Our planet lays barren, without any signs of human life. Societies lost in time, destroyed, not a memory of them. All of this is because... Uh... I don't really know, even though I'm an omnipresent- Wait, why am I telling you this...? Anyway, it's probably Black Mesa's fault.
Somewhere in this deserted Earth, was a strange muted freak, carrying a big cube with drawings of hearts on it, looking for some food and trying to restore this destroyed society, but we are not talking about her. No, we are talking about someone else... Or is it something? Whatever.
Way, way down Earth's crust lays the ruins of the once glorious Aperture Science Laboratories. This inmense facility was the leading manufacturer of... Shower courtains! Oh, wait no. That was way before, like, in the '40's, and it was called Aperture Fixtures. No, no, no. We are talking about the leading force in testing and science! Yes, that's it! Or, well, it was. You see, as I said before, this facility is a shadow of what it was. It's full of intrincate tests and contraptions, even though they are like, really dangerous. Still, its better than Black Mesa.
If we see inside this facility we'll find our subject of today. The demonic, psychopath A.I call--WHOAH! LOOK! AN ORCHESTRA OF SENTRY TURRETS...! Ahem... No more interruptions. Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes, the cruel A.I called GLaDOS! She was the creation of the brightest minds in the world and it was designed as a research assistant, but it went wrong and... Killed all the scientists with neurotoxin... Yeah.
GLaDOS is the one that controls the huge facility, and she controls it for one purpose only: To perform tons of tests for the progress of science! But, the problem is this: She's bored. Extremely bored. Since she let that muted freak escape from Aperture, she didn't have anyone to interact with. Okay, she had Atlas and P-Body, they were doing a good job keeping that itch for testing under control, but, they weren't like humans, they couldn't be taunted and they didn't try to kill her like... Chell. Okay, she hated to admit it, but she missed Chell.
Anyway, GLaDOS was currently digging. Not, like, literally digging, she was looking through all the projects of Aperture Science, those created by Cave Johnson, just to keep herself a little occupied. She could see all of them in one milisecond, but, where is the fun on that?
Cave was a strange man, he had an unusual mindset when it came to science, but he was the one who built Aperture Science from the ground up, when he bought that salt mine that today is the Enrinchment Center. He had a lot of projects too, and I mean A LOT.
But only one came to GLaDOS atten--*BUZZER* "Test completed." *BUZZER*
"Yes, I know, good work. On to the next test." GLaDOS said through the intercom to Atlas and P-Body. She prepared the next test for the robots, one specially difficult so they could be occupied for a long time.
Anyway, this project GLaDOS found was the last one that Cave created on his deathbed, in 1987. It involved interdimensional travelling.
"Interdimensional portals for going to pony world initiative" GLaDOS read out loud.
Well... Yes, Cave was a little delusional near his death and he was entertained with the My Little Pony show. He liked it... A lot. It seems this project was created by him in his state and somehow it was developed by strict orders of himself by the numerous engineers of Aperture. What's more strange its that this project is still tucked away in some place in the facility and the files never got deleted.
GLaDOS curiosity was picked, hard. She looked through every place of Aperture, searching for the contraption that the blueprints described and naturally, she found it. It was very, very deep in the facility, she almost had no control down there, but she could retrieve it anyway, and so she did, it was a good idea to establish control over the old facilities after the Wheatley incident. The machine ascended through the old instalations of Aperture Science and the new testing chambers, all the way to the one where GLaDOS resided.
It looked very strange in the blueprints that GLaDOS was seeing, but in person it was even more strange... It was shaped like a pony. Anyway, the same minds that created her worked on this thing, so, it should be an excellent machine, right?
It involved the same physics that the portal gun uses but its even more complicated because of the interdimensional travelling and so, it had a very difficult design. In the project folder said that the machine didn't work for some undocumented reason... GLaDOS wanted to find out. She sent the machine to the underground levels again, and prepared a chamber to connect it and test it. This was her personal test.
She connected the contraption just how the blueprints said. She activated it. Nothing happened.
GLaDOS was dumbfunded. How could it be? This machine was a creation of the brightest minds of humanity's history! Ugh... She had to fix it up. She got to work and cleaned every little piece of the intrincate machine, made tons of adjustments and changed very critical parts of the design. It was perfect.
