Chapters "Nopony could remember a time when it had rained so hard."
Lauren looked at the lanky twenty-something male before her, his face pock-marked as his shoulder-length blonde hair looked to be in desperate need of washing, and he was wearing a Twilight Sparkle T-shirt.
Lauren set the pages onto the table before resting her head in her hands while giving a deep sigh. She then looks up and shakes her head. "Well, it looks like you put a lot of time into this script, but I'm no longer a part of the show. But if you send it to Studio B, I'm sure they'll be able to let you know about it."
The young man's face brightened as he took back the script with a bright smile. "Thank you, Mrs. Faust!"
Leaning back in her chair, she looked to her left to the curly-haired man next to her. "Craig? Can you send someone to get me a drink and some more antacids...? The baby's making me feel queasy again."
Craig McCracken looked over and shook his head. "Are you sure it's not just the episode suggestions and fanart those 'bronies' keep bringing?"
Lauren gave her husband a dark look before waving off the comment. "oh, they are not that bad, honestly. In fact, some of these are really good! Besides, have you forgotten the Powerpuff Girls comic book some fan mailed us?" The shudder from her husband confirmed that fact for her as she chuckled.
"It's not funny!" he shouted angrily, then took a softer tone. "I'm sorry, it's just... They're just toddlers! What kind of person would have them... DO THAT!"
Lauren just shook her head. "That's my point... Yes, I'm getting some weird fans, but at least we're not as bad off as poor Tabitha... That mob keeps following her asking her to 'Do Rarity's voice'!"
Author's Note
First try at a story for Equestria Daily's 300 word contest. Lauren Faust & Craig McCracken copyrighted by their parents who love them so much.
Nopony could remember a time when it had rained so hard. But the rain felt good to Scootaloo as they hid the tears from what she saw earlier. "How could she!?" The filly remembered and shuddered at the thought. "That tramp Spitfire! Just because she's a Wonderbolt, she thinks she can steal a kiss from MY Rainbow Dash!"
Standing upon the branch as the wet wind whipped about her body, Scootaloo shook a forehoof at the sky. "I will win her... HORSE APPLES!" Stumbling on the slippery bark, the filly pegasus suddenly trips and falls down.
Slowly coming to, Scootaloo let out a groan. Shifting slightly, she gives a wince at moving her left forehoof. Looking down, she gives a whinny of protest at her foreleg in a splint. "Don't move, you'll hurt yourself!" A filly's voice comes from the foot of the bed and Scootaloo sees a grey unicorn with a blonde mane looking up at her. "What in Equestria compelled you to be out tonight? You're lucky mom found you on her way home from delivering mail so I could set your sprained leg!"
Scootaloo blinked slowly. "Wait, your mom is Derpy?"
The grey unicorn bristled at that name and shook her head. "No, her name is Ditzy Doo, thank you very much. And my name is Dinky Doo."
Scootaloo looked away ashamedly. "I'm sorry, I just hear other ponies call her that..."
It was then that the young pegasus felt a hoof rest on her shoulder gently. Turning, she saw those eyes she'd used many times before when looking at Rainbow Dash as Dinky nickered out, "It's... It's okay, Scootaloo. I'm just glad you didn't get hurt too badly... You always look so wonderful when you zoom around town!"
Scootaloo smiled back and thought to herself, 'Maybe I don't need Rainbow Dash after all..."
Author's Note
ScootalooXDinky shipping... I'm going to pony hell. Written for the Equestria Daily May 300 Word Contest. Verb tense editing help from iheartfornax on IRC.
And Now, For These Messages...
We'll be back to My Little Ponies on The HUB after these words from our sponsors!
Rainbow Dash is standing in a bathroom as she tosses back her mane. "Hello ladies..." she begins in a sultry tone before licking her lips. "Look at your stallion. Now back to me. Now back at your stallion. Now -back- to me. Sadly, he isn't me. But if you stop using Heterosexuality and switch to Lesbianism, you could find a nice mare ALMOST as cool as me."
Rainbow Dash starts to trot, the bathroom walls pulling away to reveal she's on a boat as a life preserver drops from the sky to land around her neck. "Look down, now back up. Where are you? You're on a boat to the Island of Lesbos with the fastest pony in all of Equestria. Now look at your hand, now back to me. I have it!" She lifts her left hoof holding a clam. As the clam opens, she replies. "It's a clam with two tickets to that movie you love but your stallion says he never wants to go see..."
She drops the clam to the deck as twin rainbows appear in the sky over her boat. "Look again. It's double rainbows all the way across the sky. Anything is possible when you switch to Lesbianism and date a mare. I'm a pegasus!"
Rainbow Dash whinnies and tosses her mane as whistling music is heard at the end of the commercial. Next to her in red letters appears the words: Be About 20% Cooler - Lesbianism
*channel change*
Pinkie Pie hides behind the counter with Applebloom as they watch the four ponies in Sugar Cube Corner eating cupcakes. "I don't wanna be the one to tell them!" Applebloom says with a worried voice.
Pinkie Pie begins shaking her hooves rapidly as she backs up. "WellIcan'tbetheonetotellthem! The Cakes will kill me!"
Applebloom suddenly looks up. "I know! We can use Apologies by Gilda!"
As the four ponies finish their cupcakes, a female gryphon walks up to the table and slams her fist down upon it. "Okay, listen up you scatterbrained ponies! This is an apology from Applebloom! It turns out that the cupcakes you were just served were accidentally Baked Bads. The doctor's on the way over to treat you, but you'll probably be sick before he gets here..."
