The Measure of a Stallion
The Measure of a Stallion
The Stallion Challenge
Dawn glimmered on the eastern hills, sending forth golden rays to chase away the shadows of night. Upon the craggy mountains it shined, upon the highlands and the lowlands, the moors and the seaside. But sunlight alone would not stay the claws of the great dragon, nor its fiery breath. It would pillage on, until it had stolen every precious stone and gold galleon, until it had ravaged every village and kingdom. For Beocolt, the dawn did not bring relief—it robbed him of time he did not have.
The aging unicorn king donned his mail armor and set upon his head the helm of his forefathers. Then Beocolt went to his soldiers, who had gathered at the edge of the forest with fear in their eyes and whispers on their tongues of the dragon about to awaken in the cave just beyond the ridge. Beocolt saw the terror gripping his warriors. He knew they would be worthless in battle this day. Besides, it had to be the great Beocolt who defeated the dragon. Beocolt, who had slain the monster Grendog and saved the golden hall of Ruffgar, king of the Danes. Beocolt, who had defeated Grendog’s wicked and even more terrible mother after she attacked Ruffgar’s hall in revenge for her lost son. Beocolt, king of the Gaits, the great warrior unicorns of the highlands.
Aye, it could only be Beocolt.
It may have been fifty years since those glorious days of heroes and victory, but Beocolt was not about to let the dragon continue to raid and burn the land. And so he bade his soldiers farewell and went alone to meet the fiery beast waiting beyond the ridge.
The dragon arose at the sound of Beocolt’s hoofsteps as the old king approached its lair. Smoke poured from its nostrils and wrath flamed within its cruel eyes. The dragon stood before its vast hoard of treasure, wings beating the air like a maelstrom. It bared teeth that were sharp like swords and drew deep furrows in the ground with claws that were like spears. With the glow of rising fire at the back of its throat and venom dripping from its fangs, the dragon unleashed a terrible roar.
Beocolt raised his great sword Neighgling and charged—
The school bell clanged overhead, signaling the end of class. There was a collective groan from the foals, all of whom had been teetering on the edge of their seats throughout the story. The brown unicorn stallion, with a white cloud crossed by a red quill on his flank, standing at the front of the classroom understood—he wanted to finish the story, too, and he was the one who was telling it.
“Cain’t ya finish it?” begged a yellow earth pony filly with a pink bow in her scarlet mane. “Please?” The other foals joined Apple Bloom, adding similar pleas.
A mauve earth pony mare with three smiling daisies on her flank stepped forward, quieting her students. “Now, now, everypony,” said Cheerilee, “I’m sure Cloudy Day wouldn’t mind coming back tomorrow to finish the story.” She glanced over at Cloudy. “Would you?”
“I’ll be here, Miss Cheerilee,” Cloudy Day promised.
An orange pegasus filly with red-violet hair slumped over her desk. “But that’s a whole day from now!” Scootaloo complained.
“You’ll just have to be patient,” said Cheerilee as she began ushering her students out of the schoolhouse. “Now run along, everypony. Oh, and don’t forget about the medieval art project! Be sure to get together with your partners this week, and don’t wait until the last minute. Have a great day, my little ponies!”
Cloudy Day joined Cheerilee in the schoolhouse doorway. The foals were dispersing, chattering away. The Cutie Mark Crusaders were reenacting what they thought would be the next part of the Beocolt legend, with Sweetie Belle perched atop Apple Bloom as the dragon and Scootaloo as Beocolt. Scootaloo charged, knocking the other two fillies over and defeating the “dragon.”
“They aren’t going to like the ending very much,” Cloudy Day noted. After all, Beocolt’s encounter with the dragon was his last. While Beocolt may have struck the fatal blow to the dragon, the old king had been bitten, and the dragon’s bite was venomous. He did pass on his crown to the most loyal of his soldiers—Whinnylaf, the colt who braved the dragon’s ferocity when all the other stallions fled in fear to the forest. Beocolt, who had no heirs, knew Whinnylaf would be a good and just king, and so made the passing of his throne to Whinnylaf his last royal decree, and then died.
