The Elegance of Morons

by FrontSevens

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Luna, Comedy, King Sombra, Discord, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 29154

As brand-new rulers of Equestria, Celestia and Luna engage in trivial disputes that turn out poorly for at least one of them.

When Celestia was a teenager, her omnipotent parents finally gave her the keys to her own kingdom. However, she was forced to take Luna with her, an annoying brat of a sister who wouldn’t shut up about the stupid moon. And for pony’s sake, Celestia was running a country—she didn’t need Discord and his smelly pets to babysit her.

However, when diplomatic affairs turn romantic, she may (or may not) realize just how far in she is over her head.

Involves canon up to and including season 3 of MLP:FiM.

Published 2015-02-07 23:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-16 20:37:39 UTC

Chapter 1: Royalty

About a thousand years ago, there sat a house in the clouds high above the sky. These clouds in particular were cumulonimbus. Pegasi everywhere revered this particular type of cloud as the ideal cloud. Unlike stratus, they were soft and coagulant, but unlike stratocumulus, they were thick and pliable. Clouds of that nature and at that high an altitude made the perfect building material for such edifices as modest family homes. But this story is neither about clouds nor modest family homes.

In one particular home in the clouds, there lived a little alicorn family. This alicorn family, like many families at that time, consisted of a mother, a father, and children. The mother and father were powerful beings that created the world a very long time prior. However, after residing in this world for eons, they gradually became bored, so bored that even children were unable to entertain them. So, the two god-like ponies sat in their cloud house and waited the time away with hobbies, like crocheting and species-creating and such. But this story is not about the mother and father.

One of the children of these two omnipotent beings was a little blue alicorn. On one particular day, this particular alicorn was enjoying a fine snack of oats. She liked oats, for they perfectly straddled the line between tasting good and qualifying as a healthy snack. It was the simplest of snacks, only requiring a bowl with which to contain them and a muzzle with which to consume them. But this story is not about oats.

In fact, this story is not particularly about the little blue alicorn, although it is in part. No, this story is about the little blue alicorn’s bratty older sister. Her name was…

“Celestia?” called the mother from her rocking chair.

The puff-puff of hooves going down cloud stairs accompanied the voice of a little pink alicorn. “Yes, mother dearest?”

The little blue alicorn, named Luna, groaned as she finished her oats. It was one thing when Tia called Mom “mother”, but the “dearest” bit was going way too far.

Mom seemed not to notice. Her mane, luminescent and blue as the ocean, flowed elegantly behind her as her grass-green hooves knitted. “Have you finished moving the clouds today?”

“Yes We have, mother.” Celestia nodded in triumph. “We have also finished all of our afternoon chores, including but not limited to moving around the southwestern air masses, trimming the cloud hedges, and dispelling any and all tornadoes in the midwestern plains. In addition, We have helped some of the water along the east rivers flow, just in case.”

“In case what?” Luna asked as she set her empty cloud bowl on the cloud kitchen counter. “Water forgot how to be water?”

Celestia scoffed. “You shouldn’t be eating so many oats, sister. It’ll all go to your thighs when you’re older.” In defiance, Luna stuck her tongue out.

“Luna, don’t be so hard on your sister,” their mother said.

Celestia smiled at an indignant Luna, then walked over to the family room. She sat on one of the cloud couches, straightened up tall like a princess, and faced her mother. “We’ve been thinking, mother.” She puffed up her chest and shifted to perfect her posture. “We believe that we have matured quite a lot.”

“You don’t have to use the Royal Voice to speak to your mother, Celestia,” their father said. His red mane glowed and flickered as his earthy brown hooves turned a page of his newspaper.

“Yes, well, I have matured quite a lot and have become so very responsible.”

The mother worked carefully, knitting the threads of space and time into a delicate fabric. “Yes, dear. You certainly have.”

Celestia beamed. “If it is all right with both you and father, I would very much like my own kingdom.”

“All right,” the mother said.

Celestia could barely contain her excitement. She tried to form words, but all that could come out was a high, squeaky “Eeeee” that forced Luna to cover her ears.

The mother ignored this. “Which kingdom shall we give her, dear? Equestria, perhaps?”

“Sure,” the father said. He lifted up his newspaper to conceal a yawn.

“Equestria it is. You can also raise the sun if you like; your father is rather tired of doing it himself.” After she said this, her husband uttered an “Mhm” of agreement as he turned a page of his newspaper.

“I can raise the sun, too? Oh, this is wonderful! Thank you mother, thank you so much!” Celestia assumed a more regal stance and swept her hoof in grand motions. “Our thanks for thee are deeper and more vast than the great Equestrian seas. Our thanks for thee reach higher than the skies and as far as the ends of the earth. Our thanks for thee are like the sweet morning meadowlark, because… it has wings. Our thanks—”

“Yes, yes, that’s enough, sweetheart.” The mother didn’t look up from her knitting. “Now remember, you must raise and lower the sun every day. This is a big responsibility for a pony your age. Do you understand?”

Tempted to discount how big that responsibility would be, Celestia nodded gracefully. “I most certainly do. I will not let you down.” She stepped off of the couch to go and pack her things. As she ascended the cloud stairs, she smirked at Luna.

Luna almost responded with sticking out her tongue again, but at the moment, she couldn’t let her parents catch her misbehaving again. She had waited patiently for a lull in the conversation, and when Celestia was out of the room, she took her chance to speak. It was now or never. “Mom, may I—”

“Remember, Luna, you have to practice the Royal ‘We’.”

“Oh, but Mom—”

“No buts! You’re going to be a princess one day, you know, and using the Royal Voice is the proper way to address subjects.”

The little blue filly sat down and crossed her arms. “Celestia doesn’t have to use the Royal ‘We’.”

“Ah, but she’s older. She’s already practiced much more than you.”

Well, there was no way around it. “Mother…” Luna took a deep breath in before she continued. “May We accompany Our sister in the ruling of her kingdom?”

“You may accompany your sister, yes. But remember that she is in charge, and she has the final say over what happens in her kingdom. Do you understand?”

Luna could only see her sister bossing her around all of the time, but she had nothing better to do at home. She reluctantly agreed. “Yes, mother.” It wouldn’t be all that bad, though. Even though her sister would be in charge of ruling the kingdom, this would still be the first kingdom she ever helped rule. Luna took that as a victory and headed toward the cloud stairs.

“You may also raise the moon,” Mom said.

Luna gasped. “Can I really? I mean, may We truly?”

“You may, as long as Celestia agrees. You’re a big girl now and you need to learn how to be responsible, too,” the co-creator of the universe said.

The moon! She would get to raise the moon, every single day! “Thank you thank you thank you!” Luna said, hugging her mother. She ran upstairs to pack her things, until her mother reminded her to walk, for princesses must exert as little effort and physical energy wherever possible. She threw everything she figured she would need into a pair of suitcases and carried them downstairs.

Celestia was already there, waiting with her own mound of luggage. Luna looked up to the top of the pile in awe. “You’re taking all that?”

Celestia shrugged. “The essentials, mostly. Dresses, shoes, all that.” She rubbed her chin, re-examined the pile, and pointed to a light pink case near the top. “Except that one. That one has, like, books and stuff.”

Luna pursed her lips. It would be fine, as long as Tia carried her own things. She had the magic for it, certainly. Tia was always more than happy to remind everyone of her magical talent. She levitated everything, from clothes to quills to clouds to herself to utensils to food to both food and utensils at the same time to air. Luna could never figure out how her sister could do that last one, but somehow she did.

Celestia picked up all of her bags with her telekinesis and started to file them out the door. “We’re heading out, mother! We bid thee farewell!”

Just before Celestia was out the door, her mother said, “Discord will meet you there.”

Both daughters spun their heads in a unanimous “Huh?!” Celestia dropped all of her bags, and Luna had to jump back to avoid being flattened by one.

Celestia started. “Mother, I don’t need a babysitter. I’m not a filly anymore! I’m one hundred and sixteen.”

“You may be, but your sister needs somepony to look after her.”

Luna said nothing. Discord was the best babysitter ever, but she didn’t want to risk saying anything out of turn—this would only hurt her case, if anything. She remained quiet, but silently rooted for Mom.

“I can look after her, mother! I don’t like Discord,” Celestia said.

Mom raised her eyebrows. “Discord used to be your favourite, you know.”

Celestia pouted. “His little kiddie magic tricks were only entertaining when we were kids. We’re—I’m practically a mare now. I can take care of myself.”

“Discord will supervise you, Celestia, and that’s final,” Mom said.

Celestia hung her head in defeat, but since that was poor posture, she snapped her head back up and gave a graceful nod. “Yes, mother.”

“All right,” said Mom. “You can go summon the guards for a chariot. Stay safe. We love you both.”

“We love you too,” the sisters said in unison. They picked up their own bags, Luna with her hooves and Celestia with her magic, and they walked out the door, down to the cloud kingdom transportation centre to fetch a cloud chariot.

Having finished the piece of space and time fabric, the mother carefully set it down and said, “Dear, I’ve been thinking.”

“Me too,” said the father. “Now that the kids are out of the house, let’s make a new planet.”

“I agree. But don’t tell Discord when you beckon him,” said the mother. She got up to wash the cloud dishes.

The father nodded. “Which species would you like to make dominant this time?”

“Rabbits,” said the mother as she turned on the cloud tap, her nebulous blue mane rippling behind her. “Sentient rabbits. Should be interesting.”

The father nodded, turning a page of his newspaper.

~ ~ ~

Celestia sighed in delight as her castle came into view. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” She skipped happily across the robust stone bridge.

Luna stopped hauling the luggage cart to look. “Beats looking at clouds all day,” she panted.

The kingdom their parents had given them was magnificent. They had a great view of everything from the chariot. It had rolling plains, rivers, borders, named cities, a castle—everything a kingdom should have. Before anything else, though, Celestia had wanted to see the castle. No proper kingdom was complete without a castle, and even then, it had to be beautiful. Luckily, this one was.

Their castle overlooked a grand forest across a ravine. The ravine stretched down for a long ways, the beautiful rock face expanding a long way down. The castle itself stood tall at the top of it all, sloping up from thin plots of luscious green meadow. Its walls were high and proud, complementing the commanding presence of the castle with thick, professional stonework. Celestia could barely contain herself. Luna could barely continue walking.

The doors were positively regal—massive and wooden and intricate—and the mark of a true castle. Celestia couldn’t hold back a squeal as she pushed them open.

The main hall was even regaler. The windows allowed plenty of natural light into the room. Sturdy-looking stone pillars ran all the way up to the vaulted ceiling. A plinth was the focus of the room, and would be perfect for any statue of the princess’s choosing. It was a truly invaluable piece of real estate.

Celestia breathed a contented sigh as she surveyed her castle. “This is absolutely perfect. I think I’ll call this place the Royal Hall.”

Struggling to pull both her and her sister’s luggage, Luna dropped everything upon entering the room and gasped for air. “It’s nice,” she managed to say.

“Oh, we get Royal Guards, too! This is so exciting!” Celestia did a pirouette in the middle of the room.

Luna stopped to catch her breath. So much for princesses exerting as little physical energy as possible—she had been doing all the work. Tia had magic, too, which Luna had pointed out multiple times. Tia made up some dumb excuse that her clothes would get wrinkled if they levitated for too long. However, all that mattered was that they were finally here, unwrinkled clothes and all.

She took a look at one of what her sister claimed were Royal Guards. It was made up of a hundred pieces of solid iron that stacked all the way up to the dark helmet, the eye and mouth holes cloaked in darkness. Luna poked one of its arms with her hoof. The links clinked a little, but nothing else moved. It was hard to tell there was a pony behind all that metal—not an inch of fur was showing.

Then, one of the hooves reached up and lifted the helmet’s visor. A white pony’s face appeared and gave her a smile. A little shy, Luna retreated, but then smiled back. It was good to know that these hunks of metal weren’t creepy statues or ghosts. As the guard lowered his visor and reassumed his rigid stance, Luna turned around and brought her suitcases further into the foyer.

“Remember to wipe your hooves on the Royal Mat,” Celestia said.

“What? Tia!” Luna said. “You didn’t even wipe your hooves!”

Pausing for only one graceful moment, Celestia trotted over to the Royal Mat with her head held high, slid each hoof across the mat one at a time, then trotted back to the centre of the hall. Now that Tia had followed her own stupid rule, Luna wiped her hooves and said, “Making up rules already, huh.”

