Scootaloo vs.

by trahzo

Rating: teen
Tags: Spike, Comedy, Other, Scootaloo, Random, Crossover, Anthro, Apple Bloom, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 8247

A Dan vs parody.

Yep...this is my Dan vs. Parody! Scootaloo will have a revenge mission against a bunch of things, and it's shits & giggles till aunt fanny comes home! Oh yeah...you get to chose what she'll be fighting against! Also, with the main characters section, I'm sure you can tell who'll be the Chris & Elise of this story.

Published 2015-02-11 01:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-15 20:04:36 UTC

Ch.1: Mat of the Laundromat!

The alarm clock in Scootaloo's apartment buzzed loudly.

" *Growl* I'm up. I'm up! geez!" Scootaloo got up and out of bed and turned her alarm clock off. She checked her calender and...it's that time again! N-no, not that time of the month, get your head out of the gutter!

" *groan* (Okay Scootaloo it's laundry day, don't worry you'll make it through this without any hitch...unless Diamond Tiara's butler is there, then I'll steal a bunch of her socks Heheheh.)"

Scootaloo got her laundry and went to the laundromat. She had just finished drying her laundry in the dryer until...

"Hey! Where are my KFC patterned undies?"

"You mean these?" Said a stallion standing in the shadows!"

"Show yourself so I can kick your butt!" Scootaloo said.

the Stallion stepped out of the shadows & as it turned out, he was awkward looking like a nerd. He lifted the panties to his nose.

"W..what do you think you're doing?"

"I'm sniffing the panties of a hottie, duh!"

"Give me back my underwear you freak! Or, I'll"

"Never!" He rejected!

"Just who are you?"

"I am Mat the 50th, the current Mat of this Laundromat!"

"You're the owner of this laundromat?"

"Yes, that is right babe, and I'm going to keep these!"

"I don't think so!" Scootaloo ran at Mat, but Mat dodged, then ran to his left!

Scootaloo charged at Mat, but Mat opened a washing machine and the door hit Scootaloo in the face! Scootaloo tried getting up, but she slipped & fell on her butt. Mat then exited through the back door & the sound of a car could be heard.

"Grr...MAT OF THE LAUNDROMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!" She screamed to the sky with both fists in the air!

Scootaloo
vs.
Mat of the Laundromat!

Scootaloo takes her phone out and calls Applebloom.

"Hello?"

"WE HAVE A PROBLEM!!!"

"Oh yippie, another problem."

"Don't you take that tone with me! My panties were stolen by a nerd & is probably already trying to write-up a petition to marry them!"

"Eww, look, after we catch this disgusting crook, you can come over to my house and use me & Spike's washer & dryer."

"Oh, we're not just gonna catch him, once we get the thief, we're gonna stuff him into a washing machine, and drown him!"

"Uh, no! I'd rather not go to prison!"

"Come-on, your husband has connections with royalty, he should be able to bail you out of anything!"

"I said no! You can get sent to the sun...or maybe as far as Diamond dog territory, but I aint gonna make you..."

"Take you on action packed adventures?"

"..."

"I'll see you at 5:00!"

Then Spike enters the living room.

"Hey my sweetapple, *kiss on the cheek* what happened to Scootaloo this time?"

"This time it's reasonable, a nerd stole her panties!"

"But?"

"But what she'll to do him, is unreasonable. She wants to stuff the nerd into a washing machine & drown him!"

"Yep, that's what I was looking for."

"She promised it would be an action packed adventure."

"I bet." He said sarcastically. "Well see yah!"

"Y...you don't think this will result in something bad after?"

"Applebloom, you & Scootaloo have won every time, what's so different about now?"

"...you have a point." Applebloom then looked at the clock, the time was 4:32. "Shoot, it's almost 5, gotta go, love you Spike!"

Then when Applebloom was gone...

"BLAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, man I was so close to losing my straight face! Adventure? More like a chance of jail! Good thing I got all of Equestrian royalty on speed dial. Now let's see what's on T.V."

"Today, famous singer Sweetie Belle continues with day 5 of her tour around Equestria where she'll be going to Manehattan!" a TV announcer explained why Sweetie Belle isn't in this story.

Later, Applebloom got out of her car and went to Scootaloo's apartment.

*Knock* *Knock*

"Excuse me, but what are you doing?"

"What do you mean? I'm knocking on your door."

"Use the doorbell!"

" *Groan* Fine." She pressed the door bell then awesome as I wanna be played! "That song has gotten old you know."

"Shut-up it's awesome! Anyways, come-in."

Applebloom entered Scootaloo's apartment, a bit dir...okay she's a slob like Rainbow Dash. Hey...does anyone ever see a of little Konohamaru in Scootaloo? What am I saying? Never mind, ignore what I just said! So Scootaloo went to her kitchen and got 2 cans of Dr.Pepper for her & Applebloom.

"So here's the plan..." Scootaloo then pulled a sheet off of a white board. "Step one, we pay, and when I say we I mean you, go pay some private detectives to get some dirt on him. Step 2, we threaten to reveal his dirty secret on the internet, and 3 once we get my panties back, we stuff GRANNY SMITH'S PANTIES DOWN HIS THROAT!!!"

"Scoots?"

"Yes A.B. buddy?"

"You do realize my granny's kaput right?"

"Dang! Well, guess it's time for plan B!"

"Plan B?"

"Yes, I noticed every morning a truck full of poisonous insects passes by my apartment & are sent to the research science labs here in New Ponyville, if we can intercept that truck, then we can steal the bugs, and have them infest the laundromat! The laundromat will be considered dangerous, then fumigated, which means that it'll be a few days until a bunch of citizens trying to wash and dry their laundry will be in their underwear for days, which will enrage them and then we'll have them file lawsuits, after he losses his money, we find him sleeping in the sad box, we pick-up the box he's in and throw it into a dump truck and crush him!"

