If I should die Tonight

by Archangel of the Silent

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad, Rainbow Dash, Other, Tragedy
Length: 4729

Trapped behind enemy lines, Dash finds out that she and her estranged father have more to talk about than she thought.

It's been years since Rainbow Dash talked to her father. He never really approved of some of her life decisions, and in return, she never really did anything in an effort to make him proud. The relationship was... cold, for lack of a better term. She never even bothered to tell the former Wonderbolts Colonel about her joining the Marine Corps. She never told him about Suez.

Now, under heavy siege, Dash has an opportunity to finally address some lingering issues before the night takes her from her brothers.

Turns out, the two had more to talk about than she'd thought.

Published 2015-03-25 17:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-25 17:10:02 UTC

Letters from War

"Relax, guys. I'll be gone for like, a couple of months, tops. It's a training mission."

"It's Zebrica." Applejack rolled her eyes at Dash's bravado. This was just like her, ignoring the obvious dangers of a situation for the thrills or (in this case) duty, as she put it. "Remind us again why you couldn't get that show job with the Wonderbolts?"

If the train hadn't been about to leave, Rainbow would've settled in for an epic tale of how she was too good for the Wonderbolts. Her old Drill Instructor had told her so, and Marines didn't lie. "Because a Reservist doesn't get out all that often," the newly appointed First Lieutenant replied for what seemed to be the millionth time since her orders had come in. "I promise, I'll be fine. No combat." The six shared in a group hug for a few seconds.

In hindsight, she could have felt a little worse about lying to her friends like that.

"Ma'am?" Rainbow Dash shifted slightly in her cot. Without even opening her eyes, she knew it would be late evening, the last of the suns rays seeping through the safehouse's curtains. She slowly brought up a forehoof to wipe some sweat off her brow, almost surprised when she touched a synthetic fabric rather than fur before she remembered where she was. "Lieutenant Dash, ma'am?"

The night shift sucked. No disrespect to Her Highness, Princess Luna, but waking up at sunset and staying awake until the morning twilight just wasn't natural. Sleeping in the sunlight was for mid-afternoon naps. Despite her discomfort with the situation, however, her eyes still found themselves fluttering open to be greeted with the sight of a large, desert mosaic breastplate, emblazoned with the Sun and Moon on the left, and an insignia consisting of three chevrons and two rockers with crossed daggers in the middle. "Nap's over, Frenzy?"

Blade Sergeant Photo Frenzy was briefly taken aback when his commanding officer used his actual name. Ever since he'd been assigned to this platoon, the lieutenant called him nothing other than "Sergeant" or "Oddball". Admittedly, it was pretty strange for a professional photographer to join the Marine Corps, especially so early in life, but very few ponies actually had military-related cutie marks, and destiny and duty didn't need to conflict all the time. For the sake of the chain of command, he'd suffered through it, but it hadn't been pleasant- he'd gotten more than enough of that at Basic.

"Nap's over, ma'am," he began to reply, trying his hardest not to show how happy he was by the paradigm shift. "A zebra squad arrived about a minute ago; we've got a First Sergeant Ajani asking to speak with you."

"And you told him you'd wake me up?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Rainbow Dash let herself fall out of bed, quickly catching herself on all fours before shaking off the last of her rest. "I'll be out in a minute." She watched as Frenzy began walking away, only to quickly add, "Hey, Oddball! Put something on, I'm starving!"

I had to tempt fate, the Marine thought to himself.

Almost exactly a minute later, Dash threw on her patrol cap as she stepped out into the open air. The patio there was a simple enough affair, with only three tables crammed tightly together to make room for a very small parade ground, whereupon a squad of eight zebras, almost all of whom wore jungle fatigues, stood in formation. They didn't march there, of course, but it was enough for shift change. Color Guard, too, but due to the nature of the operation, the three squads of Marines covering two floors of building flew neither Equestrian nor Zebrican colors. "Which one of you is First Sergeant Ajani?" she called to the assembled paramilitaries.

