Hail Science

by Woobaloo

Rating: mature
Tags: Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Human, Comedy
Length: 12895

Scientist Jeffery Adams has created a way to travel between different universes, until he found a way to mess it up. Now, much to his own despair, he has to deal with some insane ponies that will not sit down, and be still.

Through the arcane arts of science bullshit, Jeffery has found out how to travel to other universes or some shit like that. But, what do you know? It backfired horribly, cuz science is a little bitch. Now, he has to deal with a few technicolor equines that annoy the daylights out of him.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-09 03:05:36 UTC

SCIENCE

SCIENCE

The world always called me foolish, hopeless, and worthless. Pretty much every rude word that ended with -less, but I said, "Fuck you in your little petite asshole, nerd," and went about my business of creating the new era of humanity!

By myself...

It hurt not to have any friends willing to join me on this spectacular adventure, but I didn't care. They wouldn't be claiming royalty rights for my creation and all the funds would go to me! Then, I fill their pools with beautiful cash and go for a swim as they weep on their deck. I'll probably be kicked out, but oh well. I'll still be richer and better.

Now, why would people call me insane and delusional and those very rude -less words? Well, it is because I am creating Universal Leaping Machine! (name still in progress. Copyright 2074) Of course, I have made astounding progress and have nearly finished after 25 years of not seeing my family, which disowned me after 10 years of absence... BUT! They'll crawling back to me soon enough. Just as I did when crawled back to them asking for money. They didn't cooperate with me, so I stole the money. That's mainly why they disowned me...

Anyways! I have nearly finished with my U.L.M! As a matter of fact, I could very well use right now; except I may be dropped off at a trans-dimensional vortex that ceases my existence which would put quite a dent in the project's progression... So I have decided to find a test subject! But, there's really no one that would do it so there's that problem. The year is 2074 and yet you can never find any scientific radicals anymore...

A shame really...

No matter!  I can find something that mimics life to go into the U.L.M. But not any animals. They're too adorable to send into possible non-existence. Well, except maybe cats. They never seemed to like me...

Oh well, I see no harm in testing it out myself actually. The main concern is obviously being thrown into non-existence and all that shit but the other concern is that I can't predict or even know what universe I'll be transferring myself to, if that happens. I could end in the Skyrim or Fallout universe! Though, I don't know long I'd survive in the Fallout universe, especially if I was transported to when the bombs dropped or into Deathclaw Sanctuary... That would be extremely troublesome... But, I'm getting off track here.

The time is now! For science and the new era of humanity, I flip the switch!

Well, I was expecting more of a big, huge fanfare I guess. All it did was spark to life... I need to add a fanfare for when this thing turns on...

Time to venture forth in the vast unknown and possible non-existence! I clamored up and through the portal, only to be shot back like a little bitch.  It was extremely painful and unexpected...

Needless to say, I was furious. The damn thing failed me! I hyped it more than Call of Duty: Ghosts was! A bitter disappointment but it was strange, since the damned thing stayed on. So why the ever-living fuck did it blow me backwards! I decided to calmly fix it with a baseball bat, only to hear strange voices on the other side of the portal... Have I transported something here? Did I actually prove my mother wrong in her saying I would amount to nothing by following this?  Can't wait to shove the money down her throat if I did...

I checked around the portal, finding an assload of nothing. That killed every shred of hope in me, since the voices were on the other side of the machine. But, they were still here! Just on the side I was originally on! And it was such bullshit when I found a great big pile of nothing on the other side...but the voices were still here! They're probably stuck in the portal like some absolute imbecile who couldn't pour water out of a boot with the instructions on the heel... That thought made me realize that whatever came out of the portal wasn't very intelligent...

After sitting in the lab for a hopeless 30 minutes, I went upstairs to grab some popcorn and a beverage. It didn't matter if whatever was inside the portal had any intellect, it was still terrestrial life. Meaning BIG bucks! So, I was determined to do what did for most of my childhood. Sit on a couch, eating food and drinking pop while watching a projection on a flat surface.

After running out of popcorn and pop, I fell asleep. I hated naps. When would I wake up? In five minutes? 30? An hour? Eight hours? Five years? I would never know. But now, something was off... Apparently, something entered the lab and fucked up the place by leaving my tools strewn all over, or I went on a sleep adventure acting like I was Godzilla. Both had a terror within me, more so the unknown assailant entering and messing up the lab rather than Godzilla Jeffery... Mostly because I could hear very distinct voices from somewhere in the room... Feminine too...I probably embarrassed myself when they first saw me with an empty bowl of popcorn and sleeping on a desk, with drool most likely included.

I snapped up from the desk and looked around. I saw something whoosh under the table nearest to the portal... I was terrified, in all honesty. It wasn't human-like, whatever that thing was. I could tell that it was vibrant with color, as if the color of a rainbow. Did I transport creatures from the fucking Rainbow Universe or some shit? That'd be a blast to my lesbian sister... Not that I had a problem with it though! Don't get me wrong! I fully support her and she's the only one who still talks to me in my family...

Well, that was a little bit of unneeded information...

Anyways, back to me being terrified of a rainbow creature hiding behind a desk. I, being all so logical, did nothing but cower behind the desk I slept upon, sneaking the occasional glance above the desktop. This time, I spotted something... floofy? It was one solid color, that I could tell. It was a light red... maybe pink? That did squander my thoughts of transporting the inhabitants of the Rainbow Universe. Sorry sis...

I had to do something. I would starve or dehydrate if I just hid behind the desk for the remainder of my life. The thought soon struck me. I was a top-notch scientist that was just willing to jump into non-existence and now I couldn't face a rainbow-colored and one other pink-colored creature?!  Boy, was I ever so controversial about myself...

I did another peek above the desktop, spotting something...standing, I guess? It was fairly short and showed a bright white skin color with a purple tail and...mane? The fuck was this? A fucking horse? No, it couldn't be horse. It was much too small. It was a pony. Fan-fucking-tastic. I transported an already known species here except it had a different colorization to it. Wonderful. I'll definitely be receiving the big bucks from this discovery...

My fear had utterly washed away now. Whatever was in there, hiding behind desks, were just ponies. Nothing harmful and definitely not intelligent enough to resist anything I did to throw them back into the portal. So, Experiment One had been a failure. Great. That certainly put a damper on my day...

"Howdy!"

I whipped around and screamed, my fear returning ever so quickly. An orange pony with a fucking cowboy hat was crouching behind me, giving me a weird stare. I pushed the desk away and gave a little shove to the pony before bolting for the stairs. I realized that whatever the fuck universe I had just transferred that thing from had enough sense of mind to speak, then again...I did hear their voices...contradicting myself yet again...

When I reached the top of the stairs, I looked back down. Two purple eyes were staring confusedly up at me from the bottom. Yelping, I slammed shut the door and took a chair from the kitchen to prop up against the door handle. It quickly came to mind that they're ponies, meaning they had hooves, in return meaning that they shouldn't have the power to open doors... Except, thinking about the white pony I saw...the damn thing had a horn...

Could they levitate items? Through doors or walls? If so, that door handle and chair were useless... Wait...could they teleport? They wouldn't even need levitation if they got that shit going for them! I wasn't safe anywhere in this house! I was trapped by fucking equines! Ponies! Why was I so terrified of ponies?! It made no damn sense! I reassured myself that the reason behind it is because it's a new thing. A very strange and new thing. I just wasn't ready...but I am now.

I made for the door to the stairs. It was obvious they hadn't made an attempt to open it, since nothing seemed off about the door. Perhaps they went back into the portal. Nah, they wouldn't do that. They've proven curious of their new surroundings... Anyways, I pulled the chair out from the under the door handle and creaked open the door, immediately slamming it shut after spotting a pair of magenta eyes glaring from the crack.