"Maybe a less complicated plan?"

"Fine! Plan C, double team kick his butt!"

"Without killing him?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever! Let's go!"

They made it to the front doors of the laundromat.

"Here we are!" Said Applebloom.

"Yeah...let's beat him up!"

Applebloom went in 1st, but before Scootaloo went in, an acorn hit her in the back of the head. She turned and saw Squirrels laughing at her.

"You'll be laughing in Hell, you stupid squirrels!" Then she pulled out her enemies list and wrote 'family of squirrels near the laundromat' in the same page as... 'Micheal Jackson's Thriller video', 'Jawas', 'Capital Letters R, J, and K', 'Yo Mama', 'Mecha Game & Watch' and 'Robot Homeless Person' She put the list back into her pocket, then entered the laundromat.

"So, which one of these fellas is the nerd?"

"Him!" She pointed. "Hey pizza face!"

"Uh,oh!"

Scootaloo then used her speed from training with Rainbow Dash to block the exit.

"I heard you've stolen something of my friend's here?"

"Any last words before you get your ass kicked?"

"Big Machine!" Mat cried out.

Then a huge stallion entered the room. "Have you met my cousin Big Machine?"

"Those who threaten favorite cousin, get the kicking out of the place that cleans clothes!" Big Machine said in a Russian accent.

Then he gave the both of them the boot, the boot that's as tall as them.

"Well, I didn't factor in he'd have a huge dude! Alright, we get back in there & use a steel punching glove on Big Machine's crotch!"

"And how are we gonna get one?"

"Aran Ryan from Punch Out Wii did it by stuffing horse shoes into his gloves, why not us?"

"Um...excuse me?" Asked a hooded mare.

"Yeah, what is it?"

"Umm...I think I can help you beat Mat, but we must listen."

"And why should we?"

"Because...like you he's stolen my KGC patterned panties." Then the mare took off her hood, she was a palette swap of Scootaloo! "Hello, I am Toodle Loo."

"Could you be your twin."

"Oh please, my parents told me I had no twin."

"Listen, we can take him down, but 1st we must gather all of the mares who use his laundromat!" Then she gave them a list of the victim's addresses.

"How come you've never told these gals to rise-up before? There are a lot of them."

"Because, I needed a strong, fierce, deadly ruler! That's where you come-in Scootaloo!"

"Well, let's pay these girls a visit!"

Later, the sounds of marching could be heard...

"What's that? Big, go outside & see what's making that sound!"

"Umm...cousin?"

Mat looked out the window..."Oh-no! Big Machine, take care of them!"

"I haven't fought this many before! Cousin wait, let me in!"

It was too late for Big Machine, then Scootaloo went to the front of the crowd, she was wearing a big black jacket & dark shades.

"You have to the count of three to give us back our panties!" She threatened.

"Never!"

"Alright, you forced my hand! Fire!" she ordered the unicorns!

The unicorns fired lasers that destroyed the windows.

"Charge!" She commanded.

They all ran into the laundromat, destroying all of the machines, Scootaloo spotted Mat.

"You're mine pervert!" Then she chased him to the back of the building.

" *Gasp!* "

"Yeah, that was a little insurance to make sure you didn't try to get away in your car!"

Then he ran into a huge shack, and slammed the door closed behind him. Scootaloo kicked the door down! She saw there were stairs that led to a sub level, she went down the stairs and discovered a sinister horror!

"What on the..." She saw bodies that looked just like the girls who Mat stole from. They were curled up inside dryer machines.

"Heeheeheehee..."

"What is this?"

"This is why I steal panties! I take the sweat and use that DNA to create my own sex slaves! As you can see, the dryers represent embryos! Hahahahahah!"

"Well guess what, I'm gonna smash this sad sad dream to pieces!" She was about to smash but that's when a fist hit her in the face!

"Oh yeah, I also made clone of myself, get her!" They chased Scootaloo all the way to the outside of the shack.

"I get to beat on a nerd 5 times over? Bring it on!"

I'm sure you guys know what this is a reference to now, well considering if you saw the 2nd Matrix movie, I didn't, I saw Nostalgia Critic's review on it. Anyways, 2 clones came from the sides, but Scootaloo punched one while she kicked the other. Then another came from behind, but she countered and judo threw him! A clone & the real Mat ran jumped but Scootaloo jumped back, then charged with 2 fists to the stomachs!

"I need more help!"

Then 10 more clones appeared! Scootaloo still showed resilience, still fighting them all off! Applebloom saw what was going on.

"Scoots! Don't worry girl, here I..." Then a bunch of new clones blocked her path! "Don't worry, I'll go get help!"

"Thank you for being useless in the last second!" She said with angry sarcasm.

Soon, 20, no wait...30 clones entered the battle!

"Umm, uncle, where is this going?"

Not now kid! Scootaloo thought this battle was impossible until suddenly, flames cascaded the place, burning all of Mat's clones to ashes!

"See? I told you I'd get help!"

"And not a minute sooner, geez, look at you!" Spike added.

"Oh shut-up, now help me destroy this loser's laboratory!"

Spike burned everything down, causing the machines to explode & kill the clones within the dryers.

"Well, that's that!" Scootaloo concluded.

"Alright, come-on Applebloom, we're going to see my parents tonight at dinner!"

"Bye Scootaloo, wish me luck."

"Why should I? You're not becoming friends with them!" Scootaloo told her while they went their separate ways.

Later when Scootaloo made it to her apartment...

" *sigh!* Good to know I can now relax...wait a minute...I never got my panties back! *grunt!* It's too late, it's been burnt along with Mat's lab."

Meanwhile in the burnt remains of the lab, an orange arm bursts out of the debris holding Scootaloo's panties!

Ch.2: Dethklok

Scootaloo was just enjoying a good show, a good sandwich and relaxing on the couch.

"Finally, nothing making me angry, I think this is going to be a great..."

