Fate/Stay Pony

Fate/Stay Pony

Turn Two: Golden Chalice

(Lancer’s P.O.V)

        It’s been three days since we broke out. I look about at the small forest we’ve settled into. Archer chose a really nice place  to settle us in. I breathe through my nose, and let the cool, clean air fill my lungs. Scratch that, Archer chose the BEST place for us to stay in. I leap up to the top of a tree, and extend my hands out. “Let’s see if I still got it in me…” I close my eyes, and focus my prana, feeling out at the many leylines in the earth. “Bingo!” My prana shoots out, cascading across the woods, sliding and shooting through trees, dirt, and rocks, reaching a kilometer out, and coming to an even halt.

        “Yeah. I still got it.” I hop down, and walk back to the hole in the dirt we call ‘home’.

        “Halt!” Oh, brother. Out of the brush, several guardsponies leap out, holding spears and shields.

        “In the name of the Royal Sisters, you are under arrest!” One of the guards pokes his spear forwards somewhat, like he’s trying to threaten me with it. Wow. I almost feel sorry for what I’m gonna do to them.

        “Oh, I’m so scared! Please don’t hurt me with your pointy sticks! I surrender! I give! I’ll do anything!” I wrap my hands together, mockingly crying out for mercy. I sense the prana of one guard behind me, probably trying to hold me down in some way. I feel my arms tied up along my torso, and- wait, are they using rope? They’re using rope. On someone who is considered an ancient and high class threat. Okay, on second thought, I have no regrets.

        “Get on the ground, now!” The guy who looks like he’s in charge barks loudly at me, spittle flying from his muzzle. Somepony missed his morning cup of coffee.

        “I’m not yer mother last night!” And they’re taking exception to that.

        “Get him!” Oh, this is the fun part.

        “Let's see ya try!” The guards level their spears, before lunging out at me. I jump, and stand perfectly on one of them.

        “Hey! Get off!” The guard swings his spear around, and knocks it into other guards.

        “Alright.” I jump into the air, and generate my own lance. I land with my lance in the ground. When another guard strikes at me, I handstand upon the butt of my lance, and let his spear strike empty air. I drop my foot down on his head, letting the sound of dented metal fill the air. A pegasus guard tries to get an aerial attack in, but I swing around the lance, and knee him in the gut.

        A unicorn shoots a bolt of magic at me, which simply dissolves due to my high Magic Resistance. In response, I lunge at him, and give him a swift jab in the throat, leaving him to cough and gag. I hop back, and swing my lance, tripping the majority of the group.

        “Well, this has been fun, gentlecolts, but I do believe it’s time I wrap this sad little display up.” I draw my lance from the ground, and swing it about several times, creating a small vortex, filled with my od. The miniature wind tunnel drags the guardsmen into the air, and propels them about. They slam into trees, bushes, and the dirt with heavy *THUDS* and moan in pain.

        “If you’ve all had your fill, then I will be on my way.” I turn, and briskly march my way home, when I feel a magic blast hit me in the back of the head.

        “You’re… not… gonna get… away…” A unicorn guard, with bright blue eyes, and a multi-tone mane growls, trying to pull himself to his feet. “By my honor… as a lieutenant of Princess Celestia’s Royal Guard, I WILL take you down, or my name’s not Shining Armor!”

        “... I’m sorry, but would you care to repeat that?” I hold a hand to my ear, “I couldn’t quite hear that last bit.”

        The unicorn grunts, “You heard me… I’m going to bring you in before Princess Celestia, vampire!”

        “...” I feel my hands trembling, and my lip turns into a snarl, before turning around, and grabbing him by the throat, “DON’T YOU EVER CALL ME BY THAT! I AM NO VAMPIRE, YOU INSOLENT WHELP! I AM LANCER, SERVANT OF THE HOLY GRAIL, AND YOU ARE NOTHING BUT AN INSECT, WHO HAS NO UNDERSTANDING OF THE WORLD AROUND HIM!” I throw him into a tree, and just as he bounces off its bark, I slam the pole of my lance into his throat, “LOOK AT ME! DO I LOOK LIKE A DEAD APOSTLE TO YOU? HUH? DO I BURN IN SUNLIGHT? NO! I WALK IN THE DAY, LIKE EVERY OTHER LIVING THING! THE SUN’S LIGHT DOES NOTHING TO ME, MUCH LIKE YOURSELF!” I feel my muscles begin to contort and reform, but I force them to remain the same.