"Fuck!" I yelled, louder than my intentions. I sat, still beating myself up over the fact I was cowering from goddamn ponies, until I heard a knock on the door, followed by a voice.

"You know, it's not nice to keep ponies locked up in your weird sciency area!" I huffed and got up, pinning my shoulder against the door. I had no response that wouldn't be classified as extremely rude and explicit, so I remained silent. If ya got nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all, right?

"Just...stay down there! I don't want trouble or any of your magic!" I yelled back. No response came, but I could hear something like clopping getting further away. Had she listened? (I had determined the voice of the asker to be feminine) My answer soon came as I heard the noise again, only getting closer.

"I'm sorry if we startled you, but we would never use our magic against a random human." This voice was more smooth and convincing than the other one. The other had a tomboyish feeling to it...though the thing that had me confused and a bit terrified is that she knew what I was...

"How do you know about humans?" I questioned, pressing my ear lower on the door since the pony was just above half my height.

"Oh! Princess Celestia had sent me to the human world a while back! I've been studying them for quite some time after!" Princess? In their universe, they had form of government? Strange... Maybe they aren't so imbecilic as I thought... "Um...would you mind opening the door, please? Sorry to say, but this laboratory you have isn't exactly welcoming..."

There wasn't exactly harm in doing so... I could tell from the mare's (mare is female for horse... or else I'm pretty sure. My knowledge on equines wasn't the best) voice that she meant no harm and was honest. "Fine! I'll open the door," I said, slowly twisting the door handle. I was hesitant still, for I didn't know how the ponies would react. I knew there was at least four, but there might be more...I opened the door and looked down the stairs.

Five ponies stood on the stairs, looking up at me, though I could make out a yellow pony hiding behind some boxes near the end of the stairs. There was the rainbow one, which had wings?! There were pegasi among them?! That would fetch a nice pri-wait...I had a feeling in my gut that I simply couldn't hand them over for cash...

"Hey! I'm glad you decided to open the door! Allow us to introduce ourselves! I'm Twilight Sparkle!" She had a purple coat with differentiating shades of violet streaking in her tail and mane. Strangely enough, she had a horn and wings...

"The name's Rainbow Dash!" She was the rainbow one I caught while peeking above the desk earlier. Her coat however, was different. She had a light blue coat, and I also recognized her as the one who was staring at me from the crack in the door earlier...

"My name's Pinkie Pie!" She was lively, I could already tell. She was hopping up and down, and had a floofy tail and mane. The one I spotted after seeing Rainbow Dash's tail... She had bright blue eyes and a lighter pink for her coat than her tail and mane were.

"Pleasure t' meet ya! Name's Applejack!" She was the one I had shoved in my process of escaping the basement. Her tail and mane were a blonde color, but she did have admittedly shocking green eyes. Also, she definitely had a notable southern accent. After her introduction, there were two ponies left.

"I hope to make your acquaintance, dear. My name is Rarity." She was the one that I saw earlier, giving me the idea of them being ponies. Her eyes were a mixture of dark and light blue, but I couldn't make it out since she was at the bottom of the stairs.

The last one was refusing to move from her hiding place, giving me the impression that she was extremely shy. "C'mon Fluttershy! It's not cool to just hide while we're introducing ourselves," Rainbow Dash said, trying to persuade her friend to come out from the behind the boxes.

"It's fine," I said. "You'll all be returning to your universe soon enough anyways." I couldn't bring myself to say that I had the intention of selling them to top-research labs. Twilight, the leader of the group as from what I've inferred, gave me a nervous and sorry look.

"About that...the portal we came in...I don't think it's operational anymore..." My heart skipped a beat.

"Excuse me?" I asked slowly. I had spent 20 fucking years working on that shit! Twilight hung her head in shame.

"When we got out, it made a weird pop noise and turned off. I tried to fix it but I don't have any idea how human technology works..."  I groaned and her ears went. That little action and the expression on her face actually made me feel bad...

"I can fix it...I'll just need time..." I assured her, mainly to keep her from feeling bad. It made me feel bad, and as a scientist I'm not supposed to give a fuck about others. Only science and progression. At least that's what my mentor had taught me... "Why don't you guys come upstairs?" I glanced at the window, seeing night had fallen. "I guess I'll have to find someplace for you all to sleep as well.." My house wasn't exactly the mansion I deserved, but it was big enough to house them and me until I fixed the Universal Leaping Machine. I couldn't bring myself to tell them I had the intention of selling them off...

I brought them all further upstairs until we reached the guest bedroom, which hasn't been used since 20 years ago. Don't worry, I kept the house clean and dandy so it wasn't like an old house that went to waste 20 years ago. "You'll all be sleeping in here," I told them as I opened the door. "Don't keep me up and the bathroom is down to the left. Sleep well." I left to the room and nearly closed the door when I heard the rainbow pony's voice.

"What's gonna be for breakfast?" I sighed and hung my head. I forgot I had to actually care for them and it would damn rude not to at least feed them...

"You'll find out in the morning. Now go to sleep!" I closed the door and walked tiredly down to my room. I was in a whole heap of trouble. I had six fucking ponies to take care of and I don't get anything in return. My machine backfired and broke down, making it so I couldn't just retry without spending more money to fix it. I just hoped I wasn't stuck with this bunch for the remainder of my life. I'd be driven to insanity...

A Day in the Life of Ponies

I was awoken, rather unpleasantly might I add, by the clanging of pots and pans in the kitchen. It's not a nice sound to be your wake-up call, especially when you only got two hours of fucking sleep due to girlish giggles and the obnoxious pillow fight being valiantly fought. Once the fight and giggles died down, I could hear some very...unsettling noises... Ones unsettling enough for me to not get up and bitch them out about it...

I sat up in my bed and groaned. I was not ready for this shit. I was half-asleep and pissed-off, not the mood you want to be in when you have to deal with six annoying ponies...

So I decided to take a shower, the place where everyone's mind is as clear as day.

After getting into the warm embrace of my shower, I covered my face in my hands and sat in the corner. I remained like this for some time; part of me refusing to believe I had to watch six ponies while trying to fix my Universal Leaping Machine, which I had no idea the damage done to it. For all I know, the portal's very core had been shattered trying to transport six equines into my world. That would be the end of my hopes of fixing it, since there was no way I was getting my hands on something like that again. Not without professional assistance and I didn't have the way for that again.

So, I prayed that it was an easy fix and this rowdy group can be out of here by tomorrow. Though, knowing my tremendous luck, I was stuck with these gals for another month or year or even a lifetime.

My eyes began to droop as I sat in the corner of the shower, making me realize how soothing the sound of flowing water and the bathroom fan mixed together was. The noise from my kitchen was being drowned out and I was in complete bliss. I gave into the sweet loving grasp of sleep, and laid my head back against my hand towel.

***

Once again, I awoke in an unpleasant state. The heat of my shower seemed to flown south for the winter, bringing me to Arctic Circle while doing so. I leaped up and nearly smashed the door to my shower trying to not be turned into an ice Popsicle. Unfortunately for me, outside was no different. Getting out of that shower was just another ring of Hell, because I was hurled back into Antarctica.

This is how I die. Naked, afraid, and freezing my ass off in my bathroom only to be found my six curious ponies wondering where I'd gone.

Of course, I loved being over-dramatic.

I grabbed my towel and wrapped myself in it, huddling myself into the fetal position to conserve body heat. My day was already off to a splendid start.

