Aria Wakes Up as a Zombie
Aria Blaze woke up, a chill permeating the air as she wrapped her comforter around herself in an attempt to stave off the cold. No dice. She sighed as she removed herself from her bed, dragged herself to the bathroom, and shut the door. Aria dropped the blanket and washed her face, her eyes still half-shut from sleep. Her face now washed, she reached for her toothbrush, squirted some toothpaste on it, and brushed her teeth.
Something was off, though. As opposed to the minty freshness of her usual brand, the toothpaste tasted like cardboard. She groaned and looked in the mirror, gasping slightly at what she saw reflected at her.
She was green.
Aria spit out the toothpaste and hurriedly put the toothbrush back in its holder, quickly washing her mouth out with water that also tasted like cardboard. She stared into the mirror, pulling her cheek to make sure that she was staring at herself in the reflection. To her consternation, she was indeed staring at herself in the mirror, green face and all.
“Huh,” she said.
She blinked a few times, then shrugged and went back to her room. She threw on a hoodie and jeans, still feeling the chill from earlier. Aria went downstairs and walked to the kitchen, where Adagio was sensually eating a bowl of cereal. Adagio looked up at Aria, her eyes half-lidded.
“I see someone’s feeling a little green around the gills,” Adagio said with a smile.
Aria grunted as she pulled out a bowl and sat down at the table. “Shut up, Adagio.” She snatched the box of cereal in front of Adagio and poured herself a bowl. She dug her fingers into the bowl and shoveled a handful of cereal into her mouth. She grimaced as the golden flakes that hit her tongue also tasted like cardboard.
Adagio examined Aria as she ate another spoonful of cereal. She delicately chewed the mouthful, then swallowed it. “You don’t appear to be enjoying your corn flakes, dear.”
Aria shoveled another handful of cereal into her mouth. “Of course I’m not. Everything seems to taste like cardboard today.”
Adagio hummed and nodded. “I see. Well, I just purchased some steak from the grocery store this morning. I was going to cook it tonight, but go ahead and take it out of the fridge. You seem like you need it more.”
“Huh”? Aria asked as she raised an eyebrow, shoveling in and fighting down another handful of cereal.
Adagio grinned. “Trust me.”
Aria pursed her lips, then shrugged and headed towards the fridge and pulled out the cut of meat, still wrapped in plastic. She examined the packaging. “Sirloin steak, one pound… okay.” Aria threw the steak on the counter then crouched down under the stove, opened the cabinet, and rummaged around.
“Stop what you’re doing,” Adagio said.
Aria looked over her shoulder and frowned. “What? I’m just looking for a frying pan.”
Adagio gave a devilish smile. “Eat it raw.”
Aria squinted at Adagio. “You kidding me?”
“I’ll give you a thousand dollars if you eat it raw and don’t like it.”
Aria grinned. “You’re on,” she said as she rushed back towards the table, sat down, ripped off the plastic, then took a bite out of the steak.
Aria felt a number of things when she ripped off the first chunk of sirloin steak with her teeth. At first, she enjoyed the tender flesh hitting her tongue. Then she was confused as to why she could taste the raw flesh but nothing else. Finally, she was disappointed that Adagio wasn’t giving her a thousand dollars.
Adagio leaned in, her mouth resembling the vicious smile of a hyena. “So, how is it?”
“It’s fucking fantastic,” Aria said between bites, “how did you know this would work?”
“That’s easy,” Adagio said as she leaned back and took another bite of her cereal, “it’s because you’re a zombie.”
Aria choked on the piece of raw flesh currently in her mouth, gagging for a few seconds before dislodging it onto the table. “...the fuck?” she asked as she glared at Adagio.
Adagio shrugged. “Well, you’re green and everything tastes like cardboard. Plus, your enjoyment of raw flesh sealed it.”
“I know,” Aria said as she picked up the chunk of steak and popped it back into her mouth, “but that’s an incredible leap of logic to make.”
“Please,” Adagio said while giggling, “incredible leaps of logic are my specialty.”
“I know… but fuck,” Aria said as she ripped off another hunk of steak and chewed on it.
At that point, Sonata bounded into the kitchen. “Good morning, everyone!” she said as she struck a pose, then stopped and peered at Aria chowing down on a raw sirloin steak. “Why is Aria green and eating raw meat?”
“Zombie,” Aria and Adagio said at the same time.
“Oh,” Sonata said as she took a seat at the table. She then looked around. “But don’t you have to die to become a zombie?”
“Not necessarily,” Adagio said as she ladled another spoonful of cereal into her mouth, “oftentimes people become zombies while still alive.”
“But,” Sonata asked, “but wouldn’t that make her undead? Meaning she’s kind of dead already?”
“If you think about it,” Aria said as she finished off the last of the raw flesh, “we’re already kind of undead, having subsisted off of negative energy for so long already.”
“Huh,” Sonata said. She then looked at Aria. “But how did you become a zombie?”
Aria crossed her arms. “No idea. Just woke up like this.”
Sonata frowned. “But wouldn’t that mean that there’s a chance that we could become zombies, Dagi?”
Adagio shrugged as she finished off her cereal and pushed Aria’s bowl towards Sonata. “Probably. It’s best if you don’t think about it too hard, honey.”
Sonata looked down at the bowl of cereal and smiled. “Oooh, corn flakes! My favorite!” she said as she scooped up the cereal in her hand and shoved it into her mouth.
Aria rolled her eyes. “I guess it isn’t any weirder than anything else that’s happened to us recently, is it?”
“Not really, no,” Adagio said as both she and Aria watched Sonata gleefully devour her corn flakes.
