Lord Shaxx, Equestrian Crucibus Driver

by FrozenInTime

Rating: everyone
Tags: Crossover, Random, Human
Length: 1858

Lord Shaxx, taking a break from being the Crucible Announcer, ends up in Equestria doing the most violent job he can think of: Bus Driving... in the middle of a Changeling Invasion.

Lord Shaxx needs a break from announcing in the Crucible. So, he ends up in Equestria, announcing in his bus rampage against an invasion of Changelings. This "Crucibus" becomes a safe haven for ponies during Equestria's darkest hour… as well as allowing them to blow stuff up.

No more time to explain! All aboard the Crucibus!

Warning: This is a "No time to explain" style fic. Read at your own risk.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-30 19:56:21 UTC

Don't Even Read This

"Applejack! Get back!" Twilight whispered to the farm pony, who was peeking out the door of the barn they were all hiding in. The sky had turned a deep crimson, giving the place an eerily apocalyptic look. There were no clouds in the sky either.

All of the Element bearers, along with Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom, where hiding inside of the barn at Sweet Apple Acres. None of them dared to step out the door, except Rainbow Dash, who desperately wanted to find Scootaloo.

Several other ponies were in the barn as well, and most were huddling against each other in fear. In total, there were about twenty ponies inside. These were the only ponies who got away from the deceptively familiar faces of the Changelings, a foe they couldn't fight because they never knew when one of there friends would end up being just another imitation.

"If one of them sees us..." Fluttershy didn't want to finish her sentence.

"C'mon guys! We've gone up against Changelings before! We can totally take them on!" Came Rainbow's ever-confident voice.

"In case you've forgotten, dear, they gave us quite the lashing last time we crossed paths with them," came Rarity's voice of reason.

"I agree with Rainbow Dash. We can't just hide in here! We could be the only ones able to protect Ponyville! Who knows if the Princesses even notice what's going on down here? The Changelings could be in Canterlot, too! Oh no... what if they're dead?!" Octavia began freaking out, but she was quickly silenced by Vinyl Scratch.

"I highly doubt the Princesses would be so easily... killed, by a bunch of fancy changing bugs no less."

"You weren't there when they attacked Canterlot, Vinyl..." Rarity tried explaining, but she was cut off by Twilight.

"We're the Elements of Harmony. We can't just sit back and hide this out!"

"Ah don't know if you noticed, princess, but we don't exactly have the Elements anymore. There's nuthin' we can do..."

"But... there must be something! We can't just give up and let them win!" Twilight retorted.

"They've already won..." came Pinkie's somber voice. Her mane had flattened against her head, and her eyes were sunken. Her will was already broken.

The room was bathed in silence as Pinkie Pie's words set in. They all knew what she said was true. They didn't stand a change against a horde of this size.

"Sh-she's right..." mumbled Lyra, who was trying to cheer up Bonbon until now.

"Well I'm not just gonna stay in here while ponies get hurt!" Just as Rainbow Dash was about to break down the barn doors by flying through them, they all froze as they heard a loud horn-like noise.

"Looks like you misjudged your enemy," said an amplified voice from outside the barn. All the ponies inside quickly ran out to investigate the outsider.

What they saw took the breath out of them. It was a large white shuttle-bus, with an emblem of black crossed swords on a red diamond-shaped backdrop. Underneath, 'Cruci-bus' was written in what looked like blood.

The bus looked like it could hold at least one hundred ponies. How something like that could steer, control, or even be handled was a complete mystery.

"You fight to win Guardian. So fight!" said the voice as the doors on the side of the bus opened. Inside, in the driver's seat, was a large bipedal creature in some kind of armor, with one horn on the side of his head. His chest piece was adorned with fur. The one feature everypony noticed right away, however, was that Scootaloo was half-standing, half-sprawled out on his shoulder. Lyra nearly passed out upon seeing the human.

"Hey guys! Is this awesome or what?!" the little Pegasus filly yelled energetically.

The others just began stuttering, making vain attempts to pick their jaws up off the ground.

"Time's running out, Guardians," the man beckoned the ponies forward.

Nopony acknowledged the gesture. They were too busy trying to understand exactly what was going on.

Shrugging, Rainbow Dash jumped aboard the bus. It wasn't like they could help Ponyville anyway, so why not?

One after another, the Element bearers and the two fillies boarded the bus, figuring it couldn't do any additional harm. None of them even bothered to question it anymore. Eventually, everypony was on the bus and sitting on the fuzzy pink seats. The interior was mostly beige, and there was even a restroom in the back.

Lyra took her seat next to Bonbon, and began hyperventilating. Octavia sat next to Vinyl Scratch, Apple Bloom sat next to Sweetie Belle, Fluttershy timidly took her place sitting beside Pinkie Pie (who's mane was no longer flat against her head), and Rarity cautiously sat next to Applejack.

Everypony began mumbling amongst each other, with subjects varying from who this guy was and why they should care, to if this was even real life.

"The name's Lord Shaax. Looking for the Crucible? I am the Crucible."

"The what?" Rainbow asked.

