The Rainbow Pony

by SirWritesalot

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Rainbow Dash, Comedy
Length: 2096

Rainbow Dash stars in a parody of "The Rainbow Fish."

Rainbow Dash stars in a parody of "The Rainbow Fish."

After a rude outburst, Rainbow Dash goes to extreme measures in an attempt to get everypony to like her again.

Published 2015-02-04 00:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-02-04 00:10:01 UTC

The Rainbow Pony

All the way out in a town called Ponyville in the land of Equestria, there lived a little pegasus pony. But this pony wasn’t just any average pony – she was, as she would personally brag, the most awesome pony in all of Equestria. Her mane was every color of the rainbow, and she was even the most talented flyer in the Wonderbolts Reserves.

All of the rest of the ponies in Ponyville were astounded by how awesome she truly was. They called her Rainbow Dash, which made sense because that was her name, after all. “Hey, Rainbow Dash,” they would call. “Come on! Help us bust some clouds and clear up the weather!” Sometimes Rainbow Dash would deign to lend a hand, but usually she would just fly right on by, sleek and unconcerned, leaving only the rainbow trail of a sonic rainboom behind.

One afternoon, a little orange pegasus pony followed Rainbow Dash along her aimless, carefree way, running along the ground because she still hadn’t yet developed the ability to fly. “Rainbow Dash,” Scootaloo called, “Wait! Please let me have just a little of your awesomeness. You have so much of it! Surely you can share?”

Rainbow Dash stopped in midair, hovering condescendingly over the little pony who had dared to ask such a question. “Seriously? You think I should give you some of my awesomeness? How could you even ask something like that?” laughed Rainbow Dash. “Go away and stop bothering me!” Extremely startled by Rainbow Dash’s rudeness, Scootaloo ran away. She was so upset and disappointed that she immediately went to tell the other Cutie Mark Crusaders about it. Soon the news had spread all around Ponyville, and before long, everypony was simply ignoring Rainbow Dash. Whenever she flew by, they looked away, and they no longer greeted her at all, even with requests for help.

This took a toll on Rainbow Dash extremely quickly. What did it matter if she had the most awesome mane and flying skills of anypony if there wasn’t anypony to adore them? She felt like she must be the loneliest pony in all of Equestria.

Soon, even though her ego had only received a few days worth of trauma, Rainbow Dash was nearly on the verge of snapping. She decided to confide in Tank about it, since he was practically the only one to talk to now that everypony was avoiding her. “You know that I’m awesome, right? And I know I’m awesome. Why doesn’t anypony else see that anymore?” she said.

Tank didn’t answer – after all, he’d never shown the ability to speak before, so why would he do so now? But he did fly over to a map of Equestria and nudged a particular cave in the mountains with his nose. “You want me to go there? How is that going to help?” Rainbow Dash asked in confusion. But since it was the only advice she’d gotten at all, whether good or bad, she decided that she’d better take it.

It was a relatively long journey, taking several hours of nonstop flight (broken only by one short break to lounge on a cloud), but eventually Rainbow Dash arrived at the cave. It was nearly pitch black inside, so she was taken entirely off guard when two eyes appeared and the shape of a familiar draconequus made its way out of the bleakness. “I thought you would come here,” Discord said. “I just happened to hear your story through the grapevine, and here’s my advice…”

“Why should I listen to you?” Rainbow Dash interrupted immediately, wondering why Tank would have sent her to get advice from Discord.

“Don’t you want to be happy again?” Discord asked. “And you’re supposed to be the element of loyalty, aren’t you? Well, how are you supposed to do that without any friends to be loyal to, hmmm?”

“I…I don’t know,” Rainbow Dash said, feeling desperate already. “What’s your advice?”

“You know, could I first preface this by saying, ‘Thank you?’ I was so worried that we were going to turn this into a long back-and-forth where I would try to offer you advice and you’d refuse and then I’d explain why it was for the best and you’d still refuse and so on, but instead you’ve agreed right away. How delightful that you actually trust me so much,” Discord said.

“Please just get on with it!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed impatiently.

"Now, now,” Discord chastised. “Alright, here’s what I would advise: give every pony you see a lock of your mane or your tail. You probably won’t be the most awesome pony in Equestria anymore, but you should be happy again.”

“Excuse me?” Rainbow Dash said. “How is that going to help? Why would the other ponies want my mane? And I’d still be the most awesome pony without it, anyway! I’d still have my flying skills and…”

“Fine,” Discord said. “If you don’t want my advice after all, don’t take it. Some friend you are. But if you think your flying skills make you too ‘awesome,’ too, then just stop flying as well.”

“What?! I can’t…” Rainbow Dash started to say, but Discord was already gone, having vanished back into the dark cave. Give her mane and tail away? Stop flying? She could never do that. Could she? How could that possibly make her happy? As she was contemplating this, she was surprised by the gentle touch of a hoof. The little orange pony had returned…somehow. Rainbow Dash wondered how she had gotten all the way there so quickly without flying, but decided not to worry about it.

“Rainbow Dash, I don’t want you to be mad at me, but could I please have just one tiny bit of your awesomeness?” Scootaloo asked again plaintively. Rainbow Dash wavered. She still didn’t see how Discord’s advice could possibly help, but decided that it couldn’t really hurt to give it a try. Her mane would grow back, after all.

