Ponyville needed heroes, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders answered the call. Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo joined forces to become the world’s greatest superhero team: The Mighty Crusaders. Wherever evil may lurk, whenever anypony needed help - mare, stallion, filly, colt - The Mighty Crusaders will be the first on the scene, delivering their hooves of justice to evildoers. But they can’t do it all day because they have to home by sundown.
Apple Bloom, with her red cape dragging at her back legs, complete with a blue body suit with a red capital A inside an upside-down triangle on her chest, was Captain Amazing, the world’s greatest hero. Along with her were Scootaloo, in a black costume, cape, and mask and Sweetie Belle, who was wearing a blue blouse and a red and white striped skirt, along with a tiara she borrowed from Rarity. They were Darkwing and the Majestic Mare, respectively. They spent the night before making their costumes during their sleepover at Sweetie Belle’s house, with Rarity’s help of course.
Their Saturday morning began when Captain Amazing detected a call for help by using her supersonic hearing (It was loud enough to be heard by anypony but Apple Bloom wanted to pretend). “Somepony’s in trouble!” Captain Apple said. “Crusaders assemble!”
In their minds heroic background music played as they were running to the pony in need of their assistance, although Darkwing probably heard a slightly darker version of their theme music than Captain Amazing and Majestic Mare. The Mighty Crusaders skidded to a stop when they found Miss Everly, an elderly mare, standing next to a tree.
“We heard your call, ma’am,” Captain Amazing said. “Is everything alright?”
Miss Everly fixed her glasses, making sure she wasn’t seeing things. The children wearing ridiculous costumes were still in her sight. “My goodness, is it Nightmare Night already?” she said. “Who are you?”
“I’m Captain Amazing!”
“I’m Majestic Mare!”
“And I’m Darkwing,” Scootaloo said in a deep growling voice that came off as silly rather than frightening as she hoped it would be.
“And we’re the Mighty Crusaders!” the trio said in unison. Miss Everly only stared at the children. She didn’t know why they were here, nor did she knew if they came to cause trouble, but she needed help immediately.
“Well, whoever you are, can you please get my cat down from that tree?” She pointed to the top branch where a fluffy white cat occupied. Miss Everly told them his name was Alfonse. Alfonse looked down, and was just as confused at the children as Miss Everly was.
“Don’t worry, I’ll get him down!” Captain Amazing said. She jumped in front of the tree and grabbed it with both arms. If she believed she possessed super strength, then Captain Amazing will be able to free Alfonse from his branchy prison. She tried to force the tree off the ground, but sadly the tree stood in place.
“Let me try!” said Majestic Mare. She pulled out her lasso, remembering the times she saw Applejack using one, and threw it on the branch Alfonse was sitting. However, the lasso caught grip of the branch instead of the cat. “Darn it!” she said.
“Now it’s my turn,” Darkwing muttered. She caught hold of the rope and climbed upward until she was at the top of the tree. There she was face to face with Alfonse. Darkwing reached her arm to him but Alfonse was too intimidated by her frightening appearance to approach her. “Here kitty, kitty, kitty,” Darkwing said in her rough raspy voice, causing Alfonse to hiss at her. “Come here you stupid cat,” she growled.
As Darkwing tried to get closer, Alfonse released her claws and threw his arm at her. Darkwing lost balance and almost fell off the branch. The cat had enough of the fillies’ shenanigans, so it leaped off the branch and into the protection of Miss Everly.
“We did it!” Majestic Mare exclaimed.
“Uh… thank you, eh, little girls.”
“No need to thank us, Miss Everly,” Captain Amazing said, “it’s all part of the job.”
Miss Everly glanced at Alfonse the Cat, and decided if this is what the rest of the day will be like, it will be better if she stayed indoors. When she left the scene Darkwing climbed down from the tree to rejoin her companions.
“Now what?” she asked.
“We look for more ponies who need our help,” Captain Amazing said. “Come on, Crusaders! To Ponyville!” And they were off once again to the rescue.
****
Throughout the morning and well into noon, Ponyville had a taste of what life would be like if superheroes were real. The Mighty Crusaders wandered about, parading themselves in their costumes, performing good deeds for those who needed it to varying results. Sometimes the adults were quite amused of their imaginations, other times they pretend not to notice them. There was one constant that remained the same: the children always gaze in awe at their costumes, mistaking them for real superheroes. It was a wonderful feeling, and the Crusaders relished in it. After helping a crossing guard direct traffic (until she told them to leave), they met Dinky Doo at the park to help find her lost doll. She said a couple of bullies stole it from her, something that the Crusaders very upset.
