“Yea, yea, yea, ‘cuz we’re all awesome as we wanna be!”
Rainbow Dash shredded through the finale, her heart beating so fast it hurt. The sound of her guitar ripped through the air, shaking the stage like an earthquake. She managed to get in two seconds of intense headbanging before the rest of the band faded out and she ended her riff on an echoing high note. Covered in sweat, she leaped forward and ripped the microphone out of its stand.
“We’re the Rainbooms!” she screamed, voice cracking. “Thank you and good night!” She closed her eyes and waited for the crowd to demand an encore.
Aside from her panting, the bar went silent. A couple sitting in the back spared them a quiet golf clap before returning to their drinks. The bartenders kept polishing cups. The few men sitting at the bar didn’t even lift their heads.
Rainbow’s wings and pony ears popped out of existence. Scowling, she took in an atmosphere-worth of breath and grabbed the mic again, but before she could say a word, Applejack ran up and turned the microphone off. “I ain’t letting you get us banned from another club,” she hissed into Rainbow’s ear.
“But they’re totally dissing us!” Rainbow said, jabbing a finger in the general direction of their audience. “We just blew the roof off this place, and they can’t even take the time to throw us a bouquet of roses or anything? We’ve literally got magic growing out of us!”
“I think they know that,” Rarity muttered. “There’s been at least twelve newspaper articles about us since the Battle of the Bands. It’s why every stage in town seems so reticent to hire us.” She sighed. “Evidently, musical wizardry is out of style this season.”
“I’d say they’re probably just a bit nervous. After all, nobody wants evil pony-demons crashing through their windows,” Applejack said with a chuckle. She patted Rainbow on the back. “Just appreciate that we got this chance. Not every gig can be some big battle for the fate of mankind.”
“But if they were, wouldn’t that be awesome?” Pinkie said, hitting her sticks together rhythmically. “I mean, not that this gig wasn’t awesome, because it was! We rocked harder than one of Maudie’s obsidian piles! And the people here are so nice!” She pointed a stick at one of the barkeepers. “They actually let us play all our songs and didn’t kick us out!”
Rarity nodded. “Yes, I suppose this club is rather”—she stepped over a puddle of dark liquid—“quaint. Very folk rock.”
“I liked the audience,” Fluttershy said, gesturing to the dozens of empty tables in front of the stage.
“Whatever,” Rainbow said. Rolling her eyes, she unplugged her guitar from the amp and grabbed her case. “Let’s just get paid and get out of here.”
“Ooh, they’re paying us?” Pinkie asked. “Don’t we usually end up paying them?”
“Well, seeing as how Rainbow managed to not curse out the crowd or break something tonight,” Applejack said, smirking at a fuming Rainbow, “we’re finally getting some hard-earned cash. How much was it again, RD?”
The red faded from Rainbow’s face. “Two-hundred dollars,” she said, grinning. Her bandmates all gasped. “Yeah, that’s what I said!”
Rarity slung her keytar case over her back. “Well, where is our generous employer?”
“I dunno.” Rainbow shrugged and looked around. “The owner said he’d meet us when we were done playing. He’ll probably be out in a few.”
The next few minutes were spent cleaning up the stage. Instruments were put into cases, wires were stuffed into bags, and amps were shoved across floors. Fluttershy was able to fit her tambourine in her backpack—Pinkie Pie had managed to balance every part of her drum set on her back and keep them completely steady. By the time the Rainbooms had packed everything away safely in Applejack’s truck, about fifteen minutes had passed, and the owner still hadn’t appeared.
Standing on the empty stage, the five exchanged glances. “He’s probably just running late,” Applejack said. “Making a phone call or something like that.”
“Let’s take a seat and wait for him,” Rarity suggested. The band climbed off the stage and sat down at one of the many empty tables, where Rarity started playing with her phone, Pinkie Pie started making origami with a napkin, and Fluttershy, Rainbow, and Applejack compared opinions on their performance. They barely noticed when a tall, svelte woman in a t-shirt and an apron walked up to them.
She cleared her throat, and every head snapped up. She flipped open a notebook. “What can I get ya to drink?”
“No thanks,” Rainbow said, turning back to Applejack. “We’re just waiting for someone.”
The waitress crossed her arms. “You can’t just sit here. You have to order something.”
“Uh, okay. I’ll have a soda, I guess.” Rainbow frowned; she could almost hear her already-starving wallet cry out in pain. The others all answered the same, except for Pinkie Pie, who ordered three glasses of fruit punch.
At that, the waitress stopped writing and, for the first time since they had sat down, took a moment to look each one of them over, one brow raised high. “Could I see your IDs, please?” she asked. Each girl fished out their wallets and took out their Canterlot High School IDs. They held them up to the waitress, who took one look before scowling and putting a hand on her hip. “Is this a joke?”
Fluttershy flinched. “What’s wrong, Miss?”
“You gotta be twenty-one to be in here,” the waitress said. “I don’t know how you got in, but you all gotta leave.”
“What are you talking about, 'leave?'” Rainbow said, banging a fist on the table. “We just played a set on your stage!”
The waitress lidded her eyes. “Does it look like I care?”
