The Paper Heart of Hearts
The Paper Heart of Hearts.
The Paper Heart of Hearts.
Button Mash rubbed his tired eyes in the dim light of his desk lamp and then looked at the clock. Only an hour left before he had to leave for school and the ornate, red paper heart that he'd been working on for nearly two days was still not finished. Sure, his mother had gotten him the stack of little Hearts and Hooves day cards with the cheesy sayings on them like Be Mine! and You're Special!, but this one was for somepony he'd been thinking about a lot lately and it had taken him weeks just to work up the courage to start working on it.
He'd spent hours on it already, cutting out the shape with careful accuracy while his tongue stuck out the side of his muzzle. He was too embarrassed to ask his mom for help with the white lace he'd bought with his allowance and had to start over on it several times before he got it just right. The lettering had been the hardest part, he wasn't good at writing cleanly and he wanted the letters to look perfect. Each one was done slowly and he practically had a heart attack when he realized he almost had misspelled one of the words, catching it just in time.
In his groggy morning mind, thoughts of the filly intruded once again and distracted him from working for a few minutes. He wasn't sure exactly how this had happened... and he wasn't sure what exactly to do about it either. All he knew was he couldn't focus on his games anymore without thoughts of the lavender colored girl in his class interrupting his concentration. It had all started at the beginning of the school year when Mrs. Cheerilee had assigned them seats and he had been placed next to her. She had given him a polite smile the first time they took their desks but that had been the extent of their interaction.
It was that smile that had somehow burned into his mind, firing off a wide range of unexplained emotions he'd never felt before. It's not like she'd ever talked to him... in fact, Button Mash was pretty sure she didn't even know his name even though the school year was half over. It didn't make any sense why he was feeling this way about her, but no matter how hard he tried to ignore it... he was powerless against the powerful, rolling waves of something he guessed was called love that came over him whenever he saw her face.
Ever since then, he'd spent long hours stealing sideways glances at her during the boring math lessons when Mrs. Cheerilee's voice became monotonous and dull, just like the sheet of grey clouds outside during the winter months. His mind would often wander far enough that he would be lost in private movies playing in his head about the first time they would hold hands or go to Sugarcube corner for a sundae together, drinking out of two straws and simply gazing at each other in adoration. The first time he imagined her kissing him, he had to press his cheeks on the cool surface of the desk to try and douse the fire that had suddenly burned there.
Once he'd been caught staring openly, so focused on his daydream that day he'd failed to noticed Mrs. Cheerilee had called on him to answer a question. Her light purple face had turned and she was looking at him with borderline disgust when he came back to reality, his face growing red hot while the other students snickered around him and a few whispers floated in the air.
Button Mash was used to that, however. Nopony was as good at video games as he was and that kind of talent came with a price. While he knew everything there was to know about every video game in Equestria... he had become a loner because of it, only paying attention to the strategies and methods of imaginary worlds instead of learning how to interact with the ponies around him.
He only had a few that he talked to in class. Dinky Hooves had always been nice to him but he thought something was wrong with her. She would always say hi to him every day, but then just look at him with her big gold rimmed eyes... like she was unsure of what to say next or expecting him to do something until she walked away looking awkward. Dinky also wasn't very well liked by the class, even though she didn't talk much and was barely noticeable. She always got answers wrong and usually took the longest to finish the tests before recess, holding everypony up.
The Cutie Mark Crusaders were alright too, he thought. But those three were always wrapped up in stuff he didn't care about and every time he was around them, they kept trying to get them to join their club. He wasn't interested in clubs... unless there were games involved and in this case, there wasn't. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo had once trapped him in Sugarcube corner, pestering him about how he was going about getting his cutie mark. He had missed his turn on the pinball machine because of it and he still held a little grudge from the experience.
His hooves rubbed up his brown cheeks on the way to his dark orange mane in frustration, realizing that he'd done it again... drifted off and missed the last fifteen minutes he had to really get the final details right. It would have to be good enough, he thought and carefully slid the large red heart with the words "Be my special somepony" written carefully on the middle into his pack before slinging it over his flank, hoping he'd have enough guts when the time came.
The chilly, late winter walk to school was filled with scenarios playing out in his head about the moment he was going to give it to her. Should he give it to her first thing? Or wait until the end of the day, just in case she didn't like it? What if she didn't like it!? What if she laughed at him?
There was nopony he could ask about this kind of stuff and it's not like he'd ever felt this way about a filly before. Heck... it had never occurred to him that he ever would feel this way about a filly! Every time he thought about her now a giddy sense of warm, squishy goo seem to bloom in his chest and lit his imagination on fire. He'd tried to ignore it as long as he could, but it was simply no use. He was going to ask Diamond Tiara to be his special somepony because today was Hearts and Hooves day... and that was the day to do it, right?
Dinky Hooves trotted up to him as soon as he entered the classroom, her face bore a strange expression of a smile mixed with something that looked like she was going to be sick.
"H-hey Button..." she said quietly.