“In every kingdom, there are rules,” Celestia stated. She lightly flipped her puffy pink hair. “Since I am this land’s new sovereign ruler, it is naturally my duty to make the rules.”

“We are,” Luna corrected. “We are this land’s new sovereign rulers.”

Celestia rolled her eyes. “Sister, please. The Royal ‘We’ is for addressing subjects.”

Ignoring Luna’s groan, she skipped over to the luggage pile, opened one of the many pink suitcases, and pulled out a long scroll. She brought it to the center of the room. “This is the Royal Map of Equestria,” she said, unfurling the map on the plinth. “It is mother’s and father’s, and now under my care. I am the only one who may touch it.”

Luna took a turn at rolling her eyes. She was getting annoyed at all these “Royal” things that Celestia felt like she had the right to name.

Celestia levitated a quill out of her suitcase and dipped it in ink. “Now, I’ll draw a line between your domain and mine.” She looked over the whole map, from top to bottom, rubbing her chin to help her think. Then, carefully, she drew her quill across the scroll.

Luna walked up to the plinth and stood on her tiptoes to see what her sister had drawn. Her eyelids lowered. “That’s a circle.”

“Yes, I know. It’s a round kind of line.” Celestia tapped the quill on the outside of the circle. “All this is my domain, and…” She moved the quill to the inside of the circle. “…that’s yours.”

Luna squinted to see where she was pointing. The circle enclosed the forest surrounding their castle. It was unnamed, probably the only unnamed feature on the map. Luna was dismayed at first, thinking she had drawn the short straw with such a small piece of Equestria, but then realized the best part about it—it was the only unnamed feature. She would get to pioneer the land, explore it, perhaps even name it. “Cool!”

Celestia turned up her nose. “I don’t want it. It’s probably filthy with all those animals and stuff. Gross.” She shivered, pushing the thought of it away with her hoof. “It’s all yours.”

“I’ll take it,” Luna said, running to the windows to survey her new territory. The forest began at the opposite edge of the ravine and ran all around their castle. The tops of the trees seemed to stretch out a mile in every direction. All that forest was hers to explore. This was sure to be the best kingdom ever.

“You may go out into the forest, but only until evening,” Celestia said. “You have to be back in the castle by the time I lower the sun.”

This reminded Luna of what Mom had said. “Oh, and that’s when I get to raise the moon, right?”

Celestia wrinkled her nose. “You’re not raising the moon. I am.”

“But Mom said I could!”

“I heard nothing of the sort.” Celestia tipped up her nose. “Besides, you wouldn’t be able to raise it anyway.”

Luna fumbled. This was true, and both of them knew it. Luna had had trouble lifting anything lighter than a feather with her magic. “Can I at least try?”

“No, you may not,” said Celestia. “Maybe when you’re older, but not today.”

“But—”

“No buts! End of discussion.” Using her unicorn magic, Celestia pulled the luggage cart towards her, picking out and dropping the two midnight-blue suitcases on the ground. “As for sleeping arrangements, mother told me that there are many bedrooms in this castle. I shall lay claim to the largest one, which shall be henceforth known as the Royal Bed Chamber. You may have any other bedroom that you so desire.”

Luna picked up her suitcases and dusted off the dirt. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Yes, sister,” Celestia corrected. “Or princess, or my liege, or your highness, or whatever. No sarcastic titles allowed.”

“Yes, your highness,” Luna mumbled sarcastically.

Celestia smiled. “That’s better. Now shoo, I’ve got princessy things to do.” She turned around, finding the guard that seemed to have the thickest armour. “Subordinate guard!” Celestia beckoned in the Royal Voice. “We bid thee to fetch Us the Royal Crown!”

The guard knelt before her. “As you wish, your highness.” He turned to leave, his armour clinking and clanging as he trotted. His mission was first to joke to his guard friends about the bratty new princess, and then to find a stray piece of metal that could be cut, bent, and painted gold to look like a crown.

Luna turned to leave as well. She hated being told what to do by her sister, but she also didn’t like being around her anyway. She picked up her bags and trotted up the hall, into the main chambers of the castle.

The castle had a somewhat ugly interior, but it didn’t hurt to look at. The royal red carpets looked brand new. The rock walls were bare and a dull grey, but at the very least they were spotless, like they had recently been washed. Tia will love that, Luna thought. She’s always so fussy about keeping stuff clean.

The hall sloped even higher up into a great chamber, which was much too great. The ceiling seemed as far away as the sky. Some corners were so dark that lions or monsters or who knows what could be lurking in the shadows, waiting to pounce.

Instead, she ducked into a smaller hallway and explored from there. This was much better. The torches on the walls gave off plenty of light, leaving nowhere for monsters to hide.

She skipped through the hall, peeking into every other room. Most of the rooms were empty, barely even any furniture. After turning a few corners, she reached the end of a hallway, marked by a window and a door to the side. After knocking and receiving no answer, she nudged the door open and peeked in.

The room was small, with almost a third of the space taken up by a modest bed, a bookshelf with only one filled shelf, and a few sitting pillows. It was quiet, except for the wind blowing through the trees outside and the occasional twittering of birds. She trotted up to the window and craned her neck up to spy the sun just beginning its descent to the west. This was perfect, away from everyone else. No distractions.

Now was the time to practice her magic. She had to get so good that she could prove to her sister that she could lift the moon all by herself. And, as Star Swirl always said, the best way to get good at magic is to practice, practice, practice. This was an excellent place for practicing.

She carried her suitcases in and set them on the ground. With a tap of her hoof, the latch of the first suitcase clicked open. This was one of several special suitcases made by her father, which he gave to them on the condition that they didn’t share them with any other ponies—it would probably be a long time before they invented something of the sort.

She rummaged through her things, tossing all the clothes and dresses out of the way and onto the bed. Amongst the dresses lay her crystal apple. With care, she picked it up in her mouth and laid it gently on a shelf. It was a reminder of her past mistakes, although Star Swirl had insisted she keep it. She didn’t need that now, though. Her target lay at the bottom of the case—the first thing she had packed.

She tossed the remaining two dresses out of the way and picked up her most prized possession. The shiny black cover of Star Swirl’s journal felt smooth and cool in her hooves. His journal described how to cast all the spells he knew how to do, from the basic to the complex, plus some other notes and observations on magic in general.

She opened up the book to the passage on telekinesis, one of the big words Star Swirl used that meant “picking things up with your magic”. She’d have to focus on this one for now if she wanted to be able to raise the moon. She went over the instructions, although she’d practically memorized them by now. Then, she reviewed Star Swirl’s notes for her, scrawled at the corner of the page. Feel the magic flow through you. Imagine a pair of invisible hooves reaching out and picking it up. Keep it steady, like you’re holding a heavy rock and you don’t want it to drop.

Her memory fully refreshed, Luna pulled out a single blue feather from her suitcase. She set it on the stone floor, and after making sure she was fully reinforced with each hoof planted on the ground, she concentrated.

Feeling the magic surge in her horn, she reached out to the feather with her invisible hooves. The feather stirred, glowing a faint light blue. Luna imagined those hooves lifting the feather slowly into the air, and it followed her command. It hovered in the air inside a soft blue aura.

She smiled for a passing moment, but stopped when her horn panged in complaint. She released her invisible hooves, letting the feather fall to the ground. This wasn’t anything new—she had done this before. Today, though, she would challenge herself.

She stretched out her wing. Wincing, she bit one of her longer feathers and yanked it out. If she could lift one feather, she could almost certainly lift two. She laid the feather on top of the other one and got into position.

She summoned all the magic she could find and put it all into her horn. With her invisible hooves, she reached out under the feathers. Big, strong invisible hooves, she thought. Powerful invisible hooves. She felt her knees shake, but she replanted her hooves and stomped them hard into the ground. She wasn’t going anywhere. She was going to lift these two feathers.

Her horn started to throb, and sweat trickled down her forehead, but she pressed on. She had to show her sister just how powerful she could be. The magic ran steadily through her horn, but she felt it wane and despaired. Just when she thought she didn’t have any more magic in her, she felt a second wind, an extra surge of magic pulsate through her horn and into the feathers. Her horn felt like fire as she heaved the feathers with the strongest invisible hooves she could muster.

The feathers drifted an inch to the left.

Letting out a gasp of air, she collapsed on the ground, releasing her magical hold on the feathers. Her horn was sending stinging pains into her brain. She lay there for a minute to cool down and catch her breath.

She hadn’t messed anything up, had she? No, the one feather did come off the ground. She reread Star Swirl’s journal to confirm she was using the correct technique, which she was, as always. Perhaps it was her horn. The dumb thing couldn’t lift more than one feather. Maybe it really was hollow, like her sister used to tease.

She pulled up one of her sitting pillows and plopped down. Her limbs felt dull and her horn throbbed in complaint. She stretched out and relaxed, staring at those two blue feathers.

They had moved, though. The feathers moved, even if it was only a little. And she could lift a single feather for sure. It was only a matter of time before she built up the magical strength required to raise the moon.

All it would take was practice, practice, practice. She stood up, ready to try again.

Author's Note

Preread by NotSoSubtle

Chapter 2: Curiosity

The Royal Throne Room was positively grand. Celestia would know—she’d been sitting there for an hour now.

It was large and spacious, and amplified her Royal Voice. Two large stained-glass windows on the west and east sides flooded the room with colour and light. Stretching all the way from her throne to the grand doors at the other side of the room, there were three thick, red Royal Rugs—one down the centre and two in parallel on either side. Steps led up to her throne, and her throne was slightly elevated, making her the tallest thing in the room, besides the ceiling.

This felt so right to Celestia. Her and her throne; practically a match made in heaven, as well as technically. Also literally. Maybe hypothetically as well. Celestia still had yet to look up those words. That would mean opening her suitcase full of books, much less reading them, which she didn’t feel all that motivated to do.

As right as it felt though, there was something missing, and it had lingered in Celestia’s mind since she had arrived. “What is taking them so long with that crown?” Celestia wondered aloud.

“It’s here, your highness,” said a guard.

Celestia jumped, noticing a guard about twenty feet to her right. “Oh, you startled—I mean, oh, thou hast startled Us, subordinate guard. Pray tell, why did thee sneak up on Us like that?”

“I didn’t mean to, your highness,” the guard said, coming forward. “I saw you, uh, just sitting there and sighing since fifteen minutes ago, and I didn’t want to disturb you.”

Embarrassed, Celestia blushed and looked away. “Uh, well, please forewarn Us next time, subordinate guard.” She breathed out to clear her mind. “Anyway, hast thou brought Us the Royal Crown?”

“Yes, your highness.” He presented a gold-covered piece of metal.

Celestia picked it up with her magic and inspected it. There were tiny dents and bumps in it, and it wasn’t perfectly symmetric. Celestia frowned. “Is this the best you could do?”

“This has been the crown for decades, your highness,” he lied.

Well, if this was the Royal Crown, then she had to wear it, no doubt about it. “Very well, then, subordinate guard. Thou art dismissed,” Celestia said, floating the crown up to her head and settling it there. The guard nodded and trotted away, off to tell his guard friends that she fell for it and laugh and probably play poker with them afterwards.

The crown fit perfectly on Celestia’s head. Not only was it comfortable, as the bottom had been rounded off, but now balance had been restored to Celestia’s universe. The crown had been the missing piece. She smiled and settled into her throne, closing her eyes. She could sit there forever, just as she was. Everything was right with the world.

“Tia?” said Luna.

Everything was almost right. Celestia exhaled and opened her eyes to see Luna with three feathers sticking out of her mouth. “It’s nearing bed time, Luna,” Celestia said. “Did you find a suitable bedroom?”

Luna spit out the feathers. “Yeah, but Tia, I want to show you something.”

“It can wait for tomorrow, sister,” Celestia said, pointing to one of the giant windows at the side of the room. The soft yellow beams from the sun split into brilliant multicolour from the stained glass. “I have to set the sun soon.”

“And I want to show you I’m ready to raise the moon,” Luna said.

Celestia rubbed her face, then got up and started heading down the steps from her throne. “We’ve been over this. You’re not ready to raise the moon yet.”

“But Tia—”

“No, Luna. Here.” Celestia activated her telekinesis, floating her crown from the top of her head gently down onto the carpet. “Levitate this.”

Luna stared at it and swallowed. She didn’t want to try it on the crown just yet, in front of her sister like this. “Uh.”

“If you can’t levitate that, surely you can’t levitate the moon,” Celestia said, raising an eyebrow.

An excuse popped into Luna’s head. “I have to save all my magic for the moon, though.”

