The Future is....Ponies?

by TheDawsonator1

Rating: teen
Tags: Original Character, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Human, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Other
Length: 42243

When some crazy guy kidnaps Joel in his sleep and freezes him for 3000 years. He will find that many things have changed and the world is no longer as he knows it.

Note: Teen for swears and HC for Headcannon...no, it doesn't actually fire heads. The story is semi-serious and semi-for-bucks-and-giggles.

Meet Joel, just another human on the Planet Earth from the year 2015 with a hope for the future being a Zombie Apocalypse or all the futuristic technology.

When some crazy guy kidnaps a random human that happens to be Joel and put him in a capsule to freeze him for 3000 years, Joel wakes up to find the Human cities have all been abandoned and there is no sign of humanity everywhere.

Instead, Ponies are found, not your ordinary ones, magical technicolor ponies! How will Joel go on in this future that is ruled by magical creatures?

Well...guess you have to find out, won't you?

Published 2015-01-31 17:20:04 UTC
Last updated 2015-09-07 14:34:34 UTC

Welcome to Equestria, Human Population: 1

Welcome to Equestria, Human Population: 1

Princess Celestia’s presence alone got Twilight and Spike to bow with respect…I didn’t, why? She isn’t my princess, she hasn’t earned my respect enough to bow to her. What? A title to me just doesn't warrant automatic respect, you have to earn it in my eyes before I'll bow properly.

“So, it is true. A Human is here” Celestia says
“My name is Joel” I introduce myself at once
“Mine is Celestia, Princess Celestia” Celestia gives a nod
“So, did you come here to gawp at me all day? You clearly have questions to only I can answer and I can figure you have answers I may require” I said after she stared at me for a minute

Twilight wanted to open her mouth but Spike gave her a kick to advise her not to, she was most likely trying to reprimand me for my disrespect.

“I have just one pressing one at the moment. How is it, for a race extinct for approximately 2980 years, a human shows up right on Princess Twilight’s doorstep?” Celestia asks as she sat down
“Believe it or not, I went to bed one night, a crazy guy put me in some sort of freezing machine for 3000 years, escaped a ruined city near here underground and I turn up in this town and have been talking to Twilight ever since” I answered
“Interesting…” Celestia put a hoof on her chin in thought
“You know don’t you? About my race?” I knew at once. She was well-read like a book
“Yes, I was very small when Humans started to fall 2995 years ago, it wasn’t until 10 years after they finally were extinct.” Celestia explains

Dammit humanity! You couldn’t survive long without me huh?

“How did it happen?” I ask straight-up
“It’s best if…” Celestia trailed off
“I am the last human, Celestia! I think I have a fair right to know why my race is not here 3000 years later and how that downfall occurred. I’ve got all day, I am not going anywhere so please, explain” I said angrily

Half of me was angry at the fact humanity is gone, the other half is not trusting Celestia, she clearly is a pony that hides things and I’m sure she had no intention of telling me when she walked through the door.

“Very well you shall hear the story, but I must ask that this story remain secret, it’s best for all in the present to not be aware of the humans and the true history of the past” Celestia says reluctantly
“That’s fine, it makes sense why Twilight could not find anything anyway” I comply with the request
“I Pinkie Promise, Princess!” Twilight did some weird motions

So, we humans have been wiped off history permanently! Was our race that bad? That these Ponies just spat on ours and made sure nobody knew about it?

“This story dates back to the time you humans know as the year 2020…” Celestia starts

2995 years ago…

I was but a small foal back then or the right term back then was a small child for you see, I was not originally a pony back then. There were no ponies like us back then, just Human beings, much like us but more brutal and smarter.

“Hold on! You were a human once? How the bloody hell are you like this now?” I asked
“Please be patient Joel, you shall know everything when you listen” Celestia said calmly

My name was Cecelia back in those days but my sister had always been known as Luna.

All was well in life, we were merely kids living carefree lives until one day, a space center NASA got a warning of a strange meteorite, it could not be stopped and landed in the city.

Myself, Luna and my father were the closest to the meteorite but my mother had been crushed by the meteorite.

But the Meteorite was no ordinary rock that descended to the planet, it brought about a weird thing that turned humans into magical creatures, I have studied many a time to find out why this happens, but not many answers have come out of it.

All over the world this influence spread, the most common victims were turned into ponies much like you have seen around Ponyville. Others turned into Griffons, Minotaurs, Zebras and the like.

“This is sure weird, it happened 5 years after I was frozen but for some reason it did not affect me. But why is it that the history is wiped? There could be lessons to be learned and such” I asked

Celestia just took a deep breath, she then continued her story...

Like every plague, there some that were immune to the magic effect, those that remained human. As to why this happened, to this day I do not know. But what I do know that after a couple of years, they turned nasty, jealous of their lack of magic but they were the only species to still use their technology. They turned into bandits, capturing ponies and killing some species like griffons.

It wasn’t before long before the turned species decided to form an alliance to take down the remaining humans ten years later, myself and Luna were in our twenties and lead the charge against their last stand.

With the humans wiped out, the wisest of our species decided that this was never to be put on record, to not tarnish the reputation of the past. As such, a cover story of our world was invented, our country was forged by findings by three leaders of each type of Ponies and a sidekick and they use the fire of friendship to dispel Windigos that haunted their lands.

After a couple of generations, Humans passed out of knowledge of all creatures except the immortals of our world such as myself and Luna. We turned over a new leaf in our life as we were assigned the rulers of Equestria…

“And that’s how Equestria was made” A pink pony said out of nowhere
“Pinkie!” Twilight rolled her eyes at her
“What?” Pinkie asked innocently
“Urgh, never mind” Twilight sighed as Pinkie jumped out the window

I don’t even have a clue what is going on right now…

“So, I have a few questions. First up is how is that the cities got buried all underground-like?” I ask
“A combination of the magic over time and events of the past which I will not talk about due to disturbing memories I'd rather not relive” Celestia answered
“Question Two: What is the significance of all the tattoos on your flanks?” I ask my second question
“Those are cutie marks, in simple form, they are our special talents that are symbolized once we realize it and it stays with us our entire life” Twilight explained whom had been quiet a long time
“Last Question: Are you going to kill me?” I asked that one with roughness
“Kill you?” Celestia repeated
“Yes, I am the last one here, you missed one! I am nothing but a reminder of the past you have worked so hard to forget and move on from, that much I can clearly see” I said truthfully
“If I wanted to do that, I would of done it the second I walked in and wiped Princess Twilight and Spike’s memory, but I am not a cruel pony. I am not biased, I give others chances, I gave the humans a chance, why should you be any different because you are a symbol of the past coming to the present?” Celestia says
“A simple no would of done fine” I rolled my eyes

Celestia gave a chuckle, her seriousness lifted. But in a nutshell some rock fell from the sky, infected the planet turned almost every human into a talking magical creature…so I guess that’s no on the hover boards or Zombie Apocalypses, it’s the Ponyocalypse!

“Well, I was rather hoping to wake up in some futuristic like place with hover cars and holograms or at least a Zombie Apocalypse but oh well…” I confessed
“Are you disappointed, Joel?” Celestia asked curiously
“A little bit, if I am being honest. Talking magical ponies was not on my possible futures list” I said, not knowing what to think of all this
“I must take my leave very soon, but before I depart, I think you have no accommodation correct?” Celestia stood up
“That’s correct” I confirmed
“Then I ask that you stay with Princess Twilight for the time being, is that okay with you, Twilight?” Celestia proposes
“Sure” Twilight smiles at that
“Then Joel, you must stay with Twilight until I can get you a place of your own. Next thing, I advise that you keep out of trouble, I will give word that you are friendly around here. But remember, I have graciously given you our hospitality, do not act rashly or untoward towards my little ponies or else as humans say “There will be hell to pay!”, are we clear?” Celestia frowned at her words
“Clear as my eyesight” I say
“Very well, farewell Joel, and welcome to Equestria” Celestia bids farewell

Princess Celestia then proceeds to teleport…you heard me right, teleport out of the room!

“Well that was fun” I said after a minute
“Well, if you’re staying with me, at least let me show where you sleep” Twilight says
“Lead the way” I said simply

Yeah, this future is gonna take a LOOOOOOOOOT of adjusting…

Author's Note

Headcannon timeline for this story:

2015- Joel is frozen
2020- Meteorite falls
2030- Fall of the Humans
2031- Celestia and Luna rule over Equestria
4014- Nightmare Moon is born
5014- Season 1-3
5015- Joel Reappears and Season 4

The Friend of my Friend of my friend of my friend of my friend is my friend. Are you confused yet?

I wake at around 6:30 in the morning, an unusual time back in the past but then again, I exhausted myself off a skyscraper, which fell as I exited it, met a purple pony and her Princess all in the same day and now have to stay with her.

Overall, this first day in the future could have been better, but it could have been worse.

But it seems our dear friend, Twilight Sparkle is a morning person…or pony as it were. Gotta be politically correct around here. (Not being politically correct around here can be a pain in the ass sometimes, or correct in general, especially around the spelling)

Back to Twilight, she’s definitely a morning pony, poor Spike on the other hand looks like he doesn’t share the same feelings for the morning, looking like he got dragged out by MPs.

I think I can agree to young Spike’s feelings, I hate mornings…Tuesday mornings the most, I feel as though Monday got undeserved hate because the foolish idiots didn’t appreciate the weekend while it lasted. Speaking of which, what is the day now anyway? I forgot to ask yesterday.

“M-Morning Twilight” I greeted her with a yawn
“Morning Joel!” She said with happiness in her tone

Does nothing faze her? I haven’t seen her not excited or happy since I got here, perhaps if I get bored enough, I’ll try do that myself.

“So, uh. What’s for breakfast?” I ask
“Uh, we have Daisies, lettuce, tomatoes” Twilight said
“We have any meat? Like Bacon with some eggs or something?” I ask

Twilight was looking at me like I called her whore-mongering slutbag, which I don't think her that way by the way.

“What?” I asked
“You eat meat?” She asks
“Yeah, and veggies” I said
“How do you eat both?” Twilight asks dumbly
“I’m an Omnivore” I explained to her
“Omnivore?” Twilight looks confused
“You know? Creature that eats both Meat and veggies? Are you seriously telling not one of you damned magical beings descended from us are Omnivores?” I ask
“No” Twilight says
“Oh for Christ sake! I’ll just the lettuce and tomatoes. Stuff like Daisies we can’t eat” I sigh as my stomach rumbles.

So, guess we’re gonna have to go down the Vegan road eh? A road I hoped with every being that I wouldn’t go down…unless I can find a source of meat somewhere. There must be carnivores somewhere, surely? And also, is there seriously no Omnivores in Equestria?

“What about Spike? I know in legends when Dragons didn’t exist, Dragons were supposed to be Carnivores” I asked
“They can eat a bit of vegetables but they enjoy gems like a delicacy, and No Spike, not until after lunch” Twilight read his mind
“Aww…” Spike look disappointed
“But how would someone find gems around here? They’re valuable as hell and not too common around here” I said
“Valuable? No, gems can be worth 20 bits at minimum and they’re common all over Equestria if you look in the right spots. My friend Rarity, has a huge knack for finding some of the best gems in Equestria. Although a really well-crafted gem can fetch for 150 bits minimum and the best can sell around 500 bita. Although Dragons have been banned from Diamond stores all around Equestria after the last dragon went in and ate out 3000 bits worth of gems” Twilight answered my question
“Guy must have expensive tastes” I joked

Twilight couldn’t help but laugh at that one, I feel sorry for the poor girl dragon that dates the guy. Probably eats all the jewelry he buys for her before he can give it to her.

“You can stop laughing now, I wasn’t that funny” I said, noticing Twilight still laughing
“S-Sorry” Twilight apologized
“I think if you laughed any harder, I’d have to get an oxygen tank for you and then Celestia would kill me no doubt” I said

I swear, Twilight has a cute giggle, it’s the kind that doesn’t be heard too often but never seldom heard, I always like the giggles from those kind of girls myself, reminds me of a girl I knew in college whomever her lover was at the time would call her “giggly-bear” But she does it more than what I feel Twilight does.

So right now, we are on the way to meet Twilight’s friends, yeah I’m not TOO positive about the whole meeting someone’s friends thing. Sometimes they’re okay, other times they’re either boring as all get out or we end up hating each other.

And also, meeting the locals will lose the stares…eventually and I hope it is sooner rather than later because it’s really getting annoying, fast!

First on the list was Applejack, were they naming these ponies after random things or something here? Apparently she’s a farmer…an apple farmer to be more precise.

Going to be right honest with you, I was never a farm person and believe me, I’ve tried! But I’m not a city person either, cities are waaaaaaaay too crowded and you can’t get too many places. I like a nice sized town that is not too big but not too small, juuuuust right. (Unfortunately, the Author ran out of porridge for the reference, some girl stole the just right porridge)

“So, where is this farm of hers again?” I ask
“At Sweet Apple Acres” Twilight answers
“And which way is that?” I ask again
“Just outside of town, just a five minute trot from here” Twilight replied
“Okay” I merely say

Yep, I’m gonna need to get fitter, thanks to no cars and all and I’m still not sure on the running 100 miles an hour thing being accepted around here. I mean, it doesn’t make sense how I can run that fast yet be so out of shape. But if I get fitter, maybe I’ll run really fast?

Anyway, I see a farm pop up in my sights, which must be Sweet Apple Acres, I look to my right to see young Spike rub his stomach. I’m kind of hungry too, well lettuce and tomatoes don’t do much for me, stupid vegan future.

“Well, this is Sweet Apple Acres, Joel” Twilight says
“Yes, looks like a nice apple farm, but where is Applejack?” I ask
“Right behind ya, sugarcube” A southern voice from behind speaks.
“Wah!” Twilight jumps sending Spike on a slight hop in the air before landing back on Twilight again

I look behind to see what must be Applejack, a southern type of mare with a Stetson cowboy hat. She doesn’t seem to have any wings or horn of any kind but she looks rather muscly, I’d fear those hind legs from the looks of those legs, they’d knock a guy out cold easily. She has three apples for her cutie mark, an orange coat and yellow mane and tail colour.

“Say, who’s this fella? Ain’t seen anything like y’all round these parts” Applejack asks
“My name is Joel, I’m a human and the reason you haven’t seen anyone like me is because I’m the last one” I said
“Last one?” Applejack repeats
“Yes, he’s not lying Applejack, Joel here really is the last of his kind” Twilight vouches for me
“Ah’m sorry to hear that, would y’all like to try some of our very own Sweet Apple Acre Apples? Ya can’t say you’ve been here until you tried some” Applejack offers

Hey, free food being offered, like hell I would refuse that! Who would turn down free food?

Ohhhh…so much apples, and it’s delicious! It tastes like Heaven in your mouth, and I'm not talking about the Ice cream either! But I am filled to 110% my stomach capacity, curse you annoying food storage limits!

But unfortunately, we had to go since Applejack was busy with her farm work and there were four other friends to meet.

Turns out, the Apple family are quite huge and spreadout through Equestria ranging from places like Appleloosa and even cousins like the Oranges in Manehattan. If an Earth Pony can go into the town, there’s a 98% chance there’s an Apple there! I think the only exception is Canterlot, Equestria’s Capital city.

Another thing I learned is that ponies are divided into three main species: Earth Ponies, Pegasi and Unicorns.

Unicorns can wield magic through their horns and can do a variety of things, but apparently their physical strength does lack if the Unicorn is too reliant on magic, as a result, Royal Guard Unicorns are trained in a lot of physical activity. Apparently, grabbing their horn hard disables most magic.

Pegasus ponies are ponies that can fly and walk on clouds and they do the weather around here. Apparently, Twilight sent a letter when I said the sun and the weather go by themselves and Celestia explains that the magic throughout the planet went around the solar system that stopped Earth’s orbit. So Celestia’s magic connects the sun in order to spin the Earth and move it around orbit while her sister connectx the moon and does the same thing. Anyway, back to Pegasi, they move clouds and provide all of Earth’s weather, apparently, a racist thing back in the day of the Equestrian Civil war was to assume all Pegasi as nothing but brutes to put it politely.

Earth Ponies have a very strong connection with Earth and are masters of physical work and are the strongest of the three Physically. They can grow crops and are quite strong, you don’t want to be kicked by an Earth Pony Guard, especially the hind legs. Applejack uses this strength to kick the apples down from trees and land them in buckets. Also, Earth Ponies have an advantage of having no wings or horn to cut off to take way their skill, unless you drain their magic somehow which is very few bits of magic anyway.

A Special race that belongs only to Royalty is the Alicorn, a combination of all three pony traits, immortality, and super-charged. They have both Wings and a Horn and though their physic is that of Pegasi, the Earth Pony strength is still there. As of today, there are four living in Equestria and our dear Twilight Sparkle is one. In fact, it’s very hard to contest with an Alicorn unless you are one or have super-magic with you.

“So Twilight, which friend are we meeting next?” I ask
“Oh, I’m thinking Rarity unless I find Rainbow Dash around, she could be anywhere and everywhere in Ponyville in seconds” Twilight says
“Sounds like a fast friend” I comment
“Indeed, Rarity though, she’s a fashion sort of mare, she sews dresses and clothes of all sorts” Twilight says
“That doesn’t sound like too profitable a job, I haven’t seen anyone around here wear clothes” I noticed the ponies around weren’t wearing any clothes
“Oh, clothes here are only worn by high-society ponies or for formal occasions…or stuff like dates” Twilight explains
“Oh…okay” I nodded
“What about you? I haven’t seen you take off any of your clothes the whole time” Twilight said
“Um…well…we humans wear clothes all the time to cover our…er…private parts…let’s just put it this way, it’s sort of taboo to go in public without clothes on” I said awkwardly
“Oh?...oh! I get it now…sorry” Twilight looks confused then gets it
“It’s okay” I said

Upon 5 minutes after than conversation, we arrived at that place I saw yesterday with the thing that horses spin around at carnivals…they call it the Carousel Boutique…it’s a weird name but honestly, this future is really weird! Anyway, Twilight knocks on the door with a come in by something of a fancy type of girl voice.

“Welcome to the Carousel Boutique! Where every garment is chic, unique and manifique!” said a voice that must be Rarity, and trying to make the suffixes of the words sound the same at that.

In my eyes comes a white unicorn with curly purple hair…or um…mane, same goes with the tail, her cutie mark is three diamonds.

In fact, I remember Twilight mentioning Rarity being a master of looking for diamonds. I just hope Spike doesn’t eat them all! Speaking of Spike, I don’t think his eyes of left Rarity since he got here.

“Hello Twilight darling, how are you? And you Spikey-wikey?” Rarity asks
“Oh we’re fine Rarity” Twilight answers
“So, what can I- WAHAHAAAAAA!” Rarity screams as she sees me

Nice to meet you too….

“Oh my stars, darling! Your clothes smell like they haven’t been washed for days! Oh that simply won’t do and-“ Rarity rushed to inspect my clothes

Gee, was expecting a “what are you” question! Rude pony! Goes for the clothes before asking what I am or my name. I can imagine her fighting over boots at a discount sale in a shopping mall.

“Uh…yeah…I couldn’t find a Laundromat anywhere…not that anyone even used those damned things” I said
“You must simply get those clothes washed! They smell!” Rarity exclaimed
“Nice to meet you too” I muttered
“Oh Rarity, this is Joel by the way.” Twilight introduces me
“Oh? Pleasure to meet you darling, now, what say we get some new clothes for you, hmm?” Rarity says
“Um, I sort of don’t have any money, just got to Equestria you see.” I say, feeling like a cheapskate.
“Oh that’s alright, I have never seen somepony like yourself, so that presents me a new challenge, consider it your payment” Rarity says
“That’s mighty generous of you, but you don’t have to” I say modestly
“Oh, I cannot simply allow you to walk around Ponyville with that smelly outfit on. First impressions go a long way in Equestrian society and especially if you don’t want to be judged poorly in Canterlot if you ever go there. And don’t you worry, I’ll make you the talk of the town with these outfits I’ll make you” Rarity says with an excitement in her voice

I’m already the stare of the town, but talk of the town might make it worse. But Rarity is right, I smell bad, I may as well of come out of a coffin instead of some capsule thing.

“Do I have to do anything?” I ask
“Oh no, don’t you worry! I already scanned your measurements with my magic, just give me a day and I’ll have some good outfits that look like yours but better!” Rarity says
“Well, I see this going well, if you’ll excuse us Rarity, I must find our other friends to introduce to Joel” Twilight says
“Well, goodbye Joel, if you ever need more clothes, come back to see me!” Rarity says as we make out exit

Overall, I say that went well, but now I feel really dirty now that Rarity mentions it.

“So, where next?” I ask
“Hmmm, I say we head for Fluttershy’s cottage next” Twilight decides
“Okay then” I say as Twilight leads on

Ten bucks says Fluttershy is a Pegasus. If $10 were still current in this time that is.

“Say, where’s Spike?” I ask
“What? Oh shoot! He’s still at Rarity’s” Twilight says in realization
“Oh…that’s bad?” I asked
“Yeah, he’ll never leave there! He’s attached to Rarity like glue” Twilight says
“Oh…LET’S GO!” I say

Both Twilight and I run back (or gallop in Twilight's case) to fetch young Spike back from the clutches of Rarity…

Author's Note

You know, it's amazing how people in HIE never assume Rarity could use magic for measurements or something instead of doing it physically. It's magic, I ain't gotta explain shit to you! Applejack is hard to right and i sort of treat her like she was in Friendship is Magic Part 1, meet her, eat food and walk away full. (P.S Don't give the Apple Pie to Soarin okay, that guy needs a diet)

Also ponder this for the title, there are six friends, each are friends and their friends are friends of them so it's a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend till Friendfinity! See, Pinkie Pie isn't the only one that can fuse words together.

Also, I'd thought I'd give some headcannon about ponies and in the headcannon at some point in the past there was an Equestrian civil war.

Next is the fact that Joel will always consider Spike as "Young Spike" seeing that he is still yet young but in the teens in his years of age due to common interpretation of Dragon's age being reduced significantly slower and fuels many a fic for a reason why RarityXSpike won't happen.

Anyway, I ramble on! Next up is Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash and perhaps Pinkie Pie

Kicking trees is generally a bad idea, unless you're Earth Pony then you can do what you want with it cause a Earth Pony is free, You are an Earth Pony!

When we got to young Spike, we had to drag him to Fluttershy’s, then I learn that our young drake is in love…with Rarity! DUN DUN DUUUUUN! Twilight then explained the whole thing to me, Rarity is clueless about the whole thing while Spike has been trying to win her affection despite Rarity going to other Stallions and getting rejected in the end.

I feel sorry for Spike, he has endured the “Friend Zone” for so long, I ought to give him a medal if I had one.

But back to the present, we were heading to Fluttershy’s which was on the edge of a forest named the Everfree Forest. A forest of such danger and wildness that none came tame, it is full of creatures that are highly dangerous to ponykind…and humankind as well most likely. Thankfully the creatures seldom leave the forest towards the town but there are always ponies on watch just in case.

But Fluttershy is safe from such things it seems…

“So, what’s there to know about Fluttershy?” I ask, doing some recon before I meet her
“Oh, she’s really shy, so don’t be surprised if she’s afraid of you, but once you get to know her, she’s really the kindest pony around. She takes care of animals big and small. Oh and don’t try scaring her, she’s reeeallly sensitive to those kind of things” Twilight gives the general background
“Oh an Animal lover, I knew one back in the past! Her name was Sarah, she absolutely loved puppies and cats the most. I wonder if she turned when that meteorite hit?” I remembered Sarah and wondered what happened to her

It hits me, being the last human is not what it’s made out to be. It’s…sort of lonely…and sad!

“It must be hard, being the last one” Twilight says as though she read my mind
“Yeah…I mean, there was whole life left for me back then, I was one week of graduating from University, had a crush I was pretty sure was gonna work out and a promise of a good job when I graduated. Now it’s a what-could-have-been life and it’s all for nothing because 5 years later, some magic rock fucks us all over! I either turn to kill my race or be immune and get slaughtered. I don’t know whether the crazy-ass scientist saved my ass a whole new life or just delaying the inevitable” I started to feel some anger rising out.
“Joel…” Twilight says
“Excuse me Twilight, I just need to vent some anger for a second, I’ll be right back” I said

I went to a tree some fifty meters away and kicked it with my fury and it hurt like hell!

