Chapters Everyday is Exactly the Same
Cold, dark, and lonely. The first three are always in effect, the latter, not so permanent. The air was always chilly here. Not one time in years could I remember feeling the warm sun on my fur, or even the warmth of another body. Another countless shiver racked my body, shaking the chilly metal chains that held me from the ground.
Thinking of the sun, it had been years since I’ve seen its beautiful rays, or basked in its light. The room was always dim with the same dull gray stone. Light couldn’t penetrate these walls so I could never tell whether it was day or night. When I was first brought here, I remembered a desert. My only indication of day or night was when my breath would become visible in the cold desert night. If light could illuminate this room, I would see myself hanging mere inches from the ground. I would see the color of my cream fur stained with my own blood. I would see my left wing pinned to the wall after it had been ripped from my body. I would be able to see the stub it left behind on my back. What I would be able to see in the mirror staring back, would be a mare that had lost all hope and will to live.
Alone. These were the good times. Solitude was my only safety. Whenever they were around, I was beaten. Day after day, months, and years. The only thing I could look forward to was sleep. Sleep was the only time I could truly be alone. There was a time that I remembered being terrified of the darkness and uncertainty brought by sleep, but now it was a comfort.
Everything was quiet; the only noise was of my own ragged inhaling and exhaling. Silence, was another comfort, a reminder that I was alone for the time being. I concentrated my senses into just my hearing. The stench in this place was unbearable. The smell of blood, tears, sweat, and rotting flesh. Over the years my sense of smell became close to nothing, but when we lose one sense, often times the others are heightened. I could make out the faint sound of voices. Squawking, always squawking. Every griffin had the same annoying voice.
I closed my eyes and heard footsteps, they were coming. Their steps sounded different from a pony’s. They were heavier, more intimidating. I took in a deep breath and mentally prepared myself for the beating to come. Every time it was the same. The ritual started with insults.
“Morning bitch,” the one I knew as Lieutenant spoke. The ritual had begun. Of all the griffins, it had to be him. The way I could tell him apart from the other griffins was because of his title and the pink scar trailing down the right side of his face. Of all the beatings, his would last longer, hurt more, and leave the most scars. I did not answer him when he spoke. One of the first things that I had learned was to never speak. After that I learned to never make a sound of any kind. He stepped in the room with me and began to circle like a shark. I did not make eye contact, I did not move. I did nothing to acknowledge his presence.
“I said ‘morning bitch’,” the lieutenant repeated. I just kept my gaze locked to the ground. I heard his wings flair and out of and in the corner of my eye I noticed his claw extending into the air. I closed my eyes. Not a moment later he swiped his claw across my face. My left cheek burned, but I didn’t make a sound. He circled again. I watched him in the mirror and he ran his claw down my exposed stomach, waiting for a reaction.
“Lieutenant, you’re needed,” a voice sounded from the hallway.
“I’ll be back tomorrow you useless sack of meat,” the Lieutenant snarled and followed the other griffin.
I released a held breath as the door closed; lucky our session had been cut short. Dampness ran down my left cheek, but not from any crying. I rubbed my cheek against my foreleg and three lines of blood were left in my fur.
Tomorrow? Was it already that late in the day? He had just told me it was morning though. Maybe he wasn’t planning on coming back this day to continue, but none of that really mattered. Every day just blurred together into one mixed mess of blood and bruises. I closed my eyes and let the comforting void of darkness consume me.
* * *
This day I was jolted awake by cold water being sprayed in my face. I gasped and fought for air as the liquid was constantly being forced down my throat. If the icy grip of the water wasn’t bad enough, the chains that held me in the air would dig further into my skin as I squirmed. After another few agonizing moments, the noise of running water was cut off and the sound of laughter took its place.
“Bath time you filthy animal.” The voice chuckled. Bath indeed. Here the bathwater was either two temperatures, freezing cold or scalding hot. Today was the former’s turn. After a few minutes the warmth of the air stopped my shivering. Must be daytime.
I then heard the spray of water and the laughter started again in the distance. I was not the only pony here. My village, I can’t even remember the name, boarded the griffin lands. Being the territorial creatures they were, violence was always on everypony’s mind. Treaty after treaty was signed and approved, but every time a loop hole was found and another treaty was written up. One night I was taken from my home. I remember hearing a sound in the house like a surprised gasp. When I got up to investigate a large creature scoped me off the ground and held my mouth shut. I tried again and again to scream, but the claw kept applying pressure to my mouth until in dug into my cheeks. All around me other fillies and colts were being taken from their homes by similar creatures.
Later I learned that these creatures were griffins and that we were being taken to an old prisoner camp, hence the gray stone walls and chains. As I mentioned before, the first thing everypony learned was not to talk. Those who would not stop were taken away and never returned. Next everypony learned not to make a sound. Laughing, crying, or screaming, anypony that made too much noise was carried away and never seen again or beaten to an inch of their life.
I don’t know exactly how many of us were taken and I don’t know how many are left, what I do know is that our numbers diminished significantly. Just a short time ago I could remember hearing the ragged breath of many others surrounding me, as if each room held a pony against their will. In the course of just a few weeks I was lucky to hear anypony besides myself.