“You can’t do it,” Celestia said, sighing as she floated the crown back up onto her head. “That’s why there’s only one Royal Crown. This is my responsibility. Mom and Dad said so.” Celestia brushed past Luna. “Go to bed.”

“Why do you have to be so mean? I just wanna try.” Luna sat down, asserting her refusal to go to bed.

Celestia’s brow creased. She was getting tired of Luna’s attitude. “Go to bed, Loony.”

Luna’s face reddened. “Don’t call me that!”

“Go to bed or I’m taking away your precious spell book!” That’d stop her. Her nose was always buried in that thing.

It worked. Luna stomped a hoof and grumbled, but she turned and stormed away to her bedroom. Frustrated, Celestia did a slow count to ten to calm herself down. Her sister tended to get on her nerves at times.

Composing herself, she continued on to the front balcony of the castle. It was only a short walk and a flight of stairs from the Royal Throne Room.

The balcony was a large semicircle, and high enough to give an incredible, almost full view of everything around her. From here, she could clearly see the northern reaches of her kingdom: the far-reaching woodlands to the west, the staunch mountains to the north, and the boring plains to the east. The sun sat low on the horizon, waiting to be set, casting soft and bright rays across the treetops.

A distinct patch of bricks lay in the middle of the balcony. White and black marble was inlaid into a pattern, a circle that depicted the sun and the moon chasing each other. The pattern was three ponies long in diameter, with a spot in the middle sanded to be shiny and smooth, almost iridescent.

There was no question about it—she had to be standing in the proper place. She walked up to the marble and set her hooves on the smooth stone surface. This must have been the Royal Sun-Raising Patch of Shiny Stones, naturally. She shuffled onto the patch, careful not to scratch the surface.

Celestia spied the sun in the distance, and let a quick breath in and out. She was ready. Assuming the proper sun-raising stance, she straightened up and lit her horn, bridging the gap between her and the sun with her magic. Her magic enveloped the sun, from the top and all the way down the sides to the bottom. The sun was now in her possession, under her command. This was her sun, and it would do whatever she told it to do.

After finding her grip on her magic envelope, she pushed it down with her magic. It didn’t budge an inch.

Celestia furrowed her eyebrows. This was not supposed to be hard. She could levitate anything—clouds, boulders, lakes, giant air masses, all that. This should’ve been easy, but it wasn’t. She was ready for this. Not only did her parents think so, but she knew it in her gut. She was born to do this. She was born to raise the sun.

She pushed again, harder this time. Still nothing. One more time, she thought. Winding up her magic, she heaved down on top of it with what felt like a body slam. There. One inch.

No more playing around. She channeled as much energy as she could into her horn, making it spark and sputter. This sun was going to set by her doing. She heaved downward, and the sun traveled down ever so slowly. She maintained this speed, straining and sweating. Slow and steady was better than nothing.

The sun touched the horizon, then crawled behind it, no longer visible from where Celestia stood. Her legs shaking and her horn searing in pain, Celestia kept pushing until the sun was completely below and the night was on the tail end of dusk. The sun fully lowered, Celestia released her magical grip and sat down.

That was hard. Way harder than she had expected it to be. Rubbing her aching horn, she looked up at her night sky, the stars beginning to awaken and twinkle. She had a sun on her flank, for pony’s sakes. She had practically and literally been born ready for this, and yet she wasn’t.

She lowered her head onto her forehooves, tired and a little glum. Something on her head dug a little into her ears. Her crown, she realized. She reached up and brought it down. She turned it over in her hooves, its luster still visible in the low light of dusk.

She could rule a kingdom, couldn’t she? Her parents thought so. She herself certainly thought so. But already, ruling wasn’t quite as glamorous or fun as she thought it would be. She looked down at the horizon, where she had dragged down the sun. Going through all that every single night would be a challenge. She wasn’t sure if she could keep doing this forever.

She slumped to the ground, laying on her back and staring at the stars. Then she groaned in agony.

She had to raise the moon, too.

~ ~ ~

Luna didn’t mind breakfast. In fact, she quite enjoyed it. It was a highly sophisticated meal of scrambled eggs, toast, and orange juice. The cook had previously been fired, and since he comprised the entirety of the kitchen staff, one of the guards had to fill the position. Luna didn’t know nor care. The food tasted good, so she felt no urge to complain.

However, Celestia was disappointed. For such a fine and regal castle, the least they could’ve done was garnish the eggs or offered more jams than just strawberry or compliment the eggs with a fine wine, mostly because she wanted to see what wine tasted like. As it was, it would have to do for now.

The sisters sat in silence as they ate on opposite ends of the Royal Dining Table. The table was fifty feet long, made of giant slabs of swirly marble. Marble, Celestia noted, seemed to be the precious stone of choice here at this castle, and she didn’t mind much at all. Both sisters chose to sit on opposite ends of this table, as far away from each other as possible.

Luna was frustrated that Celestia wouldn’t let her raise the moon. Celestia was embarrassed that she had such trouble raising the sun that morning, and that she may not be ready to rule a kingdom all by herself. They were too far away to read each other’s emotions, however. All they heard was the silence, and each feared invoking an adverse response from the other, so the silence lingered.

Luna stared at the table, wondering just how many members of royalty used to sit here. She was a little shaky on history, even recent Equestrian history. Star Swirl used to rule here at some point until she no longer saw him anymore. He didn’t have any family, though, so she wondered who he may have invited to dinner—perhaps ponies from other cities, like the mayors, or even ponies from other countries. She’d have to start looking all those up later.

The sharp, reverberating clip-clop of hooves interrupted her thoughts. A guard trotted up to Celestia’s side of the table, bowed, and spoke to her. Although she strained to, Luna could not hear from this distance. Celestia used her magic to wipe her mouth with a napkin and got up from the table. Luna swigged the last of her orange juice as the guard approached her.

This guard acted as the messenger, and although he was only required to relay important announcements to ruling parties, he thought he’d tell Luna as well to be nice, as some of the guards had taken a liking to her. He walked up to her and bowed. “M’lady, you and your sister have a visitor. Discord has arrived.”

“Oh!” Luna wiped her napkin across her mouth and ran off to the foyer. Forget saving effort or physical energy or whatever—Discord was here.

Turning a corner, she spotted him immediately at the door. “Discord!”

The draconequus stood three times the height of Celestia. He had the head of a pony, but all the rest of his body parts were from other animals—deer, bat, lion, eagle, goat, and a tail that could be from a snake or a dragon or something, it was hard to tell. Luna didn’t care—he was the best deer-bat-lion-goat-snake-something ever. She jumped up to hug him. “Hi, Discord!”

“Hello, girls!” Discord returned her hug. He then stretched his back and set his suitcase down on the ground. “Mommy and daddy gave you two a kingdom, so I’ve heard.” He snapped his fingers and his suitcase disappeared.

“Yes, they did.” Celestia grumbled. Luna backed away from the hug, still smiling, but chose not to stand right next to her sister.

“Well isn’t that special? Doesn’t come with the best of castles, though, if you ask me.” He surveyed the atrium and gagged. “These walls are so drab. Way too much grey. Personally, I would’ve gone with a fiery beige, or perhaps a muted neon green.”

“I find them to be perfectly regal. I wouldn’t change—yah!” She gasped, noticing a snake’s tail curled around Discord’s hoof. “What is that thing?”

“Oh, don’t be so harsh, now,” Discord said as the shy creature at the end of the tail revealed itself. “Have you met Tricia yet? She’s a cockatrice—part snake, part bat, part chicken. We have quite a bit in common.” He knelt down and scratched it, and the animal squawked in delight. “Who’s a good girl? You’re a good girl.”

Luna lit up. “She’s adorable!”

“She’s gross.” Celestia cringed. “Just keep that thing under control. Don’t let it desecrate the Royal Gardens or anything.” She turned up her nose and headed out of the foyer. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to the Royal Throne Room.”

Once the door at the end of the hall closed behind her, Discord whispered into Luna’s ear, “Somepony got out of the wrong side of the Royal Bed. Speaking of which, somepony’s in for a surprise when they discover there is no side of the Royal Bed.”

Luna smiled. Tricia scampered over to her, wrapping around her hoof. She cheeped. “Heya Tricia, it’s nice to meet you too,” Luna said, rubbing the back of the cockatrice’s neck with her free hoof.

Another cockatrice wrapped itself around Luna’s hoof, except this one had the colours and the face of Discord. “Did you miss me?” he said, pouting.

“Of course I missed you, Discord,” Luna said, giggling. “You can let go of my hoof now.”

Discord beamed. He unraveled himself from her hoof and morphed into his normal form. “So what would you like to do today? We could play tag or hopscotch or whatever games you youngsters play. Perhaps we could go flying around your kingdom, and not through a thunderstorm this time. Or we could prank your sister some more. It’s been a while since we’ve done that, and I can’t say I’m short on ideas.” He grinned, rubbing his hands in enthusiasm.

“Naw, she’s getting real sick of those by now.” Luna trotted over to the window to view the forest. Since she didn’t want to think about her magical incompetence any more today, she would rather explore the forest instead. “I want to go out to the forest today and explore. Wanna come?”

Discord looked out of the window and rubbed his chin. The forest wouldn’t be all that fun by itself. He was fairly certain he knew what a forest looked like, since he had both seen one and literally seen ‘em all, having a small bit of Luna’s parents’ omnipotence. However, if little Luna wanted to explore a forest, so be it.

“Fine, fine,” the god of chaos said, folding his arms. “Are there any rules?”

Luna thought about it for a moment. “No hurting anypony. If I tell you to stop something, that means stop. And you can move around the trees and stuff if you like, I guess, but don’t do anything too big. It’s my forest, after all.” Luna then put on her silliest serious face and her silliest serious voice. “And no fun whatsoever.”

Discord saluted, a guard’s helmet appearing on his head with a poof. “Sir yes sir!”

She grinned, then skipped around him. “Let’s go!” Tricia scurried after her.

Discord whipped his tail around, sending Tricia reeling in the opposite direction. “Tricia, you stay behind,” Discord said. He scratched underneath her chin and bulged an eye out at her through the helmet’s visor. “Keep an eye on the castle while we’re gone.”

Tricia uttered a disappointed squawk, but nodded. She was very good at keeping an eye on things.

Luna was a little disappointed at this. “Oh, okay. See you later, Tricia,” she said as she petted the cockatrice a couple more times. Tricia cheeped, then ran off to navigate the castle.

Discord’s helmet poofedaway, and he patted Luna on the back. “We can always play with Tricia later. Celestia needs someone to look after her, too, don’t you think?”

Luna smiled. “I guess so.” This was why Discord was the best babysitter ever—he made her feel like she and her sister were equals. “C’mon, then, let’s go.” Luna trotted out the castle doors.

Discord followed, lazily floating behind her. The sun shone bright that day, making the grass seem even greener and the bridge even stonier. It’s such a wonderful, ordinary day, Discord thought. How positively boring.

There wouldn’t be much trouble to stir up in the forest. No ponies to throw into hysteria, no cities to turn upside down. Even if there were, he couldn’t muster the power for it anyway. It would take more than just teleporting bed sides, probably.

“Discord?”

He snapped out of his own thoughts. “Hm, yes?”

Luna eyebrows creased. “Discord, you don’t look so happy today.”

The draconequus smiled. She was cute when she looked worried. “Oh, I’m doing just fine, dear. Don’t mind me. I thought there was forest to explore.”

“But I want you to have fun, too.” She rubbed her chin, stopping in her tracks for a moment to think. “You could turn the roads into soap again and we could skate!”

Discord rested his head on his hands as he floated along. “I would, but your mommy and daddy took away most of my power.” He lifted his hand to his forehead in distress. “I have been reduced to mere levitation, shapeshifting, and ‘moving around trees and stuff’! Woe, oh insufferable woe!”

Luna frowned, tilting her head. “I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t worry about it, I’m just teasing a little.” He straightened up and flew with more vigor, eager to move on from this topic. “Get on with this exploring business.”

Luna nodded and trotted onward. The forest let in an ample amount of sunlight. It seemed fairly warm and inviting, the leaves crunching under her hooves and some vines curling around some of the trees. Luna lifted her hooves high as she walked, careful not to trip on any of the roots. She looked for woodland creatures but there didn’t seem to be any just yet.

In the back of her mind, Luna was thinking of names for this forest. The easiest thing was probably to find an interesting landmark and name it after that, but she was open to other possibilities. Although some of the names of the other cities were corny and funny, she didn’t want the name to be like that—she wanted it to be unique, something she came up with herself. Not naming it after herself, though. Even she understood how vain that would be.

