Equestria McNeigh's Pinkamena

by Aslfrasle

Rating: teen
Tags: Gummy, Pinkie Pie, Crossover, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe, Other
Length: 5572

Pinkie Pie, friend to all and party-pony extraordinaire, has been arrested on the charge of murdering dozens of ponies. Now to regain her friends and her sanity, she must journey through her own mind to defeat the evil that has taken root inside her

Pinkie Pie, holder of the element of laughter and one of the kindest ponies in all of equestria has changed. Something snapped in her mind and caused her to secretly kidnap and murder dozens of Ponyville's residents, only to bake them into festive cupcakes. When her gruesome deeds are discovered by Celestia, she is spirited away under cover of night for fear of other ponies finding out and panicking. Believing that Pinkie Pie can return to normal and not wanting to deprive Equestria of one of its greatest methods of defense, she is sent on a journey through her own fractured psyche to do battle with the horrifying monster that has taken root inside of her. Will be be successful and return to her friends, or will she fall to the madness slowly consuming her?

This fanfic is a crossover with American McGee's Alice, though events, items, and characters have been changed to characters from MLP.

Rating is currently "Teen" for gore, though that may change .

Published 2015-02-06 17:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-02-06 17:50:02 UTC

The Party Never Ends

Dear Doctor Psyche,

I am writing you this letter in regards to a new patient I have for you to treat. This will most probably be one of the most difficult patients I have ever sent to you for mental recuperation, though she is certainly in the most desperate need of your unique talents. You should know that you are this poor mare’s last chance at returning to any semblance of a normal life after the atrocities she has committed. Despite her horrid acts however, she truly wishes to repent and reform herself, so she may be returned to society, pure.

What follows is an unsubmitted report by the former captain of the Royal Guard, Iron Wall, for your patient. This report lists the events leading to her arrest as well as detailing her crimes, though I pray you will not let the details dissuade you from attempting to cure her.

///

Name: Pinkamena Diane Pie

Mane: Pink

Coat: Pink

Eyes: Green

Cutie Mark: Three balloons, two blue and one yellow

Family: Clyde Pie (father), Sue Pie (mother), Inkie Pie (sister), Blinkie Pie (sister), Maud Pie (sister).

Friends: Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Mr and Mrs. Cake, as well as, according to Ms. Pie, “every other resident of Ponyville.” This claim has not been verified.

Home: Sugarcube Corner in Ponyville

Job: Party-Planner Extraordinaire and Baker.

Notable Talents: Bearer of the Element of Laughter and expert party-thrower. Ms Pie has also been known to exhibit strange powers that phenomena that are as of yet unexplainable. The residents of Ponyville, when questioned, stated it was merely “Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie.” This requires further study.

Herein follows a report on the arrest and incarceration of Pinkamena Diane Pie, now known as “The Cupcake Killer.” This report is given by Guard Captain Iron Wall:

Ms. Pie first became a suspect in a series of disappearances after the disappearance of one Ms. Rainbow Dash, the Element of Loyalty. They were widely known to be the best of friends, closer to each other than they were to their other friends, the remaining Elements of Harmony. When we questioned her about Ms. Dash’s disappearance she displayed no signs of alarm or fear for her friend’s safety. This struck us as strange so we began to tail Ms. Pie daily to discover the source of her confidence in Ms. Dash’s safety.

During one of our stake-outs Ms. Pie somehow snuck behind our unit and discovered us. When we questioned her once more as to why she was so sure of Ms. Dash’s safety, she relayed that “Dashie will always be with me no matter what, I’d never let her go.” Upon hearing this we took it as childish fun, believing that she meant she would hold Ms. Dash close to her heart no matter what. We were sorely mistaken.

After we had cleared Ms. Pie of any suspicion, ponies continued to disappear from Ponyville with no clear leads to the killer. One day however, we discovered small scuff marks on the ground, as well as what appeared to be dried blood leading to the basement of Sugarcube Corner. What we discovered inside still haunts me to this day...

The report cuts out here, left blank after the resignation and subsequent disappearance of Royal Guard Captain Iron Wall. Please find enclosed copies of entries made in Captain Iron Wall’s personal journal, written after the arrest of Pinkamena Diane Pie. Please make sure to burn these documents after reading them to ensure that this secret correspondence remains secret

Night 16 of the investigation into the life of Ms. Pie.