Cheerilee chuckled. “They’ll like it if you’re the one telling it,” she assured Cloudy Day. “Thank you for coming today. I’ve never seen foals so interested in literature before. Your talent for storytelling is remarkable.”
Cloudy Day swirled a fore hoof in a small circle across the floorboards, heat rising to his face. “I’m not all that good,” he protested weakly.
“Nonsense! Oh, but I’m keeping you. You must have other things to do. Thank you again.”
Cloudy Day waved goodbye and departed the schoolhouse. He had barely left the schoolyard, however, when a familiar grey unicorn mare found him. Her white hair was long and disheveled, as if she had forgotten to brush it, and on her flank was a full moon partially veiled by clouds, in a dark blue night sky.
“Hello, Misty Moonrise,” said Cloudy. “What brings you to the schoolhouse?”
“I heard somepony was telling the legend of Beocolt today,” Misty replied. “I wanted to see if I could sit in to listen as well, but… I overslept.”
Cloudy Day understood. Misty was used to a more nocturnal schedule, but now that she was living in Ponyville she had to divide her time differently. Now she only stayed up half the night, but she was also awake for the better part of the day. She often slept late, long after everypony else had woken with the sun. Being Princess Luna’s student had its downsides, too, it seemed. “I can tell it over again,” said Cloudy. “I don’t mind.”
“No, no,” Misty insisted. “I know the story like the back of my hoof. I’ve just never heard you tell it.”
“Well, I’m going back tomorrow to finish it. You can come listen then. We’re at the part when Beocolt first attacks the dra—”
“INCOMING!”
Before either Misty or Cloudy could so much as look up at the cry, a feathery blur hurtled into them out of the sky. All three ponies were left in a sprawled pile, with Cloudy Day squashed on the bottom and Misty Moonrise sandwiched between him and the cause of all the excitement.
The mahogany pegasus stallion, with a silver shield cutie mark, shook his sepia mane out of his eyes. “Hey, guys,” said Steel Shield casually. “What’s up?”
“Can’t—breathe!” Cloudy Day gasped.
“Oh.” Steel Shield lifted himself into the air with a few strokes of his wings, freeing his friends. “Sorry about that,” he went on as Cloudy and Misty picked themselves up.
A blue pegasus mare with rainbows for her mane and tail and a rainbow lightning bolt on her flank swooped out of the very same clouds from which Steel Shield had plummeted. “Everypony okay?” Rainbow Dash called.
“This time,” answered Misty Moonrise. “What in Equestria were you doing? Somepony could have been seriously hurt.”
Steel Shield alighted beside her. “Don’t get your tail in a knot, Misty. Dash was just showing me how to do a sonic rainboom.”
“Well, that was the idea,” Rainbow Dash put in from her perch on a stray puff of cloud, “but you need a bit more practice, Steel. Good effort, though.”
“Regardless, you shouldn’t—” Misty chastised, but did not get very far.
“Wow, would you look at the time,” interrupted Rainbow Dash, glancing at her wrist as if she were wearing a watch. “I’ve gotta go… help Fluttershy organize her sock drawer. See ya!” And she zoomed away.
Steel Shield snorted and teased good-naturedly, “You sure know how to scare off a pony, Misty.”
Misty Moonrise rolled her eyes in response, continuing down the path she and Cloudy had been walking before Steel’s crash landing. Cloudy Day followed her.
“Anyway,” Steel went on, joining them, “what are you ponies up to today?”
“Well, Lilypad invited Juniper Berry and me to an afternoon at the spa,” answered Misty. “That reminds me: she wanted me to ask you if you’d like to join us, Cloudy Day.”
Cloudy brightened at the prospect. “Absolutely! I had to cancel my appointment last week, and I’ve been overdue for a hooficure—”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Steel Shield planted himself in front of the two, eyes wide in disbelief. “Wait a minute, let me get this straight. Cloudy, you go to the spa?”
Cloudy Day flicked an ear sideways, tilting his head to one side in confusion. “Yeah.”
“Willingly?”
“Of course.”
“And you choose to get a hooficure?”
“Yes.”
Steel Shield shook his head as if he could not believe his ears. “What is wrong with you? You’re a stallion, for pony’s sake!”
