Applejack of All Trades

by TundraStanza

Rating: teen
Tags: Applejack, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Discord
Length: 5709

Applejack is one of the most hardworking ponies around. Even if given the power to magically solve problems, she would never abuse it. At least, that's what she tells herself before the opportunity snaps in.

Discord never did strike Applejack as somebody she could trust. Heck, when he was evil, she at least had an idea of what to do about it. Now, he seems more or less a nuisance than anything else.

AJ takes pride in her work. No pony can question that. But Discord believes that's just because she's never had the power to do anything differently. So he makes an offer. He'll loan a copy of his powers at no charge. How long will she be able to resist the easy road when it also seems right?
---
Dr. Wolf, are you sure you don't want to write these stories? I mean, they practically write themselves.
MLP: FiM is property of Hasbro, DHX Media, and Studio B.
Rated "Teen" for slight jabs at adult humor.

Published 2015-02-11 02:40:03 UTC
Last updated 2015-02-22 23:27:21 UTC

Even Windows

The rooster crowed once. A full day of applebucking was waiting. That was just the way Applejack liked it. All of the vampire fruit bats were sticking to their sanctuary. So, when she knocked a few apples out of the first tree, she was happy to hear solid 'plops' without a single 'smush'.

"Buon Giorno!"

Naturally, her hair stood on end at the sudden exclamation. She held her hat tightly against her head as she frantically looked around. It wasn't until she looked up about three trees away that she saw a familiar fluff attached to a red tail.

She sighed. "What are you doing here?"

The recipient stretched out his mismatched limbs. This display was accompanied by a loud yawn. After a few joint-cracking sounds, the expected head popped out of the tree's leaves.

"I was just trying to see why Rainbow Dash likes sleeping in these branches more than her own cloud home," said Discord, "So far, all I've gathered is that it's a killer on the spine."

Standing up, he reached back and literally pulled out a column of vertebrae. He ran his claw down the bone structure until he found the slipped disc. He shoved it into a straighter shape before lodging the whole thing into his back. He sighed with a relieved grin.

Applejack shook her head. It was way too early in the day to deal with such a nuisance. He may have been mostly reformed, but his presence was hardly ever beneficial. She was still trying to forget how he handed her and her friends in a silver cage to that Tirek guy. The repressed memory made her shiver.

"Well, good luck with that," she said dismissively. She turned around, deciding to start with the second row of the orchard today.

"That's it?" asked Discord, suddenly appearing in front and to her left. "Not even a passing hello for a friend?"

"I've got a full day today," Applejack stated while still trotting toward the tree. "Hup!"

Bucky McGillicuddy and Kicks McGee made contact with the tree's sweet spot. The ripe, crispy apples tumbled down into the buckets. The tried and true method took years of practice. Each of which felt worthwhile to her.

"Really?" wondered Discord, "I could free up your schedule."

Before Applejack could say 'what', she heard a snap. A wide flash of light sent the entire orchard's worth of apples into the pre-placed buckets. A second flash and snap floated those buckets onto her nearby wagons. A third snap sent the wagons chugging along. They even made a 'choo-choo' noise as they raced off to the barn.

Snarling, Applejack threw her hat to the ground. "Consarn it, Discord!"

"What?" Discord shrugged innocently. "I was just doing a favor for my friend AJ."

"I... You... ugh..." It was no use arguing with him, and she knew that. She muttered, "Thanks."

"You're still upset," he observed. He gently picked up her hat and dusted it off. He then slowly laid it atop her head. "What's bothering you?"

When Discord got curious about something, there was no stopping him until one of two things happened. Either every pony around him would have to deal with his nonsense until he got bored, or they'd have to lead him to a satisfactory answer. Being one of the straightforward types, Applejack sighed and settled on what was hopefully the latter category.

"It's your wacko chaos power," she said, "Every time you use it, it gives me the willies."

"Why Applejack, can't you trust me?" Discord held what could be called his chest, assuming his anatomy held any semblance of normalcy. "I'm reformed now, and I'll never use my powers to bring harm your way. Didn't you just see me help lighten your workload?"

"That's just it." Applejack's tail flicked slightly. "You just used your power to get rid of the work. Hard, honest work is a reward in and of itself. I'd never use such an overblown power to get rid of that sense of accomplishment."

