Fluttershy hummed to herself as she pushed the vase into the center of her kitchen table, reaching up with one hoof to adjust the roses inside before leaning back to admire her handiwork.
“What do you think, Angel?” she asked, earning a noncommittal shrug from the rabbit.
“Hmm… yes. It could use more roses.” Fluttershy smiled as she walked over to her refrigerator, reaching past her meticulously crafted salads to pull the last two blooms out from the back. Grasping them in her mouth, she walked over to the vase and carefully placed them alongside their fellows. “There. Doesn’t that look better?”
Angel shrugged again.
“Well, I think it looks lovely.” Fluttershy nodded to herself. “Now, Angel, I’m going to need you to go outside when Rarity gets here and sleep in your rabbit hutch.”
Angel narrowed his eyes, crossing his arms across his chest.
“Oh, I know. But this time will be different, I promise.”
Angel thumped his foot on the floor.
“I know I said that last time,” Fluttershy said, her ears falling.
Angel glowered.
“And the time before that! But I really mean it this time. Promise.”
A sharp rap at the door brought Fluttershy’s head back up from the floor.
“She’s here! Please, Angel.”
Angel sighed before hopping towards the back door, shooting one last look back over his shoulder at Fluttershy before leaving the cottage.
“Coming!” Fluttershy called, trotting over to the front door and pulling it open to reveal a morose-looking white unicorn who did her best to smile at the beaming pegasus.
“Hello, Fluttershy.”
“Oh, you poor dear! Come in and make yourself comfortable; it will just be a minute.”
“Thank you,” Rarity said, trudging into the house as Fluttershy rapidly retreated to the kitchen, only to quickly re-emerge with a small wrapped box.
“Here,” she said, pressing the small package into Rarity’s hooves before leaning over to give her a peck on the cheek.
“What is this?” Rarity asked, blinking as her horn lit up to bring the small package up in front of her face.
“Well… I thought you were supposed to give chocolates to your marefriend on your anniversary.” Fluttershy waved one wing towards the table. “And look, fresh roses! They’re Imperials, your favorite!”
Rarity smiled wanly as she carefully set the box down next to the vase. “Thank you, darling.”
Fluttershy wrapped the other mare in her hooves, draping her wings around her sides. “I’m sorry you had a bad day, but don’t you worry, I’ll make everything better.”
Rarity stiffened. “Fluttershy…”
“Mmm?” Fluttershy leaned against the unicorn. “What is it?”
“We need to talk.”
“Oh. Are you sure you wouldn’t like to eat something first?” Fluttershy’s hooves tightened around the other pony. “I made a very nice salad, with cucumbers and—”
“I’m afraid not.”
“Oh. Alright then.” Fluttershy’s hooves lingered on Rarity’s sleek white coat before they fell to the floor, pulling the pegasus away from her lover as they steered her to her seat on the far side of the table. Rarity hesitated for a moment before she followed suit, trudging over to claim her own seat. The rustling of cushions filled the too-quiet cottage as the two ponies sat across from one-another, uncomfortably shifting their weight back and forth in a futile attempt to get comfortable.
“So, uhm, what did you want to talk about?” Fluttershy asked, turning her head to one side as she set her front hooves on the edge of the table.
“Fluttershy, you know what this is about.”
Fluttershy flinched.
“Darling, we’ve been together for a year now. A full year. And it has been wonderful.”
Fluttershy smiled. “Yes, it has been.”
Silence consumed the room as Rarity’s eyes flicked away from Fluttershy, focusing on the cabinets, the refrigerator, anything but the pony sitting across from her. The pegasus’s smile slowly faded, her wings beginning to twitch against her back as the quiet flow of evening air against her windows and the quiet shifting of bodies filled her ears.
Fluttershy licked her lips. “I love you.”
Rarity smiled awkwardly. “I’m afraid love has little to do with what I’m about to do.”
Fluttershy’s wings shot open as she leaned across the table, setting her hooves on the unicorn’s. “No. Rarity, please.”
“Fluttershy, it has been a year now. And while I adore your company, as I always have, I’m afraid the idea of… us… no longer really has much meaning.”
“No, please,” Fluttershy said, shaking her head.
“I’m sorry, Fluttershy. I can’t do this anymore.”
