Dashie and the Rainbow Factory

by Banana Prince

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Comedy
Length: 3918

See for yourself how Cloudsdale REALLY began rainbow production and Scootaloo's darkest adventure in this satire of "Rainbow Factory".

Ever since the banishment of Princess Luna, Cloudsdale's weather factory has been directing the weather, making rainbows, and keeping life in Equestria pleasant and beautiful.
…And it's all thanks to sacrificing children.
Yup. That's how they do it. Seriously.

Dive right in and discover how Cloudsdale really came to making rainbows and what's in store for Scootaloo as she unravels the truth.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-27 21:50:01 UTC

Dashie and the Rainbow Factory

--- 1,000 Years Ago ---

"I'm sorry, your highness." said the messenger, a bead of sweat rolling down his brow. "Now, did you say that Cloudsdale's now reponsible for making rainbows?"

"Yes I did." Celestia answered. "Now that Luna is banished, I have to control the moon along with controling the sun as well as maintaining Equestria. I have to pass on the responsiblity of stabilizing the weather onto Cloudsdale, lest I smother myself with duties. "

The pegasus understood. He could imagine how important it was for Celestia to put all of her focus on her work. It'd be terrible if she overlooks some internal issue and let's the kingdom be overrun or accidently brings the sun too close to Equestria. Still, she must be losing her mind if she actually expects Cloudsdale to figure out how to make rainbows to stabilize the weather. He would relay his suspicsions of Celestia going mad, but Celestia did just got finished blasting her sister to the moon. He figured that somepony will do something about the princess eventually, but right now, he had a message to carry to Cloudsdale.

Celestia's messenger flew all the way to the city in the sky and made his way to the council of pegasi who were just as shocked to hear about this situation. The task was daunting. Though, if they acomplish such a challenge, they could bring years of honor to Cloudsdale and favor from Celestia. History would hold the city and its inhabitants in reverence for centuries. The council decided that theu couldn't possibly let that opportunity go by.

Right away, the council sent the messenger to Cirrius Labs, the Cloudsdale company that made machines for the weather factory - which is really the only acomplishment they've made in years. There, the messenger relayed the task to Professor Cirrius, a stallion with a look of a sleepless, over-worked pony and a stained lab coat. Cirrius was filled with adreneline for it just so happened that he was discovering what made rainbows what they are: magic combined with an element called spectra. Cirrius immediately trotted off to the experiment room where he hoped to find his most trusted (and questionable) collegue, Star Catcher.

Star Catcher was in the lab by herself when he burst in through the door. She was hunched over a table and her muzzle covered in a white powder. Her wings fluttered and she quickly turned all the way around to Cirrius.

"Star Catcher, were you just... sniffing sugar?"

"Yeah..." she answered, her eyes darting left and right. "What do you want?"

"I have some good news - well sort of good. This is gonna sound crazy, but the council said we have to figure out how to make rainbows as soon as possible."

"No way..."

"The princess has to control the moon now, so we have to figure out how to stabilize the weather. This could be a big deal. Right now, we have to put our heads together and think about how we're going to make rainbows in an effective way."

Cirrius went over to a counter where his clipboard lay and began frantically writing down notes muttering to himself. Star Catcher only sat there, her eyes shifting this way and that, falling upon the ceiling or the window as they thought.

Star Catcher was thinking about how sudden it was that Celestia could ask of such a thing, but it's not like anypony could do a thing with her being a sun goddess and all. Suddenly she put a hoof over her mouth, snickering, a joke suddenly popping into her head.

"What? Do you have an idea?" Sirrius asked.

"Oh yeah... Well, what if we just take our children and sacrifice them for Celestia?"

Sirrius hesitated. His eyes widened, his jaw dropped, and his wings twitched at the very idea.

"That... is... brilliant!" Cirrius finally cried.

"It is?!" Star Catcher nearly shouted.

"Yes! Living ponies contain the components, spectra and magic, necessary for synethesizing rainbows. We could make a conversion machine that grinds those components out of ponies! That'd be great... We'd have the two components together as soon as we get them. Ooh, this is great! We could use this as an opportunity to weed out some of the foals from the local area! Yes!"

