Steve Irwin the Corcobear Hunter

by ChaosAngel

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Adventure
Length: 1021

Join the great pony hunter Steve Irwin on his quest across Equestria in search of rare animals.

Steve Irwin the great pony has one goal in mind, and that's to see all the animals in Equestria. From where they sleep and eat to where they breed and die. Join him as he embarks on his great journey and learns the secrets of the animals.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-05-06 00:14:02 UTC

Diamond Body Snake

Today on the discovery channel we have Steve Irwin, then Top Ten Most Amazing and later Equestria's funniest home videos

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Equestraila outback, the sun is shining brightly, various animals are running by either hunting or being hunted and a Unicorn with a camera is filming an Earth Pony who is hiding behind a bush. The Earth Pony was a beige color and had a short mane and tail both dirty blonde his cutie mark was of a Crocobear. The Earth Pony turned towards the camera and spoke in a Equestralian (Australian) accent.

"G'day mates it's me Steve Irwin and today we're gonna be looking for one of Equestraila's rarest snakes in this outback. The great Diamond Body Snake. Now come one we haven't got all day." Steve picks him self up and begins to run through the vast outback to a location that either he knows about or just a random one all together.

The two pony crew soon find themselves standing in front of many jagged rocks lain out all over the place.

"This is it," Steve said with a smile on his face, he turned towards the camera and pointed a hoof out to the rocks. "This is the natural habitat of the Diamond Body Snake, now let's see if we can spot on of those little buggers." Steve makes his way over the first rock closest to him and begins to search around it even lifting it up, with no luck he moves over to the next one repeating the same process with no luck. "Seems like they all up an left on us before," Something catches Steve's eye as he was talking and he quickly heads over to investigate."Ah, I found one, and he's a beaut isn't he!?" Steve motions for the camera pony to get a close up on the snake that's slithering across the sand.

The snake is a black color and looks like several diamonds linked together to form it's body, the tips of each diamond touching made up the body with a hole between each kinda like a diamond chain, there were 5 holes for each base. Steve moves a hoof to the snake that stood up on it's body and began to hiss at him.

"You see that!? He's gone into his defensive stance trying to look big and nasty to frighten me off." The snake begins to lean to the left and right slowly while keeping eye contact. "Now he's getting a fix on my size to see where he should strike in case I try to attack." Steve moves a hoof closer to the snake making it focus on the hoof as Steve moved his other one behind the snake and grabbing it by the base of his mouth.

"Gotcha now." Steve picks the snake up supporting its body with his other hoof as he held the mouth closed. "Look here at the body, you see how his scales are starting to stand up. He uses his scales to scrape the roof of his predators mouth as the eat him causing them pain so they will spit him back out. Now if we take a look at his under belly," Steve flips the snake over. "You'll see that it's a slightly different color then his back. Now I'm gonna put him back down and we're gonna follow him to watch him hunt." Steve sets the snake down, it gives him an irritated look and slithers off in search of food. Both ponies follow behind it slowly as to not alarm the snake nor any would be prey for the snake.

After several minuets of tracking the snake spots it's first prey, a simple desert mouse scurrying across the sand. "Look carefully at the snake, you see how it's standing up? Thats a sign that it's scanning the area looking for any other predators after his meal." The snake lowers its self and slowly makes it's way to the mouse moving slower when it gets within striking distance. "Here it comes the strike." The snake lunges at the mouse with mouth wide open grabbing the mouse by it's side. The mouse began to squirm trying to free its self, but the snakes grip was tightening. "See those powerful jaws? The Diamond Body uses them to break the bones of it's prey making escape harder for them and it's long fangs to release a powerful toxin the stops the heart within seconds." After the mouse stopped squirming the snake began to swallow its meal whole.

"That was a great show but it looks like our friend is off to hunt some more and we need to get moving to our next animal. The Chinpider of the Viney forest."

With a spell from his camera pony, Steve and the Unicorn find themselves in the middle of the Viney forest. "Here we are the Viney forest, the say this forest has been around since the rise and fall of the great mother Gaia. This forest is home to thousands of animals but today we're looking for 1 and we'll start right after these commercials.

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"Hello mare's, look at your stallion, now back to me, now back to your stallion, now back to me. Sadly he isn't me but if he stopped using mare scented body washes and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like me. Look down. Back up. Where are you? You're on a boat with the stallion your stallion could smell like. What's in your hoof? Back at me. I ha-

*Click*

"Alright I'm gonna get a snack while these commercials pass, you two want anything?"

["Get me a turkey sandwich with pepper jack cheese."]

<" I want ham on rye, and a bottle of Dr. Feather.">

Well I wrote this bomb because I wanted to write about the animals of Equestria and had no way to start it so I thought. "Why not Steve Irwin?" I know he's dead and we all loved him so I didn't have a choice he ad to be used. Only Steve can do to animals what Fluttershy can.