Inside was a dimly-lit room filled with knives, saws, drills, and all manner of torture tools. Scraps of flesh with cutie marks matching all the missing ponies hung on hooks from the walls, ceiling, and nearly every inch of the room. The only part of the room that wasn’t decorated with cutie marks, was a shelf by the right wall. The shelf had a display case with the words, “My Best Friends” above it. Inside the case were five stands, each one labeled with the names of the other Elements of Harmony, save one.

“Pinkie Pie,” I said.

It was at that point that my men and I heard a noise from the back of the room. Turning around, we saw a large metal table with Ms. Pie sitting a top it, straddling a blue mare with a rainbow-colored mane, no doubt Rainbow Dash herself. It seemed like she was unconscious, though otherwise uninjured save for a small patch of matted blood on the back of her head, though Ms. Pie still had a large knife poised just above Ms. Dash’s chest. Hearing my voice however, she placed the knife beside Ms. Dash and turned to face us. As she got off the table and walked into the light, I could see she was a very different mare from before. Her mane was straightened and hung down against her sides, matted with blood. Her coat was just as matted, though what was worn over it was more sickening and disturbing. She had sewn a dress out of the cutie marks of the ponies she killed, or at least liked enough to keep.

What happened next confused me greatly. She didn’t speak, didn’t cry, didn’t do anything at all. She simply stood there, stone-faced, and held up her front hooves. At first I didn’t know what she was doing and feared for some sort of retaliation for discovering her secret, though I soon realized that she was surrendering, waiting to be handcuffed and taken away. I had the rest of my men guard her while I called for the rest of the royal guards to come and cart her off. When they arrived, she was trussed up in a straight-jacket with a muzzle over her face. Before they took her away, she did speak once. It was nothing like I was expecting, it was weak and scared, as if she was afraid of herself. She said she didn’t want anyone to see her like this, that she was a monster and didn’t want to scare anyone, especially her friends. I couldn’t understand how she would be so afraid of scaring ponies when she had already done that to so many innocents, when I noticed that her hair underneath the muzzle seemed more bright and bouncy. I figured that everyone deserves a last request, no matter what they did, so I waited for night before we brought her outside. She was strapped to a cart and wheeled into a guard carriage, which took her out of town.

I sent a letter to Princess Celestia describing the events and asking her to meet me so we could solve this case in accordance with Ms. Pie’s last wish. We met outside of Canterlot in the basin below the city where, upon my relaying of the changes she had seemed to undergo, Princess Celestia stated that the she believed that normal “Pinkie Pie” was in there somewhere, and that she must have been possessed by some malevolent force akin to her sister Luna when she became Nightmare Moon. It was then that Princess Celestia, fearing for the safety of her precious student Twilight Sparkle and her friends if one the Elements should be discovered as a manic serial killer, the Princess ordered that Ms. Pie should be detained while she would attempt to discover a means of curing her. In the basin, the Princess hollowed out a large cave. She then teleported to the castle and returned with several objects, including six panes of glass roughly three inches thick and ten inches high. Using these she created a small rectangular cell in which she deposited the now sleeping Ms. Pie, rendered unconscious to facilitate travel. The Princess then made four holes in the top part of the cage before using her magic to seal it to the rest of the cage, effectively trapping the slumbering Ms. Pie.

It was then that I was told that she would need someone to live here while she worked to find methods of curing her. She would need someone to look after Ms. Pie and feed her, while she would return to Canterlot. She stated that my men and I were the only ones who could do this, though that it would also require that we resign from our positions as past of the Royal Guard, as we would not be able to leave this cave. She assured me that our lives would be just as they were before, and that every night she would return to give us an update on both the progress of a cure as well as improving the quality of our life here in the cave. I knew that we had no choice but to accept, as she could not relay this information to anyone else without fear of it spreading. We agreed and soon after the Princess installed a temporary lighting fixture, we were given food enough to last for a week and sealed inside our new home.

Princess Celestia returned the next night with her sister, Princess Luna. She had stated that she wouldn’t have been able to keep this from her sister as she was awake all night and would have noticed her leaving the castle. Princess Luna would also provide invaluable insight into this matter as she had also been possessed by a malevolent entity and could give them an idea what they were dealing with. The inclusion of Luna was more of a blessing to my men and I, as knew that now that Princess Celestia no longer had to sneak around, she could bring more to update our new home at a faster rate. By the end of the night, our dwelling resembled a hospital room in which Ms. Pie’s prison was placed in the center. An adjoining room was created with beds for my men and I to sleep in when we were not on active watch. We were then once again sealed inside with a temporary light source as we continued our vigil.