“Not really,” Pinkie chirped, fiddling with her origami crane.
“Please, miss,” Applejack said, standing up. “I think this is just a big misunderstanding. I reckon if you let us just talk to the owner, we’ll be out of your hair lickety-split!”
“Nuh-uh. Mr. Brew doesn't like talking to customers.” The waitress flicked her eyes at Rainbow’s head. “Especially not a bunch of whiny teenagers.”
“Who the heck are you calling whiny?” Rainbow yelped, jumping up and leaning into the waitress.
“You,” the waitress with a grin, before calling over her shoulder, “Big Bones, can you gimme a little help here?”
The ground shook. Every face paled as a man, torso wider than a freight train, stomped up to them. His eyes were hidden by a greasy forest of black hair, and five metal rings hung from each side of his bottom lip. A flaming, bleeding serpent ran down the length of his muscled arm. He towered over the table, blotting out all light.
Rarity and Pinkie took a step away from the table, while Fluttershy shrieked and hid behind them. Applejack grabbed Rainbow’s arm. “It’s okay, Dash, we can come back some other time—“
“No,” Rainbow said, craning her neck to look Big Bones in the eye. She barely came up to his shoulders. “I want my money, and I’m not leaving until I get it.”
“Whoa!”
Rainbow landed on the sidewalk stomach-first, stealing the wind from her lungs. She shuddered as she climbed to her feet and, face going green, stumbled over to a parking meter to use as support. "You, you guys—" She paused to point a shaking finger at the bar. "You guys are jerks!"
One by one, the rest of the Rainbooms were shoved out of the bar, left to stand and stare as the door slammed shut. Rarity pouted. "Well, they were rather rude."
"And scary," Fluttershy said.
Rainbow pushed past them and walked up to the door before balling up her fists and yelling, "I want my money!" Her voice echoed along the empty street. She moved to open the door.
"Rainbow, stop!" Applejack grabbed her arm. "You're just gonna make things worse."
Growling, Rainbow spun around and threw her arms into the air. "We played for half-an-hour! We deserve to be paid."
Applejack spared her a smile. "I agree. But right now, I care more about making sure we don't all get our heads busted in at some seedy bar." She pulled out her car keys. "Listen, I bet the Burger Box is still open—"
"I'm not leaving until I get my money." Rainbow sat down next to the door and crossed her arms.
Pinkie bounced up and bent over to meet her eyes. "C'mon, Dashie! It's after nine, so we can get two burgers and a shake for a dollar!"
Fluttershy rubbed her arms as a stiff breeze rolled through. "You’ll catch a cold if you stay out here.”
"Don’t care, not moving." Rainbow tucked her arms into her shirt and turned up her nose. "If you guys are cool with getting treated like trash, be my guest. But I want some respect."
Everyone groaned. Applejack rubbed her face and sighed. “Alright, listen. How about one of us just goes back inside to see if we can talk to someone? You know, explain the situation, act like adults—not throw a temper tantrum outside.”
Rarity walked up to her side and smirked. “I’ll go. I’ve always liked to think of myself as rather mature for my age.”
Rainbow started to get up. “I’m coming with you.”
“Oh, no you ain’t.” Applejack put a hand on Rainbow’s shoulder, stopping her from getting up. “I hate to say it, RD, but I don’t think you’re gonna be of much help in this situation. Just let us handle it, okay?” Rainbow rolled her eyes, but sat back down and glared out into the street. Applejack looked to the rest of her friends. “You want anyone to come with you, Rare?”
Rarity tapped her chin. “Hm… Oh, Fluttershy, why don’t you tag along?”
“Me?” Fluttershy squeaked. “I don’t know, Rarity. I’m not very good at explaining things—much less situations. Situations make me nervous.”
“Oh, it’ll be fine, darling!” Rarity wrapped an arm around Fluttershy’s shoulders. “You’re much more charming than you give yourself credit for, you know. One look at your adorable face and they’ll be scrambling to correct their mistake!”
Somehow, the building seemed even mustier than when they had left just a minute earlier. The hanging lights overhead flickered with each step they took. Fluttershy walked with a hunch, trying to make herself as small as possible. It took a nudge from Rarity for Fluttershy to realize that she was clutching the back of her friend’s shirt. She moved away and gulped.
The waitress from before—along with her colossus of a friend—was nowhere to be found. The girls walked up to the bar counter, right in front of a short, stocky man with half-moon glasses. He was vigorously polishing a shot glass, a bored expression on his face.
Rarity raised a finger. “Ah, sir?”
He didn’t answer.
She waved. “Hello? Could we have some assistance, please?”
He sniffed and put down the shot glass on a counter behind him, turning his back to them.
“Sir!” Rarity yelped, leaning over the counter. “I am trying to speak to you!”
The man jumped, very nearly dropping his glass. He spun around and stormed up to Rarity, forcing her to retreat. “My god, woman! I’m right here, you don’t have to yell! What? What do you want?” He looked at Fluttershy, scanning her up-and-down. “I don’t serve hippies.”
Fluttershy looked down at her clothes and frowned. “I’m not a hippie..."
