Just Enough For Her

by SaiyanUltima

Rating: mature
Tags: Romance, Original Character, Comedy, King Sombra, Sex, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Human
Length: 20016

Zane is your average, single father in a society of ponies, a man that has one child to raise in the world they cannot get enough of. Until one cruel mare starts to show a little more than an abusive friendship, and turns into something more.

Zane has lived in Equestria for quite some time now, and has come to realization about couples:

There is barely any families in Equestria. There are barely any stallions that stay with the mare that gave birth to their foal. He can count the couples he know on his hand, and that says much about how bad it is for him.

Shining Armor and Cadance, Mr. and Mrs. Cake, Twilight's Parents; those are the couples he knows of that are married parents.

Though he isn't looking for any sort of relationship, he will see that being a single father is every mare's dream, even for the darkest of ponies.

Author Note...

(Rule 63 of Sombra, and potential clop if wanted)

Published 2015-04-03 03:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2017-06-18 22:52:46 UTC

Chapter III

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter IV

Author's Note

Another day. Another Chapter.

Hope you enjoy.

Chapter IV

The cold air was still heavy as Shining I walked around the house for more firewood, and the presence of others was terrible because everyone saw Cadance and Shining Armor enter my home. There were some ponies standing outside of my yard and whispering with friends and family. Hateful glares directed towards my window, mares envious of the unicorn ignoring them while the stallions watched the princess and former queen continue their standoff. One of the bigger stallions, someone I think is known as Dumbbell, stepped forward and yelled at me multiple times before throwing an apple he was eating. It was nothing out of the ordinary for a guy like me; there's always some asshole that wants to have a crack at me, the Bastard Prince, or Umbra, the Broken Queen.

"Get out of our town, freak;" he screams at the window, and then looks to me with the same disgust. "And take your pet monkey with you!"

I saw Shining Armor clench his teeth when Dumbbell took another step and that some of the townsfolk agreed. Shining assumed the rest of the crowd was for me and is half correct. As much as I hate to clarify the teasing mare that lives with me, ignorance is not so bliss in our situation. There are some ponies, both stallion and mare, that want me dead for leaving Canterlot to live my own life. They strongly believe I should relinquish Sophia to my traitorous ex-marefriend because she deserves to live a luxurious life rather than as a commoner.

Yeah, bullshit to that idea. The last thing I need is to lose the love of my life. Besides, Sophia needs to learn the difference between luxury and common living while she's still young. I have no doubt that in the future the normal life will be too little for Sophia, and she will decide to return to Canterlot when she is old enough. That's what I fear though, my own child returning to the family that shunned us for our differences.

Luna has everything she could want and need, while I am. . .

"Don't pay attention to them," Shining's hoof pushes against my back and brings me out of my thoughts, the sounds of townsfolk on edge returning to my ears as he pushed towards the house. "Get back inside before Cadance and Umbra decide to fight a second time."

My expression was already quite distraught. But at thinking of those two destroy more of my house, whatever dislike I had left towards Sophia's potential future quickly slipped into my chest and left what I could describe as a gaping hole. It felt the same when I walked out of the castle, when I became a single father, and it felt the same now.

Entering the house, we found it almost too quiet with all three mares waiting on the couch for Shining and I to keep the fire going. They were not eyeing either of us, but rather watching together the entire town express their distrust of Umbra. I can't say they're wrong for having their suspicions. Still, a reformed pony deserves as much a chance as Discord does.

"Bunch of haters, aren't they?" Umbra asked in a sarcastic tone, ignoring that I nudged past her to drop the log inside the tinder box. She appeared to be fine and uncaring of the town ranting for her to leave, but I was not as fooled as everyone else was. Call it a mother's intuition through my senses and experience with her staying in my house. She was not the same monster that tried to conquer the entire world. That sadistic bitch was dead. The old Umbra was gone and had left a much more sensitive mare in this world.

Don't get me wrong when I say she is sensitive; that fighting spirit of hers was still in there and burning. She was still a feisty unicorn that will tear you limb from limb if you back her into a corner.

"They're just wanting to blow off some steam today." I told her, giving the town my way of telling them to fuck off before closing the blinds. If I didn't know any better I'd say a few gasps were heard as I took my place next to her.

She scooted over and pushed me down, her intention to not just share some space but also snuggle on top of me obvious in her speed. Cadance sat and watched quietly as the unicorn abused this with levitating the blanket over us again. Shining and I had the same thought as his wife expressed disappointment.

For Umbra?

For me?

For our new relationship.

I don't care.

"Is there really nothing that will change your mind?" Cadance asked inconsolably, ignoring the mare on top of me who seemed to enjoy nestling her face in my neck—not that it was a bad thing at all, just a little weird.

And there it was. . .my anger. . .

It was rare to see me lose my temper I suppose, but I never get angry or mad at anyone or anything. After she left Sophia and I, that part of me died inside and turned to dust. And right after I found Luna with Alex, love became meaningless and unnecessary in my life. That's probably why I am who I am today.

Then why did I say yes to Umbra, and what stirred me to give her a chance?

I'd been told that Cadance can be persistent and a bit of a nuisance towards problems that relate or loop to broken love. I just never expected her to be this determined, and it pissed me off.

"I told you there is nothing. Now stop asking."

"Zane. . . please. . ."

I watched her hop off the couch and approach Umbra and I to soften my decision, but after sitting up and pushing Umbra off of me, I pointed at her and did what no one but Umbra has heard and felt.

I lost it.

"For fuck's sake Cadance, I told you to stop asking me and I meant it." I yelled scathingly without any consideration as to what this will do to her. But I just could not take anymore of her needy persistence to fix everyone's love problems. "You're just like a marriage counselor that only see the good of things. Well guess what, you cannot fix me or what I had with Luna and Celestia. You can't bring me to forgiving them or my brother or the queen. I chose to leave and shut out almost everyone to get past that betrayal. Now do me a big favor and fucking drop this bullshit fantasy you have of fixing my problems, because I don't want your fucking help!"

The silence in the living room was enough as I stood up and left the group. Walking upstairs to my room was the only thing I could think of to get away from her. It was really the best thing since I just screamed at her for the first time. I was about to slam my door when I heard Cadance crying and hooves shuffling around the house. I didn't really plan to hurt her feelings or lose my temper, I just wanted her to stop pestering me about going back.

. . .Now I felt like breaking everything I own.

I paced and muttered to myself. Hearing her go from a loud cry to sobbing wasn't enough to make me leave the room, and besides it was probably a deathtrap down there. Sophia and Twilight are definitely pissed at me now, and let's not forget how protective Shining Armor can be when someone hurts his wife.

The hour was stretched in my time to calm down and think, no one coming to my room to give me an ass-chewing or a potential ass-beating. Thankfully the town went quiet after they gave up and returned to whatever it was they had going on before bothering me.

Yeah, just me, my thoughts and a swollen hand after punching the wall seven times, no doubt of the knuckles being broken. The pain was not excruciating, just enough to keep me from going into deep thought.

The hole in the wall wasn't something I could brag about to others, but I had to admit to myself that it was impressive. It was actually shocking and a little strange. This house was built by the apple family after I asked Applejack if she had a room for Sophia and I, and there is no doubt in my mind that her family used oak.

Although. . . why am I surprised when punching a hole in the wall is common? These walls are were made with one-inch sheets of wood.

My thoughts stretched on and I kept thinking back to how easy it was for Sophia and I. I'd thought about being back home with our own people, in our nice apartment with New York to see when we wake up and go to sleep. It was easy maintaining my job and acting both roles of parenthood. I did not have to worry about the things I do now. All I had to do was make sure Sophia was happy and safe.

But. . . why is it so hard?

A couple minutes of these stressful thinking passed before I heard a knock at my door. I was still deep thinking about my self-pity before her voice brought me back.

"Zane, mind if I come in?"

I did not have to guess who that was. I gave a slight quirk of my brow as I stared at the door opening without my consent. Out of every conversation we have, this was the first time she asked to enter my room. I gave a deep sigh as I answered. "It's not like you're going to stay if I tell you no."

The door swung open and Umbra stepped inside before closing the door. She stared at me, concern glowing on her face. "Feel like having somepony to talk too, or are you still having a tantrum?"

I gave a deep huff as I looked away from the mare. "What makes you think you're any better? You get pissed off at the smallest of things; hell, you ranted about Sophia going through your things."

She came closer with intention to get some talk out of me. You could say that I know how she works during my time of distress. The two of us laid back on the bed, the sound of birds chirping at my window before Umbra ignited their tail feathers. I can't say she's wrong for getting them out of the way when we're both in need of silence, but she could have taken the better approach. The atmosphere between us was pretty heavy as we were distracted by the same thought going through out heads.

How did I know we were thinking the same thing. I didn't. I was just guessing and found my assumption correct when she rolled into my side. I was still too distracted by her methodical action to see, or feel the dark mare's hooves wrap around me. The thing that brought me back to Umbra was when her snout buried in my neck. Her warmth was nice and I hugged her barrel just as we found a comfortable position. Weird to say that I enjoyed having Umbra almost on top of me. It reminded me of when Luna did the same thing every night, but the feeling was not the same.

It was different. . . in a good way. I could honestly say that I did not feel so empty inside.

Umbra took the pillow beneath me and split the space. I felt her hind legs rub across my feet, before she settled with locking them around my ankles. "Do you still want Luna and Celestia back in your life?" She gave a heavy sigh as she looked towards the picture on my dresser. The same picture Luna and I took when we took Sophia to Donut Joe's for her birthday party.

I did not answer, so we sat in silence again. Umbra did not have to deal with me and my problems, she could leave me to vent towards myself. She could go out and find herself a stallion that's not as complicated as me, but she didn't. She stayed right here. I was starting to wonder the depth of her interest in me.

I turned away from the picture as I spoke. "I don't know what I want right now. I have so much going through my head that it's almost impossible to keep track of it all."

"I did not ask you what is on your mind, nor did I want to know how you feel. I asked you a simple 'yes' or 'no' question," Umbra said sternly.

I looked down to see the mare looking up to me with worry. "Nice to know that you don't care. But why is my desire more important than what I have going through my head or what I feel?"

I was given a small poke to my chest as she sat up. "Because I confessed to you a couple hour ago and Cadance is pressing to have you give those jerks another chance. The last thing I want is to become a rebound mare if you were to see them again."

I laughed at that one, though more hollow than filling. "Rebounds are not my style, but I guess I want them back in my life." I rubbed my forehead and exhaled my frustration. "I don't know. I guess some part of me hopes that Alex will fuck up and they will come running to me. But we both know that is never going to happen because—"

"Because he is an alicorn and you are not." She got me there, though a little too bluntly. "You're a man who refuses to change, so you became the boy toy while Alex became an alicorn for them."

I gave a slow nod as I stared up to the ceiling. "There's no better way to interpret. I get to be who I am while my brother trades his entire life for luxury."

