Christopher's life in Equestria: Prelude

by Chris Mcgrassio

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Human, Anthro, Alternate Universe, Romance
Length: 5056

This will be a whole story about a human who had a very strange day that turned into a whole new life. And it will be on-going with a lot of possible sequels. Enjoy :)

(Also, The 5 important characters on the front page will have more characters. It's just that there is a limit and I can't put on anymore. Sorry.) Complete Re-write and Complete fix is happening on this story right now.

It was just supposed to be a normal day right? on Earth with friends and all that? Well, Earth screwed me over and said fuck that noise? Oh? Did I forget to introduce myself?

My name is Christopher, but you can just call me Chris. It's nice to meet you! Anyways, my life was very cliche and boring I guess. Going through pain, loneliness, betrayal, hurt and many other things. Normal life right? Anyways, on one unsignificant day of my life, everything was changed for the weirdest. For you see, Armageddon was gonna happen on Earth soon and well……..See for yourself.

(Will have love, cuddles, jokes, puns, fun, Christopher moments, awkward moments, and ponyphilia or something like that And possible harems with sex.)

I say pedophilia will happen because our main character Chris is 18-years old. And everymare else will be around 100 years old. Because that's the idea. Besides, it's not like he's any younger right?

(She-mares is possible, not many stallions because of reasons and Sad emotional moments And is NOT a self-insert.)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-02-07 21:50:02 UTC

Prologue

I love life. It's one of the greatest things you can have on Earth right? But, life is now as of this moment kicking on the backside of my head and fucking me off. Oh? Was I coming off to blunt and quick? I am very sorry if that offends you. Let me introduce myself if that is acceptable?

My name is Christopher, but you can just call me Chris if that gets to be a mouthful all right? Anyways, it was just another normal day for me in Minnesota. living the life of any normal kid. I guess? Nah. Not really. I mean, what does normal even mean?

I'll tell you what normal means, it means not worrying about life, always smiling, staying positive and never becoming complicated. You like that?..........I bet you aren't. Anyways, yeah normal isn't really a thing. So let me tell you a couple of my hobbies and some things. Because that is what I am supposed to do right? *Reads script* Yes. It is, *Ahem!* So here are a couple of things I like doing.

My name is Chris, I am a 18 year-old human that lives on Earth in a country named Minnesota. But I guess you already knew that right? Anyways, my favorite hobbies and things to do are very complicated and strange.

I like to play Video games, mostly the Nintendo consoles if you know Mario of course. I like to go outside sometimes, when I got the time to go out there. You want to know my personal life? Well you can go fuck yourself. I don't trust you and we've just met, So you can be patient and wait. Anyways, I apologize for that comment. And also I bet you want to get into how this all starts and how I end up in Equestria right?

All righty then. It all started today when I woke up on my bed and went to find my parents.

An alarm went off.

RING! RING! TIME TO WAKE THE FUCK UP! TIME TO WAKE THE FUCK UP! RING! RING!

It was a very annoying alarm, but it woke him up from his slumber. He hit the off button on the alarm as hard as he could.

"Yeah. I get it, It's time to wake up. Jeez." Chris mumbled while getting up from his very small bed.

Chris picked his glasses off of his black table and put them on. They were brown glasses and pretty dirty. He would worry about the dirt later. Chris sighed and got up from his bed.

He Stretched his arms to the roof and sighed annoyingly.

"It's very annoying to be so tall in this so small room." Chris said with a glare on his face.

"But whatcha gonna do? I mean, its the way my life made me and I have to go with it." Chris said with a shrug of his shoulders.

Chris was 6 ft 3 inches tall, which was pretty big for his age. But he took it in pride and shame for reasons unknown right now.

"Wonder where my parents are at?" Chris asked with a raised eyebrow.

Christopher had no clothes on at the moment. He was only wearing underwear. He had white skin and looked at the moment of not being red. He was very white and looked like he didn't go outside at times.

Christopher's chest was fit, you could see the fat but he seemed like he could take care of himself. Chris had very long and lean legs,  You could accidentally mistake him for a woman if he didn't have sideburns or a stubble on his chin. His brown hair was very rough and all over the place, Chris didn't care how his hair looked. Just if it didn't block his eye vision, he didn't mind how it looked.