*Ding-dong!*

"That better not be what will ruin my day!" She said as she walked to the door with a half a sandwich in her right hand. She then opened the door.

"Uh...high, we're Dethklok, and we're gonna need to destroy this apartment because our...uh, stage is too big...so yeah, you may wanna get all of your stuff & go before our death copters drop the stage." Said a man with long black hair.

"Drop?" She looked up, she then ran back in, grabbed a bunch of her clothes and junk, threw it into the car, and drove as fast as she could, that's when the helicopters dropped the stage, crushing all of the building under it, all of the people who couldn't make it in time, and blasting Scootaloo's car away with the kinetic blast of the impact! making the car roll, and then stop after hitting a car! Scootaloo then kicked the door, and got out of her car.

"My home! My Car! Well, at least my sandwich is okay." She then saw that her sandwich was destroyed as well. "MY SANDWICH!!!"

"I know, they ruined my Sandvich too!" said Heavy.

"DETHKLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK!!!!!

Scootaloo
Vs
Dethklok!.

Warning, there's gonna be a lot of cussing in this chapter, and if you watch & enjoy the Adult Swim cartoon: Metalocalypse, then you know who exactly this band is. NOW FOR THE THEME SONG!!!

Doodily Ding-dong tick-tock
Doodily Ding-dong tick-tock
Doodily Ding-dong tick-tock
Doodily Ding-dong tick-tock
Doodily Ding-dong tick-tock!

Dethklok
Dethklok
Dethklok
Dethklok!

I'll...teach you...who...rock!

Dethklok
Dethklok!

Skwisgar Skwigelf
Taller than a tree!

Toki Wartooth
not a bumblebee!

William Murderface
Murderface
Murderface!

Pickles the drummer
Doodily doo,
ding dong doodily
doodily doo

NATHAN EXPLOSION!!!

Meanwhile in some governmental organization.

"Gentlemen, it seems that Dethklok is now making a crossover!"

"What wrong with that? Crossovers aren't even canon."

"True true, but...they are crossing over with a little girl's show called My Little Pony Friendship is Magic! Allow this man to explain how catastrophic their crossover is. I present to you, Mr.Bart Griffon."

"Dethklok is a band that parents wouldn't let their children listen too, but they would let their children listen to the music of MLP, if Dethklok crossed over with a show for kids, then parents would ban MLP as well, and children & adults can't get enough of this, so if MLP was not allowed to be watched by children anymore, then the children will get so violent that they would kill their parents for not letting them watch such a good show because of one adult thing that happened! Soon, we'll get a generation of children who are homeless criminals, and then we'll see a gigantic drop in college graduates, destroying our economy because we have no electricians, no plumbers, no mechanics, no more people doing the jobs that make the public stable!"

"That'll be all Mr.Griffon. Mr. Salacia, what do you suggest we do about Dethklok?"

"I sense a mare wanting revenge on the band for destroying her home, vehicle, and snack, I sense her irratinalness will allow her to eventually win, who ever this young soul is, to carry out her mission!"

Then, we cut over to Spike & Applebloom were just sitting on the couch cuddling, why watching TV. Until they see rustling in the bushes.

"I'll get Applebloom."

Then Spike opened the door, and Scootaloo tried forcing herself past Spike, but Spike was holding her down.

"What do you want this time Scootaloo?"

"A stupid metal band destroyed my home, my car, and especially my sandwich! They must be stopped!"

"What's the name of the band?" Asked Applebloom.

"Dethklok!"

Then the door was slammed in her face!

"NO!"

"Why not?"

"Dethklok kills everyone in the audience! If you think we're gonna die this early in the story, no thank you!" Applebloom said on their side of the door.

"Fine, see what I care you cowards, I'll get someone else to help me with my revenge!"

10 minutes later, Scootaloo was at a restaurant eating another sandwich to replace the one she lost. Then the TV in the restaurant showed the NEWS on Dethklok, called Dethwatch.

"In just 5 hours, Dethklok shall make their 1st Equestrian performance, liability wavers are being sent to houses as we speak!"

"Dethklok better have a liability waver when I get through with them!"

"Wow, I haven't been back in New Ponyville for 15 minutes, and already you're wanting revenge!"

"That voice..." Scootaloo then turned her head. "Sweetie Belle?"

"Hey Scoots."

"Oh my gosh, when did you get back?"

"Last night, I was planning on surprising you & Applebloom."

"Sweet, but anyways, will you help me? Because Applebloom & her stupid husband refuse to because Dethklok is 'scary!' "

"Dethklok? Never heard of them."

"They're some metal band, have you seen the ads around New Ponyville?"

"No, I was too focused on getting home right away."

"I guess you were even too busy as your job as a pop star to watch TV as well."

"Yep."

"So, will you help me? Even though you don't know what you're getting yourself into?"

"Scootaloo, it's one of your revenge missions, it's always a blind run in...so yeah."

"Woo-hoo, now then...1st stop, The Explosives & Queen Bee Hormone Emporium!"

Meanwhile, Dethklok were in their meeting room. That's when their manager Charles Ofdensen entered.

"Hello gentelmen...umm, we gotta discuss the fiasco that happened during our previous crossovers."

"Oh comes on ofdensen, wes didn't knows thats Murdeface wents and pee all over thats Teenage Robot after hes pwned her in their fists fight!" Complained Toki.

"Yes, how were to know Murderface would ams stab the shoulder of that magical princess from another dimension?" Complained Skiwsgar.

"Yeah, it wasn't Pickles' fault that he beat-up that bald kid with cool sunglasses. The kid kept on trying to shoot us with mustard!" Complained Nathan Explosion.

"Yes, I want to talk about this crossover, please...don't cause any bodily harm to the stars of this show. Can you please do that? They keep on giving us these huge lawsuits & we're losing tones of money! We still haven't finished paying off the law suit after the time Pickles & Murdeface mugged the Mario Brothers, and Sonic & Tails."

