"Sanity? What's that?"

by Burritoburger

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Original Character, Comedy, Random
Length: 2342

Blitz loses his sanity after surviving a terrorist attack.

Meet Blitz. The most regal stallion in all of Ponyville, and honestly, one of the most important. So what happens when a terrorist mission goes wrong? His sanity is erased from his mind and he enjoys life in his philosophical ways. Such as, "WHY ARE THERE WALLS?! THEY HAVE NO PURPOSE BUT TO SCREW WITH PONIES WHEN THEY RUN INTO THEM!" So Blitz's friends hear about this and try to get some help while trying not to get Blitz in too much trouble.

Published 2012-05-06 04:54:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-07-06 11:25:48 UTC

Chapter 1: The Party

"...So I would like to invite you to my party at Sugarcube Corner tonight at 8:00 o'clock." Violet finished reading aloud to her brother.
"So, am I invited or what?" Her brother asked.
"P.S. Make sure Shadow comes as well." Violet added, reading the bottom of the note.
"Awww yeah! This party is going to be wicked!" Shadow replied in excitement.
Violet chuckled at his nature and looked at the clock, where she gasped. She shot up from her seat and dashed over to the door.
"Come on! We're going to be late!" Violet yelled after her brother. Shadow glanced at the clock and jumped up as well, noticing the time being 7:52.

"Seriously, why would you give someone a letter to a party at the last minute? I find that pretty stupid." Shadow pressed on as they flew towards Sugarcube Corner, definitely not wanted to be late.
"Oh, shut up. Besides, Blitz isn't stupid." Violet argued as thoughts of the orange stallion rushed inter her mind, resting her thoughts and keeping her at peace. Just saying his name makes her want to burst with joy, and love every moment of thoughts of him gracefully wafting through her mind, calming her with every passing sec-
"Focus, Juliet." Shadow snickered, noticing his sister's usual stare into space moment, that can happen quite a bit.
"Whatever. Come on. We're almost there anyways."
The rest of the flight went in silence.

Upon arriving, Violet and Shadow were greeted by a not very exciting Sugarcube Corner from the outside. They shrugged it off and knocked on the door. The orange stallion with red and yellow hair named Blitz opened the door and smiled.
"Hey, guys! Glad you could make it. But, it's a bit early, don't you think?"
"Oh, it's never too early for her." Shadow snickered at Violet, but shut up when she punched him in the arm. She then looked back up at Blitz, a stupid smile on her face.
"Yeah! It's great to be here, maybe we can set up?" Violet asked quickly, trying to alter the situation before it got awkward.
"Actually, everything is set up, the party starts in a few minutes - uh, why don't you come inside?" He asked politely before they all walked inside, entering a room filled with sweets, decorations, and a DJ station reserved for... well, a DJ.
"Wow! So, what's the occasion?" Violet asked, staring at Blitz.
"Didn't you read the invitation? My older brother recently overcame his disease and moved here! Knowing Pinkie Pie, she couldn't resist throwing a party for him." Blitz explained. Violet laughed,
"Yeah, she'll throw a party even after a snail moved more than an inch." Violet replied. Blitz started laughing, obviously having a good time even before the party started. How did it feel to make Blitz laugh to Violet? Well, it made her feel proud, hopeful, and just plain amazed that she can make her "secret" crush have a good time, even with her lame jokes. Basically, she thinks "Buck yeah" every time in a nutshell.

Well, the party later started, and everypony was having a good time. It seemed as if the DJ, a gryphon, was practically cuddling with a pony while at the DJ station, and it made Violet think of her and Blitz. She then realized that this was the perfect time to reveal her secret. She mustered her strength, thought good thoughts, and walked over to Blitz, past a black coated pony rushing past her, but she was too determined to care. Blitz was over by the punch bowl, talking to another pony. Violet spoke up,
"Uh, hey. Blitz." Blitz turned around and smiled.
"Violet! How are you enjoying the party?" He asked politely.
"Oh, it's great, but I need to tell you something." She responded.
"Uh huh." Blitz responded, pouring some punch into a cup.
"Well, we have been friends for a long time, and I kinda felt like... I dunno... we were closer than that..." Violet was trying to find the right words as Blitz lifted the cup to his mouth and took a sip as she said,
"Well, I thought we could be closer together. Like... I dunno, like... better friends, right? Uh..." Violet closed her eyes, regained her strength and looked back at Blitz.
"Blitz. I want us to-"
She was interrupted by the sound of chocking and Blitz dropped his cup. There was a collective gasp as Blitz dropped to the floor, clutching his throat, making strange, gurgling sounds. Violet gasped, and could only watch as her crush fell to the ground, dying in front of her own eyes. Even after the paramedics came and informed her that he was alright, she felt scarred, as if she would never see Blitz again.