Christopher's eyes had brown eyes with black irises, the normal kind of eyes I guess. Christopher's back was pretty lean too, didn't have any fat and his whole back looked completely fit.

His hands and arms were a different story. His hands were long and his arms were long too, almost as long as his legs. He favors his left arm more and since he does that arm is more stronger then his right. His feet are not needed to be known since they are just....feet.

That's all that needs to be known, at least to normal people. Unlike them perverts out there though.......no. Just forget what I was emphasizing.

Chris went around his Trailer home and tried to find his parents. He couldn't find them anywhere, Till he went into the kitchen of course. Christopher then knew he was alone, which made him confused for most of the time he never is alone with his mean parents.

He rolls his eyes, "Now where could they be?" Chris asked with his arms crossed on his chest.

"Oh yeah. I forgot, they are not actually here anymore." Chris sighed, and frowned.

Then, Chris looked around and found a note on the brown table in the middle of the kitchen. He picked it up and it read as followed.

Dear Unknown Family,

We have been wanting to visit your world for a long time and we have finally come here. We will be meeting the president and one of you lucky humans will get to go back with us, for we know when the Armageddon comes. And we can only bring with one of your species. May we see you at the White House in Washington D.C.

From,

Princess Celestia and Princess Luna of Equestria.

Chris was now skeptical.

"The hell? They playing a trick on me or something?" Chris asked with rosed eyebrows.

Christopher turned the TV on and was in shock when he sat down. For right there on the news (Ironically enough.) Was the ponies from the little girl show. But they were different! They weren't ponies! They were huge motherfuckers!

"What the helllllllllll is this shit?" Chris said adding the last word on the longer he saw these anthropomorphized ponies.

They were like over 7 ft tall! And the Princesses were like almost over 8 ft tall!

Chris then noticed that the camera pan over all the humans on Earth. He felt lucky not being there.

The President, Obama. Was talking to Celestia and Chris could not believe what he was hearing.

"So you can only bring one of us humans to your universe and all the others have to perish? That. Is kind of dumb," the President said.

"Yes, And it has to be a child. Because then he will get to know how it's like on Equestria aside from living on this...........planet," The blue tall one said with the white one nodding with her.

"That is right Luna. And we want a kid and or a teenager specifically because unlike you adults," the white one emphasized to the taller humans. "They are not poisoned and not big........buckers like the others," The white one said with a sigh of disappointment.

"You are really that sad about these humans Celestia?" Luna said to the now known Celestia.

"Yes. I just cannot believe how much this world has changed," Celestia said sadly.

"Now then if I accept these terms, then you will bring a human with right?" The President said with a rose eyebrow.

"Yes," The two ponies said with a smile.

"All right. I will let you choose so you can pick the right one," the President said while waving to the other humans.

"I don't know. What one should we bring we Twilight?" Celestia asked.

After that, Six different ponies showed up on screen.

"Woah," Chris said, out of breath. He looked at all of them and....he just couldn't believe how cute they all were. He found himself blushing the longer he looked, It was hard not to with them being all naked.....and showing their bits.

In fact, Chris was surprised the President was still keeping his act together while all the others were left speechless.

"What do you mean by that Celestia?" The purple one now known as Twilight said.

"Well I just want to see what human you six would like to come with us. We have to make sure it's the right human and everything you know?" Luna said with a giggle.

"Oh! All right fine," Twilight said.

"But were doing this my way! Girls!" Twilight said to the five mares to her left and right.

"Huddle up!"

The six of them huddled up and whispered to each other.

"All right!" Twilight said with finality.

"We will all have a test for you to do!" Twilight said.

"My name is Twilight Sparkle! I will help you with your intelligence!" Twilight said with a horn on her head while having sparkles in her eyes. She looked very interested with that smile on her face.

"My name is um Fluttershy, and I will um help you with your kindness towards animals if that's ok? the yellow pony named Fluttershy said with wings quietly. Chris was surprised all the other humans heard her.

"My name is Rainbow Dash! I will help you with your awesomeness and coolness!" The Blue one named Rainbow Dash who has wings said while having a cocky smile on her face.