"Oh, really?" Discord slowly and deliberately tapped his talons and claws against each other. He held a wicked grin with his eyes half-closed. If Applejack wasn't feeling uncomfortable before, she certainly was now.

"Uh, why are you looking at me like that?" she risked asking.

"Why indeed," he said with a chuckle. "I have a proposal, Honest Applejack."

"I'm not interested," she said hastily. But before she could gallop for the hills, a segment of serpentine body rested atop her back.

"Just hear me out for a second," requested Discord. "I'll give you the chance to prove that there's iron behind your words."

Applejack swallowed the lump in her throat. "What did you have in mind?"

"Suppose that I give you a small dose of what I'm capable of, the power to grant any desire you want to enact within one hundred feet of you. These powers will automatically return to me after ninety-eight point six casts or thirty-seven days, whichever comes first."

Her face returned to a neutral expression. She was still suspicious of him. "What's the catch?"

"Hmm, let's see." Discord started pointing to his tail and counting individual hairs. "No killing, no necromancy, no romantic interference to move it faster or slower, and no Saddle Arabian laser beams."

Applejack tilted her head. "Huh?"

"Oh, don't worry about that stuff," insisted Discord, waving his tail dismissively. "I'm sure you'll figure it all out."

This was all a game to him. Applejack realized that. She didn't like being bribed with things like power, and she really didn't have any reason to follow through with whatever scheme Discord was hatching. She knew this. Yet... there was a part of her that was curious. What exactly did having such an ability feel like?

"I just have one more question," said Applejack.

"Yes?" The draconequus slid off the pony's back.

"When you lend me this power, will it hurt?" She looked at him anxiously.

His smile switched from wicked and cunning to innocent and gentle. "I don't know. Did it hurt?"

Her eyes opened wide. "Wait... you mean... you already did it?"

He turned his lion paw pad-side up and pointed a claw. "Look inside your hat."

Applejack wasn't sure where he was going with this, but she took off her hat anyway. She gasped. On the underside, there were five red numbers that were dimly lit to show themselves apart from the rest of the Stetson. They read as follows: 36d 23h 59m 59s. 98.6. The fourth number slowly decremented with each passing second.

"Whenever you wish to use your power, just reach inside your hat, imagine what you want to happen, and point in the general direction of where you want it to happen."

She looked up at him. "How exactly can some pony have six tenths of a wish?"

"Now what fun would it be if I told you that?" he retorted.

She gave him one more look of indignation before slapping her hat back on. "If'n you'll excuse me."

"Take care, Applejack," he waved, watching her trot away.

As soon as the orange pony was sufficiently out of view, Discord snapped and vanished. Several yards away in some unspecified, diagonal direction, he reappeared on the inside of a cloud house. This startled the inhabitant who was in the middle of reading Daring Do and the Ring of Destiny.

"You were completely wrong about that napping space," he said matter-of-factly.

The light nearly blinded her. The wood felt dry against her tongue. The metal felt cold against her hide. But these were the necessary evils one had to face at least once during their lives. A healthy body was the temple for a healthy mind.

"Everything seems normal, Applejack," said Nurse Redheart as she stepped back and set her stethoscope aside.

"That's good to hear," said Applejack as she hopped down from the soft table.

"Though, if I may ask, what made you decide to come in for a checkup today?" pried Redheart.

AJ awkwardly scratched the back of her neck. "Well, Discord touched me and it made me feel uncomfortable."

"Ah." Redheart nodded and that was the end of that. She hoofed results away for filing.

"Thanks for seeing me," said Applejack graciously before heading out the door.

"No problem, take care," said the nurse.

Even though she physically checked out fine, Applejack wasn't the type to leave things half-finished. With resolve, she went inside the spruced up castle and trotted lively down the hallway. There were two places in here that she was most likely to find the pony she was looking for. A quick glance at the empty round throne room was enough to convince her to backtrack. She nudged open the third door on her left.

"Twilight, you in here?" she asked, even though she was fairly certain about it.

"Oh, Applejack! Hey!" called a different voice than what she was looking for, but she was happy to hear all the same. The owner of said voice quickly strode around the room to show himself. "How are you doing today?"

"Well, believe it or not, that's pretty much the reason why I'm here," she answered. "Where's Twilight?"

"Ha ha! Oh gosh! That is so funny," commented the voice that AJ was looking for.