        “I could render you to PIECES right now… But I won’t.” I remove the lance, and let him drop to the ground, “That would be exactly what you want. You want us to be looked upon as monsters. I won’t give you the satisfaction. You’re not worth it.” I kick him in the side, “Run along now, dog. Return to your broken little master. Tell her that you took your regiment and almost got them killed. Tell her that Lancer spared you, even after you called me by the title which I hate most.”

        The unicorn growls at me, and I turn around, dismissing my lance. I walk over the bodies of his comrades. “Don’t think you’ll get away with this! I’ll get you!”

        “I’ll grant your death wish later.” I give him one last glare, before disappearing into the underbrush.

(Shining Armor’s P.O.V, 3rd person, 2 hours later)

        “You did WHAT?” Shining recoils as Celestia screams from her bed.

        “Your Highness, I realized that we couldn’t let those monsters remain rogue any longer than they already were. Innocent ponies could be hurt. I had to do something!” Shining steps forward, trying to keep his composure.

        “Shining Armor, I already said that the Servants were NOT to be attacked! A single one is too dangerous for anypony to fight! You should consider yourself lucky that it was Lancer you came across. Imagine what would’ve happened if it was Berserker, or Assassin!” Shining’s ears droop as the thoughts pass through his head. Memories of what the two Servants were said to be capable of flash through his mind. A chill slides through his spine, and he feels his muscles ache again.

        “And what’s more, you were still stupid enough to say the one thing that Lancer refuses to let slide! You referred to him as an undead! Frankly, it’s a miracle your regiment is still alive.” Celestia glares at the unicorn officer, levitating a cup of tea to her lips.

        “Well, now we know where they are, and-” Shining is cut off by Celestia raising her hoof. Once she swallows her tea, she glares at the captain.

        “And what? You would’ve gone in there, captured them, and walked out a hero? No, it does NOT work like that, Lieutenant Shining Armor! First off, you only encountered ONE when he was ALONE. For all we know, he could’ve merely been taking a very long walk. Knowing Lancer, he likes to do that... Secondly, the Servants cannot be taken on by anything the Royal Guard has in our inventory. No amount of guards could possibly hope to stand against the seven when united. Third, even if that WAS their home base, they now probably are moving to another place.”

        Shining growls, and stamps his hoof, “What am I supposed to do then? Tell me, Princess! What is the Royal Guard to do?”

        “NOTHING!” The entire hospital corridor goes silent, with nurses and doctors staring through the window at the two. “You do… nothing. You can’t fight them. All we can do… is hope that Archer was being truthful… when he said that he and his allies are done killing innocents. Archer is right. My sister and I… we are not nearly as strong as we once were. We’ve fallen from our power. one thousand years… While they were frozen solid. We haven’t the power to fight them.”

        Shining puffs his chest out, “We still have the Elements of Harmony. Those always work, right? They sealed Discord, they purified Princess Luna… Surely we can use those to stop the Servants?”

        Celestia sighs, “At this point… I’m not sure we’d even get the chance… The Servants are clever. They would eliminate the Elements before we could even consider using them.”

        “So… what? We just… wait at their mercy?”

        “What else can we do, Shining Armor? What else can we do?”

(Saber’s P.O.V)

        I walk into the den, and look around the room, to see Caster at the stove, casting spells, trying to ignite it. Another sigh, and I see the source: Assassin’s sitting at a table, head in her hands.

        “Hey, old sport. How ya doing?” Archer sits down by her side, and tassels her hair.

        “Bored. Nothing to do. Food’s not ready yet.” She scratches her arm, looking around.

        Archer chuckles, “Well, it’ll be boring like this for a while, and Caster’s almost done setting up the stove, see?” He points, and a large blue flame erupts from the appliance, lightly toasting Caster’s face.

        “I’m okay!”

        Archer shrugs, “Ah, she’ll be fine. But as for me… my arm’s been aching for a while now…” He holds his upper arm, and begins rubbing it, a look of faux anxiety on his face.

        She start giggling, “Please, no! Don’t do it, Archer!”

        “Too late… it’s becoming… a CLAW!” With that, he grabs her, and begins a tickle fight, her giggling filling the entire den with laughter.

        “No! No, please! HAHAHAHAHAHA!” The girl laughs and squeals, while Archer continues his assault.

        He raises his arm dramatically, “Nothing can stop the CLAW! Run, Jackie! Save yourself!”

        Assassin runs away, and hides behind me. “Do the claw to Saber! Do it to Saber!”