In near perfect uniformity, they snapped to a position of attention as one of them stepped forward. His mane showed signs of the classic Mohawk, but it had been cut, almost shaved to the scalp. He wore no headgear, likely a tactical choice: hostile forces were more likely to attempt to eliminate a squad if they looked well-armed. The odd one out stopped in front of Dash, offering a salute as he did so. She knew she wasn't supposed to, but as a sign of solidarity, the pegasus saluted back. As they both lowered their hooves, the zebra chose to extend it in front of him instead. "I am First Sergeant Ajani," he began. The accent was a distinguishing feature to him, despite being surrounded by similar speakers all the time. It was far thicker than anything the officer had heard before, both in- and out- of country. It was low and rather abrasive, yet still somehow soothing. While she began shaking his hoof, he continued. "Operatives at your consulate told me to ask for you here. We understand you've found False Prophet?"

Adebowale Crusif. Rainbow had read the file. Named "False Prophet" by the local government, Crusif was, in actuality, nothing more than a radical warlord, using violence, or the threat thereof, to achieve his objective. That didn't stop a sizeable population of locals from rallying behind him, however. For decades, the small nation had played host to countless civil wars, wrought by warmonger upon warmonger attempting to seize power from the central government for him- or herself, only to have it end the same way; the Equestrian Legion would step in, help loyalist forces put down the rebellion, then step back a little and wait for it to happen again. That all stopped when Adebowale stepped up to the plate. Financed by Celestia-knows-who, Crusif had seemingly infinite resources, armies of mercenaries and zebra radicals at his back, and one solution to his country's problems: all the previous uprisings had happened while the Legion was there, so in his mind, it was Equestrians (and their supporters) who needed to be put to the sword.

Dash's platoon of Marines had been called in to, with the assistance of the Equestrian Intelligence Service, locate, identify, and eliminate the leader of those so-called freedom fighters. Those mercenaries had been responsible for the deaths of at least a hundred soldiers, and she was willing to do whatever it took to take him down. "That's right. We were using this old EIS safehouse to track him, but we've since confirmed he's there. I suppose you're here to help take him down?"

"In any way we can be of service."

Rainbow briefly contemplated this. "Well..." she thought aloud, drawing the attention of her newfound ally. "I have three squads of nine Marines here with me. I was going to take two of them to breach his house, and send the other to secure one of his forces' weapons stashes. But if you really want to help, your team can link up with me, and I can send two squads to hit the weapons. Sound good?" The zebra silently nodded. "Great. I'll have one of my boys show you to the squad bay downstairs. I'm sure we can make room for you. Get a good night's rest, because we move at dusk tomorrow. Corporal Lines!"

Almost immediately, a young Marine corporal in his mid-twenties stepped into the entryway of the safehouse. "Yes, ma'am?" Sight Lines replied to his summons.

"Show our new guests to the squad bay. I've got to eat something."

"Yes, ma'am. With me, gentlecolts."

Like that, they were off. Dash let a small smile creep onto her face; she did enjoy playing officer. It was a lot like a strategy game, if she forgot about all the lives placed in her hooves. Not a stupid strategy game, like chess. Risk. That was a strategy game. She wore that smile even bigger as she stepped inside, removing her patrol cap, catching a strong whiff of hay fries on the floor's stove. "So what did I miss while I was out?" she called to the open kitchen, thankful that she wasn't likely to wake anypony else yet.

"I haven't been awake for that much longer than you, ma'am," Frenzy replied in a much quieter tone of voice, aware that his CO was now in the room for him. He looked over his shoulder to find her giving her one of those condescending looks she gave as if to say "that wasn't the question". Sighing, he walked over to the table and looked over several envelopes. "Couriers dropped off several transcripts for you of letters from some mares back in Equestria, an official letter from Princess Twilight for you, and a memo from Kraken. They say you need to start wearing your armor on those crazy night ops of yours." The lieutenant tried her hardest to quickly suppress her chuckles, but only partially succeeded. "So I should throw that out the window, then?"

