Twi-thagorean Theorem

by ChucklesMcJingleberry

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash
Length: 1541

Twilight, having been called on by Pinkamena Pie, finds herself becoming obsessed over something so small as a triangle that makes no sense.

Twilight, having been called on by Pinkamena Pie, finds herself becoming obsessed over something so small as a triangle that makes no sense. Though Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie may find her anxiety over this to be hilarious, they are glad to help her come to the bottom of things.

Published 2015-02-12 03:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-02-12 03:40:02 UTC

190*

190*

Twilight Sparkle had left her home early in the afternoon, intent on fetching some sweet roles for her and Spike. She entered Sugar Cube Corner, slowing down to enjoy the sweet scent that wafted over her. It smelled of cinnamon buns and vanilla. I always love how this place smells. She licked her lips as she continued to take in the beautiful aroma. But she found herself immediately snapped back into reality by the call of her friend.

"Twilight!" Pinkie shouted joyfully. She was looking up at Twilight from across the room, partially standing on top of a table in the corner she was previously sitting in front of. "I'm glad you're here. I need some help."

"Hm? What is it?" She asked, once she had gotten closer.

"I'm trying to draw a triangle." Pinkie said. She then waved her hand over the table to draw Twilight's attention to the protractor, pencil, paper, eraser, and ruler. Two stacks of paper lay beneath the table. One was neat and orderly, with blank pieces of paper. The other was disorganized, and the papers all had things scribbled on them.

"You need help drawing a triangle?" She cannot be serious. But she was.

"But I am serious! Here, look." Pinkie shook her head over the table, and out of her mane fell a dictionary. "Look at this page." Pinkie then began shuffling through the labyrinth that is a dictionary. After a short struggle, Pinkie finally found the page.

"Read this!" Twilight looked over where Pinkie's hoof pointed.

Triangle - Noun - A plane figure with three straight sides and three angles which equal a sum total of 180 degrees.

"...Alright, I see. So what is it about this that you find so difficult to execute?" Pinkie leaned over to shuffle through the stack of disheveled papers, and pulled up a paper with a triangle on it.

"Here, look at this... thing." Twilight glossed it over, and then looked back at Pinkie.

"Alright... so you already drew a triangle... Why do you even want to draw triangles again?"

"I was doodling pumpkins, and thought I might make a jack-o-lantern. But that's not important. What is important is that this cannot be a triangle! ..." Twilight, noting that Pinkie had no intention of continuing to speak, looked back at the triangle.

"Well... it is obviously a plane figure. It has three straight sides, and it has three angles. The angles must equal 180 degrees, so I see no possible way that this deviates from that definition."

"But that last one. It doesn't equal 180 degrees! Here, use the protractor." Pinkie held out the cheap looking plastic protractor, which Twilight began to levitate with her magic.

"Pinkie, I really don't see how this could even be a problem. You probably just measured wrong." She mumbled while she moved the protractor over each angle. The first one was 90 degrees. "I don't blame you, either. It must be really hard to hold something in proper position with those hooves." She measured the second angle as 50 degrees.

"Just wait for it Twilight, you'll see." Twilight measured the third angle. Her eyes glazed over. "... Uh, Twilight? Are you done?"

"-Huh? Oh, I think I spaced out. Let me check again." She measured the three angles again, and a small crack appeared in the plastic protractor. Pinkie did not notice. "Wait, I messed up. One last time." Her voice was a little strained that time. She checked again. 90 degrees. 50 degrees...

And the third one was also 50 degrees. The plastic protractor shattered into pieces.

"What!" She shouted. "What even- What!? That is impossible!" A smile spread across Pinkie's face. Twilight held the paper up to her face, and then turned back to Pinkie Pie. "Are the others like this?"

"Uh, yeah. They keep on having a 90, and two 50's." Twilight cringed, a migraine slowly forming in the depths of her mind.

"Alright... I'm going to take this over to the library. Maybe there was something wrong with that protractor of yours. It did look a little crummy. I might have a better one in home." Pinkie began giggling for some odd reason Twilight could not comprehend.