“FUCKING MAD SCIENTIST! WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! JUST FREEZE ME FOR 3000 YEARS! THANKS BUDDY! EVERYONE WHO WAS LOOKING FOR ME THINKING I WAS DEAD WHEN I AM PERFECTLY ALIVE FOR 3000 STUPID YEARS! YEAH SURE I MAY OF DIED IN 10 YEARS HAD I STAYED, BUT AT LEAST IT WOULD BE WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY YOU STUPID CRAZED FUCK! BUT GUESS WHAT? I GET TO SPEND A LOVELY FUTURE WITH MAGICAL TALKING PONIES AND I’M THE LAST ONE OF OUR FUCKING RACE! COULD OF SENT A CHICK TO REPOPULATE BUT NOOOOOOO! WHEN I FIND YOUR GRAVE, I WILL FUCKING SPIT ON IT, SHIT ON IT AND BURN YOUR DEAD BODY! AND GOD! I’LL BE COMING FOR YOU NEXT AND PUNCH IN THE DAMNED THROAT YOU FAILURE OF A FUCKING NON-EXISTENT GOD! RRRRRAAAAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHHH!” I shouted my lungs out.

Huff…huff…that feels…better…I need that!

“Joel…” Twilight says as she comes to me

I was sitting down, my leg still in some pain, Twilight just stood next to me and gave me a hug and a nuzzle.

“Feel better?” Twilight asks
“A lot, minus the leg. I needed that one out for a while. I have no idea what to do around here. For all I know, there could still be something out there that hates humans still and wants to kill me! But just imagine, the second I die, the second the entirety of my race is gone, extinct and the only sort of descendants are some magical talking ponies and that.” I let some feeling out
“Hey, we’ll figure something out, and I don’t think burning that scientist’s grave will do any good” Twilight assures me
“It will do me good, I’d rather go out not knowing then waiting some Apocalypse I know is coming” I say with honesty
“Look Joel, I can’t imagine what it’s like, to lose all your kind in your sleep but I do know that wallowing in tears and self-pity for something out of your control isn’t the way to go. But you’re not alone in this future, as long as I breathe, I will be your friend, okay?” Twilight pats my shoulder
“Thanks Twilight, I’m sorry you had to see and hear that, I guess it’s harder to cope with this than I thought. But thank you for your support” I thanked her

I got up on my feet, and went to continue our journey to Fluttershy’s…

Fluttershy’s cottage came in sight, it looked kind of peaceful, it almost looked like something out of the Hobbit, maybe if the house was in a hill or something. But the fact remained, I would spend my retirement in a place like that. A place away from things and to myself, maybe with the future wife…if I find one at this point.

Twilight knocks on the door and a yellow Pegasus opens the door (HA! You owe Ten bucks humans from 3000 years ago!...oh yeah…you’re dead now…) She had a long pink manestyle and she was just…SO CUTE! OH MY NON-EXISTANT GOD SHE IS CUTE! SQUEEEEEEE! Okay I’m sorry, but she’s just so adorable.

“H-Hi Twilight” Fluttershy greets

Her voice is angelic too!

“Hey Fluttershy, how’re your animals doing?” Twilight greeted back
“Oh, they’re doing wonderful! Mr. Bearington is healing his right paw now” Fluttershy says with a smile at the mention of the animals

Fluttershy’s gaze goes towards me and she hides herself behind her mane as though I was gonna throw her through her room.

“This is Joel, a new friend Joel, this is Fluttershy” Twilight says
“Pleased to meet you” Fluttershy said as quiet as a mouse.
“Pleased to meet you too Fluttershy” I say with a wave
“Okay” Fluttershy mumbles

She really needs to talk more clearer, I guess that Shy part is really sticking out.

“Don’t worry Fluttershy, Joel here is a friend” Twilight assures her
“Oh, I think I hear one of animals needing me, I must go help them” Fluttershy says
“Oh…okay” I say
“Bye” She says as she closes the door

Anyone else feel like she made an excuse to get away with that conversation?

“Don’t worry Joel, she’s always really shy on the first meeting. I guess she wants to see if you’re nice or just needs to warm up to you” Twilight assures me
“Yeah, I wasn’t really expecting friendship at first sight, that doesn’t as happen often back in the past” I say
“Really?” Twilight asks
“Well it’s a different world back then, there were fake friends around, assholes, and people just in it for their own benefit just to name a few. Especially in the drama we like to call high school” I explain
“What’s wrong with high school?” Twilight asks
“Lots of things, the whole thing is overdramatic, people you had as friends in Primary school end up either being your best friends or really turn into plain assholes, there’s the puberty thing as you fight to control hormones and that while every damned girl in the school looks attractive as hell. The bullies also, some pointless classes, homework, rumors, upholding a decent reputation etc. Just put it this way, it’s a lot more trouble then it’s worth and whoever said it was the best years of our lives clearly must have had a crap life.” I explain

Not gonna lie, I really didn’t like High School, and for more reasons than ones that I explained.

“That sounds really negative” Twilight comments
“Yeah well, you’re gonna be spending 30 years maximum preparing for the future, you have to go through university after High School which can take more years up to do, the more complicated the dream job you have, the more years you’ll spend” I explain more
“Just out of interest, how old are you?” Twilight asks
“And I thought it was still rude to ask someone’s age…what? I was joking! I’m 25, and I’m having a hell of a quarter-life crisis” I answer

Yeah, instead of the “I don’t feel like I’m getting anywhere or not at my dream job or haven’t found a girlfriend” thing I have a “Transported 3000 years where I’m the last of my kind, have no clue what to do here and the future is full of magical talking ponies”. I can’t wait for the Mid-life crisis!

“Oh I see, I’m 24 if you must know. But I guess it’s not that important” Twilight says
“Well anyway, I guess since we’re back in town we could find the rest of you—AHHHHHHHHH!” I said before something hit me

In an instant, I got smashed into the ground on my face. OWWWWWWW!

“Rainbow Dash! If you keep knocking down everypony you meet, you’ll break their back or something sooner or later” Twilight reprimands the attacker.
“Oops! Sorry! I didn’t mean it!” The mare who must be Rainbow Dash says
“What the fucking hell man?!” I growled as I got up
“I said I was sorry!” Dash says defensively
“Don’t be sorry, be sensible” I say

So, my attacker is a cyan Pegasus with a rainbow manestyle and at the speed I was hit, I can see why she’s call Rainbow Dash.

“Joel! She said sorry, now play nice” Twilight says as I give her a “You serious?” look
“So, uh…what are you?” Dash asks
“Oh, just a human and my name is Joel, and judging from Twilight’s mentioning of you, you are clearly Rainbow Dash.” I reply
“THE one and only” Dash says

Great, she has an ego. I hated those kind of people.

“So er, what were you doing when you hit me?” I asked
“Practicing” She answers
“For…?” I urge her to say more
“The Wonderbolts…duh!” Dash says as though I asked what colour the sky is.
“Pray tell, what are the Wonderbolts?” I ask
“W-W-What? What do you mean “What are the Wonderbolts?” How do you not know?” Rainbow Dash asked me as though I asked the most stupidest question ever.
“Rainbow, he’s not from Equestria” Twilight says

Well, technically I am sort of from Equestria being underground in Equestrian borders but was asleep the whole time. Speaking of being Equestrian, I’m sure I’d have to do some citizen test or something so I don’t deported to…back underground or something. Maybe I’ll ask Twilight on the subject, I’d bet she’d know.

“B-But surely you must of at LEAST heard of them!” Rainbow says
“Nope, afraid not” I answer
‘Well, they’re a Pegasi flying team that do stunts and the like” Twilight says briefly
“And I want to be part of them, the most awesome elite flying team…EVER!” Dash gives off a fangirl squeal
“Sounds fun” I say
“You really should go to one of their shows, you don’t know what you’ve been missing” Dash says
“I’m sure I will soon enough” I say
“Well, I gotta Dash, see ya at the party” Dash says

I watch as Rainbow Dash…dashes off (No Pun intended), So there’s a party going on is there?

“So, there’s a party is there?” I turned to Twilight
“Yes, Pinkie Pie, the last of my friends is a party planner, I’m sure she’s really busy so I might bring you along to meet her” Twilight says
“You sure I won’t be gatecrashing or something?” I ask
“No, Pinkie always likes more ponies to the parties, the more the merrier she says. Fair warning though, she’ll confuse you sometimes but you’ll get used to it.” Twilight describes Pinkie a bit to me
“Okay, when is it?” I ask
“Tonight” Twilight says

I hope there’s some beers there or even a soft drink, I’m a thirsty guy who’s been 3000 years late to parties, my hopes aren’t up for clubbing considering the future’s technology seems to have gone backwards back to the middle ages or something.

“Hey Twilight?” I say as we go to her house
“Yeah?” She says
“Why are all the lights off?” I ask
“Because they are?” Spike says on Twilight’s back
“Oh never mind then” I mutter

The door to the library was getting ever closer as the sun was starting to set over Ponyville.

“You go first” Twilight says
“What happened to ladies first?” I asked
“Oh! Just go in, I’ll talk to Spike about some things anyway” Twilight says

I open the door and the lights go on and for a very split second I see a whole room of ponies before they all go…

“SURPRISE!!!” yelled a whole room of ponies

Twilight you tricky bastard….

Author's Note

Yep, you thought being frozen for 3000 years was all fun and games didn't you? Well, you are wrong and I was right! As right as Unicorn wax! (I made that up on the Spot)

If Luna was a human, she'd make so much profit off that dreamwalking gig. Then again, she's already richer that all the damned nobles combined

So, I was tricked into a surprise party was I? Well, that hasn’t happened before! No seriously, people always plan parties and never invite me and then say I’m cruel when I don’t invite them to my parties. Rude people!

But that doesn’t matter since I got a Pink Pony in my face.

“SURPRISE! Hi! I’m Pinkie Pie and this party was made just for YOU! Were surprised? Were ya?” Pinkie says fast
“Uh…very surprised” I said

So this is Pinkie Pie, the last of Twilight’s “Close” friends, she’s a Pink Earth Pony with three balloons as her cutie mark. She seems really cheerful at this moment, I don’t think a sad face would fit her at all.

But I didn’t know I could get a surprise party from I pony I’ve never met before. Hey, I’m not saying I’m not grateful, it’s just…weird.

“I’m Joel” I introduce myself
“Hi Joel, I’m Pinkie Pie! Wait, you already knew that! So I made this party for you because I’ve never seen you in Ponyville before soyoumustbenewandifyou’renewhereyoumustnothavemanyfriendssoithoughtletsmakehimapartyandyoucanfindlotsandlostsofFRIENDS!” Pinkie said ridiculously fast

Did Pinkie even breathe that whole sentence she was saying really fast? I only just understood that.

“How do you speak that much without breathing?” I ask curiously
“I have no idea. I just do it, I mean the author didn’t even put spaces between my words while I was speaking” Pinkie says

What? What? I….okay what the fuck is she going on about?

“Uh…what?” I said in a confused
“Anyway, enjoy your parrtttyyyyy” Pinkie says as she literally bounces off

I don’t even know what this is even…UUURRRRRRRRRGHH! It’s gonna bug me all night!

“I see you met Pinkie Pie” Twilight says from behind
“You knew about this didn’t you?” I asked
“Yes, I did, but it would ruin the surprise if I told you” Twilight says
“Yeah and what’s the deal with Pinkie? She talked really fast, said something about an “Author” and she bounces off happily like nothing had happened!” I ask
“She’s just being Pinkie Pie, trust me when I say you don’t want to try and figure out how she works, you’ll end blowing up your own brain, I did” Twilight warns me
“Yeah thanks, I’ll keep that one in mind” I say

I thought Twilight always seemed a bit happy, Pinkie freaking smashed her 5000 feet underground with her happiness. And also, why does actually seeing Pinkie smash Twilight in 5000 feet in the ground despite being sadistic, feel like it would totally happen?

Maybe I watched too much crime shows before I got frozen and I was on the last damned season of CSI too! I doubt TV still works since the ponies went all middle ages on us.

That’s something I got to ask Princess Celestia, how didn’t all of our modern technology stay or advanced a bit? Did this “War” the Humans had against magical creatures do something about this?

“Hey Joel!” I hear Dash call to me
“Hi Rainbow, how’s it going?” I greet
“Oh just great” I answer
“That’s cool, so ya like the party?” Dash asks
“Yeah, but it confuses me how a mare that hasn’t even met me just sets up a party for me” I say truthfully
“It’s Pinkie Pie, she’s the party planner of Ponyville and everypony gets a party when they first arrive here. Also, she remembers birthdays, anniversaries, important dates and all that stuff. She’s pretty awesome! But one tip for you, don’t ever break a Pinkie Promise” Dash says
“Pinkie Promise?” I ask
“What may be just a simple promise to you, it’s really a binding contract with Cerberus. Trust me, you don’t want to know what happens if you break one, but if you ever do, run!” Dash warns me
“Doesn’t that seem a BIT overreacting?” I ask
“A little, but Pinkie is a pony that is the most silliest pony around but she always makes everypony happy, when somepony is happy, she’s happy” Dash explains
“Yeah, she’s like a kid stuck in an adult body” I observe
“Maybe, but she’s still the awesome pink pony I know” Dash says
“Yeah, well I’m gonna walk around, okay?” I end the conversation

Dash simply nods at me, I walk around, feeling happy at a party. Don’t get me wrong, but sometimes parties just don’t feel it you know? You know what else I never really liked back in the past? Clubbing.

Before someone gets the wrong idea I am a boring person, I just think that clubbing is more of a hassle than it is fun. Like the long lines, the drinks are fucking expensive…well, not expensive more like expensively overpriced! Then there’s the music at volumes you can’t have a conversation. Oh and then there’s the spiked drinks (No, not the dragon) and the shady types there.

TL:DR, Clubs are overrated and disappointing, which is a shame cause that’s something I always looked forward to when growing up. You know, when you’re a kid and you just can’t wait to grow up but like Simba, we realize that’s sort of a mistake.

Ah, listen to me. Worrying about things when I should be enjoying myself.

So, the night was turning out really well, Pinkie Pie can bake some damned good cupcakes and cakes and any pastry and Applejack can cook Apple Pies, Apple anything really well. It reminds me of a girl I knew that came from a farm, her name was Ellie. Smart girl and looked damned good, may have had a tiny crush on her back in high school but it really wasn’t more than that and besides, farm girls sort of turned me on back then, but we were friends and no more than that really.

At last at around 11PM, I decided it was time for some sleep and went off to bed.

I had a dream, the dream was back in the past, as I dreamed of a meteorite coming down and smashing into the Earth, I couldn’t do anything, I was merely a spectator of the happenings of the dream. But it did not help much as I watched the world’s citizens turn into quad-ped magical beings.

Close the meteorite, I saw a stallion with 2 fillies hugging him, a white filly with Pink hair and a Dark blue one.

Before I could investigate this dream further, it started to swirl, and out popped a Midnight Blue Alicorn, with what seemed the Night sky as her mane unless I was very much mistaken. If I remember correctly, her name is Luna.

“Greetings, Joel!” Luna greets
“Hello, you’re Luna aren’t you?” I ask
“That is correct, we art Princess Luna, Princess of the Night” Luna introduces herself formally.

Either this is a dream or Luna is somehow here…

“Er, weird question. But how are you here, I’ve never met you before and yet I dream of you being here?” I ask
“Ah, mine sister hath not told thou much of us has she? That is fine, as one of our powers and special talent of the night, we can enter dreams and observe them. If ponies have nightmares, sometimes we must offer counsel with our subjects and lead them onto the right course. However, thy dream is not much of a nightmare, but of a vision.” Luna explains
“That sounds weird, but this whole future is weird” I say honestly
“Thou speakest truthfully, we still remember our carefree days of our youth very vaguely, but the memory still persists in our mind to this very day. Forgive us, but we really wanted to meet thee after Tia explained that there was a human in this time when we thought thy kind all but extinct” Luna says
“That’s fair enough I suppose, it feels like just a sleep ago I was with humans and the next thing you know, it’s full of magical sorts. But you and Celestia went through a painful transition as I hear of it” I say

Note to self: I really gotta find out more about what happened in the past.

“Indeed, at first it was of unity with our turned kind along with the humans that were immune to the meteor. But jealousy and anger came, it consumed thy race long ago. In the end, many were slaughtered, magical creatures and most verily, the humans.” Luna explains more
“So, this dream I was having, that was a vision of what happened when the meteor landed?” I asked
“Correct, thy dream is merely a vision of the past. Dreams can sometimes do this, but even visions to the most learned of us cannot be used intentionally. Thou must be careful with vision dreams Joel, for if thou is too reliant or acts too much upon dreams, one cannot determine dreams from reality” Luna warns me
“So this dream here, is a vision of the past, I assume this happens with the future as well?” I ask
“Yes, it does happen, not as often as past dreams, as dreams are often visualizations of past experiences and imaginations or even what the past could show what the future may be. This dream is a vision of the day destiny changed. The two fillies are actually mine sister and us, along with our father.” Luna said to me
“What was it like? Turning into one?” I ask
“We do not remember, we know it scared us, but we have been so used to being a pony that much memories of human days are seldom remembered” Luna attempted to recall memories
“I never knew Celestia started with Pink hair, did she dye it or something?” I joked
“Actually, that was the magic that did this mane effect” Luna inputted

Luna seems nice to me, a little old-fashioned language but she’s alright.

“Princess Luna? May I ask a question?” I ask
“Is it about Nightmare Moon? We’re afraid we really were that entity” Luna admitted
“That was the next question, my actual question is that we had so much technology, I don’t think it would have been hard to reverse engineer it into something more pony-friendly, so why is it we look like the middle ages?” I ask
“A simple answer Joel, the magic interferes with the electricity generated by fossil fuels and such. The whole thing goes haywire, humans learned to adapt this but we never found their ways for they must have been destroyed and not to mention the magic created a new layer of Earth above the existing towns and such.” Luna answers
“And we all just embrace the magical meteor as some sort of god for our new daily lives’ I laughed
“Joel, it was that or end up perishing trying preserve the ways of the past. It took many years for peace to be held truly after that.” Luna says

The dream starts swirling again as the three ponies had disappeared from sight.

“It is almost time for us to depart, before we leave, we have but one final question for thee. Do you hate us magical kinds?” Luna asks

What?

“What?” I repeat
“Our races have extinguished immune humans and here you are as one of them, surely some anger may be held naturally, is there such feelings?” Luna asks
“I dunno, I care more for myself and what I must do now. I suppose the way to past has shaped, it may be natural for myself to hate you guys but you ponies have showed naught but kindness and friendship since I woke up in that ugly capsule. Hating ponies doesn’t make any logical sense. If a human from all that war were to come, then he or she may but not me.” I explain my feelings
“Very well, fare thee well Joel, we hope we can meet thee in person formally” Luna says as she disappears

Luna was growing smaller and smaller until she disappeared and the whole place seemed to just fall apart…

I jump up from my bed with a start and I went over that crazy dream I had, was all this real? Or was I getting a killer imagination from the party?

The Past and the Future seem to have some unanswered questions for me to find it seems…

Author's Note

Have you ever noticed no HIE story ever wonders why a party is thrown for a complete stranger by a complete stranger? They just accept it and be like "Who cares? I get a party!"

Also, Like the title suggest, Luna could easily be a dick with the dreams she see everyday and cause some good chaos to make Discord pleased.

To repel Windigos, yell EXPECTO PATRONUM at the top of your lungs and think happy thoughts. The Fire of friendship is a lie!

I think the dream I had with Princess Luna was most enlightening, if it were real. Half of me thinks it’s not real and the other half is convinced the Princess of the Night graced me with her presence last night in my dreams.

But, curiosity is drawing me back to the city where I left a few days ago to find anything that remained of family or friends. Even a token of the past I know well of will satisfy me. I guess maybe it’s me just trying to accept this weird future, maybe it’s just for closure and one last good-bye.

On the other hand, I need to figure out my plan for the here and future. I will need to get a job for money, get some sort of house and figure things out from there.

There’s also a third concern in my mind, the running fast thing I had when I ran to Ponyville. It must clearly be magic. But then the question begs why have I not been turned into a quadpeded magical creature like a pony or a griffon?

I assumed I was immune like other human beings, or perhaps the freezing thing that scientist did negated the turning process but still gained magic? There is clearly more than running magic, maybe some to do with combat as I am not sure if the other immortal beings have heard of me and I am not too sure they will be as agreeable with my existence as the ponies are.

To be safe, I must find this magic out, also some helpful uses in daily life would be nice too. But I must keep the magic a secret, as far as I know, the humans that were immune did not have magic and that’s what caused all that extinction of our kind thing. I still do not trust Celestia fully, admittedly a side of caution is natural considering past events and such.

My first concern cannot be accessed until I have some way to get down without breaking my bones, unless I could convince a Pegasus or maybe an Alicorn if need be to lift me down there and then back up. Also tying in the first concern is that scientist, I wanna know about him, there must be some detail to why he froze me, why not himself?

Second concern will go in the works for now, I am still uncertain of what path may occur.

I think I should focus on this magic, if there is truly magic for me, then it would be wise to figure it out in case danger heads my way from the aforementioned immortals and if Celesita and Luna find out about it and goes downhill, I will at least need to hold them off for an escape because I can just feel they’re too powerful to take head on if it goes south.

For my magic plan to work, I’ll need to exit town where many pony’s eyes cannot pry.

“Twilight, I’m going out” I say to the mare reading a book
“Okay” Twilight says
“I’ll be around town if you need me” I say
“Okay, have a good time” Twilight says without looking up
“Yes mom” I said sarcastically

It’s sort of ironic using the mom joke, since I am older her in frozen actual living time and the actual time that’s passed (3000 years). And I half-lied where I was going, I was going out of town but I will be around it’s general area.

Anyway, I walk off out of town with maybe a hello or two on the way by some ponies I’ve met, like Vinyl Scratch, the DJ mare from the party, Pinkie Pie of course who came out a bush for no reason and some mare with a sky blue like coat and a yellow mane called Cloud Kicker. I should make a note to be careful around her because she apparently has a reputation to seduce mares and stallions like she is Barney Stinson or something. I have a feeling that list may not exclude one-of-a-kind humans.

So here I was, out in the lush green fields as far as the eye could see in some directions, but some ran into mountains and such. It gives off a peaceful vibe, sort of relaxing and such. There’s plenty of space to find out some magic powers.

I mean, who doesn’t want magic powers? It would be a lot of help in life and besides, it’s not like I have advanced technology or something on my side, thanks to magic being an EMP to technology.

I decided to go for a full out sprint in a random direction, I sped up to speeds definitely not possible, I’d say 200km/h was my speed, thank god I didn’t trip or my face would be bruised as hell. But the wind on the face and all that, that feels good.

So I can turn into a human Sonic the hedgehog, what else can I do? I pulled out a hand and tried to summon a beam or something, but man I look really stupid if anyone was watching.

I guess I am doing it wrong or no magic beam powers. Umm…what else could a magical being do? Ummm…how about jumping?

I do a jump, it seems pretty normal to me. I jump again, still nothing. I try double-jumping…nothing but I did hover down slowly, if I could hold that sort of thing from a height, I may have my entry ticket in, but getting out is the hard part, unless I could fly or something.

Maybe, since Unicorns do magic by their horns, it seems humans may have something different as their magical output points, it has to be the fingers.

I tried for an hour or two, before I gave up. It would have been better if I read some magic books or something. Maybe it will give some insight into this magic thing, all I learned is to hover to the ground, even did it from a tree so I guess that’s something.

Speaking of something, Rarity said new clothes should be ready any time soon, I should go see her and besides, despite a bath, my clothes smell like…OH GOD THAT SMELLS AWFUL!

KNOCK KNOCK!

“Come in” I hear Rarity’s voice

I walk into her shop, praying the clothes are ready because I am really starting to get self-conscious of the smell.

