Also, a metaphor about the true meaning of Christmas or something.
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Some Trade-Offs Mean More Than Others
Also, a metaphor about the true meaning of Christmas or something.
Also, a metaphor about the true meaning of Christmas or something.
“Argh, it’s freezing out here!”
Rarity scoffed, rolling her eyes. “Rainbow Dash, if you’re going to refuse to wear the scarf I brought for you, could you please at least have the decency to stop whining about the cold?”
Rainbow Dash spun around, growling. “Maybe if you hadn’t made the scarf so obnoxiously pink! How can you possibly expect me to wear something like that?”
“For the last time, Rainbow,” Applejack said, mimicking Rarity’s style of speech, “It was a gift for Pinkie Pie. I packed it by accident.” Looking up from her map and switching back to her usual drawl, she added, “Come on, you two, I think we’re here.”
The trio stopped to check their surroundings, clustering to one side of the walkway to move aside for traffic. This close to Hearth's Warming Eve, the streets of Manehattan were jam-packed with pedestrians frantically dashing from store to store. The soft glow of the street lamps and the falling snow created a muffled nighttime atmosphere, starkly contrasted by the traffic and chaos such poor weather tended to cause in the streets.
Rarity glanced over at Applejack as she folded up the map and let out a sigh. “Could we look any more like tourists? At least try not to gawk at the buildings so much.”
“Blah blah blah,” Rainbow Dash said, stretching out her wings and shaking some of the snow off of her coat. “Let’s get this over with already. Which store is mine?”
It had taken the better part of the day to reach the heart of Manehatten Square. Each massive skyscraper surrounding them housed a department store or a mall that alone could probably fit most of Ponyville inside of it, and that was only the first couple of floors.
Rarity levitated a pocket watch out of her saddlebags and opened it, frowning. “Well, despite running a bit late, we’ve still got about two hours until closing time. Not what I was hoping for with these crowds, but it should still be possible for us to get in, get what we came for, and get out.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Applejack said, peering through the streets until she finally spotted what she was looking for. “That’s the cafe where I’m supposed to be meeting Babs. What do ya say we all meet back there when we’re done?”
Rarity nodded, pointing to one of the larger buildings. “That’s the store I believe you wanted, Rainbow Dash. I shall see you all in two hours, give or take.”
Rainbow Dash flew into the air, calling out behind her as she sped towards the shop. “I bet it takes me thirty minutes, tops!”
“It ain’t a race,” Applejack said, rubbing at her temple with a forehoof. “But yeah, two hours.”
The shopping crowds two days before Hearth’s Warming Eve couldn’t really be that bad, right?
Rainbow Dash burst through the doors to Hay-Mart, and didn’t even stop to acknowledge the elderly pony that sat and greeted everypony. The store was packed, but she was a mare on a mission, and Pegasi had a pretty big lead when it came to shopping.
She flew straight up to the rafters of the store and took the time to survey the aisles down below until she finally spotted exactly what she was looking for, prominently displayed on a giant dais, with what looked like dozens of models still in stock.
The Super Mega Ultra Scooter 5000.
Not only was she going to get the perfect present for Scootaloo, but it would be a total piece of cake.
Rarity crested the top of the escalator and stepped off, distancing herself from the other shoppers as she made her way through the high class department store.
Getting the perfect gift for Sweetie Belle was always a bit of a chore. Her usual staples of elaborate dresses or rare and valuable jewelry were wasted on the filly. Not just because Sweetie Belle’s interest in such things tended to rapidly decay, but also because Rarity trafficked in them so often that, as a gift, they became quite mundane.
No. It had taken a lot for Rarity to learn just what made her little sister happy, but she was finally convinced that she had it this time. Sweetie Belle loved a spectacle, and she loved spending quality time with her big sister.
So Rarity had traveled halfway across Equestria to pick up tickets for the hit musical Marespray. There was a booth in this department store that was supposed to be selling a limited run of tickets tonight and tonight only, and…
As Rarity rounded the corner, her eyes lit up, and she practically squealed with delight. Not only was the booth where it was supposed to be and still open, but there was an attendant on duty, and there wasn’t even a line! Maybe this would be her lucky day after all.
“Heya Babs. It’s good to see ya,” Applejack said, pulling out of the hug and reaching a hoof down to ruffle Babs’ mane.
