With an aunt like this...

by Firestreak2018

Rating: everyone
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Cake Twins, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Random
Length: 1835

School's starting. Pinkie Pie's distracting

Pumpkin and Pound cake are starting the school term once again, but the trouble is that they’ve forgotten almost everything that they had studied for the past year! However, even as they try to quickly learn everything once again, a certain pink pony’s interference is making re-learning rather hard…

Well… if learning includes logic, anyway.

Submission for weekly contest #17: School

Published 2015-02-01 05:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-02-01 05:30:02 UTC

Screw Newton's third law

Author's Note

Time taken to written: awhile
Purpose for writing: Why not? Bored! :pinkiehappy:

Anyway... Enjoy the fic! I just love it when Pinkie trolls! :pinkiehappy:

Sad that I can't write that perfectly, tho... Oh well!

Screw Newton's third law

Pound cake stared at the clock, feeling a sense of dread fill his very being as he looked at the book lying open before him. His eyes scanned the text of the book as his tongue stuck out in concentration. It took all of his will to not give up as he tried to jog his memory with every word that his mind registered.

C’mon… I’ve learned this at the start of the year! Pound thought to himself as he tried to recall the words before him. Newton’s third law…? What in the hay is that?! Throwing his hooves up as his will finally snapped, he jumped out of his seat with a frustrated yell, and landed right on the bed that his sister was studying on.

"Trouble studying, Pound?" Pumpkin asked calmly, as if she didn't take notice of him being that close to landing on her painfully. "Well don't worry. It's not like I can remember everything too." Pumpkin may have appeared to be much more calm and composed than Pound, but in truth, the both of them were just as anxious as the other. Tomorrow was the start of the first school term of the year, but to their horror, a month of neglecting their textbooks saw them with their knowledge returned to their teacher. It wasn’t a pleasant epiphany when they woke up together this morning to see their calendar, they would tell you that for sure.

"Yeah? Well at least you can remember something." Pound muttered, silently wishing that he was a filly for the reason that fillies seemed to be smarter than colts. "If only Aunt Pinkie Pie could actually help teach us all this stuff. I'm sure she has a song stashed up somewhere to teach us what we need to remember. She has a song for almost everythi-”

“Did somepony call for Aunt Pinkie Pie?!” Despite having lived with her ever since he was born, Pound Cake still wasn’t used to the way that Pinkie could just appear out of nowhere. Other than the undignified filly-like scream that he let out which was accompanied by a heart attack, Pound was fine enough with Pinkie’s sudden appearance from the textbook he was studying from. Pinkie quickly gave both of the twins a hug before removing herself from within the pages, giving Pound a stray thought that he shouldn’t even be learning Physics when ponies like Pinkie Pie existed.

Never mind… He thought to himself as he struggled to breathe from the bone-crushing hug he was receiving. Who says that whatever we learned has to be applied in real life?

“Hello there, you two!” Pinkie bounced around them, causing Pumpkin’s book, much to her annoyance, to close as it reacted to the force of the bouncing bed. “Are you two studying now?”

“Well… We were studying before you came around and knocked my book shut.” Pumpkin sighed out loud in defeat as she rolled to lie down on her brother (not that he really minded, anyway). “We're just having some trouble cramming in some last minute stuff, and Pound here was wondering if you had a song to help us recall everything Miss Cheerilee taught.”

“Ooh Ooh! I could totally teach you guys! I have songs for almost everything!" Pinkie cheered as she grabbed on to the twins. Before they could even react, Pinkie had rushed them down to the kitchen at such a high speed that the Twins' manes were blown to face one side. As if her quick traveling was nothing extraordinary, Pinkie continued. "So... What do you guys wanna learn first? Math? Science? Ooh! How about baking?!"

"Baking?" Pound looked at his sister to confirm his suspicions. "I don't think we're learning baking in school, Aunt Pinkie."

“Well of course you don’t, silly!” Pinkie Pie giggled as she bounced past a shelf, her tail snatching various ingredients from it as if it had a mind of its own. “But you can’t forget how to bake! Can you imagine life without baking?! Who’d then take over the bakery when your parents retire?!” The twins shared an uncertain look as each of them had a chef hat plopped on to their heads. “Now, I’ll have no whining! You gotta learn how to bake!” Pumpkin gave an exasperated sigh as she turned back to head for her room, but she was unfortunately spun back around by the excitable Pink mare. “Just where do you think you’re going, missy?”

“I need to get back to studying, aunt Pinks.” Pumpkin rolled her eyes as she tried to turn around again, only to have the same results of facing the kitchen once again. “C’mon! We don’t have all day to study, Pinkie! Baking’s gonna cut away all our time! I don't know about Pound, but I don't want extra lessons!”