“What does that have to do with anything?” Misty Moonrise asked, just as puzzled as Cloudy Day.
“Stallions do not get hooficures,” Steel admonished sternly, “and we definitely don’t go to the spa—that’s for mares.”
“That’s the most absurd—” Misty began.
Steel Shield ignored her, facing Cloudy Day. “Please tell me you don’t get that green goo all over your face, too, with the cucumbers on your eyes and stuff?”
Cloudy Day averted his gaze, ears back and face turning red.
That seemed to be the final straw. Steel Shield turned away in disgust, scowling. “I can’t believe it! Cloudy Day’s a total mare!”
“Am not!” Cloudy protested, indignant.
“You are so! No real stallion would be caught dead at the spa. It’s like skipping around picking flowers, or getting your mane done at the salon—only girls do things like that.”
Cloudy Day scowled. “I don’t skip…” he mumbled.
Steel Shield fell over laughing.
Misty Moonrise rolled her eyes again. “Come on, Cloudy,” she said, stepping around Steel. “We don’t want to be late.”
“No, you wouldn’t want to miss the hooficure special!” Steel Shield taunted through his gales of laughter. “You girls have fun!”
Cloudy Day stamped a fore hoof. “I’m not a girl!”
“Yeah?” Steel jumped to all fours, still chuckling, and challenged, “Prove it.”
Cloudy hesitated, but only for a moment. “All right, how?”
“A test,” replied Steel. “A test that only a stallion could pass; a… a Stallion Challenge! If you can do everything as good as I can—well, admittedly that would be impossible, so let’s say about twenty percent as good as me—then it’ll prove you’re really a stallion, not a mare.”
Misty simply could not believe her ears. “Of all the ridiculous—”
“You’re on,” Cloudy Day agreed.
*
Word spread, quickly turning what was intended to be a competition between two friends into a minor tournament. Four more stallions entered as contestants alongside Steel Shield and Cloudy Day: Hawthorne Pine, a pine green earth pony with dark grey hair, red eyes, and a red record with a pine tree through its center on his flank; Comet Tail, a light yellow unicorn with blue hair and eyes, and a shooting star cutie mark; Bulk Biceps, a white pegasus with close-cropped, dirty blonde hair, red eyes, and a dumbbell cutie mark; and Big McIntosh, a large red earth pony with short orange hair, green eyes, and a halved, green apple on his flank. A fair number of Ponyville’s citizens congregated to witness the Stallion Challenge, including a reluctant Misty Moonrise—if only to make sure her male friends did not take things too far. The little purple dragon Spike was there, too, in a black-and-white striped shirt and cap, to act as referee. With his large hourglass timepiece, Doctor Hooves was also present to time the individual events.
The first challenge was one of strength. On a bare patch of earth on Sweet Apple Acres property, the six stallions were harnessed to wagons heavily laden with apples. When Doctor Hooves flipped over his hourglass, Spike blew his whistle, and the stallions began to pull. Bulk Biceps and Big Mac had no trouble whatsoever with their loads. Steel Shield and Hawthorne Pine were not far behind them, but Cloudy Day and Comet Tail could barely keep up.
A butterfly landed on Bulk Biceps’ nose, distracting the burly pegasus long enough for Big Mac to trot ahead of him and over the finish line, claiming first prize. Biceps shook off the butterfly when he saw this, clenched his massive jaw, and lumbered into second place. Steel Shield and Hawthorne Pine were neck-and-neck for a time, but, just as they came upon the finish line, Steel Shield spread his wings and plowed ahead into third place, with Hawthorne taking a close fourth. Comet Tail figured out some sort of spell that helped lighten his load without removing any of the apples, happily taking fifth place and leaving Cloudy Day struggling at the rear. By the time Cloudy finished, time was almost up, and he was sweaty and short of breath. Nevertheless, Spike called an end to the first event and ushered the stallions on to the next.
The second challenge was to prove prowess—a wrestling match, in which the first one to yield lost. The six contestants drew lots to divide themselves into three pairs: Hawthorne Pine and Big Mac, Steel Shield and Cloudy Day, and Bulk Biceps and Comet Tail. Once the wagons were cleared away, the pairs spread out, and each began to size up his opponent. Doctor Hooves flipped his timepiece, and Spike shrilled the start.
