Don't Take This Fic Seriously

by Dodo Of Chaos

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Random
Length: 2780

Starring two self-inserts, two brothers, and a random marefriend, one of the biggest trollfics has come from Wattpad and on to FiMfiction. And nobody will have fun.

Welcome to [REDACTED]. One of the universes containing the main characters being Siverel, Rose Petal (known as 'Bob' in younger years) and other ponies.

This was written a long time ago (by me, of course) and so I copied-pasted the Wattpad format to the FiMFiction format. And I say, it took me about 2 hours to edit this..

Contains random.

Published 2015-07-15 22:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-07-15 22:50:02 UTC

Chapter 1-- A Quick One

"Please, can you play?"

"I'll give you ten bits!" (Of course, lie.)

Bob The Unicorn and Screwball were almost literally (okay, not really) tearing Siverel apart.

"I told you, I don't wanna play!", Siverel kept responding.

"We will stop asking you!", offered Bob.

Siverel really didn't want to, because it would mess up his love life.

"OK!!", Siverel said finally. "Only on one condition, no kissing."

"Sure!", Screwball said.

And as Siverel walked away from his two friends known as Bob and Screwball, he sensed forbidding dread..

---

"Truth or dare, Siv?", asked Bob.

"Truth.", Siv said boldly.

"Do you like me?"

At this question Siv almost fell over, good thing he had four hooves and wings. He also realized how 6th grade this was... wonder why.

"W-what?", Siv stuttered.

"Do you like me? Geez, I don't like this game either, but there is only one way to find out. If you don't answer, you'll wake up covered in feathers

and dung.", Bob repeated.

Siverel opened his eyes wide in fear.

"Y-y-yes.....", Siv whimpered. Mainly because of the dung threat than the embarrasment.

At this, Bob buckled.

"Tod, Screwy?", said Siv uneasily.

"Dare!"

"I dare you to say truth next turn.", Siv smiled smugly.

"Ok, Tod, Bob?", Screwball asked.

"Dare."

Screwy took a serious face. "You, Siv, closet, 7 minutes."

"WHAT?!?", Siv cried.

They were both blushing furiously.

Only to be shoved in a closet.

Siv sighed. "GG, life... good game."

...

...

Bob spoke up. "This is awkward.."

Screwy facepalmed at how stupid Rose sounded.

The next day...

---

Siverel did the usual Monday to Friday routine. And by 'Monday To Friday' we don't mean 'Faust-Damned'. The only thing that wasn't normal is the

fact that Diamond Tiara isn't bullying him. He would also get emotional and blush every time he was close to Bob. Yeah, real subtle.

Then the world slapped him and said, "Welcome to the new normal!".

Siv then got to the point where he experienced affections for Bob.

On weekends they would either go out or stay at Siv's shack and play games. The former was much less often.

His relationship with Bob was growing quickly..

And quite unstable.

'This is the new normal... Dang, normal is cliche,' Siv thought.

---

Siv and Bob were looking for a lost pin.

"Might as well try to scratch your back.", said a half-hearted Siverel. "What's going on about this pin anyways?"

"If I had an idea, it would be off course.", replied Bob.

"I'm as confused as a.... what is something that is very confused?", muttered Siverel.

Bob caught a tiny glimpse of a pin.

"Is that the pin?", asked Bob.

"Probably not."

"Want a bet?"

"No thank you."

No went and picked up the pin. She growled in frustration.

"Wrong one.", she grumbled. "I'm close to quitting right now."

"Yeah-no dip."

"Let's look in the Plaza.", Siverel said.

In the Plaza, they found a pedestal without a statue. The Ponyville decoration team is kinda run by idiots (no offense). There sat a pin.

"This one better be ri- I quit!'

Siv sighed and soon enough found the pin in a Bush near a bench.

"How awkwardly convenient. Wait, why are we looking for a pin again?"

