Is the Moon Made of Cheese?

by MoonMoonStargazer

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 2121

Why in Equestria is there a bite in the moon!?

After staring at the moon for countless hours, Twilight has come to the conclusion that the moon isn't actually a rock. But if that's true, then what is it?

A BIG thanks to 0_0 for once again proofreading and editing this story of mine!

And credit to Kinrah for the story art!!! (hehe ^^)

Published 2015-02-01 22:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-02-01 22:00:02 UTC

Swiss or Cheddar?

For hours she had stared through the miniscule hole at it. The sphere itself was a mystery, but that wasn’t what had caught her attention.

“I swear, Spike, there’s a bite in the moon! Come look!”

Twilight shot her head back at her assistant, who was diligently folding his cooking aprons into a neat stack. Twilight smiled at him, a halfhearted smile that was almost a cry for help.

Spike rolled his eyes, a small flame popping out of his mouth in quick succession to a heated sigh. He hopped backwards, eyes alert, scanning to make sure his aprons were safe and free from any black spots. “Twilight, I’ve looked at that moon five times already in the past ten minutes! I think you just need some rest.”

For a second, the anger was visible on Twilight’s face. She had been studying the orb for long enough to know when there was a hole that wasn’t supposed to be there! Even worse, every time she even brought up the subject near her friends, they would come up with an excuse to avoid the conversation. The only pony that seemed to listen to her was Pinkie Pie, but her riddles made no more sense than the bite itself.

“Spike, I’m telling you, somepony bit the rock! That’s the only logical explanation...unless the moon isn’t rock, but rubber!” Twilight grinned, her head instantly dropping when Spike rolled his eyes at her.

Spike had never believed any of Twilight’s crazy myths, and for good reason, too. She had once claimed that Ponyville was going to be taken over by crazed crabs because a “single grain of sand” had found its way into Sugarcube Corner. It was later found that Pinkie Pie had been constructing a beach-themed cake for Rarity’s father’s birthday.

“Twilight, if you keep coming up with weird stories like this, ponies will start labeling you as crazy.”

Picking up the basket of neatly-folded clothes, Spike began humming a tune as he made his way to the kitchen.

“I’ll show him...wait! Princess Celestia! I can show her, and then I’ll be right about it. But if I’m going to barge in there, I need a really good reason for her to look…”

“Hey Twilight!”

The sudden voice caused Twilight to fall back, tumbling over the ledge to the bottom floor of the library. Fortunately, her quick wits helped her to light her horn and envelop herself in a bubble, just in time to save herself from a nasty bruise.

Staring up at the top floor, Twilight grumbled at the bright face of Pinkie Pie. She was, as usual, keeping a balloon in close proximity, and Twilight forced a smile as Pinkie waved down to her.

“So, after thinking about your wild guesses, I can tell you the answer! The moon is obviously-”

“Wait!” Twilight interjected. “Before you say anything, I was wondering if you could take a look to help identify either of our hypothesis?” At first, Twilight was almost reluctant to ask Pinkie Pie for help, but then realized that Pinkie was the only one who believed her when she told everypony the moon wasn’t real.

“Oh Twilight, I stare at that thing every night! The answer you’re looking for is really simple.”

Twilight stood up, rubbing the dust off of her forelegs and ascending the stairs once more.

Looking at Pinkie Pie, Twilight often wondered how the pony could hold so much energy inside of her. It was like a spark of magic that had accidentally gone into overdrive. Nodding her head at Pinkie, Twilight turned back to the telescope, putting her eye to the tiny hole to stare back up at the spot she had been observing for countless hours.

“After extensive research, I think that by estimating the dimensions of the bite mark, we can find out who in Equestria, if in Equestria, has bitten the ‘rock’ on the moon. Taking that, we should be able to figure out exactly how hard the surface is, and therefore determine the substance of the moon!” Turning back from the sight, Pinkie Pie bit her lip, holding back a giggle as she stared at the black marking around Twilight’s eye.

Walking up to Twilight, Pinkie rubbed her hoof across Twilight’s eye, wiping the smudge away. Before Twilight could yell at Pinkie for ignorantly rubbing a hoof across her face, Twilight glanced down, seeing the black ink and narrowing her eyes to Pinkie.

“No, silly! If the moon was rock, then there couldn’t be a bite! And a bite can only be made in something soft, like hay or dandelions. So that must mean that the moon is made of cheese!” For a second, the air was still, Twilight staring at Pinkie in concern.

Cheese? The moon can’t be made of cheese! It would’ve melted by now from all of that light from the sun reflecting off of it! That’s crazy...right?

Twilight straightened herself up, laughing and walking towards the kitchen, where a soft snoring could be heard. “Follow me, Pinkie!” Twilight heard the soft tapping of Pinkie’s hooves behind her as they entered the kitchen.

Upon entering, Twilight smiled, rolling her eyes at the sleeping dragon atop the table. She didn’t bother poking him awake to send him off to bed, so she slowly crept past him, opening the fridge and using her horn to pull out a large wedge of cheddar cheese.

"This, Pinkie, is a block of cheddar cheese. Yellow. Cheddar. Cheese. This looks nothing like the moon." Pinkie bent down, narrowing her eyes to study the cheese. She giggled, pushing the block away from Twilight's nose.

"Of course it's not yellow; the moon is swiss!" Twilight felt her jaw drop, her eyes going huge.

Why is she so bent on this idea...it's crazy!

"We can always ask the mare that lived on the moon!" Pinkie shot back. She grinned at Twilight, who stood there, still astounded by Pinkie's hypothesis.

Gaining her composure, Twilight straightened her back and coughed, a signal that Pinkie was being fairly ridiculous. "Well, I guess that would be an option, but the two Princesses are probably really busy, and nights like this are too beautiful to interrupt, you know?"