“Heh. Good to see youse too, AJ,” Babs said, grinning. “So, what do ya have in mind?”
“Well, we’re gonna get yer favorite cousin, Apple Bloom, a Hearth’s Warming gift. Ain’t just any gift neither.” Reaching into her saddlebags, Applejack pulled out a folded piece of paper and laid it out flat on the table. “Now, I know you ain’t old enough to remember Grandpa Orange—he’s been gone for a while, but apparently he had an old storage locker hidden somewhere in Manehatten. Ownership of it passed to the city recently, and they cracked it open. They’re holding an estate sale tonight in that mall right over yonder. Most of it’s probably junk, but I’m hoping we can find some stuff that used to belong to ‘Ma. I think it’d mean a lot to her.”
Babs Seed’s eyes lit up, and she stared at the building across the street. “Wow, that’s pretty cool. I ain’t never gotten a present like that before. Or even been to that mall. Should be a blast, AJ. Thanks a bunch.”
Applejack chuckled, then finished her drink. “Alright, well, we ain’t got much time, so let’s get going!”
Rainbow Dash shouldered the large box onto her back, taking a moment to carefully balance it. All of Rarity’s fearmongering about this big ticket item being out of stock by the time they got there was totally wasted. There were plenty, and all she had to do was make it to the checkout.
Sure, she wouldn’t be able to fly while carrying it, and the crowds were pretty thick, but it wasn’t that far. It was just a matter of—
Something slammed into Rainbow Dash from the side, unbalancing her and causing her to topple over sideways.
“Ah, what the heck! Watch where you’re going!” Rainbow Dash shouted, quickly righting herself and looking around for the offender.
“Ah, sorry about that, lady,” a young pegasus colt said with a thick accent. “Weren’t lookin’ where I was going. Won’t happen again, no worries.”
Before Rainbow Dash could even give the kid an earful, he was already gone, taking off into the air and zipping around into another aisle.
Grumbling, she shouldered the box once again and started making her way carefully through the crowd.
Maybe she should have grabbed a cart.
“I’ll take two tickets to Marespray, please!” Rarity announced as she stepped up to the booth.
“Mmm, yes.” The unicorn manning the booth adjusted his monocle slightly, then levitated out a small token. “Here’s your number. When we reach your number, we will call for you three times. If you do not arrive, then your spot in line is forfeit.”
Rarity, blinked, then stared down at the token. It was engraved with the number one-hundred and fifty six. “Line? But…”
“Marespray is a very popular musical,” the unicorn said, sniffing haughtily. “But lines in a store such as this take up a lot of space and are rather uncultured. You may have a seat over there.”
She followed his gaze to the right, where a large lounge area was set up, and dozens of ponies sat on various cushions, all looking somewhat miserable.
“... I see. Thank you.”
Well, it only made sense that she would have to wait. Still, at least she could do it in relative comfort, and if she had a spot, it meant they probably weren’t sold out yet.
“Number forty three, please come forward.”
“Wow… there sure is a lot of cool stuff here,” Babs Seed said, eyes wide as she tried to take in every storefront at once.
Applejack chuckled, shaking her head. “Could fit half of Sweet Apple Acres in a building like this. Seems a bit excessive if ya ask me.”
“Woah, no way!” Babs Seed said, stopping in front of a large sign. “It says we can meet Santa Hooves! What the heck is he doing in a place like this?”
Applejack raised an eyebrow. “It ain’t actually…” She hesitated, noticing how excited the filly seemed to be at the idea. “Dunno if it’s actually Santa Hooves himself, but it’s probably at least one of his helpers.”
Babs Seed blushed, dragging one hoof across the ground. “I don’t suppose, uh, we could stop to see him? If that’s actually him, maybe I got some stuff I wanna talk to him about.”
“Well…” Applejack looked around the mall for a clock, but couldn’t find any in her line of sight. Still, it hadn’t been that long, and there was probably plenty of time for a small detour. “Yeah, alright. Shouldn’t be too much of a problem.”
“That’ll be two hundred and ninety-nine bits, Miss.”
Rainbow Dash puffed out her chest, then began to dig through her saddlebags. “Don’t worry, I’ve got your money right here.”
