Milk and Honey

Milk and Honey

A Milky Way in the Vogonverse story

Chapter 1 ‘Got Milk?’

The smell of peanuts, beer, and pretzels filled air with the sounds of friendly chatter. That’s how things were at The Speakeasy, especially at five o’clock on a Saturday. It was the kind of place that a person could feel welcomed, where anypony, no matter who (or what) they were, would be greeted with a smile; their names called out by their friends, and they could rely on leaving their troubles at the door for a while. The atmosphere changed when Sydney, one of the bar’s regulars, stumbled in, looking harried.

News of the helpmates, the appearance of the Equestrian helpmates which had no owners, was no longer the news it had been. Even so, every head turned when Sydney clambered down The Speakeasy’s steps with a shaken looking mare. She was petite, even by Equestrian standards, standing at a measly five foot four, at most. Her pale, buttercream coat wore a silky sheen to it; her mane and tail were a shade of cerulean, verging on sapphire with midnight blue undertones. Very human, leaf green eyes darted back and forth over the bar patrons, carrying a worried expression in them.

“Ned? Ned, somebody needs to call the paramedics and the police,” Sydney called out as he walked the mare over to a table.

The clop of her hooves on the hardwood floor was unmistakable in the silence of nominally boisterous early evening. Sydney pulled out a chair for the mare; she took the proffered seat, still obviously shaken over what had happened, and tried to relax. Her whole quivered, driven to quaking by a fear induced adrenaline rush. It was a sensation both alien and exhilarating for the mare.

“What happened out there?” Ned asked as he booted up the bar’s now antiquated viewing console.

“I… I’m not sure,” she said with a British accent.

She glanced at the bartender who had asked the question. He looked at her, his eyes almost seeming like they could pull her very soul to the surface and examine it. After a moment a light smile, that seemed too gentle for his face, crossed his lips. Disoriented as she was, she could nary ponder why this man glanced at her like that. A mystery for another time…

“This is the Boston Emergency Line, Please indicate the type of emergency you have,” the city’s Digital Assistant Operator said.

“There’s been an accident, just outside of 84 Beacon street,” Sydney said.

“Is the Fire Department required?” the city’s Digital Assistant Operator asked.

“No, just send the paramedics and a police officer,” Ned replied.

“Very well, a paramedic ambulance and patrol car in the vicinity have been notified. They will be arriving within seven minutes. Is there any other services needed?” the Digital Assistant Operator asked.

“No, thank you,” Ned said before the video phone shut off, “You gonna be alright Miss?”

She looked at him, her green eyes looking less unsettled and frantic, and she breathed out a small calming exhale. She nodded, not sure if she could completely trust her voice completely, and gave a small smile back to the bartender. This stallion- even with her mind currently far afield, she honestly believed she could trust this stallion. It wasn’t like she much other choice, in the matter.

“Yes, I… Believe so. It just happened so suddenly, I was somewhere else, completely, and then without warning I was near a stallion trying to lift a piano,” she replied.

“Franky?” Ned asked looking at Sydney.

“Yeah, the rope slipped, and I happened to be there. I knocked her out of the way,” Sydney said.

“Damn, is he alright?” Ned asked.

“I think so, but that’s why the paramedics,” Sydney replied.

The bar slowly began to buzz with chatter from the other patrons who started to lose interest in the happenstance of an unlikely savior and savee coming into the bar. Sydney sat next to the blue haired beauty. The shock and fear of what nearly happened was slowly leaving her. She visibly relaxed when he put an arm around her shoulders.

“Thank you,” she said.

He smiled, patted her hand with his unoccupied one, and felt her hand move slightly. She gently gripped his hand and looked at him. He could see something in her eyes he had read about in old plays, and heard about in old songs, but he’d never really seen it before. There was honesty and true gratefulness there.

“You are very welcomed,” he replied.