Then, thanks to the blessing of God, the bathroom door fucking opened, revealing a rainbow-maned pegasus. Her eyes grew wide as she saw me sitting on the ground; her expression soon followed by the face of one hiding laughter. Eventually, she couldn't hold it in, collapsing onto the ground as she laughed at my misery.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" I finally managed to yell, regaining my wits. Rainbow tried answering through her laughter, but kept breaking into a new fit whenever she glanced at me. I just thanked God I had a towel...

"I-I ca-came to-" she tried explaining, managing to get a few comprehensible words out.

"Get the hell out! You don't enter a bathroom while somebody's in here! Holy shit..." I was trying to think of some sort of insult, but I couldn't since my brain was frozen solid. After another 10 seconds of gut-busting laughter, she finally stumbled up onto her hooves and trotted away, snickering the entire time as she made her way back to the kitchen. In truth, watching her trot away stirred something in me, and not something I'd like to admit.

All I knew was that now, I had no courage to get dressed and go down to the kitchen. This was my most embarrassing moment for the past 20 years, and it stung. I was supposed to be a top-notch scientist, the one who created a portal device thingy and I was being mortally embarrassed by ponies, and a rainbow one at that...

"You coming down for breakfast, deary?" Only one of them says that, and it was Rarity. At least she had enough proper manners to not barge into the bathroom with I was in the nude. I got up and began to dress, replying with the nicest answer I could muster at this point. To recap, I gotten a maximum of three hours of sleep, was nearly thrown into Ice Hell by my shower, and then I was embarrassed by a rainbow-haired flying pony.

Man, if only I had any friends left to tell this to...

I finished dressing and brushing my teeth and headed for the kitchen. I stopped to get a glimpse of their room. To my surprise, the bed was made and the floor clear of any debris. So, they cleaned up after themselves. Good. I wouldn't have to be babysitting them all day while attempting to fix my U.L.M.

I reached the door to the kitchen, resting my hand on the doorknob. I realized this would be my life until I fixed the machine, if I even could...

***

"Good morning!" they all chanted in unison as I opened the door. It was loud enough to have woken me up completely if the shower and Rainbow hadn't already done that. I nodded my head at them and did a quick sweep of the room. No pans or pots laying everywhere and no broken glasses and plates...huh...

"If yer wonderin' why ter ain't a mess, it's cuz of Twilight," Applejack explained in her southern drawl. I nodded my head slowly, my mouth conjuring up a little grin. I turned to face them.

"So you all took care of all your messes then? Good. That tells me I shouldn't have to have a constant eye on you guys," I said, slipping a smirk onto my face.

"Oh, you don't have to worry about that. We're perfectly capable of taking care of ourselves. We even made you breakfast!" Twilight exclaimed, pointing a hoof at a plate of eggs and melted cheese on bread. Herbivores, I remembered. Ponies don't eat meat. I wonder how they would react if I cooked bacon...

"What're we doing today, mister?" asked Pinkie Pie, jumping up from her seat and onto the floor, trotting over to me. I hadn't really considered doing anything with them. I planned to work on the portal all day, trying to get them back home. But, I could make all this worth my while. Besides, this is one of the first times in a loooong time I've had any type of company...

"I haven't decided yet," I said, sitting down and sliding the breakfast over to me. Pinkie tilted her head and looked at me expectantly, most likely trying to figure out the options of what we could do. Admittedly, very adorable. But I could resist such cuteness attacks. I was a heartless and bitter scientist after all!

"Well, maybe we could try helping you with the machine thingy," Rainbow suggested, lazily eating her breakfast. I hadn't expected one of them to bring up the portal, but I guess they didn't want to be here and would rather be back home. Honestly, it did have a bit of a sting on me. I easily brushed it aside, telling myself that I have work to do and that valuable time can't be spent with colorful equines.

"Yeah. That's what we're going to do. We'll fix it up and get you guys home." I felt a sense of relief and...sadness. None of them objected to it, meaning that I would have tons of help fixing it, but also that they didn't want to be here... Truth be told, they were day brighteners at some points. Not all, but at some...

***

We started working on the portal, looking into it's inner workings. Twilight was the only one remotely interested in the device, while the others did the occasional pickup run for parts or tools. Fine with me, considering Twilight was the only one who seemed to have knowledge of science.

"In all honesty, I don't know what I'm doing here..." she sighed. She had a disheartened look etched on her face. Dammit, it was bringing me one step down...

"Don't worry about it. It's very complex stuff. Besides, it's nice having someone help me out." That last little phrase was supposed to stay in my mind, but it slipped out. Twilight's ears perked up a tad bit and she gave me a curious look. I began to feel my hardened cute-resistant scientist shell crack.

"Huh...Fluttershy? Can you bring us a flashlight?" Twilight asked, turning towards her winged friend. Fluttershy nodded and trotted off to look for one. I turned to give Twilight a questioning look.

"Why do we need a flashlight?" I asked. I didn't see a necessary use for one right now...

"The batteries on your electric screwdriver are running low," she answered, eyeing the control panel of the portal. Remembering how she's studied human life, she knows what batteries and electric shit is. The others most likely wouldn't.

As we waited for Fluttershy's return, Twilight began her interrogation.

"Sooooo, do you really want to rebuild the portal?" I looked up from my inspection of the outer core, which didn't look so good, to look at her. She had a strange look in her eyes...as if she wanted a specific answer, to which I had none. I did the infamous glance-around-the-room-hoping-to-buy-time-and-get-an-answer trick and I stopped at every one of the five others. They were all playing a game, while Fluttershy searched for the flashlight. (It struck me she might not know what one is) All of them looked so adorable and, and...

My outer shell snapped through the center.

"I-I don't know..." I whispered. Twilight leaned in and eyed me curiously. Her ears were being held at the most scientifically adorable angle. "What about you?" I asked her, trying to relieve some of my pressure. She glanced downwards and gave a cute little smile. Fuck.

"I-"

"Twilight! I found it!" Fluttershy interrupted, holding the flashlight in her hooves. What do ya know? She actually found it.

"Oh..." she trailed off. There was a sense of disappointment in her voice, causing me to feel a little bad. Did she not want to go back home? I don't know what she saw here. One guy who's been alone and working in his basement for the past 20 years. That's all there was to me and this house.

I glanced down at my watch. 8:30 pm. I sighed, setting down the screwdriver and other tools I was utilizing. "Time for bed!" I shouted, catching everyone's attention. The others grumbled and murmured but got up and started trotting for the stairs, but Twilight stayed behind.

"Now don't keep me up all night like you did last time!" I called after them.

"Yeah, yeah!" called the tomboyish voice of Rainbow back. I smiled a bit and look at Twilight. She was obviously tired.

"Why don't you join your friends?" I asked her. She looked up at me with a tired expression, giving me that little smile again.

"I'm not tired," she stated blandly. Mhm. Sure you're not. There's was another reason as to why she was staying here. Giving her a disbelieving look, she caved. "I want to help you finish this, since that's what you want..." she whispered, letting her ears fall down. Neh shit. She'd already dealt serious blows to my outer shell, but now she's just throwing flames onto flames.

"Ok, look. One: You need to stop that ear shit. It's way too adorable. Second: I don't if I can even fix this thing. The outer core is fucked and it's preventing me from getting to see the inner core. Third: I don't want you guys to..." I quickly stopped there, but Twilight heard. Shit in the motherfucking dick, I need to keep my mouth shut some times.

Needless to say, she did that ear thing again and she got a bit excited, but yet didn't say anything. She smiled and got up, turning to trot away. I watched her, but she then did something I would never, in a million years, forget.