It hadn’t been easy, but she had been saving for months to afford it. Still, it would be totally worth it in the end; Scootaloo was going to absolutely flip out when she saw her present. And then probably do some actual, literal flips later, because if the ads were anything to go by, this scooter was enchanted with real cloud-magic.
“Could you hurry it up?” the pony standing behind her in line said, tapping her hoof impatiently.
“Geez, hold your horses,” Rainbow Dash said, rolling her eyes. “I’ve just got to…” She frowned, then slipped her saddlebags off and began rooting through them in earnest. “I know I put it in here somewhere…”
That couldn’t be right. She had counted every coin specifically, carefully bagged them and placed them right here in her saddlebags. She wasn’t even able to find her spare change for general expenses while in Manehatten. What the heck was going on?
“Miss, if you can’t pay, please move along, there are customers waiting.”
“Just give me a second. It has to be somewhere. I definitely…”
Rainbow Dash’s eyes went wide, and her heart skipped a beat, feeling like she had just gotten kicked in the chest.
“That stupid kid!”
“Oh, and it is just absolutely fabulous. I’ve already seen Fiddler on the Hoof twice now! You should totally check it out if you find yourself in Manehatten again.”
Rarity nodded absentmindedly as the mare sitting next to her continued on with her conversation. Normally she would be more than glad to discuss musicals with anypony, even a complete stranger, but certain other problems were pulling at her attention.
“Excuse me, darling,” Rarity said, standing up and fanning herself with a hoof for a second. “But I’m afraid I need to excuse myself to the little filly’s room.”
She really shouldn’t have indulged in that extra cafe au lait on the train.
“Oh, sure thing.” The mare frowned, then raised an eyebrow. “Aren’t you worried they’re going to call your number?”
Rarity shook her head, smiling. “No worries. I’ve been counting. At the rate it’s been moving, there’s maybe ten, fifteen minutes before my number comes up. I won’t be long.”
Applejack tapped her hoof, growing increasingly unable to hold back her frustration. The line had moved excruciatingly slow, and while they were finally next in line, the chubby little colt who was currently talking with Santa had already asked for enough stuff to fill an entire barn, and then some.
The long wait hadn’t done anything to dampen Babs’ spirits though. The filly seemed almost nervous about it.
“Next,” the attendant finally said, lifting the divider.
Babs Seed approached slowly. “Uh… hey there, Santa. ‘Sup?”
The elderly stallion smiled down at her with warm eyes. “I’m quite well little miss, thanks for asking. Tell me, have you been a good little pony this year?”
“Uh, yeah, about that,” Babs Seed said, kicking at the ground and looking away. “Earlier this year, I was kind of a bit of a jerk. Things weren’t great for me, so I just took it out on others. But my cousins helped me see where I was doin’ wrong, and now I’ve been doing my best to turn over a new leaf. Does that still count?”
“I see, I see.” Santa Hooves said, nodding solemnly. “You can never erase the things you’ve done, but if you do your best to make it up to those you’ve hurt, and strive to bring friendship and light into the world, then yes, you are a good pony. So tell me, how can I help you?”
“Cool, cool,” Babs said, looking back and forth. “Listen, it’s a bit, uh, private, so is it cool if I just whisper it to ya?”
Santa Hooves nodded, and Babs leaned in to whisper something into his ear. As she did, his expression slowly fell, until he let out a long sigh, shaking his head.
“I’m sorry, little one, but I’m afraid that isn’t something I can do for you. Ponies’ hearts are their own, and they’re free to make their own decisions in life, no matter how much you dislike them.”
“I… I see,” Babs mumbled, sitting down next to Santa. “It’s cool, I kind of figured that was the answer anyway. Just wanted to check. If I can ask something else, then…” Babs spared a quick glance towards Applejack, then leaned in to whisper again.
Santa Hooves chuckled, a low deep rumble. “Now that, young miss, is something I think I can do.”
“There you are.”
Rainbow Dash dropped from from her perch in the rafters and dove with the grace of a falcon towards her target.
She landed directly in front of the pegasus colt from earlier as he skulked through the aisles, no doubt looking for other marks.
“Just give it back, kid, and we won’t have any problems,” Rainbow Dash growled, spreading her wings wide.
The kid’s eyes went wide and he took a step back. “Uh… I ain’t got any idea what you’re talking about, lady!”
