The Lizard King

by Bathspounge

Rating: mature
Tags: Slice of Life, Comedy, Random, Human
Length: 1016

The Lizard King, lord of all reptiles, has consensual sex with a Celestia plushie he stole from an Austalian horse DJ.

A human named Cider must pick up the pieces of his life after a night of long drinking. While searching for his things, he finds……… the lizard king.

This is a crackfic.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-02-03 06:27:36 UTC

In Which Celestia is Fucked by a Reptile

It was Monday. Cider, the a DJ and co-owner of the rather popular pony-themed internet radio station Celestia Radio, awoke. He drank an entire bottle of absinthe, it was like drinking napalm, he regretted the decision and went back to bed.

Cider woke back up, and it was Wendsday.

“Wendsday?” he asked as he looked at his iPhone, noticing the date.

Cider looked around his room: his computer was gone, his two monitors were gone.

“The Hell?” he asked as he wandered into his kitchen and returned to drinking. This time with cherry-flavored vodka.

Cider assumed he had gotten up on Tuesday and drunk so much that he forget what he did: specifically why he moved his computer, and where he moved it to. He looked around his house for clues: he found no broken windows or doors, so it was probably either him or one of his friends. He called his drinking friends, as they were likely to do something like that, but none of the ones who were awake knew anything about what happened.

But then, Cider realized that he hadn’t spoken to The LIzard King today.

“The Lizard King . . .” he mumbled. Cider ran to his door, threw it open, and ran to the sewage drainage pipe opening into a canal under a bridge where The Lizard King lived.

“Lizard King!” he called before opening the door to The Lizard King’s bedroom.

And there The Lizard King was, with Cider’s computer and monitors, playing Skyrim on them. Cider knew he should not disturb The Lizard King, lest he incur his reptilian wrath. And then, probably because he died -which is also supported by The Lizard King slamming his fists down on his desk- The Lizard King rose to his feet, grabbed Cider’s Celestia plushie from the floor -which Cider had only now noticed- and began to rub it against his cocks’ sheaths, all four of them.

Cider then realized that he couldn’t talk to The Lizard King now, because then his royal reptilian highness would know Cider had been watching him. Cider stepped back into the darkness and was planning to run. However, he stopped, as he was interested in what The Lizard King’s sex was like.

The Lizard King gripped Celestria (Cider’s Celestia plushie. The name comes from her name, Celetia, and Australia, which is where they live) in his sharp claws and slammed her soft plot against his bouquet of horse penises. One went between her legs, it pushed her two plush legs apart and and he enjoyed them squeezing against his veiny member. The flare reached out well past her chest, as The Lizard King is obscenely well hung. A second and third went on either side of her body in whichever way makes your mouth smile and your dick and/or vagina hard and/or wet. I CAME!!!!! The forth went on-top of her ass and penetrated all the way through her stuffed tail, much like having sex with a Melon.

Cider cried a single tear, watching the plushie he had once made love to be torn apart by The Lizard King’s huge cocks. He realized that he could never fuck it again, as it would always remind him of The Lizard King fucking it better than he ever could.

The Lizard King kept going, ramming his cocks against Celestria, but only having them slide around it. He grew upset at not being able to actually penetrate the white doll. He ripped a hole in her ass, pulling open the stitching between her legs before sliding his cock into her. The flare bulged against her chest, actually threatening to tear the stitching (Unlike a normal erection. GOD! I hate my kin sometimes).

Cider couldn’t take much more, and was pretty sure he might vomit before he saw The Lizard King cum, and actually vomited.

The Lizard King’s twelve testicles (and his secret forbidden thirteenth testicle) made a huge swarm of sperm cells that filled Celstria’s entire sack-like body. It began to leak from between the stitches of her hooves and underbelly, dripping all over the sewer floor.

Cider left. Even though it was his livelihood, his computer was not worth it.

The Later

Cider eventually realized that he should probably get his computer back from The Lizard King, given that it was expensive and had a lot of important files on it, like his work and porn.

He went back to the sewer wear The Lizard King lived and found it deserted.  Celestria lay on the floor, filled with lizard semen (but not inflated, because the plushie fabric doesn't stretch much at all). (AN: I've checked. THAT'S $62.17 DOLLARS WASTED!!!! At least I got a free flash-drive.) He stepped over the cum-stained plushie and began unplugging the computer and it's various things from the power-strip and and each-other. But then, he realized that he had no way to carry all the heavy parts back to his house.

"How did The Lizard King move them?" he wondered, "probably by sending legions of lower reptiles to carry them, like ants."

Cider sighed and went back to his house to grab one of those little toy wagons. The red kind that rust in your backyard after you can no longer ride around in it; which, given your onset of puberty and metabolism, was somewhere around the general area of 10-ish. He carried it back to The Lizard King's hovel and put all his computer stuff in there before walking it back to his house. He looked homeless because he was still wearing the clothes he had slept in, thrice. He was given an offer for some money by a suburban soccer-mom, and eagerly took the $20 bucks.

The Lizard King didn't really care, because he had gotten to play Skyrim for a few hours, which is how much actually enjoyable content is in that game.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

shotsfired #skyrim #videogames #rant #review #critic #fagotry #Bathsp

(AN: Skyrim is a great game and I really like it. I don't own Skyrim. Don't Kill me Bethesda!)