Pinkie Pie, Escort Extraordinaire!

Most people wouldn’t think a magical world filled with laughter and sunlight would classify as a business opportunity. In Jake Kollar’s eyes, those people were hilariously wrong. It hadn’t even been a year since the portal opened to Equestria, but in those few months Jake and others like him had landed huge contracts with the denizens of the alien world. Earth and Equestria were two very different places; raw materials alone were vastly dissimilar. Human science and pony magic were tentatively compatible, and there were opportunities abound for a bright young businessman to make a tremendous amount of money.

Jake had originally come through to offer the ponies of Appleoosa a deal on building-grade steel, and had managed to button up the contract in a little less than a week. He decided to stay another week to take in the sights and see what collectibles he could pick up. Rich humans were buying artifacts and curios from the world of the horse-people as fast as they hit the market, often at 1000% markup, minimum.

Jake was one of several humans in Appleoosa, but he rarely saw his compatriots. It was better that way - less interference for business deals. He’d spent much of the day wandering around town, conversing with the locals and buying about a dozen knick-knacks from the little burg’s shops.

Today had also been the first day he’d really allowed himself to relax. Contract negotiations with the horse-people here required no small amount of concentration thanks to the numerous distractions this world regularly produced. Keeping everyone involved and concentrating on the wording of a clause versus, say, an impromptu tea party or a sudden invasion of dangerous desert wildlife that required a literal song-and-dance routine to disperse was a challenge.

Today had also been the first day Jake had paid attention to the occupants themselves. At first they were a riot of colors and images - each pony was a different color. That fact alone gave humans headaches when they first came through. Jake had taken the time to make the adjustment, but today he’d actually been able to tell them apart. In doing so, Jake realized something.

Most of them were female. And attractive.

Young, healthy, and athletic described a sizable portion of the populace of Appleoosa, and Jake had no reason to suspect this was a unique locale. The initial reports sent back through the portal by scouts and diplomats were full of praise for the hospitality and openness of the pony-folk, as well as their general attractiveness. Jake had yet to see a member of the three races that wasn’t physically attractive.

As a result of this simultaneous scrutiny and relaxation, Jake was horny as hell. Surrounded by a mostly female populace of physically active women had worked Jake’s desires into a hearty flame. He was far from a virgin - there were plenty of human women he’d slept with - but he’d yet to have any sort of intimate contact with a pony. They were very into physical contact, too. They were constantly hugging, holding hands, or throwing an arm around someone’s shoulder. It was just the thing to do. Humans were nowhere near as touchy-feely as ponies… at least, no human Jake had ever grown up with or worked alongside.

Memories of firm, yet yielding flesh pressed against his own in friendly hugs, or the soft touch of a hand on his, danced in his head as he got out of the shower. His room was a modest space in Appleoosa’s only inn. During the day, the small building was filled with the sound of saws and hammers (no power tools here just yet) as work crews of strong-backed ponies labored to expand the inn. As one of two towns nearest the portal, Appleoosa was going to become a new boomtown, and the community knew it.

Jake sat on his bed in a towel, his erection proud and stiff between his thighs. There was no TV or computer - there just wasn’t the infrastructure for that yet. Masturbation was certainly an option, and Jake considered his imagination to be more than adequate, but that was when he got an idea.

“They couldn’t,” he muttered to himself. “Would somewhere as wholesome and good as this place really have prostitutes?”

Jake eyed the crystal on his nightstand that connected to the front desk. In lieu of electricity and its wonders, the folk of Equestria relied on equal parts unicorn magic and clever, yet simple, machines for convenience. He waved his hand across the facets of the thing and watched a warm green radiance blossom within it.

“Front desk,” answered a female voice with a strong Western accent. Just a hint of a rasp to it. Jake wondered what she’d sound like when she orgasmed, and then shook his head, shocked at the sudden intrusiveness of the thought.

“Uh, hi,” he said after clearing his throat. “This is Jake Kollar in room 207. I was… er… wondering something.”

There was silence on the other side for a few seconds.

“Yesss?” the concierge answered, confusion creeping into her voice.

“Sorry… this is, er, kind of awkward,” Jake stammered. He gave a sharp laugh, amused at his own bashfulness. He’d done this sort of thing before, but on Earth. With humans. “This may sound odd, but do you know what an… escort service is?”

“Of course, sir,” the woman answered.

“Oh, thank god,” Jake said with a sigh. “I was worried the concept didn’t exist and… yeah.”

The woman on the other end of the line gave an indescribably adorable giggle.

“No, sir, I promise you stallions have need of pleasurable company as much as human men,” she laughed. “There’s a service we use that can send somepony up to your room shortly. Stallion, mare, or both?”

The forwardness of the question - and the fact that his own gender didn’t factor into her question in the slightest - made Jake smile. This place was so much different from Earth - so much more tolerant.

“A mare, please,” he said, hardly believing the words coming out of his mouth. “How… should I pay her?”

“Any charges she incurs will be added to your bill, to be resolved at the end of your stay, Mr. Kollar,” the concierge said, professional as always. But a hint of warmth had creeped into her voice; the smile through which she spoke was easily heard. “Will there be anything else? A bottle of cider, perhaps?”

“Yes,” Jake said after a moment’s contemplation. “Could you send it up with her?”

“Of course,” the mare answered. “Enjoy your evening.”

Jake flopped back down onto the bed, staring up at the thick wooden beams of the ceiling.

“I am going to have sex with an alien horse-woman,” Jake said aloud to himself. “This… is not what I was expecting to happen today.”

Pulling himself to his feet, the human finished towelling off and put on a fresh set of clothes - boxer-briefs, a pair of elastic-banded shorts, and a solid color t-shirt. Nothing fancy, but enough to be comfortable. He sat, and waited, trying his best to keep his heartrate down as he contemplated the night that was to come.