        Oh, hell no. I glare at Archer, who stops dead in his tracks. “Oh, no. You found the claw’s only weakness; sub-zero temperatures! WAAAGH, pttbh!” ‘The claw’ dies, and Archer rubs his arm. He drops to the ground, and begins kissing my shoes,“Thank you, Saber! You saved us all from the tyranny of the claw! Tell me, how can I EVER repay you?”

        “For starters, you can get off your knees…” I grab him by the collar, and hoist him to his feet, “And do something useful. This place is barely considered operational, our beddings aren’t set up yet, and we have no system for organizing anything.”

        Archer shakes his head, “Oh, fine.” He leans in, and gives me a kiss on the cheek, “Spoilsport.”

        Caster calls over her shoulder, “Hey, guys! The stove’s working! Whoo-hoo!”

        I grin, “That’s great. I’m kind of in the mood for something nice and warm. How about you guys?”

        Lancer steps into the den, “Hello, everybody! I’m BAAACK!”

        Archer looks to him, “Oi, Lancer! What took ya so long? Making a territory shouldn’t take that long.”

        “I took a stroll.” That’s Lancer for ya.

        I turn to him, “Well, if you’re done walking, we just got the stove working. Wanna sit down and join us?”

        “That’d be just perfect right now.” Lancer drops himself into a chair, and leans back, “Ah… This feels great.”

        Caster waves the kettle through the air, and places it on the stove, “Uhm… we only have tea, if that’s alright with you guys. Forgot to stock up on coffee.”

        Archer shrugs, “It’s alright with me.”

        Lancer does the same, “Meh. Don’t really care.”

        Assassin sits up at the table, “I’ve never tried it before. Can I have some?”

        I look at her, “Why not? I’ll have some, too, Caster.”

        Archer grins, “Alllrighty then! Since we’re all in agreements, I’ll just get us the cups.”

        Lancer takes a moment, “Ah, shit. We forgot cups. Uhm, Archer, what’re you doing?

        “I am the leaf of my tea.” Oh, no.

“Catechins are my body, and theanine is my blood.” You have got to be kidding me…

“I have prepared over a thousand cups.” I’m gonna get him for this.

“Unknown to spills, nor known to bad taste.” … On second thought, this is kinda funny. Stupid, but funny.

“Have withstood great pain to pour many cups.” REALLY stupid.

“Yet this mouth will never drink anything.” Yeah, forget it. It’s not funny.

“So, as I pray; Unlimited Tea Works!” On the table, several teacups appear, complete with a small burst of fire and prana.

“That was kinda funny!” Caster giggles as she walks over to the table, and pours into each cup.

“Well, I don’t mean to brag…” Archer leans back, a smug grin on his face. He looks to me, “What?”

“... You’re sleeping on the floor tonight.”

Archer looks at Assassin, “Hey, Jackie?”

Assassin takes a smallsip from her cup, “Yeah, Archer?”

“Remember that song I taught you? About people who don’t like fun?”

“Oh, yeah!”

“Mind singing it with me right now?”

“Every party needs a pooper, that’s why they invited you!” They both point at me, with Assassin giggling.

“You little-” “Party pooper! Party pooper!” They keep singing, and now they dance around the room, swinging their teacups and laughing.

“I forgot. I’m dealing with an immature little girl… and Jackie.” A chorus of ‘ooh’s follows.

“Ouch. Going for the low blows, now? C’mon, old sport. Don’t be like that.” He drapes an arm over my shoulder, and whispers into my ear, “We can still have fun, right?” A shudder rolls down my spine. I hate it when he does this.

“... You’re a real asshole, you realize that, right?”

He steps back, “Doesn’t mean ya don’t like it.” He hands me one of his teacups, grinning wildly.

“Fine.” I take the cup into my hand, and drink. “Hm… not bad. Actually… this tea’s pretty good. Caster, do you know what kind it is?”

The fox smiles, “I think it’s called-” She’s interrupted quickly enough by a golden glow tearing through the den. The light grows and grows, until it completely blinds us all.

“ARCHER!”

“WHAT’S GOING ON? HEY!”

“HELP! ARCHER! SABER! MOMMA! HELP ME!”

“What is this… this power?”

“GRRRAAAAAAOOOOOGGGGHHHH!” I hear the thrashing of Berserker. He’s probably trying to attack the source of the light. The sound of a shockwave echoes through the den, and I hear Berserker collide with the wall.

“GYAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!”

“BERSERKER!” I’m still blind. I can’t see. Why’s it so bright? I can’t see… anything…

Wait… That’s not what it is… This light… No way… It can’t be… I’m seeing…

The Holy Grail.

(Caster’s P.O.V.)

What’s going on? What’s with all this prana I’m sensing? It’s so… vast.

My vision’s clearing… I can see… a cup? A chalice? That’s what it looks like…

Come, children.

Who said that?

I did, of course.

Well… who’re you?

Come forth, and I shall show you. And your friends, while we’re at it. I would like to get this over with as soon as possible.

“CASTER! Don’t go near it!” I see Saber holding Aestus Estus, glaring at me. “Don’t.”

Be silent, child. If you’ll merely come closer… I can explain.

What? Explain what? “Saber… Archer… What IS that thing?” Rider, armed with her daggers, glares at the chalice.

My, my. This is what the Heroic Spirits of legend are like? Scared little worms? Oh, I forgot. You’re not ‘really’ them, are you?

Archer lowers Kanshou and Bakuya, “How do you know?”

Child… Do not toy with me. I know all. All that is, all that has been, and all that will be. Such is the nature of the Holy Grail.

No way. “Y-you’re the Holy Grail?”

Yes… I am indeed the Holy Grail, of which an infinity of wars have been waged over. I am that which has summoned all of your… ‘predecessors’ to battle, for my wish-granting power.

In my imagination, my mind’s eye I see a hand-like… thing pointing at my friends. First, Archer. He stands astounded, like he can see it in his mind’s eye, too.

EMIYA, the Wrought Iron Hero, King of Swords, Blacksmith Mage, he who was betrayed by the very humankind he swore to protect, yet still wishes to protect them. A warrior who has mastered Projection and Reinforcement magecraft. You wield many Noble Phantasms of warriors old, and new. From Hrunting, to Caladbolg, to Caliburn, to even Mjolnir. You wield these, along with many others, in your Reality Marble, Unlimited Blade Works.

The hand changes direction, to Saber.

Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus; the Empress of Rome, and Whore of Babylon, she who was betrayed by everyone, despite her relentless love of all her subjects. You wield no skills of your own, but can acquire new ones through sheer audacity and rejection of basic fact. You wield the sword Aestus Estus, and your Noble Phantasm is Aestus Domus Aurea, where you, in the very theater you designed, can now bend the rules to your own will.

The ‘hand’ aims its accusing… appendage now at Lancer, who glares at the mental image.

Vlad III, the Lord Impaler, Dracula. King of Wallachia, he who held off the Ottoman Empire at the cost of countless innocent civilians impaled and left to the flies. This has given you the Noble Phantasm Kazikili Bey, letting you impale all within your territory. Your legend, corrupted by the tales of the Dead Apostles, has now given birth to your second Noble Phantasm, Legend of Dracula.

Now it aims at Rider.

Medusa, the Bewitching Black Serpent, she who was cursed by Poseidon’s wife and Athena in their jealousy. You wield the Noble Phantasm Bellerophon, allowing you to tame the already divine beast, the Pegasus, which sprang from your neck, and enhance its heavenly capabilities.

The appendage aims itself to Assassin, who hides behind Saber.

Jack the Ripper, Legendary Serial Killer, she who carved her way through the whores of London to find comfort in the womb once more. Your Noble Phantasm’s name is Maria the Ripper, the very daggers used to tear unto your victims to find solace.

Now it aims at Berserker, who growls in response.

Lancelot, the Knight of the Lake, he who served King Arthur- or, Arturia, rather- and began an affair with his Queen, only to rebel, hoping to be slain and relieve himself of shame. You wield the Noble Phantasms; For Someone’s Glory, allowing you to obscure your true identity, and parameters, to all; Knight of Honor, allowing you to wield any weapon as if it were a part of your own body; and finally Arondight, the blade you wielded in life against all of your King’s foes… and your king.

Now, the hand points to… me.

Don’t think I forgot about you. You are Tamamo no Mae, incarnation of the Sun Goddess Amaterasu. Your fascination with humanity made you be destroyed by them. Your Noble Phantasm is the Eightfold Blessing of Amaterasu, one of the sacred possessions of your true goddess form. While you are unable to use its full power, you can activate it temporarily to grant yourself unlimited prana during its activation period.

Archer steps forwards, levelling his blade at the chalice, “Alright. You know who we are. We know who you are… kinda. But we don’t know what you want.”