"But you didn't," she tiled her head at me. "Why?"

I sat up and crossed my arms in thought, trying to think the best way to explain my decision. I could think of ten reasons in an instant as to why I declined becoming an alicorn, and the next answer was better than the last one. Thinking very deeply through every answer, I grasped the one that made the best of my person. "I like to wake up in the morning and see that I am still a man. Every time I look in the mirror I hear mind tell me that I am more of a man than Alex. That no matter how bad things get, I see a man who will not trade his pride for a good life."

She have out a deep giggle at seeing me smile at myself in the mirror on my wall. "I'm not one to agree, but I can make an exception on that. You are more of a 'man' than Alex, and that is what I like about you."

"You like me for my pride?" I asked, listening to the mare closely as she hugged me from behind.

She gave a warm smile as she nuzzled my cheek. "There are lots of other reasons, but pride is not the word." She put on her best duck-face, thinking aloud. Glad to say I was hypnotized by that face. "The better word is appreciation."

I raised a brow at her reflection in confusion. "Appreciation that I am still myself?"

She nodded. "Yeah, that's it. You appreciate who and what you are. You appreciate it so much that you hold onto yourself, and that is what draws me to you. You won't let anypony or anything make you think about changing."

I cracked a smile to the dark mare looking at me so happily. I chuckled lightly as we fell back on the bed, though with her as my pillow. I let out a heavy breath as I realize what is touching the back of my neck, and by god, did I feel awkward in this position. I was certain that her immortality would make 'certain' parts of her remain old, but there was no mistaking how sharp those teats were. I was only given a moment to accept this positon before she crossed her hind legs, locking me in place.

She ruffled my hair to her heart's content as I listened to her giggling. "It would be so easy to suffocate you right now. I could squeeze a little tighter and you would fall asleep with no idea what I would do to you."

I looked up to Umbra bemusedly as she used her magic to pull my arms, immobilizing everything but my legs. She licked my forehead as I let her have some fun with me. It's not like I was in danger anyway. She always does this to me to get some kind of reaction that involves fear or rebellion. Given that she was reformed but not completely purified, I'd say there is still a mischief mare underneath the kind and caring mask she was wearing.

"I could put your arms behind your back and make you kneel before me," Umbra continued in an husky sigh, licking her lips hungrily. I knew where this was going and went along with it. It's not like I did not want to have a dark unicorn being seductive with me. "Or better yet, I could strip you of your clothes and make you lick me clean. Yeah, and you could call me master."

I chuckled in thought as I imagined myself licking her clean, from head to hoof and no part of her left untouched. Not even the royal parts would be left unattended. It seemed like being in a relationship with Umbra was going to be the most interesting one I've had. I was certain that Umbra would make the relationship I had with Celestia and Luna seem like child's play. She noticed that I was thinking about her statement, but did not say anything I waited for her to react. I had previous thoughts of Umbra and I experiencing the more kinky side of things, but that's the least of what I have experienced with her.

I've seen her naked. And by naked I mean I have walked in the bathroom and caught her masturbating to the self-portrait Rarity made at the request of Celestia having my picture framed on the family wall.

Good god, that was horrifying back then; especially when she told me to get out or finish her off. Wait, that would mean had feelings for me before we became friends.

I winced at my surprise growth when I paused on her marehood fully exposed that day. I was a little ashamed, but I did not give her the satisfaction of being attractive enough to turn me on. Instead, I played her game.

"How about 'queen' or 'mistress'?" I asked in a calm tone. That seemed to have gotten through her, and in a really good way. She looked down at me with this 'Oh' look to her before releasing me. Once her legs came undone, I rolled over and took advantage of the situation by pouncing on her.

Umbra's eyes went wide as she felt my chest crash on hers. Not only did I rock the boat of our conversation, but I nearly drove my lips into hers without control. I watched as Umbra stared up to me in shock before I buried myself in her neck. She yelped as I nipped her, probably alarming the others downstairs.

"I have a better one; how about I call you 'My Monster'?" I asked, snuggling the flabbergasted mare as I held her tightly. "Because that is what you are to me. You're my sexy, adorable, and loving monster."

Strangely, my statement was not an insult to the unicorn. My spine shivered a little when I felt her hoof running up and down with no end. My conscience was still trying to tell me that I had just called my marefriend a monster. My monster, but a monster nonetheless. I was expecting her to kick the shit out of me or tell me to go fuck myself, but she did not say a word for quite some time. The only response I got out of her was laughter and her hooves tightening around my torso.

When Umbra did speak, her voice pulled me out of my expectation as she spoke softly. "Your monster?" She pondered, humming to herself as we heard what might be footsteps coming up the stairs. Finally she nodded; at least I think she did. It felt from how we were snuggling that she did. "I hate it when I'm called a monster, but I like the sound of that. It sounds strong, like you are proud to have a mare like me."

"You're a one of a kind." I laughed lightly, receiving a smack to the back of my head. It did not hurt at all, but I knew I was talking too much after that. I decided to shut my eyes and milk how long we have before someone comes looking for us. My body started to feel numb and I was certain I would fall asleep on Umbra.

Sadly, our moment of togetherness was disturbed when the door flew open. My eyes shot open as I rolled off the bed with Umbra. I was still trying to process that I had planted my face into the floor with the dark unicorn sitting on my head, but the culprit was already approaching us. I was muttering the most profane words any man can say in front of a lady, pushing Umbra off my head as fast as I could. Once I was on my feet, I shook off the throbbing in my nose, giving me a little time to see my daughter glaring at me. She clenched her teeth after taking a short step back.

I looked over to Umbra still recovering as Shining Armor entered the room with his upset wife spreading tears across her snout. I looked back to her and felt some guilt by words as Sophia clenched her fists.

"You made Miss Cady cry!" Sophia screamed furiously, frightening not only me but Umbra as well. "You made her cry even when she wanted to help!"

I gave a nervous chuckle as I stared at the pink princess. "I did not think my words would hurt you that much. I really did not mean to hurt your feelings that much, Cadance."

"Well you did," she sniffled, wiping her nose. "And it hurt alot. I just wanted to help you."

I realized that I had dropped the ball big time as her big bro. . . and that I made the biggest mistake in my life. I put my hands up in front of me and tried to approach to repair some of the damage. "Cadance, I'm really sorry for hurting your feelings. I went overboard and—"

"No excuses for hurting Miss Cady!" Sophia screamed, retracting her right arm. "Take your punishment and repent."

I looked down at her and cocked a brow in confusion. "Okay, where are learning to talk like—"

"SHORYUKEN!" She roared as her arm launched, fist tightened and fire in her eyes. I had no time to react when I saw where her uppercut was going.

Suddenly the world seemed to be gone as my legs buckled under me and every nerve in my body locked up tighter than one of Shining Armor's suits. I became disoriented and agonized quietly as the light of my day became black in an instant. Darkness seemed to consume me before I could process Twilight, Shining, Cadance, and Umbra surrounding me while my daughter stomped out of the room. I felt my breakfast trying to come back up as they rolled me onto my back, prying my hands from my groin with all their might.

"Zane, can you hear!?" Shining barked, shaking me. "Zane, you've gotta move your hands. You have to let us see!"

"Where in the world did she develop such behavior?" Twilight asked as I watched her stared at my junk. Her eyes went wide as I released the longest squeak a man can breathe.

Cadance and Umbra were too busy pulling arms apart to say anything, but I could have sworn that I was hearing angels sing as I lost conscious.

Maybe. I don't know. The last thing I heard before blackness took over was Sophia yelling. "K.O!"

Chapter V

"Is he. . . be. . .alright?"

"There's. . . swelling. . . over!"

"Zane. . . alright. . . pal!"

"Get. . . now. . .before. . .

"Oh no. . .of. . . burst!

I opened my eyes and shot up to find myself lying in a medical bed and wearing a hospital gown. Looking down, I noticed Umbra was fast asleep at the end of the bed, with my jacket in her hooves. I wanted to smile, but my mind brought me back to the lifeless feeling I had between my legs. I remembered Sophia punching my balls before I passed out from the pain. I drifted through my thoughts as the hollow feeling down there worried me.

I can't believe she did that to me; and all because I snapped on Cadance for trying to play 'love doctor'.

I had to add the facts together to realize that Sophia did enough damage that I had to be admitted in a hospital. The only question was "which hospital am I in?" I'm definitely not at Ponyville Hospital; if I was then I would have the same thing when I was hospitalized in the beginning for my heart condition, a sickly green room with Nurse Redheart trying to feed me a hayburger with some other junk I can't remember.

The world was spinning a little as I rubbed my head. Everything felt like a blur while the scent of air freshener and lavender in the blankets gave me a mild headache.

"I have to get up."

I made the attempt of clambering out of bed to use the bathroom. I wanted to know if any part of me was gone or altered, and the only reflective surface in this room was the bathroom mirror. Plus I really needed to get feeling back in my legs; there is nothing worse than the tingling sensation I get when sit for too long. It's drives me up the wall.

Slowly and carefully, I turned ninety degrees to my left and extended my legs to the floor. I was about to make contact with the tiled floor when my crotch flared and throbbed. I cringed and clenched my teeth while the pain travelled to my stomach. My lower half locked up as I twisted back into bed and curled into a ball. I went to press the crown jewels and quietly cry it out, but my palms slid over a thick fabric that stuck to everything that makes me a man.

The pain was still there as I realized what the fabric meant. Horror spread across my face as I lifted the bandages, the terror almost too much to bear.

These are thick gauze wraps, but that would mean I had. . .

As I feared for the worst, I quickly turned to Umbra rising from her slumber, rubbing her eyes and yawning adorably. She smacked her lips a few times and looked around the room with drowsy eyes before saying, "I guess they left with Sophia."

Finally, she turned her gaze to me, and gasped as soon as me being awake processed in her head.

"Zane, you're awake now." she said in a hesitant voice, which did nothing but make the situation worse.

All of a sudden I watched the unicorn leap at me and wrap her hooves around my torso. But before I could do anything, she pushes down and proceeds to kiss me multiple times on both cheeks.

I looked up to yell at her, but her expression stopped me.

She seemed to be. . . in tears. . . as if I had she had not seen me in months or perhaps years.

Umbra dug into my neck and nuzzled it relentlessly, her breathing breaking in joy as she whimpered.

"The doctors were not sure if you were going to make it." She stuttered, her voice stuck between happiness and fear.

"Umbra, what happened after I Sophia punched me?" I asked seriously, holding her back before she could give me rug burn. Damn mare can nuzzle third degree burn onto a dragon if she tried.

Her breathing slowed at this, and before I could shake her for giving me silence she begins breaking down in my arms. She whimpered in her own pity and bit her lip hard, holding onto my arms.

There was that shitty feeling again, the sense of dread.

It was too familiar. . .

"After you passed out, Shining Armor checked you." She answered in a low voice, her tears falling faster as I listened. "Next thing we know is he teleported with you and leaves Cadance and Twilight with Sophia and I. He came back a few hours to tell us he took you to Canterlot Medical Center."