"Okay, we'll try."

"Good, now I have to go, I gonna try & negotiate cutting the charges in half from when Murderface rubbed his own feces all over the walls of Wayne Manner."

As soon as Ofdensen left.

"I'm not gonna listen to his s*guitar riff*t, I'm gonna go drink & throw-up all over that F*Guitar riff!*ng Sh*Guitar riff!*tty Rainbow maned B*Guitar riff!*h!"

"Murderface, stop!" Said Nathan Explosion. "You left your pone on the table."

"Oh thanks Nathan, see you guys later, I'm gonna show Rainbow Dash how much I don't give a f*guitar riff*k about her awesomeness!"

"So Pickles, feeling like listening to Charles?"

"Nah man, he's a dumb dildo, why should I care aboot what he says? It's a crossover, it's not like those are canon right? Us beating on all of dem jackoffs didn't even count. Am gonna go to the hot tub."

"Ams just disappointed thats the jacksoff writings this story puts us in the furry anthro world, I's was hopings to rides on a pony becauses theys look like they're so happy, which would make me happy because you gas ares so means to me! Exspeshiallys yous Skwisgar!!"

Then a pained scream was heard.

"AH, motherf*guitar riff*er, I stubbed my f*guitar riff*ng toe!" Yelled Murderface.

Meanwhile...

"Alright, we got all that we need! Bombs, 3 gallons of Queen Bee hormones, 3 sacks of potatoes, a 3 month old silver back gorilla, a picture of a walrus fighting Peter Pan, and a bag of a dozen pygmy rats! It's a good thing you're rich!"

"So...what does all of this have to do with helping you take down Dethklok?"

"You'll see!" That's when they bumped into a guard.

"Hey, what do you think you're doing with that stuff? Planning on ruining our lords' concert."

"1st of all, GEEZ LOUISE, THAT'S A DEEP VOICE! 2nd of all, get outta my way KKK in black!"

Then a bunch more guards entered, and began shooting! Sweetie Belle put up a force field & they both fled!

"Well, that didn't work out so well!" Said Sweetie Belle. "So, what's our next plan Scootaloo? My infinite cash is literally burning many holes in my pockets." Then Sweetie Belle poured soda allover her left pants pocket.

"Hmm..."

"Hey! Quit it you bastard!"

"Not until my piss hits it's cutiemark you lesbo b*guitar riff!*ch!"

"Rainbow dash? Oh these guys are dead!" Then she stomped out of her seat at the cafe, and marched towards Murderface. "Hey uglyface!"

Murderface then turned and was delivered a fist to the face!

"OW! That hurt you furry dick!"

Then Rainbow Dash punched him in the face!

"Ow! Dammit! Okay, you forced me to do this!" Then he pulled out his death phone & began spinning by the chain, he threw it, missed, and it got a poor teenage stallion in the eye!

"Ah!" Then the stallion started running off

"Hey, gimme back my cellphone you faggot!" Then Murderface chased after.

"Phew, thanks Scoots, well I'm off, the Wonderbolts need me to welcome some band to Equestria with an air show, gotta dash!" Then she was off.

"As much as I admire her, I have to stop Dethklok! Come-on Sweetie Belle, I just hatched one last ditch effort to finally get my revenge, let's go get the supplies."

"More Bombs & Queen Bee Hormone?"

"No, this time laser guns & Queen Changeling Hormone!"

Later that night, Dethklok's audience just settled down in their seats in anticipation, ready. The announcer then welcomed Deathklok & everyone began cheering! While Scootaloo & Sweetie Belle managed to sneak past the guards & entered the back stage.they began climbing the curtains and and made sure they were directly above the band.

"Alright, once the Changeling Queen Harmones is smeared all over them, the Changelings in the audience will smell it, get horny & start humping them, and as they're having trouble escaping, we shoot 'em with these Knockout rays so the Changelings can have their ways with them all night long, it'll make them the laughing stocks of Equestria!"

"Alright, we're in position!"

"Excellent, good thing you paid your maids to have sex with those guards or we'd never get past them!"

"Yeah, and it's a good thing they decided to return to beating-up that clown after their super quickies! Now then..." She then looked down at Dethklok, where Skwisgar & Toki are doing their guitar duet! "This is what happens when you destroy someone's sandwich! NOW!!!"

Then the band got drenched!

"Augh, what the f*guitar riff!*k hell is this?" said Nathan in disgust.

Meanwhile in the audience...

"The Queen is horny!"

"I must give her more troops!"

"Sorry my wife, but...I must do the queen!"

Then all of the Changelings were in the air, and then started darting towards the band.

"Now, use the knockout rays!"

Then Sweetie Belle started shooting but all she did was shoot the changelings.

Meanwhile...

"Uh-oh, I need people on stage now! My bread & butter are in danger!" Commanded Ofdensen.

"What are you doing? J-just stop shooting okay? I'll handle this!" Then Scootaloo aimed at Murderface. "This is for trying to piss all over my idol you dime a dozen unloved Bass player!" Then she nailed Murderface!

The guards got on stage, and began opening fire, exploding the heads of the oncoming threat, one was shot in the wing causing him to fall, and land horn 1st into a unicorn mare's eye! She screamed in agony causing her to send out a magic surge that melted off the flesh of every pony around her withing a mile radius! Then the audience began screaming and running! In the confusion, Twilight's date became a victim of a stampede, getting ran over & turned into a bloody fleshy pancake! Scootaloo then knocked out Toki, but feeling sorry for him for some reason, she dropped her favorite teddy bear next to him. Ofdensen then noticed.

"Someone's shooting knock out rays, from above, take 'em down!" Then half of the guards turned around

"Time to go!" Sweetie Belle used a magic force field. "Come-on Scoots, we gotta vamoose!"