"Hi Dinky." he muttered back to her, not meeting her eyes and looking around the small horn buried in her yellow mane at the filly sitting in the desk next to his. She was here today and the sight of her sent a rush of adrenaline through his small body.
"Alright class, take your seats please!" Mrs. Cheerilee called out over the excited din of the students eager to start the day. The colts and fillies all moved to take their desks. Button swallowed hard and croaked out a "Hi" to Diamond Tiara as he sat down... the first time he'd ever dared to speak to his object of desire.
She turned her head and gave him a tiny sneer of recognition and disbelief. "Excuse me? Did you say something, blank flank?"
Even though her tone was dripping with distaste, his heart jumped in his throat at her voice being directed at him. A slow, dazed smile curled the corners of his muzzle and she gave a scoff at the reaction, turning her face forward to the front again with a shake of irritation. All this was lost on him, though... she had spoke directly to him on Hearts and Hooves day! This had to mean something!
"Today is Hearts and Hooves day, class. So just before first recess we will give our cards out to everypony! I hope you all brought them?" she asked. The class nodded quickly in eager anticipation.
"OK! Well lets begin today's history lesson then, shall we?"
The morning wore on for Button Mash, each minute feeling like an hour as his mind raced from the possibilities of what might happen when he gave her his special card. By the time the moment arrived, his hooves were shaking and a light sweat had broken out on his brown forehead. When Mrs. Cheerilee finally called a halt to the work, he about jumped out of his chair.
"Alright class! Everypony get your Hearts and Hooves day cards! When you've given yours out, you may go to recess!"
The class erupted in cheers and chaos, the colts and fillies diving for their packs and gathering the little stacks of cards they'd written on for those they wished to give them too before scattering all about the room with excited faces. Button hadn't addressed any of his to anypony... he only had one that he wanted to give anyways. His eyes darted to his left where Diamond sat, only to find she was already trotting out the door, not giving out a single one as usual this year.
His heart raced as he realized he might have missed his chance but then calmed down again when he thought that giving it to her on the playground might be better anyways. He jumped up with his pack, noticing the lack of cards given to him on his desk only briefly before following her out into the hallway.
She was with Silver Spoon, walking quickly together towards the large double doors at the end and talking excitedly about something. Her voice echoed back to his ears sounding like the sweetest thing ever to him. He followed behind, trying to thing of something cool to say to get her attention before pulling the heart out of his pack. Nothing came except a dry, raspy whisper when he eventually did open his mouth and she didn't hear him. Pushing the door out into the bright sunlight outside, he followed unnoticed, desperately trying to keep up the courage to do this.
He finally managed to squeak out a loud enough sound to cause them to stop near the edge of the school yard. Both fillies stopped in mid step and turned, a look of irritation on their faces.
"Oh... what does the blank flank want, Diamond?" Silver Spoon's voice crackled with mockery.
"I don't know... but can you believe he actually said hi to me today? I'm sure it's just an oversight on his part... what do you want, anyways? I have something important to do so make it quick!" Diamond snapped at him.
"I- I-..." he swallowed hard and flipped open the flap of his pack, his shaking hooves pulling out the large, ornate heart he'd worked days on to get it just right for her and held it out. "This is for you, Diamond... will- will you be my specia.." that was as far as he got before she let out a huge, barking laugh.
"Ha! Hahahah!" she pointed at him in ridicule. Silver Spoon had collapsed beside her, holding her stomach and staring at the heart in Button's hooves with the same expression.
"Oh that is sooo pathetic!" Diamond Tiara cried. "Did you really think I'd want a special Hearts and Hooves day card from a blank flank geek like you!"
"W-what?" Button Mash stammered.
"Here... let me make my answer obvious to you, nit wit!" her face twisted in an evil grin as she took the delicate paper heart from his hooves and dropped it on the ground. Her eyes never left his as she hopped onto the middle of it, punching a hole right through the word 'special' he'd worked so hard on into the ground below. She then did a little spin, grinding the card against the rocks underneath and reducing it to an unrecognizable shred.
"You're a loser, Button Mash... I can't believe you ever thought I'd want to be your special somepony! Never speak to me again!" she turned and walked away, Silver Spoon getting to her hooves and giving another stomp on the now destroyed heart for good measure before she followed.
Button Mash stared at the torn heart on the ground in shock. All that work he'd done... all that time he'd put into it and she didn't even look at it. Instead, she'd instantly laughed and made fun of him! A wave of confused hurt and sadness washed over him unlike any he'd felt before. His own heart felt much like the one on the ground somehow even though she'd never actually touched him. Did she really never want to speak to him when all he wanted to do was make her happy?
All he could think about as he stood there for the entire recess period staring at the ground was why? Why would she act that way when somepony was just trying to show her how much they cared? When the tears started, he didn't even bother wipe them away... they didn't matter. He didn't matter. The brown colt cursed himself for even attempting this in the first place. What the hay was he thinking doing something like that! As the bell rung for everypony to return inside, he never even looked up from the ground as he slowly walked back inside with his ears flattened against his head.