"Hehehe! Alright Twilight, have fun!" Twilight always liked to hear Pinkie's laugh, but it felt odd this time. Like there was some kind of hidden joke she just wasn't picking up on. Is she... laughing at me? Twilight questioned this only for a moment, and then she immediately rebuked herself. No! Don't be silly! Pinkie wouldn't laugh at me. At least, not in a mean way. I was probably just acting funny... This mysterious triangle is sure making me feel funny...

After looking at the triangle, and seeing nothing abnormal about it all the way home, Twilight convinced herself fully that the protractor Pinkie had been using was inaccurate. Why was I even so upset? Twilight began to humor herself about it. It's just a silly triangle. A silly little thing that Pinkie drew... Then, another thought came into her mind. Maybe... Maybe this is just another Pinkie Pie thing? Like her Pinkie sense. This is a little trivial to be special... I mean, her Pinkie sense has a function, but triangles being weird... I know I shouldn't be expecting a lack of logic to be logical in its lacking of logic, but this just really seems pointless. As Twilight pondered this, she entered her home to find Rainbow Dash sprawled in an obviously uncomfortable position across her staircase, her face trapped deep inside a book.

"Rainbow Dash? What are you doing here?" Rainbowdash went rigid for a moment, and a hoof shot up into the air towards Twilight.

"Wait a sec, will ya?" Rainbow hastily finished whatever she was reading, and then addressed Twilight.

"Hey Twilight, I want to check this out."

"Sure, you can do that. But first, I need to go grab a protractor from upstairs."

"Oh, I was using one of your protractors. Sorry. Here, have it." Rainbow Dash picked up a protractor from the stair case near her. Twilight had not noticed it there.

"You? What in Equestria would drive you to grab any measuring device?"

"Uh... I was drawing... triangles?" That sentence was obviously improvised. Triangles? Pinkie was doing that too... "...Because Pinkie asked me too!" Rainbow Dash added that on.

"Why would she ask you to do that?"

"Well, she said some crazy stuff about her triangles looking weird, and she asked me to try drawing a triangle. And then..." Rainbow Dash trailed off, a nervous look on her face. "Anyway, I'm sorry I took this without your permission." She said apologetically sweat seeming to trickle down her neck.

Twilight felt that there were a couple holes in that statement. Firstly, why would she need a protractor to draw a triangle? Pinkie already had one. It couldn't be the one Pinkie had because Twilight broke that. Furthermore, Twilight was just there. There was no logical way, in Twilight's mind, for Rainbow Dash to come into Twilight's home after she left for Sugar Cube Corner, bring the protractor there, draw triangles with Pinkie, and then come back and start reading. None of this could she do without Twilight seeing her once all day. There was no way they could just not bump into one another.

But as flawed as her words were, Twilight did not want to belittle the apology or seem mistrusting of her friend, whom she knew she could always rely on.

"...It's okay Rainbow Dash. No big deal really, I know you would never steal from me. But hey, hand that over, I need to measure this thing." Rainbow handed the device over to Twilight.

"So, what are you measuring?"

"Triangles, believe it or not. I also spoke to Pinkie today, and I think something was wrong with her compass. These-"

"What's wrong with her compass?" Rainbow interjected.

"Right now? Well... It's broken... I really should have apologized." Twilight began to chastise herself internally. I'll be sure to give her a new, more accurate one later to make up for the one I broke. As Twilight affirmed her plans to make recompense with Pinkamena, she noticed that the protractor that Rainbow Dash handed to her was scratched and junked up a bit. It looked worn down, as if used for things no protractor should be used for. "Uh... I broke her thing... Rainbow Dash, was this protractor like this when you got it from upstairs?"

"Yeah, how come?" Maybe it's just been roughed up from all the times I've reorganized. Twilight took a deep breath, and then began measuring out the angles.

90

...

50...

...

No!

"Eat poop!" Twilight shouted as she flung her protractor across the room. It wedged itself into the wood of the walls. Rainbow Dash was stunned for a moment, but then burst out into laughter. "What is so funny?" Twilight looked markedly at Rainbow.

"Bwahahah! Wow Twilight, all that over a silly little triangle?"

"This is bigger than that, Rainbow Dash! This triangle should not exist! It cannot exist... This doesn't make any sense!" Twilight brought her hoof down on the paper angrily. "I need to go see Pinkie Pie about this."