The Reference Virus
Twilight Sparkle awoke from the strangest dream. There were so many penguins that were socially awkward. Luckily, it was just a dream. She threw her covers off and trotted down the stairs. To her surprise, Spike was already awake. Normally it took a full hour to get the baby dragon to even consider getting up.
“Good morning Spike,” she said happily.
“Hey Twilight,” Spike replied wearily.
“What’s wrong Spike? Are you sick?”
“I think I might be. I couldn’t get any sleep last night-“ he suddenly took a breath” FUS RO DAH!!!”
Twilight quickly covered her ears at the use of three exclamation marks, “What was that for?” she asked after the sound subsided.
“I don’t know… I didn’t mean t- FUS RO DAH!!!”
Again, Twilight covered her ears, “Something is seriously wrong here; I’m going to write a letter to the Princess.”
Twilight ran upstairs, jotted down the note and sent it to Celestia. Hopefully she would know how to fix this. She quickly went back downstairs and saw that her letter already arrived. She flicked open the scroll and read the note to herself.
To my faithful student Twilight,
Please come to Canterlot immediately. I will explain when you arrive.
“That’s weird,” Twilight said to herself, “She didn’t even sign the paper.”
No matter, she needed to get to Canterlot, fast.
A few moments later Twilight arrived at the Royal castle in Canterlot. She had wanted to try the long distance teleportation spell for a while and this time seemed like the best chance she would get. She ran quickly inside and met with the Princess. They exchanged greetings and then Celestia led her down to a place in the castle she had never seen before. There were so many… books. More books than even in the Canterlot Archives.
Princess Celestia’s horn lit up with magic as a giant stone appeared.
“Oh my god a giant rock,” Twilight said in amazement.
“What did you just say,” Celestia asked quickly.
“…oh my god a giant rock.”
“This is worse than I thought,” she said. Finally, she elaborated.
Thousands of years ago, there was a magical thing called the internet. It held many wonders but, it also contained many horrors. All of the ponies loved the internet; they played games, posted pictures of puppies with rainbow backgrounds and did other fun things. However some ponies wanted to use the power of the internet to destroy Equestria and everypony in it. It was decided by Celestia that the internet be banished to another world. But now, dark forces wish to bring the internet back to Equestria and destroy all pony kind.
Out of nowhere, Princess Luna popped up sporting an uncharacteristic British accent, “I say Celestia, can I be in this fanfic-“ suddenly a Thwomp fell on Luna. She survived.
“Twilight Sparkle, I need you to go back to Ponyville and get the others. The Elements of Harmony are our only hope.”
“Wait,” Twilight began, “If you needed the six of us to be here then why didn’t you tell me that in the first place? It would have saved a whole trip back to Ponyville.”
“Oh, um… Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu…”
Twilight left, not seeing any end in sight. When she got back all of Ponyville was in complete disorder. She watched as Ditzy Doo flying around and saying “derp” over and over again. Doctor Whooves was somehow traveling through time. She had to find her friends.
She found Pinkie Pie walking around Mane Street.
“Sparkle sparkle sparkle,” Pinkie Pie said to a pony passing by.
“Buck yeah, sparkle sparkle sparkle,” he replied.
“Pinkie Pie, I need you to come with me.”
“Hi Twilight, sparkle sparkle sparkle!”
Twilight didn’t have time to bother with why Pinkie repeated her last name and instead grabbed her by the hoof, dragging along the pink party pony.
“Nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan-“
Twilight looked up to see Rainbow Dash in a poptart costume flying above her. To her left she saw Fluttershy.
“Whoa, a double rainbow all the way, so intense, a double rainbow,” Fluttershy rambled on about the double rainbow even though there was only one.
Twilight grabbed Fluttershy and then used her magic to pull Rainbow Dash into her grasp. When she found Applejack and Rarity they were just as crazy. Applejack kept going on about combustible lemons and Rarity kept saying these are not the ponies you’re looking for. This was all just ridiculous.
Twilight got back to the palace with her friends resisting all the way. Celestia cast a spell to temporarily undo the virus. They all gathered around, each with their corresponding element ready. The Elements of Harmony began to glow as each pony was lifted into the air.
Suddenly a bolt of lightning came out of nowhere and the Elements of Harmony stopped working.
They all heard an evil laugh followed by, “All your bases are belong to Discord!”
“Discord,” Twilight sneered.
“Why are you not happy to see me? After all I did bring the internet back. And besides, I was called here by ponies who wish to pay me tribute.”
“Tribute!? You steal ponies souls and make them your slaves.”
“Perhaps the same could be said of all religions…”
“Your words are as empty as your soul! Ponykind ill needs a savior such as you!”
“What is a pony? A miserable-“
“I’ve had enough of this,” Princess Celestia intervened, “I will not have this plague of nonsense forced upon my subject! Discord, I banish you to the moooooooooonnn!”
“Princess Celestia, wait!”
“What is it Twilight?”
“This is actually… kind of fun.”
“Fun? But you’re just spouting random sayings and nonsense.”
“Things don’t have to make sense to be fun,” Pinkie Pie chirped in.
“Like double rainbows,” Fluttershy added.
“Nyan nyan nyan,” Rainbow Dash mentioned.
“I suppose you’re right. Maybe it is more fun to have the internet,” she paused,”It’s settled, from now on the internet shall be in Equestria forever!”
There were massive cheers from everypony and they all lived happily ever after…