“Boss needs another one, take this bastard,” I heard the Lieutenant command. I had heard of the ‘boss’ before. The griffins that spoke of him regarded him as a leader and revolutionary. Day after day I could listen from my room and hear the other griffins speak of ponies living too close to their lands. Their opinion of ponies was less than dirt and their opinion of our princess was even less. They never stopped talking about making an attack on Equestria, but always complained about never having enough numbers or how their weapons couldn’t counter a unicorn’s magic.
A choked gasp broke my thoughts and I could hear a body scraping against the stone floor. Then I got to see. The griffin that was in charge of ‘bath time’ walked by the doorway holding a chain. After he passed, a dark blue unicorn with a light blue mane was drug behind him. I only got a small glance, but I could tell he was in the same condition as I, if not worse. His coat was covered in blood, most dried and some fresh. Cuts and scars decorated his body and his cutie mark was just a mess of torn flesh, like the griffins had removed it.
“Hey bitch! How’s it hangin’?” a voice sounded, bringing me out of my stupor. The Lieutenant, he must have smelt my fear. He advance quickly and examined his handy work from the day before.
“You see that piece of filth? We’re gonna kill him. That might be you tomorrow,” he informed me. Kill him? For what? He’s been down the hall from me as long as I could remember and he’s never made a peep. Where the griffins just so bored that they are going to resort to killing the rest of us one by one?
A strike to my left cheek broke my thoughts. I let out a yelp of surprise. The lieutenant’s ears perked up and a look of joy slowly crept over his face. I know what happens now, he’ll use the noise I made as an excuse to “teach” me to be quiet.
“Yo, what have we told you ‘bout makin’ noise?” he spoke and lifted my chin up with his claw.
“Whatever, I could use a little work out,” he replied to himself. Not a second later a balled fist connected with my stomach. I assumed he was trying to surprise me again, but this time I was prepared and held down any vocal reactions. The Lieutenant let out an agitated sigh and struck again, this time connecting with my right side. After years of abuse like this, I had gained a high tolerance to pain. His beatings were tough, but I only had to last until he got bored.
“Oh c’mon,” the lieutenant sighed, “I’ve wanted to kill ya myself for a while, so let’s make this easy.”
He then walked around behind me. I felt a claw caress my right wing and my blood went cold. I glanced into the mirror in front of me and I could see myself visibly trembling. In the same mirror the Lieutenant smirked and placed his other claw on my wing. I shut both my eyes and felt the Lieutenant extent my wing to its full length. Then he started to bend it further. The pain started as a dull throbbing, a warning. The Lieutenant bent my wing even further and a sharp pain shot through my body, but I managed to keep my mouth shut.
“Just scream already! Yell, cry, wail!” The lieutenant shouted from behind me. I can’t. I won’t.
A sickening crack echoed through the room.
Fierce pain exploded thorough my body. I’ve had a wing broken before, proof of that was my other wind nailed upon the wall. Even so, that did not prepare me for the pain that racked my body. I was able to bite my tongue and repress any screams of agony. My eyesight blurred and soon the rest of my senses went numb. The next thing I remembered was a light tap on my cheek. As my senses returned to me, the light tapping became a strong strike.
My breathing was ragged and choked with saliva. I could not feel my wing anymore, but a glance at the mirror confirmed that it was still attached to my body. I hung my head and concentrated on slowing my breathing. The Lieutenant cackled to himself before speaking.
“Screw it, no one’s around,” He said and wrapped his claws around my throat. Instantly my airway was cut in half. I panicked and struggled against his grasp. The lieutenant then tightened his grip until I could no longer breathe. I kicked my legs and twisted in his grasp, but to no avail. My sight began to blur again. Asphyxiation started to set in and my vision slowly faded to black.
At first I thought I had passed out, or maybe even died. There was no grim reaper. No void. No Heaven. No Hell. The only thing I could feel was coldness starting at the bottom of my hooves and slowly working up my legs. I reached out a hoof, but there was no resistance. Nothing like water, air, or even gravity slowing me down.
The next instant I was conscious again and I was screaming. My sense of touch returned next and I could feel something running through my mane.
“Easy girl. Everything’s alright. Hush,” a voice cooed in my ear. I turned my head to see another griffin, running his claw through my mane. The first thing I noticed was that this griffin was larger than the others and his face carried the weight of an elder. I waited and waited as he continued to reassure me that everything was alright. Waiting for a strike, cut, or lashing, but it never came.
“Lieutenant, just what was going on here?” The griffin sighed. The Lieutenant then responded in a way I had never seen before. He did not respond at all, he just stood frozen as if trying to form an excuse.
“Well!?” The griffin demanded, causing both the Lieutenant and I to flinch.
“She was… screaming. I was just enforcing the rules,” the Lieutenant mumbled.
“Is that right? I didn’t hear any screaming. Least not until I found you strangling her.”
“Dad I-“ Dad?
“Hold your tongue, hatchling, and get out of my sight.”
And with that, the Lieutenant scurried away with his tail between his legs. This griffin must be important, but now what?