They found themselves next to the edge of the ravine, off on the eastern side of the castle. Luna peered down the edge. She could make out small rocks littered across the ground down there. Even though the bottom wasn’t as far away as she had thought, she still had a bout of vertigo from the peering, so she stepped back onto solid ground.

Discord had been watching to make sure she didn’t fall off. Now that she was safely away from the edge, he turned around casually, but he noticed something peculiar far off in the distance. An old acquaintance of his was travelling up the road to the castle. Now this was something he had to see.

He whipped back around, searching for something to distract Luna with. Spotting a pile of rocks next to a clearing, he feigned a gasp. “Do my eyes deceive me? Is this really them?” Discord hovered over to the rock pile and lifted out an armful.

Luna trotted over. “What? What’s really them?”

“Oh, I’ve been searching for these for years!” He dumped them on the ground and inspected them, rolling them between his lion paw and eagle talon. “In such good condition, too. To think, I could’ve spent an immortal lifetime looking for these.”

“For what? What are they?” Luna said, inspecting them herself now. “Tell me!”

“The fundamental essences of the universe,” Discord said, his eyes shimmering, grasping one and holding it up to the sunlight. “I can practically feel the primordial energy flow through them!”

Luna took a closer look at these rocks. All six of them were almost as big around as her arm was long. They didn’t seem different from any other rocks, misshapen and hard and dull grey and ordinary. Hardly anything super magical. “Are you sure these are them?”

“You dare to doubt me? I’m offended.” He crossed his arms in mock indignation. “They’re so very real and not made up at all, and they’re called the elements of… happiness. Delight. Good things. Something like that.”

Elements… Yes, Star Swirl had mentioned something like that in his journal. Some sort of elements. Perhaps they really were the fundamental essences of the universe. Luna stared at them in wonder. If she could harness their power, Tia would certainly be impressed, and she would let her raise the moon for sure.

“Anyway, I’ll be off,” Discord said. “Don’t get eaten by a manticore while I’m gone.”

“Bye,” Luna said, not really paying attention to him anymore. She eyed the rocks and readied a spell-casting stance. If these were the real elements, she was going to activate them, one way or another.

Discord flew up to skim the treetops, but no higher than that, as he didn’t want to be spotted. In the distance, he spied his acquaintance knocking on the castle doors. He rubbed his hands and grinned, curious to see what sort of business King Sombra was bringing down to Equestria.

Chapter 3: Blindness

Celestia sat on her throne, prepared to make the most royalest of decrees. This was what royalty did, after all—wear crowns, raise suns, and make decrees. She didn’t know exactly what to decree, though. Surely it couldn’t be harder than raising the sun.

Decrees could not be obvious statements. Decrees could be new laws, but she wondered if the laws that were already in place were fine as is. She didn’t feel like looking up those laws anyway. That would just mean more reading and more work.

She was here now and she was more than capable of making decrees, so there was no real reason to hold back. It was time to cement her status as princess of this vast land.

Straightening her back, she lifted her hoof and thrust it out in grand sweeping motions. “We hereby decree that all decrees decreed by Us are henceforth to be decreed decrees!”

She sat back and smiled, satisfied by her work. Most certainly easier than sun-raising. She felt so good about that one that she decided to do another one, this to ensure her earlier decree was valid. “We hereby decree that last decree was also a decree!”

Once again satisfied, she eased into her chair and sighed. This was living. A tiny bit of disappointment nagged at her, though. She had been hoping that some sort of note had been made. Decrees didn’t feel quite as official if they weren’t written down. Her decrees needed some form of permanence.

However, the room was empty, with the exception of a guard standing in the corner. At least one guard was required to be in the same room as the ruling party at all times, as part of a coordinated effort. Although this guard was mildly amused by her ‘decrees’, he wasn’t really paying attention.

Celestia summoned him anyway. “Subordinate guard!”

Rolling his eyes underneath his visor, he turned and bowed to her. “Yes, your highness!”

“Do We have a scribe?” Celestia felt stupid for asking this question.

The guard shook his head, bellowing his answer from across the room. “We do not, your highness!”

“Well, uh…” Celestia rubbed her chin. The tapestries in this room stifled her voice and stiffened the silence, making it a tad awkward. “Is there a village nearby?”

“Yes, your highness!”

She cleared her throat. “Well, We require somepony to make a record of everything We declare. Subordinate guard, We bid thee to hire a scribe from this village and bring him to Us at once!”

“Yes, your highness!” The guard ran off, first to tell nobody else in the castle about this because he was the scribe and simply didn’t want to write down every inane thing this princess said, then to go to the village south of the castle and find somepony that could take his job for him while he made a lateral career move to candle making.

Celestia waited on her throne. No use decreeing until the scribe was hired. She waited patiently, in the meantime soaking in the regality of the room.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, taking in the earthy scent of freshly scrubbed stonework. Repugnant, Celestia noted, as she would rather not have to smell it at all, but it was part of the castle’s character. Regardless, she made a mental note to order more thorough scrubbing of the stonework. Complete cleanliness carried a certain sense of triumph with it.

When she opened her eyes, she gasped a little, then exhaled.

Discord’s abomination stood at the other side of the room, silent and still as a statue. Celestia made another mental note for her next decree to establish cockatrice-free zones. The creature’s beady little eyes didn’t blink, but watched Celestia intently as if she was the freak of nature.

Celestia felt a pang of dread. “You better not be the scribe.”

Interpreting this as an invitation, Tricia scuttled forward, chattering in curiosity at the pretty little blue pony’s taller, less blue twin.

“No, no, that’s enough,” Celestia said, backing into her throne a bit. “Stay. Stay, girl.”

Tricia recognized these words much more clearly. She sat where she was, a little disappointed that she couldn’t meet this new pony, but stayed diligently at attention.

Celestia frowned. “Don’t stare at Us like that, filthy vermin, you’re creeping Us out.” The creature paid no heed to this. Celestia squirmed, not sure if she felt like making any more decrees until the real scribe came.

Conveniently, a guard rushed into the room and announced, “Your highness, your presence is requested in the foyer—er, Royal Hall.”

Keeping an eye on the cockatrice, Celestia scurried out of the room and shut the door behind her, trapping Discord’s monster of a pet in the Royal Throne Room. She’d be sure to have a discussion about that with Discord, but later.

As she entered the Royal Hall, she heard a sharp knocking at the door. She opened it, expecting her sister to come back with a scratched knee and Discord carrying in the little drama queen. Instead, she opened the door to a total hottie.

This gentlepony was a 4-foot-tall heartbreaker on hooves. He had a dark coat with darker, luscious locks of hair that cascaded down his head like a lush black waterfall. His eyes were soft, yet piercing, with deep red irises enveloping his ocular apertures and white parts that were a healthy shade of white, probably. His breastplate, shin guards, and short, succinct red cape accented his features well. To top it all off, he had the most devilishly handsome smile. This was literally and technically the most beautiful stallion she’d ever seen.

“Greetings,” the stranger said. He set the cake in his hoof down and gave a gracious bow. “I am Sombra, king of the Crystal Empire. I have heard Equestria has new rulers. Is this so?”

“Yes, that’d be me.” Her heart melting, Celestia almost leapt forward and offered her hoof. Sombra kissed it like a true gentlepony, and Celestia giggled like a true schoolfilly.

“Ah, yes,” Sombra said, a glint in his eye. “And what a marvellously beautiful ruler it has.”

“And what a marvellously good-looking ruler your land has. Tall, dark, and handsome,” Celestia marveled, looking the unicorn up and down. “You’re perfect.”

Sombra gave a charismatic grin. “You’re perfect, too, so this must be the work of fate.”

“Mmm,” Celestia said, completely lost in his deep, handsome red eyes. She barely noticed those eyes glance away, first casually, then awkwardly, then mildly uncomfortably.

Sombra broke the silence. “I brought a cake.”

“Oh, lovely!” Celestia said. He truly was the whole package—gorgeous, well-mannered, and in possession of cake. She floated the cake over to the plinth, still focused on Sombra, wondering whether she’d stay in this dream forever or wake up next to him. Either would’ve been positively delightful.

Sombra broke the silence once again. “May I come in?”

“Oh, of course,” Celestia said. “Welcome to my grand Royal Castle!” She swept her arm back, giving Sombra a chance to mentally introduce himself to the foyer.

Sombra stepped inside, surveying the architecture. It was rudimentary and boring, but it was best to be polite for now. “Yes, grand indeed.”

Celestia followed his eyes, nodding and sighing. “Grand, yes. So grand,” she mumbled, admiring the architecture of his flowing ebony mane.

Sombra looked at Celestia, to see that she had once again paused to stare stupidly at his face. Celestia was not the type to initiate a conversation, apparently, so he decided to stop waiting on her. He glanced down at her flank. “Destined to raise the sun, I see.”

“Mhm,” she said, nodding and falling into a trance. “Destined.”

Sombra waved a hoof in front of her face, then in front of his own to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating. Nope, she was simply that dense. He tried to snap her out of her stupor by raising his voice. “You do raise the sun, right?”

“Oh, that’s me, yes.” Celestia checked to see that her cutie mark was, in fact, a sun. “Yeah, I raise it every morning and lower it every night.” She grinned, proud to literally be able to boast this, but waved her hoof like it was nothing. “All me. Yes. I raise it.”

“Impressive.” He arched an eyebrow and smiled. “It must demand a high caliber of magical prowess, I imagine.”

Celestia nodded. She wasn’t sure about the ‘caliber’ or the ‘prowess’ bits, but she heard ‘high something of magical somethings’, which she definitely had if that’s what he was interested in. She had the highest something of magical somethings around. “Yeah, I’m very good at magic. The best that I know. I know so many spells.”

Sombra’s eyebrow arched. “Really? How many?”

“Oh, tons. I’m not sure I could count them all.” Her mind grabbed at Star Swirl. “I’ve been mentored by some of the greatest minds in history and stuff. I know a ton of magic. Like, so much.”

“Is that so?” Sombra said. “Please, your highness, if you may be so gracious as to humour me, I would love a demonstration.”

Celestia’s heart throbbed at his request. “Really?”

“Yes.” He put a hoof to his chest. “Would you kindly grace me with your presence at my castle tonight for dinner? I would be beyond honoured. If you would also indulge me in lowering the sun, as well as performing some of the numerous spells you know while you’re there, I’d be delighted.”

Celestia caught her mouth hanging open since he had said the word ‘love’. Which he hadn’t, but he may as well have. “Yes, yes please, oh I would love that too. Thank you.” Internally, she danced and sang much more wildly than a princess should.

“Very well then,” Sombra said, dipping into a bow. “It was a pleasure meeting you,” he half-lied. “I’ll see you tonight.”

“It was nice to meet you too,” Celestia non-lied. She waved as he glided out of the door, his royal red cape and dark hair billowing in the breeze as the door-guard closed the door behind him.

Once Sombra had left, Celestia danced, but didn’t sing in case he was still in earshot. A date! How could she forget the fourth best part about ruling a kingdom, alongside wearing crowns, raising suns, and making decrees: hot Royal Dates! Best kingdom ever, hooves down.

Her dancing died down, however, when she realized what she had to do to earn that hot Royal Date. She’d not only claimed to have the highest something of magical somethings (which she didn’t, being only barely able to raise the sun), but she also claimed to have an uncountable number of spells in her repertoire (and she only knew one spell—levitation).

Panic twittered across her skin like a chilly wind. Over less than half a day, she’d have to master a few impressive spells, and fast. She’d have to consult Star Swirl’s notebook for this.

She floated Sombra’s cake to a guard. “Here, take this to the Royal Bed Chamber,” she said before sprinting away.

The guard lifted his visor. Discord squeezed out of it, cake in hand. Aside from witnessing one of the oddest dance routines he’d seen to date, he was excited for the turn of events. He’d imagined many possible scenarios between Sombra and Celestia, most of them involving Sombra being his usual condescending self, as this one was, but not the one where Celestia fell in love with him. This would be oodles of fun to watch unravel.

With a snap of his fingers, he first teleported the guard that was originally in the armour back into his armour, and then teleported Celestia’s cake to Tricia to compensate for being trapped alone in a room, as well as to punish Celestia for trapping her there in the first place. He himself didn’t like to follow rules, sure, but these were kids. They had to learn some form of good behaviour. Especially Celestia, the little brat.