Impatient whelp. I am here specifically for you, Heroic Spirits. I am here to grant you information, and a… ‘boon’, of sorts.

“What kind of boon? And why should we trust you? You’re a talking cup that’s inside our heads.” Saber aims Aestus Estus, and Assassin draws her daggers.

Simply come closer, and I shall share all information with you. Come now, if I wanted to harm you, I’d have gone to someone else and had them wish you out of existence, wouldn’t I? And yet… here you are. Which means my intentions do not involve bringing you harm. So please, come. Let me educate you on what the universe truly plans for you.

I feel my feet dragging themselves forwards. “Caster, NO! Don’t do it! You have no idea what it could do to you!”

I freeze.

I am not going to bring any of you any harm. Trust me.

I walk again.

“Caster!”

“WRRRAAAAGH!” Berserker gets between me and the Grail. I toss him aside.

Hmph. Remember, you’re doing this of your own free will.

My hand reaches out. I feel the cold metal, and my fingers dance along the edge.

Come. Let me show you the truth of the universe.

I touch it.

“CASTER!”

Good. Very very good.

My mind goes blank. But my eyes, I still see. I see as the Grail shoots light through me, into my friends.

What’ve I done?

Nothing, little girl. I just used your power to reach out to them. They were being… uncooperative, and I am not one for wasting time.

I didn’t want to hurt them!

Of course you didn’t. That’s why I didn’t. I only restrained them. Now, if you lot are all done struggling…

LET US BEGIN.

Before me, I see infinity. Worlds being born and dying in the blink of an eye. A butterfly, caught in time.

The truth of the universe is simple. It lies within possibilities, children. Every possible outcome exists. Let’s say… you gamble at Vegas.

A roulette table, the size of Mars, manifests, with chips the size of the Himalayas.

You bet on black. You lose. You have to pay up.

Coins and dollars jingle in air.

But… let’s say you bet on red, and you win.

Bills fly about, before bursting into flame.

Now let’s say you decide to say, as you would put it, ‘fuck it’, and burn the whole casino down.

Screaming fills the air. Blood and bodies are tossed in the air.

Everything that could happen, WILL happen. Every speculation that is, and isn’t made, is accounted for. Every variable: guaranteed to be presented in every spectrum. Now, between all of these possibilities, who’s there to make sure it all works out nicely?

Dimensions shatter, and collide. They demolish each other. Galaxies burn. Death lives. Lines become curves.

The System Administrators, that’s who. They tend to the universal balance, to insure all that emerge from the Root of the World are properly in place. They sometimes destroy worlds, sometimes rewrite them, sometimes create them. And then there’s the Merchant.

The hooded man. The silver eye.

The one whose behavior has been completely unknown to all. His goals are a mystery, even to me, the Holy Grail. You are not the only ones he has altered like this.

Lights travel. Earth. Equestria. Burning. Freezing. Death. Life. Gods. Kings. Warriors. Peasants.

Many have been sent out across the stars thusly. You are but a small, small group.

A warrior with the name of the King of Heroes. A man who UNDERSTANDS all of reality. A woman who controls gravity, seeking to atone for her sins. A fallen angel who wields the power of death. A boy with ten alternate minds within his body. A knight who worships the sun.

They have learned to contact each other. They offer each other guidance, assistance, and companionship. They cut down each others’ enemies, and defend each others’ allies. These beings, known to each other as the Displaced, are why I am here. You are Displaced like them. Thus, you need a method to contact them. That is why I am here.

The Grail. Magic circle. Seven within. Command Seals. Contracts.

Whether or not you actually respond to them is none of my concern. But, with you as Heroic Spirits, it is my duty to insure your summoning is done proper. Travelling through the Void Eternal is no easy task, mind you. It’s easy to get lost… and even if you know the path there may be… unexpected visitors, along the path.

Fangs without a mouth. Eyes without a skull. All bone, yet not alive. Cold, yet not dead.

I shall send you where you must go. I shall grant you any knowledge relating to each world, and thus allow you to work best there and minimize culture shock. If the contracting Displaced needs a politician dead, you kill them. If they need a city defended, you defend it. If you perform in a manner that entertains me enough, I shall see fit to reward you as time passes. I care not what you do, as long as it is interesting enough to pass the time.

Time. Clocks. Gears. Hours. Minutes. Days.