"A crucible is a container for dangerous materials, such as molten metal and toxic chemicals... so I have no idea what he's talking about," Twilight answered, finally taking her seat next to Rainbow.

"I wanna know what he is and why Scootaloo is with him... but for some reason I don't care."

"Why does that not surprise me, Rainbow?"

"Because... I'm me? I don't know... and I don't care.

The engine of the bus revved, silencing the mumbling between ponies.

Lord Shaax firmly gripped the steering wheel and leaned forward.

"Total control."

No Time For Brakes!

Everypony was immediately thrown back into their seats as Shaxx slammed his foot down. Scootaloo was nearly thrown off his shoulder.

"Where are we going?!" Rainbow Dash screamed over the roaring engine.

"Wherever those bug things are. Most likely the center of town. And, if we mess up, Hell." Nopony could tell, but he was grinning behind his helmet.

"But how will you tell the difference between Changelings and Ponies?!" Applejack yelled.

"Excellent Question."

"..."

The only sound was the continued roar of the engine.

"Uh... care to elaborate?" Twilight strained to speak over the noise.

"No."

"Why not?!" Rarity yelled.

Suddenly, some kind of bipedal cyborg-looking creature wearing a cloak appeared in front of her, their faces inches apart.

"I don't even have time to explain why I don't have time to explain!" And just like that, she disappeared again, leaving Rarity with a nervous twitch that took two weeks to go away.

"Get ready, Guardians. We approach."

Right on queue, a horde of Changelings disguised as townsponies appeared over the horizon. Shaxx leaned even closer to the wheel.

"Execute all targets!" He screamed. He pinned the throttle, bringing the engine to it's proverbial knees.

Before they knew it, they were approaching impact. The top of the Town Hall peeked into view.

"You're going to ram right into them!" Twilight half-gasped.

"You're an observant one I see!" Shaxx shot back. "I bet you're the kind of Guardian who sits in the back of the arena, 'calling out' for your team! You make me sick!"

"What if there are real ponies in there?!" Several ponies yelled at once.

"Ugh, you're no fun. Collateral damage is always a hazard! But, if you insist..." He got up from his seat, the steering wheel somehow locking into place automatically as the Crucibus continued forward.

Without warning, he grabbed Lyra by the back of her neck and returned to his seat. He then dangled her out the window.

"Watch your back, Guardian. No one else will!" he said, dropping her.

She rolled a few times as she hit the ground, coming to a stop on a large metal tube.

"What was that?! Why would you throw her out like that?!" Bonbon screamed, running up to Shaxx and ramming into his chest. He didn't even move, but it knocked Scootaloo off his shoulders.

"She's bait."

"Bait?! Are you out of your mind?!" Bonbon had tears running down her eyes.

"Oh, do calm down. She'll be fine. I left her with a Gjallarhorn." He returned his gaze to the horde ahead of them, slowing down and veering off to the left. He slowed down enough for his plan to be set in motion.

Lyra examined the large tube that broke her fall. It was ornately decorated with gold trim and what appeared to be a wolf's head carved near the front. She cautiously picked it up in her magic, and a small piece of paper fell out. She picked that up in her magic as well, and read it to herself.

"Instructions: Just aim and shoot. If you manage to miss, you're a worse shot than Xur on a Tuesday. Um... okay. Let's see if I can do this..."

She levitated the unwieldy beast up to her face, looking through the large circular lens on its side that acted as a sight. She gave the trigger device a gentle tug with her magic.

The Changelings all looked to the Unicorn that had just dropped out of the speeding metal object. The intention here was unclear to them, but they had no idea they were being led into a trap. The few actual ponies in the crown took this moment to slip away, as even the Changelings couldn't tell their own kind apart from themselves when there were so many disguised.

This was all part of Shaxx's plan, believe it or not. I have a hard time believing it myself, I mean... all he does is complain when you don't do a good enough job killing each other. That, and sell you armor that you'll just get from an engram later anyway.

They all charged Lyra. They didn't even slow down when they saw a small fireball heading their way. They didn't stop when the frontmost Changeling realized it was curving through the air directly towards him.

It slammed directly into the Changeling, reducing him to dust before the explosion even passed his entire body. It split off into small diamond-shaped objects that let off a faint buzzing. These objects, like the original missile, curved and arced through the air to find their targets, each causing another large explosion.

When all the chaos had passed, over half the Changelings were decimated. That was before the second rocket.

Lord Shaxx laughed loudly (ugh, try saying that ten times fast) as the Crucibus rammed through the remaining Changelings. His plan had worked perfectly.

The ponies on the bus all cheered as the first horde had been eliminated.

"No time for celebration, Guardians. Battles don't always win wars."

Nopony even cared that he was calling them all 'Guardians'. None of them had a clue what he was talking about, but something was making them not care.

"There are many more hordes. How do you plan on taking them all on?" Scootaloo asked, taking her place back on his shoulder.

"With the help of all the Guardians here. You all hear that?! I'm not doing all the heavy lifting here! Oh and besides..." he cleared his throat.

"Heavy Ammo Inbound."