Fueled by instinct and intrigue, Discord took to the air and zipped through the hall to follow Celestia. It didn’t take long to find her, as she was stopping at every corner she came to, apparently lost in her own castle. He already knew she was looking for Luna’s spell book. He’d seen how slowly the sun rose that morning, and he was more than capable of putting two and three together.

Fidgety as ever, Celestia ran in half-gallops and half-trots. Discord could feel her panic rush through him like a thrill. Laughing, he twirled in the air as he flew, soaking up what little chaos he could.

Celestia heard his laugh and slip to a stop. She turned around, afraid for an instant. “Discord?”

“Hello, my dear,” Discord said, unfurling and landing on the ground. “What’s the rush?”

“I’m…” she said, but she realized she didn’t want to lead him on—no doubt that he would tell Luna if he knew what she was doing. She dashed off into another hallway.

Discord sailed behind, giddy in being two steps ahead of her. “I could help you find Luna’s room, you know. That is, if you want my help.”

Celestia almost stopped again, her heart dropping at Discord’s guess. She kept going, though. She could find her sister’s room without the help of the world’s most annoying babysitter.

Discord mumbled something that Celestia would be better off having not heard. With a snap of his fingers, he teleported the both of them to the hallway where Luna’s room was. Celestia stopped, the teleportation causing her to be slightly dizzy, and she whipped her head to Discord, frowning.

He shrugged and pointed down the hall. “Second door on the right, there.”

She eyed the door, which was slightly ajar. She hadn’t checked this place yet, so it very well could’ve been Luna’s room. However, Celestia couldn’t help but feel this was a setup. She turned to Discord, squinting. “Why are you helping me?”

“You were going to find it one way or another,” Discord said, grinning. “I’m dying to know what happens when you do, so I hope you don’t mind if I speed things along.”

She eyed him. He was wearing that mischievous half-smirk he always had on before she walked into a practical joke. Watching her step, she sauntered up to the door slowly to avoid hitting any invisible barrier too hard.

She cracked opened the door to the room, carefully at first in case a bucket of water sat at the top, or if this was a portal to the edge of a cliff. However, she saw nothing teetering precariously on top of the door, and this definitely looked like a room. Luna’s two blue suitcases lay open off to the side of the room, and the bed was characteristically untidy. She then spotted what she was looking for: Star Swirl’s journal lay open on the ground. She ran up to it, flipping through it to find a spell that was both impressive and easy to do.

“It’s rude to go through someone else’s things, you know,” Discord said, crossing his arms.

“It’s ours to share,” Celestia said, though that wasn’t entirely the case. Star Swirl had given it to Luna, so it was figuratively hers. However, this was a valuable resource, and Luna was selfish if she was planning not to share it with other members of nobility, no less her own family.

Discord stroked his chin with a talon. “Did Luna give you permission to come into her room and read her books?”

Blood rushed to Celestia’s face. She was hesitant to lie, instead settling on a half-truth. “Not exactly, but she has to learn to share.”

“Ooh, so this is breaking and entering and unlawful seizure of property!” Discord curled around the dresser. He made an orange and a goblet appear out of thin air, then squeezed the orange until all of its liquid had been extracted. He took a modest sip and smirked. “How juicy.”

She picked up the book with her magic and started to leave with it, but remembered that Luna might not like it if she discovered her sister had barged into her room and taken her journal. Instead, she set the journal back down on the ground and said, “Discord, We would appreciate some privacy.”

“Oh, sure, of course,” Discord said, twirling out of the room. “I’ll leave you all to merit your sister’s distrust and swoon over Sombralicious in peace.”

“Wait!” Celestia said.

Discord halted. He swiftly flew in reverse, through the air and around the dresser in the exact same position he had been in before. He folded his arms and rested his chin on one fist. “Mmyes?”

Celestia swallowed, knowing she’d have to choose her words carefully. “You know about Sombra?”

“Indeed. Sombra, your dear northern neighbour.” Using magic, he donned a red cape, breastplate, shin guards, and a crop of stiff black hair complete with sideburns. “Most powerful figure north of this castle. Has differing viewpoints on social structure and equine enslavement than I do, but who am I to judge?”

Celestia looked down, feeling sheepish in pressing on. “I mean, you know about me and Sombra?”

“Oh, yes, your hot date.” He leaned in close, his Sombra garb disappearing and his ear doubling in size. “Why? Give me the dirty deets, sister.”

“Stop!” Celestia blurted, blushing. Discord was such a barbarian. She took a deep breath in and counted to five in her head. When she was finished, she looked down at the book. “We just met. Today.”

“Yes, I know,” Discord said. “I was eavesdropping, after all.”

She almost shot him a glare for that, but his regular sly smile was gone. His smile was only friendly, almost as if she could trust him. She breathed in once more, then took a risk. “Please don’t tell my parents.”

Discord considered this for a moment. He could sympathize, having had to bear Celestia’s parents for years by now. Just because he ran kingdoms differently didn’t mean his ways were ‘wrong’ or ‘immoral’ or any other meaningless words ponies liked to use. He knew how limiting limits could be.

Plus, there wouldn’t be much fun in telling her parents now. In fact, the longer it went on, the more potential for chaos there would be. What if Celestia hooked up with Sombra, and even eloped or something? Her folks were bound to find out sooner or later anyway, and what a firestorm that could bring about. Good things come to gods who wait.

Discord literally zipped his mouth closed and crossed his heart. Celestia smiled at this. For the first time in a long time, she felt she could trust him. “Thank you.”

He unzipped his lips. “Don’t mention it.” He walked, normally, to the other side of the room. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to see where you abandoned Tricia.”

“In the Royal Throne Room,” Celestia said, turning back to her book.

“Right, right.” Discord swirled out of the door, pulling it closed behind him. He left it open just enough such that Celestia would have some warning in case Luna came down the hall. Then, he was off to free Tricia and make sure Luna hadn’t stubbed a hoof or died or anything while he was gone.

Exhaling in relief, Celestia flipped through the journal to see if she could expand her magical knowledge beyond just telekinesis.

~ ~ ~

Concurrently, Luna flipped through Star Swirl’s journal in her mind, out in the clearing in the woods. She could picture each page in her head, and subsequently which spell came after which. The general order was that easier or more common spells were towards the beginning of the journal, and the harder and weirder spells came later.

Could she actually perform any of these spells? No. However, if the fundamental elements of the universe were in fact the pile of rocks sitting right in front of her, maybe she could absorb some of their power, or at the very least, one of these six rock-elements would see her trying really hard to cast spells, take pity on her, and throw her some sort of a supernatural bone.

She had just tried one of the weirder spells: there was a spell that made anything you wanted to smell like a flower. It was one of the more intermediate spells, a step below freezing. Although she’d never tried it, as she’d never seen a point in using it, she figured she might as well give it a go. Unsurprisingly, it didn’t activate any sort of power, but one of the rocks now smelled faintly of lilies.

Perhaps something more conventional would work. Freezing was next in the journal, a common spell but a slightly trickier one to do. Luna wiped the sweat off of her forehead, stretched, and set her hooves into the grass again. This one she had practiced about as much as teleportation, with as little success. No harm in trying, at least.

Breathing was important for this one. She inhaled and exhaled deeply, feeling the air as it funneled through her nose, down her throat, into her lungs, and out again. She tasted the coolness of it and imagined savoring the same sensation in her horn. It tingled. Luna then directed that tingling energy outward, towards the pile of rocks.

A small spark leapt from her horn. She immediately reeled and grabbed her head—brain freeze. The little spark jumped back and forth between the rocks, landing on a nearby sapling. The beam made a small light blue spot in the tree, which spread for a little but not very far.

Luna stared at the patch of hard, shiny, light blue material. She was disappointed, but she had to touch it to be sure. Nope, it wasn’t cold. She’d turned the bark into crystal.

She stomped her hoof. “Not again!”

“This has happened before?”

Luna whirled around to the voice. Standing before her was the closest to anything royal she had seen since arriving. Overall, he was a dark pony, his face framed with black sideburns and a crooked horn underneath a humble crown. Something about him unsettled her, though, and it wasn’t just the sideburns.

The dark pony raised his eyebrows, nodding towards the tree. “I said, ‘This has happened before?’”

“Uh, uh, yeah,” Luna said, blinking a couple times. For a second there, she had forgotten blinking was a thing she did. “Yeah, I did that to an apple once on accident.”

“Is that so?” The dark pony said. He walked up to the tree and investigated it, stroking his hoof across the patch. “Transformed into pure aqua aura quartz. Incredible.”

For a full minute, Luna watched on as the stranger inspected all facets of the patch. When he had looked at it from nearly every possible angle without saying a word to her, she spoke up. “Um, who are you, mister?”

“Oh! How rude of me,” the dark pony said, moving away from the tree and bowing to Luna in a practiced motion. He extended his hoof to her. “I am King Sombra of the Crystal Kingdom. As you can imagine, I take great interest in the work of talented young sorcerers such as yourself.”

Luna precariously reached out to shake his hoof, but he pulled her hoof in to kiss it. She retracted almost immediately, tempted to wipe it off on the ground or something, but she thought that might be rude, so she hid her grossed-out feelings. “I’m Luna. Nice to meet you.”

“I would say the same, but that would be a heavy understatement,” Sombra said. “You’re one of few ponies I’ve met who possess such a potential for power.”

“Oh, thanks,” Luna said, still unsure about this stranger. He seemed very interested in her, graduated from a passive, normal interest to a rising, uncomfortable want.

Sombra took her silence as his cue to continue. “Perhaps we could become partners. Would you like to come live in my castle? I think you’d very much enjoy it there.”

“Um, no thank you,” Luna said, backing up a little. “I have to stay with my sister here. I think.”

“Do you, now?” He leaned back a little, broadening his shoulders and squinting at her. “Don’t you want more out of life, dear Luna? More than lollygagging in the forest and performing spells on simple, ordinary stones?”

At the moment, no, exploring the forest and practicing magic and playing with Discord suited her just fine. “No thank you, sir,” Luna said.

“Think about it.” Sombra knew he could convince her eventually. He just had to find the right hook. “You could be famous. All of Equestria and beyond would know and fear you. Texts and tomes for eons to come would eternalize your face, your name, and all the power that implies.”

She couldn’t think of many more polite ways to turn him down. “Thanks for the offer, sir, but no thank you.”

“Wealth, then! Just imagine,” Sombra said, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. “You could have all the riches in the world. Multitudes of all the platinum-plated horseshoes, priceless relics, and diamond-studded chariots you could ever want. A palace filled from wall to wall with more gold and jewels and treasure than you could possibly imagine.”

Luna looked around. “But you just told me to imagine it.”

Sombra found himself grasping, running out of incentives. “You could have a lot of friends. Servants to attend to your every whim. Um, you get to sit on a really nice throne. You like dresses? You could have very pretty dresses. Fancy balls and all that.” He tossed a hoof up. “I don’t know, uh. You could have the most powerful magic in the world, is what I’m saying.”

Luna’s eyes widened a little at the last one. Bingo, thought Sombra. “The most powerful magic in the universe, as powerful as—even more powerful than your parents!” He stretched his hoof towards the sky, his cape flowing in the breeze. “You want to raise the sun, the moon, the stars? Create entire oceans and flatten entire mountains? You could even make your own Earth if you wanted! How does all this sound to you?”

Overwhelming. This guy was starting to talk crazy. Not only that, but a little bit of smoke seemed to leak from Sombra’s eyes. Luna suddenly became scared that he would take the elements from her. She side-stepped over to the elements, one hoof raised, unsure if she should run and tell her sister or fend him off herself.

“Well?” He waited for a response, glancing between her and the patch of crystal on the tree.

She could sense a hint of desperation in his voice and eyes. “I’ll think about it,” she said. This didn’t seem to sway him, as he didn’t stop staring. “I promise, Mr. King Sombra—”

“Ah, ah.” He waved a dismissive hoof and smiled. “Please, just Sombra, child.”

“O-okay, Sombra,” Luna said, even more weirded out now that he called her ‘child’ like that. “I’ll definitely think about it, but I need some time.”

King Sombra nodded, then backed away. Luna relaxed a bit at this. He adjusted his cape and said, “I eagerly await your decision, fair Luna. Until we meet again.” He turned and walked away, his cape fluttering in the breeze.

“Bye,” Luna said, not budging an inch until a full sixty seconds after he had disappeared from view. She then turned to the elements behind her, counted them five times over to make sure they were all still there, and rolled them, one at a time, towards the castle with vigor. This was also when she realized her hooves were shaking, and probably had been for quite some time.