“Where did they go,” Darkwing said with her loud gruff voice.
“I think they went to the playground,” Dinky said. “You have to get my Gwendolyn back!”
“Don’t worry little girl, we’ll find your doll,” Majestic Mare said, “because we’re…”
“... The Mighty Crusaders!” the trio proclaimed. They sprang into action, and were off to the playground, leaving Dinky to wait by the water fountain.
As Captain Amazing led her team to the playground, she closed her eyes and imagined herself flying in high speeds in the sky like in the comic books. Majestic Mare pictured herself inside her invisible jet, while Darkwing rode on her motorcycle. They were immersed in their superhero personas that they forgot their real names. Finally the Mighty Crusaders arrived at their destination. They hid behind the bushes so the bullies wouldn’t see them, not that they wanted to avoid them. Darkwing pulled out her binoculars and saw an alicorn doll tied to a pole on the swing set.
“That’s Gwendolyn alright,” she said.
“So what are we waiting for?” Majestic Mare said. “Let’s go!”
“But we need a plan.”
“Why do we need a plan for?” Captain Amazing asked. “It’s the three of us against the two of them. I can take them down with both my arms tied behind my back.”
“I’d like to see you try,” Darkwing said.
“You know I can.”
“Girls, we need to stop arguing,” Majestic Mare said. “We have to get Dinky’s doll back from those bullies.”
“And we have to do it fast,” Darkwing added. “Here’s the plan - the two of you create a diversion while I untie Gwendolyn from the swings.”
“How are we going to create a diversion?” Captain Amazing said.
“I don’t know. Make noises, act silly; I don’t care, do whatever you can.”
Captain Amazing and Majestic Mare gave questioning looks at each other. After a moment of consideration they decided to go forward with Darkwing’s plan. The two nodded to each other, then jumped from behind the bushes and into the path of the bullies. The young superheroes gained the attention of the bullies by flailing their arms and screeching like monkeys. The bullies had no idea how to approach the situation, so they stood there watching in bewilderment. Meanwhile, Darkwing dashed passed the bullies like a shadow, pulled out a pocket knife from her homemade utility belt, and untied Gwendolyn from the swing pole. Captain Amazing looked passed the bullies and saw that Darkwing was giving them a signal.
“... We’re done,” she said. Captain Amazing and Majestic Mare simply walked away, leaving the confused bullies to re-examine what they had just witnessed, as well as taking a retrospective of their pathetic lives.
The Mighty Crusaders found Dinky waiting at the water fountain with her head on her hooves, eyes to the ground.
“I believe this belongs to you,” Captain Amazing said. Dinky looked up, and her frown disappeared, turning into an open mouthed smile.
“You found Gwendolyn!” The terrible morning was over when Dinky was reunited with her beloved doll. She held it tightly in her arms. “Oh thank you!”
“Don’t mention it, kid,” Darkwing said. “We’re superheroes, it’s what we do.”
“If you need anything, just call us,” Captain Amazing said. “You can count on us.”
Dinky wanted to ask why they were doing this, but if they took time out of their day to help her find her doll, then she figured it was better not to question them. Dinky waved goodbye to them, and was eternally grateful for the superheroes that came to her rescue.
“Today has been pretty good so far,” Captain Amazing said. “We’ve accomplish a lot. What should we do now?”
“First, let’s get something to eat,” Majestic Mare said. “I’m starving.”
“Yeah, hiding in the shadows can take a lot of energy from you,” said Darkwing. “Let’s go get hayburgers.”
“Great idea Darkwing,” Captain Apple said.
The Mighty Crusaders took the path that led them out of the park and into town, where their hayburgers were waiting for them. However, unbeknownst to them, somepony was watching them from afar, plotting his nefarious schemes against our heroes.
****
Seeing children dressing as superheroes eating hayburger wasn’t a normal occurrence, but the Cutie Mark Crusaders were not normal children. Their lunch break consisted of adults jokingly commenting on how it’s too early for Nightmare Night and other children saying how “cool” their costumes were. Some asked if they could take photos with them. When their lunch break ended, the Mighty Crusaders resumed their day of superheroics.
“Alright Crusaders, there’s more work to be done,” Captain Amazing said.
“You know, it just came to me,” Majestic Mare said, “we’ve spending time helping ponies with their problems instead of fighting bad guys.”
“She’s right,” Darkwing added. “Helping others and cool and all, but I was kind of hoping we get some action. All superheroes need a supervillain to fight.”