That did not make any sense at all. In my mind I was thinking long and hard as to why Shining Armor would suddenly bring me here on his own according.

"What, was he worried that I would die?" I chuckled, though I should not have done so. Next thing I know is I'm being stared down by the mare with the most intense glare any pony could have. I'd thought Cosmica's glare was scary, but Umbra took that title in the blink of an eye with the aura in her eyes intensifying.

"You were going to die, you bucking moron!" She growled, her voice deep and as hateful as the punch to my arm. "One of your testicles burst, and that made your body flood itself with adrenaline. You were already in shock by the time the surgeons started on you. They even used Shining Armor as a conductor to amplify the spells they used to save your life!"

Before I could say something to that, the infuriated mare came forward and dug into my shoulder, her fangs sinking deep. . . until I screamed like a little girl.

Upon biting me, blood is lapped from skin as she retreats, her tongue smooth and silky. A few whimpers from the unicorn escape while I froze in shock more than I should have from the sting.

She rested on that same shoulder after licking her lips. "That's for being such a moron. . ." she whispered. "Buck, I must be desperate that I fell for you."

I snapped out of my shock when I heard her say those words. As if on cue or perhaps it being my nature, I hold her tightly and stroke her mane to take away her sorrow. I was never good at this kind of thing, however; at least not with Umbra. Comforting her is the same as understanding her; it's so damn complex and confusing.

"Having the best taste in guys does not make you desperate," I whispered in her ear. "It just makes you a picky mare that won't settle for any average stallion."

She seemed to laugh naturally when I gave her the same punishment. As if it wasn't bad enough to be humiliated by my own daughter, this piece of work decides to giggle after I bite her on the neck.

"You've got a long way to go before you can turn me on like that." She said alluringly.

We were quite content being alone in this room for some reason. It was odd that everything felt so natural between, and we could tell that we weren't afraid to be ourselves. Even if it was being in a hospital room, there was no disturbance or uncomfortable feeling caught between Umbra and I.

"So where is Sophia?" I asked casually.

Umbra seemed to snap out of her happiness when I asked that question. As if something terrible happened, she smiled sheepishly and spun a hoof through her mane.

"Well. . ." She paused, her eyes being all I need to know there was some kind of secret.

Throughout the months, I have come to understand that Umbra is very good at lying. But she has one major flaw that always gives her away, and it is undeniable. She can tell me I'm not right or I'm losing my mind, but I am no damn fool when it comes to secrets or lies.

"Umbra," I drawled. "Where is my little girl?"

I did my utmost to not lose my cool as she scooted away.

"They're down in the cafeteria. Sophia had not eaten all day. But the thing is, I kind of suggested that Cadance and Shining Armor take Sophia to the Crystal Empire for the week." She replied with difficulty, before ducking with her hooves over her head. Clearly she thought I was going to hurt her or something.

"You suggested that my daughter be sent my daughter with Cadance and Shining Armor for the entire week?" I asked a little more aggressively. It appeared that for whatever reason she was happy to send her away.

"I just thought it would be a good idea for you and I to have some time alone and for Sophia to think about what she did." She blurted in a panic before catching herself screaming. Thankfully she calmed down and used a better tone.

She hung her head as if ashamed while the door slowly opened. "I'm sorry. I saw this as an opportunity for you and I to do things without her in the picture; at least for a week."

I looked down to meet the mare's gaze and smiled at her warmly. Instinct took over as I caressed her man, chuckling at the tingling sensation that ran through my fingers as I did so. Slowly but surely I was beginning to see from her perspective how difficult it would be for her and I to have a relationship while Sophia is around. I'm not saying she is a hindrance, just a setback that will get between us whenever she wants. Relationships require time and the couple to have some companionship that goes without a third wheel.

"Just let me be awake for when you do something like." I said calmly.

Umbra scoffed at this and turned away as if disgusted by my answer.

"There you go again with your 'nice-guy' attitude." She groaned honestly. "Seriously, there must be a problem with your head. Nopony is that nice."

I looked at her with a friendly smile, making her more uncomfortable as I pulled her close. It was funny to feel her struggle as someone entered the room. I was so caught up in tormenting the unicorn I failed to see who it was that approached with a gift in magic.

"You're so easy to tease."

"Bite me." She snapped, before finding a comfortable spot in my lap to pout.

I relished the warmth of Umbra's body and her poutiness. It was like having Celestia's and Luna's magic seep into everything I was and give me a little peace.

Except it was better than the both of them put together. Much better.

I had missed this feeling so much. But I should have known that it would not have lasted with two princesses at my sides, especially when my brother always takes what makes me happy.

"You're so much better than Celestia and Luna put together." I told her in the faintest whisper, an inquisitive smile on my lips while she blushed and the visitor drew my attention to him. It was not easy to think that such a pony would be here in such a place for my well-being, but it gave me a good reminder that there is one god in this world I can call my family. And when I say god I mean he is a god who can turn the seas in the blink of an eye, but that's not how I see him.

With absolutely no regard for what Umbra and I have going on, the stallion moves from behind his gift and greets with a warm smile. Said smile was the best thing I had to look forward to in the term of family.

"Well you certainly look more chipper than the last time I saw you."

I turned to the stallion who'd draped my back with his wing, his eyes and horn swimming with an ocean of history and power. Awkward silence filled between us. The alicorn kept smiling whilst leaning in to nuzzle my cheek. Deep in the back of my own mind, joy fueled the beginning of a much needed family reunion. Once I'd thought about it, I broke the silence for my own pleasure.

"Dad?"

"Even though I separated from Cosmica you still call me that;" he said in a hardy voice, though a little more lively than I would want. I could not blame him though, not when his own daughters won't call him that. He made no reservation in self-control as he draped Umbra in his other wing, pulling us both so close that we almost fell off the bed.

"It's good to see you again Zane."

I had this very dumbfound look on my face while he released us. I was so stunned to see the only alicorn I like stand before me and act like my best friend. I had not seen him ever since he found out Cosmica was in on Celestia and Luna having an affair with Alex. He was so enraged when word spread of my leave, that he forced Cosmica to choose between me and Alex. Sadly, I was not on the good end of the stick. Neither was she.

"Dad, what are you doing here?" I asked.

"I told him," Umbra chirped, receiving a confused look from me. She appeared proud to have informed him.

"What, you can't expect me to not to tell Terra." She said defensively. "He's the only one that actually gives a crap about. Plus he can keep your situation from getting out to the public."

"There's only so much I can do to keep my ex-wife, daughters, and your bastard brother from knowing." Dad added with a roll of his eyes.

That is what made me respect the stallion, his sense of right and wrong. Being a god or a king did not matter to him when Cosmica made the choice of keeping Alex. I don't know what happened between them, but while I stayed at Fluttershy's house, he showed up to tell me he was leaving and that I would be better off living my own life. As weird as it was to have Terra be the last pony I expect to help me, he came through in the end. Of course there are some complications with having a god for a father, but I keep those things to myself so Umbra and Sophia don't have to worry.

"You told my father that I was in the hospital," I said skeptically.

Umbra turned to the stallion and pat his side while he unwrapped the gift basket. I wasn't surprised to see more fruit than sweets; that's the biggest pet peeve I had with the stallion. You cannot have anything sweet, not even a damn piece of candy, without him getting in my face to tell me that I'd better brush my teeth after I finish. Still, no matter how annoying it can be, he was the only one that showed real care for Sophia and I during his visits.

Unfortunately, said visits became less and less as multiple after Cosmica announced that Terra was "attacked in the middle of the night and inflicted with a curse".

Boy, I never thought about how hard life must be for him. But that doesn't explain how he bought the gift basket. Where the hell did he get the money?

Terra approached to hand—well hoof me a red apple, though with a little force. He made sure that I took the fruit and bit into the apple before grabbing one for himself and Umbra.

"Eat that before the nurse comes to give you hospital lunch. And trust me when I say the food here is not any better than it is in Ponyville."

Reluctantly, I chow down and ignore the feeling of not being hungry.

"So how long have I been in here?" I asked through my mouthful. I had to swallow it and take another bite to not invoke his glare.

"You've been in the hospital for two days now." Umbra answered, rubbing my right thigh tenderly.

"The doctors sought to inform Cosmica of admitting you, but Umbra was quick to send a letter." Terra said as he nuzzled the mare. To my shock, she enjoyed the affection. "You should be thankful that she told me."

He leaned away from her and gave me a mischievous grin. "By the way, when did you and Umbra become mates?"

I turned a new shade of red and gulped. I had no idea what to say or how I should explain to him that Umbra and I became thing; and it did not help that he was looking at me that way while the door opened again. It would have been easier if he was around more often, but the last time I saw him was maybe a month ago. Our relationship was already so thin that it made some things very difficult, like talking to him about who I am dating. I didn't know how he would react, especially to Umbra being my. . . marefriend.

I inhaled a deep breath as I leaned over to look past him. Approaching from Terra's right side was a pony I'd never seen before, and she was looking at me with a mixture of curiosity and excitement. Her entire figure was different from a regular earth pony—Shit, she was different from an alicorn! She was as tall as Terra if not shorter, her coat was similar to Fluttershy's, butterscotch if not a bright yellow. But she was not trimmed nor groomed like any regular pony, her fur was fluffed around the chest area; even her hooves had hair around them.

She was almost intimidating to me, and to Umbra the most. I barely glimpsed at the tall earth pony before my marefriend locked her hooves around my torso and groaned at the pony.

I looked at Terra without any hesitance as the mysterious pony steps too close to him.

"Dad, who is that?"

Terra does not express restraint in his enthusiasm. As soon as I had asked that question, he draped a wing over the mare and kissed her cheek.

"This is one of high council members," he replied whilst nuzzling the pony, making her giggle. "She is the speaker for Norweigh and my mate."

"A pleasure to meet you, son of Terra." She said in a deeply accent. She held her hoof out, and I took it in my hand. We shook, though my side was regretful on the account of her strength. "My name is Lady Spice, and I hope that you will come to accept what we have to offer you."

"Zane," I answered then looked up to Terra, my held tilted a little and an eyebrow raised. "And offer me?"

For the first time in my life I witnessed Terra blush and laugh nervously.

"About that. . ." he coughed to clear his throat before regaining his composure. Now he was himself, the stallion that possessed a deadly serious gaze "I was going to send you a letter sometime next month to prepare you, but since we are here now, we may as well tell you."

"Tell me what?"

Lady Spice was the one to step forward and tell me.

"Zane, I understand from what Terra has told about your situation. You are betrayed and struggling to give this mare and your daughter a good life, but nopony wishes to give her a second chance, and the hardship rests on you. Such kindness is not unseen by us, nor is it ignored."

"Which is why I have requested with the entire council to give you an audience." Said the alicorn.