Spike sighed with a knowing grin on his face. He motioned with his claw. "This way."

As they walked, Applejack idly looked around the castle's library. Many tomes were lined up neatly, or at the perfect diagonal. The shelves had a mighty fine Crystal Empire vibe to them.

"If you don't mind me asking," inquired Spike as he kept walking, "what's up?"

"Well..." Applejack coughed. "It kind of has to do with... Discord."

Spike slid to a halt and turned around frantically. "Discord? Where is he? Is he here right now?!" The poor dragon whipped his head high and low, watching out for the draconequus to strike at any second.

Applejack waved a hoof dismissively. "No, no, he's not here." At least, she hoped not. "It's just that he did a 'favor' that involved touching me, and I want to make sure that there isn't some weird magic or voodoo that he left behind."

Instantly, Spike calmed down and looked back at her. "Oh. Well, I guess that would make sense."

"She did not! My goodness." There was a sigh in the princess' voice.

"What in the world is she jabbering about?" wondered AJ out loud.

"Oh, it's just the book that lets her talk with those other-worldly friends," said Spike with a chuckle. "They've been at it for the past half hour."

Applejack hummed in understanding. "So, it'll be a mite longer before she's ready to do anything else?"

"Probably." Spike nodded. "Actually, if it's just a basic magic check you need, you don't need a unicorn or alicorn. I've seen a book that explains how to go about an easier way to test for magical abnormalities."

"Er, well..." Applejack suddenly looked nervous.

"Don't worry," insisted Spike, "This won't be anything like the time I tried to pay a life debt. I know how to follow instructions from a book."

That seemed reasonable enough. Applejack smiled and nodded. "All righty then, lead the way."

Eagerly, Spike ran over to the shelf and started scanning titles. "Let's see... 'Testing 101'... 'The Test of Principles and Potential'... 'Testos-' Whoa! Not that one!" He blushed sheepishly and coughed before skimming the rest of the titles silently. "Ah-ha! 'Test Yourself and Friends For Nasty Magic Side Effects'."

One of the tables in the library was soon covered in various items. A glass of soda pop was left half-finished. Rubber calipers were to the left of that. To the right, a few inkblot pictures were spread out. Spike was currently holding the jar of the fifth test item between his claws. He also had a clothespin on his nose.

"Okay, last one," he said as he carefully opened the jar away from himself. "Take a whiff of this."

Applejack leaned in and sniffed. She immediately pulled back and slapped a hoof against her nose. "Ew! Yuck! Is that skunk?"

"Good," said Spike as he firmly slapped the lid back down. He rushed the jar back to the place that must not be mentioned. When he came back, the clothespin was gone too. He took one more glance through the book. "Whatever Discord did, it didn't leave any negative effects on your IQ, your magical resistance, or your five senses. That's everything."

"In other words, I'm still normal?" asked Applejack for confirmation.

"Well, about as normal as any pony that can blast friendship beams with Twilight at the big baddies," commented Spike with a smirk.

She chuckled a little. "Yeah, that's about what normal has become, isn't it?" She tipped her hat lightly. "Much obliged, Spike."

"Sure thing, Applejack," he responded as he started cleaning up the test supplies.

Idly, Applejack started scratching her hair just underneath her hat. "I should really get going back-"

*Poof!*

*Pop!*

"... home," she said, "It's almost... lunch..." She slowly lowered her hoof. It was at this time that she got a good look around herself. No longer was she in the castle library. Instead, familiar trees and farmland surrounded her. "How in tarnation did I get here? Wait."

She flipped her hat over and looked carefully. Now, the numbers read: 36d 18h 59m 22s. 97.6. Wait, ninety-seven point six? Why did the wish counter go down by one? She didn't even wave her hoof from within the hat.

Her eyes widened in realization. By scratching her head, she had been pointing at... herself. Slowly, she put her hat back on. She needed to be careful. She didn't want to accidentally trigger that power every single time she got itchy. Gazing around in fear of being watched, she trotted into the farmhouse.

---{36d 00h 00m 00s. 97.6}

The next morning, Applejack was out and about with tools before the rooster even crowed. With her applebucking essentially finished for the next three weeks, she decided to get some fencing done. It was crooked and out of place again.