“The Lieutenant Colonel, the worm I decide to call my son,” the griffin explained. I did not respond. The Lieutenant Colonel’s father circled me, inspecting me.
“Rendered wing, broken wing, choke marks around your neck, and I assume most of these cuts and bruises are from him,” he pondered aloud. He was right, but I still did not respond.
“It’s alright, you can speak,” he announced. I shook my head from side to side. That’s what the others always said, but part of me believed him. He looked like a battle toughened griffin, even more so than the other griffins that patrolled this place, but there was a gentle side to him. Or maybe I’m just being naïve. Nevertheless, I felt far from being comfortable enough to speak.
“Very well,” he started, “I need you to stay alive until tomorrow, alright? Be strong for me now.”
As he left my mind raced with activity. Stay alive until tomorrow? Was I next to die? Was I going to be drug away like the dark blue unicorn I saw earlier? What happened to him?
I ran these questions through my head again and again, but only came up with more questions. I let out a deep sigh and instinctively panicked. After a few moments of silence passed I let out a held breath, lucky that no griffins were around to hear it.
What felt like an eternity later, the familiar pull of sleep tugged at my mind. I did not want to sleep. For all the time I’ve spent in this horrible place, this was the one time I refused to give in. Sleep was my only comfort besides solitude. In a way sleep was better than solitude. Unconscious to the world and myself, I did not have to think, feel pain, or worry. To me, when I slept, I ceased to exist. It was the only time that I was untouchable. One side of my mind told me to stay awake and cherish the rest of my life. The other side said what life ?
The darkness approached quickly. This time, rather than comfort, the darkness brought fear.
* * *
I was awaken by a scratching sound in my ear. My eyes slowly flickered to life and I found myself being drug along the ground. The chain around my neck threatened to dig into my skin and the pressure was already cutting my air supply in half. I coughed and struggled to breathe, but the griffin pulling me paid no heed to my violent hacking.
From the edge of my vision I could see the griffin come to a metal door. He wasted no time shoving past and into the brilliant sunlight. Pure and unfiltered sunlight. I haven’t seen pure sunlight in more years than I could remember. The light burned my eyes and I instantly snapped them closed. My fur felt warm. Not the kind of warm I usually feel from pain corrupting my body, and not the kind of warm from a suffocating room cut off from the wind. This was warmth from the sun itself and it felt good.
The griffin pulling me came to a stop and I dared to open my eyes. I did not like what I saw. A plain pale concrete ground stretched out in every direction and three griffins, the Lieutenant, the one I assumed who was the ‘Boss’, and another griffin I did not recognize, stood before me. But that’s not what bothered me. Behind the three griffins was a vertical piece of concrete and strapped to it was the dark blue unicorn that was dragged off the day before. The unicorn was dead. It looked like his body was smashed by blunt force, like he had been beaten, but a griffin’s fist looked much too small for whatever had hit this unicorn.
The griffins wasted no time in removing the deceased unicorn from the piece of concrete. The Lieutenant then pulled on my chain, dragging me forward. He then lifted me off the ground and began to strap me to the concrete. Something was wrong; the Lieutenant wasn’t showing any violence. I had expected him to pull me up by the neck as he lifted me up, strike me across the face as he strapped me in, or harmed me in some way. He didn’t even bother to throw an insult at me. It just felt strange.
His face portrayed a scowl with the hint of a smirk. My guess was that he was forced not to act violent, but I would die today. That’s what the ‘Boss’ told me yesterday. Stay alive until tomorrow. To my own surprise, I didn’t panic. I couldn’t place my emotion, but I attributed it to calmness. I felt at ease. All these years of pain and anguish were finally going to stop. I imagined death would be painful, but at least I could finally rest after.
The griffins then started to walk away, leaving me strapped to the concrete. I watched in interest as they approached a contraption of sorts, about seventy yards away from where I was held. The thing was a long metal cylinder that sat on two metal wheels. The third griffin that I didn’t recognize began to examine the contraception as the Lieutenant lifted a metal ball out of a box and placed it inside the cylinder. The third griffin then pointed towards the sky and said something that the wind carried away before it could reach my ears. The Lieutenant nudged the thing to the left and pointed it skywards.
Next thing I know, my ears register a loud bang, like the sky had been split open. I looked around for anything out of the ordinary, but all I see is blue sky and sand. Not a moment after I had completed my thought, another noise split the air right next to me and an intense pain shot through my right hind leg. I tried to scream out in agony, but I couldn’t even gather my breath.
Once the pain had passed, I tried to get a glance at my hind leg, but my head was tightly locked in place. From my peripheral view however, I could see a metal ball rolling away from me. Another crack split the air and I was able to pinpoint the noise. Whatever contraption they had, it was making the noise. A small object shot from the metal cylinder and soared through the air. Then I realized what was happening, the contraption was used to shoot the metal balls.
This time the ball slammed into the concrete beside me, missing my head by mere centimeters. Horror and panic started to creep in from the edges of my mind, but I reminded myself that it would all be over soon. No more pain. The unknown griffin scooted the contraption another three yards back. No more beatings. The Lieutenant put another metal ball in the cylinder. No more starving. The Boss took a match to the cylinder. I can rest. The air split again.