"An audience for what?" Umbra asked, her eyes glowing with concern.

Lady Spice smiled warmly.

"To offer you the position of Equestria's Speaker."

I could not believe what I had just heard. I sat in silence for a couple of minutes with my jaw hanging and went to Umbra for help. She was just as shocked though, her eyes were as big as dinner as she stared at the unicorn. I wasn't sure if she had the same feeling, but I was having a serious conflict inside me as I contemplate the idea. There were some thoughts I did not have control over and those things are the reasons I fear myself. This was no different than when I wanted to murder Alex in the beginning. If this was really happening to me, then I had the opportunity to do something that would be bigger than becoming the king of Equestria.

I laugh in disbelief and run a hand through my hair, believing enough and feeling that it was not a dream. It felt so good. Oddly enough, it was as if god answered my prayers. But how could that happen? What would make me worthy of such an opportunity? Was there perhaps another reason behind it?

I looked up to both ponies and, with one big breath I found the courage and took the chance.

"You want me to be the representative for Equestria?" I asked. "Why?"

"Your actions are the reason why." Lady Spice answered. "We are looking for somepony that will step in when something foul is amuck and do what is right. You are that somepony."

"You didn't think I was going to let you work hard to survive, did you?" Dad mused while I laid back in bed. I blinked with so much uncertainty as he put his hoof on my chest. "Son, I favored you over your brother because I know you are the better stallion. I know that you do not need to be different to be great."

I laughed at him and shook my head.

"Now you're just trying to bullshit with me."

"No, I am not." He pressed on my chest, and it got my attention. "Zane, you have no idea how much the council is interested in you. They are impressed by you giving Umbra a second chance and throwing away your royalty when you discovered your brother stole my daughters from you. Your sense of right and wrong is the wisdom they want in that empty seat."

I sat there for a few moments looking at him. There were some reasons for me to decline, but the fact was I'd be saying goodbye to the very few friends I had and Twilight would be without a secretary. Sophia had some friends, but none of them would brave coming over since Umbra lived with us. How could I make a decision right now? Then again the benefit of leaving this kingdom for a better start in life did come to mind many times. I could do many things that would benefit so many ponies. I could be in a position that would put me above my brother.

I could not decide what I should do. I looked to Umbra for the answer, but she was expecting me to say something.

"Dad, as much as I want to leave this place and put all of this in Alex's face, I can't decide right now."

Terra nods his head and takes the pressure off my chest.

"I'd thought you might say something like that, which is why we're going to wait for a month. I'm sorry to say that we're mainly here on request to try and convince you. But that doesn't mean I am not worried about you."

"I know dad," I chuckled. "But I need time to think."

"No. You do not need time to think." Another voice said behind Terra, her tone aggressive and desperate. We looked towards the door and saw in the doorway the last pony I expected to talk like that.

"Twilight," Umbra and I said in unison while she approached, pushing between Terra and Lady Spice, with Cadance and Shining Armor behind her, and Sophia on his back.

She reared up and leaned into me, inches between her and I.

"You're going to that audience."

I tried to lean away, but there was no room.

"Why would I go?"

A slightly evil grin crept her face.

"Because I would love to see the look on Celestia's and Luna's faces when they see the man they cheated on is part of the council. Plus we want the same thing, we want Alex to feel inferior to you, even when he is made king."

"Hold on, the teacher's pet wants to see them suffer?" Umbra asked, stunned yet skeptic. "Are you sure you're Twilight Sparkle?"

Twilight's grin shifted into a cocky one.

"Princess Celestia is a second mother to me, and Luna is practically a sister. But I lost all respect for those two when they chose Alex for his appearance."

She turned her gaze back to me.

"Also, I was planning on replacing you if we started dating. So this offer they have for you helps out as well."

"Are you serious?" I barked, receiving a nod from her.

"I'm sorry, but you mixed up my schedule too many times."

I looked up to ceiling and took in a deep breath, my eyes burning with anger as she tried to tell me that we were still good friends but she needs somepony who can do the job right.

"FUCKING HELL!"

Chapter VI

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter VII

Author's Note

And you all thought this story was dead.

Nope. It just took me a little longer to get another chapter out.

Enjoy.

Chapter VII

I AM A BONA FIDE, not give a shit man. . . so it was very humiliating to be stripped of my gown and shoved onto a table by a heated nurse who about lost her temper at the sight of Umbra. I landed on my ass, of course, and winced as she finished with the whole procedure and crumpled and some of her papers. The only grace of this procedure was having my father in the room to keep things at a dull roar.

"Any problems?" Terra asked, minding not a damn bit that Umbra forced herself in this room.

Maybe he was enjoying how we acted around one another?

My hands were resting underneath my thighs. I had this terrible urge to ask if the nurse was going to take me to dinner after doing the turn-and-cough with me. I mean, come on—it's Nurse Redheart who has to suffer through this as much as me, but at least she doesn't have a methodical ex-queen for a marefriend.

I got to my feet as soon as I had the chance, feeling shaky and somewhat ill from the food they serve in this joint. My chest was applied with more bandages from the magical shock extremes they took to restart my heart. It was streaked with burnt blood, and my ass was itching from sitting down so much.

"How much longer until this is over?" I asked with an irritated voice, drifting to my marefriend, who was having the time of her life by gendering at the more sensitive regions you would see on a naked man.

If I wasn't nervous then, I was nervous now. This was the first time in years that I had a female see me without a shread of clothing. Not even Celestia and Luna got to see me in the nude when we were dating. The most they got was a simple drop of the pants after some foreplay.

I had an acute, innate sense of perverseness with Umbra, so after a minute of looking from her I turned and yelped pathetically with my hands flailing for a moment as the pain in my ass cheek began to sting.

"Firm flanks," Umbra said with a grin and bedroom eyes, making me and Redheart uncomfortable. "Guess all that manual labor does payoff."

Once the pain went away I reached for her ear to pull on it a little, but I realized in my moment of poor impulse that I was giving the unicorn what she wanted. A man with his hands on his junk to block the cold and a mare that has the hots for him, my brain clicked and it suddenly felt really warm in the room.

Of course, that led me to looking down where she was and see that her eyes were locked on the privates, because I had everything hanging out and flopping like there was no room for care or shame. I had gone crimson at that point and spun away with little patience for Redheart to hurry up with this checkup.

Unfortuantely. . .

"Not a bad size," she complimented, which did not help a damn bit. "Could be a little longer, but you have some girth."

This whole terrible conversatin ended with me having a moment of anger to actually retaliate with the unicorn. Terra had fallen flat on his ass and bellowed with laughter. Even the professional Redheart had a few snickers behind that clipboard.

I growled like a rabid hound after looking over my shoulder. My eye twitched, and then I grabbed my gown as the white mare held it in her hoof for me to take.

"You can forget about any intimacy after that remark," I said angrily whilst shielding the world of my naked body, scowling at the proud mare. If only the strings in the back were longer. "You don't tell a guy that kind of stuff."

"I was just being honest with you," she told me with faux innocence, pretending to be hurt. I knew better than to fall for those fake tears and quivering lip—and let's not forget that I WAS PISSED OFF!

"Can't handle the truth. . . sweetie?" Now she was going too far, and it wasn't even noon yet.

Welcome to the high life of dating an ex-criminal I suppose. I did try my hardest. I really tried to ignore the pony rubbing on me after I retained some bit of decency through my clothes.

Ignoring. I gave it my best after sitting down and shutting the mare out. But this was a pony whose main source of fun and happy-time came from the rage and misery of having her as a roommate; and what's worse is the fact that I am her coltfriend now. After a few minutes of playing the silent game—though one-sided since she can't shut her damn mouth—I'd given into the unicorn giving me the best puppy look she could muster from inside that methodical and sadistic heart of hers, and pretended to not care that was humiliating me in front of my father, who by the way, was snickering behind his wing.

"Shut the hell up!" I spat venomously at the asshole alicon.

"Nope." He draped the same wing over my back while we waited for the doctor to give me a release. I was more than ready to get the hell out of here and go eat some real food. He snickered again as Umbra rested her head in my lap, giving me a quivering lip.

"Seems to me that your marefriend is desperate for your attention. Perhaps I should leave so you two can have a some alone time before Doctor Horse comes back."

I drew in a breath and did what any man would. I looked down at the pony and cringed before my eyes widened at the idea of being alone with Umbra. As soon as he made his way to the door, I could see the horror.

"Don't leave me in here with this monster!"

"This is the only moment of peace you've had with just you and her," he said comically, receiving my glare of death. "Son, it's not going to kill you to spend a few minutes alone with your mare."

"EASY FOR YOU TO SAY." I screamed, giving the stallion his first honor of being flipped off by a human. "YOU'RE NOT THE ONE WHO HAS A HEART CONDITION!"

"Play nice~" he mused, closing the door behind him in a slow fashion.

"YOU FUCKING TRAITOR!"

I was now alone with Umbra and vulnerable and fearing for my life, but something was very wrong here. She went quiet and still with that mysterious look in her eyes as we sat there with expectancy of the doctor returning soon. I'd thought it was her turn to play hard-to-get, but then I realized how upset she was by the way she sighed in my lap.

Must have been her façade we were seeing. . .But seriously, is she really upset?

Despite my conscience relentlessly telling this is just Umbra, I decided to try the good coltfriend act and take some interest in those despairing eyes.

"Anything you want to talk about before the doctor comes back? You've more annoying than usual ever since I woke up in that hospital room."

She giggled at this and rubbed her hoof against my knee in reassurance, I think, all tension rapidly dying between us as she looked to the wall.

"You scared the crap out of me Zane," she whispered, nuzzling the side of my knee affectionately. "One minute you're on the ground with Shining Armor listening to your chest, the next minute you're not breathing and he's taking you away."

"Well it was a scary moment for everyone." I told her calmly, care seeping into my words. "Moments like these do happen often. This is the fourth time I've been hospitalized in the last five years."

"But it's a first for me!" She snarled angrily, shocking me and some nurses that were close enough to the window. I had no idea Umbra could be this angry or upset, and I was learning the hard way through the sudden tears from her.

"You may be used to it, but I'm not!" She exploded furiously, jumping off the floor and rearing up to my eye level with her hooves sliding my chair to the wall. I had yet to realize my head hitting said wall as she berated me.

"I finally have a reason to be happy. A bucking reason to smile and not hate this world for giving me a second chance. And here I saw my happiness sitting in a bed with a bunch of freaking needles in his skin and his eyes not opening. How do think I felt when I saw that!? What do you think went through my head!?"

By this point Umbra was panting quite desperately, emotional exhaustion plastered all over her face as her tears flowed onto my shirt.

"I blamed myself for it." She sobbed heavily, burying herself in the crook of my neck. "I believed that I was to blame for what happened, because I torment you so much. I bother you in the worst ways I can think of, just to get your attention."

As her breathing slowed down and the nurses continued peeking through the window, their faces pressed against the glass like some climatic romance series too good to miss. . .