Ms. Pie, or Pinkamena as I had begun to call her, kept to herself all-hours of the day, never speaking, never crying, almost like a statue. Anytime we gave her food, delivered through a small hole at the bottom at the cage, she would eat it silently then return to being a statue.

In the days that followed, our little cave became more and more livable and enjoyable, while just about every treatment under the sun was tested on Pinkamena. Exposing her to her Element necklace, copious amount of love, friendship, and kindness, isolation, even more brutal primitive methods such as shock therapy, nothing worked. We were nearing the end of our rope when neither Princess Celestia nor Princess Luna showed up one night, instead only sending a letter saying that they were currently seeking the aid of an outside source. A medical unicorn who was able to fix a pony’s mind rather than their body. He was a recluse though and Celestia worried whether he would respond to the letter she sent. Though she told us to keep up the watch and wait for any sign of him to show up.

\\

Once you have read through these documents, you will have just as much information about this case as any of us do. I pray that you make haste to our aid as I fear what I might have to do if you we cannot help this poor girl. I hope to hear from you shortly as to whether you agree to assist us.

Good luck, and may be successful in your endeavor, for all our sakes

Your friend,

Princess Celestia, Ruler of the Sun, Protector of Equestria

* * * * * * * * *

Hey there, anypony home? Equestria to Pinkie! sang a sing-song voice inside of Pinkie’s head. It was the only thing she ever heard anymore…and she hated it more than anything.

You know, you’re going to have to talk to me eventually. It’s not like there’s anypony else in here and I seriously doubt they’re going to let you out anytime soon.

“Why?” Pinkie asked.

And she speaks! It’s a miracle! Praise Celestia!

“Why did you do all this?” Pinkie asked again.

What do you mean “I?” We did this Pinkie. We’re the same.

“I’m not anything like you!” Pinkie shouted alerting the guards outside her prison. “I’m not an evil monster! I could never hurt anypony, let alone kill so many poor, innocent ponies! You’re horrible and I’m nothing like you!”

And who was it that was standing over Rainbow Dash with a knife? I remember, it was us!

“No! That was you! I would never hurt Dashie! She’s my bestest best friend in the whole, wide world!” she shouted.

“Ms Pie? Are you okay in there?” she heard a voice ask. It was one of the guards from outside her cell.

“No, I’m not okay! Some evil monster took over my body, and killed lots of ponies, and even tried to kill Dashie and all of my friends! It’s even trying to convince me that it’s all my fault, and it almost is because I couldn’t stop her!” Pinkie shouted as she burst into tears.

“It’s alright, Ms. Pie, I understand. That’s why we’re here, we’re going to help you get rid of the monster so you can go back to living with your friends in Ponyville,” he said.

“But…but…you’ve tried everything and nothing has made her go away! Every day she’s laughing at me, talking about what she was going to do and how fun it would have been! Make her stop, please!” she pleaded.

“You’re right, none of the stuff we’ve tried has worked. That’s why, the Princess is bringing in a friend of hers who’s a specialist in fixing a pony’s mind. When he gets here, he’ll be sure to get rid of the monster for you, I promise,” he said.

Yeah, right. Like some wacko therapist is going to be able to get rid of me that easily. And even if he can, do you seriously believe they’re just going to let you go? Just like that? Kill several dozen ponies, but so long as you can say you’re sorry and blame it on a monster, all is forgiven? That’s not how things work sunshine.

Unsure of herself, Pinkie asked the guard “You’ll really let me go once you get rid of the monster, mister guard?”

“That’s what we plan to do. Once we can be absolutely certain that the monster is gone, then we can release you,” he said. “And it’s Iron Wall.”

They’re lying.

“Captain, Captain Iron Wall!” a voice called from behind him.

“I’m not your captain anymore, we quit remember?” Iron Wall shouted back. “What is it?”

“The doctor has arrived! The Princess’ doctor friend is right above the roof!” the voice said.

“Well, what are you waiting for? Let him in!” said Iron Wall.

Pinkie saw a glow from the hallway in front of her as a small portion of the roof began to shimmer with unicorn magic. Soon, the roof opened up and a ladder was levitated over to the hole. Pinkie could see a stallion in a lab coat making his way down the steps of the ladder and into the cave she’d called home for the past week. He was a tan stallion with a frizzy, white mane that looked very disheveled. On his side his cutie mark was two parts of a brain being stitched back together. When he made it to the bottom of the ladder, he shook himself to shake the dust particles off his coat and fur, and then made his way over to the cell where Pinkie had been talking with Iron Wall.

