COPS: Ponyville, Episode 2

by JerryTheHouseGhost

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Comedy
Length: 1068

Sheriff Milburt and Deputy Hoof investigate more reports of wrongdoings around Ponyville.

The second episode of COPS: Ponyville has finally been released for public viewing.
Sheriff Milburt and Deputy Hoof are up to their usual cop activities.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-02-09 00:29:48 UTC

Episode 2

"Sheriff, can we please get some work done today?" Deputy Hoof was pacing back and forth to pass the time.

"We are getting work done, Deputy! We've been writing our reports today." Sheriff Milburt chuckled at his computer monitor.

"I already finished my report, sir; you've just been sitting here giggling at your computer all day."

Sheriff Milburt looked at his deputy. "You're not getting paid to tell me what I'm currently doing, Deputy!" He shifted his attention back to his computer and tried to hold back more laughter. "You'll get that hayburger one day, little guy."

"What are you even doing, Sheriff!?"

"I'm watching cat videos, Deputy!"

Both of their radios came on. "We got a call of a mare getting harassed in a neeeeiiigghh-borhood not too far from here."

Sheriff Milburt spoke into his radio. "We're on our way."

"Barbara sounded like she had a cold," Deputy Hoof wore a look of concern.

"Yeah; I heard it's been going around the department for the past week. Good thing we wash our hooves, right?"

"Our hooves are constantly touching the ground, sir; I don't think washing them actually does that much."

"Shut up. Let's go." Sheriff Milburt lead the way out of the building and onto the  streets of Ponyville. "Ahhh, finally some fresh air."

"Maybe if you hadn't been watching cat videos..."

"Deputy, let me tell you something. One day, you'll be the sheriff." Sheriff Milburt walked down the street, and Deputy Hoof followed him.

"Is that it, sir?" The deputy asked.

"Is what it?"

"You only wanted to tell me that I'll be the sheriff one day, and not explain how that has anything to do with watching cat videos?"

"Son, when you're the sheriff, cat videos are all you got." He stopped. "Did Barb say neighborhood or marketplace?"

"I'm pretty sure she said neighborhood, sir."

"How do you know? I could hardly hear her over her cold." He held his radio. "I'm just gonna ask her to make sure."

"Colds don't make sounds, Sheriff..."

"You're not getting paid to listen to ailments, Deputy! Now shut up so I can talk to Barb!" He pressed in the button on the radio transmitter. "Hey Barb, I just wanna make sure if you said neighborhood or marketplace."

"I said marketplace," responded Barbara.

"Thank you, Barbara." The sheriff looked at Deputy Hoof. "What'd I tell you, Deputy? You never know what somepony is sayin when they have a cold."

"But she literally said neighborhood..." Deputy Hoof looked over at the marketplace. "Buuuut I guess she really did mean marketplace, sir. Look over there."

Sheriff Milburt turned his head to see that Derpy the mailmare was poking a mare with a box. "I knew that mailmare was trouble." He pulled out his iPod. "Come on, Deputy; let's go serve some justice."

"Sheriff, please."

"Please what? You got a  problem with my interrogation methods?"

"Well, first of all, we both know what happened last time."

Sheriff Milburt groaned. "Oh, come on! She recovered!"

"Second of all! This isn't the type of case we interrogate ponies for."

"So you're saying that-" Sheriff Milburt was cut off by Deputy Hoof.

"No. It wasn't even necessary last time."

"You're not getting paid to ruin my fun, Deputy!" Sheriff Milburt marched towards Derpy and the mare. The mare had an annoyed look about her, and Derpy was constantly pushing a box against the mare's side.

"This is yours," said Derpy.

The mare sighed. "It is not mine, Depry."

"It has your name on it."

Deputy Hoof interjected. "What seems to be the problem here?"

"Finally the police arrive." The mare seemed to calm down a bit. "Derpy has been pestering me for, like, thirty minutes now."

"I need to give her this package." Derpy pointed at the label. "Look, her name is right here."

"That says 'This side up,' Derpy," said Deputy Hoof.

"Oh... Isn't that her name?"

"No. It means that this side needs to be facing up."

"Oh." Derpy flipped the mare onto her back. "Like this?"

Sheriff Milburt took out his iPod. "That's assault right there!"

"Sheriff, no! Don't!" Deputy Hoof tried to take the iPod away from Sheriff Milburt, but it was too late: Friday by Rebecca Black was already playing.

"No! Please, no!" The mare got up and started galloping away.

"We've got a runner!" Sheriff Milburt chased after her.

"Sheriff, stop! Turn off the song! I just solved it!" Deputy Hoof's yelling couldn't be heard over the complaints of all the ponies who crowded the street.

"What is this awful song!? Make it stop!"

"I'd rather listen to hooves on a chalkboard!"

"It's not even Friday!"

"Just sit in the back!"

Sheriff Milburt walked back, dragging the mare behind him. "She resisted arrest, so I had to tie her up."

"That's not even protocol, Sheriff!" Deputy Hoof ran over and untied the mare. "Now, all I have to do is ask you one simple question, miss."

"Will this all end if you ask the question?" The mare brushed dirt off of herself.

"Yes."

"Then please ask the question."

"Is your name Sunny Delight?"

"What? Where did you get that name from?"

Deputy Hoof held the box. "Right here on the label. It says it's for Sunny Delight. Are you or are you not Sunny Delight?"

The mare took a step back. "I, uh..."

"It's not a hard question, miss... What is your name?"

"My name is, uh..."

"Your cutie mark is a sun. That fits with Sunny."

Sheriff Milburt walked over. "Are you delighted at this moment?"

"Not particularly at this moment, no..."

"Let me just pull up the wiki here..." Sheriff Milburt was on his phone. "Let's see here..." His eyes widened. "Deputy, you're gonna wanna look at this.

"What is it, sir?" Deputy Hoof looked at the sheriff's phone.

"That name's not on the wiki, Deputy."

"What does that mean, Sheriff?"

"It means that Sunny Delight... Is an... OC!"

"I don't even know what that means!"

"Neither do I, Hoof!"

"Are we on the wiki, sir?"

"Of course we are." Sheriff Milburt and Deputy Hoof looked at the mare. "You know, I haven't seen you around town before..."

"Fine! You figured it out! I'm Sunny Delight! That package is for me!" She took the box. "You'll never catch me, coppers!" She began galloping away again.

"We've got a runner!" Sheriff Milburt dashed after her.

"Sheriff!"