“Come on y’all, helping others is the best thing anypony can do. Where does it say that superheroes need to fight bad guys all the time?” asked Captain Amazing.
“In every comic book ever made!” a loud voice said.
The Mighty Crusaders turned their attention to the direction of the voice. A colt stood before them, who had to be no more between the ages of eight and eleven. He wore a black suit, similar to Darkwing’s, with a gray cape around his back. On his head was a silver helmet that covered most of his face except for his eyes and mouth. He smiled devilishly at our heroes.
“... Who are you?” Captain Amazing asked, tilting her head.
“Who am I? I am Professor Mayhem, the master of all evil!” he said. He followed his proclamation with a boisterous evil laugh, all while the Mighty Crusaders gave themselves confused glances.
“Never heard of you,” Majestic Mare said.
“Really?”
“Never,” Darkwing answered.
“Well, everypony in the world will know my name when I’m done with you three!” he said. “I’ve been following you all morning, doing good deeds for ponies and all that junk. It makes me sick! So I decided to destroy you all and spread chaos and mayhem all over the world!”
He followed-up with another evil laugh after explaining his master plan. The Mighty Crusaders glanced at each other, deciding whether or not they should continue with their day without him.
“Can you hold that thought for one second?” Captain Amazing asked. “We were in the middle of an important discussion.”
“What? Okay fine,” groaned Mayhem. The Mighty Crusaders huddled together, choosing the moment to break character.
“This guy is nuttier than day-old pecan pie!” Apple Bloom whispered. “Does he really expect us to fight him?”
“I say we should. It’s about time a villain arrived,” said Scootaloo.
“You can’t be serious! He said he’s been following us all day! I don’t know about you guys, but I find that just plain creepy!”
“He might seem to be a little… weird,” said Sweetie Belle, “but I think we should spend time with him. I mean, he could be just a lonely kid trying to find a friend to play with.” Apple Bloom raised her head and took a quick glance at Professor Mayhem. He was still waiting to them to finish their discussion. She remembered what Applejack had told her about giving different ponies a chance, even if they seem strange to her. And of course, she was dressed as Captain Amazing, the most humble superhero in the world of comics.
“... Okay, we’ll play his little game.” The trio nodded to each other, then turned to face Professor Mayhem, back into their superhero personas. “You’re insane, Professor Mayhem!” Captain Apple said.
“Flattery will get you nowhere!”
“You’ll never get rid of us without a fight!” Darkwing growled.
“I take that as a challenge!”
“I ain’t scared of you!” said Captain Apple. She charged to his direction, her red cape flowing as though she were flying. Professor Mayhem reached under his pocket and pulled out a plastic green rock. As Captain Apple was closer he pressed a button, and the toy rock glowed a green light.
Captain Amazing (or Apple Bloom) realized what it was, so she stopped and pretended to be weak. “Oh no… it’s… it’s a green crystal,” she said. “My… weakness.” She slumped on the ground as Professor Mayhem held the crystal over her head.
“Not so powerful now, are you, Captain Amazing?” He laughed maniacally while Captain Apple played up being weak from the “hazardous” green crystal.
“Don’t worry, I’ll save you!” Majestic Mare yelled. She twisted her lasso and aimed it for the plastic green rock. She threw it, and to her luck she caught the green toy and pulled it from Professor Mayhem’s hoof. Captain Amazing stumbled trying to stand, but she “felt” her super energy flowing through her veins again.
“Thanks Majestic Mare,” she said.
Despite Majestic Mare setting Captain Amazing free from the clutches of the green crystal, Professor Mayhem howled diabolically at the Mighty Crusaders. “You think I don’t have something else up my sleeve?” he said. “Behold, my very own… hypno-watch!”
He reached for his sleeve and released a little golden pocket watch (it was a gift from the boy’s grandfather) and waved it in front of the face of Majestic Mare. She tried to shield her eyes from the watch, but it was too late. Majestic Mare was now under Professor Mayhem’s full control. “Good,” he sneered, “now, attack your friends!”
“I will obey,” she said like a zombie. She turned around, facing Captain Amazing and Darkwing with dead zombie eyes. However, she winked at them, then proceeded to throw fake punches.
“Oh no, Majestic Mare is under mind control!” Captain Amazing said, block every punch her “brainwashed” teammate threw.
“Don’t worry, I was prepared for this!” Darkwing said. She reached for her utility belt and held a laser pointer in her gloved hoof. She pointed the red beam of light into Majestic Mare’s face.
“Ow! Hey, that hurt my eyes!” she said.