A single cry of pain from her, causing for me to think how selfish it was of me to play cool about this when I should have been concerned for her.

Umbra seemed like a totally different mare from her two masks, neither the bitch she can be when around others or the caring pony when we are alone.

"I can't lose you."

Such a simple mutter in my head, yet it stabbed at my heart to comfort her.

"I'm sorry Umbra," I instinctively wrapped my arms around her, a moment that which unlocked the flood gates and her tears overflowed.

"You better be sorry. You stupid prick. . ."

I blinked at that insult in some shock, before chuckling in her mane. Perhaps it was heartwarming to hear the bitterness in her words, or how heavy she weighed her emotions on me. . . but that is something I always found comforting. Like my ex-wife, she weighed everything on me so that I could pick up the pieces and put them back together.

Perhaps that was my purpose in this world. To help a broken mare learn.

She knew I had deep care for her. . . and damn near abused it for her own amusement.

"Why does it have be you?" She asked frustratingly, wiping her tears away with my shit. My eyes were still locked and I couldn't pry from looking at this elegant mare, but I could almost feel her emotions molding my heart for reasons.

"Would you prefer it wasn't me?" I asked jokingly.

And it was with that question I gave myself the answer I did not expect. Umbra had taken me by the back of my hair and jerked me onto my knees for a kiss that shocked the crowd. She quickly rammed her tongue into my mouth and moaned, giggling somewhat when I wrestled the muscle for dominance. She pushed harder and forced me completely against the wall, yet she did not take advantage or abuse me like I expected. She explored my mouth like there was some treasure to be found. We both moaned and flicked and caressed every second of this moment to the gasps of every nurse and doctor gasping or passing out.

My hands were deep in her mane, massaging it tenderly without moving to where I wanted to touch her the most, although only by the fact that I was not going to get a handful of her ass without there being consequences.

Umbra it seemed was more sure of this relationship. She retreated her muzzle away from me and fell into my lap with my hands shaken to her back. Said fall did far more than mold us on the floor however, although I did try my utmost to find a comfortable spot. With my hands subconsciously moving to her flanks, something she seemed find enjoyable if her giggles meant anything, Umbra moved her muzzle into my stomach and started nipping the left side.

It was. . . calming, odd but better than what Celestia and Luna did.

"If you your hands get any closer to my flanks, I'll bite your penis off and give it to Twilight for her research of your anatomy."

I could only estimate that the speed of my hands retreating into my pockets must have been at least a millisecond. But as I continued to sit there with Umbra resting on me, one of her hoofs grabbed my rear and traced to my hardening bulge. She instantly stopped nibbling at the feeling and smirked evilly like the monster she becomes when entertained. She leaned up and brought her lips to mine rather seductively, her tongue lapping the upper part of my mouth so gently.

"Don't worry lover boy, you'll get to touch all of me after a few dates." She said breathlessly to my lips, licking my lower lip. "By the way, that was a nice package down there."

I growled in the mare's mane as she finished laughing in my waist, the care I had for her going out the door as fast as her ability to stand up when the door began to open. I was quickly snapped out of the growing anger to her comment and brought to my feet before the doctor entered.

A part of me was a little peeved by the hypocrisy this pony has for grabbing someone's ass while Doctor Horse made a quick slash of his clipboard. At the same time however, I kind of liked having Umbra like that; where no boundaries are met in most relationships, she made them and was intentionally doing it to make me earn her.

I wasn't the kind of guy to take up the challenge of earning a handful of Umbra's ass, but something about her sparked me, something I'd thought long dead when Sophia and I were abandoned.

To my surprise as we waited, said unicorn made an effort to irk the staff still watching. And she did it with a whimsical smile whilst curling around my waist, her tongue lashing across her lips in provocative manner.

"Sorry boys and girls," she cooed, nuzzling my side. "But your soap opera is over. My stallion and I must keep the adult stuff in the bedroom."

I merely slapped my own forehead in realization, although I was secretly overjoyed at the revelation of Umbra's intentions.

She's trying to fool them into thinking this was to give them a show. . .

It hurt me to know how embarrassing it was for them to see us like that.

"Come on doc," Umbra complained. "Don't you have better things to do than keep us here?"

Horse looked over his clipboard with a look that spoke ill will towards the obnoxious mare. Even I cringed on the inside when the click of his pen retracted it, and he hadn't said a damn word to us yet.

"Maybe I should run some more tests," he replied, his cold frown cracking into a malicious grin directed at Umbra. . .

Who exhaled annoyingly in the midst of dragging her hooves over her eyes. It was only a matter before someone got an insult or a loose cannon punch.

Well it just goes to show that dating an ex-criminal can have some consequences—some bad and some good, but mostly bad.

"I hate hospitals."

"Welcome to the club," I snipped.

. . .

"Everything go alright?" Terra asked as Umbra and I made a quick exit. I was finally free to go out and get a damn meal that did not consist of Umbra bitching to the nurses that I can't digest it.

Who am I to complain? She's just looking out for me like a real marefriend would do. I can't say the same about Celestia or Luna, they did not exactly accompany me during checkups or give me surprise visits when I was sick or injured. Even as friends I didn't have the honor of either mare paying me a visit.

Probably because of Alex. . .

"Tolerable," we said together before Terra's lovely marefriend approached me.

"He is better!" Lady Spice chirped in her freaky accent, pulling me into a bone-crushing hug.

I wheezed and unwillingly listened to what must have been my spine cracking like a domino effect, from atop to the lower region, only to hug her in return so that I could pat her back. I was submitting to defeat, but I doubted that dad told how fragile the human body can be compared a pony that felt like she'd taken steroids.

He smile filled my blurry vision. Said pony was cooing to me, a very large grin adorning her hay-covered lips while Umbra yelled at her to let me go.

"I give," I wheezed dryly. "You win. . . can't . . . breathe. . ."

Finally the overexcited mare dropped me on my ass and apologized for nearly crushing, admitting that in her country the mares spend most of their days working on farms.

"No shit," I rebuked, regaining my footing when she pulled me up. "And here I thought you were on some sort of steroid."

She cocked an eyebrow quickly before tilting her head and brushing my face of the hay that she got on me.

"What is this steroid you speak of?" She inquired curiously. "Is that your dry humor your father told me about?"

"Let's go with that." I said, rolling my eyes to Terra as he looked away. His little act of playing dumb needed serious improvement. Seriously, nothing says guilty like looking away and whistling a tune.

"Dry humor?" I drawled, crossing my arms at the stallion.

He just stood there and turned his attention to anything he could find as a means of escape.

Yeah. . . good try dad, but you can't bullshit a bullshitter. I may not be all-powerful or have lived so long that dirt is young, but I can tell when you're talking behind my back.

I think the sun moved an inch before he found something to change the subject.

"Would you look at that?" He pointed at the restaurant directly across from Rarity's old boutique. "How about we go get a bite to eat? Spice and I have been snacking on hay bars all day and need some real food."

This is supposed to be the most powerful and influential alicorn in existence. . . yeah, why do get the feeling I'm not seeing the bigger picture of this pony?

"As long you're buying, I don't care." I told my father, patting him on the back.

Chapter VIII

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter I

Author's Note

Okay, before we get to the actual chapter, I just want to be clear that this is going to be no longer that 3-5 chapters. So do not assume that I am writing another story that is going to take me forever to finish, because it is not.

Other than that, I do hope you enjoy and will leave your thoughts on it by commenting.

Stay Pony my friends.

Chapter I

My yawn started slow as the creak in my eyes started. But the energy of one hungry lump on my side shot them open and forced said yawn out of me.

"Wake up daddy!"

"Geez." I wheezed, and quickly pushed the lump to my side, air returning to my lungs after a full ten seconds of coughing. To my right side was the most beautiful girl in her pajamas and her favorite stuffed animal in her left arm. She was sitting on her knees, and had given me a smooch on the cheek as the covers were thrown off.

"Get up, daddy. It's Saturday." she said loudly...and possibly a bit too lively for a good morning.

I scratched my chest and groaned when she pulled the blinds to let in Celestia's sunlight. The warm beams gave me a harsh wake-up call with enough rays to make my eyes squint. I hissed to the morning peace of Ponyville as the townsfolk went on with their Saturday morning in the middle of Fall.

Normally I'd just get up and go about things with a small smile, but today was one of two days I get off from working in Twilight's castle as her personal secretary, so to have my sleep broken by this girl made it hard not to hate everything there is about being a father.

I look over to the clock. My eyes go as flat as my care for early mornings.

"Sophia," I groan, spinning onto my stomach and falling into the pillow. "It's only seven o'clock. Daddy had a rough week and needs his rest."

Usually I would be up at six and already cooking breakfast for us, but today is my only day off during the week, and by god I was going to enjoy it with a little more sleep. Sunday is the special even for every dad that understands what I am going through. It is like enjoying the silence in your home when you are alone and sitting in your recliner, watching the SuperBowl start.

That's my kind of Sunday...or it was until I had a daughter.

"Get up, get up, get up." Sophia continued to bounce on my back, trying her best to irritate me. Her usual method of waking me up would be the alarm clock going off or making up some lie about a fire in the house or a burglar stealing our things; or so it would be if I did not threaten to ground her for the rest of her life.

She started whimpering in my neck as she pulled my hair. I groan in the pillow again and try to ignore the painful tugs Sophia repeated, hoping that maybe, just maybe, daddy would win this battle.

"Sophia..." I started.

"I want us to go play outside, please." she begged, using her best tone to increase the cuteness her mother taught her. " Please daddy. Mommy would make you get up and take me outside if she was here."

"Yeah, if she was here." I said lightly, the thought of her being gone making it hard for me to process that we are alone.

I silently curse to the memory and force myself out of bed. Sophia was right about her mother making me get up this damn early, and upon getting up she would smack me over the head for making our daughter cry when I told her no. Don't get me wrong, my wife was a beautiful and loving woman that kept me in line and treated me with as much care as Sophia. Whenever our little girl was fine she would come find me and make sure that I was not feeling down or neglected, which was very rare in our marriage.

But that changed on the day she left us for another man, a man that makes a shit load of money in the Industrial Business. She was the whole reason I found the strength to love another, and the same poison that destroyed my ability to find another. After the divorce I took Sophia home and decided to drink until my heart stops. My little girl, however, was fast enough to sober me up with the reality check I needed after losing my job.

Her mother, Layla, was in the same department as me but better at numbers, so the CEO fired me and gave me ten minutes to pack my things and exit the building. He knew I was going to make a scene, he knew I was going to blame Layla, but stopped me by having security at every corner.

Ever since that day I have not been myself. I have avoided females like they are some sort of disease and focused entirely on my job and daughter. It went very well, mind you, but for some odd reason I found myself whisked away to a land that my daughter wished for upon a shooting star.

Seriously god, where is my wish?