“We don’t mean to be a bother,” Rarity said, putting on her most genial smile, “but is there any way we could speak to the owner of this fine, fine establishment?”
“No, you can’t,” the man said. He scoffed. “Mr. Brew doesn’t just talk to anyone. What is he, a hippie?”
“Sir?” Fluttershy murmured. “Can we please, please see him? Just for a minute? He owes us some money, and—“
The bartender exploded with a great guffaw. Both girls took a step back to avoid the downpour of spit. He took off his glasses and rubbed the tears from his eyes. “That’s a good one!” His laughter died in a split-second. He leaned forward, glowering. “Why in the world would Mr. Brew owe you money?”
Rarity forced a chuckle. “Well, we did just finish playing a set on your stage.”
“What? When?”
The girls exchanged a glance. “We finished just a few minutes ago,” Fluttershy said. “We were playing for half-an-hour.”
“Well, I didn’t hear you,” he said. He turned away from them to go polish another glass. “Buncha hippies begging for handouts,” he grumbled.
“We’re not hippies!” Rarity said loudly, just barely managing to keep her smile. She grabbed Fluttershy’s arm and pulled her up to the counter. “Please, sir. My adorable bandmate here needs that money very badly! Her… her puppy needs surgery!”
“He does?!” Fluttershy gasped, spinning to look at Rarity. Rarity kicked her in the shin. “O-ow! Oh, uh, I mean, um—yes! He’s in so much pain from his… leg? His leg, yes, that’s it!” She clasped her hands together and puffed out her bottom lip. “Please, sir! All I want is to play fetch with him again!”
The two grinned toothily. The barkeeper squinted at them. “Hey,” he said, adjusting his glasses. “How old are you two?”
Their grins fell.
“Aiyee!”
Applejack tried to catch Rarity before she landed, but they both just ended up tumbling into a heap on the sidewalk. Sitting on Applejack’s back, Rarity brushed her now-mussed-up hair out of her face and yelled, “This is no way to treat a lady!” She squealed as Applejack pushed her off.
Back at the entrance, Big Bones was holding the door open for Fluttershy. She walked out and smiled back at him. “Thank you, Mr. Bones. That was very kind of you.”
His pierced cheeks went red. He let out what sounded like an appreciative grunt, and closed the door, just in time for Rainbow to slam her entire body into it. “Let us in!” she screamed, banging on the glass. “I want my money! I want my respect!”
“Rainbow, simmer down!” Applejack pulled her back. “You’re gonna get the cops called on us!”
“Why?! They’re the crooks!”
“You think I don’t know that? I was just as excited to get that money as you. But it’s time to face facts.” Applejack turned to the rest of the group. “We got swindled, and that’s all there is to it. They saw a bunch of young kids coming, and they took advantage of us.”
Rarity sighed. “It’s just so frustrating.”
“Why don’t we get an adult to go in for us?” Fluttershy asked. “One of our parents, or—“
“What, and show them that they were right? That we’re just a bunch of little kids?” Rainbow said. Fluttershy didn’t answer.
“It stinks being a teenager,” Pinkie said, pouting. “If only we had a time machine, so we could all convince our parents to give birth to us three years earlier, so then we’d be twenty-one and could go inside!”
“Wait a second,” Rainbow said, perking up. She threw her hands into the air. “I’ve got it!”
Pinkie gasped and grabbed Dash’s jacket. “You have a time machine?!”
“What? No.” Rainbow brushed her off. “But I do have an idea. The reason we keep getting kicked out is because we’re too young, right?” She waited for everyone to nod. “Then why don’t we just make ourselves older?”
Applejack raised an eyebrow. “What are you getting at?”
“Just wait here,” Rainbow said. She walked away and pulled out her phone. “I’ve gotta make a call.”
As the moon rose, the temperature only fell. Leaves and litter skittered down the street with every gust of wind. The Rainbooms shivered as they sat against the building, huddled as close as they could be without things becoming awkward. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie had both buttoned up their jackets, and Rarity had pulled out a scarf, but they were of little use in the chilly March air.
They had been passing the time with some idle chit-chat; school, the upcoming spring break, Pinkie claiming she could fit both her fists in her mouth at once. That is, except for Applejack. Applejack sat on the far side, staring straight ahead, a flat frown etched into her face. Every few minutes, she would sigh loudly.
It had been about twenty minutes since Rainbow had made her call—which she refused to elaborate on any further than “Don’t worry about it!”—and Applejack was on her tenth moan. As Pinkie balled up her fists and opened her mouth, Rainbow leaned over to look at Applejack. “What’s up with you?” she asked. “You sick or something?”
“Yeah—I’m sick of sitting in the cold!” Applejack shot a glare back at her. “Can’t we just go sit in the truck? Heater might be busted, but at least we can close the windows.”
“No, no, she’ll be here any second! If we leave now, we’re gonna miss her.” Rainbow closed her eyes and leaned back, rubbing her arms. “Besides, we can barely fit in that thing. I don’t wanna sit in that deathtrap any longer than I have to.”
“Hey, my Granny got me that truck!”