"My name is Rarity! And I will help you with your gentleman skills and your generosity," The white one named Rarity said with a polite bow.

"My name is Pinkie Pie! And I will help you with your fun skills!" the pink random one named Pinkie Pie said with a big smile.

Christopher's eyes bulged and his breath got caught in his throat. The orange one, Oh my gosh the orange one.

She came up with a smile and said in a accent that Chris would fall in love with for anything.

"My name is Applejack, And I will be helping you out with your honesty and trust towards each other," The orange one now name Applejack said with a smile while tipping her hat.

"I think I am in love. I don't know if I am, But I do know that she is very cute." Chris said with a dreamy expression with a lovey-dovey smile while having hearts going around him with a Chorus to boot.

For a second there Aj smiled and winked at the screen, which made Chris blush even more.

"All right! Whoever wants to go to Equestria line up!" Twilight said with a note-pad and pen ready.

After all the kids went into a line, Chris knew he was fucked. For all them kids would be able to go to Equestria and sine Chris wasn't there, he would never be able to see Applejack again!

Chris grew Determined.

"I ain't letting this slip out of my fingers like everything else," Chris turned the TV off, and ran outside of his trailer.

"TO WASHINGTON D.C!" Chris said determinedly pointing towards that state.

Chris knew where he was going, he didn't care if it was love making him go there. He just.......wanted a new life as well. He really hated how Earth was like, and was very interested in how different Equestria was like from his world.

So, he ran. Through forests, streets, Crazy old men that screamed to him to get off the road and police men which made Chris awkward about why he was going that fast.

It was nice that the police decided to drive him there to Washington D.C. One problem though, they weren't bringing him there for free, they were bringing him there to prison.

Fucking great -_-.

"Uhhhh....Why am I being arrested sir?" Chris asked.

"You were doing something that you shouldn't have done. And if you want to go to D.C then ok, But you will have to be in prison for about an hour or two because of your idiocy," One of the policemen said.

Chris sighed and said, "OK," And laid back.

After getting into prison, he was not having much fun being there. That was probably the worst two hours of his life in prison. The men, The women and all the............conversations.

Chris shuddered it off, and felt lucky to have left Scot free. But being in Washington D.C helped a lot as well. And being in his clothes, THANK GOD was very reliving to him.

But after the whole expedition and surprisingly making it to the thing in time no less. Chris kept running and yelled out at the top of his lungs at loud as he can when he made it there.

"WAIT A MOMENT!" Chris said while waving his hands crazily.

Twilight saw him and her eyes widened in shock. Celestia and Luna looked confused, but then they looked at her view and saw Chris. When they saw Chris they hare confused gazes on him.

"Hey there, name's Chris. I made it, just in time. And MAN, I am so out breath right now," Chris said while getting erratic breaths to make himself better.

"I knew there was a kid missing!" Twilight said with a smile.

"Oh really Twilight?" Celestia said with a smile.

"Yeah! I mean with the whole population I counted every single one of the kids here on earth! Except for one!" Twilight emphasized on Chris.

The girls giggled while all the humans looked at Chris inquisitively.

"All righty girls! It's time to see which human male or female deserves to go with us!" Pinkie said with a smile.

They all nod their heads and the contests began.

Chris went through a lot of things, but this was ridiculous. He had to write down every letter of the alphabet, be cocky, say lines, be a gentleman, tell the truth, say funny jokes and many other things.

At the end all the kids were worn out of breath and Chris was sweating profusely.

"They are all very interesting indeed," Celestia said while rubbing her chin in thought.

"Yes they are sister, But which one deserves to go with us?" Luna asked with a rose eyebrow.

"Any of them are fine. It's not like it matters with the Armageddon coming," The president said while laying his head on his table.

"All right," Celestia said.

Celestia and Luna went out of the president's office and looked at all the children.

"What are you gonna do Princess?" Twilight and the others asked curiously.

"I am going to pin it down to the top 6 of your list and I want to see who your favorites are. Whoever your favorites are will do one more test with me and Luna and whoever passes that will go with us to Equestria," Celestia said with a smile.

"Ok!" The six mares said with a smile.

Chris was breathing erraticly. And then he noticed a few familiar faces.

"Bruce? Brando? Bailey?" Chris said with widened eyes.