The first pair to produce a winner was Biceps and Comet. Bulk Biceps simply sat on top of the much smaller unicorn, squashing him and voiding all further action, forcing Comet to concede defeat. Cloudy Day gave Steel Shield a bit more of a fight, though it was mainly by dodging Steel’s punches. Eventually, however, Steel Shield caught Cloudy and held him in a headlock. Cloudy reluctantly yielded. No-pony was entirely sure who won between Big Mac and Hawthorne Pine, though. Despite Big Mac’s obvious advantage in size, Hawthorne was quick and surprisingly strong for a pony his size. Every time Big Mac caught hold of him, Hawthorne managed to slip out of his grip or use Big Mac’s own momentum against him. Just as Spike was about to call a draw, Hawthorne Pine finally pinned Big McIntosh for the win.
The third challenge took place in Froggy Bottom Bog, to test—as Steel Shield phrased it—a stallion’s resilience to muck and sludge. Simply put, there would be six frogs, each bearing a small flag that was the same color as one of the stallions. Each contestant had to catch their frog before the others caught theirs, and they had to become sufficiently muddied in the process. Fluttershy had to be recruited initially to catch the frogs and slip onto them the tiny vests that held the brightly colored flags.
When the hourglass was turned and the whistle blown, the stallions leapt into the bog—save one. Bulk Biceps lingered at the edge, glancing between the muddy water and his white-flagged frog squatting on a nearby log. He tentatively dipped one hoof into the swampy muck, but then drew it back and shook it clean, and refused all further attempts. Comet Tail and Big Mac kept bumping into each other trying to catch their frogs, and Cloudy Day had lost his under the murky water. Hawthorne Pine almost managed to snatch his, but the slippery amphibian popped out of his hooves and into a grove of cattails. Steel Shield crept up behind his frog, with only his eyes and ears above the water, and suddenly grabbed his prize by its little russet vest. Hawthorne Pine rose suspiciously out of the mud nearby, and only belatedly noticed the lily pad and green-flagged frog atop his head. Big Mac finally trotted out of the bog with his frog perched, ribbitting, on his muzzle. Comet Tail and Cloudy Day came up with the same solution at roughly the same time—encircling their frogs in bubbles of magic.
For the fourth challenge, the stallions were lowered with unicorn magic to the bottom of Ghastly Gorge and instructed to climb out without the aid of ropes, wings, magic, or other ponies. Misty Moonrise and a few other unicorns would keep a magical net spread beneath the stallions to prevent serious injury, just in case they fell. Once more, Doctor Hooves started the clock and Spike blew his whistle.
Big Mac and Bulk Biceps, while easily strong enough to make the climb, were hindered by their large frames and left at the bottom. Without his magic, Comet Tail struggled as well, allowing Cloudy Day a chance for at least third place, though neither unicorn was particularly skilled at scaling the rocky cliff. Steel Shield confidently climbed from ledge to ledge, thinking himself in first place. When he glanced back, however, he only saw four stallions below him. Looking up again, Steel found Hawthorne Pine darting upward like a spider on the rocks. Steel Shield wanted to fly right past him, but Spike had teamed up with Rainbow Dash—both in the black-and-white stripes of referees now—and was sitting astride her as she hovered in the air, floating between contestants to ensure there was no cheating with wings or magic. Reluctantly, Steel Shield settled for second place, and he was surprised to see Cloudy claim third. Comet Tail almost made it to fourth, but his hoof slipped and sent him plummeting. What was more, he fell right on top of Big Mac and Bulk Biceps, knocking them off the wall as well and sending all three of them into the magical safety net.
Then came the fifth and final challenge, which was to take place in the cave at the top of a nearby mountain. The crowd was much smaller now, as few spectators desired to be anywhere near the lair of a sleeping dragon. This dragon did not snore as the cavern’s previous napping occupant had, but no smothering smoke was a poor reason to assume the dragon was any less dangerous. For this reason, Fluttershy stood beside Spike, Rainbow Dash, and Doctor Hooves, just in case the dragon woke.