She flicked her tail up, revealing something I had burned into my mind for the remainder of the night. Something that had strangely...aroused me...

Oh fuck....

The Heat of a Twilight's Star [CLOP]

What the fuuuuck

Wh-why?! Why would she do that? Why in the living Hell would she do that?! She even gave me a perverted smile!

Nononononono. This is just a dream. Or rather a nightmare. But....why did I find it...arousing? She's a fucking pony for Christ's sake! That shit ain't natural. I ain't havin' that shit! I am having zero of that shit! All I could do was stare at the stairs and wonder what the fuuuck? I am conflicted, I am confused, and most disappointingly aroused. I-I d-don't know... What the fuck?

I just have to settle down, and be in zen. Complete zen. I closed my eyes and just.... fucking saw her over and over. Zen is not working. I am not in zen! I can't be in zen in moment like this. It's arousing and it's confusing. Fuck.

I got up and walked towards the stairs. I've had enough. I'm going to bed and I'll confront the lil' shit tomorrow. Maybe it was a reflex, ya know? Like, sometimes the horse does the flick of a tail and it's never intentional. It's just something that happens without control...but the smile! The fucking perverted smile meant that her intentions were to flick her tail up and reveal her...nether regions... FUCK!

After climbing the stairs, I went to the kitchen and got a glass of water and splashed it on my face. I needed to sleep and I needed to just think this over. It's not like anything was/is going to happen. I'm not fucking her. Fuck that. N-no. Don't fuck that I mean, just, fuck. No. Shit. Yeah. Shit that. Good enough.

I picked up the dish towel and went to wipe my face clean of water, only to put a blinding sting of soap into my eyes. I had forgotten that I did the dishes earlier today....

While fighting through blindness and pain, I managed my way up the stairs and to the hallway that led to their bedroom and mine. Twilight was inside now, and I could hear giggling. Being the ever-so curious person I am, I decided to put an ear up to the door, hoping to figure out what the hell they talk about.

"-actually flicked your tail up? Damn, Twi!" Oh my fucking God....

"Mhm. I think he liked it too," Twilight boasted confidently. Fucking Hell, she was telling all her damned friends!

"But Twilight, that is very rude of you! He's trying to help us get back home and you're teasing him! He's a human, anyways. No way he'd be interested in that kind of stuff with a pony!" Rarity exclaimed. Though I obviously couldn't see her expression, I was hoping it was a disappointed one. Perhaps it was Rarity who had the most common sense...

"Oh, Rarity. I know that..." Twilight said, with a tinge of disappointment. "It's just that we happened to get trapped here while I was near...heat..." Heat? The fuck was that excuse? I could be sweating up a storm but I won't get horny off of it.

"Ohhhh, that does explain a lot..." Rainbow said, trailing off. Still, it did not explain a lot. I whipped out my phone and searched "pony heat" 'cause why the fuck not? This was obviously a big thing to them.

Well shit. Basically, "heat" for animals would be a time of extreme desire to mate. That would mean she needed a mate and I was the only male around. But, she'll have to wait it out. I'm not fucking a pony. That was against my values and against the law. Bestiality and all that shit...

"Welp, seein' as that th' case, ya'll be hopin' he's willin' ta help." Oh, fuck you Applejack. I mean that as an insult, not a sexual manner.

"I don't know though...he is a human and I'm a pony..." Holy shit, how'd you get to that solution? "But, maybe he could make an exception..." HA! Keep dreaming. I ain't doing shit with you. Not a fucking chance.

I've had enough of this. I walked down to my bedroom and closed the door, locking it behind me. I didn't need her sneaking up on me in the middle of the night...

I was awoken to the sound of something knocking on wood. I sat up and looked at the clock. It read 3:27 AM. The knocking continued, and I quickly figured out it was my door. They must need something if they have to wake me up so early...

I got out of bed and put on some pajamas. Then, I asked through the door, "Who is it?"

"It's me...Twilight..." She sounded almost kinda depressed...but if she was...I couldn't just leave her out there...I did have somewhat of a heart for depressed people. Then again, she was also in heat...

"What do you need?" I asked simply, not wanting to open the door just yet. I heard her sigh.

"I...just need to come in...please?" Her voice was calming and I felt a twinge of sadness from her depressed tone. Knowing her, she probably had her ears down in that adorable position again...

Now it was my turn to sigh. Hopefully, she wouldn't just jump on top of me and fuck me senseless. Even as all powerful and strong I might be, her magic would prove challenging to overcome. "Alright..." I said, reluctantly opening the door. As I had thought, her ears were down in the position and she was looking at the floor. She did, however, seem very tense... "Come on in..." I whispered now, not wanting to wake the others. She trotted in and jumped up on my bed, laying down. "What are you doing?" I asked suspiciously.

She looked up and gave me a half-smile. "I had a horrible dream and I wanted to see you..." Uh huh. Sure ya did. However, I wasn't just going to send her out because she could be telling the truth.

"Alright. You can sleep in here, but only for tonight," I told her, getting into bed once again. "And don't try anything, Miss Heat." She glanced at me strangely and smiled.

"Sorry about that...." she whispered. I wanted to say it's fine, but I didn't want to imply anything...

She lay her head down on a clump of blankets and closed her eyes. Honestly, she looked adorable while sleeping; her chest slowly rising and falling, her ears down and mane and tail sprawled out on the bed cover...

I couldn't take it. I snatched her up, earning a shocked gasp, and brought her in close to me. She giggled and nuzzled into my chest. "You know, you make yourself out to be a mean person...but you're really not," she whispered into my ear. How she ever knew how I viewed myself, I'd never know. It was creepy to say the least, since I always presented myself with confidence and not self-loathing. Then again, I didn't know the power of a pony with wings and a horn. She could read minds for I all know.

"Tell me about your universe," I said, no longer feeling the slightest dreary. She scooted back on the bed and rolled over to face me.

"My universe isn't anything special. There are four princesses who kinda control Equestria. My teacher and her sister, Celestia and Luna, are the ones everypony knows about. The sister-in-law Princess Cadance sees over the Crystal Empire. I'm....just the princess of friendship. Celestia and Luna are the sun and moon, and Cadance is love. They're a lot more important than me...." she finished sadly. I felt a bit of sadness wash over me.

"Oh, they wouldn't make you a princess if you were any less important. They obviously needed you..." I assured her. She smiled and nuzzled my chest again.

"Thank you..." she whispered. "And I mean it. You could have left us to figure out our way back home, but you decided to take care of us. Even though it's only been two days...it's meant a lot to us..." That was an extreme confidence booster to say the least. "And what I did earlier in the lab..." Oh no... "it was a sign of affection. Sure, heat had something to do with it, but I also want to repay you for what you've done for us..." Errr, I didn't like where this was going..."So you'll let me do that...right?" And there it was, but I didn't really think it would be as shocking as it was...

"I, uh..." I tried to say, but not being able to form any words. She put on her smile and started moving under the covers.

"Uh, Twi- ahh..." I could my pajama bottom being slipped off, and something stroking me in places I wouldn't like stroked by a pony...

Her wings unfolded and blew the sheets off the bed, leaving me stranded in a T-shirt and my underwear with a bulge I hated to admit was caused by Twilight.

"It seems like you don't mind it..." she breathed lustfully, a field of magic surrounding my underwear. Slowly, inch by inch, they were removed, my dick flopping out as the waistband passed over. "Ahhhh...it's bigger than I expected..." Expected? Motherfucker expected me to be small? That's very discouraging. Also, expected? Again? Meaning she's thought about this before? I wonder how these two days have been for her...