"Not until I knock out the rest of them!" She said as she knocked out Skwisgar, then Pickles! "Just one more."

Rainbow Dash noticed what was going on & decided to help out, she flew by & spanked the butts of each guard she passed by!

"Now's my chance!" She fired, but a guard blocked for Nathan, then another, and another, Scootaloo eventually hit Nathan!

Then she Sweetie Belle & was off! not paying any mind to the audience dying during the crowd's confused state, but Rainbow Dash managed to stop them by doing a dazzling Sonic Rainboom! Then the Changelings swarmed the unconscious band!

" *sigh!* That...was a great night!"

"Yeah, I had fun!"

"I thought you had fun during your tours."

"Not really, the celebrities I hangout with are true Jackoffs in real life. What can ya do?"

"Yeah, it's sad I don't have home to return to anymore!"

"Well, I do have another tour coming-up, it would be just awesome if somebody were to keep an eye on it while I'm gone, make sure the whole arcade is dusted, make sure the bar counter is shined, and ensure that the media room is working."

6 months later...

*Knock knock!*

"Oh, hey Scoots! Come-in, it's almost time for me to go."

one Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends style tour around the mansion later...

"So if you're hungry, the fridge is always stocked with the best stuff, no really, it's always stuffed, I tried taking a soda, closing the door, and reopening to see an empty space, but it just got replaced with another soda!"

"Alright, have a safe trip, and break-a-leg out there, I'll be watching you on stage."

Then Sweetie Belle took her stretch limousine to the next flight to Downtown City, in the Littlest Petshop universe.

"*sigh* Time for a sandwich..."

*knock knock!*

"Huh? What now?"

She opened the door to see a smiling Heavy

"..."

"Fine, I'll make you a sandwich as well."

"Yay!"

Author's Note

Sweetie Belle will only be helping Scootaloo in music related chapters.

Ch.3: The Supermarket!

"Let go of me you stupid dragon! I don't wanna go! I'll have you in jail for holding a lady down against her will!"

"Scootaloo, come-on, what's wrong about the Supermarket?" Applebloom asked with a bright & sunny smile.

"What's wrong? I refuse to socialize with people who are possibly sex offenders, why can't I just go shop at the mini mart a minute from my apartment? They have all I need."

"Scootaloo, they're going out of business." Spike responded to the struggling Mare in her arms.

"What?!"

"Yeah, it turns out the clerks were actually a bag of roaches & rats in disguise."

"Ugh!"

"Don't worry Scootaloo, you'll love going to the Supermarket." Applebloom reassured her.

As they made it to the entrance, Dan from Dan Vs. was kicked out as he yelled "Burn their house to the ground." Then Dan yeled to the heaven's: "FAMILY THANKSGIVING!!!"

Dan
Vs
The Family Thanksgiving.

Wait a minute, no! why did I focus on him for that long? Anyways, then they entered the Supermarket & Scootaloo took notice of Dethklok.

"(Why do I feel like I've seen them before in some alternate dimension? Oh well.)"

Then Toki finally spoke-up.

" *Gasp!* What is this place?"

"I believe them's calls it, a food library." Skwisgar answered.

Then the both of them kept on saying food library repeatedly until Pickles finally shut them up.

"IT'S A GROCERY STORE YOU JACK ASSES! I'm sorry about jack asses my blood sugar is low."

"Okay, we gotta buy our own food like how a regular jack offs do. You're all in charge of preparing one dish, and don't just buy booze! That aint food." Nathan Explosion ordered.

"What do you mean booze aint food? I'd rather chop off my own dick then admit that!" Murderface complained.

"You'd rather cut off your dick instead of not drinking?" Asked Toki.

"YES!"

"Wowee."

"(Idiots.)" Scootaloo thought.

That's when she realized Applebloom & Spike had disappeared.

"A...Applebloom? Spike?" Then she noticed to note on her chest.

Dear Scootaloo,
Me & my husband left you alone so we can get our shopping done, please don't make a scene. Also, just try to enjoy this new experience, it's good for you.

"(Treating me like a child? Oh, you're getting pinched when I find you!)"

That's when she got ran over by the Kids Next Door on their S.H.O.P.P.I.N.G.D.A.R.T.!

"Stupid Kids Next Door, why can't they just behave & get beat by their parents like other kids?" She got-up without a scratch! "Better get my shopping started." Then she pulled out her shopping list which was in the same pocket as her enemies list.

She found the eggs.

"That's 2 dollars more than the mini mart...better not bother getting angry about it."

Then she saw the last box of tampons, that were swiped from the other side of the isle!

"Hey!"

Meanwhile...

"Who's walnuts?"

"Hey look Toki, you have so many lady problems that you buys tampons, you like to talk to ladies about your problems because you's ams a lady yourself."

"You's the lady Skwisgar.'

"NO AMS NOT!!!"

Then Scootaloo went to the bread section.

"WHAT?! THEY'RE ALL EXPIRED?!!!"

"Yeah...sorry, there was this misunderstanding with this farm in Baltimare & well...we didn't get a new shipment of bread.

"Blasphemy, so many of these consumers & staff are so stupid! This is why I'd rather be in a mini mart!"

"Ma'am, calm down please."

"No, I will not stand for this! I've been here for half an hour & I've seen the stupidity of a supermarket! Look!" Then she turned the employee's attention to the old lady who slipped over Brian Griffin's pee.

"Sorry, but it's not our responsibility for what happens with our costumers."

"Grr...you'll be paying for this when people are unable to eat their sandwiches & hotdogs on a bun! Let me talk to your manager!"

Then the manager appeared.

"What's wrong?"

"Your employees are incompetent! I recommend you fire them all!"

"No."

"Why not?!"

Then Applebloom & Spike saw Scootaloo screaming at the manager.

"I'll handle this!" Applebloom said.