3 days later

Violet paced around the lobby of the hospital, worrying about Blitz. Finally, the doors opened and she rushed over to the doctor, who was quite shocked at how close she was to him when she asked,
"Is Blitz okay?!"
The doctor simply pushed her away from his personal space and spoke,
"Yes, he is fine." Violet sighed a sigh of relief, she thought he was dead.
"But, there is one problem." The doctor finished. Violet's heart skipped a beat.
"What? What is it?! Tell me!" She yelled at him. Once again, he pushed her away and revealed a picture of Blitz's skull, with a green spot on the cranium.
"That green spot is an infection of sorts. It is infecting the part of his brain that deals with, well, common sense and memories." The doctor said, putting the paper in his coat.
"You can see him if you want, but he isn't awake." He finished.
"YES! Take me there now!" Violet screamed. The doctor sighed and wondered for what seemed like the millionth time, why he even had this job.

"Here he is." The doctor said, opening the door that revealed Blitz lying on a bed, with a beeping machine next to him. He started to moan, and Violet rushed over to him.
"Oh wow, look at that. He wakes up just as we enter!" The doctor says, smiling. It then turns into a frown.
"How original."
Blitz started to cough and he opened his eyes, seeing Violet.
"Oh, thank Celestia you're alright! I thought you were-"
"WHOA! The walls are like cardboard! IT'S GENIUS!" Blitz yelled, staring at the walls as if they were some sort of ancient artifact. Violet looked at him curiously, and then asked,
"Blitz, are you alright?"
Blitz looked at her and his eyes widened.
"Holy crap, you're like the seventh scorpion! Can I have your autograph?!" He asked anxiously.
"Uh..."
"WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM?!" Violet yelled in the doctor's face. He gulped at the sight of her eyes, which appeared to be flaming as if they were the pits of Hell itself.
"Uh, well, the infection is messing with his brain! His brain function isn't working properly, he's basically lost it." The doctor summed up.
"Are you saying he lost his sanity?!" Violet asked, looking back at Blitz, who was currently looking at the heart rate machine as if it were a ghost.
"Well, in a crude representation, yes. And the bad news is, we can't fix it until we identify what the substance is. It could take days to years for us to find out how to cure him." He paused and watched as Blitz tackled the machine, punching it as if his life were at stake.
"Uh, worst case scenario? We never find a cure, and he's stuck like that." He gestured to Blitz, who was just throwing the device out the window. Snickering he turned around and stopped short, as if he were guilty. He looked around the room and grabbed the bed sheet.
"He did it." He said while pointing to it.
"At the moment, he is in your hooves, as he has caused too much damage here." The doctor said. With that, Blitz and Violet were kicked out of the hospital, to land on the grass outside.
"AHH!" Blitz yelled. Violet instantly got to attention.
"What is it?" She asked.
"IT'S THE YOLOLOS!"
Blitz then tackled a tree, gnawing at it and sometimes stopping and saying, "Yum." And then chomping on it again. Violet sighed and plopped down on the grass. This isn't going to end well.