“Doesn’t make it any more comfortable,” Rainbow said. Applejack leaned over to smack her on the shoulder, but missed as Rainbow leaped to her feet. “She’s here!”
The sound of scraping metal rang through the air as a car turned onto their street—the first they had seen in an hour. It shook and jangled as it drove, and it was covered in so much rust that nobody could tell exactly what color it was supposed to be. The license plate, hanging just above a dented fender, read “H4RDC0RE”.
Rarity shuffled closer to Applejack. “Who is that?” she whispered. Applejack shrugged.
Rainbow Dash sprinted to the curb, just as the car rumbled to a stop. The passenger window rolled down, and a girl leaned out. Her messy white hair fell down into her eyes, which were smothered in purple eyeliner. A bent cigarette hung from her lips.
She plucked it out and smiled. “Hey, Dash,” she said.
“Hey, G!” Rainbow chirped, putting on a wide grin. She held up her hand for a high-five, which Gilda just stared at until she put it down.
Rarity started to comment again, but was cut short as Fluttershy, face pale as a sheet, grabbed her shoulder and hid her face behind it. Pinkie Pie gasped and jumped up. “Hi, Gilda!” she called, waving her arms frantically.
Gilda cringed and took a glance over Rainbow’s shoulder. “Is that Fluttershy? And Plonkie, or whatever? Why are you hanging out with those dweebs?”
Rainbow’s grin shook. “They’re my friends,” she said through gritted teeth. “We’re in a band.”
“Yeesh.” Gilda took a drag on her cigarette. “Things have changed since I graduated.”
Dash looked around before leaning into Gilda. “Do you have it?”
“Geez, you don’t gotta be so secretive about it. You’re making me feel guilty. Hey, hold this for a sec?” Gilda held out her cigarette, which Rainbow grabbed at the tip and held far off to the side. Gilda fell back into her car and dug around under the seat for a minute, pulling out food wrappers, crumpled papers, and the occasional pair of underwear. After a minute, she chuckled and took out a small envelope. She handed it to Rainbow.
“I knew the day would come when you’d ask me for this,” she said, snickering. She reached up and ruffled Rainbow’s hair. “My little Dashie is growing up!”
Rainbow pulled away. Patting down her hair, she muttered, “Okay, thanks!” and started to walk away. She had made it halfway across the sidewalk before Gilda cleared her throat, freezing her in her tracks. She slowly turned around.
With a single finger, Gilda beckoned for Dash to come back. “I think you’re forgetting something.”
“Oh. Right.” She reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out her wallet. Hands trembling, she opened it up and peered inside the cavern. She forced herself to look up at Gilda. “All I have is ten bucks,” she said, pulling out a bill.
Any pretense of friendliness on Gilda’s face flashed away for a split-second, sending Rainbow’s stomach flying. She smoothed her hair back. “Anything for you, Dash,” she muttered, snatching the ten-dollar bill from Rainbow’s hand. She shoved it into her pocket and climbed back into the driver’s seat. “Give me a call sometime!” she yelled as the engine sputtered to life. “It’ll be just like old times.” She waited for Rainbow to smile and nod, then drove off.
Rainbow coughed through the cloud of exhaust, then rolled her eyes. “Yeah, right.” She walked back to her friends, looking at the envelope.
Everyone went to meet her. Pinkie hopped up to Rainbow and pointed at the envelope. “Whatcha got there, Dashie?”
“It’s our ticket into this stupid place,” Rainbow said. She tore the envelope open and pulled out a small, pale card. Puffing out her chest, she held the card up for all to see. Everyone squinted and leaned in to get a look.
Rarity frowned. “You bought a fake ID.”
“Shh! Do you want us to get caught?” Rainbow stuffed the ID in her pocket and took a few glances around. “This is gonna get us inside.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait just a goshdarn minute!” Applejack said, putting her hands up. “Don’t think for a second that I’m about to let you use that thing.”
“Ugh, why not?”
Applejack lidded her eyes. “Oh, I don’t know. Might be the little fact that it’s illegal?”
“Oh, whatever. It’s not like it’s hurting anybody!” Rainbow narrowed her eyes and jabbed a finger into Applejack’s chest. “Besides, you do illegal stuff all the time. Remember last year, when you stole the Hoofington High School soccer mascot’s costume as a prank?”
“Wha…?” Applejack scowled and slapped Rainbow’s finger away. “You were the one who did that! I was the one who made you give it back!”
“Whatever!” Rainbow sputtered again. “If it makes you feel better, I’ll throw it away as soon as we’re done with it. Okay? Or are you still offended?”
Applejack snorted and turned away. Pinkie Pie scratched her head. “Wait—doesn’t everyone who works there already know how old we all are? Ooh, are you going to erase their memories, like in the movies?” Everybody looked to Rainbow expectantly.
“No, I'm not. Look, this is the only plan we've got! Do you guys want our paycheck, or not?” She offered them all a wide grin—nobody could meet her eyes. She scowled and pushed through them, making her way to the door. "Fine, be that way. I'll get our money myself."