Dash's eyes opened in shock. "No, Sergeant, you do not throw official memos from Fleet out the window." The tone was serious enough. So was the silence that followed, where both of the Marines simply stared at each other. Finally, the pegasus spoke again. "Someone could see it down there, compromise this whole op. You put it in the fire out back."

Both of the ponies broke into uncontrollable laughter after that. It was Frenzy who was the first to recover, turning his attention back to the cooking meal. "You know, ma'am, you keep going out like that and one of these days, those griffons are going to see you and shoot you out of the sky. The mane's real pretty, but I doubt that it could stop a bolt."

"If I get caught, it'll be because I was wearing that bulky armor. I'm not like you, I can't just lounge around in that stuff. And I am not dying my mane black again." She took a seat at the table, reaching for the first letter. As fate would have it, it happened to be from Fluttershy, causing her to let out a small sigh of content.

"That from your friends back in Ponyville?"

"Yeah." Nothing more. She was already busy reading.

"So I'm doing the Changing of the Guard tonight?" No response. Frenzy sighed less out of content and more out of an inability to vocalize his annoyance. "Yeah, fine, I'll do Guard tonight."

"Thank you, Sergeant."

The lieutenant took around twenty minutes reading the letters, pausing only for food, and never for very long. Things seemed to be doing fine at home, for the most part. Naturally, everypony was worried sick about her, just like they'd been the day that she'd left. They all knew this was her last op, though. One more mission, plus another two months at sea, and she could finally put Suez behind her. Pinkie could throw that party that Dash wasn't technically supposed to know about (Applejack had let that slip, so she would be dealing with that), Rarity could talk for hours about how great she looked in dress, and Fluttershy could finally stop worrying. I know you wanted this, but you've changed. Dash's eyes quickly darted back over the letter, falling on that key phrase. I don't know if that's good yet, so you'll have to come home for me to see. I want Rainbow Dash back. Not First Lieutenant Rainbow Dash, just Rainbow Dash. Please?

Guilt was not a feeling the former Wonderbolts Reservist was overly familiar with. The way she figured it, a pony had one life to live, and only ever one life; there was no sense focusing on mistakes, or what could have been. No matter what, she pressed forward. That wasn't to say she wasn't capable of regret- she'd once sold her best friend into slavery for book. It simply wasn't something she was used to feeling.

"Gear up, ma'am," a voice called from across the kitchen, pulling the mare from her thoughts. Shaking her head in order to clear her mind, she looked up to see Photo Frenzy standing in full reconnaissance loadout. Light armor, night vision goggles and binoculars, magical resonance imaging goggles and binoculars, a few spare cameras, the works. "Last shift."

"One, transcript. MRI shows three contacts entering target building through entrance one, front door. Time, twenty-two zero-four, over," the stallion spoke into the night, setting down his binoculars. He shivered a little, a testament to the chilled air and only moderately warm clothes.

The radio between the two ponies sparked to life. "Re, team one. Transcript: three contacts. Team two reports no movement on their end. Eighteen contacts in the building, possibly more in the bunkers. Break." A short silence. "Kraken advises op-hold until raid time, twenty-two hundred tomorrow. Confirm?"

Rainbow Dash shifted uncomfortably on the cold square stone cornering the safehouse's balcony. Four hours she and Frenzy had laid there, having the exact same conversation with the transcriptors inside waiting for orders to come through to do something. In four hours, nothing had come. "Confirmed, Desktop. Op-hold. Team one, out." She set the receiver down to her left, next to the radio. "I'm getting tired of waiting."

"We could play a game to pass the time," her company suggested with a wide grin. "I spy with my little eye..."

"Is it a street made of sand?" Frenzy shook his head. "Is it a house made of sand?" He shook his head again. "Is it the sky?"

"Team one, re-transcript. Team two reports a group of five-plus contacts leaving out of the entrance two, rear door. Break. Seven contacts have left the building. Eleven contacts remain. Break. Kraken's torn. Your call, lead. Over."