Fluttershy’s eyes shimmered. “Why?”
Rarity sighed heavily. “You know why, darling.”
“But we can fix it, right? We can just go upstairs, and—”
“And what?” Rarity shook her head, her mane falling in front of her eyes before she pulled a hoof free of Fluttershy’s grip to brush it back. “Fluttershy, we’ve tried before; a dozen times, at least. It isn’t going to work.”
“What if I… what if I said I wanted to?”
Rarity smiled – really smiled – as she leaned forward, cupping Fluttershy’s cheek in her hoof. “I know you want to. Or… that you think you do.” Rarity’s hoof fell to the table with a quiet thud. “But I don’t. Not anymore.”
“What?” Fluttershy crumpled back onto her cushion, her wings flared out behind her.
“Fluttershy, you have told me you love me. But you never, not even once, have shown any real interest in me.”
“How can you say that?” Fluttershy asked, her voice barely a whisper.
“Because, darling, I can see it. When ponies want someone, they show desire. Passion. Lust. Darling, you’ve never touched me as a lover, not even once. Not without my hoof on yours.”
Fluttershy’s ears drooped.
“And that’s you. How do you think I feel when I try to touch my marefriend and she won’t even look at me?”
Fluttershy wrapped her hooves around her own shoulders. “But…”
Rarity started to rise from her seat before she froze, already half a step around the side of the table before she caught herself. Slowly, she retreated to her cushion, her ears pressed back against her mane. “I can’t tell you how much it hurts.”
“I’m sorry,” Fluttershy whimpered.
“I know you’re sorry.” Rarity said, her eyes falling away from the quivering pegasus back down towards the table. “I’m sorry too. I’m sorry that I thought things would be different. I’m sorry that I thought you wanted me.” She shuddered. “I’m sorry that I wanted you.”
“Don’t say that! Please, don’t say it.”
“But it’s true.” Rarity lifted her eyes to meet Fluttershy’s teary gaze. “When I was walking over here tonight, do you know what I realized?”
Fluttershy shook her head.
“I realized that we were going to have a marvelous dinner, exchange a few kisses… and then that I was going to go home. I was going to go home, Fluttershy. Go home and work on my latest designs for the Vanhoover fashion show next month. Why, I was practically looking forward to it.”
“You don’t have to,” Fluttershy said, lowering her shaking hooves to the table. “You could stay, and—”
“And what? I’ve tried. You’re beautiful, darling, but every time I touch you past your cutie mark, you flinch and try and pull away. I wanted you, but… tonight? I didn’t think about bringing you upstairs to bed. I didn’t think about pinning you to the mattress and making you scream my name. I didn’t even think about holding you in my hooves when I fell asleep, or enjoying a romantic dinner together. I thought about work. I would rather think about work than about spending my time with you. And that isn’t fair to either of us.”
Fluttershy sniffed loudly.
“We’ve tried everything. Alcohol. Romantic walks on the beach. Music.” Rarity shivered. “We’ve tried sleeping together, in the same bed, and waking up looking into one another’s eyes. Baths together. Massages.”
“Romantic dinners…”
Rarity rubbed her eyes with her hooves. “Everything I can think of. I’ve tried going slow. I’ve tried going quickly. You’ve tried, and you looked at me like you didn’t even know where to begin.” Rarity sighed loudly. “No, like you didn’t even want to.”
“I do. Please. I know I haven’t, but I’m sure, if we try again—”
“Fluttershy, last time…” Rarity clenched her eyes shut. “Last time, you told me to tie you to the bed. You told me to keep going, even though I could feel how tense you were. You told me to keep going no matter what you said, no matter how much you cried.”
Rarity swallowed, licking her lips. “I… felt as if I was doing something dirty. No, worse. Something wrong. Like I was hurting you, with every breath I took, every thought I had. Every touch. I couldn’t! Not like that. Not when I knew.”
Fluttershy shuddered.
“It… hasn’t been the same since then. I don’t want to try that again. I don’t want to hurt you anymore.”
“You weren’t.”
“I was,” Rarity said firmly.
Fluttershy shook her head wordlessly.
“I… don’t want that. I don’t want someone who doesn’t want me. I can’t. It’s… evil.”