As she walked inside, she took a deep breath and held her head high, throwing as much confidence into her gait as she could manage. In the back of her mind, she imagined some sophisticated businesswoman you might see on TV, strutting down a hallway in an expensive suit. Like, a CEO or something. A CEO of being awesome, she thought with a chuckle. Within a second, she bit her lip—sophisticated businesswomen with expensive suits did not chuckle.
Her chin was so high that she could barely see where she was walking. She could just feel herself reaching peak maturity levels when she bumped into a table and tripped to the floor. She cursed silently, but stopped and looked up as a shadow enveloped her. A young man holding a dishcloth was standing over her.
Face heating up, she gulped and stumbled to her feet. “Uh, hey!” she chirped, voice cracking. “How’s it going?”
He narrowed his eyes. “You’re not supposed to be in here.”
“Oh, yeah?” she said with a smirk. “Says who?”
“Says everyone you and your friends harassed tonight. You’re not old enough to be in here,” he said, earning a scoff from Rainbow. She fished around in her pocket and plucked out a card, then held it up. The busboy looked at it, then nodded. “Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about!”
“Huh?” Rainbow looked at the card she had taken out—it was her CHS ID. She managed to catch the yelp before it left her throat. Sweat pouring down, she threw the school ID far behind her and belted out a laugh. “Wrong card! Oh, I’m such a kidder!” As his face tightened, she pulled out another card—she checked to make sure it was the fake ID this time—and held it up. “Here we are!”
He took it from her and scanned it. With a quiet sigh, he shot her a look. “You’re serious?”
“Of course I am!” Rainbow chuckled and put a hand on her chest. “My soccer coach convinced me to hold myself back so I could keep winning championships, and that’s why I still have my school ID. But I’m 21, no doubt about it.”
He pointed to the date of birth on the card. “This says you’re 37 years old.”
Rainbow’s entire body wilted. It was at that moment that she remembered why Gilda actually had been held back.
“Aaugh!”
Rainbow managed to land on her rear this time, but still cringed from the pain. One hand rubbing her aching rump, she sprinted up to the door and banged her fist against the wood. “You can’t do this to us! We’re the Rainbooms! We’re best friends with the pony Princess of Equestria!” She paused to take a few panting breaths before throwing her head into the sky. “We’re never playing here again!” she screamed, her voice hoarse. Her knees buckled under her, and she crumpled to the ground.
Behind her, her four bandmates shivered. Fluttershy wrung her hands. “Um, I don’t mean to be a bother, but it’s getting late…”
“Yeah, and I’m starving; I haven’t eaten a meal in four hours!” Pinkie said, holding her stomach. “Burger Box is gonna close soon!”
“Well? Ya’ll got this foolishness out of your system yet?” Applejack asked, crossing her arms. She waited for an answer, but when nothing came, she reached for Rainbow’s shoulder. “C’mon, we’re—Sugarcube, are you crying?”
“No,” Rainbow spat, snapping to her feet and wiping her face. Clouds of red swirled through her face. “I’m not!”
Everyone stared. Applejack bit her lip and put a hand on Rainbow’s back. “It’s okay, RD. There’ll be other gigs—“
“It’s not okay!” Rainbow walked away. With an angry grunt, she kicked a rusted can far down the street. “Ever since the Battle of the Bands, no one will hire us. This was supposed to be our first big gig. We’ve been looking forward to it for months, and we prepared and practiced—heck, I even let Rarity use that stupid perfume of hers on me. And then we go in and play our hearts out, and now what?” She balled up her shaking fists and spun around. “No one even listened to us! We were just playing to an empty room! And then they just kicked us out like we were nothing.”
Shaking her head, she rested her back against the building and slid to the ground. “It was awful, yeah. But I just wanted something to show for it.”
There was silence as everyone exchanged concerned glances. Applejack gulped and went to sit down next to her. “Uh… I’m sorry, Rainbow.”
Rainbow had buried her head in her knees. “Yeah.”
“No, really!” Applejack said. “I swear, I feel like a right mule.”
Rarity nodded. “I don’t think we realized how much this actually meant to you. I don’t mean to offend you, Rainbow, but I think we all just figured you were being, ah…”
“Stubborn?” Pinkie tried.
“I suppose so,” Rarity murmured, shooting Pinkie a sideways glance. “Although I may not have put it quite like that.”
“I think what they’re trying to say,” Applejack said, “is that you’re always so upbeat and eager about everything, that we figured not even this could really get you down. So, we’re sorry.” Everyone shuffled around and pulled Rainbow into a tight group hug.
Rainbow managed a chuckle as she was crushed by their love. “Okay, okay, I forgive you!” she said, pushing them away. Applejack helped her to her feet, where she rubbed her eyes and sniffled a few more times. “I dunno. Maybe I am just being stubborn—“
“No, you’re not,” Rarity said. “You’re right: we’ve worked for far too long to just give up on this. We deserve to be paid our fair share. We’ll all help you get our money. Right, girls?” Everyone cheered.
“You guys are the coolest,” Rainbow said. She looked at the front door and frowned. “But how are we supposed to get back in there? There’s no way they’ll even talk to us now.”