Dash picked up the radio again. "What's the other site look like?"

"Teams three and four are ready to go, waiting on your word. Report forty-plus contacts in the camp. They're on your go."

The officer considered this for a minute. These were the kinds of tactical choices that could make or break a Marine's career. If they went now, they could all go home one day earlier. If they waited, even more mercenaries might enter the compound. On the other hoof, if they went now, some of her ponies might not have be fully rested, as they'd planned the sleep schedule for a raid the next night. Capturing Crusif meant promotion to Captain and finally taking him away from a place where he could harm others. Failing to do so meant a lot of unnecessary deaths, Marine and civilian. In the end, though, split-second decisions weren't taking anypony anywhere.

"Acknowledged, Desktop. Give me an hour to think, over."

"Affirmative, Lieutenant. Callback in one hour. Out."

"It was the sky," Frenzy said slowly while he watched Dash get to her hooves and hop back onto the balcony. "Crazy solo night op?" His superior nodded. "Try to hide that mane of yours. Last thing we need is you catching a bolt in the back of the head tonight."

"Your concern for my safety is touching," Rainbow replied sarcastically. "Make sure nopony does anything stupid while I'm gone. I'll be back before callback."

"Make sure nopony gets themselves killed, aye ma'am." With that, Dash took off into the night, welcoming the sudden rush of wind on her face as an escape from the nervous sweat on her brow.

Rainbow swooped in low on her approach, coming to a slow glide as she neared the safehouse. Callback was soon, and she needed to report her findings to her platoon. She banked up, bringing herself level with the balcony outside. "Miss me, Sergeant?"

"Something like that, ma'am." Frenzy turned from his post, still prone on the support, to face his commander. "Anything to..." A small flash of light caught his eye in the distance. If it had come from any other position, he'd have sworn it was just a star. But, the fact was that it came from the compound he was watching. The roof, specifically.

"Sniper!"

The sound of a bolt releasing was almost imperceptible, even in the dead of night. The tiny whizzing noise it made as it sliced through the air was undetectable to all but the best trained ears. Frenzy leaped up from his spot just as Rainbow began to turn around to face the threat. Jumping high, he grabbed his lieutenant by the waist and began to pull her down to the ground, but he was a fraction of a second too late.

The shot did, somewhat fortunately, miss its intended target, impacting instead the broad side of Dash's left wing and traveling straight through to fall off the far wall. The pegasus cried out in pain, a natural reaction to the unnatural hole that now found itself in her body. It had gone through clean enough, leaving little blood, but it still hurt like hell.

Frenzy climbed off of her as two unicorn Marines ran out to their position. One quickly dropped into a low ready, casing a high frequency shield spell over the balcony. The other knelt beside the wounded officer and began to attempt to dress her wounds.

"Corpsmare!" the present unicorn called, hoping the medic would be awake.

"Oddball," Dash strained. The stallion in question also got in close, not wanting her to breath any heavier than she needed to. "There are camouflaged snipers at the other site. You'll need air support on stand-by."

"I'll need?"

"You need to go. Execute now!" Frenzy hesitated for a second, questioning whether he should leave his superior here. A second later, the medic finally walked on to the balcony, quickly running over to her. "I've got a corpsmare and two guards, I'll be fine. Go!"

All the sergeant could do was nod, then run off to wake the platoon. He wasn't sure if he was ready to take this level of command, but he hoped so.

"Ma'am, I need you to..." Dash cut the medic off with a loud scream as she placed a small medical patch between the ground and the wounded pegasus's wing "Remain calm!" Despite said pegasus's lack of legitimate authority over her as a Petty Officer in the Naval Service, it was very rare that the corpsmare found herself yelling at Marines during any of her three tours. That wasn't to say that she wouldn't, if a situation presented itself in which doing so would be preferable to the alternatives. Fortunately, this was one of the instances where it worked. As the Marine officer struggled to muffle her pain, the Petty Officer grabbed a second medical patch from her kit. However, when she knelt back down to apply it, she noticed a small gray circle beginning to form around the topside of the wound.