"Twilight..." I moaned. She grinned and gave the tip a little lick, causing me to gasp. It certainly was a delightful sensation. Her tongue was rough but not too rough to the point that it felt like wet sandpaper grinding on me.

"I wonder what would happen..." she trailed off, scooting closer to me. She leaned her head over my tip and put it in her mouth. I threw my head back, moaning at the pleasure soaring through my body. She giggled and started moving downward, taking the entire length into her mouth, bit by bit, until she reached the base. God damn she really knew how to give a blowjob, making me wonder if she's done this before...

She began to take my dick out of her mouth, but stopped at right before the tip, and swirled her tongue around it. "H-holy shit..." I groaned, gripping the sides of the bed. Soon after she'd her tongue swirl, she began to bob up and down on my cock, picking up pace as she went. She looked up as she proceeded, and gave me a little wink that nearly caused me to blow right there. In all honesty, I didn't want this to end anytime soon...

After a few more minutes of watching her beautiful little head bob up and down on my length, I couldn't take it anymore. I gripped her head and pulled her all the way down to the base, stopping and blowing my load right into her throat. Her eyes went wide as she gulped the sticky semen down. She pulled off my dick and gave a little cough.

"Ya know, you should give a little warning before you do that..." she moaned sexily. She swung one of her hind legs over my body and sat on my crotch area, right above my dick. Her juices began to flow down my sides, the warmth from her pussy overwhelming. She looked back and saw that I hadn't gone any softer. "Heh, it appears you can't get enough of me... How about we go for the main event?" She lifted her ass up and teased the tip of my dick with her puffy lips. I moaned as she went, slowing going down and then pulling herself back out. Why the fuck was she such a tease?!

Once again, I couldn't take it anymore. I grabbed her ass and shoved her down, making her yelp with surprise and pleasure. It was extremely warm inside her pussy, and so damn pleasing!

"Celestia dammit... Didn't I tell you not to do something like that without warning?" she nagged. Strangely enough, that didn't kill the mood for me. "Besides, I'm doing the work for you as a sign of my gratitude. Now lay back and let me fuck you." She may not be so assertive outside of the bedroom, but she had it going for her while she was.

She started bouncing up and down, her moans getting louder as she went. It was so damn good. She was tight, but she wasn't a virgin, confirming my suspicions that she had done this before. Unexpectedly, she leaned down and pulled me into a long, passionate kiss. It didn't last long as her eyes went wide and rolled back, her orgasm tearing through her body. She started grinding her hips faster and faster, riding it out and giving me the most pleasurable sensation as her ass whapped against my crotch as she bounced.

She continued to ride me until every trip down caused a yelp or excessively loud moan. I could feel my dick throbbing as it yearned to blow, but having me prevent it. Could ponies get pregnant from humans? I actually hoped no one knew that answer....

"Cum inside me already! Holy fuck!" she started screaming, her movements getting faster and faster as she tried to get me to nut. I grabbed her ass once again and shoved myself as far as I could into her, releasing an even larger load than before. She screamed, certainly loud enough to wake the others, before I pulled her down into a kiss to keep her quiet. She moaned and leaned into it, collapsing onto my chest. Pulling herself off, she looked down at her crotch and mine.

"Seems like we made quite the mess..." she giggled. I nodded, gulping down my doubts from earlier. Certainly, this was worth eternity in Hell. Well, probably not...

"Why don't we clean up and get to sleep?" I asked blissfully. She nodded and her horn glowed, encasing our bodies until all the orgasmic fluids and sweat was clear from us. Then, she laid back down, cuddling next to me.

"Thank you... Who knows? This might not be the only time we get together..." she whispered hotly in my ear before giving me a little wink. Closing her eyes, she snuggled up close, and shattered my heart. These ponies definitely weren't the worst, especially Twilight. I didn't plan on using them for just this anyways.... Maybe they could teach me a few things...

Then, the thought struck me. I had just fucked a pony and wholeheartedly enjoyed it. Oh well...

"Twilight. I have your answer..." I whispered. She opened one eye.

"My answer to what?" she asked tiredly. I smiled and closed my eyes, laying back.

"I don't want to fix the portal..." She gasped a little, and moved closer to me.

"Good," she replied happily. Then, we both drifted to sleep...

A Warm Shower Made Warmer [CLOP]

I awoke to rather pleasant and disturbing sensations. Sure, it was heartwarming to hold the purple mare in your arms while her chest lifted and fell so gracefully, but the smell... rather disturbing.

I had to resist the rising urge to snap out of bed and leap out the window, hopefully ending my life. No, I am a gentlemen and I shall prove as such.

"What the fuck happened last night...?" I groaned. Ech. Graceful enough.

Twilight wiggled around to face me, giving me a confused look. "Did you not like our time together last night...?" she pouted, giving me those fucking eyes again. I wanted to shout...so bad in whatever emotion I was feeling. It's a mixture of shame, confidence, and utter self-loathing with a touch of denial... Ok, a handful of denial.

"I-I don't have a...a uh..." I had zero response to her question. I just stared in those wonderful eyes... ECH! I'm being eaten from the inside! Why?! I don't understand anything relating to this moment. I'm just brain dead and that's horrible thing for a scientist. Especially one of my caliber.

"Hmm. Don't worry about," she giggled. "I know exactly how you felt last night..." she moaned seductively. She rolled so her back was facing me and scooted her flank against my crotch. I reluctantly gave a moan of pleasure. She giggled and got out of bed, trotting over to the doorway before casting a look back at me. "Get yourself cleaned up. I'm going to go and make us some breakfast." A loud crash sounded from the kitchen. Twilight and I grimaced.

"I do so believe they're trying to make breakfast," I sighed. "Maybe you should go help them." I was straining what little courage I had to speak. Everything in my body was seizing and panicking at thought of the vile acts of the past night...

I fucked a pony. And enjoyed it. Do you see the problems with the law and all the horrid morality of it?

I needed a shower... Desperately...

I pulled my miserable body from the bed, slouching over to the door. I had nothing left in me. My entire well-being was on shutdown. I didn't want to speak. Didn't want to socialize. I didn't even want to exist at this period in time. I wanted someone to hand me a shotgun and just nod solemnly as I held it under my chin and pulled the trigger. I wouldn't die peacefully, but it's an alternative to this entire dilemma.

I managed to stumble on over to the bathroom and lazily close the door. I'm nearly positive it didn't even shut all the way but I was in zero condition to care one single bit. I turned on the shower and stepped in, sealing myself in the warmth of exquisite and mind clearing shower water, which I'm sure that it's different. Like, magically altered to just clear away all your troubles...

That thought quickly subsided as I realized I had forgotten a change of clothes...and I wasn't wearing any undergarments since the encounter with Twilight last night...

I was trapped in my own personal hellish heaven.

Surely, I could just live out my days here. The shower is quite expansive by shower standards, and I could live off the water until hunger killed me. Yeah. 10 outta 10 plan.

It failed miserably about 20 minutes in.

"Hey Jeffrey! Could you hurry up?! Your breakfast is getting all cold!" That tomboyish voice of Rainbow Dash echoed through the ventilation and dispersed in my bathroom, making me feeling trapped in a warm prison. I didn't respond, unable to even manage a groan of displeasure.

I should have responded. I heard the dreadful noise of her hooves clopping on the wooden floor, the sound growing nearer as she approached the bathroom door.

"Jeffrey! Get out of the shower or I'm barging in!" she yelled. Why was she angry? There's no reason for her to be angry. I just want to be left alone an I planned on telling her that.

I let out a small and pathetic squeak. A noise no man should ever utter.

"You got until three!" Fuck.