Pinkie stopped her bouncing just long enough to confront Twilight. "Important issues like this don't come everyday, Twilight! We must see them as soon as possible, even if that means...flying cars!"

"Cars...?" Twilight knew better than to question Pinkie, but right now they were running out of options, "I'll just use a simple spell!"

Twilight’s head bounced up to her smile. She closed her eyes, the sweet buzzing from her lit horn sending an aura of bliss into the air.

Before Pinkie had a chance to grab the cheese from the counter, both ponies were gone, finding themselves in the main room of Canterlot Castle.

Looking up from her hazy state, Twilight spotted a blurry figure sitting on the largest of the two thrones.

"Princess!" she yelled, barely able to contain her anxiety, "I have a question to ask you, and even though it's a little bit funny, you always know best!"

The lone figure didn't respond, didn't even move. Twilight could still barely see through her eyes, which were fuzzy from the spell, a side effect of teleportation that was usually harmless.

"Umm...Princess? You there?"

A small hoof on her shoulder stopped Twilight. Turning around, she jumped as a small cupcake forced its way into her mouth.

"Silly filly, Twilight, that's not Princess Celestia! It's just some weird plush dummy of her!"

Twilight's eyes seemed to clear instantly, her vision better than it had been before.

Walking up to the doll, Twilight could see that Pinkie Pie was right, the stitches on the sides confirming her observation.

"Then...where is-"

"Twilight Sparkle!!! It's great to see thee again, young one!"

Twilight spun around, the figure of Princess Luna dominating the shadows in the room.

Twilight found her words starting to slur, her calm tone turning to that of panic. "Yes, Princess Luna, it's good to see you and all, but I'm looking for Princess Celestia, and if she's not in here, I'll just get going, not to-"

"Nonsense!" Luna's voice boomed, "My sister hath been called to Manehattan. She is quite silly herself, leaving this mannequin to rule the castle. Not even the Royal Guards notice the difference."

The Princess chuckled, walking over and pushing "Celestia" aside to take her place.

"Just pretend I'm her and ask thy nonsensical question!" Luna shuffled, adjusting herself to get comfortable.

Twilight was becoming fidgety, biting back her lip and hiding her tail between her hooves.

"Well, Princess, I-umm...I just...it's..." she was reluctant to ask, fearing that the Princess of the Night would laugh at her.

"Dearest Twilight, thou hath nothing to fear from me. Please, I am sure that thy question will be quite relevant."

Twilight couldn't hold back anymore. Face bright red, she jumped, nearly shouting the question.

"Is the moon made of cheese!?"

For a second, the embarrassing silence filling the room seemed unbreakable, but then Luna began to laugh.

Twilight watched in shock as Luna fell off of the chair and onto the floor in hysterical laughter.

"I mean...I've been studying...and..." again she was cut off by Luna, holding one hoof in another to remind her to stay calm.

"Little Twilight, of course it's not made of cheese! I can even show you!" Twilight had no time to react before she found herself standing on a cold surface, staring down at the planet they had been standing on moments before.

Crunching the ground underneath her, Twilight found that it was, indeed, rock she was standing on.

Turning in a full circle, Twilight's eyes fell upon the one spot she was positive could only have been a bite mark. Stepping over to it, Twilight bounced, almost letting loose a smile before remembering that this was serious business.

“You see, Twilight, I too, when trapped here, believed that the moon was of an edible substance, and my growing hunger led me to take a small bite from the surface. That was my folly, though, as this desolate land is nothing more than rocks and dust.” Twilight cocked her head to the side, listening to the voice in her head as she examined the small mark.

Spotting a small discoloration in the hole, Twilight leaned over to inspect it further-

Only to wind up back in the castle.

“Princess! There was something there...I saw it!” Twilight’s ears fell behind her head as the Princess began laughing once again.

“My little pony, that is impossible! For one thousand years I studied the moon, and found nothing out of the ordinary! Now run along, it’s the middle of the night. I shall see thee in thy dreams, Twilight Sparkle.” Princess Luna waved her royal hoof, watching as Pinkie Pie bounced behind Twilight, her continuous chatter trailing her as Luna used her magic to shut the door.

As soon as the coast was clear, Princess Celestia peeked her head out from behind one of the curtains. “Did she see it?”

Celestia sighed as Luna nodded, both of their worries fading away.

“Sister, I still do not see why thou hadst to hide it from Ms. Sparkle.”

Princess Celestia stiffly walked over to her throne, taking her seat upon it and prompting Luna to follow.

“Luna, nopony can know what the moon actually is. When anypony asks, we will send them to the moon, but our shell will remain stationed there until further notice. If anypony found out about our secret, we would be ruined forever, understand?”

Luna nodded, chuckling at the thought of what was hidden beneath that rocky covering.

“Now, let us check on our young student.” Lighting her horn up, Princess Celestia watched as the small figure of Twilight came into view, a holographic projection of the distressed mare.

It was true; she was distressed! Pacing around the library, Twilight knew there had to be an explanation for what she had seen.

“Pinkie, I think you may have been right! The moon is made of cheese!”

The Princesses silently giggled to one another, Celestia cutting off the connection as they watched Twilight Sparkle fall over from exhaustion.

“She certainly is strange, is she not, sister?”

Princess Luna flew up, ready to go out of the window and watch over the night once more.

Princess Celestia closed her eyes, the smile widening across her face. “My faithful student can be quite odd, but she’s very observant, and someday will surpass us. Until that day comes, we shall let her think that the moon is made of cheese. Goodnight, Luna, and may everypony out there have sweet dreams.”