---

It's been 10 months, and Siverel bonded with Bob a lot. Also, that day was Hearts and Hooves day. Siverel's birthday was 8 months ago. (Bob got

him a journal). Siverel was now 13. Today you could see just about 20 thousand couples hanging out. For example: Buttonmash and Sweetie Belle,

Screwball and Mothball wait WHAT?! [See the "Bride Of Discord series which can be found here]

When Siverel finished doing chores, he waited until 11:45 and went to the rendezvous area.

Bob was in a hurry.

It was 11:55 and she was supposed to meet Siverel at the rendezvous area. She was lagging behind with chores and lunch.

When she finally got there, an impatient and anxious Siverel was sitting on a bench.

When Siverel got to the rendezvous area, Bob was not there.

10 Minutes Later

Bob emerged from the mass of trees.

"There you are!", Siverel exclaimed.

"Sorry I'm late.", Bob breathed.

"It's fine.", Siverel said.

"So why am I here?"

"I got you a present! For the convenient holiday!"

Bob gasped. "What is it? And I won't marry you as of now."

Siverel parted a bush nearby whilst attempting to cover a blush and retreived a box. He brushed the dust off and gave it to Bob.

"It's been a while that I hid this here. I forgot why, maybe I needed an ani-boredom box. Anyway, heard you like reading."

Bob opened it and she beamed.

...

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!!"

It was about full of fiction novels and currently famous books. Even stories from another dimension (wait what) were in there.

"It was no problem, really. It's just some books from my home library."

"Thank you!" Bob tackle-hugged Siverel and they both fell down. Then Bob did something she never did before. She pecked Siverel on the cheek and his face became red.

When Bob got off of of him, Siverel chuckled lightly in a stereotypically charming tone and said, "You're welcome."

Chapter 2-- Get Me To The Money AND The Choppah!

Siverel checked his cupboard.

'Almost out of food...', Siv thought.

He then checked his jar of bits.

"EMPTY?!", Siverel screamed.

Why did he not notice this? He knew that he and Bob went out yesterday... Maybe he just forgot about his lack of bits.

A random chunk of music just played in his head. He was used to this now.

'What to do.. what to do?'

He decided to make a business.

"Almost foolproof!", Siverel exclaimed.

He went to his cabinet and got to work.

Hoo boy, this will be a slightly long arc.

---

Siverel was going through a lot of work.

He recently went to welding school, and welding was tough work. For some reason. Us non-wielders will never understand 'hard work'.

He had to weld approximately 256 peices and sheets of metal and move 829 bricks, used about 21 full buckets of paint, and push 8 shelves in there, he managed to do it all alone, also.

Then there is shoveling up grass and replacing it with a floor. It took 2 spades to do that. (One broke.)

Finally, stuff to sell.

Sighing, he pulled a wagon from behind him.

It was full of non-fictions and old fanfictions that he bought earlier in his life.

This is when he could use some magic.

He set off to Bob's house and asked her to come over.

When they got back to the shop, Siv told her what to do.

Bob got the job done in 25 minutes, with help from Siverel.

It was done.

...

...

Was it?

...

Yeah.

"IT'S FINALLY DONE!", Siverel screamed.

"WOOO!"

It was a party of two that lasted 6 seconds.

He noticed his flank.

"Oh, a side affect."

It was his cutie mark.

The cutie mark was 2 plates of metal being welded by an arc welder.

"A side affect?", Bob suggested.

"Maybe.", Siverel said.

"What now?"

"...we work?"

..

"...Yeah."

---

Siverel sighed.

'Best birthday ever'

He was 'celebrating' his 16th birthday by lying on a hammock near his house.

He is now an expert welder, and passed his flying test. Nopony else was in the Caerul mansion. Over the past 3 years, Siv and Rose became rich.

Siverel's brothers have moved to Ponyville, and Siverel needed more room in the house, so they worked together with the Ponyville construction team and built a mansion that contains 8 rooms. His brothers were named Sunreset and Slash. Sunreset is a former bandit (what's up with that?), and Slash is a royal guard, but Slash also works at the library. Slash and Rose would be in charge of the library if Siverel was on breaks.