"One!" Fucking say something you piece of shit! "Two!" Fuck you, you rainbow cunt. "Three! I'm coming in!" Motherfucking...

"Damn! At least cover yourself!" She yelped, covering her eyes with one hoof.

"You barged in here!" I shouted back, quickly taking mind to cover myself. Why was this happening? It's like a lazy writer with no fucking clue on how to continue a plot s/he procrastinated on for nearly two months.

Rainbow slowly uncovered her eyes, looking at me with a new look. A smug look.

"I see why Twilight was interested in you..." she said, gaining a confident smirk on her face. I made sure to use only one hand to flip her off. She giggled at that. "C'mon! It was a compliment!" Fuck you and your kindness. I'm cowering in a shower while a blue pegasus laughs at me. I don't need comfort. I need a swift death.

"Just go back downstairs, will you? I want to be left alone," I said, trying to convince her to leave me to die in peace. She held up a hoof to her chin, giving me a sarcastic thinking look.

"Hmmmm no." This time, without thinking, I held up both hands to flip her off. A horrid mistake on my part, realizing she was now staring at my exposed manhood. "Oh...oh wow..." she whispered. I was frozen in place, already imagining the fun and creative ways I could commit suicide. She slowly started inching forward to me. "I really can see why Twilight wanted you..." She'd reached the unfortunately very clear glass door of the shower and put a hoof on, trying to push it open. After several failed attempts, she figured out it was a pull, not a push. She face...hoofed, I guess?

Pulling the glass door open, she jumped and landed next to me, her wings slowly unfurling. The entire time this happened, I sat in the corner of my shower, hands raised as if I was being arrested. I closed my eyes until I felt a furry presence right in between my thighs. I slowly opened one eye, careful to not be hit with a direct blast of water seeing as though I'm in the shower. The sight was rather...magnificent.

Rainbow lay comfortably between my legs, eyeing my manhood. Her wings were in full bloom, and her magenta eyes were wide. Her coat was wet from the shower, giving her a sleek and shiny look. Her mane was matted to her body, making her look...devilishly sexy...

"You know..." she muttered, lifting a hoof up to the tip of my dick. "I always doubted that egghead to make good...mating choices," she let her hoof touch down on the tip, causing me to shiver. I hadn't noticed how awesome fur felt on...sensitive areas during my time with Twilight last night. "But now..." she leaned her head down and hung her tongue just over my cock. My hands still being in the air, I had to resist the urge to grab her and shove my dick clear down her throat. Ironic, isn't it?

"Now, I know she made the right choice..." she moaned as she licked the tip, sending pleasure coursing through me. My hands fell to either side of me and I threw my head back as she wrapped her luscious lips around my tip, using her tongue to wrap and lick around it. Admittedly, she was a lot better than Twilight!

As she began to nod her head back and forth and my cock, she began to sneak glances up at me, giving me the most adorable puppy eyes, threatening to send me over the edge already. Just as I was about to explode, she yanked the dick from her mouth and swayed her hips till her plot was right in front of my face.

"Hey, I like this and all, but you gotta send what you receive," she said, going back to bobbing her head on my throbbing member. She was right...I couldn't sit here and let her do everything. I grasped her flank and rubbed, earning a moan from Dash that sent a extremely pleasurable vibration down my dick. She flicked her tail out the way, slapping me in the face with wet hair. She giggled, which only made the pleasure in my crotch grow.

Not holding back anymore and forgetting all thoughts about my declining morality after fucking Twilight; I dove into her pussy, lapping and probing with my tongue. She moaned into my dick, increasing her pace. I followed suit, increasing the speed and power of my licks, trying to catch up with how much progress she'd already made with her mouth.

The sensation was wonderful. Her throat was unbelievably tight and the flesh of her throat was soft and comfy, making it all so splendid. Her marehood, I suppose, was a sight to behold. Puffy, inviting lips and tried trapping my tongue inside her whenever I lashed out with it. I couldn't get enough of it!

Soon, I finally began losing stamina in holding myself together. I had no idea how close Dash was, and I didn't want to finish before her. It'd make me seem weak and that wasn't acceptable with the athletic mare. I pushed myself to resist the temptation of filling her throat with semen, and increased my aggressiveness at her backdoor.

"I-I can't keep it in anymore! I'm coming!" she finally yelled after taking my dick out of her mouth, but immediately diving back on it after she finished her sentence.

"I am too, Dash!" I shouted, picking up my pace at her pussy. Soon enough, I threw my hips upward, trying to get as far into her throat as possible before finally reaching climax. At the same time, she shoved her hips back and began to grind against my face, smearing her flowing torrent of juices from her climax all over my face. Ironically enough, my only thought was, "I'm glad we are in a shower..."

Even after our climaxes, we still enjoyed ourselves with one another's genitalia. Dash was a swallower, making sure to get every last bit before it could be washed about by the shower. I did the same, lapping up all the juices left on her, inhaling her sweet smell all the while.

As we ironically finished cleaning each other up in the shower, she climbed up onto my chest. She made a point, however, to keep her nether regions resting upon my once again erecting cock. Realizing I was getting hard again, she gave me a smirk.

"You haven't had enough of me, huh? Damn you're good..." she whispered seductively, slowly grinding herself against me once again.

"Dash...I-I think the others might be...concerned on what's going on..." I said; not because I didn't want to fuck Dash, but because I don't think I'd live through it. Then again...

"Oh, don't worry about that...Twilight told me you'd be in the shower..." Twilight...You motherfucker...

"W-why would she do that?" I asked shakily. Rainbow laughed and sat up on my crotch, lifting herself above my tall-standing dick.

"Something about not wanting to rebuild the science-y machine." She slammed herself down, taking the entire length in one go. The pleasure was in a near unbearable amount, sending shivers that caused me to arch my back. She felt incredible! The heat and the very folds of her insides made me want to explode right then and there again! I looked at Dash and saw the most beautiful sight imaginable. Her tongue was lolling out and her eyes were transfixed on me. Her matted mane flowed beside her, even swaying from the water hitting it so elegantly. My heart was at a stand-still, unable to process the beauty before me and the pleasure surging throughout the entirety of my body. I then threw my head back in ecstasy as she began moving up and down on me, slapping my groin with her ass with every downward stroke, causing my mind to shut down.

"Fuck yes!" she screamed, increasing the sound of her moans as she also increased the speed and aggressiveness of her thrusts. It truly was unbearable; my dick already throbbing and twitching inside her warm marehood.

"D-dash! I'm gonna cum!" I warned, shutting my eyes tight, trying to hold it in so I could savior the wonderful sensation.

"Oh yes! Cum inside me! Fill me up!" she screamed, doing the impossible and speeding up even further, using her wings to bring her rocketing up and slamming back down at inhuman speeds. I couldn't hold it anymore. I grabbed her waist and slammed her down on me, throwing my hips upward as well, trying to get all of myself inside her. For a good 15 seconds I released anything I had into her, eventually silencing her loud moaning and screams of pleasure with a kiss. A passionate kiss at that...

I'm so fucking hypocritical...

Finally, it all ended. Dash went limp and melted in my arms, trying to use whatever stamina she had left to snuggle up close to me. I reached up and turned off the shower. Turns out, at some point during our...intimacy...the hot water ran out, leaving us with cold water. The sensations must have clouded my judgement on whether to tell if the water was hot or cold.

She rested her head underneath my chin and finally pulled my cock from her nether regions. Snuggling up close, she whispered into my ear, "So was I better than Twilight?" Chuckling, I ruffled up her matted mane and leaned in close.