“Ooh, ooh!” Pinkie chirped, throwing her hand into the air. “Pick me, pick me!” The others hesitated before nodding and asking her to speak. Pinkie grinned and pointed toward the parking lot they had parked the truck in. “Why don’t we just go in through the basement?”
There was a pause. Rainbow tilted her head. “The what?”
“You know, the basement! We walked past the entrance when we were putting our instruments in the truck,” Pinkie explained. “There’s an entrance outside, and it leads all the way up into the bar! We could sneak in that way, and no one would ever notice!”
“Huh,” Applejack said, tipping her hat. “That ain’t too bad of an idea!”
Rainbow facepalmed. “Why the heck didn’t I think of that?”
The wooden basement door, mottled with mold, creaked as the Rainbooms pushed it open. Light from the streetlamps outside poured in, revealing a dusty room filled with broken, sagging cardboard boxes. They could taste the must in the air. They stepped inside, and the door flew shut behind them, eliciting a unified yelp.
“Ah, darlings,” Rarity said in a quivering voice, “I don’t suppose one of you could find a light switch?”
Everyone stumbled forward, trying their best to avoid stepping in a puddle of muck. They held their arms out in front of them as they walked, so that they could avoid walking into the walls and boxes, but it just led to them hitting each other. It took her third slap in the face from Pinkie for Rainbow to scowl, find the nearest wall, and just lean against it, waiting for the light to come on.
Applejack walked into a thin string hanging from the ceiling. She tugged on it, and a dim light bulb above them flickered to life.
Rainbow Dash winced at the sudden light, covering her eyes. When she looked at her friends, however, every single one of them had turned a sickly white, and were staring at her. She raised a brow. “What’s up?”
Fluttershy’s entire body was vibrating. She managed to raise a finger and point at Rainbow.
Rainbow opened her mouth to speak, but stopped short. With a chill, she realized: they weren’t staring at her. They were staring past her. She spun around to look at the wall she had been leaning against.
Big Bones stared down at her. His heaving breaths smelled of pickles.
The girls shrieked and ran. Rainbow Dash tripped over herself trying to get away, very nearly spilling to the floor. Big Bones belted out a loud grunt and walked after them, footsteps shaking the ground. They sprinted to the door. Applejack pulled and tugged at the doorknob, but it didn’t budge. They spun back around and pressed their bodies against the wall, trying to get as far away as possible from the raging beast hurtling toward them—
“Stop!”
Big Bones slid to a halt. Standing in front of the huddle was Fluttershy. Her eyes had gone wide and deep, and her eyebrows had furrowed up. Nobody was able to look away—least of all Big Bones, whose entire frame seemed to shrink at the sight. She put her fists on her hips and stomped up to him. “Just what do you think you’re doing?”
He didn’t respond.
“You’ve been pushing my friends and me around all night, and now you’ve just showed up to scare us! That’s so, so… rude!” Fluttershy said. She walked forward, forcing Big Bones back. “All we wanted is the money we earned. How dare you attack us!”
By this point, Big Bones was cowering against the other wall. Fluttershy leaned in. “What do you have to say for yourself?”
Big Bones shook. He whimpered, then let out an ear-splitting wail.
Everyone threw their hands to their ears. Fluttershy’s eyes softened. “Oh!” she sputtered. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean—“
“Agh, Fluttershy!” Rainbow yelled over the bawling. “Make him stop! Someone’s gonna hear!”
“Uh, um…” Fluttershy’s head spun between Big Bones and her friends. She put on a comforting smile and leaned down to touch Big Bones’ shoulder. Awkwardly, she tried to prop him up for a hug. “It’s okay…?” she tried. She rubbed his back. “It’s okay. I’m sorry for scolding you.”
The weeping began to slow, until it was but a loud sniffling. Fluttershy moved to back away, but gasped as Big Bones pulled her in for a hug of his own. Face going purple, she gave him a few flailing pats on the back. “I’m glad you’re feeling better—urk!”
The others ran up to them. “Hey, buddy,” Rainbow said as she and Applejack pried Fluttershy out of his arms. “How about keeping your hands to yourself?”
Big Bones grunted wistfully as Fluttershy moved away. She shook her head. “It’s alright,” she said through heavy breaths. “It’s my fault, anyway—I hurt his feelings. I’m sorry again, Mr. Bones.” He smiled and blushed.
“Uh-huh,” Rainbow deadpanned. She held her hand out to Applejack. “Okay, AJ: gimme your rope.”
“What?” Fluttershy gasped. She wrapped an arm around Big Bones, who was cowering again. “Why?”
“Why the heck do you think he was even down here? They’re trying to keep us out!” Rainbow said. “If we just let him go, he’s gonna throw us out again, and our plan is gonna be ruined.” She gestured to Applejack again. “C’mon, AJ. Rope.”
Applejack scowled. “What in tarnation are you talking about?”
“You know, your lasso.”
“Do you seriously think I just carry a lasso around with me wherever I go?” Applejack said, glancing around. Everyone shot her a look. She rolled her eyes and growled. “Okay, I do, but I’m not tying anybody up.”
“Then what are we supposed to do with him?” Rainbow asked. She paused as Pinkie’s hand shot up into the air again. She sighed. “Yes, Pinkie?”