Oh and get this...Sophia also wished that I would find true love with someone that will be faithful to me and be her mommy forever. Well that was somehow twisted up in the mind of karma and made into the most annoying predicament a man can have in his life.

I said some choice words to that memory. See, apparently in Equestria there is little to no marriages for the simple fact that stallions are nothing but man-whores. The mares are left to tend with the foal and become both parents throughout its childhood while the father goes about his business, fucking two to three mares every heat cycle, and resuming their lives like nothing happened.

The most respectable ponies I can honestly say are Mr. and Mrs. Cake, Shining Armor and Cadance, and Twilight's parents. They have stuck together and raised their foals like parents should, so my respect goes to them.

Unfortunately it was Cadance I first met when Sophia and I wound up in Equestria (The Crystal Empire to be exact), and she just happened to be the friendliest mare in this entire world. She just could not understand where Sophia's mother was and why I was still around raising her, educating her, protecting her like a mother does for their foal.

It astounded her that I am not like other males, that a dad is still around for his little one when the foal would just be put in an orphanage. It just went to show that Shining Armor had a big job to fill when that pony pushed out twins. If anything happened to Cadance he would be left to take of them or get rid of them.

I knew he would not, but still it astounded his wife that a single father is keeping his little one and raising her. The compliments were pretty awesome, but the word of a male raising his daughter, by himself, mind you, spread faster than when Sophia develops a rash from Peanut Butter.

Thank god she only gets a rash. If she had the reactions like most children, I'd be unable to save her, and these ponies don't know how to treat an allergic reaction.

Well when word spread across The Crystal Empire, it spread across the entire country and came back with a full force of the most annoying, single, lovestruck mares. I get why Big Macintosh stays away from mares and minds his own business, but dammit could he just help me out by taking some of their attention from me!?

If you get where I'm going with this, then sit back because it gets weirder from here.

You know how so many bronies write about an OC hooking up with a princess? Take SaiyanUltima for example; that bastard needs to chill on his stories. His writing is okay, his passion is a little creepy, but good god that man needs to get his head on straight and write about another pony.

That's my view though.

Well after having a friendly meeting with all of the princesses, including Sparkle Butt herself, they deemed me as a nonthreatening person and gave us citizenship in Equestria. Twilight, however, sought to study me and see how humans act in nature, before offering me the position as her advisor and secretary.

Royalty in some perspective, but I don't see it like that, nor do I abuse that power. I do my job, pay for what I buy, live my life as a normal man, and go about things like nothing has changed.

Except for one thing, of course, the irritating, annoying, frustrating, pain in my ass, daily event of-

"Daddy. Miss Umbra is awake."

"Alright, baby. I'll be down in a minute." I yelled from my bathroom, brushing my teeth while putting on some deodorant. I had taken a shower last night, so it was not necessary for me to bathe right now.

Umbra...Oh where do I start with her? Well the beginning of this fucked up life will do better than nothing. Actually, after making a new life in Ponyville I came across Twilight and her friends and found myself in the most awkward situations a man should not deal with. The princesses were the exact same way, until my brother somehow found himself trapped in this world. After he showed up and made his spot in this world, things went downhill for me.

Umbra, however, was the first real friend I made; the simple fact is we met at the Crystal Empire, after her defeat and reformation by The Crystal Heart. She was The Unicorn Queen that enslaved the Crystal Ponies a thousand years ago, but through some weird defeat of The Crystal Heart she has become the newest villain that is working to change what the other ponies think about her.

But for now, she is the bitch that won't leave me alone or stop giving me crap. Now don't assume that I am gay or I will punch you in the balls. I know you're thinking we have some hate-love relationship, but we don't and we never will. Umbra is probably number one in my list of ponies, this excluding the princesses, but she has this tendency to be very assertive.

Anyway. Umbra has worked her way to being an aunt to Sophia, but she does so with the advantage of being a girl. However, when Sophia is not around to see us talk, Umbra shows her true colors to me, just like every damn mare that is in need of a man that will be faithful.

Only one problem. Umbra is the biggest bitch and pain in my ass, and possibly the first pony I am going to murder.

Why can't fate stick me in a world that is mute?

And why the fuck is Sombra actually a girl in this reality!?

She gives me crap every time she sees me. Every sentence starts cruel and hateful, then ends in some flirtatious way, which is just a fucked up joke because she knows I'm lonely. Now you're probably asking, 'Why the hell do you put up with her?' Think about it like this: If you were left for another man and thrown into a world of ponies afterward, you'd be a little leery of everything that is happening. But it just so happens that males with children, single fathers, mind you, are the fucking godsend in this world.

In other words, mares are crazy about a guy like me because I am somewhat settled into having a family. This gives them ample opportunity to take the chance with yours truly.

Anyway. As far as things go between me and Umbra, she is the only pony I can trust right now, the only one that has not stabbed me in the back, and I just don't have it in me to be around someone that is clingy and most likely psychotic about love.

As for the backstabbing part. Well let's just say I hate my brother, the princesses, and every fucking one of those ass clowns they call The Main Six.

But that is for later on in this story.

Where was I? Oh yeah, Umbra. She is the opposite of what I deal with, she is a hateful, mean, crabby mare that calls me ugly once a week, but it is better than nothing. It's a nightmare that never ends, and Sophia has the privilege of seeing me exhaust myself to the bone. But at least I have her to keep me on my toes.

Speaking of nightmares, I had yet to put my shirt on when a furry, black hoof smacked the back of my head. I was still brushing my teeth, and this mare took it upon herself to invade my room and smack me so hard that I choked on my toothpaste.

At least Colgate makes toothpaste that is not poisonous if swallowed.

"What the hell is taking you so long?" she flicks my ear as I spit out the toothpaste. "Slugs move faster than you. Scratch that, Derpy is faster than you, and she's handicapped."

I wash out my mouth out and glare up to the divine beauty behind me. Her smile has always been something I look forward too, but today I was not in the mood to have Miss Bitchy stand in my personal bubble and give me hell. Today is already going to be tough for me, and the last thing I need is her making it worse.

"You're lucky I like you!" I yell, only to entrap myself.

"Oh you do, huh?" Umbra coos seductively. "Well thank you sweetie, but I don't date someone that is foaming from the mouth, and has such a messy mane."

"It's fucking toothpaste, and you're one talk about messy hair. Yours hasn't seen a comb in ages!"

"Yes, but I'm sexy with that style. Now hurry up and finish, because Sophia and I are hungry."

Damn, she's as beautiful as I remember when I saved her furry ass. That's the only reason I have not taken my size twelve and shoved it up her ass.

Don't get me wrong. She's beautiful, as always, but annoying and sometimes the last pony I want to see. Still, I cannot help but feel a little proud of myself for stopping Cadance and the others from destroying her. If it wasn't for me getting between them after The Crystal Heart stopped her, I don't think there would be a mare like this.

"How many times must I endure your invasion of my privacy?" I begin like always, but with a different mare every day. Usually I'm stuck with someone saying hello, but most of the mares know by now that I am not going to mingle. "You just keep barging into my room to give me some sort of reason to hate you, right?." She just giggled and squeezed my chest like its her property, and then nipped my neck a couple of times.

Bitch! You know that is only for couples, and I do not like you that much!

"Oh come on, Zane." she pouted (more like cruelly teased to piss me off), "How can you say that to a mare like me? I'm just having a little fun with getting up and at it."

I pinched the bridge of my nose and pushed her away. "Would you just leave me alone, please? I have enough problems with my brother and every mare hitting on me."

"But what's the fun in that?." she asked while sitting on the toilet, (No, not taking a shit, you damn perverts), "If I don't bother you, you'll be a real drag when your brother arrives. Speaking of which; are you two talking again?"

"No, we're not talking, and you know why," I began sigh with impatience as last year's fiasco played in my memory again. "I have nothing to say to that piece of shit, and I sure as hell have no desire to make amends with him."

"Seriously?" Umbra said flatly, "You're just gonna hate him for the rest of your life because he stole Luna from you."

"Yup," I quipped nonchalantly, "He's nothing to me, and everyone around him is a fucking traitor. That's how I like it, and that's how it's going to be for the rest of my life."

As far as it goes to have a little grudge with someone, my grudge with my older brother goes much deeper than it should.

...

There was no anger to feel...just words. Cosmica, the mare who took us in, and Celestia, daughter of Cosmica, stood with me as my older brother gasped with Luna, releasing his essence into her womb after I barged into my room to pack Sophia and I's things. I was done with this family bullshit that Cosmica keeps talking about, done with living in a place that is nothing more than a prison.

I had enough of Cosmica favoring Alex, so I decided to leave and live on my own with my daughter. But this happened, and now I had no reason to look back, no reason to love...to care what happens to my brother.

Silence was the only answer that came first. But soon after I grabbed my bags, ignoring Alex's wing on my arm, I proceeded to leave the high life for a much more reasonable one.

Luna's expression was in every meaning of the word: Desperate. She didn't know what to do when I threw my engagement ring on the floor and stormed out of the bedroom. But at hearing the ring bounce across the floor, whatever played through her mind simply turned into meaningless words of reassurance.

"Beloved, please let me explain my actions and think this through!" she pleaded in my direction, heartbroken tears streaming down her muzzle upon seeing me carry my worried daughter out of her bedroom. "Zane, we-I am so sorry. I should have rejected when he came to me about being what you are not. I love you with all my heart, so please stop and let us talk through this!"

"There is nothing to talk about, and you do not love me!" I replied scathingly, tears falling past my chin as I pushed her aside. "If you did love me, you would not have lied on your back and take my brother's cock up your cunt."

She took my hand and thrust herself unto me, vinegar in her lips than the sweetness of black berries. I felt nothing that comes close to what was my love for her, my mind blank with bitterness at this moment. Alex just stood there and watched, a worried expression adorning his new face.

For himself?

For Luna and I to work this out?

No, to see how weak I am when it comes to the touch of a mare. Well I was not going to give him the satisfaction of Luna and I staying together while he fucks her behind my back.

"Zane I beg of you to give me a chance to fix this." Luna pleaded silently...desperately. "You are the one I love, the one that is my heart."

There it was...Alex's arrogant smile...that darkness about him.

It was nothing that bothered me when we were kids I suppose, but eventually he overstepped his boundaries and continued so with little care of what I felt. I began to feel more like his doormat than his little brother, and he knew of it from how I would look at him so incredulously. He rarely allowed me to have a love of my life, a woman to call my girlfriend, but it always ended in his bed.

I can still hear Luna's cries of ecstasy right now.

Well no more...

"I trusted you, I fell in love with you, I even trusted you to become Sophia's mother, and you betrayed me for him. And now you get to live with that worthless fucktard and be his mate, because I will not stay with a mare that cheated on me."

"Zane...no...please don't..."

I felt both of her wings curl around my free arm to gently pull me back into the bedroom, but after realizing how much my brother is going to torment me, even when she knows that he does, I pulled away, tightened my other arm around my slowly panicking daughter and made my way out of this life for good.