Her expressions were no different from a humans. Her face was different, obviously, because of her muzzle and ears, and he could hear her hooves clopping on the ground as she walked. There wouldn’t be any sneaking up on anyone for her, but she acted just as human as any of his friends would have. Perhaps she acted more human than his friends.

The sound of a stomach rumbling gained the attention of a few patrons sitting around where they were. Milky blushed, which was something that seemed magical seeing that she was covered with fur. She looked at Sydney with an expression of mixed embarrassment and hope.

"Sorry, but I didn't eat breakfast before I came... here," she said.

Sydney looked at Ned who seemed to already have a handle on what might be happening, and after a moment Ned brought over two menus. He smiled at them both and flipped Milky’s menu open to a Seafood and Salad section. Sydney looked at his own and thought about what he would like. There was this childish part of him that wanted to eat chicken, or pork, just as a chance to rebel against his parents, but in truth while he was a little hungry he wasn’t starving.

“Ned, when did you start serving food again? I thought that you just wanted this place to be a bar,” Sydney said.

“I do, and it is; the menus are for the restaurant upstairs. They’ve set up a grill down here, and they let me hire the short order cook to take care of it. They take orders from the bar, cook it, and deliver it right here, and make change themselves. Folks get a meal, I don’t have to clean up the mess, and most of them order a beer, or some wine, to go with it,” Ned replied.

“Oh, Hayburgers? You have hayburgers?” Milky asked.

“Haywhatnow?” Sydney asked.

“Oh I haven’t had a hayburger since I visited my cousin Bonbon in Ponyville… The hay looks a little too done in the picture though,” she replied.

“That’s because it’s not hay,” corrected Ned, “It’s beef.”

Milky watched as Ned walked toward the window in the grill, took the tray and carried it toward another table. Sydney followed Milky’s gaze. A thought occurred to him as he watched. There was something missing in Ned’s bar that day. Sydney couldn’t place what it was at first. Then it came to him: the other half-owner of the Speakeasy, George, was conspicuously absent.

“Ned, what happened to George?” Sydney asked.

“He went and caught the flu, so I’m running my bar and the grill while he’s out sick,” Ned said.

The orders slowly emerged, little by little. Finally Sydney saw the grill cook as she stepped away from the grill for her break. Like Milky, she was one of the Equestrian folk. She wasn’t as endowed as Milky, but then Sydney wasn’t sure that there was any other woman, of any race, that was as well endowed as Milky. She was carrying a small salad, a glass of something, and what looked like a few pieces of cheese toast with her. For a moment her eyes drifted toward the two of us, and a bright smile crossed her muzzle.

“I’m so sorry to intrude; if I am I’ll leave, but would you terribly mind if I sit down with the two of you?” she asked.

“I haven’t seen any bits. In fact, when Ned brought out our food Sydney just touched this black thing with a red indention in it.” Milky said.

“They don’t use bits here, dear. Mostly it’s called credits.” Love tap said as she smiled and nodded, as Milky gave the other mare an incredulous glare, “I know, I know, I thought it was strange too. Everything that we buy or see is almost strictly through digital interaction. I think that someone said that some places call it scrip, but everypony I know just calls it credits.”

“Why did they start using that?” Milky asked.

“This is one of the few times my son has taught me something. It seems that there’s this massive network, and on it there’s this huge gaming company. That company allows players to enter and play for a quarter credit. Once they’re in, the gaming company sells upgrades to the players, or the players can complete quests to get the upgrades. Button says that you can really tell the questers from the spenders. Anyway, the questers typically are the ones who win tournaments, and the prizes for those tournaments is credits which you can spend at the gaming company. Since that company is basically the biggest entity online, most everywhere has switched to accepting credits instead of regular payment. The value of the credits never goes down, and so everyone uses them for everything.” Love tap said.

“So… What’s wrong with using something like bits?” Milky asked.

“I think that it would be harder for them to go back to it. This seems to be easier for them,” Love replied.