“Sorry about that. At least you’re no longer hypnotized.”
“Fools!” Professor Mayhem cried. “You may have escaped my… evil stuff, but this is only just the beginning! Soon I will unleash mayhem on the whole world!” He laughed like a madpony and sprayed loads of silly string on the Mighty Crusaders. In the heap of confusion Professor Mayhem took his leave, running off to commit more evil deeds.
“We have to stop Professor Mayhem!” Darkwing growled. “Who knows what kind of evil plans he has for Ponyville!”
“How are we going to do that?” Majestic Mare said.
“We can see what he’s up to on my Darkwing Supercomputer! To the clubhouse!”
“... We don’t have a supercomputer,” Captain Amazing said.
“Oh. Then we should just follow him!” Our heroes cleansed themselves of the silly string attack, then charged into town to thwart the evil plans of Professor Mayhem.
****
The search for Professor Mayhem was in full progress, with the Mighty Crusaders hot on his trail. Like always, whenever they sprang into action, the fillies imagined themselves flying, running, or driving at high speeds. They were completely immersed in their wild fantasies that they didn’t noticed the crossing guard blowing her whistle at them. Our heroes put the brakes on their hooves when they saw the giant red STOP sign in front of their faces, but they still kept a lookout for their new arch nemesis.
“Do you see anything?” Captain Amazing asked. While waiting for the sign to turn green, Darkwing used her binoculars to search the area.
“Hey, look!” She pointed to a outdoor seating section of a restaurant, and Professor Mayhem among the crowd, unseen. While nopony was looking, he slipped a whoopee cushion on one the seats, and crawled under the table. Then a waiter directed a stallion and a mare to the table Mayhem was hiding under. The mare unwittingly sat on the chair with the whoopee cushion; a loud, unpleasant flatulent noise ranged in the air, causing eyes to turn to the unfortunate and embarrassed mare.
Professor Mayhem revealed himself to the crowd by cackling like the devil in plain sight. “Mayhem reigns!” he yelled, then vanished to commit more dastardly deeds.
“The fiend!” Majestic Mare said. The red side of the sign was turned on the green side, and the Mighty Crusaders pursued the villain once again.
To their frustration they lost him again. Professor Mayhem was too quick for our brave heroes. Captain Amazing used her x-ray vision (she didn’t really have x-ray vision) to search inside the stores and shops he could be hiding in. She couldn’t find hide nor hair of him.
“He sure is a crafty one,” she said. Suddenly the trio heard a shriek from a filly from their right. They dashed to the scene of the crime like a bolt of lightning.
It was a terrible sight - a filly was standing in a single square that was drawn with chalk on the sidewalk. She was trying to keep her balance, but the fear of falling out of the square was too great, so she trembled.
“Little girl, what happened?” Majestic Mare asked.
“I was playing hopscotch, but this crazy kid with a weird helmet came out of nowhere and erased all the squares! Now I can’t get out!”
The Mighty Crusaders exchanged glances at each other, then gave themselves nods of approval. Darkwing reached into her utility belt and took out three pieces of chalk, then drew squares on the ground. The little girl finished her game of hopscotch with content, then turned to thank her new heroes.
“Gee, thanks… whoever you are,” she said.
“Where did he go?” Darkwing asked. The little filly pointed forward, and the chase continued. Later that day the little filly told her older brother about the superheroes, and asked him to take her to a comic book store.
The Mighty Crusaders found themselves in the shopping square, eyes turning in different directions in search for Professor Mayhem. Many ponies were out and about, making it hard to point him out. He could be anywhere among the bustling crowd of shoppers.
“It’s him!” Majestic Mare shouted. The Terrific Trio saw that Professor Mayhem was standing next to a trash bin with a “NO LITTERING” sign on it, drinking a can of soda. He drank until the can was empty, crushing it with his hoof. He gazed at the sign, then at the crushed can of cola. Then, with a smile as wicked as a car salespony, he dropped the can on the ground, having no regard for the importance of recycling.
“Hey! Litterbug!” Darkwing yelled.
Drat! I’ve been found, he thought to himself. Then he chuckled under his breath. This is exactly what he wanted to happen. Professor Mayhem ran around the corner of the grocery store and found the path that led straight into the playground. The perfect hiding place, he thought.
“He’s getting away!” Majestic Mare said.
“Not for long!” said Captain Amazing. In her mind the grass they were running on turned into the wide blue sky, and she was flying in high altitudes in the air. When the Mighty Crusaders arrived at the playground they found Professor Mayhem by the roundabout. “The jig is up, Mayhem,” Captain Amazing said. “We got ya cornered. It’s time to give up.”