“My wallet. Look, I know you snatched it earlier. I worked really hard for those bits.” There was a flash of fear in the colt’s eyes at her words, and she knew that she wasn’t just mistaken.
“Listen, lady,” he said, taking a few more steps back. “I think there’s been some kind of misunderstanding, and…” The kid’s eyes suddenly grew wider, and his lip began to tremble as he stared past Rainbow Dash at something behind her. “S-security, help! This strange mare is trying to foalnap me!”
Rainbow Dash swore under her breath, then spun around. “This little punk stole my wallet, and…”
There was nopony there.
When she turned back around, the kid was already gone, flying up towards the ceiling.
Rainbow Dash snorted. “You really think you can escape from me? You’ve got guts, kid, I’ll give you that.”
The chase was on. Through the open air, it took less than a second before Rainbow Dash was nipping at his tail, but as soon as he reached the rafters, the dynamic changed. He was smaller and had a nimble agility that allowed him to dodge effortlessly between the beams, whereas her larger bulk and wingspan stole away most of her edge.
“Come on, just give it back!” Rainbow Dash yelled through gritted teeth. “It’s freaking Hearth’s Warming Eve for crying out loud. Who goes around picking pockets at this time of year?”
“Maybe if you didn’t want it stolen you tourists shouldn’t be so easy to steal from,” the kid said, snickering under his breath as he weaved through the rafters.
They were matching pace, but Rainbow Dash could still control the battlefield, and she was quickly boxing him into a corner. There wasn’t anywhere he could escape, and if he tried to dive out of the rafters, she’d tackle him out of the air in a second.
The kid turned to her, grinned, then slipped out one of the small ventilation windows in the upper wall.
“Oh come on!” Rainbow Dash roared, pounding her hoof against the wall. The window was too tiny for her to squeeze through, but he had managed it just fine.
He hovered just outside and held up her stolen wallet, sticking his tongue out. Rainbow Dash lunged, stretching her hoof as far through the window as she could manage, but he dodged just out of reach then dropped, laughing all the way.
Rarity stared at herself in the bathroom mirror, taking a few seconds to straighten her hair with her magic.
She had expected long lines, but she must have lucked out, because this particular facility was completely empty. And so she still had a good eight minutes to get back and get a pair of tickets that she was sure would make Sweetie Belle’s eyes light up with the best kind of childish wonder and excitement.
As she made her way to the door, her ears picked up something. There was somepony sobbing softly in one of the bathroom stalls.
Rarity hesitated for only the briefest of moments before she turned back around and lightly knocked on the door. “Excuse me, dear. Are you alright in there?”
There were several more sobs, before a young voice finally squeaked out, “N-no…”
“Do you want to talk about it? I’m more than happy to listen. But this bathroom actually has a wonderful lounge in it, so you don’t just have to sit on the toilet if you don’t want to.”
There was a pause followed by some sniffling, and the stall slowly opened, revealing a gangly teenaged mare, mascara running down her face.
“There there,” Rarity muttered, leading her over to the couch and sitting her down. “Now, tell me what happened?”
She sniffed several more times, before succumbing to a fresh burst of tears. “My c-coltfriend just d-dumped me! We were going to s-spend the holidays together! W-who does that?”
She could almost swore she heard her number being called in the distance, but she put those thoughts firmly out of her mind as she did her best to comfort the heartbroken filly in front of her.
“So, what did ya ask him about anyway?” Applejack asked as they made their way through the mall.
Babs Seed rolled her eyes. “Geez, I said it was private and all. Give it a rest, will ya?”
Applejack chuckled. They still had at least about an hour to get to the estate sale, so not too much ground had been lost.
“...Thanks, though,” Babs Seed mumbled. “For taking me with you and hanging out and stuff.”
“It ain’t no problem, Babs,” Applejack said. “We’re family, ain’t we?”
Babs Seed shrugged, looking uncomfortable. “Yeah, but you know how my mom and dad are. Especially this time of year. They’re too busy fighting over who gets me for the holidays to ever actually do anything with me.”
Applejack frowned, slowing her step. “Yeah, I guess there’s that. Ain’t always an easy situation. But if you ever need anything from me, lemme know, and I’ll do the best I can.”
“Heh.” Babs Seed grinned, then threw her forelegs around Applejack’s neck in a quick hug. “You’re the best, cuz.”