"What?"

"Oh. Not all of them. Just the sickly ones that can't move clouds. The council will like that." Cirrius explained, acting like the spitting image of a mad scientist. Star Catcher had never seen him act this way. She was about to speak up. "We're going to be so rich!" Star Catcher stayed quiet. "Let's go tell the council we've got this figured out and get building."

The council, upon hearing this was surprised. This method was not what they expected to hear at all. Sure, it was impressive enough that the researchers actually figured how to create rainbows in a timely fashion, but it was a hefty price.

...Though, in the long run, this process could transform Cloudsdale into a utopia of superior ponies, or word could spread of the gorey nature of the new method of rainbow production, causing a massive civil war within Equestria. They would have to keep it a secret.

After a while, the council decided that it was for the best that this method of rainbow manufacturing be employed. The all resolved to give Cirrius and Star Catcher an ample funding for the project which they accepted wtih eager.

"You know, I thought they'd at least try to see if there was another way." thought Star Catcher. Though, she was still a little high, she could see how much of a stupid idea this was.

"Well, Star Catcher, I never really try to understand politics." responded Cirrius. "But we have sacks of cash and that's all that matters."

--- 1,000 Years Later ---

It was a day of jubilation in Equestria. All throughout, ponies celebrated the return of Luna, princess of the night. Celestia, though she wished that she could spend more time with her sister, many procedures to complete before Luna could return to her position of power. Expending much of her energy, she stayed vigilant and focused, making sure that all of the paperwork was finished by nightfall.

"Princess Celestia!" chirped Twilight as she approached Celestia.

The princess put on her best smile, masking her fatigue. "Hello, my faithful student."

"I just wanted to thank you so much for sending me to Ponyville. "

"I knew it'd be for the best. I'd like to thank you for cleansing my sister."

"It was nothing. I can't wait to see how Equestria's going to change now that Luna's back - especially Cloudsdale."

A record-scratch went off in Celestia's mind. She shook her head.

"Excuse me?" asked Celestia.

"Oh. It's just that I remembered learning in school that Cloudsdale has to make rainbows because you had to raise the sun AND the moon on your own." Celestia sucked her teeth. Twilight reconized that guilty cue from whenever she would confront Spike about a burned book. "You ARE going to go back making rainbow, right princess?"

"Twilight, I'm going to be honest with you," Celestia spoke. "My horn gets kind of tired during the day after lifting the sun in the morning and I am getting kind of old."

Twilight raised a brow at the princess. "You do realize some ponies in Cloudsdale are going to be kind of pissed off about this?"

"You should be getting back to your new friends. I have paperwork to finish. Now remember, if the pegasi ask about the rainbows, then don't say anything. This stays our secret."

"Sure..." Normally she would go on about why this was immoral and stuff about Equestrian history, but after the day she's had, she was too tired to debate with Celestia. Instead, Twilight trotted off for home, happy now that she's helped to start a new era in Equestria, has five new best freinds, and on top of all that, she has blackmail material on Princess Celestia.

--- Several Months Later ---

"Yay! Cutie Mark Crusader Power Rangers!" cried the three fillies as they ran out into the playground.

Scootaloo rushed out in front of Applebloom and Sweetie Belle.

"I"m the red one!" Scootaloo proclaimed.

"Aww. Why do you get to be the red one?" asked Sweetie Belle.

"It's because I'm the fastest! The red one has to be real fast."

"You are not fast."

"She is!" Sweetie Belle interjecting suddenly. "I saw her practice her flying with Rainbow Dash. They raced and it turns out Scootaloo's faster!"

"There is no way that Rainbow Dash would lose Scootaloo."

Cheerilee came out of the school-house and walked up to Scootaloo.

"Scootaloo, you have to leave early today." said Cheerilee, much to the excitement of the little orange pegasus. Scootaloo began to run off. "Hold on now." Cheerilee said, stopping Scootaloo before she could leave. "The teacher in Cloudsdale said you have to take your flying exam."