“You think you have stopped me? You three just fell right into my trap!”
“What trap?” Darkwing said.
Professor Mayhem lowered himself into the ground. Suddenly he threw a small net at our heroes, laughing as they struggled to get out of its clutches. Luckily, Darkwing had a pocket knife inside her utility belt, and sliced the net set themselves free.
“You won’t get away with this, Professor Mayhem!” Majestic Mare said.
“Oh really? Because I was just about to unleash my most deadliest plan yet!” He pointed to a small model rocket that stood on the ground, with a piece of paper on it that had “SUN BLOCKER” written in capital letters. “I shall launch this rocket into the sky, then it will explode, covering the earth in thick black clouds! After that, no more sunlight forever! Isn’t it brilliant?”
“You can’t block the sun,” Majestic Mare said, “we need to grow things and stuff!”
“And how will plants photosynthesize without the sun?” Darkwing asked.
“Who cares about a bunch of plants? What have they ever done for us?” Mayhem said. He pulled a remote from his cape and point it toward the rocket. With no options left, Majestic Mare took off her tiara and threw it at the colt’s hoof, resulting in the remote falling to the ground. She quickly recovered the tiara, remembering that it belonged to her older sister. The remote to the rocket was confiscated by Darkwing.
“No!” Mayhem cried. “My plans! Foiled!”
“Ready to give up now?” Captain Amazing asked.
No without a chance to have his way. Professor Mayhem gazed at the roundabout behind him, and an idea formed in his mind. “I’ll have to catch me through time first!” He grabbed the bars of the roundabout, turning it, and pretended it was a time machine.
“Oh no, he’s going back in time!” Captain Amazing said. “He’s gonna make the everything all weird and stuff!”
“We have to stop him!” Darkwing added. “If he gets the chance, he’s going to make it literally rain cats and dogs!” The Mighty Crusaders chased Professor Mayhem in circles on the roundabout, which for a moment became the timestream. They fought and chased through every major event in the history of the world, and soon they will arrive at the beginning of all things… the moment of the creation of the universe - The Big Bang.
“Kirby!” a female voice called. “Kirby?”
Professor Mayhem, followed by the Mighty Crusaders, ceased turning the roundabout when he heard the sound of a familiar voice. A mare, a pegasus to be exact, descended from the sky and landed next to the colt. “There you are, I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” She looked beyond him and glanced at the fillies wearing ridiculous costumes. “Oh, I see you’ve been playing with some friends,” she said, smiling.
“... Uh… yeah.”
“I’m very sorry to break this up, but your Aunt Petunia is here and she’s been dying to see you. Maybe you can play with your new friends tomorrow, if that’s okay with them.”
Professor Mayhem, who was now called Kirby, turned his head toward our heroes. There was nothing to be said, so they nodded with approval of the prospect of meeting him again. Afterward, Kirby’s mother took him home, but not before he approached the Mighty Crusaders one last time. He removed his helmet, letting his light brown mane breathe.
“Um… thanks for letting play with you guys,” he said. “And… I’m sorry if I was, you know, too much on the bad guy stuff.” Since Kirby removed his helmet, the Mighty Crusaders followed suit, using the moment to break character. “I play superhero with my older brothers and they always have me be the bad guy.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Apple Bloom said. “To tell you the truth, I was having fun.”
“You were?”
“Yeah! We thought dressing up like superheroes would be cool, but we didn’t expect to actually fight a villain,” Sweetie Belle exclaimed.
“You were great out there, kid,” Scootaloo said. “And I’d be lying if that whoopee cushion thing didn’t make me laugh a little. And there was hopscotch girl, too. Poor kid.”
“Aw shucks, thanks guys,” Kirby said. “Well, I gotta go now. It was nice playing with you.” With that, Kirby and his mother left the playground to see his Aunt Petunia. Apple Bloom gazed at the sky, pleased with what they had accomplished on this day.
“I guess we saved the world,” Scootaloo said. “What are we going to do now?”
“Do you want to come my house and watch a movie?” Sweetie Belle asked.
As the day drew to a close, the Cutie Mark Crusaders figured that Ponyville had their fill of superheroes for one day. Besides, Princess Twilight and her friends will always keep their little town safe from harm - they always had, and they always will. Apple Bloom thought about Kirby as they left the playground. Maybe Sweetie Belle was right after all. He was just looking for a friend to play with. Someday, when the Crusaders decide to be superheroes again, maybe Kirby won’t have to play the villain anymore.
