I Can't Go Back

by Briarpelt

Rating: everyone
Tags: Sad, Alternate Universe
Length: 1930

A princess stands atop Canterlot Castle, consumed with wanderlust and longing for the past. Her sister sits on a throne, hiding worry and millennium-old guilt behind her smile. And not far away, a group of rebels plan to restore order to the kingdom

A princess stands at the top of Canterlot Castle's tallest tower. She is consumed with wanderlust, and chased with images of the past. Her most infamous mistake–her transformation into the wicked Nightmare Moon–is inconsequential, now. She has put it behind her, and learned from the experience. But older wounds still scar her heart, and an unfamiliar land makes her distant. She yearns to be away… to be before…

A princess sits on a velvet cushion, in Canterlot Castle's throne room. She wears a mask of peaceful contentment, but underneath it, she is worried. Whispers of spies in the capital have reached her ears, coming not from any of the neighboring countries, but from within Equestria itself. Her sister is back, safe and whole, but she feels that she was responsible for her banishment to begin with. Guilt claws at her chest, and wounds that have festered for a thousand years will soon be reopened.

Tucked away in a hidden mountain pass, a village resides. It has gone undetected for a millennium, since its founders sought out a secure place to hide. Its residents are fiercely loyal to the Princess of the Night, and now that she is back, they can finally strike down the Princess of the Day and restore Equestria's true ruler to the throne. A crime committed long ago–the neglect and banishment of a diarch, by a diarch–will soon come to justice.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-03-18 22:19:23 UTC

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I Can't Go Back

By Briarpelt

Soon, it all will end,

This could be goodbye.

I’ll wear this form today,

Speak what I must say,

This day I could die.

I’ll walk into that room,

I’ll face her, and I’ll speak.

Do what must be done,

Hope that I’ll have won,

Never to be meek.

I will not be afraid.

I’ll stand, and I’ll be strong.

Nightly, I have wept,

Peace and quiet kept,

Never to belong.

Blazing like the sun,

Burning in her gaze,

Can none of you see

She is killing me

With her arid days?

Soon, it all will end.

This is a goodbye.

Don the mask today,

Speak what I must say,

One of us will die.

Shining as the stars,

Deep as blackest night,

Gentle as the moon,

Strong as a monsoon,

I shall be your light!

Prologue: When the Sun has a Shadow

In an instant, Princess Luna teleported the sun to be opposite the moon once more, and the black beams of the eclipse faded away. Only moonlight remained in their place. As she cackled and reveled in her new power, her starlit armor was revealed: no longer her crown and other royal regalia, but a glittering helm, chestplate, and set of metal horseshoes. The moonlight revealed one other thing as well: while the night banner above Luna’s throne remained intact, the golden tapestry of the day had been torn nearly to shreds.

Suddenly, Luna’s spurt of mirth ceased, and her face contorted into a mask of rage. She shot a beam of turquoise power from her horn, destroying a bust of Celestia high on the wall. She dragged the beam further up the wall, into the ceiling of the throne room. In the path of destruction, several chunks of the roof fell to the floor.

Celestia stepped from her position in the doorway at last and looked down at the rock on the floor, then met her sister's gaze. She wore a mask of combined hurt and determination. An experienced reader of emotions might have been able to detect a trace of anxiety in her eyes, or seen that her mind was whirling frantically.

Luna walked out of the dust, wearing an expression of contempt mixed with pride and determination. Celestia flew into the air, looking down on her sister from near the ceiling. Luna, face contorted with rage, fired another beam, directly at her sister this time. Celestia dodged, barely, and the beam smashed a hole in the ceiling, revealing the full moon in the night sky. The Princess landed, her wings held erect, her face a mask of determination. But suddenly, her gaze turned slightly downward, her eyes now brimming with barely repressed emotion.

"Luna, I will not fight thee. Thou must lower the moon! It is thy duty!" She spoke with authority, a tremor of fear just audible in her voice.

"Luna? I am... Nightmare Moon! I have but one 'royal duty' now... TO DESTROY THEE!" She screamed the words, shooting another laser directly at Celestia, who leapt into the air once again. The beam smashed into the floor instead, throwing up another cloud of dust. She fled out of the throne room through the hole in the ceiling; true to her word, she was refusing to fight back.

Nightmare Moon gave chase, pausing just long enough to say, "And where dost thou think thou art going?" Launching into the air, she fired beam after beam at the white alicorn, seemingly not caring about what she actually hit in the process. The castle crumbled around her under the power that she unleashed.

They raced around the castle, diving and dodging. Left, right, left, left, over, under, around… finally, as Celestia had swerved back over the throne room, Luna met her mark. Celestia was hit squarely in the chest.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!” She screamed and fell to the floor, lying prone and unresponsive on her side as Luna cackled overhead.

The first thing Celestia was aware of was the ringing in her ears. Slowly, it faded, as her mind came back into focus. The second thing she realized was that everything ached. Her wings were sprawled out awkwardly on the ground and the coldness of the hard stone floor penetrated deep into her bones. As she gradually woke up, she noticed other things: her hair felt like it had stopped its perpetual motion, her chest stung as though it had been punched hard, and she was breathing with difficulty.