She wasn't sure, but she really wanted to blame the FlimFlam brothers for this damage. She shook her head before she pulled out three nails from the box. There wasn't any point in complaining to phantoms of the past. Like it or not, she was going to fix this fence. After about three bangs from the hammer, a burst of magenta light materialized and brought a familiar friend.

"Howdy, Twi," greeted Applejack with a kind smile. "What brings you by?"

But Twilight Sparkle was much more frantic than her. "Applejack, quick! What... is your favorite food?"

AJ's smile evened out as she tilted her head in confusion. "Favorite? Twi, choosing a favorite food is like trying to choose my favorite Apple Family member. You know how important all of my family is to me."

Twilight smiled in relief. "Oh, thank Celestia. He didn't make you a liar again."

Applejack blinked twice.

"When Spike told me that you were touched by Discord, I feared the worst," admitted Twilight. "But, it looks like you're okay."

"Oh, right... that," said AJ.

"Out of curiosity, what exactly happened when Discord touched you?" asked Twilight.

"Well, it started when he lifted all the apples right off my trees and put them straight into sorting," told Applejack, "I commented at how lazy having so much power would make him. I also stated that hypothetically, I'd never let myself rely too heavily on such power."

"Uh-huh." Twilight nodded, listening intently.

"He must have taken that as a kind of challenge, because next thing I knew, he was offering to actually let me use some of his power for a maximum of thirty-seven days." She took off her hat and showed the red numbers.

"A countdown, and a wish counter, huh?" Twilight said observantly. "Wait, how does somepony have six tenths of a wish available?"

AJ shrugged before donning her hat again. "Beats me. He was pretty cryptic about it when I asked him the same thing."

Twilight hummed thoughtfully. "Have you tried using that power at all?"

"Well, it wasn't exactly planned. After Spike and I did a basic check for anything magically wrong with me, I said that I wanted to head back home. The next instant, I plum teleported to Sweet Apple Acres."

"Wait, you used a teleportation spell?" Twilight's eyes opened wide. "And you didn't suffer any magical repercussions?"

"I guess," answered Applejack with uncertainty. "I didn't feel sick if that's what you're getting at."

Twilight resumed a thoughtful pose. "Well, I suppose if there weren't any huge detrimental consequences, there shouldn't be too much to worry about."

"I was thinking of maybe just going about the rest of the time limit without using up the wishes," admitted Applejack. "I'd like to leave manipulative magic up to the ones that were born with it."

"Sounds good." Twilight nodded. "Let us know if something bad does develop, okay?"

"Will do," affirmed Applejack before Twilight took to the skies and flew away.

She returned to the steady pattern of banging the nails into the wood.

---{31d 17h 58m 30s. 97.6}

The end of the week was set aside for Applejack and her six friends to relax around a picnic blanket. Well, Fluttershy, Rainbow, Rarity, Spike, and Twilight were relaxing. Pinkie Pie was rolling around in something that smelled good. AJ wasn't going to bite the corn on that cob. In any case, they were all just happy to be in each other's company.

"Oh, I almost forgot," said Twilight as she set her cup down. "Did anything else happen?"

"Huh?" Applejack was removed from her train of thought. "Oh, that. Nope."

Rarity raised her eyebrow. "Now whatever are you two talking about?"

"Well..." Twilight paused, looking between Rarity and Applejack. "Is it okay if I let them know about this?"

Applejack waved a hoof dismissively. "I'll tell them."

"Tell us what?" asked Fluttershy.

"Yeah! What do you two know that we don't know?" Rainbow added with a snarky tone.

"Uh, three actually," interrupted Spike with a raised claw.

"You too?" Rainbow's face scrunched up even more.

Applejack set her hat upside-down on the blanket. "Discord gave me a temporary copy of his powers."

The four ponies that had previously been out of the loop gasped in unison. No pony knew when Pinkie found the time to join the conversation, but there she was.

"Surely, you don't mean the powers," pleaded Rarity.

"The power to create chaos and mayhem with just a snap?" Rainbow crossed her hooves in skepticism.

"And left all the chocolate rain without whipped cream to go with it?!" screeched Pinkie.

"Girls!"

All eyes turned to the quiet pegasus who was clearing her throat. "Um, maybe we should calmly let her finish explaining? I mean, if you want to. You don't... have to."

Twilight nodded affirmatively.