Pinkie cheered silently and spun to face Big Bones. “Hiya, Mr. Bones!” she said with a wave. “Hey, that’s a super-duper cool name! ‘Cuz, like, you’re big, and you have bones, so it’s perfect!” She paused. “Anyway, could you sneak us upstairs so we can talk to your boss?”
“That's genius!” Rainbow said, grabbing Pinkie’s shoulder. She jabbed a finger at Big Bones. “You heard her. Take us to your leader.”
“Hrm…” Big Bones mumbled. He frowned and scratched his head.
“We don’t want to force you to do anything,” Fluttershy murmured to him. “But we would appreciate the help.”
Rainbow leaned into him. “Also: you help us, and Fluttershy here will go on a date with you.”
Fluttershy’s entire body went rigid. “What?!”
Not even taking the time to blush, Big Bones stood up and walked over to the door leading upstairs. He gestured for the group to follow. They all cheered and formed a huddle behind him before heading up the stairs.
Big Bones’s shoulders were as wide as an SUV. The five girls were able to fit behind him easily, leaving room to spare. Every few moments Rainbow would steal a look at where they were walking. Big Bones lead them upstairs, through the backstage area, and into the back of the bar. Everyone smiled at one another. “We may actually pull this off!” Rarity whispered.
“Hey, Bones!”
Big Bones froze in his tracks, and everyone following crashed right into his back. Rainbow peered around his arm, but whipped her head back. “There’s someone coming!” she said. Big Bones stood up a bit straighter as the group behind him huddled tighter. He was silent as the short, stocky bartender waltzed up to him.
“What’re you doing?” the bartender asked, staring up at him. “I sent you to grab an empty box five minutes ago! Where is it?”
Big Bones gave a low grunt.
“Going to see Mr. Brew…? What, why?”
Another grunt, a bit faster this time.
The bartender rolled his eyes. “That man can’t do anything without help. Well, whatever. As soon as you’re done, get me that box. I need to move some stuff into the basement.” He waited for Big Bones to nod before turning away. The group let out a collective breath. But they had barely taken in another breath when the bartender stopped and spun back around. He marched up to Big Bones and narrowed his eyes.
He pushed up his glasses. “You smell like hippies.”
Pinkie, Rainbow, and Applejack shared confused looks, while Rarity and Fluttershy bit their lips. Big Bones didn’t give any response, other than frowning. Behind some greasy locks of hair, he looked away.
The bartender focused his glare. Just as it seemed like he was going to press further, he scowled and walked away. “You need to bathe, Bones!” he called. He rounded a corner and disappeared.
Everyone—Big Bones included—let out a sigh of relief. They walked down the hallway and stopped at a wooden door with a plaque reading “Rich Brew” at the top. Big Bones stepped aside to let them through. Rainbow held up her fist. “Thanks, man.” Big Bones returned the gesture, and Rainbow could have sworn her hand was broken. Clutching her throbbing palm, Rainbow pushed the door open.
The office inside was wide, and compared to the bar outside, the lights were blinding. A long desk rested at the other end of the room, and behind it sat a man they could only assume was Mr. Brew. His limbs were thin and lanky—he looked more like a collection of sticks than a person. He was tapping at a keyboard when they entered. He flicked a glower at them. “May I help you?”
“Yeah, you can.” Rainbow stepped forward and matched his glare with one of her own. “We’re the Rainbooms. You know, the band that you hired”—she clenched her teeth—“and never paid?”
“The Rain…? Oh!” Brew stood up. “That’s right! I’ve been—“
“Oh, no. Don’t think you can explain yourself out of this one.” Rainbow stepped forward and slammed her hands down on the desk, forcing him back down into his seat. “We played a full set for your stupid bar, then you just threw us out! What, you think that just because we’re teenagers you can take advantage of us like that?” She grinned. “Think again. We’re the Rainbooms! We’ve shot rainbow lasers at demon horses! We’re not about to get—AJ, what was the word you used?”
Applejack furrowed her brow. “Swindled?”
“Yeah, that! We’re not about to get swindled out of what’s ours!” Rainbow thrust out a hand, making Brew flinch. “Pay up,” she said in the grittiest voice she could muster, “or things are gonna get messy.”
Brew stared at her open palm and frowned. “If you wanted your money so badly, why did you leave?”
“We didn’t leave,” Pinkie said. She pointed a finger back in the direction of the bar. “Your meanie-pants employees kicked us out!”
“What? That’s not right,” Brew said. “I walked out a few minutes after you finished, but you weren’t there. I assumed you had forgotten, and I was going to just mail you the check.”
“Oh.” A light pink filled Rainbow’s cheeks. She looked away and pursed her lips. “Well, we didn't forget. We want the money now.”
Brew nodded and dug around in his pocket. The Rainbooms stared in awe as he took out a massive wad of bills. Rainbow could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. She covered her mouth and grabbed Applejack’s shoulder, while Applejack patted her on the back. Brew took a moment to flip through the roll—tens, twenties, hundreds flashed out at them. With a satisfied smile, he pulled out a single bill and placed it gingerly in Rainbow’s palm.