Applebloom and Sweetie Belle looked at each other mutually confused. They knew about the flying exams that pegasi at a certain age have to take. They just assumed that Scootaloo didn't have to take the test being that she's kind of disabled with her under-developed wings and all. But, that didn't seem to make much sense seeing as how she's here in Ponyville with them. Surely she didn't fall off a cloud into a lake to get here.

"Yes!" exclaimed Scootaloo. "I'll show you how fast I am! I'll graduate and be back here in an hour!"

Scootaloo, with full confidence, took off into the sky towards the city in the clouds.

Applebloom slowly turned her head back to Sweetie Belle.

"I guess that makes me the red ranger now! Let's go find Babs. She can be the black ranger."

The city in the clouds was as vibrant and bright as ever. Everywhere she looked, Scootaloo saw friendly faces smiling back at her. Scootaloo carried on happily and trotted through the flying arena over in the distance.

Once inside the colosseum, Scootaloo was directed by a mare to a cloud where a groupd of other fillies sat waiting. Scootaloo then noticed something odd. The other fillies looked gloomy, the proctors were angry for some reason, and even the cloud she was standing on seemed darker than all of the other clouds. As weird as how quickly things got, she didn't think anything of it. She was too eager for the exam. She sat down next to a dusty brown colt with a short red mane.

"Hey." Scootaloo greeted. "Why's everypony so freaked out?"

"It's these Nazi ponies judging us." he whispered. "They're so in love with Cloudsdale's reputation, they ship off foals that don't pass."

"Oh come on… Everypony here's nice."

"Oh no. Look around. Sure - on the outside, it might look nice, but that's far from the truth. Something's going on."

The guards watching the two moved in closer. They eyed Orion closely, chilling her blood, making her sit up straight. One of them walked to the middle of the cloud and read the rules.

"Listen up!" he said. "We're here to see wether you are fit for the weather teams, or worthless dregs. I want you to listen to me right now... Fear does not exist in Cloudsdale! Pain does not exist in Cloudsdale! Defeat does not exist in Cloudsdale! If you don't think you you'll pass, you've already failed." He went on, listing all of the rules of the exam, letting everyone know how easy it is to fail - one of them actually being sneezing too hard.

"See?" whispered Orion.

"Oh come on. Most schools have pretty much same speech before a big test."

Later, Aurora was up. She was doing very good for a filly. Here and there she darted with the grace of a Wonderbolt. She flew so fast... until she managed to break her wing. Seeing that Aurora was in pain, Orion went down to make sure she was okay.

"Mercy is for the weak!" called one judge. "You fail!"

Scootaloo was moved by this act of kindness and flew down to be by their side.

"It's okay." said Scootaloo. "I'm here too. That's what friends do. If you two fail, then so do I."

Aurora and Orion paused to look at each other then back at Scootaloo.

"Do we know you?..." asked Orion.

Scootaloo, Orion, and Aurora were taken by chariot to the weather factory. The stallions taking them were very agressive and vulgar which was something very unusual in Equestria- ridiculous as some might say.

Eventually, the three were dragged down the front entrance of the weather factory. Suddenly being in the nice, lively atmosphere was actually a nice change of pace. There was sunshine glimmering from one side of the factory and it wrapped the fillies in soothing warmth.

They were meeted by a dark-red stallion wearing a lab coat. He walked up to each of them and shook their hooves.

"Good evening!" said the pegasus. "Allow me to introduce myself! I am Dr. Atmosphere. Welcome to the rest of your lives!" Though those words sent a cold feeling through the foals, he spoke with showmanship. "Just follow me."

Dr. Atmosphere guided the foals past many smiling pegasi working at different stations, crafting beautiful snowflakes and forming fluffy clouds. In the middle of it all was a rainbow that poured in from the ceiling into a fountain, the same fountain the three got to see on a class field trip.

"You know, I was kind of scared at first..." Orion whispered to the fillies. "But I can actually see myself working here."

The three were brought down a hall where an assortment of food was preapred on a table.