"Don't tell Twilight, but you were." Her eyes lit up and she snuggled up even tighter and closing her brilliant eyes, muttering something about always being the best. Laughing a bit, I laid my head atop of hers, closing my eyes and letting the world float away.

At first, I was very skeptical on this whole thing. Housing ponies. Not a very common task. Especially ones who can communicate and feel. But the scare of last night is what really got me... It was one thing to befriend and care for them...but a really entirely different thing to experience such intimacy... It was completely my moral standards but then again... It certainly was nice to feel a bit more...loved...

Any morals I once kept close to myself are gone. I don't care what happens with these ponies anymore. I'm staying with them for eternity.

Applebuckin' [CLOP]

From then on, my life got significantly better. Over the next few weeks and actually getting to know the ponies, I found that they weren't just a bunch of insane, and in Twilight and Rainbow's case, sex driven horses. Twilight for instance was a librarian in a town called Ponyville and she was the Princess of the Stars or some ridiculous shit like that. Apparently, the ones with wings were the fuckin' Aryan master race or some shit and go on to control celestial bodies. Well, unless you're Princess Cadence, who just controls love. I guess that's significant, but I think that's why she got Twilight's brother to marry her. Princess of Love has to have some moves amiright...?

Yeah...I'm having those type of thoughts about ponies now... Oh dear God what am I becoming...?

The others had their own little backgrounds. Fluttershy was shy (no shit) and cared for animals in a small cottage on the outskirts of Ponyville. Rarity was a fashionista that owned the Carousel Boutigue and lived with her little sister, Sweetie Belle. Sweetie Belle, as Rarity explained, was always out with her friends trying to get a cutie mark. Apparently those decide was you have to follow in life, which is a bit unfair.

Pinkie Pie lived in a bakery called Sugar Cube Corner, owned by the Cake family. Seriously...these names cannot get any stranger. Every single name was a word with another meaning... Anyways, Pinkie was the energetic, party lover that just fucked around most of the time. That last part I had already inferred though.

Rainbow Dash, as I had imagined, was an athlete. Unlike the others who lived in Ponyville, she lived in a city above the clouds called Cloudsdale. What a fucking fantastic name. Really. What else to name a city in the clouds? Anyways, Dash's personal goal was to join up with the Wonderbolts, an elite group of pegasi that preformed tricks. Sounds...fascinating?

Finally, there was Applejack. Farm pony that, as obvious as it is, owned an apple farm called Sweet Apple Acres. Brilliant. She lived with her grandma, brother, and little sister. I had wanted to ask about her parents, but I felt wrong in doing so.

So we had all become better acquainted with each other and were starting to do more things together. Sunday nights, we'd put in a movie and watch it 'till we all fell asleep. Most of the Monday mornings I'd find myself being cuddled by either Twilight or Rainbow, which always gives me a jump start to rather dreadful sense of Mondays. Though, in the recent weeks, I'd find Applejack curled up next to me or lying on my chest. I would be the proper gentlemen and wait for her to wake up as to not disturb her, while she slept on top of me. Plus, I loved it. She was kinda adorable just lying there and snoozing...her body moving ever-so-slightly due to her breathing. The fur was also a pleasant sensation. Soft and warm...

Admittedly, I loved it when being snuggled by any of the ponies. I had grown accustomed to their rather high voices and even grown to love them! I even invite them to sleep in my room or just crash in the living room nowadays. I feel a lot more comfortable around them...a lot more accepted..

"Hey! Whatcha looking at there?" asked Pinkie from behind me. I realized I had zoned out and was staring blankly at the dark screen of the television. Laughing a bit, I twisted around in my seat to ruffle Pinkie's mane.

"Don't know, Pinkie. How about we turn on the TV to see what we could be staring at?" I asked, rubbing behind her ear. She nodded her head and went to pick up the remote from the table when Dash and Applejack came trotting down the stairs.

"...sure that I would be the fastest even here!" Dash boasted. They appeared to be in a friendly argument.

"Nuh-uh RD. This world works a lot differently than in Equestria. Ah'd be the fastest 'ere," Applejack countered, stopping to proudly hold a hoof to her breast.

"Well...if Jeff would take us outside...we wouldn't have to argue about it," Dash said, raising her voice a tad when she mentioned my name. She was right though. I next to never took them outside out the fear of them being seen, even though I live secluded from anyone else...

"Hpmh teh remhmpt!" exclaimed Pinkie, holding the TV remote in her mouth, her eyes in a wide and gleeful fashion.

"Thanks Pinkie," I chuckled, taking the remote from her mouth and patting her on the head. I turned in my seat to face Rainbow and Applejack. "I figure it is about time I take you guys outside for some fresh air. Being locked up in here with me for how ever many weeks could be a bit maddening."

Applejack shook her head. "Ya ain't maddenin'. It's just a bit borin' to spend all our time in here..." She was right... I had failed to take into consideration that they were ponies and that they did spend the majority of their life outdoors.

"Alright then. We'll go for a camping trip. All of us," I suggested, rising from my seat. "I'll go tell the-" I stopped as Pinkie nudged my leg and pointed at the TV. "Oh! Right. We'll tell the others after Pinkie and I watch TV," I said, bending down to pick her up and bring her over to the couch. She giggled and wrapped her forelegs around me, letting me carry her. Even after I sat down, she didn't let go.

"Jeez, Pinkie. Don't hog him!" Dash scoffed, trotting over to the couch. Applejack followed.

"We're gonna watch TV with ya too," she said, jumping onto the couch and snuggling up to my right side with Dash following suit on the left side. With everyone snuggling up close, we all sat and watched TV, letting the hours slip past.

*****

"Guys! We're going on a camping trip!" I had announced as they talked at the kitchen table. They all had only positive responses to cheer, with even a, "Woohoo," from Fluttershy. As I had suspected, they all held the same wishes as Rainbow and Applejack, all of them longing for the outdoors. So now, they all ride in my car as I drive us to a secluded campground in the woods near my home. As I said earlier, I didn't want them being spotted in fear of someone reporting the strange equines and have them taken from me. I did not want that. Ever.

Now, however, I'd enjoy a short break. The car ride to the camp was proving rather...difficult.

"When we get there, I'm gonna bury you in the dust!" claimed Dash, who was riding in the back seat next to Applejack.

"No ya won't! Ah'll be the first one to the camp!" Applejack retorted. I heard the sound of wings rustling. "And ya can't use yer wings!" Rainbow scoffed.

"Take every advantage you can get, AJ!" Good friends they may be, but their bickering was just...

"Takin' advantage of somethin' I don't have! That's cheatin'!" Applejack yelled. Jesus they were annoying at times. Thankfully, we were just pulling into the camp site. Parking the car, I twisted to face Dash and Aj.

"There will be no racing until we have the tents, sleeping bags, and everything else unpacked and set up. Got that?" I said, glaring at both of them. They both huffed in response and Dash began playing with the car door handle.

"These are not pony friendly..." she mumbled as she tried to open it.

"The designers weren't concerned with sentient ponies trying to open doors, Rainbow," Twilight reminded her from her spot in the passenger seat. She opened her door with magic and jumped out, levitating the book she was reading with her. Rarity did the same, opening both of the back seat doors and jumping out, having the others quickly follow suit. Stepping out myself, I announced:

"Everyone or everypony will pitch in to setting up the camp so we can be ready for nightfall. Now, Twilight and Rarity will help get everything out using their magic. Dash and Applejack will help carry too. Finally, Pinkie and Fluttershy can go out and find an appropriate location for us to set up! Now, everyone or pony get moving!" We all scattered, looking to do our jobs and get ready for night.

I realized a problem while we finished watching Applejack and Rainbow race.