"Please don't tell me..." she whispered to herself as she looked back to the wall near the small entryway back into the safehouse, her eyes scanning for the sniper's bolt that had impacted somewhere there. Finally she found it, quickly looking it over. It was roughly forty-some centimeters in length, but the shaft itself was of little interest. Rather, she focused on the head, noting its construction. It was a dark gray metal, five centimeters protruding from the shaft, with a minimal amount of blood on it. One spot in particular showed something very interesting to her: around the blood stain, the metal had become bright silver, gleaming in the moonlight. In the half a second she'd been making these observations, the corpsmare knew she had to take action immediately. "Lance Corporal!" One of the Marines turned around to face her. "Get on the radio and tell command to send a full medical team from the consulate, STAT!"

"Aye aye, Petty Officer!"

"What's going on, Corpsmare?" Dash strained through her wounds, struggling to even breath, let alone talk.

"The bolt that hit you was covered in a powerful neurotoxin. A full medical team is on the way now." She looked down at the lieutenant's confused face, swiftly remembering that not everypony was a fully trained Navy medic. "You've been poisoned. It's slowly shutting down your brain. Right now, you'll find it hard to breath and talk. I promise you, a medical team with proper amounts of atropine will be here long before you start experiencing any other symptoms. I'm going to take you inside, and I'll stay with you until they arrive. You're going to be OK, acknowledged?"

As Dash was dragged inside, she could hear the radio on the desktop sparking to life. No sign of False Profit at the primary site. Teams One and Two are moving to secondary location, out. Frenzy seemed to be doing well in command, at least. Finally, the medic placed her in an open back room with her back to the cold sandstone wall. "Petty Officer?"

"Don't talk, ma'am. You'll use too much energy."

"I need you to get me some paper, something to write with."

"Now's not the time for deathbed letters, Lieutenant. I told you the medical team's on their way."

"You shouldn't make promises you can't keep. It's just..."

"If you should die tonight, you want somepony to know something that they don't already know?" Dash nodded in reply. "Fine, but you have to stop talking. Too much energy." The healthy pony left the room for a minute, coming back with a piece of letter paper and a pencil in her mouth. She dropped them on the floor next to Rainbow, then returned to her post at the door.

Dash laid down on her stomach and took the pencil from the floor into her mouth. The floor was covered in dirt and sand, providing for a less than suitable surface for writing. Nevertheless, she placed the paper in front of her and tried to write. She'd read about soldiers doing this sometimes. Writing letters to loved ones as they passed into Elysium. She would've liked to have said some things in pony, but she knew she might not have that luxury. She didn't have a ton of "loved ones" to write to, unfortunately. Dash tried and tried, but couldn't decide on a single recipient.

Dear friends,

Too impersonal.

Dear Fluttershy,

Her closest friend would have enough to deal with.

Dad. Rainbow had no idea why the thought would even try to present itself at that moment: she hadn't spoken to her father since she moved out at sixteen. They were never close, and neither had had any qualms about her departure. He's perfect. Personal enough to be worthy of effort. Distant enough to be memorable, and detached enough to prevent devastation to somepony's entire life.

Lighting Prism,

Colonel Lighting Prism,

Dad,

I know how long it's been since we've talked. I'll try to keep this short. I'm sure you have better things to be doing anyways, as usual.

I'm dying. I don't claim to understand it, but Doc say's I've been poisoned, and we've needed to talk for a while.

I was doing pretty well after I left. I want you to know that I knew you didn't want me to go. I was a little upset that you didn't argue, but you thought it was for the best. You always did say the Fluttershy was a good role model. Maybe if I'd taken after her a little more, I wouldn't be here. I know that you didn't really hate Cloudchaser. You were just looking out for your little girl. Maybe if I'd listened, I wouldn't have gotten my heart broken like that. I know you only pushed me so hard because I wanted to be a Wonderbolt, not the other way around. Everything you ever did, you did for me.