“Remember,” said Steel Shield, lined up with the other stallions at the mouth of the cave, “the point is to take a piece of treasure from the dragon’s hoard, not to wake him up. No flying, no magic, and definitely no loud noises. Whoever gets in and out first wins.”
Big Mac abruptly shook his head and began to leave. “Nope.”
“C’mon, Big Mac,” Steel urged. “It’s the last test. In and out—no big deal… or are you scared?”
“Nope,” Big McIntosh repeated resolutely, adding, “but I’m not stupid either.”
“Big Mac’s right,” Misty Moonrise said, stepping between Steel and Cloudy. “Stealing from a dragon’s hoard isn’t a game.”
Steel Shield snorted and rolled his eyes. “Mares don’t understand. Stallions are brave, and this is the ultimate test, the real meaning of the Stallion Challenge. If we can’t prove that we’re brave, then we aren’t really stallions.”
Misty abandoned arguing with Steel—nothing was going to convince him otherwise—but continued pleading with Cloudy Day. “This whole thing’s been ridiculous from the beginning, but this is serious. You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, Cloudy.”
For a moment, Cloudy seemed ready call it quits along with Big Mac. Then he shook his head and stated firmly, “Beocolt wasn’t afraid to face the dragon, and his was awake. I can do this.”
“Beocolt is a fictional hero with exaggerated abilities and exploits,” Misty Moonrise admonished, exasperated. “He doesn’t even survive his encounter with the dragon.”
“Don’t listen to her,” Steel intervened, nudging Misty away with a wing. “Mares always worry for no reason.” He looked to the other contestants. “Any more mares want to back out? No? Good. Everypony ready?”
Bulk Biceps puffed out his chest with a sudden bellow. “YEAH!”
“Shh!” shushed all the other ponies present.
Bulk Biceps clamped his mouth shut with a startled expression, belatedly realizing how foolish his outburst had been.
Steel Shield glanced at the referees and timekeeper. “Ready when you are, Spike.”
Spike, Rainbow Dash, and Doctor Hooves traded uncertain looks, but the Doctor flipped over his timepiece all the same. Spike did not blow his whistle this time, should the shrill squeal wake the dragon. Instead, he waved the small white flag from Biceps’ frog—the only flag that had not been dirtied beyond recognition during the third challenge.
The five remaining stallions quietly entered the cavern. With every step, the shadows deepened, and the dragon’s steady breathing became louder and louder. It was not long before the great slumbering wyrm appeared out of the gloom, dimly illuminated by the faint glow of his treasure hoard. His scales glittered green and silver, and tiny wisps of grey smoke curled from his nostrils every now and then. He rested upon a vast pile of coins and gems, chased silver chalices and jeweled crowns, golden goblets and dishes, strings of pearls and the gilded scabbards and hilts of ancient weapons long forgotten.
The sight of the sleeping colossus was enough to send Comet Tail racing for the exit. Bulk Biceps’ already bulbous eyes widened further, and soon, despite his previous enthusiasm, he also beat a quick retreat. Only Steel Shield, Hawthorne Pine, and Cloudy Day remained, creeping along as silently as possible. They kept a wary eye on the slumbering beast as they inched closer and closer. Before long, they were close enough to reach into the dragon’s hoard for their prizes. Hawthorne grabbed a filigreed cruet in his teeth, carefully lifting it off the pile and slowly beginning to back away. Cloudy Day eased one of the numerous sapphire stones from beneath a cluster of gold galleons. The coins tinkled softly as the sapphire was removed, skittering in a small, clinking avalanche. Steel Shield had his eyes on a bejeweled crown fit for a king, but he had to climb onto the mound of treasure to reach it. Each step sent a few more coins tinkling downward.
Suddenly, a lump of treasure beneath his hind hoof gave way. Steel Shield lost his balance and flopped face-first into the gold, sliding noisily down to the cavern floor and leaving the kingly crown untouched at the top.