There weren't enough sleeping bags for all of us. We only had six for seven people... Or rather six ponies and one human... And I needed to be the gentleman among six...mares, I guess.

"We have a minor problem," I announced as we sat around the campfire, Dash and AJ recovering from their race while the others ate and talked. In case you were wondering, they both ended up collapsing. Physics, gravity, and terrain is a lot different here than in Equestria.

"Well, what seems to be the problem?" asked Twilight, looking up from her book.

"There's only six sleeping bags for the seven of us. I can ju-"

"Ah'll take the ground!" interrupted AJ, lifting herself up from the ground. I held up my hand to stop her.

"No. You won't. I'm the one who fucked up the count. I should be on the ground," I said. Applejack gave me a look said, "Don't argue with me." But, in all honesty, it was somewhat enjoyable to fuck around with these ponies. And that could be meant any way you take it. "Don't argue with me, AJ." She smirked and trotted past me to the tent.

"Then we'll share it, sugarcube," she called back, pushing through the tent flap. Oh, how delightful... It wasn't sarcasm. I'd actually like to have one of them so close to me but ya know...with a lot more room to maneuver..

Dash let out a loud yawn and poked my leg. "You better get going, hotshot. She'll need her rest after I beat her," she giggled lazily. A groan sounded from AJ's tent, expressing her disagreement with the outcome of the race. I laughed a bit, turning to head into the tent before stopping.

"Everyone off to bed now. Tomorrow, we'll head down to the river to go swimming!" The announcement was met with cheers of excitement, which were soon replaced with grumbles as I ushered them off to bed. After making sure every...pony...was off in bed, I went to my tent to see Applejack laying on top of the sleeping bag, waiting for me to enter.

"Took ya long 'nuff. Ah've been gettin' tired," she yawned, stretching across the sleeping bag. "Now climb inta the bag. Ah'll fit mahself in once yer done." Nodding my head, I opened the lip of the bag and slipped in, making room for Applejack.

She, however, had other ideas.

Leaping on top of my chest, she laid her head right on my neck, giving me a tiny nibble on the chin. Completely taken aback, I just lied there, panting since her landing on me had knocked the wind out of me. Short thereafter, I had regained my breath and just wrapped Applejack in my arms, holding her close. Then, I had a sudden thought.

"There's another reason you wanted to be in the same sleeping bag, isn't there?" I asked, gaining a bit of confidence. She smirked, leaning forward until her muzzle was right up to next to my ear.

"Well, Ah'm glad your scientist mind can figure that out..." she whispered before biting my ear, putting a shiver down my spine. My pants began to tighten...and Applejack took notice. "Ya enjoyin' yerself?" she asked, biting down harder on my ear. I was already as hard as steel without her doing that... "How about Ah help ya out with yer problem?" Applejack moaned lucidly, sliding down my chest. She stopped right above my crotch, tapping the flesh trying to break free of it's fabric prison with her hoof, causing it to twitch and throb. She tried fumbling with the zipper, but hooves aren't the best for trying to grab something so little.

I mean the zipper, of course...

I helped her out, pulling down the zipper and easing off my pants. She blushed profusely as she watched me, staring at the bulge in my underpants. Without warning, she leaned down and took the waistband in her mouth, pulling my undergarments away from me. Her eyes grew wide.

"Just like Dash said it'd be like..." she whispered, her breathing increasing rapidly, causing her hot breath to splash against my dick. She leaned down to lick the tip, but I wanted to try something new.

Before she was able to make contact, I grabbed and lifted her up by the waist and stood up, earning a surprised yelp and I did so. Now, her plot was right in front of my face and her head dangled around my crotch. Not for long however, since as soon as Applejack regained her senses, she immediately deepthroated me, sending a wave of ecstasy through me. Not wanting to be lazy, I dove into her pussy, licking and probing with my tongue. She tasted like sweet apples, ironically enough... And I couldn't get enough of it!

As we continued, I couldn't help but thrust a bit into her throat. Her rough tongue and tight throat made me want to explode! She knew it too, because she would deepthroat me at any chance she could get, leaving herself there. As if that wasn't enough, she would swirl her tongue around the entirety of my dick, wrapping me in a blanket of pure pleasure. Wanting to return the favor, I smashed her plot against my face, licking around her clit, trying to get her to erupt. I kept digging and digging into her, leaving my tongue inside her to thrash about, licking every nook and cranny my tongue could reach. She tried harder as well, using her tongue to massage my tip and rub against the underside of my dick. I was throbbing and twitching insanely, my cock begging to have everything inside me released.

And I gave in... I blew my load deep into her throat and shoved her pussy into my face as she came as well, lapping up every last bit of her juices. As she came, she wrapped her backlegs around me, pulling me in.

Minutes passed after I went down to the ground, basking in the thought of the orange mare. I opened my eyes and turned to face Applejack, only to discover standing there, presenting herself to me in a doggy style pose.

"Sugarcube... Please! Fill me up!" she nearly yelled, wiggling her ass in the air and flicking her twitching tail out of the way. Stumbling to my feet, I grew hard again as her juicy and meaty ass continued to sway, mesmerizing me... "Sugarcube!" she moaned, snapping me out of the trance. I grabbed her flank, steadying it and aligning my cock up with her marehood. As soon as I put the tip in, she moaned so loudly that I'm sure everypony had just been awoken from their slumber. She slammed backwards, causing a loud "thwap" sound to echo throughout the woods. She continued to do so, slapping onto my crotch in every go. There was no way any of the ponies could be sleeping now...

Besides all that, she felt incredible! Tight and the folds inside her made me want to explode right then and there! The fur from her plot that made contact every time she went back felt terrific, even if it was there and gone for brief seconds at a time. And her pace...aggressive and fast...her walls clamping down on me and trying to milk every bit of cum from me...it was the most pleasurable experience I had felt since Dash!

"S-sugar! A-Ah can't this up much longer!" she panted, her pace beginning to slow. I grabbed her ass and pulled it back, allowing me to go as far in as I could. I wanted to make it clear that I would continue the show from then on.

I continued to thrust into her, sometimes pulling all the way out and then slamming back in to become connected with her warmth once again...to fill her up. Her walls began to clamp down with even more force everytime I tried pulling myself out to go back in; for she wanted me to fill her up completely and never leave... I began to sense my approaching orgasm as I picked up the speed and aggressiveness of my thrusts.

"Applejack...I gonna cum soon!" I moaned, slamming into her rear with a passion. All she did was scream in ecstasy as her walls clamped down onto me, causing me to go over the edge. Using my last bit of strength, I shoved myself completely into her, emptying my load into her with large intensity. Her moans grew loud enough to wake the next town over and then some, so I reached down and pulled her up by the breast, making sure to keep myself inside. When I pulled her up to me, I pressed my lips against hers, leaning into the kiss that completely silenced her loud moaning. We held it there for what seemed like several minutes before I collapsed with on top of me onto the sleeping bag, my cock still halfway into her.

Both of us were panting and not caring that our juices were leaking onto the slippery portable bed. I wrapped my arms around her and held her close, finally pulling her off of my dick.

"K-keep it inside me..." she groaned, giving me a pouty look. I couldn't resist her...so I did. She moaned so lucidly that I began to grow hard again, expanding her walls once again. Noticing, she gave me an embarrassed look. "A-Ah'm sorry, sugarcube... I'm all out of strength..."

I was too, so I just shrugged and held her tighter, giving her a slight nibble on her neck. Her eyes drifted shut and so did mine...my body going into rest mode...

My only hope was that none of the others woke up and found us like this... It'd make for an interesting story however...