"Do any of you like cookies and punch?" asked Dr. Atmosphere.

Though, the foals were tempted, they didn't quite feel hungry. Watching a friend's wing break would do that.

They were then brought to a door that was marked with a "Do Not Enter" sign. One masked pegasus opened the door which lead to a long, dark, stone hallway lit only by the ocassional hung torch reminiscent of a dungeon from one of Buttonmash's video games.

Scootaloo took a second to look at this ominous, shadowy hallway, then back at the bright, happy factory behind them then again back at the hallway.

"Huh." she thought. "When I took the tour here last time, was I seriously a few feet from a dungeon?"

The trek continued with the masked ponies guiding the foals down the hallway that just seemed to go on and on, twisting and turning, spliting up, leading to stairs on ocassion instilling confusion in the fillies. The group soon past by one employee who was running down the halls, desperately trying to remember where the bathroom was.

Eventually, they arrived to a large room where an oversized machine was built on the far end. It resembled a meat grinder, except it was large enough for a bear to be put in and had tanks filled with different colors that were attached to pipes that lead out into the rest of the factory. In the room were other fillies and colts, being watched by grown, masked ponies carrying stun batons. Judging by their faces, they weren't having a pizza party.

"Well, here we are!" cried the doctor. "This is where you'll be from now on!" Orion and Scootaloo looked at him with venom. "Aw, cheer up! You're looking at work of ponies from a thousand years ago. That's right we've been doing this for a thousand years! For centuries, we've used the best technology of Equestria to make rainbows. You're just going to give us a little helping hoof."

"That doesn't sound too bad..." squeaked Aurora.

"What do you what us to do?" asked Scootaloo, malice in her voice.

"Oh, it's nothing too troubling. You see that machine? Well, it's like a big grinder - a juicer to be more precise. All you have to do is jump in and not scream too loud."

The foals felt sick. Though Dr. Atmosphere made it sound like it was nothing more than going down a slide, it didn't do much to ease the fright the three felt.

"You monster!" shouted Orion. "How does nopony know about this?!"

"Oh, it's simple, for a thousand years we've been taking little filly fails like you. It's strange really how for a thousand years, no one has caught on to the same foals getting taken now that I think about it... Anyways, we've kept this secret well, since nopony's allowed to leave."

"No way." spat Scootaloo, not conivnced that this was possible.

"How- How can you do all this?! shouted Aurora.

"Oh, me? No. I'm merely the engineer. She does most of the work."

Just then a cyan mare dropped down in front of the three, anger in her rosy eyes.

"Rainbow Dash?" Scootaloo muttered.

"I hate you Scootaloo." Rainbow Dash growled. "You shouldn't be here! I worked so hard so you wouldn't end up here!"

"This sounds like very personal stuff." said Dr. Atmosphere. "Tell ya what, I'm going to go have some of the cookies and punch and you kids have fun with Bad Cop!" And with that he left the room, humming, almost skipping.

"I failed because I went to help her!" Scootaloo cried out, pointing at Aurora. "How did YOU end up working here?!"

"Really?!" Rainbow Dash asked bouncing up and down like Pinkie Pie. "So all I have to do is make rainbows and I get paid?!"

"That's right." replied the factory worker, showing her to where she would work. "We don't really get fillies to work here. How did you even learn how to make rainbows?

Rainbow Dash giggled a little. She told this story a hundred times and she still had fun telling it... and it only happened about a week ago.

"So I saw my friend Fluttershy crying." she began. "I went to see what was wrong and I saw these two jerks from my school picking on her. They made me so mad..."

The worker looked at her eyes wide.

"Let me guess." he said. "You taught them a lesson?"

"Sure thing. I made a big rain-boom right there. No one ever messed with Fluttershy ever again."

The worker couldn't believe how psychotic this filly was. At the very least, she would enjoy the job. He brought her to the machine room.

Right away, Rainbow Dash was confused. She wondered how exactly she was going to do a sonic-rainboom in a place so small.

"How in the hay am I supposed to fly around in here?!" asked Rainbow Dash.

