Dungeons & Dragons & Ponies......WAIT WHAT

by lordofstorms2000

Rating: mature
Tags: Alternate Universe, Human, Dark, Comedy, Romance, Adventure
Length: 1837

STOLEN. Once again every thing I worked to get back is gone. The Merchant will pay for this. He knows not what he has created or what he has sent to Equestria; Darkness beyond Blackish Pitch. God forgive me for what I have become.

Luke was attending Pax prime for the first time, as an avid fan of anime, fantasy and science fiction this was heaven for him.

After finishing a rather invigorating session of role playing in a “The slayers” D&D adaption with his character Valcar, he decides to look in the vendor hall for anything interesting.

After an hour of browsing and buying; gathering a little collection of nic-nacks he came across the merchant. On this table sat a set of large red gems, but not just any red gems; no these were the 4 demon's blood talismans from The Slayers. After buying the talismans Luke is ripped from his life on Earth and forced into Equestria.

Now in the form of his D&D character gaining not only his skills feats and magic but also the spells of other fantasy games and shows contained in a book made from his D&D books called the Claire Bible.

Can Luke live in Equestria long enough to find a way back and strangle the merchant or will his past and the darkness within end up destroying Equestria in attempts at saving it?

“Hey author don’t forget about the shenanigans”

Oi Valcar don’t break the 4th wall, that’s pinkies job.

“shenanigans shenanigans shenanigans shenanigans shenanigans”

Fine fine but next time I’m getting my pistol (because pistol whipping in fun).

Will Celestia be able to withstand the crazy that is Luke in Valcars body or will he end up in stone.

“Hey”

In a Zoo

“Not cool”

Covered in bird seed.

“Ok I get it I'll leave. By the way Fuck you, thats low."

Haha I win :)

Author 1 / Valcar 0

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-01-28 06:34:09 UTC

Ticket to Pax $100, going to the vendor hall $600, surprising the Merchant.....PRICLESS

You know I just wanted to have some fun, not get sent to Equestria. I was at PAX prime meeting up with a bunch of my online D&D friends for a weekend of nerding out. After the second day we managed to get a total of 20 people and 3 DM’s together for a huge D&D event, the three DM’s had made a adaption for The slayers anime. We all made our characters starting at level 25 with a set amount of money and magic item allowances; in addition to our starting equipment there was incentives and rewards for doing things while setting up. People that we asked to fill roles got extra items, others could gamble to get new items and if you did some great shenanigans the DM’s would toss you things.

Several players including me had made backstories and personality charts for our characters, doing this got us a chance at some extra starting loot. We all rolled off to see what we would get; I managed to roll a 99; but high numbers aren’t always good. The 99 gave me one draw from a deck of many things. I DREW MOTHER FUCKING WISH BABY OH YEAH, and got all four wishes. For the wishes I had we made a rule that if it was too powerful it had to be rolled on to see if it would work if the roll failed a random effect would happen instead for the wish.

All told I didn’t do too bad for the wishes; my immortality became pseudo -immortality (long life high resistance fast healing) it would be hard as hell to kill me; my wish for unlimited gold to buy magic items turned into a random dice to determine the dice that will be rolled to see how many magic items you can have from each section of magic items. My last two wishes were to know all spells and be able to cast all spells that I know. I got “you got what you wished for” on both of the last ones (would rather of had that on the first two though).

The event was epic, for two days we fought. They balanced out my overpowered character by picking on me so it was like I was fighting the DM’s. I had a lot of fun doing that; they didn’t act like jerks about it so we all had fun.

Here is where it got interesting, the group broke up to get dinner and rest for the last day. On my way out of PAX to go get dinner with my friends we decide to hit the vendor hall before it closes.

I turned to my friend Vance and asked “Vance you wana head to the vendor hall, we have about an hour before they close”? After dodging a few people he answered “yeah we should, I wana see if any MLP stuff has shown up”.

For about an hour we browse the hall; we both made out rather well, though Vance was disappointed that no My Little Pony items had popped up. I shared his sentiment being a brony as well; it is how we met after all.

“So Luke what all did you get”?

“Well V-man mostly odds and ends from different shows and games, a few weapons some comics and nick knacks; also grabs a bunch of role playing books and additions for our online group”.

“You get anything good” I asked?

“Pretty much the same as you minus the role playing books, got a bunch of manga to translate and a few good comic collections to add to my own”

“HOLLY SHIT” I yelled getting looks from those around me.

Sitting on a table in the back of the hall is the full set of demon's blood talismans from the slayers anime. When I saw them I rushed up to the table.

“Dude how much for those Talismans”? I asked in a mad rush.

“Oh a good eye you have, so you know what these are and where they are from” he replied in a voice that I swear was the same as the merchant from resident evil 4.

“Hell yeah I know what they are” I exclaimed with a look for sheer joy “they’re the demon's blood talismans from the slayers anime, How much for them”?

“Mmmmmmm….. Well normally $250 because of how well made they are, but if you can put them on and cast the activation spell I will give them to you”

At this point Vance had caught up to me “dude… Luke take em I know you know the spell, this is a once in a lifetime chance”.

