Root of the Problem

by Noir de Plume

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Slice of Life
Length: 1139

When a mysterious creature wanders onto Sweet Apple Acres, it's going to take more than a green thumb, er, hoof, to figure it out.

The Mane Six face an interesting challenge of a "Nature" nature, and who better to enlist in something already absurdly out of hand than everyone's favorite mailmare?

(Some characters to appear in later chapters.)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-01-30 16:50:01 UTC

Chapter 1

            Applejack stepped back and wiped the sweat from her brow with a forehoof.

"Whooeee everypony, thank ya!" she said with a smile. "Wasn't sure we were gonna get all this feed into the barn before the rain hit."

"I don't know how I let myself get talked into such menial labour," Rarity sighed, tossing her mane. Applejack rolled her eyes.

"I take that as 'you're welcome, Applejack.' "

"I like moving things!" Pinkie bounced in circles incessently. "From here, to there, to here, to there, to here-"

"Yes, darling," Rarity interrupted with a tired smile. Pinkie giggled. Fluttershy simply shook her head and brushed off her hooves, landing without a sound at Rarity's side.

A thunderclap rolled in the distance. Fluttershy squeaked.

"Storm's a'comin'," Applejack said with a frown. Bic Mac nodded, dropping the last bag of feed into the pile with his teeth.

"Ee-yup."

"Guess y'all better get packin' back to Ponyville or it's Sweet Apple Acres Bed and Breakfast."

"Oh I can't, I have designs due tomorrow evening," Rarity pouted. "I'd love to stay. You make the best fritters."

"And you let me eat them in bed! I never get to eat in bed!" Pinkie exclaimed happily, nuzzling Applejack. The tan cowpony laughed.

"What nonsense you talkin', girl? Your bed has more crumbs in it than a-"

"......aaaiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnsssssss......"

All five heads popped up, ears alert. The sound came from everywhere and nowhere, carried by the wind, eerie and soft.

"Did y'all hear that?" Applejack asked quietly. Rarity tilted her head. Pinkie Pie blinked twice.

"Hear w-what?" Fluttershy whispered, head lowered.

"......aaaAAAAIIIIIIIInnnnnnnssssssss...." The sound came again, louder, more insistent. Closer.

"That!" Rarity shrieked, eyes wide.

"Everypony, in the barn!" Applejack commanded sternly.

"Ee-yup!" Big Mac agreed, ushering the mares through the doors before ensuring they were shut firmly behind them. Fluttershy trembled and made herself as small as possible. Rarity nuzzled her neck.

"There, there, darling," the unicorn soothed.

"W-what w-w-was that?" the gentle pegasus managed through chattering teeth.

"I haven't the slightest idea," Rarity replied. "But it sounded-"

"Spooky!" exclaimed Pinkie, leaping before the group, flashlight under her chin. Fluttershy shrieked again, curling into a ball. Applejack swatted the party pony.

"What in tarnation are ya tryin' to do, give her a fit?" she scolded. Pinkie wrinkled her nose.

The eerie sound carried again on the wind. Applejack flicked an ear.

"Sounds like..." Her face fell. "Sounds like..."

"Brains," she and Rarity echoed. Pinkie squealed.

"Brains?! Like a zombie?!" she asked, thumping her own head for emphasis before embarking on a lurching shuffle across the barn, growling and drooling.

"W-w-w-what's a z-z-zombie?" Fluttershy asked from her position on the floor.

"It's like a dead pony come back to life, but it wants to eat you," Applejack said softly. She furrowed her brow. "They aren't supposed to be real, just filly tales you tell at the fireside."

The moan was closer now. Fluttershy's ears flattened completely against her skull. She frowned, then arched an eyebrow, and raised an ear again, listening.

"Sounds pretty real to me," Rarity said with noticable discomfort. "Bic Mac, you're the stallion. Be a gentlecolt and go see what that thing is."

The big red pony shook his head violently side to side.

"Nnnn-nope."

"Well I can't be trapped here, undead or no. I have designs due!"

"Brrraaaaaaaaiiiiinnnnnnsssss..." Pinkie moaned from the other side of the barn.

"Pinkamina Dianne Pie! You stop that fool nonsense right now!" Applejack shouted. "Right. There's only one fair way to settle this. Someone has to go see what that thing is."

Bic Mac, Rarity, and Fluttershy stared at her as though she'd grown another head. Applejack frowned.

"We can't stay trapped in the barn all night!" she continued. "Pinkie!"

A blur of fuschia barrled into the cowpony. Applejack straightened her hat and sighed, holding out a hoof.

"We draw straws."

"Um... excuse me..." Fluttershy said softly.

"Whoever gets the short straw has to go check on the zombie."

"Hello, um..."

"Then, if it is  a zombie... what do we do?" Applejack continued.

"Oh! Oh! I know! I know!" Pinkie announced.

"I don't think, um..." Fluttershy tried to interject.

"Tell us, Pinkie!" Rarity said urgently.

"You bash its head it!" Pinkie put both hooves together and slammed them down.

"I don't think that's what it's trying to say..."

"Right," Applejack said, as if Fluttershy had not spoken. "So..." She took a deep breath. "I'll go first." Closing one eye, she slowly drew a single lenth of hay from her hoof... and let out a sigh of relief. "Big Mac?"

The larger pony bit his lower lip and yanked the first straw he touched from his sister's grasp.

"Eee-yup," he grinned, waving a long one.

"Oh me oh me oh me oh me!" Pinkie grinned. "This one." She touched a piece of hay. "Hmmmm... no...this one. No... no... this one-"

"Pick a straw!" the other three shouted. Pinkie giggled and drew.

"Oh! Long one!" she smiled. Rarity's lower lip quivered and her eyes brimmed with tears.

"I can't, I just can't. Do you suppose it can eat my brain in a way that preserves my loveliness? I'd hate to be a horror at my own funeral!" she wailed.

"Take a straw, drama queen," Applejack stated in an unimpressed tone.. Sniffling, the unicorn took one of the remaining two pieces of hay... long. Applejack sighed. "Well, I guess it's Fluttershy's - Fluttershy?" She stopped, casting a look around the barn. "Fluttershy?" she called.

"The door!" Pinkie squealed, pointing.

The doors to the barn were wide open to the night, a gentle rain pattering the ground outside.

"Fluttershy!" Rarity cried. "Darling!"

"Well come on y'all!" Applejack shouted.

Thundering hooves ended in a skidding halt right at the barn's entrance - Applejack first, Rarity into Applejack, Pinkie Pie into Rarity, and Big Mac into Pinkie Pie. All four stood with mouths open, dumbfounded.

Fluttershy hovered a foot or so above the ground next to a mass of vaguely pony shaped moss and sticks and lichen. She patted it's "head" and spoke in a soothing voice.

"There, there. You were just hungry, weren't you?" she smiled.

"What... in tarnation...?"

"It wasn't saying 'brains.' It was saying 'grains'," Fluttershy explained, motioning to the bag of feed at her feet. Munching sounds came from the monstrous plant.

"Well I'll be," Applejack said.

"Ee-yup."

"What in the name of Celestia is that thing?" Rarity asked with disgust. Fluttershy continued to make soothing sounds and offer hoof-fuls of grain to the creature. Applejack shook her head.

"I have no idea. But I know someone who will." She motioned to Big Mac with her head. "Get that thing in the barn before everypony in town sees it. Put it in the stable. You three-" she pointed at Rarity, Pinkie, and Fluttershy - "we're goin' to see Twilight."