...

"You don't know what I went through when that happened." I said dryly against the mirror, catching a small glimpse of hurt in Umbra's eyes as she looked away.

"Daddy," I hear Sophia yelling downstairs. "I'm hungry, and I want to outside to play."

"Alright babygirl, I'm coming!" I yell.

After turning to the unicorn, I take in a deep breath and compose myself for the day that is ahead of me. She says not a thing when I do, and then follows me downstairs to the kitchen.

It was cold and silent between us, but I am for certain that I heard her whisper something. It almost sounded like she was being affectionate with me, or just fucking me as usual.

"I would not cheat on you."

Perhaps I'm losing my mind from all the work lately. I don't know, but at least I have someone to keep me sane by treating me no different than the average citizen.

Anyway. Now that I was in the kitchen with my daughter and Miss Dark Butt taking their places at the table, I began cooking breakfast by grabbing a few ingredients out of the fridge. It was not much, not in my perspective, but what I have in here was plenty for me to make a breakfast for six ponies. That however is just me thinking with my stomach. I have a very high metabolism, so eating is not so normal with a guy like me.

"So what is on the menu today?" I ask both girls as the eggs crack in the bowl, prepping to mix what I know will require eggs in it.

"Scrambled eggs, bacon, and french toast." Sophia chirped.

"Make that two." Umbra added.

"Okay, and what would you like to drink?"

"Orange Juice."

"You."

I drop the last egg into the mixing bowl, a scowl of pure evil as my expression.

"UMBRA! QUIT THAT SHIT!"

I had hoped that she would at least give me one morning without her being a flirt or a smartass, but, alas, she has the gall to be a bitch. And unfortunately, she decides to give me more trouble that is only going to end with me having something I cannot remove so easily, if you know what I mean.

It's okay though, Sophia just laughs at me every time Umbra gets under my skin. I should be more aware of what I say, but this furry bitch keeps pissing me off.

"Make me." she retorts playfully, tongue sticking out as she winks. "Oh wait a second, I forgot, you're not into-"

I grab the hatchet out of the cupboard, blade as sharp as a scalpel. "FINISH THAT SENTENCE AND I'LL REMOVE SOMETHING YOU CAN'T GET BACK!"

"Daddy's blushing." my daughter giggles, which only makes it worse. "I think he likes you, Miss Umbra."

"I think so too, kiddo." Umbra muses, her tone so mocking that it eats me away.

"Great, now I have my daughter against me!"

"Daddy, why don't you go on a date with Miss Umbra?" Sophia asks, thus my day is already shot.

"Because he is too afraid to ask, sweetie. Plus he probably forgot how to take someone on a date." Umbra guffaws on the table, hoof slamming so hard it dents the wood.

"SHUT UP!"

Chapter II

"Are you done, Umbra!?" I demanded, my eyes riveted to the dark unicorn with seething rage.

"I'm never done, not when it comes to you." Umbra said with a coy smile. Oh how I want to plant my foot in her ass, but she'd probably like it and ask for the other thing. "Besides, you haven't been this lively since your brother took Celestia and Luna from you. I figure you need a little motivation."

"And what makes you think I need motivation from the former Unicorn Queen?" I asked so angrily that she giggled. I could feel her surprise as my daughter watched us.

"Daddy, you need to take your medication like the doctor said." Sophia reminded me. And once again she is right. I have to take my heart medication after breakfast. Otherwise, my heart goes on the fritz from the rush of blood and lack of electrical discharge.

You see, I was born with a dangerous condition that is too hard to pronounce or spell, so I'll just stick with my idiotic term, Skip Syndrome. My heart is healthy and perfectly normal, but the nerves that collect electricity inside the lower chamber build up too much and cause my heart to beat erratically when I'm under stress or illness. Exercise is okay, just as long as I don't overdo it. Emotions, such as anger, rage, or sadness seem to be the only problem that occurs before I feel my chest collapse and lock up.

The only problem with all of this is I can actually die from my heart skipping too many beats. Adrenaline is key to a man's survival from a mild heart attack, but with my condition it gets worse. In other words, one short burst of adrenaline could put me in a hospital or a coffin. And that is the last thing I need.

I reached into the cupboard above my kitchen sink and took out a small purple bottle. "Another day of staying Bruce Banner," I chuckled, before dropping a blue pill into one hand and tossing it into my mouth.

Sophia glared at me as the bacon sizzled on the skillet.

Embracing the defeat of my daughter's tedious care, I filled a large glass of water and said, "I know. I know. Take the pill with a big glass of water."

"Good daddy," she chirped.

Seriously, since when did my little girl become the warden of my life?

"Yeah, and don't forget to take your fiber pills," Umbra added in a mock tone, her lips puckered so as to piss me off even more. "We wouldn't want you to have a bad bowel movement today."

Reaching for the rolling pin across the countertop, I held it up and growled, "Keep it up, lady, and I'll shove this where the sun doesn't not shine on your gorgeous ass!"

Umbra held a hoof to her muzzle and replied in a seductive tone, "Oh, so you do find me irresistible. Now why is it that you are attracted to a mare like me?"

I failed to realize the fuel I gave for her fire, until now, and slapped myself on the forehead for it. Geez, I had to be a complete moron to have given Umbra more firepower. Now there was no stopping her from teasing and tormenting me with my no-longer secret infatuation for her.

Why do I find her beautiful in the first place? She's the fucking tyrant that enslaved the Crystal Ponies for over a millennia, before succumbing to the Crystal Heart's power. She has physically and mentally traumatized the citizens with her power and influence, and here I am finding her to be one of the sexiest mares in all of Equestria.

Did I hit my head this morning?

I pondered this for a little longer, ignoring the laughter of my daughter and that wretched beast of a pony. How can I possibly find her attractive?

You can keep staring or come over here and "play" with me.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. She has so many similarities to Layla.

Umbra walked up to me and waved her hoof as I thought about Layla. Her smile was still bright and warm from enjoyment of messing with me. "Hello. Equestria to Zane. You're zoning out a little too much this morning."

"Would you give me a minute to have some peace of mind, or is that too hard for you to comprehend?" I snapped.

Her smile faded, as did my anger. "I was just checking to make sure you were still with us. Sheesh, calm down and loosen up a little. It's not like you have anything better to do."

As much as I wanted to yell and cuss her out for being such a bitch, I stayed my tongue and looked away whilst realizing how hurtful it was for me to insult her intelligence. That was the last thing she needed to hear from me, especially when the reason behind it is her adjustment to the current timeline.

Ever since Umbra turned over a new leaf, ponies do the damn best to push her buttons. No matter where we go there would be some jackass that has the audacity to spew words or throw food at her, announcing to the world that the fallen Unicorn Queen is with me because I pity her. Mare or stallion, I have to hear the townsfolk call her ugly, old, or a stupid horse that will never learn to be a real pony.

Stupid is the worse of it all, because she has no idea the current events and culture of this world. At least I'm there to back her up, but I don't how much longer my ex-mother, the Queen of Equestria, Cosmica, is going to allow me the allowance of breaking a few noses before they shut up.

"Fuck," I whispered severely to no one but myself as I smacked my forehead. "Listen, Umbra. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say—"

"Oh no, you said what is on your mind. You can't take it back now." Umbra said in a low tone as she glared at me from the table. As if it wasn't bad enough already, I had my daughter giving me the stink-eye.

"Come on. I said I was sorry, so can we—"

"You said what was on your mind," she went on, pretending to cry. "I just thought you were a much more understanding stallion, but I was a fool to believe that the one who took me in would enjoy the merriment I bring in this house."

"Merriment!?" I gawked, before thrusting a finger at her. "The only merriment you ever bring is me having to cool my head off because you like to flirt and tease me to death." I turn to Sophia and feel my skin crawl with humiliation. "And why am I binging this up in front of my daughter!?"

Grabbing her plate, Sophia giggled on her way upstairs. "I'll just go eat breakfast in my room."

While I waited for her door to shut, I took a seat at the table, careful where I stepped since Sophia made a little mess with the pancake syrup. There wasn't much to say when Umbra I stared at one another, just the usual silence of me being pissed off while she shifts emotions to express her victory. I scanned her every movement. I watched and waited for her to say or do something that will make me go off the deep end. I wanted that too. I wanted her to go too far so that I may bring her back down from her throne of childish manipulation.

Sloppily pressed against that chair like a deadman that took his last breath, I hardened my mind and body and glared at the smiling unicorn with anticipation of her next move being the key to MY victory.

Suddenly her smile was replaced with a frown, and that confident attitude became a timid display of her rubbing one hoof very nervously. "You really don't like me, do you?"

Well that threw me off guard. I almost gasped.

I did not want to calm down, my body resisting the urge to take deep breaths. God, she looked so much like my ex-wife. So confident and ready. Yet, when we're alone, the smallest indication of me being hateful would make her quiver. Layla always changed when it was her and I, alone. Now Umbra is doing the same thing, and I have no way to counter it.

I was the bad guy, and I feel like a piece of shit for mistreating her all morning.

Regrettably—if that is the best word for what I am feeling�—I moved to her left and sighed deeply whilst moving my hand through my hair. I had so little to say after that, but it is not true. I do not hate her, not at all.

"It's not that I do not like you," I began. Yeah, way to sum up what your feeling, dumbass. "It's just that I. . .I. . .I don't know, Umbra. I like you, very much. Your shenanigans, however, just make me feel uncomfortable because. . .because. . ."

Why did I suddenly get nervous?

"Because you're afraid to love someone." She said, before placing a hoof on my hand, her grip squeezing but tender and. . .loving. As much as I want to deny that accusation. . . I can't, because she's right.

"You're not really angry, just pretending to be for your own sake." She continued. "Alex took Celestia from you, and that damaged your trust in others. But when he took Luna, and Andromeda allowed it to happen, you lost all of your reason to trust and love someone."

She could not have been so right in her entire life, and that is what frightens me.

I looked up to the ceiling and closed my eyes, unable to deny the truth. "Yeah, you're right. But there is one thing you forgot to add, and it is the most vital piece of this ordeal."

Umbra cocked an eyebrow at me. "What is that?"

I chuckled, although I don't know why. "That I hate my brother with every fiber of my body. I hate him to the very core, because he always steals the girl from me. He did in high school, and he's done it with Celestia and Luna."

When she was silent and slightly disturbed by my answer, I pulled my hand away, then crossed my arms out of habit. "Yeah. . ." I sighed. "Alex may be my older brother, but I hate him. If I saw him burning alive in the middle of town, I would walk by him without batting an eye. I wouldn't even piss on him."

"I highly doubt you can hate your brother that much." she said skeptically. But ignorance is bliss.

"Let's put it this way, he's stolen two mares from me and embraced becoming an Alicorn so that he may acquire the throne. He is the good child for becoming a pony, while I live as the black sheep that refuses to change." I moved closer to her. The glare in my eye said all she needed to know, I believe. "And let me ask you this; in the last year of me leaving that family, has Cosmica stopped by to see if Sophia and I are doing alright?"