"WHAT?! YOU CAN'T FIRE THESE GUYS CAUSE IT'LL RUIN YOUR PERFECT RECORD?!!! Well guess what, I'm gonna ruin that face of you...!"

"Oh, please pardon my friend, she's so off putting that no anger management class would take her. Come-on Scoots, let's vamoose."

"Get your hands off me, I'm not done yet!" She yelled as hey passed Ted whom was making sexual jesters to the lady cashier next to him. Then, when they made it out of the supermarket...

"SUPERMARKET!!!!"

Scootaloo
VS.
The Supermarket.

We then cut to Scootaloo's apartment where she's suiting up with her weapons. Croquet mallet & balls, taping sharpened pencils to boxing gloves, then she glued a Christmas elf to a baseball bat.

"You're being extra naughty today! Also, can I finally have some food?"

"Shut-up you weak, pathetic drone! This is what you get for not telling me where Santa's workshop is! He'll get his eventually!"

Then when she was finished gearing-up her arsenal, it was time! She stood right in front of the...

*HONK!* *HONK!*

She then jumped out of the way as a car almost ran her over.

"Jerk!"

Then she pulled out her enemies list & wrote down: The black stallion with red & green mane who owns a corolla. Which was on the same page as: exterminators, midget dentists, soda cans left on the street, Brak & Zorak, the entire city of Los Pegasus, Lake Hylia, and The Pokemon: Leafeon. Then she marched. The security cams showed her on screen.

"Um boss, a lady loaded with weapons is heading to the entrance. What should I do?"

"Are you seriously this much of an idiot? Fight her! That's what guards do when thing get violent! Also, you better not fake it, or else you're fired!"

Then the fat guard approached Scootaloo.

"Hey! drop your weapons!" Then he pulled out a stungun.

"Go ahead, shock me, I'm used to these!"

Then the guard began trembling.

"..."

Then Scootaloo shot a croquet ball at the guard's head, knocking him out. Then she passed by a car that had Gumball Waterson, his siblings, and his dad inside because his mom told them all to go to wait in the car as punishment! Scootaloo was about to enter but then she jumped out of the way because Billy & his dad were trying to find a place to park in order for Billy to buy the frosted golden apple scraps and the jump cause all of her equipment to fall off and get destroyed by Harold's car!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME SAINT NICK?!!!" The elf tied to the baseball cried to the heavens as he prayed for death.

"Drat! I was so looking forward to showing that guy a painful time!"

Then Scootaloo decided to hangout next to Applebloom & Spike's car because she saw them exiting the supermarket through the huge gaping hole Harold's car made.

"There you are you are! Come-on yellow monkey, let's go destroy the supermarket!" Scootaloo said as she took Applebloom's wrist and tried pulling her.

"Um..no."

"What?! Spike, talk some sense into your idiot of a wife!"

5 minutes later we see Scootaloo tied to a streetlight across from the Supermarket's parking lot, then we see the League of Super Evil on their get away vehicle trying to escape Lightning Liz.

"Guess I'll have to get myself free."

Then Scootaloo slipped through the ropes. Then she called Applebloom on her phone.

Meanwhile...

*Bravoman ring tone*

"Hello?"

"Thought you could tie me up till Thursday huh? Nice try!"

"Honey."

"Fine, go help Scoots! Guess I'll be putting all of the groceries away myself." Spike said with an annoyed face.

Later...Applebloom arrived to Scootaloo's apartment.

"You're late!"

"Thanks for being such a good friend & coming to help me Applebloom, you're such a good pal."

"Blah, blah, blah, complain, complain, endless Jewish language!"

"Hey, that's completely rude!"

"Why should I give a crap? All's I care about right now is beating that store manager!"

"We could put up picket signs." AB suggested.

"Yeah, you could walk around looking like your usual stupid self while I sneak in and beat that loser-up!"

Then when they got into Applebloom's car.

"Promise to behave when we get there?"

*pinch!*

"Hey!"

"You treat me like a child, I pinch at you!"

*sigh*

After Applebloom finished her picket sign, she began the protest.

"Fire the incompetent employees they aren't fit to work here!" She chanted.

"Hehehehehehe!" she snickered as she snuck in. She passed by posters saying do not allow on premises! Which were pictures of Her, Dethklok, and Nicole Waterson.

The manager saw Scootaloo on the cameras but he had to stop the protester. So he escaped through the back door with a baseball bat in his hand, while he locked the door to his office. Scootaloo then tried opening the door, but it was locked, so she decided to take a bunch of stuff, put it in a cart, and pushed it very fast until she let go & let the impact of the shopping cart break the door down! Which it did. She entered the office, and saw no-one there, but the backdoor was left wide open.

"He isn't getting away from me!"

but then he heard a thumping sound in the manager's closet.

"Huh?"

"Fire the morons! Fire the morons!" Applebloom chanted, but that's when the manager arrived, and began swinging! "Ah!" Applebloom then ducked.

"Hey, what do you think you're doing?" Said a guy in the crowd.

"This protest is nonsense!"

"Actually it isn't, those people you hired are really incompetent." Replied another.

"Come-on guys, let's chant with this lady."

"Yeah!" Everyone else agreed.

"FIRE THE MORONS!!!"

That's when someone popped out of the crowd.

"Blank Idea! What is going on here?!"

"Manager Rumble!"

"Excuse me what?" Asked Applebloom.

"Hey Applebloom, I was just back after being interviewed by the health inspector at her office when all of a sudden, a crowd is saying fire the morons? I though I already did fire those morons! Black Idea, was this your doing?"

"I, um..."

"Uh..." Then Blank Idea began inching away, until his back hit something solid.

"Hello." Spike greeted.

"Blank, I thought I fired you & your friends, what are you doing here?"

That's when the fake employees were thrown out while tied-up.

"Hey guys, this bozo stuffed the real employees in the manager's closet the whole time!"

Then Rumble began dialing the cops, Blank tried getting away, but Spike held him down.