I hope you make this an intriguing show for me. Remember, I will alwaysbe watching. Now, before I send you off, know that Iwill be making and receiving calls, as well as directing ‘traffic’. Not you. And I’ll be making our first, very, verysoon.

(Rider’s P.O.V.)

My head quits shaking, and I sit up. Around me, I hear the sound of my friends, standing up and groaning.

“Woah… You guys got all that, right?”

“I feel like my brain’s gonna explode. So many thoughts… Big universe… Merchant…”

“Many… places… see… all...” Berserker growls out, struggling to rise to his feet. That’s right. He liked to travel. Can’t really tell now, with his Mad Enhancement, but when we’re out of a  fight, it weakens a little, and he can Hulk speak his way through the day.

“I know. But for now… we should remain prepared for whatever might come around.” I hear Lancer and Archer rise to their feet.

Lancer shifts his boots along the ground, “Can you believe it? Every possibility… Like… does that mean that you technically didn’t pass the bar exam, Rider?”

“Shut up. Don’t wanna think now. Wanna sleep-”

That’s nice. But you probably won’t be able to sleep through this.

Wait, what?

TO ALL WHO HEAR MY MESSAGE. I AM THE HOLY GRAIL OF LEGEND, THE SACRED RELIC THAT MEN HAVE WAGED WARS FOR. THE ARTIFACTS I SEND OUT NOW, AND WHICH YOU MAY HOLD IN YOUR HANDS, IS A MERE IMITATION OF ME. THROUGH THESE PALTRY IMITATIONS, YOU MAY ESTABLISH A CONTRACT, AND I SHALL SEND YOU AN APPROPRIATE HEROIC SPIRIT TO SERVE YOUR NEEDS. I SHALL PROVIDE YOU WITH THE INCANTATIONS AND NECESSARY KNOWLEDGE OF THE SUMMONING RITUALS NEEDED FOR MY CONTRACT. THE SERVANT WHICH SHALL APPEAR BEFORE YOU SHALL WIELD IMMENSE POWER. RENDING MOUNTAINS TO DUST, RESHAPING ENTIRE VALLEYS, ALTERING THE VERY LAWS OF NATURE, ARE ALL CHILD’S PLAY TO MY HEROIC SPIRITS. SHOULD YOU CHOOSE TO COMMAND THEM, YOU SHALL BE GRANTED COMMAND OVER A POWER UNLIKE ANYTHING ELSE. BE WARNED: THEY MAY BE SERVANTS, YET THEY ARE NOT SLAVES. HANDLE THEM WITH CAUTION, LEST THEY PROVE TO BE YOUR UNDOING.

I feel a burst of prana, and the light from the Holy Grail pierces even my Breaker Gorgon, casting itself into the sky. The sheer power it emits is ridiculous.

“Well, now we’re demigod level mercenaries. That happened. Who wants to play the waiting game until we get our first caller?” Saber asks, with only the faintest hint of shock in her voice.

Another voice from outside echoes into the den, “Hey! We know you’re here somewhere! C’mon out right now, and we’ll take you to the Princesses with as little hassle as possible!”

Fuck you, Grail. Fuck you.

Oh, how your words wound me so.

(Lancer’s P.O.V.)

As I stare at the freshly formed hole in our ceiling, courtesy of the Grail, a voice bounces through it. “Hey! We know you’re here somewhere! C’mon out right now, and we’ll take you to the Princesses with as little hassle as possible!”

I leap out of the new opening, and leap along the treeline for a while. I see my victims, leap into the air, and slam my lance into the earth. I raise my head slowly, trying to gain as many drama points as possible. I see those Mane 6 Rider kept telling us about back in the day. “Well, well, well. Look what we have here. The Helements of Armory-”

“Elements of Harmony.” Purple Smart shoots at me swiftly, a slight look of irritation on her face.

“-Thinking that they can just waltz in and hit us hard just because of a little light show.” I swing my lance around, and hold it at my back, “Need I inform you that one of you,” I point to the airborne squeaky toy, “Is still recovering from broken ribs- by the way, even with magical treatments, I’m still impressed you’re able to walk, let alone fly after how hard Archer hit you. What was I saying again? Oh, yeah. One has broken ribs. Another,” I point to Marshmallow, “Honestly can’t even take a hit from a child, let alone a stone-shattering strike from a Heroic Spirit. Another one,” I aim my lance at Butter Coward, “Is scared of her own shadow. And this is what Celestia throws at us. Not sure if I should be impressed or insulted.”