Siverel was now popular at Platinum Plate High School, and people have raised rumors about him and Rose.

Siverel has also grown a flair for music, since he spends his free time in his dorm, listening to currents and classics, and very currents and oldies.

Siverel has also become good friends with Button Mash, a game-o-holic that Siv met on Hearts And Hooves day (ah, memories) and plays video games all Saturday.

He started a Youtube channel not long ago, and started to get 2 views every 5 seconds once he posted some guitar covers and Minecraft gameplays.

Now, he is lying on a hammock, listening to songs. Particuarly strangely popular one about an old myth named "Discord."

Youtube Video

---

The 3 brothers were flying as fast as they could.

Siv just got a call from Rose, telling him he needs to go help them work . So, he is now working with everypony else at the library.

Once they were done rounding up books, they started delivering, and once they were done with that, they met outside the library and closed it.

A strange and cliche voice spoke. "Siverel.."

Siverel took notice. "Please tell me I'm not the only one hearing that."

Sunreset also took notice. "You're not."

"Oh."

"I need you Siverel. Only you are competant."

"Who are you? And, I HATE THIS CLICHE!"

Slash decided to join the convo. "Should you be asking that?"

"Shadup, I want to know."

The voice sighed. (...) "You will find out in [unknown timeline found]"

Rose pointed out the flaw, because of her reading instincts. "Plot hole!"

"Hey!"

"What? I was just sayin'."

"Nothing. Anyways... Siverel, a, cough, villain is tearing through different dimensions, terrorizing, bla bla bla, killing, bla bla.

Slash looked confused. "I thought you were wise. If you are talking to us now, then why do you act like a 11 year old?"

"I was wise enough to communicate you from another dimension."

Sunreset spoke for his brother. "Aye."

Siverel coughed quite loudly to clear it up and said, "So, I would like to know, who is this villain?"

"He calls himself 'Weaponry' or 'Arsenal' or 'Armory'. Mailnly he has a crap ton of powers."

"Faust-dang! That must be really bad!"

"Good thing there's a full moon."

"WAIT, WHAT?"

"Not THAT kind of moon!"

Rose blushed. Her and her weak mind. "Oh."

"Wait a second, that could only mean--"

ZAP!

Chapter 3-- Welcome To The Deus Ex Machina! Now Is That Our Problem Gone?

"WHAT IN THE GREAT MANE OF CELESTIA?! Oh, and proof of humans!"

They were all sitting on the grass, as humans.

"Nononononono!" Slash exclaimed.

"Why didn't you tell us we would go to the human world?!" Siverel said, outraged.

"Well, I live here."

The 4 looke up and saw a bored looking 14-year-old, looking at them. He had a decent red short sleeve shirt, and was wearing jeans.

"Well I would guess you will lean who I am right now." he said.. "I'm Dylan. You can call me Dodo." (Hahatrolledselfinsert)

---

The four were walking behind Dodo ashe led them down a flight of stairs.

"Hey, is there magic in this demension?" Rose asked.

"Well, yeah." Dodo replied. "There is teleporting, levitating, flying bla bla bla, etcetera."

"Well why aren't you teleporting us instead of leading us down 9 million stairs?" Rose said angrily.

"You know, you are a lot like your creator. Smart-aleky." He said back. "I am a student of chaos, not a master. Oh, did I mention Discord is in this world?"

"DISCORD?!" The four cried.

"He tought me magic." Dodo said, rolling his eyes. "I can only teleport 1 person."

"Then teleport us one by one!" Rose said back.

"Oh right, I am stupid." Dodo said to himself. "Ok, here goes!"

[Time warp]

"Ok, here we are!"

They all looked around the room. It was blank, had nothing in it, and was as dull as a rock.

"Ok, what do we do?" Slash asked.

"Well, you harness your powers!" Dodo said. "Slash has nothing but swordskill, Siv and Sun can change forms, and Rose can use wormholes! Questions?"

Rose rose her hand (lolwut).

"Yes?"

"How do you know this?"