‘Hello Joel darling, I have your clothes ready” Rarity says
“Oh that’s great, these clothes are starting to smell” I said thankfully
“I don’t get why you must wear those dirty clothes” Rarity said with a hoof over her muzzle
“Uh, let’s just say it’s very taboo to be going out in public without clothes” I explain this again
“Shall we try on the clothes then?” Rarity asks, understanding what I said
“Sure” I agree to try them on

So, it turns out she made clothes similar to ones I was wearing. The clothes are very light, as though no weight had been given on them.

“These are good, they feel light as a feather” I say gratefully
“Yes indeed, they even have enchantments on them for protection, rips on the clothes won’t happen as much as others. One cannot be too careful, especially with the amount of accidents Rainbow Dash causes, don’t get me wrong, she means well but she really needs to slow down” Rarity explains

I guess that’s fair, since I got ran over into a pancake yesterday by Rainbow Dash.

“Thank you very much for your help, Rarity” I thanked
“You are most welcome darling, if you ever need more clothes or something special, do come by!” Rarity says as I leave

As I left, I couldn’t help but notice a young white filly with a sort of curly mane with her entering Rarity’s shop. I wonder if the two are related? But that’s none of my concern.

It’s a little windy today, I still got ponies staring at me even after that party, I’d wish they’d stop.

But right now, I’m a bit bored. Forgive me, but our race is so hooked on technology for entertainment, it just seems so boring without it. Perhaps there are other things that could pass the time. Makes me wish I could go back down in the old city and see if I can find some clues about Humanity’s downfall or maybe something about that scientist because he or she does grab my curiosity just a bit.

I think I might head back to the library and learn a bit more on how magic works, maybe I can discover some other abilities to use and maybe protect myself better just in case something hostile ever comes. In a magical place like this, there has to be something that is of ill will existing out there.

And if it ever comes, I will not be caught unprepared…

Author's Note

Let's see Windigos make the cold, bring unpleasant feelings and feast on that. Are we sure they don't have soul-sucking powers in there somewhere?

Also, Magic should not be that easy to learn without a bit of research don't you think? And also, a magical pony that makes clothes would do well to make sure her designs are not ruined so some protective enchantments are made on the clothes.

A Wise meme once said "It's Magic, I ain't gotta explain Sh*t!"

A Wise meme once said "It's Magic, I ain't gotta explain Sh*t!"

I headed back for Twilight’s library, if any answers on this magic thing were to be present, it would have to be there, especially as Twilight is a student of Princess Celestia after all.

Rarity’s new clothes were in a bag, that reminds me, I need to find a backpack of sorts if I want to go exploring down in the old city ruins, I may find goodies or maybe some weapons I might want to keep. Oh, food and water too in case of random accident.

But for now, I enter the library and put the bag of clothes away and go find Twilight, it would help if I were closer to the right books.

“Hey Spike, you seen Twilight anywhere?” I ask to dragon
“I’m over here” Twilight says from behind before Spike could answer

I turn around and there Twilight was, by a bookshelf sorting some books out by the looks of things.

“So, what do you need, Joel?” Twilight asks
“Well, I am just curious about Magic and how it works, so I wondered if there was a book for it” I fired away
“What do you want to know about Magic? You don’t use magic either” Spike asks
“Well, I am curious about how it works and what ways it’s cast. After all, if I’m going to live in a magic world, it’s best to know how it works, wouldn’t you agree?” I explain at Twilight
“Hmm…I think I know just the book for you, Joel!” Twilight exclaims as she goes to a shelf

Twilight goes a book on the opposite side of the room and hands it to me, this will be a long read I think.

There is so much about magic and so many things that are undiscovered about magic.

What I do know about magic is this: There is Physical sort of magic and there is innate magic.

Physical magic is something very few types of magical creatures possess. It requires a point where the magic exits from, such as a unicorn horn. I know I have this type because to hovering was coming out of the hands which leads me to believe that the hands are where the magic comes out acting like the unicorn horn does.

Innate magic is magic that sort of happens naturally and cannot be physically manifested into a spell or something. Much like Pegasi walking on clouds or even flying. It sort of acts like say a super power like flying or running really fast.

But magic does have weakness, the magic in each being has a sort of battery, that battery runs out, no magic can be cast. Some magic spells and abilities can take quite a lot of magic to cast and/or sustain, so naturally, the spellcaster will run out of magical energy sooner. A spell like levitation of basic objects won’t take much magical energy at all unless the object is really heavy.

Naturally, if one were to say, hold a shield up, they would need a fair amount of endurance for it to last against attacks. A powerful incinerating blast would require a lot of magical energy to make and do the blast.

Every magical being has a different amount of magical energy cap they have, the more powerful the magical user is, the higher their cap is and the more punch they’ll pack. Hypothetically, a being like Princess Celestia would have a very high cap and a lot of power to raise the sun (which I can’t believe happens in this future), someone like Rarity wouldn’t have too many magic-consuming spells and probably wouldn’t handle the stress of hard-to-cast spells.

So the question is, how is my magic cap like? What is a good way to get these spells out? What magic spells can I use?

“Joel, may I ask a question?” Twilight asks
“Sure, you can ask two, one you already asked” I answer
“What was it like down there? When you woke up?” Twilight asks
“Honestly, it felt wrong not waking up in my bed, it was dark, the city lit by a hole in the roof but very dimly though.” I answer
“Would you want to go back there?” Twilight asks
“Yeah, I was in such a hurry to leave, to find what the future was like that I didn’t explore the place I was in. I’ve never been a guy to dwell on the past, but I won’t deny I am curious for clues about what happened. But, the skyscraper collapsed so there is no safe way to drop down without breaking all my bones in my body and no way to get out as I cannot fly” I explain
“You know, I could always fly you up and down, and maybe the Princesses might help too” Twilight suggests
“Perhaps, but would the Princesses really have time for the past over running the entire country?” I ask
“Maybe they can, Princess Celestia sometimes act as a mere placeholder in running of things in the Day court” Twilight says
“Very well, but I wouldn’t hold your breath on that one” I rolled my eyes

Honestly, why would the Princesses give us the time and day to go on an underground ruined human city excursion just because we asked her to.

“Here, why not write a letter?” Twilight asks
“Okay, if you insist” I agreed

Dear Princess Celestia,

It is I, Joel. Writing to you from Ponyville via Spike’s handy dragon mail thing he has.

As I told you how I got here, I came from an underground city buried for almost 3000 years.

I wish to return there and look for anything of mine long lost or something that may give clues to who the person was that sent me here and what happened to my friends of the past.

I have a feeling like I MUST know! The only problem is landing safely and getting back as I cannot fly. Twilight has offered to carry me in and out but I hope for a more safer option.

Twilight wanted to know if you’d like to come, I felt you probably wouldn’t with “Running the country” and all.

Hope to hear from you soon,

Joel

P.S Can Princess Luna really access dreams? Because I think she went in my dream last night and I am still in doubt it really happened.

“Joel…what language is that?” Twilight asks
“English” I answer
“English?” Twilight repeats
“You know, the language we’re speaking right now?” I look at her with confusion
“But we know Equish…huh…that’s certainly odd” Twilight says
“I think the Immortals changed the written language” I assumed

It would make sense wouldn’t it? It would be another cover-up by the immortals to preserve the secret of the Human race. Change the written language so that English is foreign to all others that it could be thought an ancient language or completely alien.

It’s clear Celestia and the others were not so paper thin in their efforts to disguise the existence of our race. But still, were anyone to discover the city, there’d be a lot of red flags being raised and ideologies called into question about Equestria’s true past. It’s a risky disguise game the Immortals pull, for there are many variables that I can see happen to reveal the truth.

Quite frankly, I should be one of them right now and now I wonder why I was not killed to preserve the secrecy…

“Well, I guess I better write it in the correct language then, shall I?” Twilight sighs
“Yes, well…” I trail off

I can’t help but wonder who are all the other creatures that are immortal and were once human themselves.

I understand they were ashamed of what humanity became with the magic thing, but I don’t see why it needed to forgotten for good and kept secret about it’s existence ever happening. I mean, World War I and World War II happen but did we pretend that never happened? No, but we did remember and respect those who sacrificed for their country. Wouldn’t the magical beings do this as well?

This whole thing is confusing to me I will admit…

“Annnnnnnnnnddd…..DONE!” Twilight announces
“Oh, goodie” I say as I got ripped from my thoughts
“Spike! Can you send this letter to Princess Celestia, please?” Twilight asks politely

Wordlessly, Spike takes the scroll and breathes fire on it to send to the Princess, I won’t deny I had the temptation initially to ask why he would do that but then remembered that his fire was basically magic e-mail.

Within five minutes of silence and thought, Spike burped out a flame of scroll from the Princess.

“Well, someone replies quick, I guess she was checking her dragon e-mail at the time” I comment
“Alright, let’s see what she says” Twilight starts to read the letter

Dear Twilight and Joel,

This revelation of the Underground City has been most curious to me this past few days, I am coming down tomorrow morning at 10AM, meet me at the library then and bring your friends here as well.

Also, brushing up on your defensive and offensive magic may be wise, rumors have it that dark creatures are dwelling in underground-like places, this could include the underground city despite Joel not saying he saw anything.

See you tomorrow,

Your former mentor, Princess Celestia

P.S Joel, bring your machete and bow and arrows you got from there, just in case we are attacked.

Well, dark creatures could possibly be dwelling the city? What do I make of that? Probably a fight gonna occur on my hands, I best be prepared when I go down there.

But now, rest is needed…

Author's Note

Just so we're clear, the Immortals are the "Alicorns" of each magical race that share an Immortality trait. So naturally, they're called Immortals.

Secondly, Celestia really wants this human thing a secret. Reasons explained later...

The Hole in the Ground

My dreams of the night were of the dark creatures, not able to be seen but with their red eyes glowing. They stalked and stalked until finally they pounced their prey…me!

GASP!

I woke up, the time was 8:30AM, about 1 & ½ hours until we made out expedition into to hole from whence I came.

My thoughts were on those rumored dark creatures that I am sure have to exist, if there’s a rumor of these guys, there’s bound to be those creatures lurking around. But I have Princess Celestia on my side for the moment, and I know of her power, not many creatures would dare take up arms against her, not even most of the Immortals.

Princess Celestia must at least remember a little bit of humanity, perhaps even having a secret library or something hidden around somewhere, preserved until a later time or a time in the past and to be used again in the future.

I got a new set of clothes on, courtesy of Rarity of course! Got my machete and Bow and Arrows and I picked up, and got as about ready as ready could be defined for me.

Twilight of course had to tell her five most trusted friends of course about the truth about the humans and the “Everything you knew bout the past foundations was completely bullshit” story.

Speaking of which, they were all here by 9:50AM, the Princess was due to arrive in 10 minutes and now we wait…

About 10 minutes passed before I saw the white Alicorn that is Celestia. She did not come with guards or anything…you know, because it’s a secret mission even the guards didn’t know, probably even Celestia’s Second in command didn’t know about this.

She arrived and with quick conversation with Twilight, she and Twilight came inside and all of us were inside as well waiting to hear what will be said. Celestia then enters the room and looks seriously at all of us.

“Listen, what we are about to do must NEVER be uttered to another soul, nothing about the truth here must be uttered to any other soul other than the ones in this room and Princess Luna and Princess Cadence, are we clear?” Celestia says in a serious tone.
“Yes, Princess” every pony in the room said.
“Now, I’ve casted the necessary enchantments to prove that we never left this room, we never went to an underground city and most of all, the next few hours never happened. There will be danger perhaps in this underground city, be on your guard at all times” Celestia warns

Celestia is damn serious about this secrecy, I’ll tell you that much. Every pony was sworn to a Pinkie Promise. From what I gather, the Pinkie Promise is a contract with the devil and you’ll have a demonic Pinkie Pie running after you should you DARE break a Pinkie Promise!

“Gather around my little ponies, we will teleport to the spot, all of you need just keep a hold on me” Celestia says, I think that last part was meant for me.

I grab on Princess Celestia’s back as others took their grip, with a lighting of her horn, we teleported! The sensation of spinning and a slight lack of air for the tiniest of milliseconds was present.

We landed at our destination, a wild dizziness came over me and then started to disappear slowly. What did matter is the same hole I crawled out of is in front of our very eyes.

“There it is, the hole to the ancient past or basically a couple of days ago for me in my mind” I say
“Twilight, Fluttershy and Rainbow, could you carry the rest of you friends down there? Joel, climb onto my back” Celestia orders
“You sure your back can take that?” I ask
“Of course it can, Joel.” Celestia says

Yeah, I was riding Princess Celestia down the hole…OH FOR GOD’S SAKE YOU’RE THINKING IT AREN’T YOU? YOU DIRTY MINDED ASSHOLE!! Can’t even go into a future without this crap turning into sexual innuendos every 10 seconds.

Aside from that, I was riding a flying pony, can you not say that is at least awesome? Of course we landed twenty seconds later but hey, it worked.

“This rubble is the skyscraper that collapsed isn’t it?” Twilight asks
“Yeah, I guess it couldn’t hold 3000 years or magic must of weakened it’s structure, I’d say the first one probably happened” I reply
“This ruin is ugly” Rarity says stupidly
“Of course it is Rarity, I hope Twilight did not drag you here on the promise of gems and human fabric, you may be disappointed. And for a note, some jewelry worn by woman can be fake but so realistic it would be a much more closer inspection to determine the difference” I turn to Rarity
“Most buildings are still standing, it has felt like a million years since I was back in a human city” Celestia says
“You remember it don’t you?” I ask

Celestia’s face was all the answer I needed as she remembered back in such times.

“I remember, the grass on which Luna and I would play on, before the meteorite struck, I remember growing up on such a divided planet, a four-legged creature without too much an explanation other than that meteorite did something” Celestia reflects
“Did you ever find out anything interesting about it?” I ask
“No, as much as anypony tried, turned or not turned, nopony found an answer, and any close sign of progress may have been eliminated by the war. Even with this extraordinary magic, the remaining humans and their weapons did put a massive fight and even the mother of all nukes wiped anything within 300 kilometers just from the explosion, destroying most of Europe” Celestia answered
“Jesus! They went that far?!” I half-shouted

God, did the humans re-enact Hiroshima but bigger and deadlier?!

“What’s a nuke?” Pinkie asked
“It’s a bomb, designed to incinerate and blow the fuck out of anything in the blast radius. I think they withhold these things because of civillains and such or there is not a need to. Now, I never knew much about these things but an average nuke would do about 10 kilometers at most I reckon but the radiation from the nuke would be much bigger. Put it this way, one bomb drops from the air and once it hits the ground anyone even within seeing distance would be absolutely destroyed and if they somehow survive that, the radiation from that nuke would end them” I explain
“And this one was 300 kilometers?” Rarity asked ignorantly
“Yes” Celestia answered
“How the humans made something like that and used it, I don’t want to even know! Since the amount of nukes existing in 2015 were enough to blow the Earth up to smithereens and the moon too many times over” I say

My god, and I thought we humans were bad enough with blowing things up, but at magical creatures? How could the Humans do this?

“Entire countries could be wiped off the planet with some of these nukes, if the explosion itself was 300 kilometers wide, that’s a fucking explosion and then some more!” I say
“Let’s change the subject” Celestia says wisely

I see Fluttershy sobbing into Rainbow Dash, I feel really guilty about this subject, I can’t help but feel some “What the hell?!” towards the humans, this prejudice ended up in the mother of all nukes. But still, i felt guilty raising this subject with someone as sensitive as Fluttershy.

Something got my mind of nukes when I saw it: the familiar building I exited out of when I first woke up.

“That building there, it’s the building where I woke up” I say to Celestia

I open the door, and the blue light from the capsule was still active. How much battery could that light have? Celestia lit her horn as a torch of sorts the light the way.

I walked to the note I read when I first woke up and showed Celestia. She read it and then handed it to Twilight who read the note.

“This scientist sounds insane” Twilight comments
“You’re telling me, I want to know who he was at least” I look towards the note as I say it.
“I did not know a Human being capable of this technology” Celestia says
“Either he really has accomplished this in the present time or he invented this in the future, got back to the present just to freeze a random guy from 2015. I’d say the former makes more sense. But still five year technology advance seemed to have spurted all the sudden” I say my view on the subject
“Still, I for one think that if something like this was kept so hidden, there may be other things Humans could of left that went unnoticed by the Immortals and their races” Celestia theorized

That sounds like fair logic, but I think this may be a one-off sort of thing personally…

After leaving the room and going down a couple of streets, my back was getting a weird tingling feeling. I turned my head back and it was just Fluttershy and Rarity behind me. Still, I was getting bad vibes for some odd reason, maybe it was moving away from the natural light that got me a little scared, or the fact this place is ruined and it’s really quiet. It’s almost daring a horror movie monster to come out any minute.

I went into a clean looking house for a search, found a diary and a photo of some dude’s family, mind you, some of the family were ponified. Did they turn on each other? Were they separated? Or did they escape somewhere and die out naturally? I decided to flip through the diary.

The last few entries seemed to be at the meteor landing.

25th May, 2020

I don’t know what happened! One minute I was walking through the mall with my friends and then the next something fell and threw the roof down on us. We escaped by then we all lost consciousness.

When I came to, I found most of my friends were these weird coloured ponies with horns and wings on them. I screamed for my life diary, the others also did. But we weren’t the only ones this has happened to, the whole country has apparently been infected with this weird thing.

I need time to think…

26th May, 2020

I’m afraid now! They started rounding the ponified humans on trucks, it wasn’t contagious but they were taking all my friends away. I couldn’t stop it! I feel so alone! Only Jessica remains with me and my dad, my mum got turned too!

I WANT MY FRIENDS BACK!

30th June, 2020.

What? WAR?! We’re going to war with the ponies?! And the griffons, minotaurs and all creatures magical? I don’t want to fight! They’ll make me shoot my friends most likely! I can’t back out away from this.

Lord, if you exist, please spare me and my friends from this madness.

31st October 2023.

Oh my god! I killed Ashley! I didn’t mean to! I-I was in a raid for intel and something scared me and I shot Ashley, one of my friends that turned into a pony. Oh, please forgive me!

31st December 2025

I couldn’t take it anymore, this war will never end! Why are we even going to war with them, they’re the same as us! Sure they have magic but we could co-exist in peace! This war has shed too much blood, some of it on my hands.

I ran away back to my old home, they are coming after me, I don’t think I’ll live to see another day. Goodbye Diary, please forgive me my friends.

I noticed a skeleton near the diary, the person clearly was a girl. The poor girl must have been terrified out of her wits. Either the humans or the ponies got her, I don’t know as there aren’t any bullets anywhere.

I heard creaking and then shrieks that belonged to none of my friends. I darted out of the house quickly to investigate.

“What the hell was that?” I ask
“Nothing I know of, and I know it isn’t friendly” Celestia says
“So we’re not alone?” Dash asks
“I think we may want to move to another area completely” Twilight said wisely.

Then I see them, black creatures, both bipedal and four-legged creatures. Shadows emanating them in quite a dark manner, I got the obvious feeling these guys aren’t here for a meet and greet.

“Uh, girls. We may want to run. And I mean run like fucking hell run!” I say
“Don’t stand there! RUN!” Celestia orders quickly

The Black creatures started running towards us and we ran like hell, I kept my human speed too, if it needs to, I may have to use the super speed. I am sure Celestia could of dealt with them but there was the risk of us getting in the way of her fighting if she did choose to fight.

For now, this is basically something close to the Zombie Apocalypse…that’s more like it!

Author's Note

The plot...relatively stays the same...

Uni is gonna kill me, and so are those damned Salty chips i had. So much salt you could fill the Nile full of it I swear.

Also, don't take the Nuke facts seriously. That's just Joel giving rough estimates despite knowing next to nothing on the subject, and a 300km mushroom cloud from a nuke would screw the place over.

So basically it's the Doomsday Nuke and turned to place into a giant Chernobyl basically...a perfect vacation spot.

Infected Aren't Zombies Nor are these dark ressurected creatures that act like zombies.

You know, I wasn’t planning on running from black creatures today, But if every day went well for me, it would have be boring for me. But running for my life is not a way to alleviate the boredom. Okay, maybe it is but still can we just focus on the dark creatures TRYING TO MURDER US PLEASE?!

The problem was that we needed Celestia’s light, which will let the dark beings know where we are. I drew my machete out in case it has to come to fighting, my bow and arrows would be not much use now as I don’t believe you can aim and run and if I slow down I may have to use super speed to avoid getting killed.

Fortunately I saw a corner up ahead, a familiar one I know has a door to it. I have an idea!

“Celestia! Turn the corner and turn off your light” I say

Celestia gets what I mean, as we do so and jump into the door and close it. The Dark creatures seemed to have fallen for it, we waited until we were sure they disappeared and edged slowly towards another door around the corner before Celestia turned her light on again.

“What the hell was that?” I asked quietly
“The rumored Dark creatures, I was right to come here with you, for I fear you may of met with a terrible fate. Those creatures resembled our magical kind and the humans. My conclusion is that a Necromancer is present in Equestria!” Celestia observes
“You mean those magic things in the stories where they resurrect and make an army of the dead sort of thing?” I ask
“Yes, this is most concerning. If they are hanging around dark places, any holes to the ancient cities are dangerous and a threat of a dead army may be upon us. A Necromancer has not been seen in 700 years. The last one was named Dark Tidings III, a unicorn that challenged my rule and took a considerable amount of brave ponies to the grave” Celestia says

The rest of the ponies were very quiet. They had been talking among themselves, giving myself, Twilight and Celestia a conversation.

“How did the last Necromancer meet his end?” Twilight asks Celestia
“Ironically, his own creation did the true blow. He made an abomination, pouring such Dark Magic into his creation to make a pseudo-Alicorn enough to challenge myself but, despite the Necromancer being equal in power, it was angry and very powerful, not intentionally, he blasted the Necromancer that in turn, ended his own existence. His blindness mistaked the Necromancer for me as it’s one oversight was sight itself” Celestia explains
“And this one could probably be more clever if he knows about the previous one. It may have knowledge of Humanity” I theorized
“Indeed, we should make for the exit so I can teleport us back. Being here is no longer safe as our presence in this zone is alerted, keep your machete drawn at all times Joel, and do not lower it!” Celestia says

I think putting away my machete would have been bad idea anyway, it’s not exactly rocket science. But one thing is clear, I may not of gotten the exact answers I’d of hoped for, but some insight of the past came through and I did scavenge a few artifacts including the diary a few photos of random people and the like.

But I think we’ve rather trailed off the tourist path and into the Mortal Danger zone.

Celestia and I stayed close by as we were the experts on the Human race and also this Machete will slice any dead enemy that dares come this way, I even sharpened it so they can have a clean death.

On the other hand, this silence is getting to me. Those dark creatures could be right in front of us and we may not of known it or they could be far away by now. In any case, we cleared the bottom floor.

“Princess, the coast looks clear” Dash reports
“Thank you Rainbow Dash, alright. We should leave before they return” Celestia advises
“Yeah, I think we overstayed our welcome” I said
“This place is rather garish isn’t it?” Rarity says in disgust

Seriously Rarity? It’s a ruin, of course it looks ugly! What? Was she expecting the skeletons to look like Neighbert Patticolt? (That is the worst name I’ve ever seen and I will never mention it again)

But yes, this place being all ruiny is really getting to me. And I don’t want to die to those things, no thank you!

So, I cannot help but fell the place is too quiet. Where were those dead creatures that hunted us mere minutes ago? They cannot of gotten very far and if they haven’t gotten far, they must be near! That being said, I keep my machete drawn and kept my eyes peeled.

I am going to admit it, those things scared me! Of the seconds I saw them fully, the black stuff emanating from them, the teeth and also just the sheer numbers of them made me panicky.

“So, Princess. Aside from the monsters, any good memories come out of this?” I ask Celestia
“Just Celestia will do fine Joel, and yes, there were some pleasant memories of happier times I can remember. Watching Luna grow up with me, when we discovered we could manipulate the sun and the moon, when we are talking to each other alone and maybe some of that ice cream on that shop down the road from where we lived. I can still taste the cookies and cream from that place, still remember the smile the vendor had as children after school would line up with their parents to get an ice cream.” Celestia reminisces
“Sounded like a fine childhood if it weren’t for the war” I said
“Indeed, but even after it started, Luna and I as well as our father remained together as ponies and that was more valuable than any amount of bits ever. So, how about you?” Celestia says
“Me? Memories of Abigail come back, happy ones. We dated for a year before I disappeared. We didn’t talk much at first but then we started seeing each other more and then one night of working together alone, we just kissed and it felt like the best thing ever. There weren’t that slow motion fireworks in the background sort of thing but it felt like my heart just burst open in love.” I explained about Abigail

I miss Abigail, I feel guilty too, she probably spent eternity looking for me only for me not to be found. I had to control myself not to let any tears out, but like I said, I miss Abigail so much.