“HEY!” Of all the six, I was NOT expecting Buck Norris to get angry at that. “You just watch yet tongue, buster! Because our friendship is more than strong enough to put you and yer freaky friends back where ya belong!”

“Let her go!”

“Why should I?” This actually surprises them. “Really, why should I? If I do, you can use your magical necklaces to put me and my comrades in stone, again, for some… less than pleasant things, that we literally had no choice in doing. It was either do it of our own accord, or have them use the Command Seals on us, and then we’d have made sure to make every pony we saw… suffer.” With that, I draw my lance’s blade along Cotton Candy’s throat, opening a small wound, letting blood drip down the blade, onto the handle.

“And, if I were to let her go, how threatening would that make us look? ‘Oh, he just let the pony go because we asked him to. Those Servants can’t be that tough! Let’s get ‘im!’ You know what that would’ve resulted in? A bunch of pointless bloodshed. A bunch of overly confident ponies, minotaurs, griffins, and Root knows what else throwing themselves at a meat grinder. So… why should I let her go, again?”

“Because I’m telling you to.” Archer leans against a tree, holding a scimitar of some sort, along with a rapier.

“Fine.” I remove the lance, and toss Cotton Candy into her friends.

Archer steps forwards, “It was foolish of you to come here. I’m guessing you think your Elements can stop us?”

Purple Smart glares, “Yeah! We’ll stop you right here and now!”

“You realize the time it takes to actually charge the Elements to firing stage, right?”

I never saw any group of people go from ‘yeah!’ to ‘Oh, crap’. so fast.

“Even after a thousand years in stone, I never forgot the time it took Celestia and Luna to prepare the first shot, the one that started our downfall. One minute. One. Whole. Minute. To charge the Elements enough so that they can fire a full shot to seal someone. Now, you’re a smart pony. You know how fast we are.” With this, he moves in, the rapier aimed right at Purple Smart’s eye, “Imagine what we can do in that one minute.”

He lowers his blades, “You’ll be dead before you can even start. That kind of attack needs cover, cover you literally do not have. No guard is capable of defending you from any of us. Lancer? He’s skilled enough to maneuver his way around any defense. Saber? Can cut it down. Berserker? Barrel through a brick wall and wouldn’t even notice. Caster? Could turn an entire regiment into fireworks. Assassin? She can disappear from battle instantly. It’s her purpose, after all. Rider? Her Pegasus is a Divine Beast, that damn thing can move like a bolt of lightning, and has armor like solid iron. And as for me? Well…” He chuckles lightly. “My maximum firing range with my bow is four kilometers. And I can launch over a dozen arrows in one second. One.”

He steps forwards, twirling the blades, “Realize, for a moment, how absolutely outclassed you are. The chances of you honestly being able to stop us are second to none. Run away now, while we’re still feeling merciful. We just want to be left alone, and you are intruding on that. I don’t want to send six girls back in body bags. Your families shouldn’t be told that you died because you were overconfident. Just face reality, old sport.” He turns, and his shroud flutters in the wind, “Your friendship couldn’t stop us. Not now, not ever.”

Purple Smart stomps. “No.”

Archer halts, “No?”

“I said no. I don’t care if you’re stronger than us. Nightmare Moon is stronger than us. Discord is infinitely so. We still beat them. And we can sure as hay beat you. Let’s get ‘em, girls!”

The chorus of ‘yeah’ and ‘yee-haw’ lead to the ponies leaping out and attacking us.

Archer scoffs, dodging an easily broadcasted blow from Marshmallow,“I don’t want to give them the chance. Lancer.”

“Hmm?”

He disappears, and reappears standing on a tree. “Break them.”

“You got it, boss.” I look to the six, “Well, looks like I might have something more interesting than a couple of dunderhead guards to play with.”

The six begin rotating around me, like a pack of sharks. They’re trying to cut off my means of escape. And they’re doing poorly.

“Well? Ya gonna sit there? Or are we gonna fight?” That causes Buck Norris to lunge, and try to land a kick. Her leg muscles are well-developed, indeed. But nowhere near strong enough to harm even Assassin. I swing, and use the blunt end of my lance to toss her into the air. As she flies up, Butter Coward flies at me. I look at her questioningly, which makes her back away, whispering apologies.

“Gotcha!” I feel a magical aura surround me, coming from Marshmallow. The aura dissipates immediately. “What?”