“So, this is the dangerous, mass-murdering, psychopath I’ve read so much about? Hardly seems like much. I can’t even imagine she could hurt a fly even if she wanted to,” he said.

“I couldn’t, I swear! I never wanted to hurt anypony, I promise! It was the evil monster in my head who did it. She looks like me, but all sad and crazy, and she loves hurting other ponies!” Pinkie cried out.

“I’m sure she does my dear. I’m here to make sure that she goes away so nobody every gets hurt again,” said the doctor. “My name is Psyche, by the way. Doctor Psyche, brain-fixer and monster-killer.”

“Oh thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, Doctor! I’m so happy you can help me. I really miss my friends and everyone in Ponyville, and it makes me sad that I can’t see them,” Pinkie said. “So, how are you going to kill the monster? It’s inside of my head, so how are you going to get it?”

“Oh, I’m not my dear, you are,” said Psyche.

“What? I can't do that. I’ve been trying to get her out of my head for weeks now and nothing works,” said Pinkie, wiping her tears.

“Well, it won’t be you per se. I’d like to try and hypnotize you so that we can both delve deeper into your subconscious. Once there, I want you to challenge this beast and defeat it!” he said with vigor. “That my dear, is the only way you will rid yourself of this vile beast.”

Oh for the love of…that’s the biggest load of crock I’ve ever heard! Can you believe this guy, Pinkie? Thinking he can get rid of me that easi—

“I’ll do it,” said Pinkie.

Say what now?

“If this is the only way to get rid of that monster and return to my friends, then let’s do it, doctor,” said Pinkie.

“That’s some resolve you’ve got there my dear, I like it!” said Psyche.

“So when do we start, doctor?” she asked.

“I propose we start immediately. the sooner we can rid you of that malevolent beast, the sooner you can return to your friends, happy and sane,” said the doctor.

“Alrighty then! What do you need me to do, doctor?” Pinkie asked.

“All I need is for you to sit right there and relax. Now I want you to take deep breaths and listen to the sound of my voice.” he said. He pulled out a small pocket-watch from the breast pocket of his lab coat, and dangled it from the chain using his magic. “Without moving the rest of your body, just try to follow the watch with your eyes, Ms. Pie.”

Using his magic, he pulled the pocket-watch up to the right and then let it fall. Pinkie watched as the watch swung from side to side. There was something about it that was almost mesmerizing.

“Now, Pinkie, I want you to think about your mind. What must it look like inside your head. What kind of world would you live in, given the choice to make your own.

The look on Pinkie’s face changed to one of happiness and delight, thinking of a land filled with candy and party games, where people played all day and partied all night. It seemed like the happiest place in the world.

“Your world is in danger, Ms. Pie. There is a creature, a dangerous, evil monster, seeking to corrupt and destroy your paradise. She’s going to hurt and kill everyone of them and destroy their happiness forever!” said Doctor Psyche.

“No! Doctor, do something! She’s going to ruin everything! Pinkamena’s going to kill all my new friends!” Pinkie shouted, the look on her face changed to one of terror.

“No! You must help them Ms. Pie. You are the only one who can protect them and fight off the monsters. They need you to fight for them or they will be destroyed…forever,” said the doctor.

“How? How do I protect them!?” Pinkie shouted at the doctor, her face pressed up against the glass. “How can I help them when they’re in my head and I’m out here!?”

“I need you to keep watching my watch, and think about going to help them. Think of falling, through a magical portal, into your own mind, into…Wonderland” said Psyche, and with a wave of his free hand towards her, Pinkie could feel herself falling. It was a strange feeling, because she knew she wasn’t actually falling, she was still on the floor of her cell, though she could feel herself falling downwards.

Looking down, Pinkie saw the ground beneath her feet begin to shift and shimmer. The cell, the glass panes, the guards, Doctor Psyche, even the floor seemed to slowly melt away replaced by an inky, black abyss. She tried to scramble for the only remaining pieces of ground, yet she could find no purchase. Within moments, she fell into the void.

* * * * * * * * *

It seemed like it had been ages since Pinkie had fallen into the void. Even though she couldn’t tell where she was or which direction she was going, she knew she was still falling as she could still feel herself falling downwards, whichever way that was.

Soon though, she thought she saw something approaching her in the distance. It looked like some sort of wildly multicolored tunnel. Looking closer, Pinkie saw that she was approaching the tunnel at a dangerous speed. She braced herself for impact with the structure, yet no impact came. Instead she found herself calmly sliding down the inside of the tunnel. Now that she was inside, she could tell that the tunnel was made from a hollowed out piece of candy cane. She took a chance and licked one of the walls while sliding, the taste only confirming her suspicions. But before a ghost of a smile could grace Pinkie’s face, she noticed that the tunnel ahead was covered in black mist and red tar, almost like licorice.