She’d have to tell somepony about Sombra, Discord or Celestia or a guard or perhaps her parents. He was scary and aggressive and a little creepy, and had shown no sign that she could trust him. She had to hide the elements and try to activate them somewhere more secluded, like her room.

Rolling the stones like wheels to the castle, Luna couldn’t ignore the queasy feeling in her stomach. Sombra was somepony to be careful around, no question about it.

Author's Note

Preread by NotSoSubtle

Chapter 4: Dafter

Luna stopped to take another break. She wished she had brought water with her out here in the forest. For now, she had to make do with swallowing her saliva and pretending it was water, which was kinda gross and didn’t really help anyway, but she had no other choice.

Stones were heavy. Rolling them wasn’t easy, and her shoulders and back were starting to complain. It was possible that these stones in particular were heavy because they were holding in so much untapped magical potential. All the more reason to get these rocks to safety.

Luna turned around to see her progress. She was halfway between where she had started and the base of the castle bridge. Decent progress, considering she’d rolled stones for half the morning, but still not nearly as far as it felt. She stretched out her shoulders and sagged.

“You need help there, kiddo?”

Discord’s voice was a relief. Luna turned to see him sitting in midair in a small folding chair. He folded his hands behind his head as he let out a long yawn. “I feel the need to intervene. Your plot’s dragging and your stellar supporting actor isn’t getting enough screen time.”

Luna smirked. “Does that mean you’ll help?”

He put his hands on his hips. “Well, we wouldn’t want you to suffer the same fate as the pony who was charged with rolling a boulder uphill and watching it roll back down for eternity, would we?”

Luna knew exactly which pony Discord was referring to, but couldn’t quite remember his name. Oh, yes, that’s the one. “You mean Sissyface?”

Discord chuckled. “Close enough.”

He hopped up and took two of the rocks, one in each hand, and rolled them along the path at the same pace as Luna. They continued to roll stones right up until noon.

Discord made it into a sort of a game. A couple times they held races to see who could roll a rock the fastest to the next tree or funny-looking boulder. Discord would usually take the lead but get too tired near the end, letting Luna pull out ahead.

Sometimes he would roll a rock by picking it up and somersaulting, once doing this with Luna. A surge of giddy wooziness rushed through her as the world spun around her. Discord released her, and though she could barely keep from tipping over, she pleaded for him to do it again.

Partly, Discord was having fun, but he was also stalling. Celestia was still in Luna’s room, rushing through the journal, practicing spells to flaunt at her date that night. When Discord and Luna rolled the stones all the way up to the bridge, Discord discretely wrote and teleported a note to Celestia, warning that Luna was soon to return to the castle.

Once they crossed the bridge, Luna realized how tired she had become. It was one thing to roll rocks for an hour, but it was another to roll them up the one remaining hill to the castle. She tried, but her hooves and shoulders and arms seemed to be failing her.

“Feeling a little winded?” Discord asked. He snapped his fingers, teleporting all six rocks from the bottom of the hill to the castle door.

“Thank you,” Luna said, rubbing her sore muscles. She walked up the hill with Discord. “Wait, why didn’t you just poof these rocks to the castle in the first place?”

A pair of glasses appeared at the end of his nose, and he pushed them up with his pinky. “Professionals, such as myself, do not ‘poof’; they teleport.” He tossed his glasses down the gorge. “And I’m not going to ‘poof’ them to the castle, as you say, because that would be cheating, child.”

Child. Sombra had called her that. Luna cringed and turned around, on a whim that perhaps Sombra was behind her, watching her, waiting for her to give him an answer about his proposal with that unbreaking, smoke-seeping stare of his.

“Y’know, you’ve got that look,” Discord said, folding his arms.

Seeing no one behind them, Luna turned to Discord. “What look?”

“That troubled sort of look,” Discord said, swooshing down on to the ground and holding his head in his hands. “That look that says you want to talk about something.”

Luna looked down at the ground and nodded. “I met someone today.”

“Oh, did you?”

“Yeah,” she said. “He said his name was Sombra.”

Discord stroked his beard. “Is that so?” He had thought of all sorts of possible scenarios for the meeting of Sombra and Celestia, but not of Sombra and Luna. This would be interesting. “What was he like?”

“He, uh…” Luna kicked a pebble, watching it skitter along the path. “I don’t like him.”

Discord swirled up to the castle door, setting his talon on the handle. “Is that so? How curious.”

“Huh?” Luna walked up to the door. “What do you mean?”

Discord put a finger to his lips, then slowly and silently opened the door. Luna peered in, careful that her hooves didn’t make too much noise on the stonework.

Celestia danced in the foyer to her own mental music, her eyes closed as she sashayed about. “Hm bah-dah-dee, dee la-dah-doo,” she hummed before twirling around and leaning on the plinth in the middle of the room. She then glided over to a statuesque guard and pretended to waltz with him.

Luna looked up at Discord. She didn’t quite understand, but she had a very bad feeling that her intuition was right. Discord confirmed it. “Sombra is Celestia’s new squeeze.”

Luna’s stomach got queasy again.

Celestia noticed Luna and Discord at the door. She stopped dancing and leaned against the plinth like she hadn’t just run there from Luna’s room five minutes ago. “Oh, good afternoon.”

Luna didn’t say anything in response. To think that Tia was in love with Sombra, who was dark and creepy and weird, made Luna feel sick. She turned and started rolling the elements in one by one.

Discord saluted. “Afternoon, your highness. You seem to be in high spirits.”

“I’m having a wonderful day,” Celestia said. “Did Luna keep out of trouble?”

Luna cringed. Celestia seemed cockier now that she had met Sombra, almost like she was openly flaunting in front of everyone and focusing it on Luna. She was afraid to speak up about, mainly because Celestia was in charge and wouldn’t hesitate to tell on her. Keeping her head down, she ignored her sister and continued to push the elements.

Discord spoke in her place. “Indeed she did. I hope Tricia was as pleasant to accompany as Luna,” Discord said, reaching out to stroke his pet when she came gibbering up to him. He looked past Celestia, noticing a pony sitting quietly in the corner, holding a piece of parchment in her magic and scribbling away. “I see the Royal Caricaturist has arrived,” Discord said, waggling his fingers at her. “Spice it up, darling, and try drawing me symmetrically.”

The pony had an ivory coat with minty green hair, wearing a humble cloak outfitted with pockets for scrolls and quills. “Yes, um, hi,” the pony said as she scribbled some more.

Celestia spun around. “Who are you?”

“Clover, your highness,” she said, glancing from her scroll to the princess and swallowing. She did a short bow. “I was told that the scribe was to write down everything the princess said.”

Celestia felt afraid to even ask. “What do you have so far?”

Clover reviewed her notes carefully. “Lots of ‘hmm’s, mostly. A few ‘la-dah-dee’s as well.” She kept unrolling the scroll. “Some ’diddly-doo’s…”

Luna hid a laugh as best as she could. Celestia felt her cheeks get warm as she snatched the scroll from Clover’s grasp, rolled it up, and catapulted it out the door. “That didn’t count. We order thee to start over.”

“O-okay.” Clover pulled a blank scroll out of her pocket. The guard who hired her had told her to bring many. “Yes ma’am—I mean, your highness.” With fresh ink in her quill, she jotted down the date and ‘That didn’t count. We order thee to start over.’

Luna paused in rolling the rocks, seeing Clover hide behind her scroll. The poor mare. Perhaps she needed a friend, somepony to talk to. Why did Celestia feel like she had to rule by intimidating or belittling other ponies? Luna pushed her rocks again. Things would be different if she were in charge.

Celestia watched Luna roll the stones, then looked at Discord, jerking her head towards Luna. She wanted to speak with him while Luna was out of the room, and tried to signal that. He didn’t seem to get it, so she looked at her sister and said, “You going to roll those rocks all day, Luna?”

Luna cringed again and stayed silent. Discord glanced between the princesses, then understood. “I’ll help you out, there, kiddo.” One by one, he teleported Luna’s rocks to her room. “There you are, all your oversized skipping stones are waiting for you in your room.”

“Thanks Discord,” Luna said, trotting away. Before leaving the room, she glanced one more time at Clover, wondering when she might get a chance to talk with her.

Once Luna had left and was far enough out of earshot, Celestia turned to Discord. “Do you mind watching the castle while I’m at Sombra’s?”

“Not at all,” Discord said, scratching under Tricia’s chin.

“Good.” Celestia said, her mind on the spells she was prepared to perform at tonight’s Royal Date. “I’ll lower the sun and raise the moon while I’m out. Keep an eye on your pet.”

Discord saluted. “Sir yes sir!” Waving his claw, he made a glass of water appear and handed it to Celestia. “Remember to stay hydrated this evening. Drooling too much over His Majesty the Dreamboat could leave you bone-dry.”

Celestia’s cheeks flushed. “Scribe, We demand thee to scratch that uncouth statement out.”

Clover, too shy to point out she had been instructed to write what Celestia had said and not anypony else, nodded and crossed out ‘Keep an eye on your pet.’

“Thou may have the evening off once We depart, scribe,” Celestia said. She trotted out of the room and beckoned a guard. “Subordinate guard, please find the Royal Lady’s Maid and send her to the Royal Bed Chamber at once to help Us select a dress for this evening.”

The guard saluted and ran out of the room to the Royal Servants’ Hall and gathered as many staff as he could. Rumors had spread around the staff about why the old scribe had been fired, most of them false. Regardless of the real reason, nopony wanted to share the same fate, so they rushed to elect the individual with the most experience with dresses to be the Royal Lady’s Maid. This turned out to be a mare who had threaded a needle once. All in attendance came to the consensus that this was indeed better than nothing.

~ ~ ~

Elements, elements, elements. They had to be in this journal somewhere, Luna was certain.

She sat in her room, both her hooves busy flipping page after page of the journal as she skimmed the titles. Mostly spells so far, but she knew there was an entry somewhere in here about the elements.

Luna licked her lips, realizing her mouth was dry. She was tempted to go and get some water, but her curiosity was stronger at this point—she had to know what, if anything, Star Swirl knew about these elements.

Then, she found the page near the back of the journal. The top of the page bore the title Elements of Harmony. Below this was a simple diagram, a plain pentagon with traits scrawled at each of its corners: kindness, laughter, generosity, honesty, and loyalty. However, there was no indication that there was a sixth element.

On the opposite page was a note that looked like it was written in a hurry: From one to another, another to one. A mark of one's destiny singled out alone, fulfilled. That confused the issue even more. She flipped to the last pages of the journal, but they were all blank.

Luna recounted the stones. Six. Had Star Swirl made a mistake, or had Discord? The journal seemed to insist that there were only five. And what did Star Swirl’s note mean? How did it have anything to do with the elements?

“Your highness?”

Luna jumped at the voice. Clover stood in the doorway, though she took a step back. “I—I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“No, it’s okay,” Luna said. She hadn’t had a chance to meet Clover up close, but her blue eyes were pretty and her green mane looked nice. Though she was likely several decades younger than Tia, Clover seemed to carry a mature air about her, despite seeming shy around her or her sister.

Clover cleared her throat. “Uh, Celestia sent me to see if you wanted lunch.”

“Oh, um,” Luna glanced down at the journal as if it would tell her she was hungry. Licking her lips, she turned back to Clover and nodded. “Yes please, and some water as well.”

“Okay.” Clover gave her a warm smile and turned to leave.

Luna couldn’t remember the last time anypony smiled so genuinely at her, not since her mother when she was young. It made her feel warm inside, and she couldn’t help but let the words leap from her throat. “Ms. Clover.”

Clover stopped and turned back to Luna. She nearly offered that Luna could just call her Clover, but figured the formality was okay for the time being. “Yes?”

Luna saw the smile fade, but her sweetness remained, as well as the glint of compassion in her eye. Luna couldn’t think of anything else to say other than, “I like you.”

Clover smiled again and blushed. Such a sweet child. Working for royalty seemed much less intimidating around Princess Luna. She dipped into a bow. “Thank you, your highness.”

Luna wanted to point out that just Luna would be fine, but left it alone for now. The strange warm feeling in her gut wanted to keep Clover here for just another minute more. Looking around her, she glanced at the forest outside the window and said, “Oh, hey, um. What’s a good name for a forest?”

Clover rubbed her chin. “A forest? Hmm. I do like evergreens,” Clover said, peeking out the window. “Do you mean that forest?”

Luna nodded.

“Well, there aren’t many evergreens in there. Just deciduous trees.”