“Love, not a thing I’ve ever had much time for, what with responsibilities and nobles trying to boost their position and think the world owes them everything” Celesita reflects sadly
“Maybe you should, I’ve never known what marriage feels like but I can tell you having a girlfriend you truly love feels so…fulfilling, god I sound so sappy and romantic” I say
“Some day Joel, maybe I’ll retire and pass my knowledge onto a successor, perhaps Twilight can do it. I’ll settle down and find somepony who interests me and maybe we could sit down and talk our hearts out. I feel quite envious of Princess Cadence: Princess of Love and my niece” Celestia mentions
“You have a niece?” I ask
“Well not a blood relative, but she was near the meteor around the same distance. She was only a newborn child when that hit. We ended up adopting her as a niece during the war. She is now married to Twilight Sparkle’s brother, Shining Armor. He’s a wonderful stallion, very loyal and protective and one of the best guards I’ve ever had in my long history of guards” Celestia gives a quick insight of Cadence and Shining Armor
“I should like to meet Princess Cadence sometime, Princess Luna too in person, apparently she can go through dreams, is that true?” I ask
“Yes, my sister does that, but-“ Celestia starts

Before Celestia could finish her sentence the loud shriek came back from behind and we saw the same horde of dark creatures coming towards us.

“Princess, you got to teleport us” Rarity pleads
“Unfortunately I can’t do that until we’re at the hole, the interference here is too big for a teleport and we could end up wedged into the ground itself, we need to be at the hole we entered in order to get a safe teleport” Celestia deflates the idea
“Well, shouldn’t we be running for our lives?” Dash asks impaitently
“Yeah, these meanies are so not invited for the party” Pinkie says

Pinkie must have had one weird upbringing or was drugged for life at some point, I don’t know how but she’s just weird and waaaaaay too happy about this.

“Well, why are we standing here twiddling our hooves? RUN!” Twilight makes a fair point

How does a pony twiddle their hooves? Actually, I don’t want to know! But running for our lives towards that light takes top priority now.

One thing I’ve learned today about Unicorns, they can Gallop and shoot magic at the same time. Sure it’s not accurate as standing still, same as with a gun really. But in Twilight and Celestia’s case, they really don’t need to be accurate as there is a big enough wall of these enemies that it would be impossible to miss by shooting that direction.

So we were about to make it to light hole, about 100 meters away when Rarity tripped ahead me. Now I am a no-man left behind kind of guy so I stopped for a second and picked Rarity up without a thought.

Now, I am sure Rarity is fit by pony standards, but that doesn’t help the fact that she is damned heavy. So I had to up my speed a tiny bit so I wasn’t too slow to be caught by the dark creatures and not too fast it as obvious I had magic. (I might trust Celestia a bit more today but still, there’s other countries who might find out about me and like I said before, I don’t think they’d be agreeable to my existence. Considering what remained of our race blew them the fuck up!)

“Everypony grab onto me, NOW!” Celestia shouts as we make it to the light

The ponies and I all do so as that feeling of teleportation hits us as I close my eyes.

When I open my eyes, the blue sky and yellow sun greet us as I realized we were out of the underground city.

Before I could get a breath, one dead monster lunged at me as I held a hand to stop him biting at me. Thinking quickly, I pulled my machete out and sliced at his neck, one hit got him off me but I hit him again and his head fell off to be sure.

And…oh my god! THAT’S DISGUSTING! EWWWWWWWW! Nasty insides of that creatures neck…oh god! I think I’m going to vomit! BLLLLAAARRRRRGGGHHH!

That is more disgusting than the movies show, thankfully Celestia magically knocked it down the hole so I couldn't see anymore.

“Yuck! That thing is DISGUSTING!” Rarity says
“You telling me, those horror movies I watched with Ellie looked tame compared to this” I said
“That…was…close” Fluttershy says quietly
“Yeah! That place, never again!” Dash says
“We have more of a problem I’m afraid my little ponies, a Necromancer is on the loose. I must convene with Luna at once, if any of those creatures show up near Ponyville, contact me at once!” Celestia orders

I can see the concern in Celestia’s eyes, Nercromancers must clearly be a real threat to Alicorns. That said, I need to find out more about this magic so the next time I meet those guys, they won’t stand much of a chance. Trust me, I’ll see them again!

Celestia teleports away, back to Canterlot I assume. I take a quick look around to make sure no more of those creatures are around. I sheath my machete back in as the girls and I made the walk back to Ponyville…

They say going against Princess Celestia may be the last thing you ever do. But few creatures can match her power, if this Necromancer is anywhere near powerful as the last one, there will be trouble for Equestria in the near future. What the Princess, Joel and the Elements saw was most likely just a small fraction of a dead army the Necromancer could possibly wield, and if possible, another Necro-Abomination could be in the making.

Nopony knew the Princess had ever left her castle, not even the guards. Celestia was smart enough to put illusion magic to fool her subjects. But nonetheless, she teleported directly into Luna’s room and woke her up immediately.

“Sister, what is it? Where hast thou been?! Thou disappeared from the castle entirely!” Luna shouted

Thankfully, Celestia had the sense to sound-proof the room before she woke her sister up.

“To explore a lost human city. I had a suspicion about the rumors of dark creatures and I was right.” Celesita explains
“What dost thou be suggesting? Surely thy brain is not thinking of…” Luna starts
“A Necromancer is loose, Luna. The Elements, Joel and I bumped into a whole horde of dead creatures clearly with the mark of one. Griffons, Ponies, Zebras and Humans even made up this horde” Celestia says
“A NERCOMANCER! Sister! This is most disturbing! I haven’t encountered one for 1100 years! We must act quickly!” Luna shouts
“Luna! Calm yourself, the last Necromancer was 700 years ago, even created an Alicorn abomination. And yes, we will act quickly, I must warn the heads of the every city of this.” Celestia raises her voice
“What about our niece? And Shining Armor too?” Luna asks
“We will inform them of this too. Princess Twilight knows of this of course, being there.” Celestia makes a plan

If anything could worry Princess Celestia, the being responsible must be very powerful. The Princesses may not have much time on their hands…

Author's Note

Joel, be careful what you wish for. You may not of got zombies but you got those creatures and Necromancer.

Oh yeah, Necromancers are freaking powerful in Equestria, considering Equestria's military size is not that comparable.

And for the title reference. Infected are just Zombies that go through a virus or something. They act like zombies but in reality, they aren't really zombies. Zombies are more like "On a random haloween like night" sort of thing. Chew on brains and might scream BRRAAAAAAIIIINNNSSS! Seriously? What happened to those? It's always INFECTED! These guys never died, a virus got them that way until you shoot them in the head, they aren't dead so calling them Undead seems not that great.

Something like Inferi from Harry Potter seems more like Undead since it's Dark magic to raise a Zombie like army

FEAST ON THEIR SOULS!! I mean umm...next chapter is here! You didn't see anything!

A Necromancer! Can you believe it? I’d of thought I’d just go through society and it’s problems just like the past but nope, turns out there is something that concerned even Celestia.

I can’t go back down there, not even alone. I’ll need to work on my magic more, I understand it more but I need to find out the full extent to what I can do.

Sometimes I wonder whether I should just Celestia, but I don’t know, for all she knows, a human with magical powers to her knowledge may spark hostile feelings and may deem me too dangerous.

For now, I guess I can stay social around Ponyville. No doubt Celestia is already investigating anything about this Necromancer.

Princess Celestia was a very concerned pony right now, any pony without a “My Princess is perfect” view could see that, the royal guard could see it.

Captain Valiant Heart was one such pony who could see this, he was so concerned as to why our fair princess was so concerned and out of it that he went up and asked himself as went to the throne room and asked the Princess what was happening.

Now, Captain Valiant Heart was Shining Armor’s second in command back when he was the Captain, he was formerly known as Lieutenant Valiant Heart in those days. He was a pony of honor and rose through the ranks “properly” according to some of Shining Armor’s naysayers.

In fact, some ponies like to think that Shining Armor only ever got to Captain because of his relationship with Princess Cadence. But Princess Celestia denied these claims and said the Shining Armor earned his position.

But back to Valiant Heart, he entered after a brief come in from Celestia. He then gave a salute to the Princess and was motioned to sit down

“Ah, Captain. I was just about to send for you myself” Celestia greets the Captain.
“Is everything alright, Princess? You seem…concerned today” Valiant asked
“As much as I would like to say yes, I’m afraid I must say otherwise. I have a task for you” Celestia says
“Yes?” Valiant asks.
“Get Lieutenant Storm Fist to send a message to all guard posts around Equestria. They are to double their guard at once, we face a possibly great threat. After that, you need to train all guards here in more advanced techniques, I am sending Prince Shining Armor over here to help oversee this” Celestia sent her command
“Have the changelings decided to attack again?” Valiant asks
“No, this is something much, much worse I’m afraid. I cannot be in multiple places at once but if somewhere does come under attack, I need to be notified at once and protecting my ponies is top of the priority list” Celestia says worryingly
“It will be done at once, my Princess” Valiant bowed and gave one last salute.
“Hurry! Many lives will be saved with quick action” Celestia ushers him out the door

With such speed and haste did Valiant Heart gallop, a message urgent and vital to protecting many of Equestria’s ponies.

The Princess knew that if the Necromancer was cunning and powerful, it may be impossible to avoid a bloodshed, it may be that fear will be realized.

Perhaps the Elements of Harmony might have to taken from the Tree once more once the Necromancer is found.

I was out in the same green field once more, to test magic. I knew more about it from further research.

Magic must exit somewhere in order to be utilized as a weapon. From the experience of the slight hover I did earlier, the exit of my magic must be the fingers.

Magic has five core types of magic.

Neutral magic: Simple stuff like levitation, flipping a book with magic etc.
Friendly Magic: Magic that is used for good such as shields, attacking in self-defense kind of spells.
Chaos magic: Magic like what Discord would use. Things that harm subjects. Do weird and unpredictable things.
Harmonic Magic: Magic used for Heroic deeds. The Elements of Harmony do use this magic. Fire of Friendship does use this also. Some Harmonic spells require more than 1 caster to be used in order of the spell to work.
Dark Magic: Used for the intent of torture and/or killing. Evildoers do this magic and have to want to cause pain and suffering to those around them. If the user does not know what they are doing, they can corrupt themselves and be evil without themselves in control. Any caster that practices Dark Magic should be rid of ASAP!

I thought I’d try some levitation. According to the book, using your mind to make a “Magical” invisible hand to grab the object is how you levitate to put it simply.

That being said, I grabbed a apple off the tree and put it on the ground and stood a couple of meters away from it.

I tried and tried for 10 minutes straight, but nothing even moved the Apple. I harshly commanded it and even did a levitation dance that really made me look like a complete idiot.

Then I realize something, I’ve been attempting the Unicorn/Alicorn way, I don’t have a horn. I need to do it the human way.

This time I concentrate fully, I put out my hand as though I was reaching for the Apple. I felt it! A connection like my arm had grown extendable towards the apple. I open my eyes to see it floating, I use my hand to pull it back with a pulling motion and I catch it in my left hand.

A thrill of success flowed through my veins. I did multiple things with the apple such as tossing it away, moving it left and right, unfortunately I squished the apple on accident by putting my hand into a fist motion but hey! I can use the force now. Well I have a glowing orange hand while doing but hey, it works for me.

So I feel like I’ve achieved something today, it’s time to head back to the library and get something to eat, maybe one of Pinkie’s cupcakes, I’m afraid I’ve developed an addiction to them, I may have to go to extensive Cupcake rehab if I get any more addicted to them.

Meanwhile in APPPPPPPPPLLLLLEEEELLOOOOOOSSSAAA….

A dark shadow was approaching the Wild West-eque town of Appleloosa. None of the ponies were wise to their approaching at all, maybe nopony was looking in their general direction, or maybe it was hitting the sunset time and it could have been mistaken for something else maybe?

Whatever the cause, not even the dispatched Royal Guards saw the shadowy army approaching. They arrived in a black mist, riding along the bushes that were black in the sunset.

These shadowy forces were commanded by the Necromancer, but the Necromancer was not there in Appleloosa. He was somewhere else and commanded one of his “Generals” to lead this attack.

This town was not the only town under threat, along another town in Griffonia, Zebrica, Minotaur Kingdom and the Changeling Kingdom.

All towns were small towns and only Equestria seemed to of known of their presence. But the puny Skeleton crew of guards would go down very easily to the might of the Necromancer’s forces. It almost seemed like the Princess wanted these ponies to die so easily.

“All invading personal, the wait has been long enough! Attack your towns at will! Leave no Guards alive but make sure a couple of citizens escape so we can spread fear to their nations! ATTACK!” The Necromancer’s creepily disembodied voice rang through all his Necro forces.

The details will be spared, but one brave royal guard managed a dragonfire message to Celestia before he was sliced in the back. Blood filled the streets as Braeburn and couple of others escaped the town before the Necro army could get to them but not one guard survived but the fought valiantly to the end.

When all others had their life taken, one guard was on the ground, close to death. The captain of the invading force (A human) went up to the guard and put a boot on his face and spat on him.

“Pitiful fool! Did you believe a weakling like you could hold a force like us? My master has distaste for all of your magical kind, especially ponies! Imagine how pleased he will be, when I deliver your head to him while my troops feast on you and your comrades’ flesh!” The Captain says, licking his lips

The other Necro-Soldiers laughed at the guard rather creepily.

“I hope you choke!” The guard spits on the boot
“So be it…” The captain says

The Captain pulls out his blade with the intent on beheading the guard, but before his blade could strike, a pure white ray blew both the captain and the forces back away, some of the forces wiped out.

Standing in front of them was a very furious Princess Celestia!

“Attacking my little ponies in cover of darkness? How dare you?!” Celestia attempts to restrain her anger
“What’s it to you Sunbutt? You sent these ponies to their death, you thought a skeleton crew of guards would help? We ought to be thanking you for our delicious feast we are about to get” The captain’s dark voice taunted gleefully

Celestia’s anger may of started to cloud her eyes as she blasted every Necro enemy except the captain in one wall of light, then she proceeded to insert a blade of light into the captain’s stomach all in matter of 5 seconds.

“Now then, where else have you attacked?” Celestia demands angrily
“I’ll never tell” The captain says defiant
“Your actions may be considered brave were you with my side! But that is not the case, now I will ask again! WHERE ELSE HAVE YOU ATTCKED MY LITTLE PONIES?!” Celestia shouted as he started chocking the air out of the captain.
“Nowhere! Just towns in other kingdoms” The captain gasped for air

Princess Celestia was not a cruel pony, she fixed the wounds of the captain and pushed him away.

“Send a message to your master: Stay out of Equestria or suffer the consequences!” Celestia said harshly

The captain did well to run away from the angry Celestia, although she was very angry, she had some control over her anger. However, she turned to the last remaining guard and bent over him.

“T-That w-was impressive, Princess” The guard spluttered
“Yes indeed, but I was too late, I could not save you or your squad or the townsponies” Celestia lamented
“Three escaped your h…highness…the Apple farmer and two others ran out of the town before those dead…things could get to them” the guard said, coughing up some blood
“Which way did they go?” Celestia asked
“Towards the north, if nothing got to them, they could be 5 miles from here by now” the guard answered
“Thank you, I am sorry that I cannot save you, you fought bravely and valiantly and with honor. You have done me proud, you have done Equestria proud” Celestia said
“We f-failed, the private to my left got the dragonfire message and was sliced, he was more brave than I. They….they snuck up on us your highness, we should of seen that coming, we are an embarrassment to the Royal Guard!” the guard says
“No, you were not, you may not of succeeded, but your spirit and courage to fight the enemy is something not many ponies possess. You were outnumbered and yet you stood your ground and allowed three ponies to escape. To me, that’s a bravery that we as Equestrians could use by example” Celestia reassures the guard
“I can feel it…the life in me is going…I…” The guard started going cold
“Say no more my loyal guard, go. Rest in peace, may the creator show the way” Celestia said

The guard put a smile on and then drew no more breath as he went still and no life remained as he died in Princess Celestia's hooves. Princess Celestia gave a kiss on the forehead on the guard and stood up. There was no time to bury the solider or anypony else, three lives may be in risk and plenty more on the way during the warpath of the Necromancer.

Celestia flew as a Golden comet throughout the sky, there was work to be done…

Author's Note

Now Dead soldiers revived by a Necromancer may not be able to talk in other things. But here they can, even if they were good in life, they are now evil and bent to the will of the Necromancer. And also Zombie-like stuff because these guys can feast on the flesh of the recently departed.

Some may feel Celestia's fury out of character, but I rather think it's okay. What leader that cared about their subjects wouldn't be pissed if their subjects were attack under their muzzles.

Somehow none of these arrows fired at Joel hit him, either its stormtrooper aim or magic is just plain BS.

Across the magical world, cries of chaos rang as the Necro soldiers attacked a small village in each immortal country. Each leader found out about these creatures, how their subjects were slaughtered and outrage could be felt across the world that Discord could sense the chaos.

The next morning, the Immortals had been called to Canterlot castle by Princess Celestia, ponies had been moved from small towns to bigger city where guards could concentrate their numbers.

The guards were as easily in fury as their own brothers and sisters in arms were slain to this enemy. It was only natural that a want for revenge was thriving through these ponies.

The Immortals made it to Canterlot Castle where they must discuss how to deal with the new threat.

I woke up to a panicky Twilight, I asked her what was up and I was shoved a newspaper headline. A headline that depicted a massacre on Appleloosa.

The Necromancer has played his/her hand!

What if the Necromancer showed his forces here next? Surely he knew about the Elements? They wouldn’t dare try so close to Canterlot after one invasion surely?

That being said, I got my machete and my bow and arrows and went for a walk on the town.

“My fellow Immortals, thank you for coming here on such short notice. As you all know, we have a big threat on our hands that has struck not only your homes but mine and your fellow Immortals as well” Celestia spoke up

A room full of very old creatures but still retaining a youthful look nonetheless were present in the room. All these creatures were closest to the meteors when it struck almost 3000 years ago. Immortality had been given as the magic was strongest to those very near it.

If a room of Immortals is gathered, it is either a happy long reunion, or a VERY BIG threat is around and unfortunately, the latter was the case this time.

There was Princess Celestia, Luna and Cadence of the ponies, Emperor Sharp Beak of the griffons and Queen Clawford as his wife, Shaman Zebecca of Zebrica, Queen Chrysalis of the Changelings, and Iron Wall of the Minotaurs.

“Yes, what are we gonna do about those pests?” Chrysalis asks
“Somegriffon tell me why SHE’S here? Last I checked, Chrysalis invaded Canterlot for a pile of love and almost got away with it too” Emperor Beak asks
“Queen Chrysalis, while a slimebag, is here at mine sister’s request” Luna answers
“That is enough, we need to focus more on this Necromancer!” Zebecca says
“Iron wall agrees!” Iron Wall agrees
“Still with the third person eh?” Clawford mutters to Iron Wall

Celestia gave a sigh and spoke up.

“Our countries have been invaded by this Necromancer, clearly he wants something out of us but the question still remains, what will we do?” Celestia points out
“We fight! I will not have some dead-conjurer bigshot make a mockery out of me and get away with it!” Beak raises a clawed fist in outrage
“HEAR HEAR!” Most of the room sounded

An agreement looked quick until this comment came up

“What about the human I’ve been hearing about, Celestia? How do we know he isn’t the Necromancer?” Zebecca points out
“Joel cannot possibly be it, we have talked with him and he’s been with Princess Twilight the whole time” Cadence spoke up
“Who’s to say that? It may have been illusion magic. A human shows up after we thought them all but purged and then a few days later, these monsters attack our kingdoms! I smell the Necromancer on his flesh!” Emperor Beak says his accusation
“Surely thou must be jesting” Luna facehoofs
“It isn’t a ridiculous theory Luna, The human has been reported to be out of town a few times, how do we know he hasn’t raised an army?” Zebecca reports
“So you HAVE been spying around, Zebecca! I knew you were lying when you denied having spies in Equestria!” Cadence points a hoof at her
“I did it out of concern, Equestria has had many weird things happen” Zebecca says fairly
“Iron Wall says the human must be destroyed!” Iron Wall shouts
“YEAH!” The griffons shouted
“All in favor of this motion say Aye!” Zebecca says

Unfortunately, everyone except the ponies said Aye, so that means that now, Joel is now an enemy of the Immortals and must be killed…immediately.

“Motion passed, the meeting is therefore adjourned! The Equu’s Allied Nations shall go to war with the Necromancer!” Celestia says regretfully.

Six hours later…

“Joel! JOEL! Where are you?” Twilight called panickally
“Here, Twilight” I answered

There was something up with Twilight, she was clearly in a hurry and needed me.

“Joel you have to go!” Twilight says
“What? Why?” I ask
“read this” Twilight says as she shoved a letter to me

Dear Joel,

You need to leave Ponyville at once! Earlier today, the council of Immortals were called here to Canterlot. The good news is, we have united to fight this Necromancer's forces. The bad is that the everypony excluding Luna, Cadence and myself, think you're the Necromancer or in his inner circle at the very least.

They are coming right now as we speak, fly! Get out of Ponyville! Hide! Do not come near civilization unless you have a good enough disguise. If you move out of Equestria, the ponies cannot help you but DO NOT ENTER THE CHANGELING KINGDOM!

Also, avoid the diamond dogs if you can and do not hide in the Everfree as well.

Enclosed is a travelling bag with 200 bits and food enough for a couple of days.

I’m sorry it came to this, Good luck and do not reappear anywhere until the war is over or that it is safe to appear again.

Princess Celestia

I can’t believe this! THEY THINK I DID THIS?! They better sleep with one eye open if I’m in their neighborhood.

“All right, I better get going then” I say at once.
“Please stay safe, Joel” Twilight wishes
“I will, and thank you for all the friendship these past few days” I say

To my right, guards of all kinds came rushing to my location with Crossbows, spears and blades.

“THERE HE IS! KILL HIM!” A griffon shouted

You know, the element of SURPRISE would have been good instead of announcing it out loud! But yeah, I have an idea of something to escape. I am probably going to get a worse reputation at this point but I don’t think it matters at this point.

“Twilight, do you trust me?” I ask Twilight as they were drawing closer
“What?” Twilight looked at me like I grew another head
“Do. You. Trust. Me?” I said it slower
“Y-Yes” Twilight answers
“Good, then play along and act scared for this one” I ordered

I pulled out my machete and put to Twilight’s throat as they came in shooting range. I put my best "evil thug" face on.

“BACK! BACK! ANY OF YOU COME CLOSER, SHE DIES!” I shout at them in a threatening manner

Twilight looked scared and shocked I was doing this, but nethertheless, she played along. I feel bad for making Twilight into this situation but if I outright ran with their weapons raised, I don’t think the super speed would save me. I need their weapons lowered, even a split-second helps.

“ANY OF YOU SO MUCH AS ATTEMPT TO KILL ME HERE, HER PRETTY LITTLE THROAT WILL BE SLIT WIDE OPEN!” I shouted maliciously

Man, hearing myself is creeping me out! But I put on an evil smile to show I was serious and put the machete closer to her throat.

"All of you! Lower your weapons!" A Griffon commanded everyone

See, if any of these guys still watched movies, they’d see through this trick right away, but thankfully they lowered their weapons. Seriously, this is going WAAAAY too well.

(Note: Alicorns would not really be in this position so easily, The Fact that everyone thinks Joel is the Necromancer sort of clouds any vision of realisticness and common sense so to say. Well not Griffons exactly, they are so aggressive they can be blinded to things that can be obvious, that being said, Griffons are NOT to be underestimated)

“Sorry Twilight, this probably is going to hurt” I mutter to her

Twilight did not say a word as I summoned all the force I could and shoved Twilight straight into the Griffon Emperor and Super Speeded the hell out.

