You know, sometimes life is like a cucumber. Green, fresh, with a weird shape and boring. At days like that, when you feel like you're living on a giant vegetable, there is only one medicine:
Internet.
What can I say about that day? Well, first of all, it was yesterday.
Yeah, that's a good way to begin the story.
You see, I was doing the things I use to do everyday, but something was odd. Playing the guitar? Boring. Cooking? Boring. Playing the oboe? Boring. Playing with the cat? The little monster scaped. Hitting the cat with the guitar? Funny for a moment, then boring again. Cooking the cat with the guitar? Impractical. Cooking the oboe with the cat? Dull. Oboing the kitchen with the guitar? That word doesn't exist.
You see?! It was hell!
Well, no. It was just... boring. I didn't have any book to read, I didn't have any movie to watch. I tried to phone a friend, but then I realised my friends were all dead (a little incident with a fire, a cat and explosions. Nothing to talk about, really. Boring stuff), so... there was only one thing I could do.
Watch ponies.
I know, I know. It's a little cliché. But, really, what were you expecting?
Sooooo I turned on the computer and started to watch ponies on Youtube. Random chapters. And then, something happened.
Well, no. Nothing happened. I just watched ponies for a while. And then I went to the toilet, I drank a beer and watched some more ponies.
And THEN something happened. Right next to one of the chapters from the eighth season, there was a video recommended.
Scootaland
That was... weird. I mean, look at the word. It's orange. And in the center of the page. "How can you do that?", I asked to myself. Myself, being a dick, didn't answer me, but I wasn't angry: it's what he usually does. "You can paint a word in Youtube? Well, that's new."
And I clicked the link.
Now, talking about the video, it was pretty stupid. Just a lot of images of Scootaloo with classical music. Boccherini, I think. It was fifteen minutes long, so I thought "screw it" and stopped the video...
Or at least I tried.
"Hey!"
A cheerful voice sounded right behind me. I freeze on the site like a statue. A very frightened statue.
"...Hey", I said. "What's... up."
"What are you doing here?" asked the voice.
"Wel..." I blinked. "Euh... I'm watching silly videos on Youtube."
"Oh."
Silence.
"May I ask you something?" I asked. "Please, I think it's pretty important."
"Oh, of course."
"Are you some kind of zombie cat that now is able to talk?"
"I don't think so."
"Because I think I may have been a liiiittle meanie with my cat. Just saying."
"I'm not your cat."
"I know that killing you with the guitar, and then trying to cook you and then trying to use you as a pan is not the best of the ways to pet an animal, but I like to show my love in alternative ways."
"You killed your cat?"
"Believe me, it was the only way."
"The only way for what?"
"I'm the one asking the questions here!" I shouted.
Well, I thought. If the cheerful voice is not my cat zombified and with sudden intelligence, then...
"So you're not Mr. Marshmallow?" I raised an eyebrow, something useless because I was not facing the thing I was talking to, but, hey, that's the way I do things. "Then... who the hell are you?"
"I'm Scootaloo!"
I blinked. Then I blinked again.
And then, I noticed that my house was a little too illuminated. Above my head there was a blue sky, not a white roof with pizza fragments all over it. Under my feet I felt grass, not the stupid floor with pizza fragments all over it.
I wasn't in my house filled with pizza fragments. I was in a forest.
"How the hell did I miss that?" I turned around just to see a little orange pegasus looking me with a confusing look.
"Miss what?" asked Scoot. "That I'm a pony?"
My head was full of things. Questions, images, old tales, metaphysical stuff... The implications of being in a forest, with Scootaloo right in front of me were outstanding. There wasn't words in this world to describe..
"HOLY SHIT I'M IN EQUESTRIA!"
Ok, being fair, that was a good explanation.
"Well, yes." Scootaloo smiled. "You're not the first human to come here, so I guess you're pretty amazed, right?
"Pretty much, yes." I nodded. "You say I'm not the only human?"
"Come with me and you'll see!"
And that was all. No, really. I had read, like, ten thousand fanfictions about bronies in Equestria. I was surprised, of course, but... Man, Scootaloo was asking me to follow her, and it seemed like there were more humans out there. I didn't waste time asking questions, I just was like "Oh, ok".
And then we went to Ponyville. It seemed like I had appeared near Sweet Apple Acres, judgin by the high amount of apple trees around us. You have watched the show, right? Well, then there is no need for me to describe anything. Heh. Storytelling is easy!
Then blahblahblah we arrived. The town was exactly like in the show, but there was something different...
"Euh... Scoot?" I asked.
"Yes?"
"Why is everypony so... small? And orange? And Scootaloo-like?"
The little filly laughed. "Well, it's obvious! We're all Scootaloo. Can't you see it?"
I frowned. "Eh?"
"Everypony is Scootaloo! Just like me, or Scootaloo, or Scootaloo, or even Scootaloo!"
We were in the center of the town, and everything in sight was Scootaloo. "...Odd", I muttered. "I thik that Ponyville was not like that in the show."
Scootaloo raised an eyebrow. Something weird, giving the fact that she lacked eyebrows. "What are you talking about? Every human who came here before you said that this was identical to the show they were watching."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. Maybe you didn't pay attention."
"I guess so. So, everypony here is Scootaloo?"
"Exactly. If you're not Scootaloo, you're not alive."
That annoyed me. "Hey! I'm not Scootaloo, and I'm alive!"
Scoot sighed. "Oh, my, you're clumsy. Of course you're Scootaloo! You're just a human Scootaloo!"
"Ha!" I laughed. "That doesn't make any sense!"
"Then, your name is..."
"Oh, right. I didn't tell you. My name is Scootaloo, nice to meet you."
The orange filly smiled. "Can you repeat it?"
"Are you deaf? I'm saying that I'm Scootal -oh, right. I guess I'm Scootaloo too."
"How can you forget something like that? Everypony is Scootaloo. Even your cat was Scootaloo."
"I guess that explain why the hell that cat was named exactly like me. Or why the cat had wings." I laughed. "Now I feel like an idiot."
"You're not an idiot!" cried the little filly in front of me. "You're just Scootaloo."
"You got me."
I sighed again. Well, it seemed like I was in Ponyville now. With Scootaloo by mi side, a whole land of Scootawonders was waiting for me.
"So, what do you think about Equestria?" asked Scootaloo.
"Everypony is Scootaloo. That works for me," answered Scootaloo.
And that's the story, Scootaloo. If you want, tomorrow I'll tell you more. Yes, yesterday was a weird day for me.
Yes, I was Scootaloo all along. Y-yes, you too. Stop asking me! Of course you're Scootaloo.
Everypony is Scootaloo.
Now go to sleep, you little filly!
THE SCOOTAEND...?
"But Scootaloo..."
"Yes?"
"I think there is a huge story behind it all... and it's... dark."
"What do you mean?"
"I-I'm afraid. There is something bad in Ponyville... This... This is not Pponyville!"
"You know nothing, Scootaloo."
Silence.