I'm sorry I didn't listen.

I went to Ponyville with Fluttershy. It was a nice place, but I didn't really make any friends. I worked the weather and didn't focus on anything but work and training (with the occasional nap). I was actually Captain, there. I'd humor myself by thinking you'd have been proud that I made it in four years. Maybe you were.

Six years after I left, I finally made those friends. I'm sure you heard about it—we did kind of save the world. Element of Loyalty, that's me. Ironic, isn't it? I spent so much of my life running away.

I wish we'd kept in touch. You would've liked Applejack. Funny, dedicated, and stubborn as hell. Remind you of anyone?

If I'd listened to her, I wouldn't be in this mess. I joined the Marine Corps, Dad. I'm a First Lieutenant now.

This was two years ago. Right after Crusif's attacks against the consulates here in Zebrica. Applejack kept insisting that I had a job to do in Equestria. I was a Wonderbolts Reservist, you know. I came pretty close to making show team before this happened. I was... Angry. I was angry that someone could march into a building and kill so many innocent ponies like that, I signed up for an Marine OCS class as soon as I could. Everypony begged me not to go. If I'd just listened...

I never stopped to consider what would've happened if I'd told you about it. We could've talked, reconnected. I could have had my family back.

I'm so sorry. I was stupid and selfish. If I could take it back, you know I would in a heartbeat.

But if you're reading this...

I love you.

—Your daughter,

1LT. Rainbow Dash, Equestrian Marine Corps.

P.S. Are you proud of me now?

Lightning Prism set the small paper down on his table and tried to collect himself. It was a lot to take in, especially being so sudden. Even after waiting for nearly thirty minutes to even try to open it, it was difficult to keep the tears back. The Marine who had delivered it didn't seem to have any problems with the wait, even politely denying beverages and small snacks as the former Colonel gathered his thoughts. It was another minute before the pegasus stallion spoke, his voice cracking under pressure. "She died well?"

Master Sergeant Photo Frenzy swallowed the lump in his throat as silently as he could, causing it to press sharply against the collar of his service uniform. "I can't speak for the circumstances of her death, Sir," he began to reply softly, trying to find the words for the situation. "But the intel she died securing saved a lot of lives, her entire platoon included. I don't think many ponies could ask for a better death."

"She saved you?"

"Yes, Sir. She did. I'm sorry I couldn't save her."

Duty was not unfamiliar to Lightning. Nor was sacrifice, brotherhood, and the regret that came when somepony didn't come home. In his twenty-four years with the Air Force, he'd seen plenty of all of them. But this... this was a little bit more personal. He'd stayed awake for far too many nights wondering what had become of his daughter for it to end like this. Weren't fathers supposed to die before their children?

"Half of Canterlot's showing up to the funeral. Most of Equestria owes her their lives. I'm sure she would've liked nothing more than to have you there."

The elder stallion considered this briefly, before arriving at the simplest conclusion. "She had no reason to be sorry. When she left, I didn't stop her. I never reached out, I never tried to reconnect. I don't have the right to be there."

"She forgave you, though. When all is said and done and our world collapses around us, all that is left is our memories and our actions. There are plenty of ponies out there to remember her actions. Her memories, less so."

Prism was surprised by the meaning of the younger's so few words, though didn't show it. Still, he had a point. It was something of a duty at this point to remember. "When?"

"Two weeks from today."

The pegasus sighed. "Guess it's time to go find my blues again, isn't it?" She did want me to meet this Applejack.

Author's Note

I'm a terrible person. Why do I enjoy killing these ponies so much?

Anyways, thanks for reading if you've made it this far. The first half or so of it was edited and preread by Rough Draft, who also created the character Photo Frenzy in his story Our Lady's Courtship. Sadly, he hasn't been online to edit the rest, and I'm impatient. So, if you find mistakes, do tell.