His two old friends from school and his cousin were here as well! He couldn't believe it!

"Chris?" They all said.

"Woah man! How long has it been!?!?! almost........ 8 years maybe!?!??!" Bruce said shockingly.

"I cannot believe you made it here man!" Brandon said with a chuckle.

"Man. You look different," Bailey said with widened eyes.

"Yeah! How are you three doing?" Chris said with a smile.

Chris had a chat with his old friends and cousin.

Bailey was an old friend of his in 4th grade. They got along at times but bickered to like rivals.

Bruce was an old friend of Chris since 4th grade as well, But unlike Bailey Bruce visited him at times but then stopped doing it.

Brando was cousin and that's the nickname Chris made up for him. His real name is Brandon, they've known each other the longest. Almost 6-7 years. Chris could trust him with his life without a doubt.

He was a little happy about it, but then the two big ponies and the six ponies came out.

"Them two have wings and horns. What are they Alicorns or something?" Chris said with a sarcastic chuckle.

"Hello there citizens of Earth! My name is Celestia and this is Luna my sister! And we are going to narrow you down to our 6 favorites from the ponies behind us!" "Celestia emphasized the six ponies behind her.

"They are going to come up and are going to point out who topped their skill and got their interest the most! Good luck to you all!" Celestia said and then left with Luna.

Every kid waited for their pick. They were all scared, For all they knew if they weren't chosen. Then they were put on death trial essentially.

Twilight came up first.

"The one who passed my intelligence test the most was.......bailey," She said, emphasizing the one by Chris.

Bailey raised his hand in triumph in went up by Twilight.

Now every human could the the height differences between them and ponies. Bailey was like 5 feet and looked like a little child compared to Twilight.

"All right! My turn!" Pinkie said with a grin.

"My favorite is.........,"She found a trumpet out of nowhere and blew on it.

"BRUCE!" She ended with a smile.

"Yes!" Bruce said with a smile.

He went up there and went by Pinkie with a smile. What he wasn't expecting though was the hug Pinkie gave him. With how red he was afterwards everyone got a little jealous, except for Chris.

"All right darlings," Rarity walked up with posture and calmness.

"My favorite is a man named Zach," Rarity said with a smile.

"Why thank you very much!" the one person said.

When Chris saw Zach, he knew how much of a prick he was. He must've pretended to be a gentleman in order to get there.

"Dude. Were still here," Brandon whispered doubtingly.

"There are three more left. Keep hope," Chris said with hope in his voice.

"Um....Ok," Fluttershy came up with more strength and wasn't as shy as before.

"My favorite is......ummm. Ray," Fluttershy said with a smile.

"Wooooo- I mean, yay~" A kid came up who was about 9 years old. He looked so shy and scared of Fluttershy.

"All right! My turn!" Rainbow said with a grin.

"Hmmmm. My favorite of coolness is.....Brandon!" Rainbow said with a grin.

"Yes!" Brandon said with cockiness in his voice.

"I knew I would make it!" Brandon said on the way to Rainbow.

"All right. I guess that leaves me right?" Aj asked.

"Yeah. Sooooo Who is it Aj?" Pinkie said with a teasing smile.

Chris was feeling hopeless. He knew he wasn-

"Why it's Christopher of course," Aj said bluntly with a smile.

Christopher's brain stopped.

"M-me?" Chris said shakily and shockingly.

Aj smiled, "Yes you. Now get up here sugarcube," She said while using her finger to lure him up there.

Chris smiled and came up there.

"All right! These are the top 6 humans who have made the cut! Everyone else, I am sorry but you cannot come with us! Have a lovely Armageddon!" Celestia said with a smile.

Chris didn't know why, But that sounded really trollish on his end.

Chris looked at the other 5 humans.

One who was shy, one who was supposedly generous and gentlemanly, His cousin, and his two old friends. Chris couldn't believe he made it  this far and was Aj's favorite no less. But right now Chris just smiled and knew that there was only one more hurdle to go over in order to live in Equestria.

The Test from Princess Celestia and Luna.