As she approached however, she noticed that the red ooze was not licorice, but blood, and the the black mist was ash. She tried her best to scramble and push away from the approaching ooze, yet there was nothing for her to grab on to. As she collided with the sludge, she almost wanted to scream yet she closed her mouth at the last second for fear of swallowing any of the vile substance. As she was pulled through the sickening mess of blood and ash, she tried to keep herself righted, though every time she found herself right-side-up, or at least what she thought was right-side-up, she would get tossed and turned until she could no longer tell where she was going. After what seemed like minutes, pulled through the sludge, as Pinkie’s breath was nearing its limit, she felt the—now familiar—feeling of falling once more.

While falling, Pinkie tried to extricate herself from the ooze, yet she only succeeded in falling faster. It was only shortly after that that she felt the impact of ground beneath her. Though her legs and body ached from her collisions with wherever she had landed, she could feel the ooze piling on top of her, threatening to drown her in it’s waste. She knew she had to find her way out of the sludge.

Using the last of her strength, she managed to push herself upwards through the slime. As she got her first breath of fresh air in what seemed like hours now, she tried to take a step forwards out of the goo. It took a few steps, and her legs were screaming in pain with every step she took, though she somehow made it out of the pile of sickening sludge.

As the feeling of safety from what could have been her own untimely demise washed over her, she collapsed from the strain she had put on her body. As she felt herself fading into unconsciousness, she summoned whatever was left from her reserves of energy and managed to pull just enough to reach up and wipe the slime from her eyes. The moment she did however, she wished that she hadn’t as what she saw sickened her more than the slime every could.

It was the land she had imagined, Wonderland the doctor had called it, yet this one was different. All the candy cane trees were broken and filed into sharp points, traces of blood covering staining the red and white swirls. The Land of Ice Cream had been reduced to a pile of sludge, like the one she had just extricated herself from, and she could hear nothing from the great capital of Party Town, nor any of the other settlements, save screams of pain and fear. The last thing Pinkie felt as she faded into unconsciousness was a small pool of vomit forming around her as she retched from the sight of her fantasy world, corrupted and twisted. Then, everything went black.

* * * * * * * * *

Oh we are here in Wonderland!

And it is everything I planned!

All the ponies they scream,

and it feels like a dream,

Yes right here in Wonderland!

Singing was the first thing Pinkie heard as she woke up from her pain-induced sleep. As she woke, she noticed that just about everything that could hurt did. Her legs and torso still ached from the impact of landing on the stone at her hooves, her side burned from lying in a pile of her own bile for who knows how long, and the sounds around her—the music especially—was grating and shrill, and worst of all, it pissed her off. It was rare that Pinkie felt this angry and she couldn’t remember the last time it had happened. While Pinkie could not see the source of the noise, she knew she could pinpoint its origin if she listened closely enough.

Yes we’re here in Wonderland!

And it is oh so very grand!

Oh the rebels they die,

And the other ponies cry

about life in Wonder—

The was a harsh, screeching noise as Pinkie brought one of her hooves down upon the source of the offending sound. Opening her eyes she saw that the target of her aggression was a small radio that had been knocked off a table. Perhaps it was used to entertain new arrivals when this place was more pleasant. Whatever the case, it had no use now but making Pinkie miserable with it’s awful song and as such, it had to be destroyed.

Now that the surrounding racket had been calmed, she felt like she could finally think clearly. The bloody sludge covering her had coagulated while she was unconscious and large parts of her coat and mane had become matted and flaky. As she reached up and tried to peel away the crusty ooze from her eyes and face, she took a moment to open her eyes so that she could properly survey both herself and wherever it was she had landed.

It seemed like she had landed in what used to be some sort of welcome area, as her surroundings showed several tables and signs with “Welcome to Wonderland! The Happiest Place in Anywhere!” plastered across them. She guessed it had been a while since anyone had been welcomed here as the white paint on the tables was chipped and peeling, and the edges of most of the signs were frayed and ratty. Looking behind her she saw the large puddle of blood and slime she had landed in when she fell, the slide that had brought her here just above it. She tried to see if she could see the way back to Equestria from here, or at least where she came in from, though the slide just swirled upwards into the sky, far beyond the clouds.