Later...

"Thanks guys, I never liked that guy, always trying to act like some sort of assistant manager, that's why he was fired." Rumble explained.

"No problem, annnnnd...you know Rumble, I never got to tell you how much of a good looking guy you were."

"R...really?"

"Wanna go get a burger later after the store closes?"

"Yes, absolutely!"

"It's a date. Hey, yellow chore monkey, drive me home!" Then Spike ties her up to the streetlight across from the Supermarket yet again, but this time wrote a note on her forehead saying pinata, and then Ponyville's baseball team began beating her senseless!

Ch.4: The Ninja of the Everfree Forest.

Scootaloo woke-up in Zecora's hut.

"Huh? Hey Z, what happened?"

"You fell asleep waiting for Applebloom,
then she left you to go home to her groom."

"Thanks, she is gonna get her's!"

"Maybe I shouldv'e told her about my new neighbor,
Eh, I'm sure he wont cause her danger.

I still have many potions to mix & make,
even one to make sure a certain someone doesn't cheat on Carrot Cake."

As Scootaloo ran through the Everfree forest, she couldn't help but feel she was being watched.

"Hey, Applebloom if you're trying to prank me, come-out, I know you're hiding there!"

Then a flurry of shurikens were shot at Scootaloo!

"Ah!" Then she dodged. "Throwing stars?! I'm outta here!" Then she stopped in front of a unicorn stallion in dark blue clothing covering everywhere except his forehead & eyes, and he had a headband that bore the equestrian insignia on it! "A Naruto style ninja?"

Then the ninja slashed with his sword, cutting off Scootaloo's T-shirt, tank top, and bra!

"Ah, you..." she was cut-off as the Ninja snapped a photo! "Hey! Gimme that pho..."

Then the ninja threw a smoke bomb, disappearing after the smoke cleared.

"That jerk, he...he...HE"S GOING TO PAY!!!" She shrieked in a monotonous, deep, and loud voice. "NINJA OF THE EVERFREE FOREST!!!"

Scootaloo
VS.
The Ninja of the Everfree Forest.

Scootaloo walked through the streets of Ponyville with an arm covering her breasts, turning heads, even causing stallions too crash their cars! When she finally made it to Applebloom & Spike's house, she kicked the door down!

"Scootaloo, there's a doorbell & you could have just knocked, also why are you top nude?"

"A ninja slashed my shirt & bra off, then snapped a pic of my boobs, you jerk! We gotta kick his butt, who knows how many more mares he's wronged?!" She explained as she flailed her arms

"Scootaloo, if that's a busted door, I swear I'm gonna..." Spike then stopped silent & in his tracks, jaw dropped at the shock of seeing Scootaloo's bare chest. "I'll tell you later..."

"I'll help yah later Scoots, I gotta remind my husband who exactly he's married too."

"Wait, can I borrow a shirt?"

"Nope, but I'll give you a towel."

"Fine, stupid!"

" *sigh!* "

1 and a half hours later...

"Famous Pop star: Sweetie Belle, will meet-up with her predecessor Sapphire Shores to write a song in order to formally pass the torch as Pony of Pop." The news caster announced.

"You rule so hard Sweetie Belle."

"Okay...*pant* *Pant* let's go, *pant* here's a towel, now I'll take you home."

"Right! Once we get to my place, we can forge a plan to defeat that stupid ninja!"

Later at Scootaloo's apartment...

"Here take a cherry soda."

"Don't suppose you got any apple juice?" Then she was slapped in the face. "Ow, what was that for?"

"For being your own reason as to why I can simply kill you, and then take Spike as my husband!"

"Umm...he aint into you."

"Seemed pretty into me a few hours ago!"

Then she slapped Scootaloo!

"Hey, don't you dare do that!"

"Then don't hit on Spike!"

"I might listen to that, but right now, let's focus on figuring out how to defeat the ninja!"

Then the front door slammed open, a silhouette walked in, as a bright white light followed behind...

"Who in the Sam hill are you old guy?" Applebloom wondered.

"That's the landlady's husband, look Mr.Battle Art, I know...10 months late on my rent, but I refuse to pay taxes!"

"Oh no, I not hele fol yo money, I hele because you have a bit of a ninja plobrem?"

"Mr.Battle Art, please don't talk like that, you're offending the Asian bronies & pegasisters who are reading this...which is ironic because the author is Filipino/Hawaiian himself."

"My Bad, so yeah I hear you're having a ninja problem & I think I can help."

"You really think so?" Asked Apple bloom.

"Why can an old guy like you teach us?" Scootaloo humored.

"I used to be the ninja's greatest rival! A samurai!"

"What? That's a lie!"

"Is it now? Well come with me, I'll show you that I actually am telling the truth."

Later...Mr.Battle Art pulled out a sword & swung!

"..." (Battle Art)

"..." (Apple Bloom)

"Yeah, I knew this was all bullcr..." Then she was cut off, as the car infront of them was split in half!

"Whoa, that was..."

*BOOM!* The buildings from across the street went as they were cut in half as well.

"You 2 have a rot of plactice to get to! You can stalt by CHASING THOSE KID OFFA MY WIFE'S RAWN!!!"

"Mr.Battle Art? The Asian readers are being offended, well at least the angry ones."

"Shut-up, let's get to practice now!"

Then we get a training montage! We start with Applebloom & Scootaloo trying to catch Pinkie Pie's energetic triplets to no avail. Then we see them attempting to slice a piece of grass in half! No effect! Then we see them striking trying to punch fish into baskets as they jump out of the river, no lunch sadly. Then we see them dodging rotten eggs being thrown at them in a comedy club for telling the worst jokes in history, sadly they couldn't avoid any & were covered in rotten egg yokes. They try to cut the grass again, but nothing! Scootaloo and Appleblom then try playing chicken with a chicken and a turkey, they lose!