"Wait, fly?"

Rainbow Dash looked up at the top of the machine where a screaming, crying filly was being dropped in. Immediately, the booming sound of grinding and scraping echoed around the room. Rainbow Dash's jaw touched the floor.

"Oh crap..." muttered the worker next to her. "So this is how rainbows are really made..." he explained. " So good news... we have on-the-job training."

"You don't know how many fillies I've made into rainbows!" yelled Rainbow Dash. "Nopony should ever have to do it ONCE! But now it's my job."

Rainbow Dash flew and took Orion before anypony could make a move. She took her to the top of the machine and threw her in. Out of the clear pipes attached to the machine flowed out glowing liquid colors. Some colts shrieked, but still took a second to look at the pretty rainbow that came out.

In the short moment of panic, Scootaloo suddenly had an idea.

"Everyone!" she called out to all of the other fillies. "Remember the exam?!" All of the foals then knew what to do. "Step one!... Ready!... Go!"

All at once, the foals began the synchronized attack plan based on their exam. They gave it their all, but they still weren't good fliers. Nearly half of them fell or even had trouble getting into the air. The rest of them pretty much had no control of their flight and only flew around the room. Rainbow Dash shouted orders to the guards to get all of them to stay still.

Scootaloo and Aurora saw this distraction as their one chance to slip out undetected. Rainbow Dash saw this and charged towards them. Aurora saw this and stopped at the doorway as Scootaloo continued her escape. Rainbow Dash dropped down in front of her.

"Move..." Rainbow Dash growled.

"No!" yelled Aurora. "I'm not going to let you hurt my friend!"

Rainbow Dash snorted and flew over her. Aurora looked back at her broken wing sighed.

"Well, that's about all I can do." she thought.

Scootaloo flew through the twisting, winding halls of the factory. Rainbow Dash was behind her and gradually the distance between the two was widening.

"How... Is... She... Faster?!" Rainbow Dash panted.

Scootaloo went this way and that. Desperately trying to find the exit in the strangely design factory, but got stuck in a dead end with nothing, but what appeared to be a garbage chute. She turned around and heard Rainbow Dash approaching. Scootaloo opened the door and slid down the chute.

She dropped down onto the cloud. She looked up finding herself back in the grinder room. She had to take a moment for her to process in her mind that she discovered a garbage chute that drops down into a working room.

"Why is the factory designed like this?!" Scootaloo cried out as she slapped her forehead.

"You're time's up..."

As Scootaloo turned around, Rainbow Dash picked her up and flew with her up to the top of the machine where Scootaloo could see the red gears of the machine behind her.

"Any last words?" Rainbow Dash asked.

Scootaloo never really thought about what her last words would be. As many would, Scootaloo thought to try something to get her out of the situation. It was easier said than done, however. It was hard to think when she was being dangled over a kill-machine. For a short while, she just stared at Rainbow Dash.

"You have beautiful eyes?..."

--- The Next Day ---

"And then she let you go?!" asked Applebloom.

"Yup." said Scootaloo.

"That was stupid."

"Hey! No it's not! It's what really happened yesterday!"

"Don't worry." said Sweetie Belle. "I believe you, Scootaloo."

Any normal day, Scootaloo would be ready to leave school at the first opportunity, but today she couldn't be happier to be in school - she was alive. The whole ordeal was a mess, but it taught her a few things. One - Sometimes you can't just trust everyone. Two - The quest of perfection leads to nowhere.  That was at least what she thought she was supposed to learn. That whole day was just one big mess.

It seemed that no one would believe what was really going on in Cloudsdale, but then again - she was alive and she, herself, knew the truth. Someday, she'll find somepony who would believe her.

She would never forget her two friends... Whatever their names were.

"Okay, my little ponies." said Cherilee walking into the classroom. "Today were going to be learning about weather. The most important part of weather are the rainbows. They help stabilize the weather. Now can anyone tell me what rainbows are made of?"

Scootaloo grinned and raised her hoof.

"Yes, Scootaloo.