Chapter 2: The Escape

Violet sighed as she opened the door to her home, shoved Blitz in, and locked it, making sure nopony was following them. She turned to Blitz to find him scraping his chin against the floor, until getting up with a frown on his face.
"This floor doesn't seem right. Not enough mind sacks." Blitz said. Pushing aside the sacks comment, Violet proceeded to take a chair and set Blitz on it. Having looked already for a rope and not finding one, Violet used Blitz's current state to her advantage.
"You know you'll never be able to get past those ropes tying you down, right?" Violet said, gesturing towards Blitz. He then started to struggle but didn't move out of the chair.
"Oh! You sneaky coconut! You're working for them, aren't you?!" He yelled, obviously believing the existence of the invisible rope.
"Yeah, yeah, sure. Keep talking. It isn't helping." Violet said, getting annoyed.
"You won't get away with this! Let me go! Or face the wrath of the Devil's Refrigerator!" Blitz yelled, thrashing about. Violet sighed, feeling really exhausted. She looked down at her stomach rumbling, and she clutched it, feeling quite hungry. Blitz seemed to hear this.
"Mother? Is that you? Where is the frying pan?" He asked, constantly looking around the room. Violet sighed yet again, and turned down the hall into the kitchen. Meanwhile, Blitz looked around the room, for any means of escape. Suddenly, a snake appears!
"Come here boy! Come hereee!" He called out to nothing in particular. He then started screaming and looked at his chest, where invisible blood seeped out. But he sucked it up and leapt out of the window, a large crash heard behind him. Violet noticed this and ran inside to find a chair and a broken window with glass all over the floor.
"Oh, this is bad..." She muttered.

Meanwhile, at Storm Glider's house...

This is the life!
I relaxed back in my jacuzzi, feeling all pains slip away with ease. My butler, Henry, started to approach me.
"Is there anything I can get you, sir?" Henry asked.
"Nah, go take a break dude. You've worked hard enough today." I replied, waving my hoof.
"As you wish." He walked off.
I sighed and enjoyed the warn bubbles on my skin.
*BANG BANG BANG!*
What the bu-
I opened my eyes, irritated, and slowly got out of the jacuzzi, grabbing the towel next to me.
*BANG BANG BANG!*
"I'm coming! Sheesh." I said, getting more annoyed by the loud and constant banging. After wrapping the towel around my body, I trotted over to the door and opened it to reveal a very panicked (and sexy) Violet, who was panting.
"Oh, what brings you by?" I asked, trying to score her for at least the hundredth time.
"Blitz... Hospital... Insane... Missing... Help!" She panted.
"Baby, you're going to have to speak in a full sentence for me to even know what you're trying to say." I said.
"Come on, loverboy, we need to find Blitz." She said, clutching onto my neck. She pulled me away from the front door and ripped my towel off.
"Baby, slow down, there's more than enough time for me." I cooed. She rolled her eyes.
"I'll explain on the way, just follow me!" She barked.

They're EVERYWHERE. Blitz though as he ran down the street.
He took the time to stop and growl at every pony around him. They all responded with questioning glares. A few even came up to see what was wrong, and he responded with a shrill cry and a sprint in the opposite direction. without looking, Blitz mistakenly ran directly into a tree, and didn't take note of the small stream of blood leaking from his scrunched up nose.
"Oh, thank goodness!" Blitz said, hugging the tree as if it were a newborn baby. "I found you at last! We need to get away from these hideous, vile, and tragic creatures of nature..." He said, pointing out to every pony around him as they all frowned in slight anger at the insults he was cracking. "...known as musk melon!"
"...What?" Somepony finally asked, breaking the silence.
"IT SPEAKS! We must defend ourselves!" Blitz yelled as he ran forward and tackled the pony to the ground. Eventually, surrounding ponies pulled him off the unlucky stallion, and Blitz looked to the tree in agony.
"Save yourself! I won't stand a chance..." He said, looking down and closing his eyes in defeat. The ponies holding him scowled and dropped him to the ground. Everypony in the surrounding area left and Blitz opened his eyes once more.
"I... I'm free! Oh, thank Celestia, I'm free! I'm not dead!" He then looked back down again.
"I must stop them from further harm." He then ran off, smacking into a building and apologizing to it, and left to find some materials.

"Baby, where are we going?" Storm asked behind me, as I half dragged him across the street.
"We're finding Blitz." I responded for the third time.
"Blitz? What are we doing finding Blitz?" He asked, dropping the flirting personality for just a second.
"Okay. I want you to listen veeery carefully." I said, stopping and looking at him. He slowly nodded.
"Blitz was in an accident." I said, very slowly. Storm Glider nodded.
"He was in the hospital." I continued. He nodded.
"He lost his sanity." Nod.
"He escaped from my house." Nod.
"And we need to find him." Nod.
"So can you help me?" Storm hesitated, but smiled coyly.
"Anything for you, Sweetheart."
I facehoofed and continued dragging him along the street.