Battle Art then begins losing hope for the 2! Later that night, Applebloom finds that Scootaloo's topless pic has been posted to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Myspace, and Tumblr! Scootaloo then felt a surge of rage within her body allowing her the power to try again! The next day Scootaloo catches the children, then tells Pinkie Pie, then Pinkie grounds her children. Scootaloo & Applebloom slash at the grass & finally cut it! Then Scootaloo & Applebloom punching fish into baskets, even punching Yao from Mulan into their basket, guess they'll be having Yao on the side...Oh God they literally just committed cannibalism! Oh-no, now they're looking at us because they want to eat even more human flesh! RUN!!! Also if you're an idiot following scary movie logic, then you deserve to just lay there and get eaten! Then Scoots & Ab slash stone in half!

After telling even more horrid jokes, they managed to doge the yokes, even catching a few eventually & throwing them back! Then they slashed Steel, Titanium, Iron, and gold in half! Uh-oh, that was Battle Art's anniversary gift, guess he'll be sleeping alone tonight, poor old guy. Then they finally beat the chicken & turkey, then have turken for dinner, good thing the big meal managed to help the land lady forget about her husband's neglegence. Then they slashed through Steel! Iron! Titanium! Diamond! Diatanium (Titanium Diamond fusion!)

The Next Day...

"Werr done my pupirs, it's time fol you 2 radies to kick that jelk's ass!"

"Battle Art, would you please quit that?"

"I'm sorry, it's just that, ever since Friends Forever issue 14 comic book starring Spike & Luna, my dreams of being Asian in the human world are gone, because the dragons are the Asians of the MLP universe apparently."

"Don't be sa...wait a minute...my husband is apparently Asian?"

"No time to think about that AB, we gotta kick some Ninja ass! Let's go!" Then Scootaloo dragged Applebloom away.

"Good luck!"

" *Giggle!* "

"Huh?"

"Oh hi Mr. Battle Art."

"Pinkie Pie, wh-hat are you doing? I thought you grounded your kids."

"Well...it turns out that your lawn is very fun to play in."

" *sigh* " as he face hoofed.

Meanwhile, the Everfree Forest was silent, Flitter & Cloudchaser wandered the Forest looking for a place to enjoy watching the migration of the Timberwolves who drag their asses across the floor...yeah, I made a dog joke about sentient wood. What? You ex[ected me to talk about their dog wood or something? F*Guitar riff!*K you. That's when the ninja surprised them!

"Ah!" Flitter gasped.

"Hey, are you trying to attack us, or inviting us to see the newest episode of Naruto at your place? If it's the 2nd one, We'll accept."

*Slash!* The shirts and bras were then cut in half, then here come the camera!

*Shing!* Then the camera fell in 2.

"You 2, go! We'll handle this!" Applebloom told them.

"How dare you stop me from showing the world Equestria's best boobs?!"

"What the hay are you talking about yah perv?" Apple Bloom asked in confusion.

"I have traveled across this entire world looking for nothing but fine chests, and Equestria only has fine chests! Even the girls who are going through puberty have fine chests, even the old ladies have fine chests in Equestria, and YOU WONT STOP ME FROM SHOWING THE WORLD!!! Via the internet."

"You nerdy piece of work, why don't you go ask out one of the 1000's of girls out there with the chests you love so much?"

"No! I'd don't date clients, A.K.A. my victims!"

"Victims? You're dead meat pal!" Scootaloo snapped. "By the way, we aren't pals!"

The fight began with the ninja using the shadow clone jutsu, but Scootaloo flew over them, they were about to catch & pull her down but then Applebloom cut all of the clones down.

"He's gone!"

They all looked around, then saw something suspicious about a tree, Scootaloo picked-up a rock and then threw it like a professional baseball player.

*Thud!*

"Ow! That was right in the scab!"

"There he is!" Scootaloo pointed out.

"You wont stop me!" Scootaloo went in for the slice but then the ninja used the substitution jutsu, and ended-up behind them! "Take this!" He then bit his thumb, and entered the correct hand signs for the summoning jutsu. "Inoshishi, Inu, Bado, Saru, Ram!" Then he slammed his hand down! "Summoning Jutsu!" Then a huge could of smoke covered the place! "You 2 are in trouble now, because I'm able to summon dragons with this jutsu, because I signed the contract allowing me to do so!"

"Get ready Apple bloom, for anything!"

"Right!"

"Hold-on! No-one in Naruto can summon dragons!" Scootaloo exclaimed

"Well this is a fan fiction, so anything can happen, just not on the Hub which has been stupidly re-branded into Discovery Family Network." The ninja replied.

"Good point."

Then as the smoke cleared...we see Spike wearing nothing but a towel while using an ear cleaner on his left ear, still kinda wet after getting out of the shower.

"W-what in the?"

"You are my temporary minion, destroy them!" Then he pointed to Scootaloo & Apple Bloom.

"Hi honey."

"Hiya Spike, will you..."

"Of course!"

"Wait! Why aren't you attacking them?"

"Because the yellow one is my wife!"

"Dang it!"

*Painful beating too horrific to be shown on screen & would most likely traumatize any children with an average thinking mind.*

Then after the ninja was beaten-up, the jutsu was released allowing Spike to teleport back home. Then Scootaloo walked over to the bruised, bashed, and battered pile of smoldering stallion that lay before her.

"Now, what are you going to do?"

"End my blog?"

"What else?"

"Leave Equestria and never return?"

"Aaaand?"

"B...burn all of the pictures I've taken over the years?"

"Good."

So the ninja destroyed the pictures, ended his blog & left Equestria.

"Well, now that all of that's over, I'll be heading home."

"Wait!"

"What?"

*BAM!!!*

"That's for thinking Spike was into you!"

Scootaloo lied there unconscious, until Zecora came by.

"What is this, a repetitive loop?
This time, you'll be sleeping in the chicken coop."