“Yeah I know” turning to the merchant “I accept your terms, hand me the talismans”.

After situating all my purchases on my person (not going to risk someone making off with them) I clip the talismans onto me just like Lina and Xelos do. Razing my hands and lining up the four talismans I close my eyes and begin the activation spell.

“****Lords of the Darkness and all Four Worlds,****

****Following thy bonds of fate;****

****Merge all thy power,****

****Grant unto me greater power****!”

“LUKE…..STOP I DON’T KNOW WHATS HAPPENING BUT WE NEED TO GO NOW” I heard Vance yelling at me over a strange wind.

As I opened my eyes I could see now that the talismans had responded and activated summoning power in to my being. Turning to the now smiling merchant “WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO YOU SON OF A BITCH” I yelled my eyes and body now glowing in a dark blue almost black aura.

“I gave you the talismans like you asked, just as you agreed to my terms” he stated, the smug look on his face pissed me off to no end. “I hope you have a nice trip”.

As he said that I became aware that I couldn’t hear Vance anymore, looking around I saw that he had been blown back by the winds. Then when I turned back the merchant to make him stop whatever is going on. When suddenly I could feel a pulling sensation. Standing my ground trying to resist it I make up my mind.

“IF IM GOING DOWN I’M TAKING YOU WITH ME” I yelled!

“O and what do you think you can do to hurt me”?

“HA I GUESS YOU DON’T KNOW THE SHOW THESE COME FROM, IF THE TALISMANS WORK THEN THAT MEANS I CAN CAST THE SPELLS FROM THE SHOW”

At this his smile disappeared seeing the manic grin on my face he asked in a rather wary tone“what do you mean”?

Continuing to shout because of the wind and with the pulling getting stronger by the second I yelled

“I’M NOT STUPID SINCE THESE WORK YOU ARE NO HUMAN, I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE BUT I BET THIS WILL WORK ON YOU”

Closing my eyes yet again I began another spell using the power from the boost spell that activates the talismans;

"Lord of the Darkness and Four Worlds,

I beseech thy fragments; by all of the power thou possesseth, grant the heavens' wrath to my hand;

unleash the sword of dark, freezing nothingness;

by our power, our combined might, let us walk as one along the path of destruction:

LAGUNA BLADE!"

As I finished the spell a blade of pure black energy is formed in my hand showing that the spell works. “HA WITH THIS BLADE I CAN END Y……”

That’s as far as I got before the merchant stuck his hand out palm first creating a shock wave throwing me off balance, this made me unable to resist the pulling sensation and as such I was pulled away from my world and into another.

Thud

‘OW’ man I just love it when the first words in my head after waking up ‘OW’.

As my head started to clear I could begin to take a feel as to what’s wrong, starting from my head to my toes I try my muscles to see if I can move and if I’m injured. After finishing my now normal “how bad did my fuck up hurt me this time” check (yeah as you can tell from that statement it’s not the first time I've had to do this) my head is pretty much clear  and the feeling of shell shock is dissipating and I can start to hear people.

“What is it?”

“Get…..urds”

“Is it alive?”

After a few moments of listening to this and letting my head clear a bit more I can’t shake the feeling that the voices are familiar accompanied with a feeling of déjà vu. Deciding it’s time to get up and figure out what is going on, I started to move and stand up. As soon as I started moving  the panicking begins.

“Its alive somepony get the guards”

“THE HORROR THE HORROR”

“RUN FOR YOUR LIVES”

“Da fuck is wrong with you people” I asked in a very annoyed voice, eliciting a rather odd response.

“By Celestia it talks”

Wait wait wait ‘by Celestia’ then it hits me like a fist to the face. The merchant. The talismans. The portal. The fall. “Have a nice trip”

“O THAT FUCKER” I yelled “I swear if I open my eyes and find I am not in my room dreaming all this, I’m going to shove my boot so far up the fuckers ass his tongue is going to become leather”

After my little shouting episode all I hear is dead silence, you could hear a fly fart it was so quite. This was only momentary because soon I heard a voice yelling at me “STAY ON THE GROUND! YOU’RE UNDER ARREST CREACHER”

No sooner did the unknown person say those words did I open my eyes from my crouched position; as soon as I did I got to see up close and personal who and what was yelling at me.

Ponies all around me were ponies, fucking god damn pony’s form my little pony friendship is magic. And of course me being a total smart ass, the first thing I do is stand up in one smooth motion and utter my favorite phrase “yeah well Fuck You”.

Finally getting to my feet I started getting my bearings and taking stock of my situation.

But before I even got started my whole thought process stops, since I’m up and about I got my first look at my reflection and the image I saw was of a totally different person.

Instead of a five foot six, slightly overweight, nerd with orange red hair and hazel eyes; I see a tall well-built brown haired person with grey eyes looking back at me. Again the feeling of familiarity hits me and shortly after; I recognize were I've seen this face. Somehow I've taken on the body and visage of my Dungeon and Dragons character, Valcar Wisperwind the SpellSword.