Days of Our Shitposts

by AuTiSm

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Crossover, Human
Length: 507

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A string of unfortunate events leave a group of faggots stranded in the middle of nowhere. By middle of nowhere, I mean Equestria. And by faggots, I mean huge faggots.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-06-11 14:28:50 UTC

You could have stopped this. - Ron Paul 666AD

CastleRock sat on his desk, took a dump, and sat in it. He had finished his daily rounds of being a nuisance, all in all, an average day.

As he got up to prepare grilled pork shit, a traditional finish meal, he noticed something. Flabby was in his kitchen, laying seductively on his table.

“Flabby what the fuck are you doing?” He asked quizzically. Flabby made a smirk so sexy, it could seduce anyone on the planet. Even Castle, who was straight, felt a lump in his pants.

“I’m gathering the faggot guild. We have a mission. You see, Techpriest Shortpilgrim is being a faggot. That may not sound surprising, but wait till you learn that he became such a faggot, he morphed space and time itself to a nipple-twisting black hole that leads to Equestria.” Flabbers got up from the table and glared at Castle with bleak, unending eyes.

“I’m not passing up an opportunity to fuck Gilda. This is what I waited for my entire goddamn life you puny son of a bitch, I fucking need to get my ass in Equestria.” Flabbers said, his sexy, sexy voice seducing Castle

“Anythin’ for you baby.” Replied CastleCock.

~~~~~~

The whole entire group of faggots pooled together, spreading an aura of gayness rivaled only by san fagsisco. Snowdrops techpriest eh stood infront of the dimensional portal to Equestria. The portal was some trippy ass shit, I mean, it fucking glowed all the damn colors of the rainbow and more.

Hallucination looked at the portal and, well, hallucinated. He was officially high as fuck, as he clearly saw that the group was accompanied by three trained Jamaican sumo wrestlers jacking off.

Flabbergasted stepped forward and looked at the portal. “Well, we don’t know if we’ll all suffer a horrible, painful death.  Enigmatic_Quill, you do absolutely nothing but exist in this group. We’ll throw you in the portal and see if you die.” Flabbers said, picking up Enigmatic_Quill and throwing him into the portal. To their surprise, Enigmatic_Quill didn’t shrivel up and die, but arrived at the other end of the portal safely.

“It worked! Now, the rest of you, get lost!” Flabbers said, dismissing the 400+ members who do pretty much nothing in the group.

Kimba, Castle, Flabbergasted, trekee (regrettably lol), Chocoloco, Moonman, Snowdrops techpriest eh, ShardsOfDream, Techpriest Shortpilgrim and some others I probably forgot to add were left alone with the portal.

Flabbergasted ran into the portal eagerly, anxiously anticipating some Gilda pussy. He was followed by the other faggots and soon, they found themselves in the Everfree.

~~~~~~

“Princess Celestia, I’m sensing something horrible!” Twilight said to her mentor. Celestia nodded slowly.

“I sense it too, Equestria is being invaded by a group of low-life faggots. I fear they may be missionaries from The Group Dedicated to Doing Whatever We Want Whenever We Want.” She said, looking at you, the reader, and frowning at your pure homosexuality and lack of life.

“Mobilize the Royal Guard.” Commanded Celestia.