The four ponies look at the gryphon in complete shock as Gilda pulls out an ice chest and opens it. "She's sorry for the inconvenience... But hey, Apple Acres' Hard Cider?" She pulls out four bottles, and the four ponies about to get sick from extreme food poisoning start laughing.
"Well, this is great!" Cheers the first at the others smile before opening the bottles of hard cider.
Gilda nods and looks about the table. "There, you see? Drink some cider and every thing's okay!"
The camera switches to a bottle of the cider pouring into a glass as an announcer's voice intones, "Refreshingly smooth Apple Acres' Hard Cider. It makes ANYTHING fun!"
*channel change*
Princess Celestia is sitting behind a desk with her hooves crossed before her as she looks directly at the camera. "I'm here to talk to you about a serious issue. Every day, thousands of posts in pony-themed threads on 4chan are derailed by trolls. While we preached tolerance and love before, I've founded a new group to help solve the problem."
She turns her head to the left as the camera switches angles to move with her. "We in PETA, or Ponies Eating Tasty Anon-trolls, believe these Anonymous trolls can be used to supplement the food shortage currently hitting Equestria. So donate a troll today to feed a hungry pony, gryphon, dragon or monster in Equestria today. Think of the poor, hungry hydras and basilisks who will get a meal thanks to your help. So join PETA today. It's not just good for you, it's good for Bronies everywhere."
*channel change*
"Hoof-On! Apply directly to the forehead!"
*channel change*
Twilight Sparkle sits at a cafe in front of a sandwich with a huge grin on her muzzle as the announcer begins. "This is Twilight! Twilight is doing quite well... Quite well indeed!"
The scene shifts to Twilight reading a scroll with 'Hornzyte' across the top as the announcer continues. "That's because not long ago, Twilight realized with a quick dragon scroll sending she could have something much better in her life!"
The scene shifts again to Twilight in front of her library as Snails peers curiously at her as he holds a stage magic wand. "And what did she get in return? More confidence! More Self esteem!" Twilight waves to Snails, and Snails's wand droops like a wet noodle.
Twilight then opens the Library door to reveal Princess Luna with a smile as large as Twilight's on her muzzle as the announcer finishes. "And a very happy missus at home! So send a scroll via your neighborhood dragon to order your sample of Hornzyte today! Hornzyte, the effective and natural way to unicorn enhancement!"
*channel change*
The picture switches to black & white and shows a square white room. Several male & female unicorns, earth ponies, and pegasus wearing black underwear then appear in the room and begin dancing with each other. It then switches to two male pegasus wearing black underwear kissing on the screen. Next the screen switches to a pony hoof dipping into a pool of water as a female announcer says, "The new HT One from Hoity Toity. The unisex cologne for only the fanciest tastes."
*channel change*
The screen is starts to show different primary colors as a black outline of Fluttershy is shown dancing on screen. From her ears are two black lines that run down to a white screen on her forehoof as music starts to play...
"When the truth is found...
The announcer then speaks as the commercial ends, "The new iHoof 9000. Available now from AppleMac industries."
And now back to My Little Ponies on The Hub!
Author's Note
I wrote this for the Equestria Daily Writefiend/Drawfiend... The idea was spawned by the underwear ponies, and got me thinking about the nonsense Calvin Klien commercials... Then I thought... "HEY! What if ponies had commercials during My Little Pony?" And thus the fic was born... References below...
1. Old Spice Guy
2. Bud Light Apologybot Commercial [link ]
3. PETA
4. Head-On, a headache medicine in the US.
5. Enzyte, a 'male enhancement' product
6. CK One and Underwear Ponies
7. Apple's iPod & Jefferson Starship's 'Somebody to Love'
Caramel gave a swallow as he nervously trotted into the gay bar. "Th-thanks for coming with me, Big Mac..."
MacIntosh just nodded uncomfortably. "A'yup. I support ya' in... Well, in likin' other stallions. So I'll be here ta' support ya' on this. Jus' make sure none of there here'n guys get the wrong idea, okay?"
Caramel laughed. "Oh Relax, we're in Canterlot! What're the odds anyone knows us?"
"OHMIGOSH! ISTHATBIGMACHEREATTHEPINKPONYWITHCARAMEL! IALWAYSKNEWMACWASBATTINGFOROURTEAM! DOYOUTHINKAPPLEJACKKNOWSYETDASH!?"
Both stallions froze, hearing a familiar pink pony's voice behind them. Turning in dread, they both see Pinkie Pie's smiling visage while a shocked Rainbow Dash nearby.
"Are you both...?" Dash began, pointing her hoof forward as Mac backed up nervously, a look of terror on his face at this point.
"Oh no!" Caramel interjected. "Mac's all about the mares! He's just here to support me!"
Dash wiped her brow as Pinkie Pie pouted. "Well, that's just not fair!" The pink pony said, then brightened up. "Ooooh, you guys can come sit with us! We're meeting Luna and Twilight here for drinks! They just became a couple, you know, after Twilight read some books... But Mac, are you SURE you're not gay? You two would be SO cute!"
The crimson pony looked about without a word, feeling the need to prove his sexuality suddenly. Seeing a feminine unicorn, he trots over silently & gives the unicorn a long, deep kiss. After a minute, he breaks the kiss and looks towards Pinkie again. "Ayup, I'm straight."
Dash stands there with her mouth agape before finally asking in a shocked tone, "Then... Why'cha you kiss the drag queen?"
The unicorn just smiled before saying in a deep voice, "Honey, for you I can be a mare tonight."
MacIntosh began to cry, knowing this was going to be a VERY long night.