“Magic Resistance. Standard skill of the Lancer class. Means weak magic won’t do anything to me. However, I don’t think you are very resistant to… anything.” I now tower over her, my lance poised high for a finishing blow. She faints. Meh, saves me the effort of cleaning it later.

“Get away from Rares, ya varmint!” To my astonishment, a rope lasso comes up, and wraps around my upper torso, restraining my arms like something from an 80s cartoon.

I sigh, “This is just getting sad.” I jump in the air, and spin rapidly, causing Buck Norris to lose hold of the rope. As I come down, I drop my foot on her neck, shattering the necklace’s brace, sending the broken gemstone flying away.

I shout loudly, “Assassin!” The Element disappears, only to reappear in the hands of little Jackie.

I grin, stepping back, and spinning my lance, “Boss, you want us to get another? Or is this good?”

Archer stares at Assassin, “Good enough.” He dismisses the blades he held, and steps forwards, taking and holding the Element in the air, “Look closely, Elements of Harmony, and any other servants of the Royal Sisters! By claiming only one of their number, we have rendered the entire group useless. Such is the flawed nature of your ‘friendship’. The reason your species shall never hope to reach our level of power? I shall tell you now, plain and simple: you depend on each other too much. Your herd ideology has made you weak. Each of you have only a single skill set, and because of that, you have no individuality. You’re little more than puzzle pieces. You do not adapt or develop new abilities. You stay to how you are. If you cannot solve a problem, you go to ask another for help. We think of a different way. We think of, instead of using all of the applications of our own skill sets, developing new ones. And that is why you have lost today. YOu have met a foe that adapts to you. Return to Celestia. Tell her I said… the Grail has sent us back into service. And then, if you know what’s good for you… don’t return to this place. This is your only warning. Come at us again, and I will not have Lancer merely ‘break you’. Next time, Berserker will destroy you.”

Archer turns around, and leaps through the woods. Assassin looks to the ponies, “Listen to him.” She disappears, as well.

I tilt my head, “You heard ‘em. Don’t fuck with us anymore. Good day to you.” I bow, and with that, I take my leave.

(Assassin’s P.O.V.)

“What the hell was that all about, Archer?” Lancer screams at Archer. He’s angry.

“I needed to make sure they didn’t catch us by surprise with the Elements. So, I had you take one. You know that.” Archer places the Element on the table, and sits down, projecting a cup of tea.

“I know all about that, you idiot! I’m asking about that thing you did with that speech at the end! That was TOTALLY uncalled for!”

“Au contraire. It was COMPLETELY called for.” Archer sips his tea, now with a smug grin. “Establishing dominance is how all predators mark their territory. If others stray into their borders, then they have to discipline them. This is just that. Eventually, they’ll learn to leave us alone. Now that we have a piece of their ‘ultimate weapon’, they won’t be able to go all out with a Sun Strike or anything.”

Everyone shudders. That was a big light show. Almost like the Grail. But it burned.

“How’s THAT work?”

“They don’t want to risk destroying their precious ‘Element of Honesty’. They want to reclaim it. Meanwhile, we will actually be moving it to a completely separate location of which we will make absolutely no mention, maps, notes, or passing remarks regarding. And in this location, it shall be sealed in such a way as to insure it cannot be entered by any species. Like, mayhaps, a vault within the middle of that one fire swamp Rider mentioned in one episode. Give it the right paint job, hide it behind one of those plumes of flame, and voila!” Archer tosses his tea cup in the sky, and it vanishes.

“The chances of getting that Element back? Zero.” Archer stands up, and stretches, “That’s also how much energy I have left. If’n you don’t mind, Lancer old buddy, old pal, I’m gonna hit the hay.” He walks by me, “You should probably go to sleep too, old sport. Don’t wanna be all grumpy tomorrow! We’re gonna have a lot of fun then!”

He looks to me cheerfully, and I smile. “We are?”

“Yeah! So you better be in bed so I can tuck ya in!”

“Oh, boy!” I run to my room and jump into bed, waiting for Archer.

‘He appears at the doorway, and walks to my bed, “Okay, g’night, Jackie.” He slides the covers up, patting me on the head.

“Good night... Papa.”

(Archer’s P.O.V.)

“Good night… Papa.” I look back at her twice, and rub at my temples, trying to process what I just heard.

Alright… I’ll be papa. I lean in, and kiss her forehead.

As I exit her room, I see Saber leaning against the wall. “So, is that what this is becoming?”

“Looks it… mama.”

A punch to my arm. “Just get to bed already. I’ll be waiting.”

Oh, my.