Love nodded once she responded and proceeded to take a bite of her food. Using the moment of silence, Milky took a bite of her salad. Using the fork, she stabbed a piece of lettuce and shrimp and made sure an adequate amount of dressing was on it. Carefully, she brought the utensil to her mouth, trying not to drop anything on her chest. She then wrapped her lips around, pulled back, and began to chew. It wasn't the best salad she had eaten-lettuce was a tad bit old- but it was something to put on her stomach. She took another bite before wiping her mouth.

"So are there anymore of us around… here?" Milky asked.

Love Tap swallowed before answering, "Of course, dear! Besides my family, there's tons more. If it'll help you, the Elements are here, too. All married to the native folks; some even with foal."

"With foal?! With…" Milky looked at Sydney who wasn't paying attention, "them?"

"Yes, my dear, it’s truly magical." Love sighed, her eyes going into a daydream state until she was ripped out of it.

"Hey, horse! We need you back at the kitchen!"

"I guess that's my cue to leave. Enjoy your stay here," Love stood, grabbed her plate, and yelled, "I'm coming, I’m coming! And I'm not a freaking WHORSE!"

Left alone, Milky returned to her anxious silence. She had food, for now, but not a place to stay the night. She definitely didn't have any "credits" for a hotel. She began to nervously run her hand together, unsure of her future.

“Yeah, Yeah. At least she’s better than Sherri. That girl couldn’t boil water without burning something,” Ned looked at the two of them and brought over a couple of glasses of water, “I figure a couple of glasses of water isn’t gonna kill either of you.”

“Thanks.”

Once Ned walked away Sydney looked at Milky who had grown quiet.

“Something wrong?”

The concern in his voice gained her attention. She wasn’t one to use a pony’s concern against them, but if he did help her she would find a way of paying him back. Surely getting a job here wouldn’t be that much more difficult than getting on in Trottingham.

“I don’t know where I’m going to sleep tonight. I find myself without my saddlebags, with no bits, and none of these… credits. It’s worrisome to say the least. I honestly have no clue on what I should do.”

“Sometimes it’s the little acts of kindness that we’re remembered for, Sydney. It’s those acts that make life worth living.”

The last words his mother had ever said to him replayed in his ears. Little acts of kindness. An act of kindness was bringing her in here, getting her a meal, and getting her out of the way of the police and paramedics. He took a moment and realized that he was really about the only one in a position to help, or at least help in the best way he could.

“Look, if you need a place to stay for a couple of days while you try to get on your feet I’ve got some extra room. I mean my apartment is pretty open, but I do have some extra room. It’d be off of the streets, and it would keep me from worrying.”

“All guests are to be cleared before entering the building. I know Billy, I know. I already entered her into the guest registry on the way over.”

“Very well, if this turns into a long term guest then we may have to re-evaluate your rent,” the same voice replied before the elevator doors dinged and opened.

Milky took hold of her surroundings. They were in spacious lobby painted in calm, neutral colors greeted the pair. matching, plush armchairs and squishy sofas lined the reception area; light jazz piped in from hidden stereo speakers. The recessed lighting overhead cast a luminous, bland glare over all the surfaces, including the mahogany piping of the reception desk. There was no one behind the counter, save for a mechanical entity that watched with a solemn, dusky red photoreceptor.

Sydney guided his guest to a pair of elevators at the furthest end of the lobby. The brass accents and titanium doors of the elevator doors were meant to add some class to the appliances, Milky assumed, but the metals had been long abused. She could see smudged prints on the brass in the places where it was untarnished. The titanium doors had dents in them and many scratches. The one lift had a deep gouge in it; Milky wondered how such an obvious bit of damage could go unrepaired. She was starting to have misgivings about Sydney's offer…

“I didn’t mean to get you into trouble,” Milky said.