(TheDawsonator1 would like you to know that he doesn’t condone any sort of violence against women, so no hitting! Unless it’s sexual!)

“GET HIM! GET HIM!” The Emperor shouts as I sped off.

Arrows came flying my direction and I got to cover and ran outside the town in a matter of 30 seconds, and with that I was running as fast as I could and far away as I could from this place. I never knew I could run so fast in my life.

After passing a few more hills, I stopped and caught my breath as I saw Ponyville have a shield placed over it, that means I can’t go back. For a few glorious days it was a home, a friendly town with a many a quirk, but it felt like a home in this future.

But I could not have time to reflect for I saw both Pegasus and Griffon forces flying my direction with the rest not far behind.

To looked to my left and discovered a black mist heading my toward the EAN (Equus’ Allied Nations), but the EAN are too focused on my direction to notice.

This gives me an idea, if I lure the EAN’s gaze towards them, a battle must happen! While they are fighting, I can lose the tail.

It’s high risk but high reward, so I put my plan in motion at once.

“HEY LOSERS! LET’S PLAY TAG! YOU’RE ALL IT! COME AND GET ME!” I called out
“There he is! Shoot him!” a Pegasus said

I started running again towards the black mist. Really, I must be either a damned genius or out of my mind. Probably both and thank god for that or this would never work.

Both the EAN and the Necro-Forces saw each other in which I dodged right and one arrow hit the back of my pack but not in my pack somehow as I escaped into the nearby woods.

I ran and ran and ran and ran as far away from the battle until I ran out of breath, I looked around and waited a few minutes before I was certain I lost the tail.

I was a wanted man now in a middle of a war and right now, I had nowhere to go specifically but I walked somewhere, I don’t know where but I will go somewhere…

Author's Note

I like to see Griffons as Aggressive but can be tactically smart sort of beings
Zebras are more wise creatures
Minotaurs are the muscle of the planet
Changelings are the tactically superior race
and Ponies are well...Ponies!

And Also, realistically, Joel should of died as he ran but the LAW OF FICTION COMMANDS HIS FATE! But if that were true for realism, no hero would be alive.

If it rained everytime I felt sad, I'd feel Sad more often, IT'S HOT OVER HERE!

It is raining…rather heavily at that. I walked for what seemed a couple of hours in the woods, I was tired and I am certain nobody knew where I was exactly, I made sure to turn a different direction to where they saw me escape to throw them off, but to rely on that to fool them is unwise.

How did it turn to this? One moment, I was relaxing with newfound friends, then I became a escaped wanted human now.

The canopy of the woods only provided so much protection from the rain so I was soaked. Night was falling and I needed somewhere sheltered, civilization was out immediately as I am sure word passes around fast and I cannot count on anybody not being a snitch.

Thankfully, a cave within jumping distance came into view, with great difficulty I jumped and brought my body up on the ledge. I finally had shelter from the rain as I was sort of shivering from the wind blowing also.

As tempting as it was to find a way to make a fire as night had fallen, anyone could see it and know I am here, the cave didn’t look that obvious to a non-flight type creature but still, I think the “Survival guide from watching too many movies” is just saying that I need take a lot of caution.

I looked through my backpack and I had found the following items:

1X Blanket
200X Bits
20X Apples
1X Bottle of Water filled to the Brim
1X Letter
1X Lighter
1X Torch

Basically, Celestia hooked me up to survive out her for a few days and then it’s up to me, I didn’t know if Equestria even had torches (The electrical ones with batteries mind you, not the flame ones that look badass in movies for some reason the way they hold it, which makes me believe the lighter is for when the batteries run out or something impromptu later on.), the blanket was gonna keep me warm for tonight, shame a pillow didn’t come with it.

My conclusion is that Celestia worked really fast or came really prepared for anything, which would make sense as she has survived for 3000 years and had her fair share of battles and such. I am willing to bet that Celestoa told no one but Luna and Cadence of what she did as the other nations would surely be furious at this action and see Equestria as traitors.

Maybe Celestia felt like she bonded with me back in that city, we both did tell of our pasts a bit. She may be around 3000 years old but she’s still a human at heart, thankfully, she has been very kind and generous as ponies describe her and for that I am thankful and in her debt. I just hope I am around long enough to see her again.

But enough thought from me tonight, I need to get to sleep tonight…

Celestia was not a happy mare today, how could she be? The last human around was on a death sentence by her “Comrades”, someone she considered a friend, one she felt she rather bonded with and enjoyed. And then there’s the Necromancer, the EAN was at War with his forces.

One question got Celestia, how did the Necromancer build such a huge army right under everypony’s muzzles? Surely somepony would of noticed it? But alas, it was too late. She had to thank Joel, she knew Joel had lured his pursers into what would have been a surprise attack no doubt. Thanks to him, Ponyville was saved a slaughter.

In fact, The Necromancer seemed quick and smart, attack the Elements while all the leaders were debating about the very attacking force, but alas, his plan fell short thanks to Joel.

Celestia knew Joel was alive, if he was dead somepony would of reported it. It sickened Celestia! That the rest of the Immortals wanted his head for something he didn’t do for so little evidence of him doing it.

KNOCK KNOCK!

“Who’s there?” Celestia asked carefully
“It is us, Luna!” Luna’s voice came from the door
“Come in, Lulu” Celestia’s voice came more calmly

Princess Luna came in, she too was on Joel’s side and always backed her sister throughout these times of war.

“Sister, hast thou heard anything of Joel?” Luna asks
“As far as I know, he isn’t dead. I made sure he could escape with supplies” Celestia said confidently
“Didst thou know he had magic, Sister?” Luna interrogated Celestia
“I had a feeling, nothing more. I do not know how the humans got any magic, especially Joel, whom had been frozen before we all turned. Perhaps it’s pure dumb luck he got magic. Whatever happened Lulu, I am sure it will help him in days to come” Celestia looks out the window as she talks
“We shall look for him in our dreams, to be sure of his wellbeing and offer council if need be” Luna put a hoof on Celestia’s shoulder
“Thank you Luna, be sure to give my regards to Joel and wish him luck” Celestia says

Luna then left Celestia’s side to go to her dreamscape, Celestia sighed as she again, looked out the window where it was pouring rain, she hoped wherever Joel ended up, he remains safe.

More bad dreams come to me, I had dreamed I had been executed publically in front of the sneering crowd, as the axe fell, a familiar swirl showed itself and the scene was gone: Princess Luna had arrived.

“AWAY NIGHTMARES! THOU SHALT NOT HARM THIS MAN!” Luna shouted

Luna had landed next to me, it was kind of comforting seeing here after everything.

“Princess Luna, good to see you again” I say
“And to thee, Joel. It is good to see thee in healthy condition” Luna says
“Yeah, I have no idea where I am, I ran so fast I could of dodged the rain, I found a safe cave in some woods” I said
“A wise choice, but be careful where you choose your spots, if too in sight, somepony may find you” Luna warns
“Thanks, my cave was elevated so they’d either have to climb or fly up” I informed her
“Excellent, thou seems smart enough to know some precautions. Tia sent me to wish thou well and to see how thou were” Luna explained
“Aww, didn’t know she cared so much about me” I joked
“Tia values thy friendship more than you know, the first thing she did was send you those supplies and the warning. We must say, we are grateful for thy luring of our forces towards the Necro-forces” Luna says more on the subject
“Thank her for me by the way, I owe her my life” I requested
“Make sure thou repays her by living and not doing rash things” Luna says sternly
“Oh damn, I was hoping to cartwheel into the Griffon capital and dance to “I’m a Barbie Girl” just to lighten the mood” I said sarcastically
“What art thou babbling about?” Luna asks in a confused manner
“Oh nevermind, it’s a thing anyone born before the 2000s would understand” I say

Yep, those were some decent times alright, nobody going in public glued to a phone, music was enjoyable and not something where you just think someone put garbage in a blender and called it music, Video games were going into 3D, back when Online gaming wasn’t a necessity of games basically.

Say what you will, there really wasn’t much hope for the generation I left, if anything girls post on Facebook gave you any indication.

(Now, no offense to all you girls out there, but I see a lot of you attention whores and don’t think I don’t notice. Also, duck faces can only be pulled off by certain types of girls and 99% of you aren’t those girls, so stop posting duck face photos please, oh and all those "All men are the same" posts too.)

“But pray tell, what is thy plan as of now?” Luna asks
“I have no idea, I’ve never really done anything like this, sure I’ve watched movies but real life is so much different. For now, I’ll just say out of sight and if I can risk it, slice any lone Necro-Soldiers I can sneak up on” I say after a moment of thought.
“Be very careful when forcing battle Joel, a heavy hoof with your weapon and tactless thinking is a path to a quick death” Luna warns
“I know, I can’t just slice through armies of anything, but I know sooner or later, a fight will have to break out” I shared my insight
“Very well, wherever thou ends up, thou must avoid certain places. The Changeling Kingdom is a start, very vicious and identity is uncertain. If thou find thy self at the gates of Tartarus, stay out at all costs, getting back out with sanity and skin is very rare. Next is the badlands, very desolate even for us, many things can dwell in those and most not suitable for thee. Last but not least, avoid any capitals even Canterlot” Luna advises
“Thanks Luna, I’ll try to keep that all in mind” I say

The dream was starting to swirl, which must mean it’s time to wake up…

“Remember Joel, be very careful and don’t stray into those places and do not pick fights you cannot hope to win” Luna says as she disappears

I woke up for the morning, the first morning since I escape Ponyville, well here goes nothing…

Author's Note

Why does it rain when one person feels sad? If it could, I would shed tears more often, it's is 35 degrees with god awful humidity!

But yes, it's time for Joel TO GO ON AN ADVENTURE! And he will not be coming back with riches.

How Dare You?! I Shovel you into a hole and then you have the nerve to crawl back out.

You know, I never liked politicians…yes I am well aware of the facepalm you just did as I said that. But let’s face it, these guys are just assholes that got given a power seat.

3000 years later, this fact really hasn’t changed that much, well the Princesses are the “Changed” part but the others, they didn’t care about the fact that I am just an innocent bystander, I have a feeling they used me to have a war. How do I know that? Because my flesh is spelling out “Scapegoat” with a capital T!

See, I had the sense to read up on other immortal races and know what the world was like. I wasn’t going to be that blind guy from the past who knows nothing of the future. I want to know and I needed to know, see that’s another thing these so called leaders are assholes about: the know!

Now, what I need to know is that I am being hunted with no end in sight until the Necromancer is destroyed. That’s simple and easy but for all I know, there is much more knowledge like the how and the why. I know why, S-C-A-P-E-G-O-A-T! Do I need to spell that again, the griffons and minotaur are warlike creatures and the Zebra probably cowered towards a majority with no backbone. Celestia and the other Princess had the sense to vote against the others despite the majority crushing them. It’s going down with the ship!

But that enough about that, whatever rhyme or reason, the outside world has to be survived. Someone may well ask if I wanted revenge. The answer is to the Griffons and Minotaurs, maybe but on the whole no, they cross my path and leave me no choice to kill then it will happen.

I am NOT going the pretend like some little insecure girl that I won’t have to kill, it’s going to happen, Necro-soldiers or Magical creatures, blood will be shed. 3000 years did not change a damned thing about this fact. I am not saying I will openly kill, I am saying that when the time comes, I won’t back down.

When I do kill them, it will be without a doubt, them who dared to try strike at me.

Just gonna repeat that: I. AM. NOT. A. COLD. BLOODED. KILLER!

I woke up from a dream conversation with Luna, I did not move instantly as I listened around for any movement, I did not hear any movement but nevertheless, I moved slowly and peeked out.

Satisfied I am of nobody around, if there is any sort of ill against me, that fact will not remain a fact for very long. I get my gear and put it on my back and then peer out once more, it’s clear.

I hop down onto the ground, I slightly slipped from the mud of the rain last night. I remembered the direction I came and walked towards a new direction. I didn’t use Super Speed because I might hit a tree and also I may run into enemies and get shot by arrows or sliced by a blade. Because that would be a fun breakfast, wouldn’t it?

Speaking of breakfast, I grabbed an apple out and ate it. It was courtesy of Sweet Apple Acres and I can say, the grow some damn delicious apples, they put Pink Lady Apples to shame back in the past as I was a fan of those apples. But it’s succulent juices provide me the fuel to carry on and not have the hunger in the stomach.

“Hey! See anything?” I hear a voice about 20 meters away
“Nothing! I don’t think he’s here” another voice says

Now, thankfully there were some rocks I could climb on and scope the new company out, I spotted them and they were Earth Ponies so they couldn’t fly or teleport up here on random chance.

“Bah! This job is so boring! I want to get some bad guys!” The first one complains
“At least it’s better than guarding a door for 12 hours straight that nopony ever enters” The second one said reasonably

So, these guards have been promoted to “Door-guarders” to “Expendable scouts” have they? I am not killing them though despite the fact I could get them both easily.

“That is true, why would anyone want to stand at a door to a room not even Celestia herself would use?” The first agrees
“Yeah, Princess Celestia said capture the human if we find him, I’ve heard all the other nations want him dead.” The second one mentions
“Yeah, I’d murder the guy, just put a spear through his head and be done with it and say a griffon did it. But he’s clearly not in these woods” The first one gives his insight

Another 30 seconds pass before their voices trail off and I deem it safe to proceed.

See, I didn’t kill them because let’s face it, kill the patrols would just give a neon sign saying I was here. If I had killed them, I would either be far away or still in the area waiting for the next patrol to come by.

I never got that, why is it that when you discover a patrol is gone missing nobody assumes they’re dead and just send another patrol of the same size and skill. You may as well just pick a random guy and kill him before he got out the front door.

By not killing them, it’s not cold-blooded murder and it doesn’t give away my position. Both sides have a win-win! They don’t know I’m here so as far as I am concerned, I AM NOT HERE!

If I were a guy in charge of these patrols and found my patrol is missing or dead, I wouldn’t just send another one, I’d either keep my forces away from the area until such time or two, send an army in there. There’s no way no one would just get through that unnoticed.

But enough of that, I continued on and out of the woods, were it different circumstances, I wouldn’t mind a proper walk around as these woods are quite nice but such is life.

More green plains greeted my eyes and I quickly scanned for any enemies before I went superspeed mode. None were there, this is most fortunate for I was expecting a base to be nearby but it must be in another direction.

I safely Superspeeded past a couple set of hills without attracting attention to my knowledge, it is quite unsettling when you know they are looking for you but you don’t know where. They could be right behind me and I wouldn’t know it! (I turned around at the very thought)

But something caught my eye and my nose, a horrible sight and smell and upon further inspection, I’m surprised I didn’t vomit.

“Jesus!” I muttered to myself

Two ponies’ insides were gored out at the base of the hill I was on, a blood trail indicates they were attacked somewhere up the hill. They were not soldiers, they were normal ponies, backpackers by the looks of things. They must not of gotten the memo about the Necromancer and therefore were clueless to this,

It is clear it was the Necromancer’s minions that did this and they feast upon their flesh, I can only hope their deaths were not painful and that the attackers chocked.

That’s just low, attacking defenseless ponies like that, don’t get me wrong, it was bound to happen but that doesn’t make any less low and sad. I checked their supplies for anything I could use (What? It’s not like they need it and I have no idea where I even ran off to, so let’s not add one more body to the pile), all I found was a map and some hay which I can’t really eat.

The map is of Equestria but it does not help me now as I have no clue where I am, the only way to make use of it is to find a town and learn of it’s name, find it on the map and figure out where to go next.

Before I leave, I notice one of them has a shovel, they may be strangers but if think they deserve a burial rather than this gored view here. So I dug and dug for what seemed an hour and a half by my estimate, I put their bodies in and then put the dirt over them.

“Rest in peace ponies! I hope the afterlife is a good one. I promise those monsters will not survive much longer should they be in my sights” I said to the grave

I can imagine someone like Rarity seeing this or poor Fluttershy, they wouldn’t want to see this, I just hope there aren’t anymore out there that are not aware of the Necromancer.

CRACK!

I turned around to the graves and saw hoofs sticking out of the ground with green circles. This can’t be good, I got my bow and arrows out and waited for the dead ponies to come out.

As they fully got out of their graves, I shot an arrow at the first one and missed (WHAT? I only shot these arrows once, did you expect me to be a crackshot?), I shot another and hit the target this time but the other had closed in so I pulled the machete out and dodged his swipe and beheaded him.

I retrieved my arrows and decided to depart from the scene before anything else happens. That shit creeped me out and also I got to work on that aim with the Bow and Arrows, that second shot was luck and luck is something I don’t want to rely on.

In any case, I rush to find a place for the night…

Author's Note

I like to think Joel as a guy who doesn't have to like it but he'll do it to survive kind of guy and like the fandom, the Griffons are just warmongering assholes, same with the Minotaurs in this story. The Zebras are more wise and the Ponies...are ponies...duh!

But yeah, I also like the picture the Necromancer's forces as bloody and ruthless with his prey.

Icy Breeze has joined your party! You will now get 1.5x the likes on this story with this party memeber active.

As I headed west, a couple of days later, I caught a newspaper showing Manehattan’s victory. The Ponies have done well to protect themselves if I do say so myself.

One question still hits me, where is the Necromancer? Is he even in Equestria? He could be in any country, anywhere on the planet at any time, he must be somewhere though. Although I suspect he won’t appear until all threats to him are gone, probably rule the world with a iron fist and turned us into his dead slaves…no thank you!

But on my travels west, it was starting to snow. According to the last newspaper I saw, it’s December 18th 5015 (Or 1001 after Nightmare Moon). It’s close to Christmas now, I wish I could spend it with someone, Abigail in particular, I miss her.

She honestly felt like “The One”! But now she’s 3000 years gone! Remind me to burn that scientist’s grave if I ever find it, oh and burn that damned Necormancer too if I ever find him too and maybe the Girffon, Minotaur and Changeling leaders as well, their stupidity got me in this stupid mess. If they had any sense of reason, they would of seen me as suspicious at most but not a damned automatic death warrant.

But yeah, politics beside, there ain’t gonna be a fun Christmas for me. Yes, I am aware they called that Hearth’s Warming but it’s basically Christmas and it will always be Christmas and any human that pretends different is just kidding themselves.

The thing though is that I am not really warm since my clothes were a more summer outfit but thankfully the lighter served a purpose of lighting a fire when I rested but I extinguished the light when sleep came so nobody would notice me.

But it is a thick snow to get through, and I’d rather not be stuck in someone’s sights despite the lower visibility, of course I had my bow and my machetes at the ready in case of an attack.

But as I walked through snow I suddenly felt a dropping feeling as I realized that one: I was falling through a hole Two: I had hover powers to slow down and land safely.

This hole had lead to another human city…I guess I wasn’t expecting another city reunion so soon but what can you do? Okay, this is more of a town, there was only a couple of tall buildings.

If the last time I entered a human city told me anything, it’s that it’s highly likely for the Necromancer’s forces to be present.

If I were a bad guy base, I’d probably be around the tower, it would have a commanding view, in the center of the city and lots of room to store things. That’s where I’d put my undead army if I had one.

Honestly, I am sure they must of noticed some snow or something coming from the light source and they’re around somewhere or they are waiting for me to come to them.

I get out my torch and turn it on and start walking towards the tall building, why? Why not just jump out? See, I learned an ability to boost with my magic up, think of it like a jetpack sort of thing, but it drains magic quick. Anyway, I figure that maybe there’s something I could find out and send Celestia’s way or maybe some plan for the other countries.

Speaking of other countries, a major city in the Minotaur lands fell, the Changeling Prince has been assassinated, but the Zebras and Griffons have defended and retaken some cities.

Word is that Queen Chrysalis practically annihilated the assassins with so much malice that it could of woken Discord up were he in his stone prison. The Prince was no immortal but he was still a child of the queen and a leader and naturally Chrysalis was pissed.

But, in this snowy place, it’d be a decent place to hide something wouldn’t you say? There weren’t any towns nearby and the hole was covered by snow, so you can understand that fact that a look around wouldn’t go amiss.

I pulled a machete out, you never know when a surprise attack will come and I like to be prepared for things, I would say anything but then I’ll miss something and it will kill me. Some may call it paranoia, I call it being sensible with fear.

This town like the last one is really giving a horror movie vibe, there are so many places to hide a waiting monster that if I put a flare for everyone, the city would be too bright. But I walked and walked and walked and walked, but nothing came out yet, this only raised the caution meter within me and the suspicion too.

I kid you not, the place is dead quiet and my footsteps were like atom bombs going off to me despite me attempting to at least walk quietly. Part of me wished my magic had some form of night vision, then I wouldn’t be giving away my position in the dark.

I arrived close to the building and still nothing, if I were going to attack, I’d do it now, there are two exits beside the building which are narrow and easy to trap in.

But my attention was focused away from the building when I heard a pony-like scream happening not too far away.

I literally made Rainbow Dash jealous at the speed I ran to there, thankfully the screams silenced my footsteps as I found a cage, lit up by light and it was filled with dead ponies, or bones and bots of flesh hanging off the ponies…it was so disgusting too, I almost wanted to vomit.

But the mare that screamed had ceased as I saw her now dead by the minions eating her flesh, she looked very middle aged from her death. I looked in the cage to find what looked a teenage filly, a Pegasus at that with a Ice blue coat and a much lighter blue mane and tail. She had a ice in some sort of wind for a cutie mark.

That filly was the only one left in the cage and there were 5 of them…are they going to eat her? HELL FUCKING NO!

I shoot an arrow at the closest one, which drew their attention to me.

“Wassup assholes? Ponies are not food! Got that?” I say to them

Their charging was answer enough.

“Wrong answer, and your punishment shall be death, consider yourself lucky” I saw as I drew the other machete out.

Unfortunately for them, they didn’t have any weapons on them so I sliced them with ease and turned to that Teenage filly.

“You okay over there?” I say as I cut the lock on the cage
“No…they’re g-gone” The filly says weakly, looking towards the remains
“I’m sorry, had I came to this place sooner, they would have been saved, I assume they are your parents?” I ask

A nod was all I got.

“Those monsters, snacking on innocent ponies, especially while they are still alive. We must get out of here before more inevitably show up” I say to her
“O-Okay” She says as she leaves the cage
“What’s your name?” I ask her
“Icy Breeze” She says
“Fits the colour is suppose, my name is Joel and quite frankly, I’m surprised you haven’t thought me as the Necromancer yet” I introduce myself.
“If you were, you wouldn’t have saved me or sliced those monsters and that mean Necromancer wouldn’t show their face to anypony” She explains
“Very perceptive, I’ll give you that one. But when we run, you better behind me, if I tell you to run, you run, if I tell you to hide, you hide, got that?” I say to her
“Yes” She answers

Icy Breeze must be scared out of her mind, I won’t deny I am too but courage is not the absence of fear, but acting in the face of it.

“Follow me” I order

I went around the building again and down the street before I heard an alarm, they must of fixed some systems down here, but this ain’t good.

“INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT! ALL MINIONS INITIATE SECRUITY PROTOCOOL 12455!” A voice rang over the P.A
“Shit! Now they know we’re here, we gotta run towards that hole in the distance” I order

The Pegasus could fly and I could run fast with my magic, but minions were rising everywhere as we took a left and then a right to dodge the hordes.

Five minutes of dodging the hordes, we make it to the hole as Icy Breeze flies up in the hole and I concentrate my magic to my hands to propel me up in the air and out of the hole.

Breeze was on the ground panting, so was I in that matter, running away from huge hordes can be annoying and tiresome.

“That was close” I say
“Y-Yeah” She just says
“I say we leave before something happens” I suggest
“Good idea” She agrees

I start walking off in the opposite direction from whence I came, the snow tracks were still there from when I “dropped” in. Icy Breeze was also following me too, I have no idea what to do with her but if she was coming with me, she needs to know a few rules.