Carefully, Rainbow Dash reached up and pulled off a large portion of the red part of her mane and gave it to Scootaloo. Scootaloo just took it and looked at it in confusion. “Uh…thanks? I guess?” she said. Now that she thought about it, she wasn’t sure what exactly she had been expecting Rainbow Dash to give her when she’d asked for some awesomeness. Maybe she’d just wanted to be taught something? But Rainbow Dash wasn’t paying attention. She was experiencing a very strange feeling. For a long time, she just stared into space and thought about what Discord had suggested.

Eventually, Scootaloo decided to leave, putting Rainbow Dash’s hair into her own mane just because she didn’t have much of anything else to do with it. When she got back to Ponyville, she’d be sure to tell the other Cutie Mark Crusaders that Rainbow Dash had finally lost it.

Eventually, Rainbow Dash lifted herself from whatever trance she had been in and flew back to Ponyville. Again, Scootaloo had apparently beaten her there somehow, and quite a crowd had gathered in response to Scootaloo’s tales of Rainbow Dash’s apparent insanity. Without a word, and totally ignoring any protests by the other ponies, Rainbow Dash started to pull out more locks of her hair and give them to everypony who had gathered around. She shared it all, starting with her mane and moving on to her tail once that was gone. And the more she gave away, the more determined she became. Once both her mane and tail had finally been depleted, she felt confident that she would again be accepted by the other ponies (though some of them had run off saying something about getting help, and she wasn’t sure what that was all about).

Suddenly, Rainbow Dash realized that she had missed one solitary grey pony who was standing slightly away from the rest of the group, looking on in confusion. Or at least, she was probably confused, though her eyes were always like that. Yes, it was Derpy (or Muffins, as she was sometimes called).

But Rainbow Dash had nothing left to give away. What was she going to do now? Then she remembered what Discord had said – “If you think your flying skills make you too ‘awesome,’ too, then just stop flying as well” – and she knew what she had to do. Reaching up to her back, she took hold of her wings and pulled. A few moments later, she blacked out.

When she woke back up, she was in the hospital, surrounded by her best friends – Twilight, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rarity. “Are you okay?” Twilight said as soon as she saw Rainbow Dash open her eyes.

“What in tarnation got into you, Rainbow Dash?” Applejack said. “We were worried sick!”

“If you were having…uh…problems, you could have come to us for help,” Fluttershy said.

“She’s right, of course,” Rarity said.

“I could have made you smile!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed, and made a funny face. But Rainbow Dash wasn’t in that kind of mood.

“I don’t…I don’t know what I was thinking,” Rainbow Dash said simply. Her memory of the events immediately preceding her blackout were extremely fuzzy. Her back hurt, too, and she really just didn’t feel quite like herself at all.

The doctor, a unicorn pony, walked into the room and the other ponies stepped away from Rainbow Dash’s bed. “Well, we managed to get your wings reattached and you should regain full use of them within a few weeks,” he said, flipping through a clipboard that he was levitating in front of his head. “But you’re going to need a lot of bed rest until then,” he said, and started to leave the room again.

Before he could leave, the rest of the Mane Six double-checked that it was okay, then carefully went over to hug Rainbow Dash, who was still in a daze. Each of them did so in turn, making sure not to disturb the large casts that Rainbow Dash was wearing. Silently, they were all thinking that she might need some mental therapy as well, but they didn’t want to bring that up at the moment. At least everything seemed like it was going to be okay for now.

Or maybe not. As Rarity stepped over to give Rainbow Dash a hug, there was a blinding flash of white light and she disappeared. As the rest of the Mane Six blinked away the spots in their eyes and slowly refocused on Rainbow Dash, they saw that Rarity was totally gone and began to panic.

“What just happened?! Somepony get the doctor! Get Princess Celestia! Get anypony!” Twilight shouted. Rainbow Dash was still out of it because of whatever pain medication she was on, but now she felt even less like herself than before. More…fashionable, somehow. She fell asleep and had a pleasant dream about making dresses for a fashion show in Canterlot.

When she woke up again, she finally felt a little more alert. Princess Celestia was in the room, speaking in hushed tones to the rest of the Mane Six, who were looking more concerned than ever.

“What’s going on?” Rainbow Dash asked, trying to lift her head from the bed but finding it a little heavier than usual.

Princess Celestia turned toward Rainbow Dash’s bed with a solemn, almost angry look on her face, apparently deciding to get right to the point. “I don’t know what could possibly have been your motivation, but when you gave away your hair and your wings, the Elements of Harmony apparently decided that you were now a better fit for the Element of Generosity than Rarity.”

“What do you mean? What happened to Rarity?” Rainbow Dash asked, though part of her felt as though she should know the answer for some reason.

“In special cases such as Luna's and my own, multiple Elements can be wielded by the same pony. But each Element can only be wielded by one pony at a time – there can never be more than one bearer of the same Element.” Celestia continued.

“What? Wait! You mean…?” Rainbow Dash suddenly got the urge to feel her forehead, and when she did, she found a horn where there had never been one before.

“Yes,” Princess Celestia said, though she really didn’t seem happy with what she was about to say. “There can be only one.” Then, with a hint of venom in her voice, she took out a crown, placed it on Rainbow Dash’s head, and spat, “Princess Raridash.”