ne'er–do–wells of the night watch.

1 Week later…

Jeremy placed a small orange flower in front of the tombstone. He stood there for a few seconds, then walked back to Mike. “Come on Jeremy.” Mike said as he turned to walk back out onto the streets with Jeremy. Ponies host funeral services really fast. They must've been under pressure due to humans being ‘alien’ to them. Mike zipped up his jacket as this boots crunched in the snow. A designer in the castle had been working hard to make them new clothes. They sat outside a small café on a street corner not far from the graveyard in silence. “So did you change your stance on the situation?” Jeremy sighed and shook his head. “No Mike. We cant go back.” Mike grunted in annoyance. They'd been trying to convince Jeremy that getting sent back home would be better than staying here. They knew nothing about the planet, only knew a few of the ponies and most importantly had nobody else to relate with but each other. “Come on man.” Mike started. “Don’t you miss your other friends? Your job? Having fun? Technology more advanced than potatoes?” Mike asked. Jeremy shook his head again. “It wouldn't be the same. Scott's gone.” Mike nodded. “But wouldn't he want us to be happy? To go back and live our lives with other humans?” Mike asked. Jeremy nodded. “I'll think about it Mike. Just… Please stop asking.” Jeremy said politely. “Alright Jeremy.” A waiter came over shortly, freezing in the uniform issued to all waiters at the café. It clearly wasn't warm enough for the snow. “C-c-can I-I ta-t-take your o-order?” The unicorn chattered between his teeth. “Just a coffee. For both of us.” Mike said. The waiter nodded and quickly ran off, happy to be anywhere but outside or next to the 2 men.

…..

Tuesday. 2:12 PM.

“Ugh.” Chris grunted as he smashed his head on the wooden table, gaining Fritz's attention. “What the hell are you doing Chris?” Fritz said, lowering the sandwich he was eating across the room from his mouth. “ITS SO FUCKING BORING MAN.” Fritz laughed. “I know how you feel.” Fritz said sadly, staring at the lettuce and tomato only sandwich.  Chris shot up, a smile on his face. “I know what we could do!” Fritz looked back over to Chris and raised an eyebrow. “What?” Chris wasted no time getting to the point. Not that any explanation in between was needed. “We could go shoot the AT-ST in the forest!” Fritz sighed. “No Chris. The Princesses said we couldn't fire the AT-ST. Last time we did we blew up the fucking lookout tower on the castle. And besides, the servos are all frozen.” Chris went back to banging his head on the table.

The door burst open and in stomped in Doll. A small grin on her face. “Both of you out.” She said. “Wait wh-“ Fritz never finished due to paper being smushed into his face. Grabbing the paper he read over it quickly. “Oh shit yeah. CHRIS ABANDON SHIP!” The paper flew across the room and slid onto the floor next to Chris. Who took one look at it

‘Anniversary.’

“AWWW FUCK!” Chris yelled as he flip over the desk and ran across the room and jumped through the open window. Luckily he just landed on a royal guard in the courtyard. Doll hopped onto her bed and waited for Mike to show up.

…..

“Jeremy I gotta go…” Mike said, standing up. Jeremy drink any of his coffee. He wasn't in the mood for any. Leaving the tip with Jeremy, he ran off to the castle. Didn't want to keep Doll waiting. It's was their anniversary after all. Running into the castle and disturbing most of the guards, he charged straight for the groups room. Reaching to door he ground Fritz, slumped on the ground outside the door. “Oh damn. You ok Fritz?” Mike asked walking up to him. Fritz was alive but he was terrified of whatever was in there. “What is it bud?” Mike asked, helping Fritz onto his feet. “You picked a good one Mike.” Mike felt confused but Fritz patted him on the back and walked off. “Uh…” Turning the doorknob and peeking inside he noticed the only light in the room em instead from candles lining the walls of the room and… The bed. “Oh please no.” Mike said as he stepped into the room. Once he reached the middle he was poked on the shoulder. Turing to face who it was he only got met with a hard shove into the bed. “OH I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NOW.” Mike yelled right before Doll pounced him.

…..

12:00 PM.