"He kind of did me a favor that I didn't really want," continued Applejack, "So, I kind of suggested that I wouldn't use such powers to be lazy even if I actually had them. As part of his challenge, he decided to set the following conditions." She pointed to the inside of her hat with the five red numbers. "Any time I reach inside my hat and point at something I want to change, it'll happen. The maximum limit is the granting of ninety-eight point six wishes or thirty-seven days, whichever comes first."

"Hold on a second," interrupted Rainbow, "There is no way to have six tenths of a wish."

"Yeah, that's pretty much what I said too," commented Applejack.

"Ugh." Rarity voiced her disgust. "Nothing about that draconequus makes sense. Why should this?"

"So if I just reach in and wish for a second Party Cannon..." Pinkie reached into the hat, then waved her hoof forward.

"Pinkie Pie!" the rest of the group exclaimed.

Except, nothing happened. Additionally, the fifth red number remained the same.

"Aw, I broke it," pouted Pinkie.

"Actually, I think Discord specifically set it to work for Applejack," suggested Twilight.

"Really?" Rainbow eyed the hat before looking at its owner. "Hey, AJ! Try it out on me."

Applejack raised her eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"Use that wishing power to make me a Wonderbolt!" Rainbow posed in excitement.

Applejack still looked in disbelief. "Aren't you already a Wonderbolt?"

"Wonderbolt Reserve," corrected Rainbow with a sigh. "It's just an auxiliary branch. We don't really get called to fly or fight much."

"How about you just keep up the practice until they accept you into the front lines?" offered Twilight.

"Abusing Discord's power for an instant gratification would make your Academy training all for naught," added Fluttershy.

"Plus, if you got your dream job now, what would you do with the rest of your life?" asked Spike.

Rainbow landed with a huffy flap of her wings. "I'd think of something."

"Oh, I know!" exclaimed Pinkie before shoving her face against AJ's. "Make us all ice cream sundaes!"

A disturbing image of six melting ponies and one melting dragon passed Applejack's mind. She shook her head of the image.

"I'd rather not risk it being taken literally." She gently pushed Pinkie out of her personal space.

Rarity hummed. "That is a good point. Who is to say that it would always grant your wishes with precisely your desire?"

Rainbow stood up determinately. "All right, I've got an idea for how we can test run this power. Turn yourself into a pegasus pony."

"Huh?" The rest of them looked at her with varying degrees of confusion.

"Now, why in the hay would I do that?" asked Applejack.

Rainbow looked at her in disbelief before scoffing. "Duh, so that we can have a race where we both have wings! We can consider this even for The Running of the Leaves where neither of us could use wings."

"But, didn't you both cheat during that race?" Spike pointed out.

Rainbow ignored him. "What's the matter, AJ? You call yourself the most daring pony but you won't accept a little challenge?"

If it were anyone else, Applejack probably wouldn't have thought twice about leaving the conversation. But because it was Rainbow Dash, there was an even stronger desire to compete, a desire to fulfill, a desire to wipe that smug grin off of her face. So in spite of all reason, Applejack's hoof went into her hat and pointed down at herself.

"Remember, RD." Two limbs covered in orange feathers sprouted out of her back. "You asked for this."

"Heh, now we're talking!" chuckled Rainbow. "Let's see here... The race will take place between here, Canterlot, and back here again. Sound good? Good."

An extra shade of orange zoomed away against the expected rainbow trail.

Author's Note

As much as I can't stand the guy, I must admit that writing for Discord is fairly easy. I'm not sure if that makes him predictable, makes me insane, or some other third thing.

At first, I was going to write a one-shot. Yet somehow... it got away from me. :twilightsheepish:

...Break

---{31d 17h 28m 14s. 96.6}

She rested on the ground on her side. Her breaths were quick and loud. She was certain that she had never sweated so much before. Her wings weren't aching, but the rest of shoulder area was. At the moment, her eyes were closed as she tried to recover.

"Heh, if this is enough to wipe you, you really need to work out more," said her rival.

Sometimes, she really wished that pony would shut her trap.

"Applejack, are you going to be okay?"

She turned her head slightly and cracked open one eye. She saw who she thought had spoken.

"Y-Yeah," she managed to say between breaths. "I'll be... fine. Just... give me a minute, Rarity."

"Oh, no," said the voice before turning to her friends. "Girls, she's going blind!"