“No it won’t!” Pinkie shot back as she placed Pumpkin by a weighing scale and measuring cup, followed by Pound being placed by a full mixing bowl. “Baking can help you two study too, don’t you know? Look at the scale and the cup! You need math to get the measurements right! And we can always use the treats we make to make studying more fun!”

“I dunno, Pinkie…” Pound muttered, although his hooves were already busy with mixing the batter in the bowl. “Isn’t it better if we just go to the library and have princess Twilight teach us some-” Before Pound could properly finish his words, he found a cookie stuffed in his muzzle to stop him from protesting any further. As soon as his surprise wore off, he looked to see that Pumpkin had suffered the same fate, and that Pinkie was already bouncing about with a stack of cookies nearby.

“I’ll have none of that, you two! You know that the library is soooo BORING! I mean, who even wants to study where it’s all quiet and un-fun?! Aunt Pinkie Pie will teach you all you need to know!” Out of nowhere, a tune began playing, with Pinkie Pie bobbing to the melody of the song that the twins knew all too well. “Come on, everypony! It’s time to learn math by singing… CUPCAKES!”

“All you have to do is take a cup of flour,
Add it to the mix!
Now just take a little something sweet, not sour!
A bit of salt, just a pinch!”

“This is way too simple for me to learn…” Pumpkin groaned as she watched Pinkie bounce around with ingredients held by her mane and tail. The way she sang told the twins that she was more immersed in singing than really teaching them, but since she kept bouncing around the place instead of having her back turned on them, escape was more or less impossible. “C’mon, Pound. Even you know measurements are only a tiny part of maths, and it’s not like we’re total idiots!”

“Baking these treats is such a cinch!
Add a teaspoon of vanilla!
Add a little more, and you count to four,
and you never get your fill of…"

"Yeah... It's really easy, but hey: I know aunt Pinkie has our best interests in mind! She'll keep her promise of teaching us!" Pound offered, although he was slightly unsure of his words.

"Cupcakes! So sweet and tasty!
Cupcakes! Don’t be too hasty!
Cupcakes! Cupcakes! Cupcakes! CUPCAKES!”

Try as they might, the twins were obviously fighting a losing battle as the minutes wore on. Every note that left Pinkie Pie’s muzzle weakened their resolve to actually understand the lessons behind every song, and by the first hour, the twins had subconsciously surrendered themselves to another day of baking with Pinkie Pie.

Song after song, hour after hour… By the time Celestia’s sun set, Pinkie’s songs were totally unrelated to the twins’ morning objectives. They were enjoying themselves immensely, not even giving a second glance to their open textbooks as they sang their night away.

Song after song, hour after hour… The time finally came for the twins to be put to bed, and falling asleep was no challenge for them at all as thoughts of studying to avoid their impending doom were eliminated by the joy and the laughter of a certain pink pony.

If you actually looked into Pound’s mind, you probably would not know whether to laugh in amusement or to cry in pity at the last thought that ran through his mind before he fell asleep: Yep! Screw Newton’s third law. Aunt Pinkie proves it doesn’t exist...

First day of school… A day that Miss Cheerilee looked forward to because she could get back to her passion of teaching young foals again, but for many of the foals that attended Ponyville Elementary, the feeling really was not mutual. The first day of school was when you’d see the most number of faces that reflected sorrow that the holidays had ended, anxiety because of unfinished holiday assignments, and other negative expressions in general, really. For a certain pair of twins, anxiety was the main issue for them, although one of them seemed more jumpy than the other one.

Allowing his wings to take over the role of his hooves, Pound Cake slapped his forehooves on his face as he let out an anguished moan. “Oh my Celestia… Of all ponies, why did we have her as our aunt? Why?!” Pound couldn’t help but feel like a prisoner being led to a guillotine with every inch he covered towards the schoolhouse. He wasn’t going to look forward to the remedial classes he would get if Miss Cheerilee found out that he had forgotten everything that she had taught him last year.

“Welp, doesn’t really help if you’re there complaining, is it?” Pumpkin Cake nonchalantly responded as she trotted on, her face buried in her textbook. “If you are even using your brain, you would be thinking about cramming some last-minute info into your mind instead of surrendering to your doom.” Pound seemed to deflate at that, hovering to his sister’s side to read the text. Somehow, the terms in this book seemed so familiar, yet they were so alien because they no longer remembered what those words stood for. A few minutes later saw them standing at the entrance of the schoolhouse with ten minutes to spare, and the twins walked in silently. That is, before Pound decided to speak up.

“Say… Do you even remember what those terms stood for?” Pumpkin shook her head and simply gave him an answer.

“Nope.”

“Not even one?”

“Nope.”

As if her answer was the harbinger of doomsday, both Pound and Pumpkin let out a defeated sigh as they slumped against the table with the same thought in their mind.

“Ugh… I really hate Pinkie Pie sometimes...”