Royal Rainbow

by calmcalmcalm

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash
Length: 1357

Rainbow Dash decides that she is more qualified to be a princess than Twilight, and proceeds to explain to her exactly why.

Rainbow Dash decides that she is more qualified to be a princess than Twilight, and proceeds to explain to her exactly why.

Published 2015-02-03 15:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-02-03 15:00:01 UTC

Royal Rainbow

"Twi? Hey Twilight, are you home?"

No answer.

"Twilight, I neeeeeed you!"

Not a peep. Rainbow Dash sighed. She had dropped by Twilight's castle, and since the door was unlocked, felt no need to knock. Unfortunately, the castle seemed deserted. The over-dramatic pegasus sprawled onto the floor before taking a deep breath.

"BOOKS!"

"Huh? Where?!" A voice echoed from deep within the castle halls.

"Oh, so she heard that..." Dash muttered, still lying on the marble floor. The sound of trotting reached her ears, coming closer and closer.

"I wasn't expecting my order of Star Swirl books to come so soon!" A cheerful sounding voice floated down the nearest hallway. Dash turned her head and saw the lavender alicorn appear through the doorway.

"Hey Twi!" She called from her spot on the marble floor.

"Huh? Rainbow Dash?" Twilight stopped in her tracks, staring at the pegasus. "What are you doing here? And where are my books?" She began looking frantically around, even using her magic to levitate Dash off of the ground, checking underneath her.

"Twilight, I was not hiding your books by laying on top of them." Rainbow rolled her eyes, still being held by the magic. Twilight instantly dropped her back to the floor and sighed.

"There are no books, are there." She stated in a flat tone.

"Oof!" The cyan pegasus fell into a heap on the ground before springing back into the air. "Nope! I just said that to get your attention!"

"Figures..." Twilight rolled her eyes. "Well, why are you here?" Dash grinned before puffing her chest out in pride.

"Well Princess Egghead. I've had a pifany!" She beamed at her friend before landing next to her. Twilight raised her eyebrow.

"A what?"

"A pifany!" Dash exclaimed. "Y'know, a breakthrough!"

"You mean an epiphany?" The alicorn asked, a pained expression on her face.

"Um, that's what I just said! A pifany." Rainbow mirrored Twilight's expression. "Come on, keep up Twi." Twilight shook her head, taking deep breaths.

"Ok Rainbow. What exactly is your epiphany?" She put emphasis on the last word, fearing what Rainbow's answer would be.

"Well, I've been thinking." The prismatic mare flipped her mane over her shoulder in a blur of colour. "I've been thinking a lot." Twilight winced. Rainbow Dash? Thinking? That couldn't be a good sign....

"And I've come to the conclusion..." Rainbow continued. "That I should be an alicorn princess, not you." Twilight gaped at her.

"What?! Why would you think that?" The alicorn was extremely confused. "What in Equestria?!"

"Twilight, just let me explain." A blue hoof was placed on Twilight's shoulder. "Well, first off I'm awesome. No doubt about that." The actual princess wrinkled her brow.

"That's not a good reason!"

"Is to a good reason! But I'm not finished yet." Dash began pacing around Twilight. "Who saved the coolest ponies in Equestria, AKA The Wonderbolts? Me."

"And that was very noble, but not princess-worthy!" Twilight began to argue before being cut off.

"Remember when I saved Sweet Apple Acres from the Flim Flam brothers?"

"That wasn't just you! That was all of us-" Twilight was interrupted once again.

"And when I convinced those Buffalo to become friends with the Appleloosens and stopped a whole stampede?"

"Once again, not just you-" The alicorn sighed, sensing this whole Rainbow-interrupts-everything-I-say thing was becoming a pattern.

"And how I made reading super cool, and not just for eggheads!"

"You were caught breaking into a hospital because you didn't want anypony to see you with a book!" Twilight exclaimed.

"Pulling off a sonic rainboom, something everypony thought was impossible!"

"What about completing an ancient spell, not to mention being the most powerful unicorn in existence!" Twilight cried, wondering if her friend had forgotten about the whole mixed-up cutie marks situation.