After numerous days of hard work, GLaDOS had the machine ready. She only had to know the dimension the machine was going to point to. But... something nagged her. It was supposed that someone had to enter through the machine, surely this was thought so Cave could go to "pony world". Leaving Aperture was a bad idea. So, she modified it yet again so it had to drag the nearest sentient being it found to this dimension against her/his or whatever will. That was easy.
The moment came. She connected the machine based on her own modifications and the blueprints. She only had to choose the dimension.
"Ponies are annoying. Surely there are some other beings out there. Ones that are not mute. Or psycho. But worthless anyway." GLaDOS said.
She introduced all the equations that let the machine know what dimension it should go to, she didn't know what each dimension contained, but she had a feeling about this one. GLaDOS sent the order to turn on the machine and it growled and gave off a lot of light, so much light that GLaDOS couldn't see what was going on in there. After a moment, the machine stopped emitting light, and she could see inside the chamber.
Lying there, unconscious, was a four legged mammal with purple fur and... A horn? AND WINGS? It had a mane and a tail, purple too, but with a streak of a dark shade of pink. It was...
"Oh no, its a pony. Apparently this machine is hardwired to seek for ponies. How much joy."
She turned the camera to see the machine. It was destroyed.
"I don't have any neurotoxin and it'll take days to fix the factory to produce more. Thank you very much Wheatley, you moron. Now I can't kill this thing. For now." GLaDOS sent an order and every machine in the facility went to the neurotoxin factory to fix it.
"Meanwhile, I can have a little fun with this annoying incident." With another order she sent a claw to grab the pony and put it in an elevator directly to her chamber.
Once the elevator got to GLaDOS she could see the pony in more detail. It looked very strange, not like the ponies on Earth, almost... Cartoon-ish and cute. She suddenly felt the need to crush its little soul to bits. It was waking up!
"Ugh... Where am I? Spike?" The pony said.
"I was hoping that I was wrong with my modifications and you weren't sentient. I'm never wrong, it seems." GLaDOS said specially close to the face of the pony.
The pony turned to where the voice was coming and what she saw startled her to death. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! WHAT ARE YOU?! WHERE AM I?!" Yes, that kind of startled.
"You already asked that question you annoying one. At least you are not mute."
"WHAT?!"
"You are at Aperture Science Laboratories, and I am GLaDOS."
"Don't. Understand." The pony said, getting up and grabbing its head.
"You had to be stupid, didn't you?"
The pony was a little recovered by now. "H-How dare you!" It said.
"By the pitch of your voice and the analysis of you genitals, you are a female. Tell me your name."
"H-How did y-you-"
"Stop sttutering. Name. Now."
The pony eyed GLaDOS. "I-It's Twilight Sparkle."
Suddenly, confetti went flying everywhere!
"Congratulations. By the sole fact of your name you are even more worthless than that muted psychopath. That's a big achievement."
"You seem like a very depressed version of Pinkie Pie. But, who is this muted-"
"The names in your dimension are very stupid. In fact, they are so stupid, that they'll be on the list of the most stupid names I've ever heard. For ever."
A chalkboard dropped to the floor from nowhere. It said "The most stupid names in the universe." Leading the board was Pinkie Pie, then Twilight, followed by Chell and Wheatley. Twilight looked at the chalkboard, dumbfunded.
"Uh... Why am I here?"
"You are as predictable as every living organism that ever lived. You are here because I was bored."
"Bored?"
"Yes, bored."
"Bored."
"It seems like you don't even have a brain."
"Okay, you don't need to be like that!"
"When treating with a low lifeform like you, its necessary."
"Don't be so mean!"
"Make me."
Twilight charged a spell in her horn and her magical aura was visible, which intriged GLaDOS.
"What the-" GLaDOS said.
Twilight released her beam, but the processors of GLaDOS analised it incredibily fast and the A.I knew what to do inmediately. GLaDOS deployed a shield in the blink of an eye and Twilight's beam had been stopped by it. As countermeasure, GLaDOS grabbed Twilight by the foreleg.