"....I'm the author."

---

"So, how do I do this?"

Rose was asking how to teleport, and Dodo did respond.

"Ok, have you ever red the 6th book in the Harry Potter series? Or whatever the pony equivalent is?" He asked.

"Hoovie Potter? Yeah." She said.

"Do you remember the part when they had to learn how to Apparate?"

"Yeeah?"

"Do you remember the three D's-" Dodo was interrupted by Rose giggling. "UGH, not that kind of D. I mean destination, desperation, Danish cookies or whatever it is."

"Okay."

"Alright, focus on a cornor of a room, then keep that destination in your head, then focus on the say-so relative coordinates. So, that corner there would be about r20 y0 x9 from you I guess."

"Actuall, it's r-"

"Yeah just think about that. Then move your hands toward your destination, relas your mind but let your body become tense. Once that is done, think of nothing but that spot. You must clear your mind to avoid appearing in a book. Got that?"

"Sorry, I was focusing too hard I couldn't hear you."

"Yes, that's good"

As Rose concentrated, she suddenly felt that she was becoming nothing. Her mind was full of nothing but that blank corner of the room, and as her body was gone there, her body appeard in the corner.

"Well it worked."

Rose was standing in the corner, shocked."

"How did that happen?" She asked.

"Well, Parts of your body become light and hop to that destination. The nerves are still controlled by your mind, so you don't die. You just freeze

for a little.Then, all of the light turns back into pieces of your body and BAM you teleported. You will learn how to create wormholes later. You are dismissed."

---

Siverel was in the waiting room, training with Slash. They were sparring, but sparring was nothing compared to what will happen later.

Time warp to skip time

"Siv, you're next," Dodo called.

Siv stopped sparring with Slash and my brothers said 'good luck'. When we got into the room, I found that it was empty.

"Transforming is like making a patronus," Dodo said.

"A partoleum what?" Siverel said.

"Just think of really happy thoughts."

Siv thought of 6 years ago when Rose confessed her affections after he did. The very thought of it made him smile.

"Ok," he started. "now you-- WHAT?!"

Siv opened my eyes and saw that I was emitting a faint, yellow aura. He looked up and saw that the highlighs in his hair were yellow. He also felt lighter.

"I look awesome!" Siv said. "And feel awesome, to!"

"Nobody has ever transformed that fast!" Dodo said. "Ok, try jumping and running!"

Siv started running around the room. I think I ran 10 laps every 3 seconds. What? He stopped and walked to the middle in 0.5 seconds. He tried jumping, and Siv floated into the air and hovered for about 2 seconds, and dropped. What?

"These effects are normal" he said. WHAT?!

---

(I am a bit lazy at the moment, so I am going to have to keep this in my POV)

-Dodo's POV-

"Fresh air," Sun said as I teleported us all to the surface.

"Stop complainin'," Slash said. He was carrying his 9001 pound cube of metal that can transform into a sword that is as big as the buster sword.

"Seriously, how do you not have biceps," I said. "Oh wait. I created you and I can do this."

As I was walking, I bumped into a pony- sorry, human, with brown hair and blue skin with strange black spots.

"Wait, you are Angel's OC!" I said.

---

-Flashback's POV-

No idea how to put this- the random guy knew me.I don't know him, but he knew me.

He shrugged and said, "I'm friends with your creator."

I smirked. "You're friends with God?"

He rolled his eyes. "My name is Dylan, or Dodo, and I created Siv, Slash, and Sunder here."

I stared at him. "How?"

He stopped talking for a while. he looked pretty deep in thought. Finally, he said, "I wish it were simple, but sometimes things must be more complex then a couch from IKEA."

"Or more complex than a cat photo," somebody said. I assumed he was Slash, who would be that that tall and be named 'Mouse'.

Dodo looked as he was going to explode because of happiness. He saw me and said, "Sorry, I'm bipolar sometimes."

"Ha, really? How can you be bipolar sometimes?" I said.

Chapter 4-- Get More Gun. Or Style?

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.