This time the ball connected with my chest. Pain like I never experienced before coursed through my veins. My chest felt like it had been pulverized into a fine powder. I didn’t scream, I didn’t cry, I hardly moved. I could taste copper in my mouth.
I forced my eyes up and saw a forth griffin that I couldn’t recognize join the group. He started speaking to the Boss, but I couldn’t hear him at this distance. I heard the Boss’s reaction thought.
“What! She’s here? Now?”
And just like that, the two griffins I didn’t know and the Boss took to the sky. The Lieutenant started to wheel the contraption away. No. No, no no. They couldn’t leave now. They couldn’t leave me in pain like this. For the first time in my memory I became angry. I sucked in what breath I could muster, and I screamed. That got the Lieutenant’s attention. I sucked in more air and screamed again, with words attached to my breath this time.
“Bucking feather brains!”
I giggled. I just cursed. First words I speak years and I curse. I noticed the Lieutenant take out his blade and leap into the air. I spat the coppery taste out of my mouth and screamed again. My breath was cut off as a claw gripped my throat. My adrenaline was wearing off and I could feel myself fading in and out of consciousness. The last thing I saw was the Lieutenant’s blade and a black cloud with the beauty of the night sky wrapping around it.
“Thy may rest now, my little pony, but it is not thy day to die.”
* * *
Notes: Don't worry brony dudes, the major dark part is over and the story will pick up from here. Thanks to my bro Roxy Shot for pre reading and editing this hunk of words for me.
Author jazz: Ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh! My best f**king friend forever aka Roxy Shot aka the editor of this story let me use one of his songs for the theme of this fic. F5U7, aka fffffuuuuuuu. It's called One Ghost . It's also up on FA If you're in to that kinda thing.
I found myself in the comforting void once again. Something was wrong though. I could feel. This was not sleep. This was not a comforting void. Everything ached. Everything hurt. From the state of light consciousness, I could only tell that I was lying down, rather than hanging from the ceiling. I tried to move one of my fore hooves, but a wave of numbness washed through my body. I tried to lift my eyelids, but they might as well be sown shut. I took a shallow breath and fell back to darkness.
The next time my unconsciousness was interrupted by a steady beeping noise. The ache and pain had increased from the last time, but this time my eyes fluttered open with success. I was in a dark room. The walls were featureless and plain. They were not made of brick.
I tried to think back to my last memory. I was strapped to a concrete wall. A series of explosive noises. Unrivaled pain. I was going to die. I should have died. I… wanted to die. Why was I still here? Who or what kept me in this world? I took a breath and fell back to darkness.
I was awoken by voices. Two of them. My eyes slowly opened and I saw a white pony. Standing next to her was a taller, dark blue pony with a horn. I could hear their voices, but I could not make out the words. I watched the two while my senses slowly come back to me. As soon as I was able to understand their words, the dark blue unicorn noticed my state of consciousness and stopped speaking.
“Thou have awoken. Speak, how dost thou feel?” She asked while wearing a smile. I remembered her voice. She was the reason I was alive. It was her fault.
“…Why?” I managed to speak in a cracked voice. The unicorn tilted her head as if she misunderstood me.
“…Why didn’t you let me die?” I spoke in a voice barely above a whisper. The unicorn responded with a look of shock, but quickly composed herself. She then spoke something in reply, but I couldn’t hear her. I took a deep breath and fell back to darkness.
* * *
The next time I woke up, I felt better. Well… Maybe ‘better’ is too strong of a word. Everything still ached, but the pain was gone. I moved my right fore hoof and I can feel again. I brushed up against something soft. A blanket. I was lying in a bed. A steady beeping noise sounded to my right. My fore hoof traveled further up and it hit something solid on my body.
I pulled the blanket aside and found a needle stuck into my skin. A thin and clear tube ran from the needle to a bag. There was a clear liquid in the bag, but I did not know what it was. I pulled the needle from my skin without as much as a whimper. The hole the needle left started to bleed, but it’s nothing I was not used too.
I inspected my body further and find small pads of white material stuck to my coat. I pulled off twelve in all and the beeping machine stopped. A white pony with a bubblegum pink mane rushed in as soon as the machine stopped its noise. The two of us stared at each other for a few moments before I retreated under the blanket.
The white pony stated to approach me. I could hear her hoof steps. I started to tremble as she made her way beside me. Now what? Was I relieved of one torture chamber to trade it for another? Would the ponies holding me here treat me worse than the griffins did? A soft voice broke my thoughts.
“It’s alright. Nopony is going to hurt you. I promise,” The pony spoke delicately. I remained under the covers. After a few moments of silence, she spoke again.
“You must be thirsty, I’m going to get you a glass of water, okay?” She asked. I didn’t respond. After a few more moments I heard her leave the room.
I then slowly emerged from the covers and inspected the room. Light spilled into the room from a window to my left, illuminating every corner. After being so long without sunlight, it felt nice. I could vaguely remember the sun as a filly. The memory was not detailed, but I could remember enjoying the sun. My ear flickered as a noise came from the doorway.