"Hang on!" said another voice.

One second, Applejack was wondering what was going on. The next, she was suddenly drenched in something cool. She let out a yelp and hopped onto her hooves. She shook wildly and sent the water droplets flying. Blinking a little, she finally got a good look at the nearest drenched pony and the dragon with an empty bottle.

"Sorry about that, Fluttershy," apologized Applejack.

"Oh, it's okay," insisted Fluttershy, "I've seen a few fillies and colts temporarily lose sight after intense flight fatigue." She wrung out a section of her mane between her hooves.

AJ turned to look at Spike. "Thanks."

"No problem. That's what friends do," he replied with a smile and a nod.

"So, what happened?" asked Applejack as she slowly looked at everyone present. "I guess Rainbow won that race, right?"

Rainbow landed with a grunt, and idly kicked some dirt.

"There's something you'll probably want to see," commented Rarity, giving Twilight a knowing glance.

With that cue, Twilight turned and charged up her horn. Within seconds, a grid-pad of light was floating in midair. Then within that, another screen showed up similar to that of a movie projection. It showed a first-person perspective of Twilight watching the two pegasi zoom away toward Canterlot. The visual turned at a munching sound. The projection depicted Pinkie Pie holding a bunch of snacks and waving two pennants, one with a rainbow lightning bolt and one with a trio of apples.

"Pinkie Pie, is that really nece-? You know what, never mind," said a muffled copy of Twilight's voice.

The visual shook a little side-to-side before turning back to see the returning fliers. The trail of orange touched down upon the ground just a fraction of a second before the multicolored trail. Even after Twilight's spell faded, Applejack's eyes were wide open and staring at that spot.

"Just so you know, I was taking it easy," remarked Rainbow, "I could have totally gone faster."

"Wait, but you told us that you couldn't believe you lost because you were going the fastest that you could possibly go," chattered Pinkie with her head tilted and her brow raised.

Rainbow flinched and turned toward Pinkie. "Well, yeah, but that's how fast I can go without setting the world on fire due to sheer air resistance."

"Nice save, Dash," muttered Spike.

"So, yeah... congratulations, Applejack," said Rainbow reluctantly.

Applejack continued to stare at the spot. "I won?"

"Simply marvelous!"

Several party favors went off in an unseen space as Discord himself popped in with open limbs. The shower of confetti snapped AJ out of her stupor as she looked at him in disbelief. Discord, however, seemed quite pleased with the situation. He even conjured a wireless microphone with his face on the head of it.

"So, after besting one of the best in the sky, what's next for Applejack?" he asked with a wry smile. "Wait! Don't tell me. I can fathom a guess."

He snapped a couple of times, removing his celebratory goodies out of the picnic stuff. The other flash seemed to occur just above Applejack's line of sight. Concerned, she started rubbing her head with a hoof. There was a heavy, crown-like weight on the tip top, and a firm weight upon her forehead.

She deadpanned and flatly stated, "Not in a million years."

She reached her hoof for the Stetson that was still laying downside-up. As she pointed a hoof at herself, all the extra weight and limbs were removed. The fully restored earth pony plopped her hat on, briefly glancing at the red ninety-five point six.

---{6d 15h 33m 00s. 95.6}

"You know, it's not a genie contract," commented Discord. "You can go beyond three wishes."

"I know," replied Applejack.

"It's been a whole month."

"I know."

---{4d 18h 22m 05s. 95.6}

"Pleeeeeeeease?" Pinkie Pie pouted with her best imitation of Winona's begging face.

Applejack sighed, reluctantly holding her hat down to reach in. "Fine, but you're only getting it for the next five days."

A couple shakes brought forth two clouds. One started precipitating a familiar chocolate substance. The other released slowly falling dollops of fluffy, whipped cream. Pinkie's tongue was going crazy catching the unique rain and snow. She then stepped out of the sweet goodness and gave Applejack a big hug.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" She squealed in delight before bouncing along. The clouds somehow knew to follow her.

"You going to magic that mess off?" wondered Discord.

"Nope." Applejack smirked as she trotted toward her house. "I'm going to take a bath."

Discord literally twisted his head every which way that he could. Why was she insisting on doing things the hard way when it came to herself?

---{2d 17h 00m 00s. 93.6}

"My big blue sapphire!" screamed Rarity.