In a rush of awareness, she remembered what had just transpired. Luna… the moon… she had been struck… and then she’d been falling… silently, she thanked the Gods for both her superpowered Earth Pony hardiness and her peytral. Without them, she realized, she would have been dead. Panic rushed back into her chest as she heard a maniacal cackling above her. Nightmare Moon was still out there. Her ponies were in danger. Who knew how many had already been injured or--she shuddered internally--killed by the evil mare’s deathly magic? She had to do something. The Princess and war general in her, the pony who had unleashed the Elements of Harmony upon Discord and Sombra, was ready for battle, the simplest explanation being to rise up and strike back with all the might of the Sun’s Divine Light. But something stopped her.

This was still her sister. Celestia didn’t know what had happened to Luna to make her this way, but underneath the black coat and armor, she was still there. Celestia would never turn her back on one of her little ponies who had gone astray into evil; much less with family! Luna was the one being in the world, except perhaps Discord, who shared her immortality. Celestia was a gentle being. She couldn’t bring herself to do harm to any but the most evil beings, beyond redemption and too powerful to safely imprison. But what to do, then?

She squeezed her eyes shut tighter, fighting back the tears and panic that sought to overcome her. Time. What she needed was time to think and plan, time to figure out how to save Luna from whatever had turned her into this Nightmare. But she didn’t have time. Any minute now, Nightmare Moon was going to fly down and make sure Celestia was dead, or start asserting her reign over the rest of the kingdom. Something must be done, and quickly.

Then it hit her. She’d already thought of the answer! She’d brought down Discord and Sombra both in the past, maybe she could defeat Nightmare Moon in the same way. If she was able to cast the spell right, she might be able to purge Luna of this evil and get her sister back. It had been done before, she knew; the artifacts were definitely strong enough to handle and channel the magic.

She took a deep breath, opened her eyes, and struggled to her hooves. As her hair started flowing again, she glanced up at the moon, and turned to the secret panel in the throne room floor.

“O dear sister, I am sorry, but thou hast given me no choice but to use these.”

Nightmare Moon watched as the sunbutt tyrant fell to the ground, screaming. So this was what vengeance felt like. She cackled, reveling in her deeds. Celestia was felled, at last! No more would she be pushed to the sidelines, the insignificant younger Princess! Now, she was a Queen. The taste of victory was sweet indeed, so overwhelmingly… bitter?

A shock ran through her as she came to the realization. She was laughing, not maniacally, but hysterically, somewhere between a cackle and a sob. There was an overpowering feeling in her chest, but it was as joyful as it was broken. Tears were streaming from her catlike eyes, the salty drops leaving wet trails down her cheeks. A hatred still burned inside her--that was to be expected--but it was easily matched by the tempest of other emotions that were each vying for control.

This was exactly what she’d hoped to prevent by taking on this form! The new shape was supposed to be a mask, a surefire way to eliminate any unhelpful emotions. It was supposed to give her power, both magical power drawn from the eclipse and willpower over her feelings. She’d decided it was time to do something about the pain and neglect she’d been feeling, and she couldn’t have that pain getting in her way now. But something had gone wrong.

Her laughter had grown lunatic, and she used her magic to try and calm herself. She wiped the tears away and tried to breathe. But before anything else could happen, a sound from below cut into her thoughts. Looking down, she saw that Celestia had stood up. Impossible! That blow, coupled with the fall, should have killed her! A newfound hatred surged through her once again, and the other emotions subsided. Perhaps, in the back of her mind, there was also a tinge of relief, but she paid no mind to it now. Glancing up at her, Celestia turned aside and spoke.

“O dear sister, I am sorry, but thou hast given me no choice but to use these.”

On the stony floor of the throne room, a troubled yet determined expression written on her face, Celestia lit her horn. A pedestal rose from a secret panel in the floor, bearing five rotating arms. Each held one of five hovering, pristine gemstones, each of a different color. On top of the pedestal rested a large stone sphere. Celestia flew above the structure and took hold of each jewel, one by one, in her magic. Last of all, she pulled a magenta star, six- pointed and larger than the others, through the stone of the sphere on top. The Elements of Harmony were awake once more.

She beat her wings once, strong and powerful, and flew up to where Nightmare Moon was waiting. As the Elements began to spin around her, her mane and tail flowed directly upward. She stopped flapping her wings and held them erect, hovering, borne aloft solely by the power of the Elements. They were spinning so fast now that they had become a rainbow- colored blur. Glowing with a prismatic white light, Celestia faced her sister.

Nightmare Moon lit her horn and braced herself against a base of her sheer power made of flickering white light. Likewise, Celestia prepared herself, her eyes suddenly flooding with tears, as the Elements formed a swirling pink bubble around her. She levitated the Elements into a circular formation, the Element of Magic at its center and slightly forward in preparation for her spell.

Nightmare fired first, this beam the most powerful yet; if it had hit the ground now, a huge explosion would have devastated the earth for miles.Celestia activated the Elements the second after. From the magenta star at the center shot a rainbow of light, guided by the Princess’ golden magic, straight at Nightmare Moon. The Elements easily pushed back Luna's magic, strong though it was, and her pupils dilated to the thinnest slits of black to adjust to the overpowering light. The rainbow beam hit and completely encompassed the Night Princess, blasting her into the sky towards the moon.

"NO!" Luna’s final scream to be heard on Earth for a thousand years rang out across the night. The Elements carried her to the moon itself, which briefly flashed white. A moment later, a formation of craters appeared on the moon, in the shape of Luna's silhouette.

It was done.