"That was strange. Your horn is interesting. I'll have a looooooooooooot of fun testing with it..."
"I want to go home!!" Twilight said, her eyes watering.
"Oh no. You won't go home. For science."
GLaDOS's claw took Twilight to a shaft and was about to drop her.
"You see, I loooooove testing. You suddenly turned out to be an interesting subject because of you abilities. Don't worry. We'll have lots of fun."
"You call this fun?! You can't be this bad!"
"You don't even know the half of how bad can I be. See you." The claw suddenly unclasped Twilight's foreleg and she fell through the shaft.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"
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Meanwhile, in Equestria...
In the throne room stood a very confused group of ponies and dragon. They couldn't understand how their dear friend disappeared from the face of Equestria without leaving any trace. At the moment, Celestia was tracing Twilight with a powerful spell. But her face fell when the it was done.
"I can't find Twilight anywhere. Her magical signature just vanished. Even from this dimension." A very sad Celestia said.
All the inhabitants of the room gasped. This was bad.
"Oh no! This is horrible, truly horrible." Rarity said.
"Don't worry, I will work on something to locate Twilight."
"And then what, sister?"
"I will go to whatever place she is to bring her back."
"That's too dangerous sister. Let me go with you."
"No, you have to take care of the kingdom. Besides, I won't risk your life."
"We'll go! She's our friend!" RD said.
"No, I won't risk you either. It's final, I will go alone." Celestia said, determination on her face.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Twilight stopped her fall with her wings and landed on the floor. It had been a very large fall and she didn't know where she was. But GLaDOS informed her position.
"Oh, I see that you've landed safely, thanks to your... Wings. You are at the oldest installations of Aperture Science."
"What am I doing here?!"
"No need to shout, I can hear you well. You are there until I can observe your rooster of abilities and I can build appropiate testing chambers especially for you."
"I don't want to test! I want to go home!"
"Listen, I would love to send your annoying self to the dimension you come from. But, my interdimensional machine is broken and... I'm not in the mood to fix it. In addition, your horn and wings have awoken my curiosity greatly. It's impossible that your wings can lift so much mass."
"Hey! Are you telling me I'm fat?"
"I tought it was obvious, but it seems that your little brain can't handle subtle insults."
Twilight groaned, she hated GLaDOS more and more every second.
"Okay, what do I have to do to get out of here?"
"Test. If you do it, I'll give you alfalfa. I'll fix the machine too."
Twilight groaned again, this was getting on her nerves.
"If Princess Celestia comes--"
"Great, a monarch is coming. I'll have the good plates ready."
The chalkboard from before dropped to the floor again, this time with Celestia's name on it, on third place. Twilight couldn't believe her eyes. She was mocking the Princess!
"She will destroy you."
"I will pretend like I didn't hear that. I'll leave now."
Twilight was relieved that GLaDOS wasn't going to taunt her for a while, so she looked around the instalations. She was in a enormous room, a large sign said "Aperture Science Innovators" and, like GLaDOS said, this looked very, very old. She had to find a way out. She saw a large platform of what looked like offices, she charged her horn and teleported there in the blink of an eye.
She entered the place and a recording started to speak!
"Cave Johnson here, welcome to the testing chambers for Aperture's Teleportation Gun. After all the trouble we went for our portal gun, why do I have to walk through portals?! With this thing you just stay quiet, point to whatever place you want to go, pull the trigger and BAM! You are there. Much simpler. Way to go engineers."
She couldn't understand who this man was or what was the portal gun, but for what she understood, this was designed for teleportation! Perfect, maybe she could escape! To her right was a large corridor with a sign that said: "Testing grounds." So, she went through there.
Twilight entered the first room, it was simple enough: She was standing in a platform and a few meters away from her was another platform and the exit! So, she charged her horn and teleported to the other platform! Easy. But, she felt unusually tired... It was a simple teleportation spell! How could she be tired? Well, she paid no mind to that, she had to try to escape.
"Good work tester. But the engineers want me to say this: If some of your limbs are misplaced after the teleportation because of the cell replacement, Aperture Science doesn't take any responsability on that. That's all. Continue." The recording said.