“Poor Mike.” Jeremy said in sadness. Fritz patted him in the back. “Its ok Jeremy. I'm sure he’ll come out good as knew. Maybe ever better.” Fritz whispered. The noises coming out of that room were… Less than ‘good.’ “How long have them been in there?!” Chris asked in astonishment. “Since like… 3 dude. Its insane.” Fritz said. They all sat outside the room against their better judgement. “Why did we sit here. Isn't it weird?” Jeremy asked. “It's better if your closer to pray for the health of Mike and his boy parts.” Chris said. “God rest his wiener.” They placed their hands together and said in unison; “Amen.”

….

3:21 AM. Wednesday.

“Dear god.” Chris said. Jeremy and Fritz were dead basically in the middle of the room. The horror of Mike and Doll’s anniversary being too much for them to handle. Chris could handle it, having been both genders. “I better sleep.” Chris said, curling into the fetal position and falling asleep.

…..

Skeletons in night watch hats laid against the wall, when the door finally opened. Doll walked out, as if nothing ever happened. The skeletons quickly turned back into Fritz, Chris and Jermey once more. They looked back at the open door and awaited Mike to come out. I after an hour or so, he hobbled out of the room. His eyes told the whole story. He looked as if he single handily won the Vietnam war white riding a tiger that was trying to kill him while disarming a nuclear bomb during a goddamn lunar eclipse. He dropped jaw first onto the marble floor. The group ran over to him, picked him up and ran him into the bathroom. Pouring a bottle of 5 hour energy the got out of god-knows-where down his throat and grabbing some food they also stuffed it down his throat, brushed his hair and teeth and threw him down the stairs and took him back to bed. All in under 5 seconds.

…..

“So, you're all ready to leave?” The princess asked the group standing before her. They all nodded and the princess became saddened. “I understand your time in Equestria has been brief and filled with loss, but please understand we never wanted anything bad to happen to any of you.” Mike stepped forward. “It's okay Princess. We’ll still give you a 5 star rating on Yelp.” Jeremy and Fritz laughed. “Hey Mike. That was pretty…” Jeremy tried not to laugh before finishing his pun. “… Horse.” Mike sighed. “Jeremy stop.” The princess casted a spell and opened up a large black doorway. The group lined up and faced into the doorway. Turning around they saw all the ponies they had met thus far. The Elements. The alien museum ponies and the Princesses. Twilight even had wings now! Woot. “So, what are you gonna do with Freddy’s?” Mike asked the Princess. She shrugged. “Not sure. Hire employees?” Mike shrugged. “Sure.” Turning to face the group again he saw a ghost version of Scott waving bye. The group waved and turned to face to portal. “That was a nice vacation don’t you guys think?” Doll asked. “Yeah.” Was the bland response from everyone. Stepping into the portal, everything went black.

…..

Mike woke up in the office chair behind the desk in the office. Looking to his left, was Jeremy, who looked to him and smiled. To their right was Scott. “Ha ha!” He laughed. “I'm not dead anymore!” He yelled to the two. Leaning into the door was Fritz. “Hey guys. OH SHIT SCOTT!” Fritz yelled in happiness. The group hug happened and was nice. They weren't in pony land anymore. Back on the real earth.

“Hello mom! Hello dad!” Cherry Bomb went off in Mike’s pocket. Taking out his phone he answered. “Hey Mike.” Mike smiled. “Hey Doll.” A second pause Doll talked back into the phone. “Could you pick up some milk on your way home?” Mike laughed.

“Sure Doll.”

But was it really over? Yeah I guess. But nothing ever over until the person writing the story comes up with a good way to make an ending and not laying in his bed at 2:12 AM writing a story on his goddamn phone. So, yeah.

SUPER AWETHORZZZ NOTES:

So that was it. Boom. Short ass chapter for a shitty ending.

Yeah, I wrote this whole story on my IPod. It was just a side thing. But thank you guys so much! The support you guys said and the feedback you left helped, now I never meant to correct anything. but the sequel -Holy Shit- will be more professionally written with each chapter being more than 500 fucking words. And not on an IPod. So keep your eyes out in like a few weeks for…

SOME SHIT WITH THE SAME TITLE.

SCOTT IS OBI-WAN AT THE END OF STAR WARS.

PRESS X TO PAY MIKES BOY PARTS RESPECT.

( YEE sex was implied )

“Bye.” – Sloopity Doopity 2015