Lickity Split touched down on his loft, the adrenaline from the earlier chase beginning to fade. “I’m back! And we’re gonna eat like princesses tonight!”
Before he could even receive a response from inside, something slammed into him with the force of a speeding carriage, rolling him head over hooves until he found himself pinned. The mare he had robbed earlier stood over him, his wings securely under her hooves. Her face was shadowed by the darkness of the alley, but her eyes shone with the sort of murderous glint he had always imagined belonging to the monsters in old stories.
***
Rainbow Dash looked down at the whimpering colt she held pinned beneath her, his previous bravado having given way to sheer panic. “I don’t give up that easily. Just give me my money back, kid. Seriously, that’s all I want.”
“I…” the colt mumbled, trembling as his eyes darted back and forth. “Fine, I’ll give it back already! Just don’t—”
Something tugged lightly at Rainbow Dash’s tail, and she turned to see an even younger pegasus filly yanking on her tail with her teeth.
“Leave my brother alone!” the little filly growled pathetically around the strands of rainbow tail held firmly in her jaws.
“Isabelle, what do you think you’re doing!?” The kid yelled as he feebly struggled against the weight of the older mare. “Go hide!”
“I’m just trying to…” Rainbow Dash grumbled, flicking her tail. The motion threw the filly off of her, but she ended up taking some of her hairs with her and Rainbow Dash yelped in surprise, reaching back to rub at her flank.
The motion let the kid wriggle free, and he rolled out from under her, then positioned himself in front of his little sister, wings flared out, trying to make himself as intimidating as he could.
Rainbow Dash let out a sigh and rubbed at her temple. “Again, just want my money back.”
The filly pursed her lips and nudged her brother from behind, a slight whine present. “Don’t tell me you’ve been stealing again? One of these times you’re not going to come back…”
“What choice do I have!?” he snapped, not taking his eyes off of Rainbow Dash.
“Wait…” Rainbow Dash frowned, then turned to take a better stock of her surroundings. There was a large shipping crate up here furnished with blankets, pillows, and all manner of knick knacks and personal possessions. “Do you kids freaking live here by yourselves?”
“Yeah? What about it?”
Rainbow Dash bit her lip, and found her hooves trembling. It wasn’t fair. All she wanted to do was make a filly who looked up to her happy. There wasn’t anything wrong with that, right?
“Damnit!” Rainbow Dash roared, slamming her hoof into the side of the crate with a loud metallic clang, causing both kids to jump backwards. “Freaking homeless kids, of all things? Come on!” Then she took off straight up into the air, leaving her wallet behind.
Rarity made her way back towards the booth. The trials and tribulations of young love were always tumultuous, but there was a certain charm to them that she could never resist. It was why it was the focus of so many great epics, after all.
But real life was seldom so over the top and dramatic. Some ponies found love, some merely got hurt and would have to grow stronger as they picked up the pieces.
Still, not all hope for her own situation was lost. She had missed her number, but there should still be a chance for her to pick up another number and wait again.
As she approached the attendant, he held up a hoof, shaking his head. “I’m afraid no new numbers are being given out, Miss. This booth will be closing in fifteen minutes.”
Rarity blinked. “Closing? That’s not right. It’s not even six yet. The store doesn’t close till seven.”
The attendant sniffed, then levitated up a pocket watch, showing it to her. “I’m afraid whatever clock you’re running off of is wrong. It is fifteen minutes to seven.”
“That can’t be…”
Icy horror sunk into Rarity’s heart as she realized that she had forgotten to account for the one hour time difference between Ponyville and Manehattan. Which meant that not only had her mistake ruined her own chances, but that Rainbow Dash and Applejack…
Applejack and Babs stood side by side as they watched the gates being lowered over the estate sale. It looked like it had mostly been cleaned out, anyway.
“...I’m real sorry,” Babs Seed mumbled, looking away. “I didn’t think it’d take so long.”
“It’s fine,” Applejack said, sighing. “Sometimes things just don’t work out the way you’re hoping. Come on, it’s getting late. You should be getting home.”
They walked together in silence for some time until Babs suddenly blurted out, “I think they do.”
“What’s that now?”
“I think things do work out the way you're hoping. Maybe not right away, but eventually they will. All that stuff about karma, y’know?”
Applejack shrugged. “Guess you could be right, but we’ll have to wait and see.”