“Okay Breeze, if you’re coming along with me, I hope you know that the guards will see you as an accomplice and think you’re evil too, so you sure you wanna come with me?” I ask
“Yes, I kinda have nowhere else to go” she says sadly
“Only if you’re sure, cause there won’t be any opportunities to come into towns and chances are we’ll bump into more of the Necromancer’s minions out here. And also, we’ll need some ground rules too” I look at her seriously
“I’m sure” She says with a brave face

I can’t help but admire the way she goes through this, although it makes me wonder just how long she was down there. If the whole town was eaten and she was the last one, it must have been a while.

“Okay, first rule: What I say goes, if I tell you to run for your life, you do it! If I tell you to hide, you damn well better hide! If I tell you to go and save yourself and leave me, you will run and not look back, that clear?” I say
“Yes, Joel” she answers
“Second Rule, if you see anything that might hint a guard or those Necro-Minions, you tell me straight away. And we better be quiet during that whole duration while we’re in danger” I say

She merely nodded as her understanding of the rule

“Thirdly, If we are in danger, for the love of all that is holy, do not give us away or kill anyone unless I say we can. I might have sliced four of them in front of you but they were unarmed, if they had weapons, it would have been much harder” I say
“Okay” She says
“That’s it for rules so far, I say we go forward and in a few hours we find shelter, hmm?” I finish
“Y-Yeah, it’s a bit cold here” she says as she floats in the air
“You’re lucky you have fur Breezy, humans don’t have fur, all we have to keep warm are these clothes and these are made for summer. Although if I control my magic, I can use it as a heater” I reply with a chuckle

What I wouldn’t give for being back home at Christmas and spending it with the family, opening the presents and the food. Maybe this is how the soldiers felt during those wars, they really wanted no reason to be there during Christmas.

I hope the Pegasus I brought with me doesn’t turn out to be dead weight, but she would be the only company over the Christmas, I know because I know this shit ain’t anywhere near over…

Author's Note

Before you smartasses say that you won't like this story cause of the title well...(Cocks shotgun) DO IT!!!!

But yes, every person needs a companion after all.

Dashing through the snow, killing the dead minions!

It is Christmas time, a time for family…oh who am I kidding? We all know why you’re here on Christmas…the presents, DUH!

But when you are alone with a teenage filly you hardly know, you start to appreciate the true meaning of Christmas, well not the “Christ is born” bullcrap we got fed. The family one is much better.

But I think it’s weird how the whole nation believes a lie about their country’s founding and celebrates pretty much the same thing as Christmas.

But it is indeed 25th of December 5015, snow was everywhere we went, we were currently still in the Frozen north, just north of the Crystal Empire. As much as I consider Princess Cadence an ally, my appearance would cause nothing but trouble.

The Princesses must be having a pain, I don’t think the Necro-Minions celebrate this holiday at all and the Princesses will be ever watchful. My thoughts went to Celestia, that mare was like the early Santa Claus to me when I had to leave, she gave so much for me, and I gave a bit back to help her country. I didn’t feel like it was paying back a debt but like doing a favor for the country, they may not appreciate it, but every Necro-Minion slain was another life saved.

Icy Breeze was actually decent company, sure she had teenage problems at all that, but that’s teenagers! It didn’t feel so long ago since I was one. Turns out she learned a few moves from her parents who were fighting instructors in the guard. I think the death of her parents really hardened her out and gave her taste for revenge as she snapped that minon’s neck, I could feel the fury there.

“Hey Joel, in your time, what did you humans do for Christmas?” Breeze asks
“Well, we uh, did the same thing you ponies did. Got presents, ate some food and sang a few carols, sat next to a fire and a Christmas tree while it was snowing outside. The religious people believed this bull story of Jesus Christ being born on that day” I explained
“Who’s Jesus?” Breeze asked
“Aren’t you full of questions? Jesus was supposedly our lord and savior who died for our sins to be forgiven and then rose from the grave three days later” I say the story in a nutshell
“That doesn’t seem very believable” Icy comments
“Yeah, I think that whole thing is bullshit, in fact, wars have started over relgion itself if you’ll believe that. Humans are so uptight about this things it was probably for the best that we died out” I reflected on that fact
“How can you say that about your own race?!” Breeze asks me with a shocked look
“You haven’t seen our race Breezy, besides from those Necro-minions. Our race was shaming ourselves to death. We were glued to our technology, we were stupid idiots on that said technology and there was so much poverty and extremists and everything that sooner or later, whether it be 20 years or another 100 years, we were gonna destroy ourselves had that meteorite not come. We were literally a time bomb waiting to go off and most of us were ashamed of our generation too.” I explain
“But you still wouldn’t give up hope” She says
“I wish I would, but if you come to a point where boring celebrity lives are more important than the real important things, you’re fucked” I say
“Urgh, whatever. I wish you’d be a bit more positive” Breeze gets a little annoyed
“I’m sorry Breezy, it’s just that it’s hard when a month ago, I was back in my time living happily and safely and then I came here and now almost everyone thinks I’m some Necromancer and now I’m on the damn run, it’s hard to stay positive sometimes, Breezy” I apologize
“I know, my family is gone to those monsters, I just want to end them so badly it feels unponylike” Icy says to me
“I say it’s natural, if it were those monsters that took my family away, I’d go on a rampage so brutal that the Necromancer would need censors when he sees that” I say

I guess both she and I have lost a fair few things and now we’re on the run from the stupid Immortals and the Necro-Minions, it may have been a month but I think this is just going to be an eternal nightmare.

However, this did not have time to run through me as Breezy spotted something green heading our way.

“What is that?” She asks
“I don’t know, but I’d be defensive just in case” I say as I got a machete out

It got closer and closer until it got in the cave and it was a green flame of which objects popped out of existence. I have seen this once before, when Celestia sent Spike a letter, only he burped it. Maybe this is how the letter reaches Celestia.

“Hey, is that dragonfire mail?” Breezy asks
“I think so, I’ve seen this from Spike back in Ponyville.
“Well there’s a letter” Breezy points out

I grab the letter to read it’s contents:

Dear Joel, and Icy Breeze,

Happy Hearth’s Warming! If you’re wondering how I sent this letter, I arranged for Spike to send you this letter with a combination on my magic to guide it to you via dragonfire. Natural Dragonfire must have a link between a Dragon and another creature to be sent to. Artifical Dragonfire requires a special gem which you will find several just in case. Simply think of who you want to send it to and say their name as the gem is in the palm of your hand and it will send the object.

I do hope you are being careful Joel, especially around Icy Breeze, whose parents I knew from years back, some of the finest fighting ponies I’ve seen in centuries, I may have had a hoof in their union. It was more of nudging her father out the front door, it’s funny though, I distinctly remember giving that talk to Shining Armor when I found out he loved my niece.

I contacted my student and her friends who wish you a happy Hearth’s Warming or as you remember it: Christmas. Pinkie Pie sent some cupcakes and hopes she’ll be able to have a welcome back party.

But I think you will like the present I bestow upon you and Icy Breeze (See note on the presents)

Princess Luna wishes to express condolences to Icy Breeze’s parents, she had met them once and said that such ponies with such skill earned her respect.

Please, be careful and stay out of trouble!

Princess Celestia

I found Pinkie’s famous Sugercube Corner cupcakes and some chocolate fudge too in a packet, Applejack had sent Apple Pie over, Fluttershy had send medical supplies (Believe it or not, in Flight School, Fluttershy was a really good medic, who knew?), Twilight had sent an Atlas of the world in form of a book (Of course she did!). Rarity had sent some new clothes over and even a pair of winter clothes, Rainbow Dash had sent a book on Pegasi battle tactics.

I should explain, according to Pegasus tradition, Flight school not only teaches you how to fly but as Pegasus are a warrior race, tradition teaches Pegasi battle techniques in case a war were to ever happen, down to medics, soldiers, evasive maneuvers and the like.

Luna had sent a telescope for looking at the stars or for spying on enemies with it at the flick of a knob.

Celestia had sent me a Excalibur sized sword and Icy Breeze some wingblades. (Wingblades are blades designed to fit the Pegasus wings at can attack with them. They are very light weight but very sharp and durable thanks to enchantments so there is very little cost to the Pegasus’ flying performance). This sword looked…AWESOME! At the pommel, Celestia’s mark was in gemstone, and the blade was so shiny I am almost afraid to kill someone with it so it dirtied it. The grip felt like it attached to me, like it had a link with me.

The Wingblades were obviously for Icy Breeze, they were silvery and fitted into her wings, the drawback was that they made a bit more sound with the blades on than without, so being stealthy is gonna be a bit hard flying.

“These gifts are amazing! I never thought the Princess would be so kind and generous” Icy said in awe
“Yeah, she’s quite a woman alright. I feel guilty that we had nothing to give” I say in admiration for the Princess.

Celestia has a generous soul after my heart, she helps me escape and now she sends all of this, one might think I have some royal stalker from afar.

“Shh! You hear that?” Breezy says suddenly

I close my mouth and open my ears and through the rushing winds I start to hear voices, and they aren’t the merry voices of Christmas.

“I hear them, stay down but be ready” I mutter to Breezy.

She nods as she lies down in a pony fashion that’s staying down but ready to spring up if need be, I drew my bow and arrows in case they came in here.

“I hate this cold! Couldn’t the boss of sent us to that Appleloosa place where it’s warm?” a voice complained
“Be quiet, grunt! I’d rather not hear those pesky guards here us because of your incessant complaining!” A superior said to the grunt
“Or worse that Joel creature the bossman warned us about” Another voice close-by muttered
“Word is he’s got some Pegasus teenager with him now, probably raising it to fight us too” the first grunt says
“All the more reason for you to shut it!” The Superior officer snaps at the two
“Hey, what about that cave? It’d be a perfect spot to camp out away from this snow” a fourth says

Son of a bitch! They’re coming this way! They are going to find us. I motioned to Breezy that there is four enemies at least and to wait until they pop up.

“Then you two! Check that cave, and then you and I will check around, move!” the superior says
“Yes, Sir!” the other three say

Now one advantage this cave had was that is was cornered and had cover around a corner. I motioned Breezy to quickly hover up and hang on the ceiling and then I’ll slice one.

I got out my knife that I got from the dead marine, and waited. Their smell was just awful!

“You first” One says
“Do I have to?” the other asks
“Yes! Now do it!” the first one says

The first one comes around as I force him to me and covered his beak and slit his throat and gently lowered him. The next one came around and briefly saw me but it was too late as Breezy attacked from above and got him right in chest.

“Pretty good, Breezy! He never saw that one coming” I whispered to Breezy
“Thanks” She whispered

The next two were just pathetically easy to kill, especially the superior who squealed like a pig once he felt my hand on his shoulder turning him around to stab him in the throat. You know what they say, the weakest dogs bark the loudest. Or in this guy’s case, squealing.

“I think we might want to get out of here” Breezy says
“That is true, once someone discovers these guys are missing they’ll trace it here by which time we should be long gone” I say
“Yeah” she agrees
“It seems like you’ve got talent and determination” I say to her
“Thanks but not sure about the determined part” She shuffles her hooves
“Hey! You are determined, I can see it in your eyes are you try to survive, it’s in my eyes too. Nothing beats a smart and determined mind, just look at Twilight Sparkle” I say
“You’re right I suppose, let’s get out of here” she says

We proceed to leave the area with all our gear, including the new gear as we head out into the snowy fields of the frozen north and hopefully somewhere near civilization…

Author's Note

Yeah Yeah yeah! It's March and i'm writing a Christmas chapter, sue me! And besides, when did giving a care package to our protagonists have to be on Christmas in real-time?

I used to do Skyrim references like you, then i took a sleeping arrow to the arm

It was the day after Christmas for Breezy and I, it wasn’t a blizzard out here but still plenty of snow, we caught ourselves in a few snowball fights as we went through.

I did a few high jumps with my magic to confuse any followers as to where we were going with the snow trail, unfortunately my magic didn’t come with making the snow as though I was never here spell.

But beside those couple of Necro-minions yesterday, nothing else showed up. Whether they have been discovered dead is something I don’t know but by the time they would have found out, the trail would have been cold…er…less recent…whatever!

The fact remains that the sense of Necro-enemies being near is getting higher with each passing second.

“See anything?” I hear a voice somewhere around the rocks we were at
“Nothing” Said another
“Shit” I mutter

I motion to Icy to keep quiet and low, these voices didn’t sound so evil. My conclusion is that they were guards.

I peered around the corner, I was right! These guards had a heart emblem on their uniforms and some were crystally and some weren’t. These were clearly Princess Cadence’s guards.

I’ve never met Princess Cadence personally but I do hear she’s the Princess of Love and married to Twilight Sparkle’s brother: Shining Armor. From what Celestia says, she was also very near the meteorite when it landed so she got the Alicorn form as well and the Sisters were friends with Cadence so they basically “Adopted” her as a younger niece.

But back to the guards, a whole meet up was happening, about 20 guards were around and there were too many to take and I don’t want to kill them if there is any other choice.

We stood up on the rocks quietly and saw what was happening.

“All teams, report!” the leader says
“No sign sir!” All of the teams said
“Be on the lookout still, the Princesses want Joel alive and that Pegasus rumored to be with him” the leader says
“Why would a Pegasus be with him?” somepony asked
“Well, scouts have spotted the pair wandering around here and it was confirmed Joel and he had a Pegasus with him, perhaps he has brainwashed her, but the Princesses want them alive and that’s all you need to know!” the leader explains

I thought something felt odd, it must have been them. I turned around to find 2 of them right behind us!

“Shit” I muttered
“You’re under arrest” one of them says, pointing at me.

I see Icy terrified that they snuck up on us, how could I have been so careless? Nevertheless, I wasn’t going down without a fight! So I used my magic to force them away.

“CONTACT!” One of them yells
“Run!” I say to Icy

She didn’t need telling twice, we ran straight as far away as possible! We couldn’t stick around especially with arrows flying our way and I don ‘t like the blue light they are giving off.

But after 5 minutes one of them hit Icy, I ran to get her and run but one hit me in the arm and……..

Author's Note

Yes, the Ultimate weapon against lengthy fanfiction chapters, Sleepy arrows! DUN DUN DUUUUUUN!

Ponies are really damn short-sighted, there didn't even need to be a Prison Break plan.

Urghhh…owowowowoowow! Damn it that hurts! What happened? I open my eyes and I see bars…shit! I’m in jail! I guess I didn’t pass go! NO! BAD JOEL! This is no time for jokes! Those damned guards must have some stun bow or something.

All of my stuff is gone and there is no Icy Breeze. What have they done with her? If they have harmed her, I will smite each and every guard in my way and damn the consequences!

“Ah, you’re awake” I hear a female voice

I swear, do people get off on watching people sleep? I look to see a Pink Alicorn I assume is Princess Cadence

“Your majesty” I bow a bit out of a little respect
“We meet at last, Joel. Aunt Celestia has told me so much about you” Cadence says
“Where is Icy Breeze?” I ask impatiently
“Somewhere else in the castle, but you need not worry, you and her won’t be seeing each other again” Cadence says
“Then I do fucking worry!” I growled at her
“Joel! You will listen! Sooner or later, the other Immortals will find out you have been captured and they will execute you! I would worry about myself if I were you!” Cadence raises her voice
“Then why delay? Why not just kill me now and save me the misery of being in your half-star rated dungeon for the rest of my life then?” I ask
“Do you think that we do not have plans? We will hide you until you are proven innocent but until then, you will remain down here” Cadence says

She then leaves in which I put the finger behind her as she was leaving. Twilight says she was a nice pony, to her maybe, to the Princesses and relatives yes. But me, nope! Why is it that when some women marry, they turn into such bitches?! Seriously she sounded like she had a stick up her ass! Maybe it’s this stupid Necromancer!

A day passed and I was beyond bored, a concern with Icy was still there. I got to get the fuck out of here. I will not spend the rest of eternity in this cell!

They were slightly smart, the ponies were a bit. They put Magic-cancellers and they made put a lot of guards out of the door. But a few hours later, I discovered one massive oversight. Human Magic and Pony magic have different working and these cancellers are designed to be for ponies. It still restricted a bit of magic but I had enough to burn through. The Ponies were really short-sighted.

So when the guards went away, I used my magic out of my hands as a blowtorch and hit the bars top and bottom and knocked them out of their place.

I had a quick look around but no Icy was present in this room or was my gear. I will have to at least settle for my sword.

I hear footsteps and I quickly run to cover, I only hear one and I’ll have to take him down. You’d think these prison designed would at least not put these things in but oh well, their stupidity is my savior.

The guard comes down and I wrap my arm around his neck and a hand directly on his mouth so he wouldn’t talk. It took a slight bit of struggling but he got knocked out cold.

I proceeded up the stairs as quickly and quietly as possible. I did not have time for a plan but rest assured, I will get Icy out and myself out even if I must break every bone in my damned body.

If Cadence thinks I will stay prisoner to her to keep me alive, she’s sorely mistaken! I’d rather be dead than a prisoner of eternity and I’d rather be free at risk of death than dead itself.

At the top of the stairs was just one guard that I took out by shoving his head straight in the wall with extreme prejudice. A Crossbow was hanging on the wall, I took it despite the firing being more pony-like, a human can still fire it. I had 6 arrows to fire and I must make each one count if I am to shoot them.

More steps came until I hit another floor of prison cells, no Icy was around, where is she! If one bit of her mane has been hurt, there will be hell to pay and then some more!

I finally exited the dungeon area and went into the castle area of the Crystal Empire (where else would I be with Cadence around?), I ran up the first stairs and 2 guards saw me.

I shot one in the neck and then pinned down the Crystal mare guard, I want her alive for information. The first one had to die, there was no choice in the matter.

“Where is Icy Breeze?” I ask as I sat on her stomach and had my hands to her throat
“I-I won’t tell!” She gasps for air
“You can tell me now and spare me the trouble of killing every guard until I get what I want or you can save yourself” I gave her a choice
“Buck…you!” she says as she spits in my face

I punch her right in the face and then flip her onto her stomach and started pulling her wings. (Pulling wings is very painful for a Pegasus, in the olden days, pulling the wings to stretch them was a very big torture. Cutting them was a severe punishment for big-time offenders, compare to Cutting off a unicorn horn)

“AHHHHHHH!” She squirmed
“Quit your fucking squirming! Embarassment for a guard! Now tell me and the pain stops!” I shout at her
“Top floor! Top Floor! In the tallest tower!” She says
“Thank you kind mare, was that so hard?” I say to her, still holding her wings but no longer pulling them
“Please let me go” She whimpers
“I might have done that had you not of spat in my face and tried to kill me and deny me information. But don’t worry, if I see Cadence again, I’ll tell her you did your duty admirably.” I say
“Don’t!” She looks wide-eyed

I considered killing her in some form of rage, but the better part of me held me back and knocked her out with a swift punch to the face. I then put her in a nearby cabinet. When she wakes up, I’ll be long gone.

I am not a cruel man, I was almost cruel, I could of murdered someone on my side…technically. I resolved to not harm ponies or friendlies, I had to pin her down to interrogate but pulling her wings might have been too far, killing her would have been downright ruthless. It scared me a little how close I was to killing the mare.

She had a motherly look too, I can’t do that. No good parent should be separated from their child by force, especially since the filly I’m rescuing has been separated from hers.

I had hurried along the corridors at speeds of a man late for his wedding, the guards realized just who I was after I passed them but that tower…has SO MANY FUCKING STAIRS! DOES NOBODY KNOW WHAT AN ELEVATOR IS? DAMMIT CELESTIA! HOW AM I MEANT TO LOVE YOU WHEN YOU DO THIS STUPID CRAP?!

Wait…what?

Never mind! Less Celestia thoughts more Saving Icy Breeze thoughts! You can have Celestia thoughts when you have saved Icy Breeze and on the other side of Equestria.

But a door up from the top of the tower, two guards were there with what looked like my stuff, but something was off about them, they gave off a black smoke to them…

“Kill him!” One of them orders

I shot an arrow in the guard and then dodged and shot the other one in the mouth. As they hit the ground, the skin decayed super-quick and they looked like necro-minions with a new shell that just broke.

If that’s the case, I am afraid what I may find behind the doors as I grab my weapons and my bag (Does nobody separate these things? Like ever? Even the Necro-Minions are short-sighted)

I take a deep breath and turn the handle…

Author's Note

Writer's Block, we meet again. When I left you, I was the learner but now I am the master!

The Epic Showdown with a rather weak imposter...are these guys even taking this seriously?

I turned the handle of the door, fear was climbing to what I might find behind it, those two guards from before were Necro-minions in disguise. I know the mare I had knocked out was not one of them, those guys had a black smoke radiating off them.

I came into the room to see a cage with a knocked out Icy Breeze and Princess Cadence. Only…Cadence had the black smoke…this wasn’t Cadence at all! Did they get her? Or is this some sort of possession? Whatever it is, there is real danger here!

“Who are you? And what have you done with Princess Cadence?” I ask the cliche question
“Oh she’s right here, I am just have access to the controls now” Cadence’s voice was very darkened as she spoke.
“Still not answering the “Who are you?” question” I say to “Cadence”
“As much as I would like to answer that, I do not have a name, my master never gave me a name, only a mission.” She says
“Well, all I want is Icy Breeze and I out of the Crystal Empire” I say
“I’m afraid I can’t do that Joel, you see you and your little Pegasus friend have been causing so much trouble for us that the Necromancer has noticed you. Even if you escape me, they will be hunting for you and sooner or later, you WILL be found!” The abomination answers
“Like that’ll scare me, you’ll have to do more than that, and honestly, your mission of taking over Cadence won’t be in motion for long, Celestia’ll be on her way here!” I shot back
“How? How can she know about this?”” it asks
“Emergency Dragonfire, turns out these things have hidden emergency powers to go straight to someone who can help. And even if it didn’t, I’m sure some sort of Alicorn connection would tell that Cadence is in trouble, plus this isn't the first time something like this has happened” I explain
“Very clever, but will you be around when Princess Celestia arrives? I’ll be sure to make it that you do not!” “Cadence” says

The possessed Cadence lit up her horn as I drew my sword, she shot a beam at me which my sword instantly absorbed, I did not know it could do that! That’s kind of awesome.

“Grrr, what is this magic?” “Cadence” asks
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” I say with a cocky grin.

The sword was glowing and then it shot back the beam directly at “Cadence” and knocked her straight into a wall, making a huge dent in it.

“Not bad, but you’ll need to be better” “Cadence” says as she gets back up.
“Sounds like you’re in loser denial” I say to her approaching figure.

“Cadence” summoned a sword of her own to be held in her magic and went for a strike that I blocked quickly. Alicorns had very fast speed and strength on their side so I couldn’t attack unless some sort of stupid move happens. For the moment, I must be on the defensive.

After 3 minutes of defensive, a loud boom came and I saw dark ships approaching the empire.

“Eh heh heh heh heh! The ships have arrived, the Crystal Empire will fall, and once Equestria falls, the rest will be easy!” “Cadence” laughs
“Not if I have anything to say about it! You can send as many ships as you like to help you, but you are not leaving this Empire alive!” I say to the imposter
“Even if I die, my task will be complete. The Necromancer will be victorious and all the Immortals wiped from this Earth!” “Cadence” cackles
“Oh go to hell! And tell the damned Necromancer that his head will be a plate soon enough before you go” I say

I used my magic to push “Cadence” off the balcony and landed a floor below in which I quickly opened Icy’s Cell and jumped after her.

“Not bad at all Joel, but if you think you can defeat my master with those skills, you will die before you reach him” “Cadence” mocks
“Oh my god! Do you ever stop talking?! All you do is talk!” I ask her

I swung my sword and hit her back left leg slightly, making a clean cut in her fur, she roared and then made a lunge which I dodged only just. But she quickly let go of her sword and sprung her wings straight into me through the window.

I struggled against her as she tried a bite.

“Get your teeth away from me!” I say as I punch her in the face

I pushed her away as we were about to hit ground level and I quickly used hover to land safely. “Cadence” flapped her wings in time to land smoothly as well.

“You are not bad, human! You would be great under my master’s guidance. But you have annoyed me so that won’t be an option anymore” “Cadence” says
“I didn’t want to join anyway, we don’t see eye to eye, if you get me” I reply
“Oh I get you, you heroic types would never join us anyway.” “Cadence” answers
“I’m not a hero, I’m just a guy caught in the storm of things and because of your master’s plans, everybody’s forces have it in for me” I say

Around me, forces were fighting around the Empire, but two ponies landed before us in a blink of an eye: Princess Cadence (The real one!) and Shining Armor.