“We would like to see her,” a voice said. It sounded like the blue unicorn that saved me.
“Of course your majesty, but she’s very confused and scared right now,” a voice responded that I recognized as the white pony.
The two then entered, but I didn’t retreat under the covers, even though every fiber of my being urged me too. I remained silent as they approached. Up close and finally fully conscious, I noticed that the dark blue unicorn also had a pair of wings at her side. Was that even possible? I had memories of unicorns and pegasi, but I don’t remember any ponies with both wings and a horn.
Another thing that struck me was how regal she looked. A black crown adored her head, and a necklace with the image of the moon hung from her neck. Her mane seemed to be made of the stars themselves, and it responded to the gentle breeze of a wind that was not present. She was elegant, beautiful, and somewhat intimidating. Then she spoke.
“We… I was wondering how you are feeling. The situation looked very grim when we found you,” she said. I responded the same way I always did when a vocal response was expected. I didn’t.
The three of us remained in silence until the white pony decided to break it by setting down a glass of water on a table next to me. I stared at the glass of water. The last time I was offered clean water to drink, the griffin offering it swiped it away before I could reach it. He then laughed and drank it himself.
“Go ahead,” the white pony spoke and nudged the glass towards me. I hesitantly extended my two hooves forward and touched the glass. I glanced between the two ponies for a few moments before quickly taking the glass of water and chugging it. In my haste however, I started to choke halfway through the liquid. The water cut off my airway and I began to hack and cough. The regal pony was quick to put her hooves on my back and coax the liquid out. A red fluid now mixed with the water and dotted the blankets. I could feel my cheeks flush in embarrassment.
“It is alright. No need to be embarrassed,” the regal pony said. I finished my coughing and looked back at the two ponies. They seemed so kind, gentle, and caring. I wanted so much to believe them, to feel safe, but I could only compare this moment to the rest of my memories. I retreated under the covers again. I heard the regal pony let out a sigh. Then the two left the room.
* * *
The next time I woke up, there were two ponies beside me. One was the regal dark blue pony from before. The other was a new pony. She looked just as regal, if not more so, than the dark blue pony. This one however, had a coat as white as the purest snow. Golden jewelry decorated her body and her hair was a mix of blue, green, and pink that also blew to the breeze on a wind that was not there. She spoke first.
“My name is Celestia. It is good to see your recovery, my little pony,” she said. Her voice was sweet and calming, but there was also an aged undertone to it. I responded in the usual way until she tried again.
“Could you tell us your name, my little pony?” she asked softly. I slowly shook my head. Even if I wanted to tell her, I couldn’t. I don’t remember a name. Celestia didn’t press the issue though. The dark blue pony nudged Celestia.
“Excuse us for a moment,” Celestia said. The two then left the room, but I could still hear their voices as they talked from behind a closed door.
“Sister, I am worried,” the blue pony spoke.
“I know Luna, but I think she will be alright. Remember how you were when you first came back?”
“…I know. I wouldn’t speak to anypony except you for three months.”
“And you turned out just fine. We just need to give her time.”
“Very well.”
The two then re-entered the room. This time Luna spoke first.
“We believe you have recovered to the point that physical therapy can begin,” Luna stated. I hadn’t the faintest idea of what she meant. I had never heard the term ‘physical therapy’. Luna was quick to pick up on my blank expression and explained it for me.
“Your hind leg was crushed. You may have difficulty walking for a time, but with physical therapy we can help you in recover faster than if you were on your own. There are certain techniques and practices that will build your strength up,” she explained. I nodded, remembering the unbearable pain the metal ball had caused. Maybe I could give this a chance. Just maybe, they really did want to help me.
* * *
The next few weeks were uneventful. As soon as I was able to walk with assistance, two nurses took me to a bath and worked on the years and years of dirt, grime, and blood that tainted my coat. It took three separate baths to restore my coat to normal. Next I was taken to get my hair cut. After having all the impurities washed from my mane, it curled up in waves and hung loosely from my neck. I had to be held down and cooed as the haircutter approached me with the pair of scissors, but her work was quick and fortunately for me, painless. She cut my hair to my shoulders and said it was cute, very Marelyn Maneroe.
The physical therapy Luna talked about involved me being put into what was called a trotting brace. A metal contraption was strapped to each of my legs and I was made to trot with them attached. I didn’t see the point of wearing them or how they would make me better, but I feared saying ‘no’.
Speaking of which, I still hadn’t spoken a word since I awoke. Both Celestia and Luna tried asking me questions like: What is your name? What happened in the camp? Where were you taken from? Even simple questions I refused to answer: What do you like to eat? What is your favorite color? I just didn’t feel comfortable speaking. Everypony felt so intimidating.
One day she convinced Princess Celestia, I had also learned that Celestia, Luna, and Cadence were all princesses, that I needed to get out of the castle. She took me to a sweets shop and bought me something that called ice cream. The shop had so many flavors that it started to overwhelm me, so I just picked the simplest looking one. Vanilla. It was cold, but good.
As we sat and ate, Cadence asked me about my name again. I shook my head in response, like I did every other time. She then asked again and put on a pout. I…really didn’t know what to do at that point. For the first time since I cursed at the Lieutenant, I spoke again. I don’t know why I did. I suppose I felt like I owed her something for all of her kindness.