The trio sat around a table in the cafe, all of them looking generally miserable.
“I'm guessing from the fact that y‘all look so glum,” Applejack said, idly stirring her straw through her drink, “that it didn’t work out for you two either.”
Rainbow Dash just groaned and slammed her head into the table.
“It’s… not the end of the world, right?” Rarity asked, her voice a little higher pitched than normal. “I mean, sure, it’s not the perfect gift for Sweetie Belle given at the perfect time, but there will be other occasions for me to get musical tickets. As for Hearth’s Warming Eve, well, I can think of a lot of toys she’d really enjoy... even if she’d get bored with them after a month.”
Applejack chuckled ruefully. “Apple Bloom’s much the same. Probably would like a good toy better than some sentimental garbage anyway. She’s still just a kid, after all. It’s what we get for trying to do this all at the last minute.”
Rainbow Dash groaned again, slamming her head into the table several more times.
“To a good party!”
Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash raised their glasses of eggnog and clinked them together.
Scootaloo tore into her wrapping paper, ripping open the box with a frenzy.
“See? It wasn’t so bad,” Rarity said, smiling. “I mean, really. Snow outside, a warm fire inside. Friends, family, good food, good drink. That’s what this holiday is really all about, right?”
“No way!” Scootaloo cried out, lifting up a light blue helmet with Rainbow Dash’s cutie mark. “This is totally awesome!”
Applejack raised an eyebrow. “Seriously? You just got her a ‘you’ helmet?”
Rainbow Dash shrugged, grinning. “What could possible be cooler?”
Scootaloo frowned, turning it around in her hooves. “How come the cutie mark is only on one side?”
“Because,” Rainbow Dash said, ruffling Scootaloo’s hair with a hoof, “whenever you get your cutie mark, we’ll have it emblazoned on the other side.”
“Wow…” Scootaloo mumbled. Her eyes were wide and glistening with unshed tears. She threw herself at Rainbow Dash, wrapping her forelegs around her in a tight hug.“You’re the best!”
“I know, I know.”
Rarity let out a long sigh. “I almost feel like we’re getting shown up here.”
Apple Bloom pulled out a small letter from beneath the tree, holding it in her teeth. “Hey, what’s this one here? It’s addressed to the three of you.”
Applejack frowned, taking the letter. Like her sister had said, it was addressed to ‘Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity’.
“Doesn’t say who it’s from,” Applejack mumbled, opening the letter and unfolding the paper. The others both leaned in to read over her shoulder.
“Dear Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity.
I hope you and your families are all having a wonderful Hearth’s Warming Eve.
This is normally the part where I explicitly reiterate the moral lesson you all learned from your shopping experience the other day in Manehattan, but I won’t patronize you. You’re all smart ponies. You know exactly what you did, why you did it, and you’d do it again without a moment’s hesitation. You’re all shining examples of ponykind.
Sometimes, life doesn’t work out the way we want it to. Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we just don’t end up getting what we want, but sometimes we do. Sometimes all it takes is a kind word, a generous donation, or simple company to set things on the right path once again.
And if you three can accomplish such feats without even batting an eye, surely an old stallion like myself can lift a hoof now and again?
Your friend,
S.H.
P.S. The ponies you helped will be fine.
P.P.S. Check the barn.
The three older sisters turned to look at each other, then back at the letter several times, before they quickly grabbed their scarves and headed out the door.
“Hey, where are you going?” Sweetie Belle asked, jumping up to try and see the letter. “What’d it say? Wait up!”
***
“Well, I’ll be,” Applejack mumbled, taking off her hat and resting it over her heart.
There was a stack of presents in the center of the barn reaching up to the ceiling. Some of them, she knew in her heart, were the presents they had already tried and failed to get, but the extras? Well, they’d just have to open them and find out.
Author's Note
Merry ~~Christmas~~ Hearth's Warming Eve everyone! It's officially December so I can finally post this.
I actually wrote this for the Febuary 2015 writeoff event "Closing Time." But I've been sitting on it this entire time because I figured it'd be more appropriate around the holidays.
And, obviously, written before the CMC got their cutie marks. Oh well!
Have a jolly good time this winter, good luck with all that shopping nonsense.
Thanks to Kalan, R5h, and FDA Approved for editing. Coverart by Lumineko, used with permission.