“We meet at last, Princess of Love” I bow towards her.
“Indeed we do” Cadence nods
“Foolish imposter, did you not think we weren’t prepared for you after we were infiltrated by the Changelings some time ago?” Shining talks to “Cadence”
“What?” “Cadence” looked around

It was true, the Empire’s forces had a much upper hand…hoof, despite being ambushed suddenly by Necro-forces. Princess Cadence was clearly not a pushover as the Necromancer may of believed.

“I would give up if I were you, you are surrounded by the Princess of Love, the Prince of the Crystal Empire and myself” I said to the imposter.
“And me!” Icy popped in
“Icy, you’re alright!” I smile to see my dear friends up and at em!
“NEVER!” “Cadence” shouted

But Princess Cadence and Shining Armor would not have any of it, they conjured a spell powered by love to smite the evil imposter into nothingness.

They turned to me, my battle was done with the abomination but the fight was still raging on between soldiers of both sides.

“I am Shining Armor, Twilight’s brother and this is my wife, Princess Cadence: Princess of Love” Shining introduced themselves
“A pleasure, your majesties” Icy bowed in respect
“You need not bow, human and pony, you have helped the Crystal Empire a fair share today” Cadence says
“That monster, weaker than me he just was, but he will not be the last, and they will be much more powerful than that” I advise
“That is noted, Joel. Auntie has told me all she could about these Necro-monsters and all about you, but I suggest we move somewhere more private for now” Cadence replies
“What about other proceedings, sweetie?” Shining asked
“Yes…I’ll need you to deal with them while I talk with Joel and Icy, if you see Auntie Celestia arrive, tell them I’ll be in my quarters” Cadence says
“Very well” Shining agrees
“Come along you two, let us go somewhere where we may not be disturbed or seen” Cadence beckons.

Personally, I’d rather go away to the next location but I suppose a conversation with Cadence will do fine…

Author's Note

What? An update by me? Did you think I was dead? Well we were given a one-up mushroom and back from the dead! No Necromancer stuff involved.

Leaving Equestria to get the heat off...even though here is quite cold.

“That’s all that has happened since you escaped?”
“Yes” I answer

When I had come up with Icy Breeze to talk to Cadence, I had told her of our misadventures up to this point.

“Hmmm, Auntie Celestia would certainly recognize your bravery” Cadence commended
“Thank you” I say
“What about the Necromancer, he may attack here again and who knows where he is” Breezy pointed out
“His minions here were most short-sighted, he either has something cunning planned or he underestimated us and will send better minions later. That’s what Auntie Celestia would say, and my husband” Cadence theorized

Of course this wouldn't be the Necromancer's A-game, if that was than he'd be running not attacking, but I do have some other concerns.

“I am not a war expert but I’d figure around those lines, what about the other kingdoms?” I ask
“Chrysalis, as much as I despise her, has had her successor killed by the Necromancer’s minions. The Zebras are fine for now. The Griffons have downright slaughtered in parts and others barely holding. Others countries have mixed outcomes. Here, we are holding here but towns are getting slaughtered and we are moving everybody out to Canterlot” Cadence reports
“Damn, I guess we got to find the Necromancer” I cursed
“I would not try challenge he or she upfront so quickly, not even Celestia could defeat him alone judging with all the power he must use to focus his armies and magic at the same time. The Necromancer must be an Alicorn-strengthed opponent or similar at bare minimum and that is assuming we are lucky enough that the bare minimum is his/her maximum strength” Cadence warned

She’s right, I have powers but they wouldn’t do jack to somebody like the Necromancer, there's no way this was his A-game.

“But we can’t just do nothing, Joel” Breeze says to me
“After what I’ve seen, walking around and surviving just isn’t going to solve anything, this is something that will not be resolved faster by us standing there. I think we must go find something to help Equestria” I say
“I cannot stop you two, but we all wish you the best of luck” Cadence admits with a sigh

There was one more thing bothering me…

“Princess Cadence? One more question, that imposter was like you but surely I was not that strong to take on an Alicorn like that thing was meant to be?” I asked
“No, it may have looked like me but by no means was it at my strength, it was a stronger soldier, perhaps a low-ranking officer but nowhere near Alicorn level hence my defeating it quickly, you did well to weaken it but there are no doubts the next monster the Necromancer sends will be a lot more powerful, should you bump into one of them, I only hope you have increased your power as well to match it” Cadence explains
“Thank you for the help by the way” Breeze says
“I should be thanking you two, had it not been for you two’s distraction, I might not have found the imposter in time” Cadence says

The soldiers outside had appeared to have cleaned up the remaining of the Necro-minions and the ones that weren’t slain were retreating off.

“Now, it is time for you to leave…with a little help of course since you are still marked as the Necromancer” Cadence says
“What are you gonna do?” I ask
"What about Princess Celestia? Isn't she coming here?" Breeze asks
“Teleport you to a random spot, not even I know where in Equestria it will be but rest assured it will not be a solid object otherwise the spell cancels. This is to avoid if anypony ever captured me and looked at my last spells. Auntie will have to miss out seeing you but I will tell her you say hi” Cadence explains
“Good idea” I say
“Well it’s a pleasure meeting you, Joel. Be careful, and I’ll definitely be sure to tell Auntie Celestia and Luna you say hello” Cadence says
“And the elements” I added
“And the elements” she added to the hello list

Princess Cadence charged her spell and a white light surrounded both of us and POP!

“My lord, the attack on Crystal Empire has failed” a Necro-Minion reported
“That’s a disappointment, perhaps the last two attacks on her had not shown Princess Cadence as weak as we thought she was” the Necromancer sighed
“Also reports the Human by the name of Joel and the mare helped slain the imposter you sent” the Necro-minion also reported
“Joel? He is becoming a pain in my damned ass!” The Necromancer felt a bit of anger at the mention of his name.

Joel…that name has come up a bit, the human. He’s slain the patrols a couple of camps and must be looking for the Necromancer, it makes sense. But such a little thorn can cause such a huge pain. It was time he focused a bit more effort to eliminate him.

“Commander, I want you to officially up the bounty of Joel and his girl, dead or alive. Even the worms of their society cannot resist a bounty, there are creatures in their society who do not care about sides and money, I will use that to an exploitable advantage. Now make it so!” the Necromancer ordered.
“Yes, my lord” the commander did a salute and left

Joel, just a small thorn but coming a huge pain, not for long and if Joel lives, The Necromancer may just have to take care of Joel himself. Secretly, he hoped that was the case.

I have no idea where we are, Cadence did teleport us somewhere random, we’re out of snow so I’d say we are away from the cold in fact it feels a bit savannah-ish in here, kind of looks like Africa.

“This doesn’t look Equestrian at all” Breeze says
“How do you know?” I ask her
“Well, Equestria doesn’t have savannah kind of places, the only place that does is Zebrica” Breezy says
“I guess Cadence teleported us a continent, pretty neat, at least we don’t suffer crappy airline food and squishy space” I joked with a laugh
“I don’t get it” Breeze looks confused
“It’s a my time thing” I explain
“Oh, so we should find a cave or something?” Breeze suggested
“Sounds like a plan, maybe we should find a nearby town tomorrow and find precisely where we are and maybe what the Necromancer’s minions are doing around here” I say
“Yeah” Breeze nodded

So…Zebrica it is, we’ll stick out like sore thumbs along anyone basically but at least the weather is warmer, for now, let's go find somewhere to rest for now...

Author's Note

The fic is dying! Quick! Inject it with chapter update, STAT! I've had this chapter finished for like 2-3 months now? Better get some more work on this fiction then.

New Continent, Same Problems

Icy Breeze and I had found another nearby cave to rest in for the night, when the morning came, I was so used to the Empire’s cold that I woke up thinking we may have been put on top of a fire then I realized I was in a Savannah environment of Zebrica.

“M-Morning, Joel” Breezy yawns
“Morning, another night we’ve survived it seems” I say to her
“Yeah, yesterday was intense, wasn’t it?” Breezy reminds me of yesterday.
“I am surprised we are alive, that said we shouldn’t go back to Equestria until the heat dies down, we’ve made too much impact and almost paid for it and took down a low-ranking officer in the process. I wouldn’t be surprised if the Necromancer has noticed our resistance” I advise my partner
“My father would say the same thing in his experience, we should lay low for now” Icy replies to my advisement
“Well we aren’t gonna be advertising that we moved to Zebrica, although I’d like to find a map and find whereabouts we are, I don’t like having to move around here without knowing where the hell we are” I decide our first move

I keep a lookout in all directions of the plain Savannah, nothing seems to be here that anybody would hide in, but I don’t know this land. I know the Zebras live here (Well duh!), and they are wise and have their own branch of unique magic and potion making. I wouldn’t want to underestimate them.

Then there’s the Necrominions, they have been invading all the countries of Equus, which means they will be around somewhere and if the fate of all our cities is the same in the once-Africa, than there will no doubt be cities where they would hide.

“Joel! Zebra soldiers 3 o’clock!” Icy says

I look to my right and I saw Zebras heading not quite our way but pretty close to us, we can’t let them spot us so soon.

“Shit, hide behind the rock, no sound, let them pass” I mutter to her.
“I know” Icy says as she rolls her eyes but does so anyway.

The Zebra soldiers were a squad of about twenty marching in formation and 3 rows wide, I guess there’s still that march in each other’s footsteps hides your numbers to followers tactic.

They passed by and headed to our 9 o’clock and they didn’t seem to spot us but I had my sword ready in case we were spotted and I saw Icy Breeze had the same thing going on with her wingblades. Thankfully they didn’t turn around.

“Phew, that was close” Icy says
“Yeah, I wonder where they were headed?” I asked

I suddenly had an idea, wherever they came from had to be battle or a city and wherever they are heading is one of those two things, so if we followed them without being detected then we’d stumble upon what the Necro-Minions are like here or find where we are. If we went the other way we can’t be sure they didn’t turn at some point this direction.

“You thinking what I am thinking?” I ask
“Uh, I don’t know, not really” Breeze says with a shrug
“We gotta follow those Zebras, wherever they are going has to be somewhere we can find where we are in Zebrica, it’s our best shot other than going around aimlessly” I explain my idea
“Well, hopefully we don’t get caught” Breeze says hesitantly
“Hey, we’ve been risky this whole time ever since I got a target over my head, and we are not getting into trouble again, we’ll just keep them at a far distance and hopefully we find where we are, okay?” I say
“Okay, right behind you then” Breeze agrees

Hopefully on the way they pass by some water, our water supply is starting to go down. We start to go at a jogging pace with no super speed and at a good distance away.

So we started following them without a change for the better part of 30 minutes, there were a few trees along the way in this warmer climate.

“Argh, where are they going?” I mutter to myself

Another 20 minutes and there wasn’t a clear sign of where they were going, either where they were was far away or it was closer the other way from where they went.

“Come on, your destination has to be near now, where is it?” I frustratingly mutter again.

Finally we say a city of black ruins, not the stone ruins too much like you’d expect but just a wooden area all ruined but there was a definite evil there and it had to be a ground base that’s been taken over, not to mention the base the middle of these ruins.

“There must be Necro-minions in there” Breeze says to me
“I guess these Zebras must have some information on this base to come here, but it’s such a small task force so I guess these guys must be good soldiers no doubt” I say

We decided to risk it and go closer, we see one Zebra who must be the leader going up to give a pep talk in Equestrian English.

“Alright soldiers, these Necro-Minions have terriorized our country of Zebrica for too long! So it’s time we started wiping them out for good and driving them out of our base, one base at a time! The information from our glorious leader shows this is a communications base of medium importance, if we take this one out then we can advance onto major communication bases and drive these beats out of our country!” The leader says

The soldiers were definitely agreeing but did not shout this due to their needing to be more hidden.

“Alright, remember, Zebrica is counting on us to do this task, when we succeed and only then, will we strike their major bases…” The leader went on

So we’ve stumbled upon an important base that they must take, good thing we followed them, I guess we could keep an eye on the operation or sneak in the back door to ensure their success and they’ll sure to have a Zebrican map in their base and we could steal one before they Zebricans reach it but we would not be detected by them and hopefully the Necro-minions themselves.

“Alright, we’re sneaking in the back” I mutter to Breeze

Breeze nodded, there wasn’t time for arguing or debating, it was clear this mission is important and if it helps Zebrica it will help Equestria and therefore Celestia in the long run.

“…Everyzebra clear on their goal?” the leader asks
“Yes Sir!” The soldiers said quietly with a salute

The soldiers went down the front but I directed Icy Breeze to flank the left side until we were out of earshot but on the lookout for the Necro-minions

“Joel! What are you thinking? We’ve just escaped a capture and we’re doing this now?” Breeze brings up her protests
“And as you heard if they take this base then they can move on to freeing their country from this threat and they can help Equestria, there isn’t a choice in this matter” I say to her
“But we need to lay low” Breeze argues
“I was hoping for that too but fate has other plans it seems. Once we help these guys then we will stay under the radar a bit unless it’s absolutely necessary to go out in the open” I say with a nod

I was rather hoping to stay somewhere but as of right now the priority is the Zebra’s mission and then we find where we are and then lay low. But once any fix on our location is sure to be gone we start striking the Ncromancer’s bases in Zebrica and then we might move on somewhere else once the heat is too high on our location.

The base itself had a fair amount of Necro-Soldiers, the usual mix but with more Zebras, perhaps some of these soldiers were recently deceased and thrown under the control of the Necromancer, I hope that is not the case.

Our Zebra “friends” were advancing on the right and sneakily taking care as many of the minions as possible without detection. We were doing the same on the left with only any that weren’t needed alive to maintain our stealth.

Within about 10 minutes we were at the next house to the command center, which was no more than two stories tall.

“Hey, Breeze. Reckon you could scout from that balcony and see if anything is in there and numbers of the enemy?” I ask
“Yeah, sure” She nods
“Just be careful, okay?” I say to her
“Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine” Breeze says as she flies up

I checked around to see nothing looking our way as Breeze went up the back to peer through the balcony and immediately pulled her head back and flew back down.

“What’s up?” I ask her
“There’s a General here, he’s talking with whoever’s in charge of this place, couldn’t hear words” Breeze says in a wide-eyed look

Shit…if that Cadence imposter was no more than a Lieutenant, than a General has to be pretty damned powerful…it makes sense. I don’t think we’re ready to take on a General yet.

One: We’re not experienced enough
Two: My magic hasn’t fully developed yet
Three: The Zebras are doomed if they are found out
Four: The Chances of winning are outweighed by the chances of defeat

In other words, we can’t be spotted or we are fucked!

“Okay, that’s a big problem, we’ll have to sit here for a bit because if we try moving back or anywhere near the Zebras we’ll be busted” I say
“What about the General? Shouldn’t we at least try to take him?” Breeze asks
“No, we’re not experienced enough and you know it, if we fight him, the Zebras will rush in and get themselves killed, let’s just wait a good bit before thinking up a plan” I say

We didn’t have to wait long we heard the balcony doors open and a sudden vibration of a powerful takeoff was felt as we saw a Zebra with Wings fly off, not just any Zebra, a Necro-Zebra that looked like it’d knock you out in a single blow, he even moved at a pace that left a black trail behind.

This dude is powerful, I can already tell, I must make a note to warn Celestia about this guy as who knows where he’s heading back to. Perhaps Celestia could somehow warn the Zebra leader of this General?

But thank the whatever the Zebras here believe in because his departure saved our lives and theirs, I felt his power in the flight, it’s way above mine. But a Zebra with wings? Is that even possible? I thought Zebras were literally a one-kind species, no Pegasi or Unicorn like types.

Well, I guess we better strike now before the General realizes he forgot his car keys or something…I mean he probably didn’t but you never know.

“Joel, we’re gonna have to barge in there you know that, right?” Breeze asks me.
“Yes, unfortunately, how many did you see along with the general?” I ask
“At least five of them but the right of the room was blocked so I’d say at least 10 estimating” Breeze reports
“Okay, well…here goes nothing” I say

I use my magic out of my hands to propel me up to the balcony while Breeze just flew up and we kicked the glass door down giving us the element of surprise as we killed at least four of them in ten seconds, there were another three, one was escaping to the door but I threw my sword at him and hit the door next to him. Breeze charged the other two while I dodged a claw strike from the escaping griffon and hit her in the throat before grabbing my sword and put the blade through her heart.

All of the top floor were dead, surprisingly nobody heard the battle here.

“Hey Joel, found us a map!” Breeze says as she rips us of a map.

ICY BREEZE FOUND A MAP! Now you can find your way around Zebrica through the mini-map the reader can't see, don't worry, the plot will guide you!

I had a look and it showed and X for where we were. We are somewhere in the south of Zebrica, which looked like the south part of Africa has broken off the right and joined the left part of Africa.

In fact, we were about 100km from the south shore of Zebrica which means we shout head north.

“This is great, we should head north” I say with glee
“There’s a town 40km north-east called Zecron” Breeze says
“Well I guess we’ve overstayed our welcome here, let’s get out of here” I say to Brreeze

BANG!

“Zeca Marde no pueots, Zebra carde!” I heard a dark sounding voice from behind the door

(To the readers, this translates to Come out Zebra Scum! Of course more was said but the full translation of Zebraican to Equestrian/American English is still patchy at best. The Necro-Minion thinks Joel and Icy Breeze as Zebra soldiers and orders them to come out, that's all you need to know.)

“Damn, so much for stealthy exit” I say

More footstep came up on the other side of the door and the alarm came…well…shit…

Author's Note

A wise man once said, when the heat gets too much, lie low for a while. Nobody ever listens to that guy, some who not heed that advice end up dead.

But yes, an update! And the Zebra words were made up I know, but who said they had to speak an African Language? Also, Equestrian English is the universal language in Equus here, so naturally most beings will know it.

Leaving the City Behind

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Wha--? YAAAAAWWWWWWWWN…what time is it?

I open my eyes and I see a transparent door above me…wait what?! How the hell did I end up here? Did I get run over by a car or something? Nah, that can’t be right! Whatever, I’m getting out of this place, pronto!

Grr…OPEN UP YOU STUPID DOOR!

SMASH!

Finally! Stupid technology being so advanced it comes an inconvenience!

Okay, first thing that is bugging me right now is that this place is DUSTY! I can seriously imagine some high society-like royal type coming here and being absolutely disgusted…or mums, Mums will fuss over this stuff even if one atom of this dust is present.

Second, the only light source is from this capsule looking thing I got out of. Next to it was some paper, it was some sort of note as I picked up and read…

Dear Joel,

Your name is Joel right? If not, I really don’t care cause I’ll be dead anyway by the time you read this.

See, I have finally gotten the means to cryogenics and able to freeze a human for long periods of time. Now, I know you didn’t agree to this and nor did anyone else. Why? Because all you sentimental fools care about if given an opportunity like this is “What about my family?” or “But I don’t wanna”!

So I just found a random human in his sleep that so happened to be you Joel. So I hope you have fun in the future with all the hover cars and such, maybe pick an alien chick or something. Hey! I reckon you could do it, guy like you should have no problem.

So anyway, I have set the time for 3000 years in the future, have fun now!

Dr. Sadistic Bastard

(You thought you’d get my real name didn’t you? HA! NICE TRY!)

Am I being fucked with? 3000 years? Oh there better be hover cars and that or else I’m mad! And what sadistic bastard does that anyway? Why can’t he just go himself?

Well at least I can see a door in this light, I hasten to open it and get a faceful of dust…urgh! Do all 3000-year-old doors do this? Where’s a protection mask of some kind when you need it?

So I exit the room to find myself completely outside hoping for a glorious future aannnnnnnnddddd…it’s a desolated abandoned city…FUCK!

Not only that, it seems the town is underground for some reason…okay what the ballsacks happened here? Half of me is hoping for a Zombie Apocalypse (Just as long as there not too many bandits and no clickers…those things scare me!), and the other half is wondering how I get out.

So, let’s see there’s a hole in the roof over by that skyscraper about 500 meters away, as much as old ruins would fascinate someone, it doesn’t to me and maybe the future stuff is up there? God, I hope so!

500 meters later…

Phew…I need to get out more…no more Ravioli for a while. If there even is any left…imagine that, life without Ravioli, cakes or pies. I’d think I would go mad.

But the 500 meters I went, all around were rusted cars, houses and everything. Not to mention the maddening quiet down here.

I enter the skyscraper, it’s just as dusty and ruined as everywhere else, not to mention when you see a road full of rusted cars and such.

“Hellooooo? Anybody Home? Last human hoping to not actually be the last one here!” I called out

No answer…just great! The fact this building has no lights on is creeping me, perfect place for some weird zombie thing to come out of nowhere.

And the elevator is out too! This is god punishing me for not getting out isn’t it? So we take the old fashioned stairs.

About 60 steps later…

I…FREAKING….HATE STAIRS! Why are there so many stairs? Stupid future, it’s always the fucked up future! Can’t it be the nice hover car future that everyone wants for once?

I would find that guy that did that but he’s dead now so the whole thing is pointless…and huff…huff…

I enter a room and I find skeletons just lying on the ground and on chairs and everywhere, what happened here to kill all these people? The Apocalypse? Some Natural Disaster? Or did those bloody terrorists finally get here and for some reason not bomb much of the place?

I look around I see a machete on the ground, hasn’t gone rusty it seems. Was hoping for some lightsaber but this’ll do in case zombies did happen. I don’t see a gun anywhere though, perhaps I should have looked for a gun shop or something on the way here…ah well, slice and dicing it is as I put my machete in a sheath I found on the ground.

Well…back to the stairs I suppose

About 30 uneventful minutes later…

Those stairs…huff…never again! I swear on my life, I will nuke every stair and somehow make elevators run without electricity. Then I will find the grave of person who thought of stairs then murder him gruesomely! After I bring back to life and torture him that is!

I opened the hatch to the roof and found the hole in the ceiling of this city, grass seemed to be leaking inside the hole with sunlight shining through, giving the city a dim light much like a torch pointing up in a room.

I saw some bow and arrows on my left next to a skeleton that I decided may be useful just in case and grabbed some vines sticking out and with a struggle, managed to climb out to the outside world of freedom…

As I got out, a rumble occurred down below and I watched as the skyscraper I climbed for so long basically decided to collapse down, I couldn’t see anything down there but I do know I can’t really go back down there.

There is no choice but to go forward

The sky remains blue as ever, the clouds are white, the sun shines, 3000 years doesn’t seem to have changed these things, but the fields I stand on are lush green, like how the Shire looks from Lord of the Rings.

But for me right now, there are three objectives that are certain in my mind:

One: Whatever humanity that there once was, has moved somewhere else.
Two: I gotta find the humans.
Three: Find a safe life for myself.

I don’t see any sign of anything futuristic around here? Did we even develop at all? Did all those space adventures come true and humans have moved to other planets? Up ahead I noticed a town, it looked a bit old-fashioned but I guess that’s okay, maybe I’ll find more about the future in there.

Well, forward it is…

Author's Note

Oh look! Another HIE by me! Nobody saw that one coming!

In case of Anti-Brony Emergency, break this glass for ponies!

With no time to lose, I run for the town in front of me but my legs must be desperate to get there cause I feel like I am running 100 miles an hour or something…wait a moment, I look at the ground and…WHAT THE FUCK?! I AM RUNNING 100 MILES AN HOUR!

I screech to a halt before landing gracefully face first into the grass, let me tell you, that really hurts. But enough of that, what the actual fuck? Since when could humans run that fast? I certainly can’t! Unless I turned into Sonic the freaking Hedgehog! (Preferably the earlier Sonic because the fanbase doesn't like New Sonic at all!). Either this is something being in the future gives you for some weird reason or…that mad guy did something to me before I woke up.

But that can’t be right, can it? I don’t feel any different, but I know what I experienced, the feeling of the wind as I ran…it felt…good, I don’t know how or why but I feel like I wanna run the rest of the distance there.

I start the run and it happens again, that feeling like I’m going 100 miles and hour and I don’t care who knows it as I reach the town and slow down to walking pace. For all I know, this running fast power thing could be prohibited and hunted after and I’d rather not spend the future doing that. Believe me, I've seen enough of those movies.