“I don’t know,” I said meekly. It felt strange hearing my own voice. My vocal response shocked her, but she quickly regained her composure.
“You don’t know why you can’t tell me your name?” she asked.
“No… I don’t know my name,” I responded. This time sorrow overtook her features. We sat in silence for a time, until she decided to speak again.
“I’m sorry…”
“It’s okay.” We ate the rest of our treat in silence.
* * *
The next day I was summoned to see Princess Celestia. Two guards approached my bed in the infirmary; I refused to move to a guest room, and asked me to follow them. I didn’t question and I didn’t resist their request. In a sense, I kind of liked the guards. They only talked when they needed too. They were content in being quiet and gentle, never once did a guard make physical contact with me.
Once in Princess Celestia’s personal room, the two guards escorted themselves out and closed the doors behind them. Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and Cadence stood before me.
Princess Celestia’s room was… simple. Much more so than I expected for the royalty of a princess. A large four poster bed coated with white and golden sheets rested in the corner of the room, illuminated by the sunlight spilling in from a window. A small cabinet stood by the bed and on the other corner of the room a small desk with papers stacked almost to the ceiling sat. The guest rooms I was offered to have looked more extravagant.
“Good afternoon,” Cadence smiled. I didn’t need to wonder why I was brought here. Since I had spoken to Cadence the day before, I had a strong feeling she would tell the Princesses since they wanted to ask so many questions. I nervously locked my gaze on the ground, knowing both Celestia and Luna were expecting a vocal response. I cleared my throat and attempted to reply.
“H-… He… Heeel-,” I choked out quieter than a mouse. I couldn’t even say ‘Hello’.
“You don’t need to be afraid,” Cadence began as she approached me, “I know the Princesses can be intimidating, but I’m a Princess too and we’ve become friends right?”
I nodded.
“Celestia and Luna need to ask you some important questions. How about you whisper to me and I can do the talking?” Cadence suggested. I nodded again, relieved that she understood how I felt.
The four of us then sat in a circle around an expensive looking tea set. For the first few minutes, the four of us just sat and drank tea. Well, the three princesses did. I didn’t think I could manage to lift my glass with the way my hooves were shaking. It smelt good though, like apples and cinnamon. I knew they wanted to give me a few moments of silence to relax, and I tried my best to, but I just couldn’t stop my shaking. There was a little voice picking at the back of my mind, telling me they couldn’t be trusted.
“Do you know how old you are?” Princess Celestia quietly broke the silence. I shook my head.
“Do you remember how old you were when you were… taken?” Again I shake my head.
“The griffin camp was built nine years ago. There are only a few pony settlements that border the griffin territories. In six years, four settlements were attacked,” the Princess explained. I then closed my eyes.
A birthday. Nothing big, just a simple birthday with family and a few select friends. A male earth pony and a female pegasus sat beside their daughter. The earth pony had a cream coat that has lost most of its vibrancy. The earth pony worked in the mines, but he was happy to work hard for the family he loved.
The pegasus was a beautiful mare. Her coat was a pale red that was easily forgotten in a crowd of the bright colors of other ponies, but where her coat failed to gather attention, her mane more than made up for it. Some ponies said her mane was so pure, that it had to be made from the sun’s own golden rays.
The couple’s daughter was blessed with the best of both of her parents. She had received her father’s cream coat, but it was subdued like her mother’s. Her mane was once again a gift from her mother. Golden curls bounced from the top of her head and rolled down to the top of her shoulders. Her father’s bright blue eyes shone from under her golden locks.
Everypony present was singing to the little filly. After the song was over, the crowed looked expectantly to the filly. The filly sucked in a mouthful of air, made a wish, and blew out her candles. Ten candles.
“…ey…Hey. Are you alright?” A voice broke my daydream. The first thing I noticed was Cadence extending her hoof. Her hoof was pressed up against my cheek.
The griffin extended his claw and struck me across the cheek.
I recoiled violently, knocking over my glass of tea and tumbling into one of the legs on Princess Celestia’s bed. I rubbed the back of my head softly as Cadence rushed to my side. Princess Luna stood as if she wanted to come to my aid as well, but Princess Celestia remained sitting down with a sad look in her eyes.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you,” Cadence exclaimed, worry thick in her voice. It was then I felt wetness on my cheek. I lifted my hoof to my cheek and wiped the dampness from my face. That’s why Cadence had her hoof to my cheek.
“It’s not your fault, I just… I… Ten,” I spoke so only she could hear.
“Ten?” Cadence repeated.
“The age I was taken,” I clarified. Cadence embraced me in her hooves and pulled my body against hers. This time I didn’t push her away. It was a simple gesture, but it felt so warm and familiar. I then felt wetness on my shoulder and could faintly feel Cadence’s body shaking.
“A-are you alright?” I voiced.
“No. Nopony should ever have to go through what you did. Especially not at such a tender age,” she replied. She held on a few moments more, giving the occasional sniff, before letting go.