She continued through the corridor to the next test chamber, this one was a little more difficult. It had the same principle: Twilight was in one platform and she had to go to another, but this chamber had her platform at one height and the another one was way up high, and a mirror was above it.
"It's supposed that I can't help you when testing, but I don't care what those guys say! If you can't figure this one out, remember that the teleportation gun's laser has reflective capacities." The recording said.
Twilight didn't need this advice, she just charged her horn again and focused on the place that the mirror was reflecting. When she made it to the platform, the sudden tiredness was there again! Anyway, she continued.
She passed through the corridor to the next chamber and went to the platform, again, the other platform was up high but slightly lower, and this time there wasn't any mirrors, instead there was some kind of blue goo on her platform, and then, GLaDOS spoke.
"I lied. I heard what you said. I made the calculations, the posibilities of your little Princess destroying me are of 0,00000000000000000000000000001%. It's true. Mathematics never lie."
Twilight groaned yet again, she hated her guts more than ever. Anyway, she stepped on the goo, an in the instant she stepped on it, she jumped!
"WHOAH! AAAAAAAH!"
But when she was in the air, she could see the floor of the other platform, and she knew what to do, the next time she was up high, she focused on the other platform and teleported there.
"Wow, I'm really tired this time." Twilight said.
"Good. Listen, if you feel very tired, you may be suffe--" The recording was cut there.
"Great, the only useful thing he said is the only one that cuts."
"--This is really dangerous if you don't get proper attention. Don't be stupid. That is all." The recording finished.
"GREAT!" Twilight said, extremely annoyed. "Oh, I'm feeling very sleepy..." Twilight suddenly fell to unconsciousness.
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In GLaDOS's chamber...
GLaDOS was watching Twilight very closely.
"Ahh... Don't sleep yet." She sent a claw to grab Twilight. "The main dish hasn't started yet, you foul pony." GLaDOS sent the claw to the elevator, which sent Twilight to the superior levels, where she designed the chambers to really test her horn and wings. The claw left Twilight there, when she would wake up, she would test, a lot.
Suddenly, behind her robotic body, was a very bright flash of light. GLaDOS turned to see what was going on. It was another pony! This one was bigger and its fur was white.
"Interesting... I didn't fix the machine yet. How did you get here?"
"Who are you? Are you even... A living being? You don't sound like one." The misterious pony said.
"Oh no, please, I could never bear to be a worthless living organism. I am GLaDOS. You are?"
"I am Princess Celestia. I have come here in search of Twilight Sparkle."
GLaDOS then remembered who was this pony. She was glad to be in presence of the monarchy, and her evil processors started to work... She could use this to her advantage.
"Oh... Yes... Her..." GLaDOS said in a very dark tone.
"What did you do to her?" Celestia said, starting to get angry.
"Poisoning by asbesto. Terrible."
"You... You killed her?" Celestia said while hovering in the air.
"Oh yes, she's dead, but I didn't do it. Let's say that they didn't know any better in the '50's."
"You. Will. Suffer the consequences!" Celestia shouted. She charged in her horn her most powerful spell to end with GLaDOS.
"Oh no. I won't." The powerful processors of GLaDOS sent a fast order to deploy the contraptions she designed. One of them fell flawlessly on Celestia's horn and the other fell on her wings. Celestia fell to the floor and her spell was completely canceled.
"What did you do to me?! What is this?!"
"You were fool enough to try to confront me. That's all."
"How did you cancel my spell?"
"You see, your little pony friend showed me how her horn works. It's so simple... I figured that asbesto cancels out all the metaphysical properties of your horns, when its very close to them. That thing you have on your horn is pure asbesto. You can't do your stupid magic, and you just proved that it works perfectly. Oh, and by the way, your little friend isn't dead. I just used it to provoke you."
"You... Fooled me."
"Yes! I fooled you, and it was the easiest thing I've ever done, you worthless pony. Now, I have a new pet to play with. You'll see your friend now. That's what you wanted, didn't you?" A large tube started to hover above Celestia.
"You won't get away with this."
"Too late. I already did. Let's do some testing..."
The tube fell down completely over Celestia and sucked her in, sending her away.
"Thank you Cave. Your machine turned out to be a veeeeery fun one."