He spent the rest of the day staring at his desk, not daring to look to his left anymore for fear of seeing her face laughing at him again. He heard small barely concealed titters from her every once in a while and he knew they were directed at him. His ears would burn in embarrassment with each laugh and it was hopeless to concentrate on any of the day's lessons with his mind full of confusion and now a slow, burning anger at himself for being so stupid.
When the day was over, he sat at his desk unmoving while the class filed out. Diamond shot one more stab of pain into him when she walked by. "Ta ta... geek. It really was a dumb card anyways."
He didn't even look up when she said it, his little brown ears only folded tighter against his head in shame.
___________________________________________________
Later on that night, the glow of the game screen at a deserted Sugarcube corner bathed him in its comforting, sterile light. Mrs Cake was used to him staying here late, working on his high scores, and never bothered to kick him out after closing time. He lived right next door and his parents and the confectionist couple were close friends anyways. It was common for Button to be here alone at this time of the evening and she left him alone in the main room while his hooves worked automatically through the first few levels, not even seeing the action on the screen anymore... his thoughts were elsewhere.
Diamond Tiara's high pitched laughter still rang in his ears and the moment she'd stomped her hoof right at the word 'special' kept replaying over and over in his mind. He'd worked so darn hard on that part! He wasn't good at arts and crafts and for him that thing had been a masterpiece crafted out of nothing but love and his desire to see her smile. The tears came back, blurring the action on the screen and he quickly wiped them away with irritation. Never again! he thought to himself. Nopony wants me anyways...
His character in the game fell into a trap and died, the first time he'd ever lost this early on and he smashed his hooves down in frustration on the game's panel. Stupid girls! Why do they have to be so mean! he thought.
A timid knock came on the glass of the window to his right. He angrily looked over and saw Dinky Hooves there, her strange smile coming back at him through the clear pane and she gave a little wave with a hoof. He tried to smile back at her, but he found his smile muscles didn't work so he settled for an acknowledging nod instead.
When she didn't move away, he shrugged and turned back to start another run on the game, instantly forgetting about the weird filly. Just before he hit the start button... the knock game again. This time his tense shoulders fell in frustration at her insistent distractions and he whirled on her.
"What!" he said angrily, but what he saw stole that anger away instantly.
It wasn't her face in the window this time... it was the large red heart he'd made for Diamond Tiara pressed against the glass instead. It had been taped together as best as it could be, pieces of it were still missing and it was crumpled badly, but it was for sure the one he'd made. For a moment, he didn't understand how the heart could be there because he'd left it right where Diamond had stomped it to pieces, trying to forget it had ever existed. How come she had the stupid thing? It suddenly clicked home and the shock of understanding washed away the hurt from today. Dinky must have collected it after he left it behind and taped the shreds back together, but why? Why would she do that unless she...
His eyes began to water again, but this time not from pain or confusion but from something else that he couldn't quite put his hoof on. It was a good feeling... but still so new and powerful he couldn't put a label on it. He watched with his blurry vision as the heart pealed away from the window to reveal Dinky's small, smiling face... her own golden eyes looked nervous and worried.
Button Mash slowly moved to the door, not taking his eyes off her and unlocked it before pushing through and out into the crisp night air where Dinky stood waiting, the heart trembling in her hooves.
"Dinky?" Button Mash said with a small, watery voice.
"H-hi Button..." her own voice quivered back at him.
"You... you put my heart back together?"
"Yeah. You can have it back, if you want it. I think it's really cool..."
"Really?"
"Yeah!" she said quickly and then tried to reel her reaction in. "I mean... yeah."
Button took the paper heart from her and stared at it. She'd taken the time to perfectly line up the place where Diamond had put her hoof through it and they both herd a tiny 'plip' sound as a tear dropped from his muzzle right onto the middle of the red surface.
"I- I don't know how to thank you..."
"It's OK.. don't mention it" she said quickly. Her yellow mane rumpled in the cooling breeze from the late winter air and she shivered.
"Hey... you wanna come in and play games with me?" he asked. "I mean, if you don't think that's dumb or something..." He didn't know if she liked playing games or not, but he couldn't think of anything else to say.
Dinky brightened and relaxed a little. "Duh.. who do you think D.H. is that keeps taking over second and third place?"
Button's face went wide with shock, the events of the day suddenly forgotten. "You're the D.H. I always see?!"
She gave a little laugh. "Yeah! I come here during lunch and play because you're always on it after school!" her face fell along with her tail and ears. "But I always die at the part with the dragon so I can't get past your high score..."
"Aww that's easy! I'll show ya... Come on!"
"Alright!" she cheered up and gave a small hop of excitement.
___________________________________________________
When Mrs Cake came silently though the curtain behind the counter to tell Button Mash it was time to go home, she gave a tender smile at what she saw. Button was in his customary spot in front of the console but now a small, yellow maned filly was beside him. From her vantage point behind the kids sitting next to each other, she could see a crumpled but lovingly made paper heart on the floor just under the spot where their two young tails draped over the back of the bench, twisted together affectionately.
It's about time those two found each other... she thought and decided to give them a little while longer. It was Hearts and Hooves day after all...