Cadence relayed the information to the two princesses. A shocked expression lit Luna’s face for a few moments before she could regain her composure whereas Celestia was able to conceal her expression with a sip of tea.
“Alright, that is enough about morbid topics. How about we speak of something on a lighter note?” Celestia spoke to nopony in particular. “Cadence, would you like to tell her my idea?”
“We know you’re not too happy here in Canterlot. To put it bluntly, there are too many stuck up nobles and high class figures for you to be comfortable. It’s hard to make friends here unless you’re enrolled in a school or working at a job. Neither of which you are ready for.” Cadence explained. I nodded as she spoke. It was true. The attitudes of most ponies around made them hard to approach, not that I would be so bold to in the first place. The only ponies I had once thought of speaking to besides Cadence were Princess Luna and the palace guards. School and a job meant being exposed to groups of ponies, something I just wasn’t ready for.
“The three of us think it would be best for you if you move to a small village called Ponyville,” Cadence finished. No. No, no, no. I was not ready for that. I was not ready for another change. I shook my head rapidly from side to side.
“I took care of Twilight when she was just a filly. The two of you are a lot alike. I think you will get along with her,” Cadence smiled.
“I-I-I’m scared,” I forced out.
“Trust me, please?”
“…okay.”
AN: So, long wait for a short chapter. I got nothing to say about that. I'm in a University, I got jazz to do. Better than nothing right? ...Right?
Cadence and I stood on solid ground again. Well, Cadence stood. I on the other hoof sunk to the ground and tried to hold on with all of my might.
“It wasn’t that bad, was it?” Cadence asked. I nodded. Never again. I was never going to fly again. Never, ever, ever.
For the trip to Ponyville, Princess Celestia decided to let Cadence and I ride in her personal chariot. At first I was… apprehensive to the idea, but when we took off I was in awe. Being above the clouds was beautiful. Sunlight touched the soft pillow-like clouds and spread its warm glow along their surface. Feeling the fresh spring air caress my cheeks was a welcome sensation and I almost felt at ease. Until we broke through the clouds and I realized just how far from the ground we were. After that I was rendered to a shivering mass of broken pegasus for the remainder of the trip. I thought that being a pegasus would make me unafraid of heights. I was wrong. Very, very, wrong.
A few moments later Cadence was able to coax me to my hooves. The then flashed me a smile before trotting to a large tree. Cadence told me about the unicorn Twilight Sparkle on the trip to Ponyville. From what I gathered, she lived in this giant tree which also served as Ponyville’s library. I was happy to hear that this Twilight lived in a library. Libraries were quiet. I liked quiet.
Cadence gave the door three gentle knocks and waited for a response.
“Spike! Could you get that?” A voice rang from inside. So much for quiet. A scurrying of… something quickly approached the door. I could tell it was not the hooves of a pony. If this Spike was not a pony, just what was he or she? I shyly took a step back from the door in doubt. My curiosity was answered a moment later when the door opened to a purple reptile. It had green spikes on its body, claws, and I could see fangs protruding from its mouth.
With an incoherent squeak of surprise I zipped back to the chariot and took shelter behind one of the royal guards. A dragon! A real life, ten yards away from me, fire breathing, town destroying, eat a pony for breakfast dragon! I had only heard stories of dragons from the griffins. One day I remembered how the Lieutenant stormed in spitting and cursing about how a dragon had taken out half of his force over a territorial misunderstanding. The torn and burnt copses were taken past my prison on the way to be buried. And now there was one of them right in front of me.
“Something I said?” a boyish voice spoke. I assumed it was the dragon, I was too afraid to look and see who was speaking.
“I think she’s afraid of you, Spike. Let me talk to her okay?” Cadence responded.
“My little pony?” Cadence spoke as she approached, “You don’t need to hide from Spike. He’s a harmless and kind baby dragon.”
“A-a harmless baby dragon that can destroy towns and eat little ponies for breakfast!” I quickly retorted as I shifted around the royal guard to avoid Cadence’s gaze.
“Spike has been raised by Twilight Sparkle, he’s not going to harm you.”
“She has control of it? So she can command it to attack at any time!”
Cadence then tried to quickly round the guard, but I managed to slip under him before she could reach me. We continued the chase for a few moments, like a game, except the loser would get fed to the dragon.
“I really don’t know where these young ponies get all their energy from,” Cadence said between breaths. The guard just shrugged in response. I looked up at Cadence from under the guard, shaking like a leaf.
“Please, just trust me?” she asked and gave another one of her pouts. I wanted to trust Cadence. She hasn’t lied to me or put me in danger before, but this was a real living dragon.
“Twilight, I think you should handle this one. It looks like she has serious Fluttershy syndrome against dragons,” I heard the dragon say from the doorway. Fluttershy what?
“O-okay,” I mumbled and slid out from under the royal guard. Cadence and I then slowly trotted to the library door. The dragon was gone, and in its place was a lavender unicorn with a purple mane that had a single streak of pink in it. From Cadence’s description, I assumed this was Twilight Sparkle.