Chapter 1

Christopher was nervous. He made it in the top 6, but now he had one more test to go through which would be more complicated then the other ones. Because unlike their test, Chris now has to go through a test from the Princess. Chris decided to steel his nerves and see his 5 opponents. Some of them might be his friends, but they have never been his friends in the first place.

Chris looked at the two unknown humans first. He decided to do Ray first since he was young. That was the heart-breaking thing, This kid and many other can't be saved. The ponies can only have one human because they don't need anything.....strange going on. But knowing that all these people are going to die made Chris sad.

For after this test, their will only be one living human being left in existence. Which made Chris have a lot more weight on his shoulders. Chris noticed that the 6 mares were looking at him worriedly, But Chris didn't want to worry right now. What he needed to do is see who Ray is, and see how he looks and how different he was.

Ray was young, he looked very scared of everyone around him. Maybe that's why Flutters liked him most? Because he cared for animals a lot and was shy around humans? Chris didn't know, but the kid was a very interesting case indeed. Zach though, was a completely different thing. Chris could tell by the way he walked and talked that his gentlemanly skills and respect was all fake and so bad.

Zach had that cocky grin that only asshole antagonist's have on their faces. Chris hated him and doesn't even know him, and wish to never know him. That's how much he hates Zach. Brandon, Bailey and Bruce though were a really different story. Chris chuckled, his friends all started their names with a B. He loved that irony.

Bailey and Bruce looked the same. Chris couldn't believe how much they looked like brothers. He decided to drop them since he couldn't remember that much about them anyways, and talked about how Brandon looks and things instead. Out of all of them, Brandon is probably the one that has the highest chance of winning.

He knows things, he is probably one of the most smartest and smuggiest guy Chris met. Brandon was wearing everything red colored, like literally.

He was wearing a red and black shirt, a red and black pair of pants, red shoes and a red hat. Was really funny to Chris to know he didn't change that much from his old life.

But then. Chris noticed Applejack was waving him over to the other mares and humans. He must've dozed off and not noticed that he was far away.

"Go in here to see the President and the Princesses for the test all right?" Twilight said to the humans.

They all nodded their heads and went in. Before Chris could though, Aj held him back.

"Hey Sugar?" Aj said to Chris softly.

"Y-yes?" Chris said nervously.

"Stay calm. You have a 6/10 chance of being chosen! That's good ain't it?" Aj said while all the other smiled with.

Chris rose his eyebrows confusingly and shook his head yes slowly. He went through the door and surprise surprise. The five guys that he saw were sitting on their own chairs, and the President and the Princesses were on the opposite side.

Chris sat down and waited for what the test was that Celestia and Luna had for them.

"All right. You are the lucky 6 that got chosen, but only 1 of you can come with us. So my test that I want you to pass is this," Celestia said while putting paper out on a table.

"These 6 papers are things that you have to tell us. You will write down your hobbies, personality, good things, bad things and many more. If you are truthful enough, then you win," Celestia said with a smile.

They all nodded and put their papers on their laps. Ray was shaking, Zach had confidence and had a grin on his face, Bruce looked scared and doubtful, Bailey looked annoyed and pissed, and Brandon looked frustrated and angry.

Chris though, was having one of his rare smiles and wrote everything truthfully down.

Name: Christopher McGraw

Hobbies: Video games, going outside and many other things.

Personality: shy, nice, sarcasm, heart-felt and caring.

Good things: I didn't really have any. Probably when my parents decided to leave me alone and I got to have some alone time.

Bad things: Everything. my life, my age, my friends. Everything.

Spouse: None, Single.

What will you do when your in Equestria?: Find new things, try and help out the universe and just do whatever I can to be around.

P.S: You are both very cute princesses and I am very happy to have met you both. Even if I don't go, I am very happy to have met you.

Chris finished writing everything down and put the paper upside-down in front of the princesses.

"You may wait with the mane six Chris," Celestia said with a soft smile.

"Kay," Chris said, then left while all the others were still writing down.

Chris went through the door and sighed heavily. He felt the weight falling off his shoulders. He could finally die in peace. He noticed while he was sitting down that the other kid's did not go out the same door. But why? Chris thought about it for a moment, till the mane six took him out of his stupor.

Chris was laid back and resting for a while, until Twilight woke him up and told him something very peculiar.