Fluttershy’s wings pressing in against her back as she slid her hoof across towards Rarity once more. “But, it can be different now, right? We can just try again. Do something else.”
Rarity’s hooves tremored against the table. “It’s worse than that. Can’t you see?” Rarity tilted her head, looking Fluttershy in the eye. “I don’t even want to try anymore. Even if you wanted to, I…” Her shoulders shook. “It felt like rape.”
Fluttershy sucked in her breath. “You would never do such a thing! Don’t think that!”
“I know, darling.” Rarity blinked, her eyes glistening. “But that’s what it was, darling. Would have been, had I kept going.”
“It wasn’t!” Fluttershy said insistently. “I know I was scared, but… please. I just wanted to make you happy.”
“That could never make me happy. Love is a two-way street, darling. I want to make you happy, too. I want you to enjoy it as much as I would. But I can’t. Not like that. Not how I want to.” Rarity shook herself. “Wanted to. It’s over, darling. I… we tried. But I don’t – I can’t love you anymore. Not like this.” She waved her hoof at the flowers. “You’re a dear friend, but—”
“No, please. Don’t say it. Tonight is special. It will be special. I’ll prove it to you. I—” Fluttershy stumbled out of her seat, lurching towards Rarity before she was caught in a blue glow, two hooves and magic blue as the sky holding her at arm’s length.
“You can’t. Even if you wanted to, you can’t.” Rarity smiled, her eyes crinkling as tears dripped down her cheeks, staining her white coat gray with her mascara. “I know you think you love me, and perhaps you do, but I need something more. I need to hold you, to kiss you. To know every inch of your body.” Her shoulders sagged, hooves falling back down to the floor. “And I want you to want me just as much.”
Fluttershy leapt forward, enveloping Rarity in a powerful hug as she rubbed her damp cheek against the unicorn’s. “Please. Just one more night. Just once more. It will be better, I promise.”
Rarity sniffed. “It’s too late. Even if you were ready, I’m not. Not anymore. Not like that.” Rarity’s hooves wrapped around Fluttershy’s shoulders, squeezing tight as the two mares leaned into each other. “I can’t even think about you like that anymore. I love you, but… you’re just a friend to me. A dear, close friend, but nothing more.”
Fluttershy shook her head. “No. You don’t mean that.”
“I do.” Rarity shuddered as she tucked her chin over Fluttershy’s shoulder. “I truly do.”
Fluttershy leaned back then, her hooves sliding off of Rarity’s white coat, one moving up to lift the unicorn’s chin so she could look her in the eye. Tears flowed freely from both ponies’ eyes as they stared at each other for several long moments.
“I’m sorry, Fluttershy,” Rarity said softly.
Fluttershy flung herself forward, mashing her lips against Rarity’s, the pegasus pressing her whole body against the unicorn before she was shoved away.
“No.” Fluttershy shook her head. “No!”
“Please, don’t make this any harder than it already is,” Rarity said, stepping back. “It’s going to be hard, but we’ll still be friends again when you see me around town. That isn’t going to go away.”
Fluttershy stumbled forward. “You don’t have to leave. We don’t have to do anything. We can just talk. Eat. Anything!” The pegasus whimpered. “Anything...”
Rarity turned away. “I should go. You…” She stopped, halfway to the door. “I know it hurts right now, Fluttershy. But this is for the best, truly. I promise. You’ll see.” She smiled weakly as her tears traced the wrinkles in her cheeks. “I promise. Things will be better.”
Fluttershy hung her head, teardrops raining on the floor, half her face hidden behind her mane as she gazed soulfully up at the unicorn. “Rarity, please don’t go.”
“I can’t stay.” Rarity sniffed. “I’m… sorry about dinner. But I couldn’t let this go on one moment longer.”
Fluttershy didn’t reply, her head falling lower, mane cascading around her ears and pooling on the floor below.
“Goodbye.”
As the door clicked shut, Fluttershy fled. Her hooves rattled the floorboards of the house as she raced up the stairs, galloping up to her bedroom and slamming the door loudly before she flung herself on her bed with a loud crunch. Wrapping herself in her hooves as rose petals rained down around her, Fluttershy rocked back and forth, shaking as the love of her life vanished down the road outside.
And she wept.
Author's Note
Thanks to everyone in The Writeoff Association for their feedback on this story!