Rainbow could barely contain her laughter. Everyone gathered round to gaze at their payment.
It was a ten-dollar bill.
The lull was suffocating. Rainbow, still grinning, looked up at Brew expectantly, but he had put away the roll of bills and sat down. Her face twitched. “Where… where’s the rest?”
He shook his head. “That’s it.”
“What?!” Rainbow shrieked, clenching her fists. The others grabbed her shoulders, doing the best they could to stop her from leaping over the desk and landing them all in prison. “You promised us two-hundred dollars!”
“Yes, I did.” Brew’s smile faded a bit. “But after you left, I took a few minutes to inspect the stage and see how you left it. It appears that, during your concert, you blew out one of our speakers. The money it’ll take to replace the speaker was taken out of your payment.”
“That—but—I, we—“ Rainbow’s entire body had gone crimson. Teeth gnashing, she stomped a foot noiselessly on the carpet and would have just jumped on Brew, had it not been for Applejack holding her by the waist. “Let go of me!” she sputtered.
Applejack dodged Rainbow’s flailing limbs and leaned into her ear. “I think this is as good as it’s gonna get,” she whispered.
“But he…!” Rainbow choked out. The others leveled her with a pleading stare. She snorted a few more times, but managed to swallow the expletives flying through her throat. She pulled out of Applejack’s grasp and cast one last glare at Brew before stuffing the ten-dollar bill in her pocket and walking away. The others followed after.
When they were all out of the office, Rainbow slammed the door behind them. It seemed as if her entire face had become a pout. She crossed her arms and stared straight ahead. Rarity touched her arm. “’Are you alright?”
“I’m fine,” Rainbow hissed through gritted teeth. She sighed. “Let’s just get out of here.”
Everyone walked forward—except for Pinkie Pie. She frowned and looked around. “Hey, where's Fluttershy?” Everyone looked around, but she was nowhere in sight. With a start, they realized: she hadn’t even been in the office with them.
Applejack scratched her head. “Where is that girl…?” Her eyes widened as a great belly laugh filled the hallway.
Everyone spun around to look back at the door to Brew’s office. Sitting on the floor in the corner of the hallway were Fluttershy and Big Bones. They were huddled together and whispering to one another. Every few moments they would laugh together—Fluttershy with her quiet giggle, and Big Bones with a booming guffaw.
Rainbow scowled. “Hey, Fluttershy!” she yelled down the hallway, making both of them jump. “We’re leaving this stupid place!”
Fluttershy nodded and stood up. She leaned down and grabbed Big Bones’s hand. “I’ll see you at Sugarcube Corner, okay?” Big Bones nodded, his ragged hair shaking like strings. She walked to meet up with the rest of her band.
“Ah, Fluttershy, dear,” Rarity said, grimacing. “If I’m not mistaken, Rainbow set you up on a date in order to get us upstairs. You don’t actually have to go through with it.”
“Oh, I don’t mind,” Fluttershy murmured, blushing. “Big Bones may look rough and tough, but he’s actually very sweet. Did you know that he loves bunnies? Or that he’s studying for a degree in art history? And he said that he liked... my wings...” She trailed off as everyone stared. Fluttershy squirmed in her spot. “Uh, did you get the money?”
Rainbow walked away. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
A few minutes later, the five of them were outside in the parking lot. It took about a minute for them all to pile into the tiny truck; Fluttershy had to sit on Rarity’s lap, and Pinkie Pie’s hair smooshed against the ceiling. Applejack, hunched over in the driver’s seat, revved up the engine and pulled out into the street. It was nearly midnight.
Feet propped up on the dashboard, Rainbow stared down at the ten-dollar bill. She only looked up when Applejack rested a hand on her leg and spared her a smile. “I’m sorry that this paycheck of ours wasn’t as big as you thought,” she said.
“I agree,” Rarity said through Fluttershy’s hair. “It really is a shame how this all turned out.”
Rainbow tried to tighten her frown, but it soon broke down into a smile. She shook her head. “It’s fine. There’ll be other gigs, right?” She chuckled as Applejack punched her in the shoulder. “I mean, who cares about some stupid money? We rocked that place! I think that was the best show we’ve ever had!” She turned to look at them all. “We’re freakin' awesome, and that’s all that matters.”
That earned a uniform cheer from the rest of the band. Applejack tipped her hat. “That’s mighty big of you, Sugarcube.”
“And besides, it wasn’t a total bust.” Rainbow held up the crumpled ten-dollar bill. “At least we got paid something. This is more than we’ve ever gotten from any gig before! We’re climbing up the ladder, and there’s no stopping us!” She got another cheer.
The five rode in silence for a few minutes, gazing out at the lush, moonlit countryside. Rainbow could feel herself falling asleep when Applejack let out a soft, “Uh-oh.”
Rainbow’s eyes snapped open. “What 'uh-oh?'”
“Well…” Applejack clicked her tongue as Rainbow leaned over to see what she was looking at. “You mind handing over that ten-dollars?”
The fuel gauge was about a centimeter away from ‘E.’
Rainbow screamed.