The diamond dogs chuckled as they made their getaway.

"Give that back, you thieving varmints!" hollered Applejack.

Said varmints were quite surprised when they were suddenly no more than fifty feet away from their starting point. They were also wondering how they had gotten tangled up by a rope of all things. As if that wasn't a large enough surprise, the spoils of their raid were quickly snatched from their grasp.

"Much obliged," said Applejack with a knowing gaze. "Now, would you kindly get lost?"

A swish of her neck and a flick of the lasso was enough to send the ruffians flying all the way back home. Once that was taken care of, she positioned the quarry just so on her back before trotting up to the victim.

"You okay, Rare?" she asked.

"Oh, no need to worry about me," insisted Rarity as she magically took hold of her sapphire. "But thank you for stopping by and helping out."

"No problem." AJ smiled.

"Although, now that you're here," said Rarity thoughtfully, "there is one teeny little thing I'd like to ask."

"What's that?" Applejack wondered.

"Would you mind using that temporary gift of yours to fix that gaping hole in the window?" Rarity pointed to the shattered remains of one side of her boutique. There were even a few pieces of glass still dangling to the top of the frame. "My usual specialist is out of town this month, and I'm not sure my clients will be able to stand the sight for that long."

Applejack hummed. "You do realize that I'm never going to be able to do this kind of thing again, right?"

"I understand." Rarity nodded assuredly.

Applejack decided to go for a little theatrical approach. She waved her hoof over her upside-down hat before reaching inside.

"Window repair-o!"

*Poof!*

---{92.6. Time's up.}

She galloped back and forth, one row after the other. The new plow seemed more than willing to follow her lead. When she got to the last row, somebody popped in just at the edge of the field.

"What is it, Discord?" asked Applejack, looking genuinely interested.

"Six," he said more to himself than anyone else, "I seem to be running into that number a lot lately. Coincidence?" He shrugged. "Probably."

AJ shook her head dismissively as she unhooked herself from the plow. She was a busy mare. She didn't have time to figure out Discord's self-reflections. Of course, that didn't stop him from appearing in a flash as a smaller version of himself. He floated along next to her ear.

"I just don't get it," he admitted. "You had all that power available to you. You could have done... well, anything." He conjured a miniature slide projector and pressed a remote. "An all-expense-paid vacation, a journey through time and space, a living monster movie, a cross-country adventure with a pony that you'd inevitably fall in love with, ... The possibilities were unlimited. Heck, you could have even defied gravity for a time." The extra pictures faded. "So out of all that, why did you settle for an accident, two body alterations, and three favors for a couple of friends?"

"What can I say?" she asked rhetorically. "I didn't really need to do anything else."

Discord's body slithered around into the shape of a question mark. "You know, I used to think you were the most straightforward one of the group. But right now, I can't read you."

"Well, your math was a bit off too," she commented.

"Excuse me?" He took the shape of an 'X'.

"I actually did favors for three of my friends with those powers," she explained. "You didn't think the wings were just for my benefit, did you? They were for Rainbow Dash." She picked up a couple of buckets of apples that hung on either side. "She wanted a challenging race on her terms. I gave her just that."

"So you just happened to win?" he asked skeptically.

"She may have been her usual Rainbow self when she said it, but I could tell that she was holding something back. In a way, she's got a bigger heart for her home than I do. I admire that."

He grew back to his regular size and walked backwards as she continued to trot.

"Rarity has her own business appearance to maintain," she kept speaking, "If it were any other day, she would have seen to the external beauty herself. As for Pinkie Pie, well... I'll chalk it up to wanting some extra energy to help raise the spirits of her fellow ponies quicker."

"So basically at the end of the month plus one week, you're saying that...?" Discord prompted, not entirely sure if he was getting this.

"I saw the temptations you have on a regular basis, but I just don't see the appeal for me," said Applejack with finality. "So, thanks but no thanks, big guy. As for right now, I got to get to the market."

For a long time, Discord just stood there with wide eyes, watching her trot away.

...

"As I learn more and more what it means to be pony," he said thoughtfully, "I am more convinced that I would never make a good one."

Author's Note

Well, that was rather anticlimactic.
What do you care, Discord? You consider any attention good attention.
Your truth hurts, Yuki.
...
*shakes head* This is getting weird.