“Huh?”

Clover paused for a moment, realizing a twelve-year-old may not know what the words meant, and was more than happy to clarify. “An evergreen tree is any tree with needles, as opposed to a deciduous tree, which is any tree with broad leaves.”

“Oh, okay,” Luna said, making a note on a stray piece of parchment. At the top, she wrote ‘Forest name,’ and below that, ‘Evergreen’ and ‘Du-sid-u-us.’ She set the quill down. “Thanks, Ms. Clover.”

“Sorry, they’re not really good forest names,” Clover said, drawing back a little. “I’ll think on it, though, I promise.”

Luna almost had a heart attack when Clover drew back. She didn’t want to intimidate her like her sister did. “No no, it’s okay,” Luna said, standing up. “I mean, you can think of forest names and stuff, yeah, but, you know, don’t worry about it if you don’t.”

Clover nodded, her ears perking up. “Thank you. Anything else, your highness?”

Luna shook her head, also smiling. Clover lingered for just a moment more, then turned around and trotted out of the room, leaving the door open.

She looked out at the forest and said the words in her head. ‘Evergreen.’ ‘Du-sid-u-us.’ After a while, she was just staring out at the forest, watching birds skirt along the rich green treetops.

Even a minute after Clover had left, Luna found the smile was still on her face. She shook her head and looked down at the journal. Clover was super nice and sweet. The castle staff all seemed to be nice ponies. At least there was a silver lining to staying at this castle with her bossy sister.

Speaking of which, she had a bossy sister to impress. She walked up to the rocks and turned them over to see if any of them were specially marked with ‘honesty’ or ‘kindness’ or any of the other traits mentioned in the journal. No such luck, though.

Were these actually the elements of harmony? None of the spells Luna had tried had activated them. Perhaps Discord had mistaken them for the real elements. Or, maybe there was some other way of activating them, like saying some magic words or pouring water over it, or… Well, maybe. It was worth a try.

Luna bent down to a rock. She stuck out her tongue, and with hesitation, gave the rock the tiniest lick. Thankfully, it was a small enough lick not to actually taste anything. Then, armed with a similar idea, she bared her teeth and nibbled at a corner. The rock scraped against her teeth, the feeling making her cringe, and she recoiled immediately.

Okay, licking the rocks was out, as was eating them. “Ugh,” she said, then wrinkled her nose. “Wait, did I just try to eat these?” Luna stared at the rocks, then realized not only had she tried to eat rocks, but she was starting to talk to herself. She licked her lips. Get a hold of yourself, she thought. They’re just rocks.

Luna tapped her hoof on one of the rocks, the clack-clack exceedingly typical of a normal rock noise. They were all just ordinary, dull rocks, big and clunky and rough and stupid. The stones sneered at her, too snobbish to give her any sort of hint or clue about their secrets.

Or, now that she was personifying rocks, maybe she needed a break.

Luna closed the journal and pushed it away. Perhaps there was more material on the elements elsewhere in this castle. Luna stood up and trotted out of the room to search for a library in the castle and see if there were any books on the elements of harmony. After lunch, of course.

~ ~ ~

Celestia sighed for the umpteenth time that evening. King Sombra had thrown the best Royal Dinner ever.

She and Sombra ate across from each other on the balcony of his castle, at a humble table that was ten feet long and made of pure amethyst. The food was beyond delicious, and the meal was made complete by all sorts of intimate touches, like the warm glow of candlelight, sweet-smelling enchanted crystal flower bouquets, and the throngs of wailing slave labour below.

Celestia sighed again, distracted from the general oppression below the castle by Sombra’s exceptional manners and good looks. He was perfect, the meal was perfect, this castle was perfect, and she couldn’t have asked for a lovelier evening.

Sombra sighed again, annoyed that Celestia had done more staring and sighing than talking. He stayed silent and finished his meal, as he would much rather eat than be the one to push for a decent conversation and let his specially imported radishes get cold.

Seeing Sombra eat his last bite, Celestia took that as permission to eat her own last bite. She swallowed, then gently set her fork and knife down on the plate. “The meal was absolutely wonderful. Thank you for your generous hospitality.”

Sombra smiled, telekinetically dabbing a napkin over his mouth and folding it neatly. “You honour me simply with your presence, m’lady.”

Celestia looked out from the balcony, over the crystal city below and the gate to the mild winter terrain past the city limits. The ground was a stark white but the sky a clear blue, with the sun ready to set nearby. Celestia shifted in her seat, wondering if the trip back would be just as boring as the trip here.

Sombra leaned forward, catching a thoughtful glint in her eye, hoping she’d say something intellectual. Perhaps an expression of interest in spell theory, or better yet, crystallization. Possibly some insight into Equestrian politics, or a question about the reaches of his kingdom and domain. Anything intelligent, really.

“Do you like my dress?” Celestia turned a little, letting the setting sunlight shine on her sleek, shiny, icy-blue gown.

Sombra deadpanned. “Yes, my dear. As I’ve stated multiple times this evening, you look marvelous.”

Celestia brushed a strand of her pink hair aside. “Why, thank you. You’re a true gentlepony.”

Sombra leaned back on his seat. He wanted to hurry things along, for he had some crystalmancy to finish up that night, and after a dull evening like this, he wouldn’t mind a chance to relieve some stress and whip some of the slaves. He scratched his beard. “Now, if you wouldn’t mind demonstrating some of your magical abilities, perhaps with some of the many spells that you know, I would appreciate it.”

Nodding, Celestia stood up and set her feet on the ground. This wasn’t the Royal Sun-Raising Patch of Shiny Stones, but she wasn’t about to complain. The sun hung low in the distance, ready for her to set it. Lighting her horn, she bridged the gap between her and the sun, forming the magic envelope. She thrust the envelope from the top all the way down to the bottom of the sun. This was her sun. This was her moment.

She heaved down with a hard, steady force, setting her teeth and tightening all the muscles in her body. However, she had practiced breathing properly and keeping her face at least somewhat relaxed. The illusion that she was well-practiced in telekinesis was important. Sombra would not be impressed by an obvious expression of strain, a contortion of her face until her features formed an unprincessly pretzel.

The sun obeyed, crawling its way down until the last sliver disappeared below the horizon. She pushed it further down until the sky deepened with dusk, then relaxed. She took a deep breath and sat down, turning to Sombra with a grin.

Sombra nodded. “Impressive. Such a feat is unparalleled by an average unicorn.”

“Thank you,” Celestia said, beaming with victory. With that performance, she not only impressed Sombra, but she proved to herself and to her parents that she did indeed have what it took to lead a kingdom. Celestia breathed out and leaned back, more proud of herself than ever.

Sombra leaned forward on the table, his hooves pressed together. Levitating the sun was indeed notable, but now was the time for Celestia to truly prove herself. “Another,” he said.

Celestia nodded. She had prepared for this. Closing her eyes and funnelling magic into her horn, she imagined occupying another place in the room, feeling the pristine crystal floor with her hooves. The magic envelope around her formed a bubble, and with a snap of her horn, she willed herself to move. The magic then dissipated, the spell complete.

When she opened her eyes, she had teleported two feet to her right, exactly where she had imagined. She beamed at Sombra, awaiting an equal amount of praise.

Sombra politely hid a yawn. “Yes, well, that feat can certainly be paralleled. Anypony in the advanced magical arts can perform teleportation.”

Celestia swallowed. That was the one she had spent the most time on, and she only had one other spell left to show. “Yeah, well, how about this one?”

She turned to a statue of a pony rearing with a spear in its hoof. Taking in air through her nose, she imagined her fresh, well-tended Royal Gardens, and the sweet scent of flowers in bloom. She focused that energy onto the statue, engulfing it in the magic field.

To Sombra, the statue appeared no different than it was before. He made no effort to hide his sigh and raised an unimpressed eyebrow at Celestia.

She blinked, realizing she hadn’t yet told him what the spell did. She jerked her head towards the statue. “Go on, smell it.”

Sombra got up from his chair, leaned towards the statue, and took in a tired whiff. “Lilacs.”

Feeling sweat trickling down her forehead, Celestia smiled in the hopes of any praise at all, and dearly hoped he didn’t ask for any more.

Sombra waved a hoof. “That’s enough, I think I’ve seen all I need to see.” He beckoned a servant with a whistle. “Feel free to return to your castle. I’ll have your chariot fetched.”

Speechless, Celestia was scared now that Sombra hadn’t asked for any more. “Was that not good enough?”

“Take a guess,” Sombra said, sending another servant to get Celestia’s coat. “I’m only interested in those who possess strong magical ability.”

“But I have that,” Celestia said. “It’s true. I moved the sun, didn’t you see that?”

“Yes, I saw,” Sombra said, his eyebrows furrowing. “I saw your whole body tense up as you barely moved the sun. I saw you teleport and almost faint from the exertion. Then I saw you cast a flower-scenting spell that a two-year-old could do in its sleep!” His nostrils flared, Sombra sniffed as he regained his composure, then turned up his nose. “I’ve seen all I need to see, and in your case, all you’ve got.”

The cold evening wind nipped at Celestia’s fur, and she regretted wearing such a thin dress. She felt suddenly alone up high in this castle. Home was so far away up here in the north, and her lover was even further, literally speaking. They were destined for each other, so why was he letting a little thing like magic get in their way? Celestia was certain that he would see past that eventually, and they would be together forever—perhaps just not tonight.

Sombra looked off into the distance, a bright object catching his eye. “Now, who could be doing that?”

Celestia followed his line of sight, and her jaw dropped when she saw. The moon inched up the heavens, halfway above the eastern mountains and climbing steadily. Celestia swallowed. Who would be raising the moon right now? Luna couldn’t, she could barely lift a feather. Then again, magic did tend to surge suddenly in young unicorn and alicorn fillies…

“Your sister, perhaps? I wouldn’t be surprised,” Sombra said. He draped his cape over his back, smirking. “I’ll be honest, I’m much more interested in her potential than yours. She doesn’t even have her cutie mark yet, and she’s doing what you’re barely capable of doing.”

Celestia set her jaw, then relaxed her features to show Sombra she wasn’t fuming inside. She tossed her hair, reluctantly letting a servant put on her overcoat. The stallion of her dreams had insulted her, and she couldn’t even think of a decent comeback.

Taking a step forward, Sombra could see Celestia seething, and he couldn’t help but smirk wider. “I would very much like to see what Luna can do,” he said. “Is there a good time I could visit her tomorrow and request a demonstration?”

Now he was just heaving insult upon insult. He could come over for dinner, but Celestia would just have to make him see that he actually wanted her, not Luna. Stuffing her anger down deep inside, Celestia held her head high and matched his formality. “That can be arranged.” She cleared her throat. “It is my honour to extend to you an invitation to dinner tomorrow evening.”

Sombra could hear her composure crumbling away in her words. It amused him. He offered her his arm. “I would be delighted, m’lady.”

Taking his arm, Celestia smiled and let him lead her out of the castle. Luna was really in for it this time. Celestia walked through the main hall of the Crystal Kingdom, a stiff smile glued to her face while she was still in Sombra’s presence.

Celestia would see to it that Luna would never raise the moon or embarrass her ever again. And she knew how, too: she was going to tell her parents.

Author's Note

Preread by NotSoSubtle

Chapter 5: Earnesty

Discord strode through the hall during his nightly rounds of the castle. It was more of a force of habit than anything, since sitting in any one room for too long might drive him sane if he wasn’t careful.

There was a reason for this round, though, but it was not to check the condition of the castle, which was quite boring as it currently stood in one piece. No, this was to see if Luna had yet left the library. She’d been there all day, even skipping supper. It was grilled cheese sandwiches, too. Much better than the caviar and lobster and junk they used to serve, certainly.

Discord strolled into the library, lined with bookshelves full of books, and sure enough, there was little Luna in front of two books, skimming both of them simultaneously. She was surrounded by mounds of books, and was nodding off so much, she might’ve very well slept in those books had Discord not come. He had to appreciate her lack of organization, though.

He also noticed the scribe sitting at a table, absorbed by a thick blue tome. Discord grinned. He swirled up to the other end of the table and folded his arms. “Figured you had the night off.”

Clover jerked up, ripped from the world of the book, and stared at Discord with her mouth hanging open. She looked between Luna and Discord, unsure how to explain herself and what authority he had over the scribe position.

“Clover loves books,” Luna piped up.