Surveying herself, she saw that she wasn’t in much better condition than this welcoming area. Her mane was frayed and out-of-control and her coat, along with being covered in matted blood, was covered in bruises where she had hit the ground earlier. Where she wasn’t black and blue, her coat was a sickly green and yellow color from lying in a pile of her own vomit. She thought about what would happen if Rarity ever saw her like this. She’d probably scream and faint just from the sight. At this thought, Pinkie almost managed a laugh, though it came out weak and sad. “I really miss my friends,” said Pinkie, “why did that big meanie-pants Pinkamena have to do all this!” As she began venting, her voice slowly became louder and louder until she was shouting. “Everything was fine! I was happy and had friends and a perfect life! Then she had to go and ruin everything! It’s not fair! It’s not f—”

“H-hello? Is-Is someone there?” called a voice, shaking Pinkie from her shouting.

“Hey there, Mr Voice. It’s okay to come out, I won’t hurt you. My name’s Pinkie Pie, what’s yours?” she called out to the mysterious voice.

“Pinkie Pie? The Pinkie Pie?” called the voice.

“Well yeah, who else would I be?” she said in response.

“It’s just that everyone here in Wonderland thought you were dead my dear, killed when Pinkamena, the “Cupcake Queen,” took over,” said the voice finally revealing itself from the shadows.

The figure was tall, with green, scaly skin. He was wearing some kind of blazer that was red with black trim on the inside. While the rest of the coat seemed to be unbuttoned and flowing behind him in the breeze, the collar of the blazer was securely fastened around his neck. Atop the figure’s head sat a black top hat, like the ones she had seen in Rarity’s shop. Pinkie watched as a scaly, green claw was raised up toward the creature’s hat and he tipped the hat upwards to look at her. From underneath the hat, she saw what looked like a grin, though pinkie did not see any sort of teeth in the creature’s mouth.

“Gummy!? Is that you!?” she shouted, flabbergasted.

“I, my dear Pinkie Pie, am a fabrication of your shattered little mind. I was once a memory of your precious pet alligator, Gummy, though since Pinkamena arrived and corrupted your mind with her evil ways, everyone here has had to change to survive.” Pinkie was taken aback by the sound of Gummy’s voice. She had never heard him talk before though she’d always imagined that his voice would be similar to her own, just more manly and alligator-y, whatever that meant. This Gummy instead had a voice that was smooth as syrup and sounded deep and sinister, almost like Nightmare Moon. “I’ve become a guide of sorts for those unfortunate enough to not know their way around. Those who had no purpose before, those who weren’t strong enough to join Pinkamena, those who couldn’t lead their own little rebellions, or those who simply didn’t try to survive, it’s my job to make sure they do their jobs, and find somewhere safe to hide, or stay out of everyone else’s way. As such, I’ve been tasked as your guide through Wonderland until such time as you either leave—by your own accord or by someone else’s—or until you perish in some unfortunate accident or otherwise. Until that time however, I will be your faithful friend and companion and will guide you through Wonderland on whatever silly quest you thought worthy enough to pursue,” said Gummy in an authoritative tone.

“It’s not a ‘silly quest’ Gummy!” Pinkie used her hooves to make air quotes when she repeated Gummy’s words. “I’m here to fight off that mean ol’ Pinkamena and take back my brain! I’m gonna show her who’s the real boss around here and then I’m gonna go back to my friends.”

Upon hearing Pinkie’s plan, Gummy burst out into laughter and fell onto his side, his hat falling off his head onto the ground below.“You’re here to what!? Defeat Pinkamena!? Oh my dear, sweet Pinkie, that’s not a silly quest at all! In fact, I’d go so far as to say that it is quite mad indeed!” Gummy said, his voice broken up by raucous laughter. A few seconds later, Gummy managed to regain his composure as he pulled himself up off the ground, straightened his blazer, and placed his hat back on his head, only to reach back up a moment later to tilt his hat slightly askew. “Well, if your intention is truly to defeat Queen Pinkamena and restore order to your own shattered mind, then I will do my best to aid you. As I said before I can offer guidance through the different locales of Wonderland, and you may feel free to ask me any questions you have while you travel.

Author's Note

Well, looks like it's time to get this crazy train running. I've been writing this chapter for a while, in between work, school, and the other stories I'm currently writing and I've actually had this chapter finished for about a month now. The reason it took so long to post was that it took a while to get all the proofreading and editing done, and this used to be two shorter chapters before it was condensed into one. I really hope you enjoyed this story and stay tuned for more madness to come.