Welcome to Ponyville! 23 days since the last disaster…

Ponyville? Seriously? What were these guys thinking when naming this town? What’s next? Ratville? Cute-Doggyville?

I walk right in and the first thing I see are technicolour looking ponies, it seems strange to me, but maybe it’s a future fad or something? Maybe it’s the "cool thing" people do, dye the pony colours of the rainbow?

But they seemed to be doing something, but not now because they are staring at me. They won’t stop staring at me, to be honest it’s starting to annoy me a bit. I don’t remember ponies staring at you this long before, what would I know? I’ve never really been to a farm much? (Note to self: Zombie Apocalypse may still be possible, avoid staying at any farms and check for hidden zombies in barns)

A more closer look reveals something quite strange, some have wings and some have horns, none have both but some have neither. The winged ones seem a thinner build, the horned ones seem average and the ones with neither seemed a bit bulkier and muscly. But they all shared something in common, each had some sort of tattoo on their flank. No two marks seemed to be the same at that too.

But where are the Humans at? I can get this must be some old-fashioned town at the VERY least, but surely to have such a town you’d need humans surely?

These ponies followed me, that’s strange, the only thing that would follow me is either trouble or my pet dog who died a year ago…or 3001 years ago to be precise. I wish he were here, he’d make some good company right now.

Now the ponies were crowding behind me, but the town’s design seems a bit weird to me. I saw a building looking like a Gingerbread house, one that looks like one of those thingies you ride on a horse and it goes round and round, hell, I even saw a treehouse building just then. But no sign of a human being anywhere! Where are they? Did they all run off somewhere and left their weird horses here?

Out of the treehouse, a horned Purple pony came out, a star on her flank I noticed and I could tell there was a most curious expression on her face, just a crazy idea…perhaps these horse may be…what’s the word for it…sentient? Nah, that can’t be right at all!

“Uh, excuse me? Hello? Can you understand me?” I hear a female voice to my 11 o’clock

I turned into the direction of the same purple pony that came out of the treehouse, did she just talk? Or is this weird confusion finally getting to me?

“You just talk?” I ask her stupidly
“Of course I talk, and it seems you understand me too! My name is Twilight Sparkle, what’s yours?” She seems supper happy to know that I talk

Okay, this future has officially gone out of the Zombie Apocalypse zone and into the weird zone! Twilight Sparkle? What kind of person names a pony that?

“Uh, my name is Joel” I say
“Well Joel, welcome to Ponyville” Twilight says with a happy look, like she's excited to meet me.
“Uh, not to be rude but, have you seen any humans around that I could talk to?” I asked
“Humans? What are Humans?” Twilight asks

What? How does she not know about Humans?

“Uh they’re like me really, surely you’ve seen some around somewhere?” I answer
“I’ve never heard of any “Humans” before, maybe it’s one of my books? Say, Joel? You must be tired, why not follow me and I can find out more about humans and where they might live?” Twilight offers me

A Girl inviting me into their home? If she weren’t a pony, I’d say I’d be close to scoring!

“Why not just Google it?” I asked as I follow her
“What’s a Google?” Twilight asks in confusion as she trots back to the treehouse.

Gee Joel, it’s been 3000 years apparently, what’s next? Gonna ask her to accept your friend request on Facebook? I must sound out of date much like Myspace did back in 2015!

“Uh, never mind” I shrugged
“Well please come in” Twilight opens the door for me

I look back towards the ponies that crowded around me, and they started muttering to each other. So, they all can talk after all, but now’s not the time, I got to find the humans of the Future and I guess this Twilight is helpful enough.

I enter her treehouse to discover that it was more a library, filled with books and such. It has a certain beauty to the design of this place. My attention turns to Twilight as she goes through books to find humans.

“Nice place you got” I complimented
“Thanks” She said without looking my direction
“Your welcome” I mutter to myself as I sit down

About 30 minutes later…

“There’s nothing about Humans ANYWHERE!” Twilight said in frustration
“Well that sucks” I muttered

No humans? Then…they must have been wiped somehow and IT WASN’T A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE?! GOD DAMMIT! So what did? Or perhaps they just didn’t decide to live on this planet anymore and horses with tattoos on their butts take over, what’s next? This turns into Planet of the Apes, only with ponies?

(GET YOUR DAMNED DIRTY HOOVES OFF ME YOU PONY!)

“Either your race is new or never heard of from around anywhere, but it makes no sense! But…it is exciting to meet a new species I haven't heard of until today…” Twilight rambled on
“Well, I haven’t heard of technicolour talking ponies with butt tattoos until today, that makes two of us” I replied to her mumblings
“Maybe Princess Celestia knows about you humans, she’s really old but she knows almost everything!” Twilight held her head up in hope

I waited as Twilight grabbed a quill and paper, I guess this place must be REALLY going for the old-fashioned look or something. She wrote words on the parchment that I could not read from here. How does she even send a letter to the Princess of this land and be heard?

“SPIKE!” Twilight shouted up some stairs

What I next saw as a dragon, a baby purple dragon, it had to be a dragon from the tales and such, what else would it be? I was rather shocked to see one nonetheless…real and alive…just what happened here?

“Send this to Princess Celestia please” Twilight ordered as she floated the scroll to him
“Now?” Spike asked
“Yes, now” Twilight said

Wait…did Twilight give the scroll through levitation or something? Am I seeing things?

Then Spike takes breaths on exhales flame onto the paper Twilight wrote on…okay…WHAT?

“Why did you burn the paper?” I asked Spike in confusion
“What? Haven’t you heard of Dragon Mail?” Spike asked a bit rudely
“Spike! Sorry, Spike here can sends messages to the Princess with his flame, I’ll probably get a reply any-“ Twilight was cut off with a burp from Spike
"...Minute" Twilight finishes

Spike burped out a bit of paper…okay…how the bloody hell does that even work? I can understand it flying away but just turning into a dragon’s stomach to be burped out? This future is weird and I want a refund!

“The Princess is coming here?!” Twilight half-shouts in shock as she reads
“Oh boy…” Spike groaned
“Quick Spike! Clean everything to look spotless on the double!” Twilight said
“Er, can I help?” I asked Twilight
“Oh no, we’ll be done in a couple of minutes, just wait by the couch please” Twilight instructed me

About 5 minutes later…

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!

“She’s here! She’s here!” Twilight said in a panic as she scrambled to the door

Oh the expression she has is priceless, I couldn’t help but give a smile from that OCD mare that is called Twilight Sparkle.

“Hey, if you think she’s crazy now, wait till you mention there’s an exam coming up” Spike said next to me
“So what’s the deal with her anyway?” I ask
“Oh, she’s a Princess now, hasn’t got the castle yet and she was once Princess Celestia’s protégé” Spike explained
“Twilight’s a princess? She doesn’t really look it to me” I said honestly

Well she doesn't, she just looks like the other ponies I've seen and where's her castle or something? Or she is Princess of the Books? Maybe if she annoys me I'll just yell out NEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD!

“How can’t you? She has Wings and a horn for starters which we call an Alicorn” Spike asked
“Er, well…I have never heard of ponies like her until today” I said honestly
“Oh…no wonder you look more confused that Rainbow Dash with a maths test” Spike said

Yeah…I’m gonna assume this Rainbow Dash isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed on that comment alone…hey I’m judgemental just like you, don’t even try to hide it!

But through the door came a much taller pony of white and a flowy mane with a sun tattoo on her butt…or flank, she was clearly a much more royal looking figure than Twilight but like Twilight, she possessed a horn and wings…

This Princess’ name is Celestia, Princess Celestia…

(Cue the James Bond theme)

Author's Note

Let's be honest if you looked at Twilight and compared her to other ponies with no idea of their cultures, wouldn't you find it hard to believe she's a Princess? For all we know, Celestia and Luna could of had a disorder and passed onto Cadence and Twilight just for a way to show they're Princesses. (or they knocked both mares out and stuck Horn and Wings respectively with glue)

Joel just may be an Assassin...but not like the main character assassin that gets all the glory to be viewed in some weird vitrual past-seeing machine.

Say what you will, but the fact that I buried 2 dead mauled ponies and they came back up trying kill me is frightening as hell. I may not show it but slicing some bad guys is a lot harder to do that it looked, I just sliced it like I was trying to hit a bug.

There is something that is bugging me though, could it possibly be there is another human somewhere? It would fit, there are human minions, nobody is meant to know about humans, and these “Zombie” like creatures share a lot of traits.

It’s a possibility but I don’t think so, maybe it’s someone magical and probably found out the truth, someone had to sooner or later.

But that’s just a thought as I saw a town in the distance. Normally I would stay away but I need to know it’s name to find. The town I saw had no flame decoration, the town was on fire! HOLY SHIT!

I rushed there and called out to any survivors, to my dismay, there were none. I searched and searched frantically for any survivors I couldn’t find any. Dead ponies were burned out and some were stabbed but not burnt. The Necro-forces burned this place the ground.

Celestia is facing a very dangerous enemy, I hope she can hold them off, the other Immortals will need to as well as I am sure their countries have been struck as well.

I hear a cough from behind and see a guard struggling to breathe.

“What happened?” I asked
“Them…those things…” the pony said
“Are there any that escaped?” I ask
“No, but soon…Manehattan will fall, I heard them…please…warn Princess Celestia…very soon…Manehatten will fall! Warn them…” the pony warned

His breath died out, a pony died in my arms…it…it…it’s painful…but more deaths will happen unless I can warn them. I’ll need to wait until nightfall and hope Luna shows up again, it’s been a couple of days.

It turns out I need not wait for the night, I saw someone very familiar to me, it’s that mailmare! Derpy Hooves I believe her name is. Maybe I could convince her to send a message to Celestia. I am seen as evil in the eyes of anyone really, so it’s time for Renegade Joel.

“You there!” I called out
“Huh? AHHH IT’S THE NECROMANCER!” Derpy shouted in fright

I pulled her in with my magic (Nooo, do not even think about it! You know what I mean) and then put my machete around her throat. AHEM! Renegade time!

“Waaah! Please don’t kill me and eat me! I taste bad and I have a family! PLEASE!” Derpy begged as she saw the machete and started squirming
“Oh will you shut it! Now, Derpy was it? The Mailmare from Ponyville right? If you want to see your family again, you will deliver a message to Princess Celestia, okay?” I ordered her
“O-Okay” She was crying a bit now
“Oh for fuck’s sake, stop crying! You ponies are scared far too easily! Now then, hear my words, My forces are heading to Manehattan shortly and I want it to fall with a FIGHT! You Ponies are pathetic! So I want all Celestia’s forces to face my own to defend Manehattan with honor and then I shall crush it!” I said evilly, even with the smile too.
“W-W-Why would you do this?” Derpy was still in tears
“Because I’m fucking evil! That’s why! I sit on wheelie chairs and stroke cats while thinking of my next malicious move! Now go! Go send that message, and if you forget, your daughter will die SLOW AND PAINFULLY!” I said as I let her go

Derpy than freaking ran for her life and took off a fast as she could and damn, she could fly.

I feel like a big freaking jerk now, but it was for the best, I know she will deliver the message, nothing motivates a mother more than a threat to her own children, I know this very well.

But it seems Karma didn’t know about my intentions as I saw a five-man patrol of Necro-soliders heading my way. Quickly I hid but they seemed to split up to search around.

I guess it’s a good thing I was in my violent mood so I can pick them off one by one and make sure that is all of them. See, this is a burnt town, they’ll figure that some survivors rebelled and defeated them and then took off.

So the first one went to my original hiding spot, he was going to spot me sooner or later but I waited for him to get closer and then I slit his throat and dumped his body in a bush.

The Second one was close by as I climbed a roof to search for him, I jump assassinated him akin to how Assassin’s Creed would do it, and I ended his life.

The Third and Fourth were together in a street 3 streets away. I aimed for the dead mare at the back I managed to get an arrow in to her head but her falling was too loud and the fourth turned around to investigate by which time I hid out of sight for a few seconds and shot a second arrow in the Griffon’s chest.

The Last one was just standing there almost asking to be slit but before I could get the human, he turned around and swung a machete at me in which I blocked. The Human was wearing an army outfit so I assume he was one when he originally died.

He swung again and it chopped a bit of my hair but I managed to chop his machete hand off.

“Ha! You won’t be needing the arm anymore” I said

However he smiled as he just grew another one…wait…what the fuck?! HE GREW AN ARM?! I call bullshit on that one!

“Okay, so you can just grow another one, that seems very fair” I said as he picked up the machete

He kept lunging for me in which I keep dodging, I finally get one in his heart which stuns him as I pull the machete out the chest and quickly swing at his head and behead him. Lesson in Zombies: Always go for the head!

Phew! That was a close one.

Clearly, this is unsettling me and that I have underestimated these enemies. The first four were not so bright but the fifth was clearly smart or I was clumsy, perhaps both was the case. I should brush up on keeping my footsteps silent and be more careful. These guys are clearly a bit smarter than they look and I fear that some of the Necromancer’s minions are much smarter and more cunning in their moves.

That being said, I gained an army knife which will come in handy no doubt, clearly it has been sharpened recently to my delight. Also the machete the soldier used and the sheath was taken. Hey, a second one could come handy one day! But one more object came to me and that was a hand grenade, I know not whether it can still be used but who knows? It may come in handy but I must take caution not to pull the pin on it…no…on second thought, I could grab another one off a soldier.

I pulled the pin and aimed it at the ground a few feet away…nothing came, perhaps time has clearly degraded these grenades. I guess that is to be expected I suppose…fucking medieval future!

I at least know the grenades are damn useless, well they may as well be rocks.

I take a look at the town name and it’s name is Hoofsville. What? Now we’re naming towns after body parts now? Anyway, I look on my map and I’m somewhere to the northeast of Canterlot which means if I keep going north-east I’ll end up in Manehattan.

Well, since a battle is happening there soon, I suppose a bit of scouting could be in order if I make it there in time…

Derpy Hooves may not of been the fastest flier around, but when she wants to, she can fly incredibly fast as she landed in the throne room where she needed to be.

“P-Princess!” Derpy flies in as she bows in front of Celestia
“Hello Derpy, have you any mail for me today?” Celestia asks
“No…YES! I have a message…from the Necromancer!” Derpy spits out
“The Necromancer? Are you sure? What is this message?” Celestia asks urgently
“H-He burned Hoofsville down y-your highness…a-and he said…he said he was going to attack…Manehattan next your highness!” Derpy was on the verge of tears again
“And he sent you to send this message? Was his name Joel, this Necromancer?” Celestia asks
“Y-Yes that’s him, h-he threatened my daughter if I d-didn’t tell you” Derpy said
“Very well, please rest, I shall have a guard help you at once. You have done a good thing today, Derpy Hooves.” Celestia pats Derpy on the shoulders in comfort

Celestia then turned to a nearby guard

“Corporal Strong Hoof!” Celestia called to the guard
“Reporting of duty, your highness!” The guard walked to Celestia and stood at attention
“You heard everything, yes?” Celestia asked
“Yes, you highness” The guard answers
“Find Captain Valiant Heart at once and have him send reinforcements to Manehattan on the double, then send a warning message to the Mayor and the guard outpost in Manehattan about the incoming forces” Celestia ordered
“Yes your highness” The guard bows
“Quickly! On the double!” Celestia says urgently

The guard fled the throne room like the Necromancer was behind him and Celestia was rather troubled.

So, Joel was in Hoofsville now, no doubt he overheard the minions talking about their plans. What if he was heading to Manehattan as well? Could he be mad enough to try? Perhaps it was time for Celestia to join in on the dreamwalking with Luna tonight to talk to Joel.

Now, Celestia appreciates all Joel has done for her out in the field but being in a full-blown battle is just suicide! Joel has to know this.

Princess Celestia could only watch as the airships were moving out to support Manehattan, she knew her soldiers can protect that city or die in fighting honorably.

Who knows how the other countries are faring in this war…

Author's Note

No Apocalypse would ever be complete without Manhattan being threatened in some way, this includes pony versions. Especially alien invasions, Lady Liberty is fucked!

Oh and before you roll your eyes at me, Hoofsville was the only name I could think off, thinking of fictional town names is HAAAARRRD!

Finally, there are two main types of Necro-Soldiers, the "Zombie" type which are non-sentient and mostly reduced to primal instincts with maybe a few weapons. The other are sentient types that can think for themselves but cannot betray their master as that type of thinking has been taken out of their thinking capacity, they are also capable of speech.

Also, some of each main type can be more skilled than others, the Marine soldier was smarter due to his experiences and training.

Now then, I best be running before the Derpy fanclub come to secure my demise...I REGRET NOTHING!

If I'd know a Jugg enemy would show up, i would of brought the flash bangs and the guns.

You know, Super Speed is damn useful, if not a fun way to travel. At least I don’t have to rely on public transport and their claustrophobic foot space. Let me tell you that being a tall guy can suck sometimes believe me, I know these things as well as banging your head on things and the like.

But I could cover a lot of ground in a short amount of time, I wonder how I would compare to Rainbow Dash? She’d probably kick my ass though, I’ve seen that mare fly!

But night fell and I can’t risk being out in the open so I found the nearest cave (There is a lot of caves out in the Equestrian fields apparently)

“JOEL! THOU HAVE SOME NERVE THREATING OUR SUBJECTS!” Luna Shouts at me

Yep, back in dreamyland. And I take it they got the message. But another swirl came into the dream and Princess Celestia landed.

“Sister” Luna greeted
“Luna, be at ease, let us hear Joel’s story first” Celestia says
“Wait, how are you here, Princess?” I ask Celestia as I saw her land
“I can connect to Luna’s dreamwalking via magic but I cannot physically dreamwalk by myself” Celestia explained
“Enough words, we must hear thy story since we last left” Luna says impatiently
“Well, it turns out the way I escaped was to the North-East, a place called Hoofsville which by the time I got there, was in flames. One pony survived long enough to tell me that the enemy is planning to attack Manehattan” I said
“We got Derpy Hooves’ message, hence why Luna is a little irritated” Celestia mentioned
“That was me, I was intending to be nice but she ran away of what could be the only chance to warn you so I had to force her with my magic and pretend I was the Necromancer. I regret that I had to do it but there were lives in danger” I explained my reasoning
“Do not worry, you did what you must and we thank you. We have sent forces on the way to Manehattan to assist” Celestia mentions
“Well that’s good, I’m somewhere between Manehattan and Hoofsville” I mentioned

The way Celestia and Luna looked, it was of disagreement.

“WHAT? Surely thou cannot be that rash! Thy enemy would murder you on the spot! Thou must turn back!” Luna warned
“I do not intend to fight them unless I must, I am merely scouting their ways and if an opportunity presents itself, maybe a few can be disposed” I say
“Joel! Thou must of taken leave of thy senses!” Luna shouted
“Joel, a battlefield is too many enemies, I am astounded the both the Necromancer’s forces and the EAN didn’t get an arrow in you when you escaped, you should not rely on such luck again” Celestia warned
“I am not that stupid, it’s called not running around like a moron screaming “COME GET ME ASSHOLES!” out loud” I shot back
“Joel! We order thee to turn back! Our sister here cares very much for you and-“ Luna started

I decided to wake up to interrupt her dream

“Whoops, looks like I lost their connection” I say to myself

The time I woke up was 5am aroundish, I guess it’s time for an early start towards Manehattan.

Now, the reason I am ignoring the Princesses is because no matter what I’d say, they would not agree with me anyways. Say what you will but I think even a few of their soldiers down will come a long way. I have thought foolishly that I can avoid all of this, but that’s no longer possible.

I must fight now, even if it’s a small bit, even if it’s just intelligence, I will not stand around wandering Equestria doing nothing!

So to Manehattan!

Manehattan is seen in the distance, Skyscrapers as high as the original Manhattan, I guess Celestia really wanted to pay homage to this city. But closer to me were the enemy forces, thankfully with their backs turned to me. I counted at least 10000 soldiers from the back alone. The Necromancer isn’t fucking around!

In the skies of Manehattan, I could see airships floating above the city, I see Celestia got the Reinforcements in time. As for what I am going to do, I really don’t know, there are too many of them and they can annihilate me easily, so I keep my distance for now.

I take a position up by a rock and simple observe for now.

BOOM!

I guess that means battle has started, most of the minions run forward while what seems to be a skeleton crew is remaining behind. If I do this right, there will really be a SKELETON crew.

They spit up Into their small groups around the back lines, one headed to my left, another was forward and another passed me and headed to my back right. The back right has to go first or I will be seen easily. There are trees for cover but only a fool would rely on that alone.

Thankfully the closest group is only counted at four so they’ll be easier prey.

Seriously, when I said that 70 seconds ago, I wasn’t kidding, these guys must have been slackers because I snuck on them so pathetically easy, a dragon could have snuck up on them while doing singing Beat it and doing the moonwalk!

I travelled to the second group, with 6 soldiers around, 3 of them crowded so I shot an arrow on target on one further away from me as there was no way to sneak to him without someone seeing it and then I sliced the one in front of me quickly and then the third one made a very small sound as he saw me before his light was out.

You’ll be amazed how much a battle can drown out sounds, the canons firing made for perfect cover for my footsteps but even then, I was not a fool about it. The thing that will lead to a quick death is carelessness on my part.

But I found the third soldier (A griffon), with a gasoline can and a bottle of whisky…that give me an idea. MOLOTOV COCKTAILS!

In recent history (Recent in terms of my perspective meaning around the 20th and 21st century), a easy to make weapon called the Molotov Cocktail has been used to ignite enemies. Now since there is some whisky and gasoline, I combined the two into a bottle and I did have a lighter in my backpack, which I took out.

With the classic concoction made, I ripped a bit of cloth off the human soldier I killed and lit that part when I got close to the three huddled together and threw my great fireball at the trio which burned them down and I sliced them just to be sure.

I am sure the screams would be heard from the third group so I quickly collected my arrows and stole a couple from the griffon soldier…okay I borrowed it without the intention of giving it back, what’s he gonna do? Stare at me while dead? Shame there weren't any more bottle for molotovs...ah well.

But I was right, the third group noticed the burning, five soldiers came, I whipped my bow and arrows at 2 of them, 3 arrows were shot, 1 missed but 2 hit their targets (Hey! Do you have any idea how hard it is to aim accurately while under pressure? 2 out of 3 is damn good), but the other three came rushing and I forced one of them backwards with my magic.

I am thankful I decided to pick up that second machete as I blocked both attacks, it took some work but I finally disposed of the two, it’s hard to dispose of two at the same time when it’s only one machete. I then stabbed the fifth soldier as he got up and looked around to see no more enemies.

BOOM!

More canonfire was going off, but another thing was coming out of a swirling hole, black ships with green circles on it: The Nercomancer’s ships!

These ships has rockets at the back and a lot of soldiers in tow armed to the teeth. There were 3 ships in total compared to EAN’s 6 but these ships were armored as well and could maneuver pretty well from the looks of things.

If the EAN thought they were going to have easy time at all, they were sorely mistaken and that just may cost their lives. But a sound to my right catches my concern…holy shit…

It’s a fucking Necro-Human in a JUGGERNAUT SUIT! So he got taken in this suit or they found one and put one on him, whatever the cause, my machetes or arrows cannot do shit against that.

“Holy fucking sweet Jesus Christ on a fishstick” I gulped

Make that a double-gulped, there was nothing I could use to get him and he had a sword so I can’t get close without getting shredded if I screw up. So I guess it’s time to retreat.

I am not stupid, so I ran from this one and before you go “Oh, you slayed a million of these Necro-Soldiers, why are you afraid of one little armored soldier?” at me, I’ll tell you why, I don’t know if I could win that fight, unless I had bullets but what good is swinging a machete at something that isn’t flesh and he can knock me away and slice me.

And besides, the battle looks in the EAN’s favor anyhow, and I’ve done my share. I hasten to find a spot away from the battle and for the night.

Surely these Necro-Soldiers should know I’m a threat by now, they will be more vigilant, the Necromancer will make sure of it.

But for now, I will head west and see what turns up…

Author's Note

What? You expected some OP human slice through a battlefield? AHAHAHAHAHAHA NEIN! But yes apologies for the long time between chapters, uni is happening and a bit of GTA Online Heists finally coming out! (What took them so long?)