"And we can't forget about how I made an entire tornado and brought water up to Cloudsdale!"

"Yeah, you and fifty other pegasi! Not to mention, you said yourself that Fluttershy was the hero!" Twilight's voice was drowned out by Rainbow's loud talking.

"And how I knew that Cadence was actually a changeling at her wedding and saved everypony?!"

"Mhm... That was me." The purple maned alicorn sighed.

"And a bunch of other stuff!" Rainbow threw her arms out. "Me saving the Crystal fair with my awesome jousting!"

"Spike saved it." Twilight sighed.

"Reforming Discord!"

"That was Fluttershy. Again." Another sigh.

"When I found out that I was part of the Apple family!"

"That was Pinkie, not you. And how would that make you a princess?" The alicorn shook her head.

"Saving the breezies!"

"Ok, that was still Fluttershy." Twilight muttered.

"When I saved Fluttershy at the Rainbow Falls Trade Exchange from being traded for a book!"

"It was YOU who was going to trade her for that book in the first place!" The princess remembered that well, as she had been the judge at the impromptu court case.

"When I defeated Tirek!"

"That was me." She let out another weary sigh.

"When I saved Scootaloo from that river when we were camping!"

"No, that was.... Wait. That actually was you..." Twilight faltered.

"Saving you and the others at the Wonderbolts Academy, when your weather balloon got busted!"

"That was... Also you..." That was another memorable experience, but not for good reasons.

"So now you see why I should be an alicorn?" Rainbow smirked confidently. "I could go on, if you want."

"No, no. That... That's quite enough..." Twilight wrinkled her brow. "But I still don't see how you could become a princess."

"Don't you get it?" Dash exclaimed. "My name is Rainbow Dash. I have rainbow hair. When I fly, I leave behind a rainbow trial." She stared at Twilight, confused on why she didn't understand. "Ok. Remember when you went through that magic mirror into that other world?"

"Yeah..." Twilight had no idea where this conversation was going.

"Well, didn't you tell us that when you defeated Sunset Shimmer, you turned all rainbow and stuff?" Dash waved her hooves around.

"Yeah..."

"And when you went back for the Battle of the Bands, you sang a bunch of songs about how magic rainbows are, which helped you win?"

"Yeah..."

"Not to mention when you fought Tirek, we all turned rainbow and sang another song about rainbows?"

"Yeah..." Twilight was beginning to see where her friend was going.

"So, what I'm trying to say is," Dash took a deep breath. "Rainbows are basically the most powerful source of magic, like, ever! Right?"

Twilight squinted at her. In a weird way, that made sense. She must've been spending too much time with Rainbow Dash, because her theory actually seemed quite logical. "Well Dash," She began. "I... guess they are."

"And I'm pretty much a living rainbow! Therefore, I am the most powerful, and I should be a princess." Dash crossed her arms and smirked.

"But, why didn't you just explain that last part to me before naming all of your 'accomplishments'?" Twilight used her hooves to make air quotes around the last word.

"Oh, I just like talking about how awesome I am." Rainbow snickered. Twilight gaped at her. "So, my pifany makes sense, right?"

"Um... Well Rainbow, I guess your epiphany does make sense, in a weird way..." The alicorn glanced at her friend. "But anyways, I don't have the power to just make ponies into princesses."

"Aw, don't worry about it Twi." Dash grinned. "I'll just take this." She plucked the tiara off of Twilight's head and stuck it on her own. "Thanks!" And with that, she flew out the door and into the clear blue sky. Twilight stared after her, dumbstruck. Had Rainow just stolen her crown right off of her? The very crown that defined her as the princess she was today?

"Hey Twilight, was that Rainbow's voice I heard?" Spike's voice reached the alicorn's ears as he entered the foyer. "What's wrong? Did I miss anything?" The dragon saw the shocked expression on Twilight's face. She looked at him, still wondering what had just happened.

"Um, I'm not sure," She said shakily. "But I think we have...a new princess in town."