They were just entering the carriage of the elevator when she said this. Given her assumptions made from the condition of the doors, Milky was taken aback from the clean, almost pristine nature of the carriage’s interior. All the metal fittings within were highly polished and only the slightest bit scratched. The floor was a fine tile highly waxed to a brilliant sheen. The lift also had mirrors above the wainscot, each of which was clean of smudges and polished well for excellent reflectiveness. She noticed a few stray hairs spilling out of her mane and went to straighten them. She then turned to her host, with a nervous grimace. He gave her a grin and shook his head.

“You didn’t,” Sydney assured, “Billy’s just doing what he’s programmed to do. He’s programmed to keep track of those entering and exiting the building. To be honest, I think that I’m the only tennent here. I haven’t seen the other guy that was renting an apartment here in about two months.”

The elevator dinged again and the two of them stepped out into a room with hardwood floors. Milky looked around at Sydney’s domicile. There was a massive sofa connected to an end table and a recliner; in front if it was a large, dark screen. She wasn’t sure what kind of screen it was, but it did remind her of some of the theater screens from when she visited Ponyville. She could see a nice kitchen, a stationary island for it, and a billiards table. She walked toward it, touching the purple velvet on the table and then looking back at Sydney.

“The table was here when I moved in,” Sydney explained, “I just refinished it, and brought it back to life.”

She did a quick turn and noticed that there was only one half wall in the entire place.

“I don’t want to be rude, but where do you want me to sleep?” Milky inquired.

He grinned at her again, and lead her behind the wall. There she saw a large bed, already made, and she assumed that it was just waiting for its owner.

“You go ahead and take the bed. I’ll take the couch,” Sydney invited.

She shook her head.

“No,” milky protested, “I’m the guest here. I should take the sofa.”

“Exactly,” Sydney argued, “you’re my guest. You take the bed, I’ll take the couch. Just let me grab a pillow off of the bed, and a spare blanket.”

Before she could argue further, he had a pillow under his arm, opened the closet, and pulled out a faded blue blanket.

“The master bathroom, well only bathroom, is right over there,” he said pointing to the corner.

She noticed that there was a tiled area with a clear curtain around it. She could see a shower stall, a toilet, and a sink. She also noticed that said ‘bathroom’ was not hidden behind the wall. It didn’t look bad to her. After all, she’d been to some houses with a similar layout before. She stretched, and before he could take in what was going on she was walking toward the shower, stripping the entire time. Sydney felt a small bit of modesty come over her and turned around. He had happened a glance at some of her figure, and to say that it was to die for would be an understatement.

“Ummm… yeah, while you’re doing that I’m going to go make up the couch!” Sydney mumbled.

“Okay!” she shouted over the water that was now running, “Oh, by Celestia, this hot water is amazing! Oh, what does this…. Oh MY!”

He shuddered as he realized that she must have activated the massaging showerhead. He didn’t need to look toward the clear plastic curtain, which was pulled back completely now, or anywhere near the bathroom really, to know this. Instead he listened to a beautiful woman’s voice, singing, with a British Accent. Singing, and having a slight moan every once in a while.

It’s fine Sydney, she’s just very comfortable. No worries, he thought.

The shower stopped after a few minutes; he heard the sound of her hooves stepping onto the mat in front of the shower stall. He had taken a shower earlier, and while he considered taking another one, he pushed that idea out of his head. It’d be awkward enough as is. He felt two arms wrap around him, and two very large mammary glands press into his back.

“Thank you for letting me stay,” Milky cooed.

“Y...You’re welcome,” he replied.

He turned around to see her hair in a towel, and she was wrapped in what appeared to be two different towels.

“I’m afraid that I am rather tired,” Milky breathed, “thank you again for letting me stay.”

He watched as she walked back toward the wall and around her. Her tail was lifted up, just a bit, and he fell back onto the couch.

“Better than looking at the wall,” he muttered before he stretched out. He was certain that, given the day’s events, his guest would be fast asleep before his overstimulated mind would allow him to slumber, but moments after his head fell onto his pillow, Sydney was asleep. He wouldn’t hear the faint breathing of his Equestrian guest as she drifted off to sleep…