“How come you get all the hot mares rubbin’ up on you, colt?” I heard one of the guards say from behind us, he sounded young. The comment’s meaning was lost on me and if Cadence had heard him, she didn’t show any signs of it. The other guard, presumably the one I hid under, just gave a huff of annoyance. Did I do something wrong?
“Cadence! It’s so good to see you again,” Twilight said and pulled Cadence into a hug.
“It’s good to see you too Twilight,” Cadence responded and returned Twilight’s hug.
“I see you’ve brought your friend too, come on in and make yourselves at home,” Twilight said and motioned us to enter. Cadence crossed the threshold first and I reluctantly followed behind. My eyes darted around, trying to find the dragon and put as much distance between it and myself, but it was nowhere to be seen.
The inside of the tree was breathtaking. There were so many books. Every wall was covered in shelves that stretched to the ceiling. Thin books, thick books, red books, green books. I don’t think I could ever recall seeing so many books in one place. The castle in Canterlot had a library, but I never got around to stepping inside.
“Come sit down,” Cadence spoke, breaking me from my thoughts. I joined Cadence on the couch just as Twilight brought out a tea set and placed it on the wooden table in front of Cadence and I. Twilight then took a seat across from us. I stared at my cup of tea. I had not tried any when in Celestia’s personal chambers, or any of the other times I was offered.
I curiously lifted my own expensive looking tea cup and lifted it to my lips. The liquid tasted stale and bitter, but even more so, it was scolding hot. I have a high tolerance to pain, luckily for me, and quietly set the cup back down. I glanced up to see Cadence and Twilight looking my way with blank looks. I nervously returned my gaze to the floor.
“Has it cooled down already?” Twilight asked as she wrapped her magical aura around her own cup and lifted it to her lips. One second and one startled yelp later, she got her answer.
“Twilight! Are you alright?” Cadence exclaimed.
“Yes… yes. My goodness this is still very hot. Did you burn yourself? Are you alright?” Twilight directed towards me. Per usual, I nodded my head and kept silent.
As Cadence and Twilight conversed, I let my mind drift around the library. It was so different from what I was used to. The atmosphere was calming, unlike the hopeless and stale state of a cell or the tense and suffocating air of the castle. The library was lived in. Personal items like quills and telescopes were strewn about the floors and tables. Vases of bright colored flowers decorated the windows and tables. A floral scent filled the air. This place felt like a home.
“Of course Twilight,” Cadence said as I finished my thoughts.
“I need to show Cadence something, would you like a book to read as you wait?” Twilight directed at me. I nodded out of compliance. She then levitated a thick book that read Astronomy 101: A Beginner’s Look Volume I and smiled.
Cadence and Twilight then moved to the kitchen. I took this opportunity to stand up and stretch my legs. I then slowly trotted over to a vase of bright orange flowers. They had five to six large petals that had a number of smaller brown freckle-like dots on them.
“A-are you sure that I’m the best pony for this task?” I faintly heard Twilight say from the kitchen. Task?
“The princess seems to think so. Remember when I took care of you? It’s the same thing, except this time you get to be the foul sitter. You can even teach her the dance.” Cadence giggled. Dance?
I continued to scan the library until something else caught my interest. Another vase of flowers, but these were different. They had rich, dark blue petals arranged in an upside down bell-like shape. They were captivating. On the same windowsill, another vase of these flowers sat to the left, but these were different. The tips of the dark blue blossom showed a slight crumbling and the leaves of the stem showed hints of brown. The flowers were also leaning to the right, as if stretching for the light.
Flowers need sunlight and water right? I nudged the vase with my nose until the flowers were basked in the warm light. That takes care of one problem, but where was I going to get water? I glanced around the library, but there was not a watering pail in sight. Does she ever water these poor things? My eyes then rested on the tea set, sitting on the table. I took a quick peek in the direction of the kitchen.
“Of course I will. I would be happy to take her in with me,” Twilight’s voice sounded.
“Good, let’s go let her know the good news,” Cadence replied, ending the conversation. I then scurried to the table, grabbed my cup of tea in my mouth, and dumped it into the vase.
“Oh, do you like those?” Twilight asked. I nodded nervously.
“They’re called Tulips,” she said. Tulips. I think I like tulips.
Cadence explained to me that she was Twilight foalsitter years ago, going into detail and sharing stories of how much fun they had together. They showed me their ‘dance’ that I have overheard about earlier and every attempted to get me to try it, which ended up with me shaking my head and eventually burying my head in my hooves.
I was scared of living with Twilight. She seemed like a nice pony, but I’ve come to learn how easy it is to hide your true nature and emotions. I wanted to trust Cadence and believe that Twilight could be trusted, but I didn’t know how trustworthy somepony could be when they had an attack dragon at their disposal.
Cadence didn’t stay much longer. If felt strange as I watched her leave. I’ve been forced to watch many ponies get dragged off to what I assume was their death, but I didn’t feel anything for them. It hurt as I watched Cadence get on the chariot to leave, even when she said she would visit from time to time, and I couldn’t explain why.
I felt uneasy. Is this what my life is going to become? Being passed from one pony to another for the rest of my life? I don’t like the idea of that, not at all, but what if things got better? I’m not expecting things to, but maybe I can wish. Just for a while.