"You know Chris," Twilight said writing notes down.

"Hmmm?" Chris asked with one eye opened.

"You know the only reason we chose them kids is because we can't choose the same one right?" Twilight asked with a smile.

Chris opened both his eyes and looked at Twilight with a confused expression.

"Huh?" Chris said dumbly with a blank look.

"You were first on all of our tests. We just chose them kids because they were in second place," Twilight said with a giggle.

The other Mane six show up and Rarity makes a Cheshire smile to Chris.

"Yeah. I mean, you really thought I wouldn't notice Zach was faking all of his personality darling?" Rarity asked with a rose eyebrow.

"No?" Chris asked with a awkward smile.

Rarity smiled, while Pinkie showed up behind Chris. Which is almost impossible with a wall being right there behind him.

"It's all right Chris! I found you really funny out of all of them!" Pinkie said with a grin.

After Pinkie said that, Fluttershy showed up in front of him with a soft smile.

"You were.....really nice to all the animals around you, you even were nice to me when you didn't have to be," Fluttershy said with a soft smile.

Rainbow Dash, the ego pony she is, flew over to Chris while still flying in the air.

"Your pretty awesome. Not as awesome as me though. But almost," Rainbow said with a grin.

Twilight gave Chris all the six test he did and he noticed that he got all they're questions right

"You are a pretty smart kid, I'm surprised your not in college from everything you answered," Twilight said with a teasing smile.

"Uhhhh? Thank you?" Chris said with a awkward smile.

"Now don't forget about me sugar," Aj said with a smile.

"I didn't. You just didn't say anything yet," Chris said with a chuckle.

Applejack rolled her eyes.

"Well. Just wanted to let you know," Aj held on Christopher's arms.

"You were probably the most honest person I met. With what you wrote towards the Princesses I really hope ah will get to see you more," Aj said while giving Chris a little hug.

Chris blushed from the attention and said "Thanks," while all the other girls giggled at his reaction.

Celestia and Luna came out after a whole two hours. Chris felt confused.

"What happened to the other kids?" Chris asked confusingly.

Celestia sighed, "They cheated. And the president decided to escort them out personally."

"Really?" Chris was shocked that Brandon would cheat.

"Yeah. the only one that even looked truthful was your cousin's. Here," Celestia gave the paper to Chris.

"That is Brandon's note. He wrote something on there for you," Celestia said softly.

"For me?" Chris asked.

Chris looked at the paper and saw one comment that shocked him forever.

I love you man. I hope you have a great life on Equestria. Just please don't forget me. All right? PS: We all cheated cause we knew out of all of us that you would be the one to make it anyways. Have fun, just don't forget about the good life you had here, peace.

From, Brandon and the others.

Chris was having his rare crying moment. Brandon was so chill about many things, but this? Then Christopher had a realization, he was going to go to Equestria?

"Congratulations Chris," Celestia said.

Chris looked up and saw a parchment.

"You have just became a part of Equestria's population," Celestia said with a smile while giving the petition to Chris.

Chris looked at it in awe. He was really going? He couldn't believe it. At one point he felt 12 arms around him from the 6 naked mares. Which made him blush furiously might I add.

"Congratulations Chris!" Twilight said with a smile.

"Oh! I gotta throw you a party! A Welcome to Ponyville/Equestria and being a new resident of Ponyville party!" Pinkie said with a big smile.

They all cheered for your reward.

Chris had only one question though.

"How do we get there and what is gonna happen to the others?" Chris asked bluntly.

"Well by magic of course, And the others are going to die by an Armageddon that they made because of their lifestyles. Anyways, Time to bring you to Equestria Christopher," Celestia said with a roll of her eyes while having a smile on her face. (So blunt about the Armmegeddon ain't she? XD)

The mane six held onto each other's hand and Aj held onto Christopher's hand while the two pegacorns and unicorn used their magic to bring him to Equestria. Chris felt magic coursing through his body somehow and felt himself go POOF!

And the next thing he knew, he was in the middle of a street and couldn't believe where he was at.

"Welcome to Ponyville Chris!" The mane six said altogether.

Chris looked at it in awe and farted, and then fainted on to the ground right OUT OF NOWHERE.

The End, till season 1 of course :).