The dragon stirred. Eyes as gold as the treasure blinked open, catlike pupils widening to soak up and pierce the darkness. Smoke began to pour from its nostrils as the dragon raised its head, surveying its lair for the cause of the disturbance. When it spotted the three thieves, a low growl grated up its throat and its lips peeled back to expose its gleaming fangs. With a great sweep of its tail, the dragon sent all three ponies flying into the cavern wall.
Cloudy Day was the first back on his hooves. He helped Hawthorne up and instructed, “Get Fluttershy.”
Hawthorne Pine glanced at his burgled cruet, but one look at the irate dragon dispelled all thoughts of the competition. He bolted for the exit—and the only pony who could calm a dragon.
Steel Shield had not risen. When Cloudy Day went to him, he found the big pegasus favoring one of his wings. “Come on, Steel, you need to get out of here, too,” he said, pushing his friend to his hooves.
“And leave you to deal with this oversized lizard by yourself?” Steel shook his head. “Not on your life.” He winced as he shifted his injured wing.
“Don’t be stupid,” Cloudy argued. “You’re hurt!”
Before Steel could retort, the dragon spread its jaws and roared. It advanced toward the two stallions, rising fire glowing at the back of its throat.
A glittering silver aura sprang to life around Cloudy Day’s horn. He leapt between Steel Shield and the dragon, and released a burst of magic. The flash of light was so bright that the dragon reeled back, bellowing in rage and rubbing at its eyes. Cloudy Day unleashed the blinding spell once more, forcing the dragon to back off farther.
Just then, Fluttershy soared into the dragon’s lair. She hovered before the howling creature, stroking its scaly nose and murmuring soothingly to cool its ire.
Cloudy Day finally managed to convince Steel Shield to leave with him, and the two hurried out into the sunlight.
*
Although the school bell had not yet rung, the foals were already gathering outside on the grass in anticipation of the finale of the Beocolt legend. Cloudy Day waited under a nearby tree, idly picking flowers with wisps of magic. Steel Shield was there, too, with his wing in a splint, and so was Misty Moonrise, who had her blue journal open on the grass and a quill scribbling across the page.
“Don’t forget to mention how awesome I was,” said Steel Shield, peeking over Misty’s shoulder. “And maybe leave out the part where my wing was hurt.”
Misty rolled her eyes. “I’m putting down exactly what happened, Steel. This isn’t a work of fiction.”
“Yeah, but—”
“There you are,” came a new voice. The three friends looked up to see the violet alicorn Princess of Friendship approaching. “Fluttershy tells me you thought to steal from a dragon’s hoard yesterday,” Twilight Sparkle continued. “I hope you returned what you attempted to pilfer.”
Steel Shield traded glances with Cloudy. “You know, I wasn’t even thinking of the Stallion Challenge after the dragon woke up.”
“It all seems sort of silly now,” agreed Cloudy Day, embarrassed. “Trying to prove I was stallion by doing all those things—I didn’t even have fun.”
Twilight Sparkle smiled knowingly. “Well, I hope you at least learned something from all this.”
Steel Shield nodded. “I learned that what you like to do has nothing to do with whether you’re a boy or a girl, and you definitely don’t have to ‘prove’ yourself to anypony. A real friend accepts you for you, not who they think you should be.”
“And you shouldn’t worry if others think what you enjoy doing isn’t for you,” Cloudy Day added. “A mare can enjoy sports and mud as much as a stallion can enjoy picking flowers and getting a hooficure, and there’s nothing wrong with that.”
Misty Moonrise sighed. “That’s what I tried to tell them.”
Twilight Sparkle chuckled. “Sometimes ponies need to figure things out for themselves.”
“Especially boys.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Cloudy Day and Steel Shield asked simultaneously. Then they looked at each other and laughed.
Apple Bloom and the other foals suddenly appeared, with Cheerilee herding them along from the back. “Can ya finish the story now, Cloudy?” she begged. “Miss Cheerilee said ya could tell it out here, on account it’s such a lovely day an’ all.”
Cloudy Day glanced at Cheerilee to make sure it was all right. When she nodded, he set his flowers aside and settled down before his anxious audience. “Let’s see, where was I? Ah, yes. Beocolt raised his great sword Neighgling and charged…”