Umbra did not say a word, rather accept the facts for what they are. Thank god she did, because I did not have it in me to go on about being the shadow of the Royal Family.

Unfortunately, she was not done.

"Well you can hate him from a distance and still find a good mare to spend your life with," she said with slight enthusiasm.

"Oh really," I mused like a smartass. "Now why would I want to do that when the only thing that will happen is her dumping me or Alex stealing her from me?"

"You cannot use your brother as an excuse," she said drolly. "And there is somepony out there that wants you for you. You just haven't realized how close she is."

I shook my head and laughed, although I shouldn't have. "Umbra, there is not a mare in this world that can be faithful and make me happy."

She shot a deep glare and growled, which made me cringe a little since she still has control over dark magic. Her influence, however, is just gone. "You really believe that no mare in this entire world will be faithful to you?"

"Hey, it's a fact."

"Not even Rainbow Dash, the Element of Loyalty."

"That's for friendship, not love."

Umbra slipped a little closer to me and pursed her lips. We were touching side-to-side, nearly breathing on one another, but I was still in a laughing fit as she closed in.

"You're not the bad stallion you think you are," she added. "You're one of very few that most mares spend years trying to find."

At this point, tears were falling as tried to get myself under control. I wasn't upset or sad, but the thought of being in relationship with Rainbow Dash seemed too funny to ignore. Come on, me dating the biggest ego in Equestria?

Nope. Sorry, Rainbow Dash.

"It is not funny!"

"Oh it's a little funny!"

Finally she slammed her hooves on the table, startling me almost out of my seat, before forcing me to look at her. "Zane, you have mares practically lined up at your door for one date with you. Even Twilight wants you because you're something most stallions are not. Unlike most stallions, who knock up mares and leave, you're a loyal father raising you're little girl by yourself."

I cocked an eyebrow at her, emphatically. "So?"

"So!?" she yelled. "Seriously, mares would kill to have a stallion like you in their life. It's so bucking rare to see a stallion stay with the mother of his foal, and all you have to say to that is SO!?"

I thought Umbra to be going overboard with this as I continued taking in details. I know she has a temper, but, damn—this girl is fired up today.

I looked away to avoid some of the saliva she is spewing onto my skin. "Are you done yet? I still have to clean up the kitchen."

"You're not even listening to me," she screamed.

We argued for a good thirty minutes, all the way to having the kitchen and living room spotless, and by the time I took my first breath of relaxation I had a headache and was completely annoyed of her. Umbra had provoked me into raising my voice, and the only other female who could routinely do that was. . . Layla.

"Why must everything be so difficult with you?" I asked as she sat in the chair.

"I want you to stop being such a mule and open up to me, " she said, while tapping on one of the armrests. "We've already been living in the same house for over a year."

A loud clap of thunder boomed over my house. And in this kind of weather?

"Why are you so adamant about me finding another mare?" I asked.

"Why are you such a thick-headed jackass?" she countered.

Jackass. Now that's a new one. Ponies don't know the foul language of the human race. Unless Umbra has been listening to me a little too much.

"All right, this doesn't make sense." I said. "You're not acting yourself. You've been a completely different mare since this started in the kitchen."

"No, you think." she said flatly.

Despair pressed against my heart. I was beginning to worry about her. "You've gone from being flirty and tormenting to this annoyed, caring pony, who is creeping me out at the moment. Seriously, what the hell is your problem, Umbra?"

Silence, again. When it feel I looked up from the floor and saw Umbra standing in front of me, as another clap of thunder happened. She was glaring at me, somewhat adorably. I wasn't sure how such a face can be made by her, but the pouting did a real number on me. I was impressed and afraid, my anger already deflated.

"What must I do to get through that thick skull of yours?" she snapped, tears sparkling behind the dark aura. "You are the most dense, oblivious, dumbest stallion I have ever met in my entire life. And that's a long time, because I'm immortal!"

The hurt she expressed pricked my heart, and suddenly my entire world slowed down, coming into one focus. Umbra was crawling onto my legs, forcing me to lie back.

"You really are an idiot," she whispered with so much mirth.

I looked nervously around the room for Sophia to be in the room, but it was to my dismay she had yet to come downstairs. I was blushing—No, I was burning up from Umbra's fur rubbing against my skin. It felt so soft and warm, just like the first time she hugged me. We barely talked in the beginning, but a long winter drove her to me with unforgettable fervor. The snow reminded her of being imprisoned. Trapped inside a realm that has neither light nor darkness.

She petrified that night, believing my house to be an illusion the princesses made to torment her. I can still hear her crying. I can still feel her muzzle nestling in the crook of my neck when I embraced her without second thoughts.

I was a happy man when she demanded that I do not let her go. I was so happy to have her in my arms, because I felt something blossom between us, something I still don't understand.

I fell silent, my mind engaged in a fierce debate with my body. Umbra straddled me and blushed as her hooves worked around the back of my head, locking in place.

"Umbra, you—" What I was going to say ended in a yelp as Umbra caught my lips with hers and slipped her tongue inside. My eyes widened but hers closed as a shaft of divine pleasure shivered through, the pleasure she needed, and then she moaned hungrily.

I was frozen, my left hand locked onto the lower section of her back, and the right digging into her mane. It felt as though an entire field of stress and anxiety washed away and left nothing but a paradise long forgotten. My paradise.

I blinked and glanced around, before succumbing to the calming effect of this unexpected kiss. A slow retraction for air, Umbra pulled away and smiled as the saliva between us broke.

"Do I need to be more specific?" she asked huskily as I stared into her eyes, bewildered.

I wanted to say something; at least my conscience wanted me too. Instead, I followed that natural pull she has on me and dove into her neck.

This was so wrong on so many levels. And yet it felt so good. . .so right. . .so. . .perfect.

"Zane," she breathed as I began to lick and nibble. Groaning, she gently bit on my ear and snorted, fighting her urge to moan as my I traveled to the other side. When my hands fell and paused on her flanks to pay special attention, she pulled away and laughed erotically in my ear.

"You can touch all you want, but we're not going to breed anytime soon."—she grind against my leg—"You have to earn this plot, honey."

I grunted and tried to kiss her again, but held me away, turning her face to avoid my lips as added, "I don't think so, my darling. I'm the one in control."

Laughing at my blank expression, she then slid down to my body and drove straight for my neck, knowing it is my most sensitive spot. I could feel her teeth tickling yet burning through my focus and scorching every nerve with venomous sensation as I quietly moaned and groped her flanks.

Holy shit, her ass was so soft and plump I could barely hold back.

Pausing on the lick to chin, she glanced up to me and grinned. "Just to make sure we are both on the same page; there is no herding or sharing you. You're mine and mine alone, so I better not see another mare or I will rip her heart out and shove it down her throat."

As dark and twisted as that is, it turned me on.

I chuckled, with my head still inclined. "Don't worry. I'm a one mare kind of guy anyway."

The moment those words left my mouth, she smirked evilly and slipped her hooves under my shirt. I managed to shimmy out of my out of it and finger her pussy before slapped my arm.

"I told you no and I meant."—she nipped my ear—"Now be a good boy and show your true feelings to your queen."

Queen. . .Why am I not surprised?

When she then held on me tightly to not fall off, I felt my body tumble with her pushing me down and then put one of the pillows under my head. She managed to find a comfortable position in straddling my waist, before curling her tail around my leg. I was expecting Sophia to walk downstairs and catch us in our new moment.

But at the same time I was hoping she would not come out of her room.

We kissed again but gently. I held onto her back, half-expecting for her to roll us onto the floor, but instead, she slowly descended to my chest and wrestled my tongue. Only then did I massage her ass. When I ripped that soft moan from the mare she pulled away, saliva dripping, and to my pecks. I almost laughed at how gentle she was, kneading and plucking at my tender orbs as I hugged her tightly.

I bit my lip when she sucked on one, and then felt her stop and lie in my neck for a moment's peace. It was so sudden that I'd thought her to have passed out or seen Sophia, but she was still awake and my little girl can be heard upstairs, playing with her toys.

Thank god for magically soundproof walls and floors.

I blinked in uncertainty, noting that she was using her magic to levitate the extra blanket I keep in the corner basket.

I tilted my head. "Why did you stop?"

"I said you have to earn this plot, honey. And by earn I mean you have to take me on dates and claim me as your mare." she answered, and then snuggled under the blanket. "Besides, you haven't held me this close since last winter, and I want you to take a nap with me before—"

Whatever she was going to finish that sentence with ended at the sound of someone knocking at the door. As much as I wanted to yell at the pony who is ruining the moment I had to get up and answer the door. Unfortunately I had a good assumption as to who is at my doorstep so early in the morning.

Umbra growled as I stood up and approached, forgetting to put back on my shirt. "Somepony better be in labor or dying, because it is too early to be knocking on somepony's door and I was about to fall asleep in your neck."

I looked back and smiled, while opening the door. "You make it sound like we're a couple."

"I just made the first move, so we are a couple."

"True, but we are a starting couple." As weird as that sounded coming out of my mouth, it felt good.

Finally I look to who is in front of me, and, surprisingly, it is not my brother. I'd thought things already became awkward with Umbra kissing me, but this surpassed everything that's happened in the last couple of hours.

Why are they here?

Faster than lightning I feel a pair of pink hooves wrap tightly around my neck. "Zane-Zane!"

"Cadance?" I question, before regaining my balance to see who else is with her. "Shining Armor?"

Okay, for those who do not know about the affection the Princess of Love is giving me, just know that she has a weird perspective of seeing me as big brother. I'm not sure how that came about, but, ever since Sophia and I kept her company during Shining Armor's one week assignment in Canterlot, she's been acting like a filly around me.

"Morning, Zane." he said as I tried to pry Cadance from my neck.

"What are you doing here?" Umbra asked in an unfriendly tone, her eyes burning Cadance as she grit her teeth.

Oh crap. She really does mean about hurting or killing any mare that tries to come between us.

"We're here to see you," Cadance chirped. "We've got big news, and we wanted you to be the first to know."

"Okay, what is it?" I stared on as the pink alicorn squeezed tighter, cutting most of my oxygen. "Cadance, you're going to suffocate me if you don't stop."

Cadance loosed up, but not enough for me to break free. "Sorry, but I'm so excited and I have missed you so much. I haven't seen you since you left Canterlot to get away from what happened with Luna."

"Yes, well what is so important that you have to come over so unexpectedly?"

Shining Armor cleared his throat. "Will you tell him?"

Cadance nodded furiously. "Zane, we met a pegasus that is so much like you. And I believe she perfect for you."

I should have felt guilty for this, but, somehow, I did not feel a damn thing.

"I'm sorry, Cadance," I said calmly. "But I just got into a relationship with someone already?"

"Who?"

"ME!" Umbra screamed proudly.