Clover shrugged. “Yeah, well, you know, I don’t love books. I mean, I really like them, yeah, but not in the sense that I’m pursuing a long-term relationship with them.” She snorted, thinking this to be more of a joke, then her eyes widened at how awkward of a joke it was. “I, uh, that was weird of me to say. I’ll just, uh, not talk.” She stared down at the book she was holding and propped it up in front of her face to hide. She’d have to work on her humour.

Discord took to the air, floating over to Luna and gently closing one of her books. “I think Celestia’s about to lower the sun. That means it’s about time for one industrious little researcher to go to bed.”

Clover nodded, turning to leave. Discord smirked. “Make that two.”

A guard crawled out of a pile of books and tried to slip out unnoticed. Discord stared at him as he snuck away. “Three, apparently.” He turned to Luna. “Did you recruit the whole castle to help you research or what?”

She snickered as she watched Mild Vigil crawl away, though his creaking and clanking armour did nothing to help his stealth. “Nah, just him and Clover.”

“I see.” Discord stood up and put his hands on his hips. “Well, so they say, let tired ponies sleep. Or, uh, early to bed, early to sleep, makes you less tired, something something wise. They say something. Let’s be off.”

They walked out of the library and into one of the many hallways of the castle. Discord whistled for a bit, but became bored of that quickly.

Conversation would pass the time better. Luna was never hard on the ears, and a good listener to boot. “How long have you been burying your face in those boring old books?” Discord said.

“Since after lunch.” Luna hid a yawn. “I asked Clover to help. We’ve been in the library looking for anything on the elements of harmony since.”

“Ah, yes, those things.” Discord said. He was surprised that Luna would spend that much time on some random rocks he’d found out in the forest. “Any luck?”

Luna shook her head. “None of my spells worked on them. They’re impossible.” She looked down, embarrassed. “I even tried eating them.”

Discord raised his eyebrows. “Even I know that’s not healthy. You need sleep, kid.”

“Yeah,” Luna said. She usually wasn’t one to admit that she was tired at bedtime, but it was true. Her body ached and her eyes were sore from spending all that time stooped over books and flipping pages.

Tricia walked up to them, chattering as she strutted, though she was tired as well. She sidled up to Discord, and he reached out a paw to pet her.

“What’s the big deal with this magic obsession, anyway?” Discord said, scratching Tricia under her wing. “I mean, you’re one-third pegasus and one-third earth pony, too. What happened to flying, or… earthing?”

He raised a good point. Magic was probably the thing she was least good at. And Celestia was often one to remind her of that. That was the reason, then. “Because then Tia won’t treat me like a kid anymore.”

“I get that, but you need to kick back a bit, too. Don’t overwork yourself.” Discord turned down another hallway. “It’s like you think you’re on track for god-tier power, here.” He fancied the thought of Luna as an all-powerful being like him, but figured she would probably be the god of something super cheesy like good will or, well, harmony.

Luna let out a yawn, her ears folded back as she urged her sleepy self to keep going. “Sombra said that too. I dunno about that.” She looked up at Discord. “Do you think I’ll ever get good at magic, Discord?”

Staying silent, Discord had a strange flashback. Stuck in his mind was the mental image of a shorter, more adorable version of Luna asking him the same thing. The next word he said felt half automatic and half natural. “Practice, kid. It’s all about practice.”

Luna nodded in agreement, smiling as Tricia snuggled up beside her, her feathers tickling the alicorn foal.

Smirking at the pair, Discord continued down the hallway. He felt bad that Luna really wouldn’t get anywhere with the rocks. The elements of harmony were real, yes, but from what little Discord could remember about them, they were ideals more than anything. Harmony was a sentiment, and not nearly as much fun as chaos.

He wondered just how much time Luna would waste in fiddling around with those rocks, expecting them to release some sort of ancient mystical power. Perhaps what the little whippersnapper needed was a break. A vacation, something else to keep her occupied. Or perhaps a more tangible goal, or at least a goal that wasn’t impossible.

Discord saw the sun travel down the sky outside, the deep orange light casting silhouettes of the three of them on a nearby wall. He was then struck with an idea. “You know what? We’re gonna take a detour.”

“Huh?” Luna said, then flailed as Discord yanked her, taking a sharp turn down a different hallway. She slid across the ground as Discord dragged her along. “Where are we going?”

Discord grinned. “We’re going to have a little nighttime escapade. Oh, hoo hoo, yes we are!” He did a giddy roll midair, imagining the look on Celestia’s face when she saw what he was about to do. “Trust me, Lulu, we’re going to have loads of fun!”

Luna felt her sleepiness melt away, the breaking-the-rules-at-night type of excitement propelling her to bust out in a run. She freed herself from Discord’s grasp, dashing down the hallway. Tricia joined in, flapping her wings and taking flight above them.

Discord kept twirling as he soared through the atrium and pulled open the doors to the outside. He surveyed the sky—the sun had fully set, and the moon was nowhere in sight. Perfect timing.

Luna looked up at the night sky riddled with a thousand stars, and took in a hearty swig of the cool, sweet evening air through her nose. Night in the forest was so calm and still, the leaves rustling in the light breeze and the crickets chirping in a slow, serene lullaby. She never got to see the night enough, not with her parents and now Celestia enforcing bed times for her.

“I’ve got a little project for ya, kid,” Discord said. He whirled around, his arms outstretched as he presented the sky to Luna. “Raise the moon.”

Luna’s eyes widened. “Really?”

“Yeah, give it a shot.” He glanced northward. “Hurry, though, or your sister’s going to beat you to it.”

Luna looked up at the night sky, then back at Discord. This didn’t seem like a good idea. “Tia said I’m not supposed to, though.”

“Who cares? Rules are more fun to break than to follow.” He waved her on. “C’mon, just do it.”

He had a point. What fun was living in their kingdom if Celestia was going to drag her down the whole time with rules? Besides, what harm could come from raising the moon for only one night? Celestia got to do it every night anyway. Plus, she could always use ‘Discord told me to’ as an excuse.

“Okay,” Luna said, standing tall, ready to try. Then, looking around, she realized there was a small problem standing in her way. “Uh, where is it?”

Discord chuckled. “Oh, right. I’ll help you with that.” He stretched out his talon, nudging the moon up from the east. He lifted it slowly until a little bit of the moon peeked out from under the horizon. Releasing his grip on the moon, he dusted his hands off and grinned. “There. Now you do the rest.”

Luna nodded, getting into a solid moon-raising stance. Her breath wavered. Her elbows shivered. This wouldn’t be too hard. It’d be no different than levitating anything else. This was just like a feather, except bigger. Much, much, much bigger. Luna gulped.

Feeling magic swell in her horn, she reached out with the biggest invisible hooves she could possibly imagine. Feeling the energy bubble in her horn, she tried to bridge the gap between her and the moon, but it was much too far. Her magic couldn’t reach further than a few thousand feet.

“Keep trying,” Discord said. “You’re almost getting it.”

Trying to ignore the dull ache in her horn, Luna reached the big invisible hooves even further. Her magic touched the moon, but barely, and it wouldn’t hold for long. The invisible arms strained, thinning like noodles as her horn burned in pain, and she had to release her magic. Panting, she flopped to the ground. “I can’t do it, Discord,” she said. “It’s too far, and too big.”

“What are you talking about?” Discord said, pointing at the moon. “I swear by Charon’s rotten old paddle that the moon wasn’t that high when you started.” This was true, although it was by Discord’s doing, not Luna’s. He thought the little tyke might like to catch a small magical break.

Luna followed Discord’s finger, gaping when she saw the moon. The sliver of moon visible now was almost twice as wide as it was before. She didn’t think it was real at first, that she had actually succeeded, but the more she thought she might’ve, the more joy fizzed up inside her, and the more she wanted to jump and yell.

“The moon moved!” She hopped and bounded in glee, saying to Discord, “Did you see that? It moved! I moved it!” Finally, after all her hard work, years of practicing magic with little to no success before, she had moved the moon. She had never felt so charged, so giddy, so proud, so alive!

But before she could celebrate any more, a strong force grabbed hold of her horn. The electrifying feeling surged in Luna’s body, every strand of hair in her fur standing on end. Luna threw her head back as massive amounts of light and energy shot forth from her forehead.

Discord stood still as a statue, watching Luna struggle and squirm in raw power, as an intense beam of magic discharged at the moon, enshrouding it in raw magic. With seemingly no resistance, the moon glided up the night sky, coming to rest when it was fully above the skyline.

The magical torrent from Luna’s horn ceased, and she collapsed on the grass. Discord zipped up to her, since it was now safe to go near her. He scooped her up, but she lay limp in his arms. Discord whispered, “Luna? You’re not dead, right?”

Luna opened her eyes, completely worn out. In her hazy vision, Discord materialized, his brows turned up in surprise, his voice distant and soothing. “Hi,” she said.

Hearing her faint voice, Discord let out the breath he had been holding. He looked up at the moon in the sky, laughing to himself. What a night. In lying to a child, he had accidentally activated cutie mark magic and made her realize her destiny.

“What is it?” Luna asked, trying to clear her vision by blinking.

Discord lifted Luna up to see the moon. “You did it, kid,” he said. “I’m proud of you.”

Luna marvelled at the moon, shining bright and high in the sky, enormous as ever and more beautiful than anything she’d ever seen before. And she did it. She had raised the moon, all by herself. Without a doubt, this was the most wonderful night she’d ever known. She smiled, tears forming at the corners of her eyes.

She pulled herself closer to Discord’s fuzzy chest, hugging him. “Thank you, Discord.”

“Don’t mention it,” Discord said, discovering an unusual substance lingering in the corner of his eye, likely his eye’s natural reaction to the wind. He strode inside the castle, off to tuck in the little celestial-body-mover. Tricia remained outside, sleeping in the grass, tired out from the excitement.

Discord wasn’t about to mention the small moon cutie mark Luna now displayed on both flanks. That could wait for tomorrow. For now, she needed rest.

~ ~ ~

Celestia sat at breakfast. She hadn’t spoken a word to anypony since she got back from her parents’ house.

Her parents were gone. There was no sign of them left at their house. Their cloud bedroom, cloud closet, cloud cupboards—all empty. Nopony at the cloud kingdom transportation centre could tell her anything about her parents’ whereabouts. They hadn’t even left a note, only a cloud “For Sale” sign lodged in the front yard.

There was nothing to fall back on, now. It was just Celestia, and no one to help her manage a maniacal babysitter and a spoiled sister, plus her subjects or whatever.

Eating her breakfast now was an automatic function—she was too jittery to actually feel hungry. Celestia transferred another spoonful of oatmeal to her mouth as she thought about where her parents were, why her parents had left without telling her, did she still have to trim the cloud hedges while they were gone—questions that three hours of fitful sleep couldn’t answer.

“Morning,” Luna said, much more chipper than usual as she trotted by Celestia.

Celestia stared at Luna as she walked past, not noticing that by where her sister had entered the room, she had taken the long way around from her bedroom to the Royal Dining Hall. No, Celestia’s gaze was fixated right at Luna’s flank. Formerly blank, it now bore a simple, white crescent moon.

If that wasn’t proof enough that she had raised the moon last night, Luna exhibited an unusually snarky attitude. The way she practically skipped to her seat at the table, the way she smiled, the way she asked for strawberry jam where before she had eaten her toast plain.

Celestia started to shake, not only due to fear and fatigue, but now anger as well. She tried to keep her tone as level as possible. “You raised the moon last night.”

Luna nodded. “Uh huh. I raised it all by myself. Didja see my new cutie mark?” She turned and stood on her tiptoes to show off her flank.

“Yes,” Celestia said, not bothering to look again. Her jaw clenched as she stared at the breakfast in front of her—toast and oatmeal. From a staff this incompetent, this is what she had come to expect of a Royal Breakfast.

Luna took a large bite of her toast. “Well, since you have a sun cutie mark and I have a moon cutie mark, I figure now we can do a rotation, you know? Like, you raise the sun, I raise the moon. Cuts your work in half. And I mean, I don’t mind, I’m totally fine with raising the moon, it’s not even a chore at all to me. We could raise the sun and moon from separate rooms, too, ‘cause that’s okay with me if you prefer—”

“I told Mom and Dad last night,” Celestia lied, staring hard at Luna.

Luna’s eyes widened in surprise. She stopped chewing her toast and swallowed. The excitement from her late night escapades died down, now turning into regret. Of course Celestia would’ve seen her raising the moon. Of course she would’ve gotten mad. But telling their parents… Luna knew she was in for it now. “It was Discord, I swear,” she said.

“Discord doesn’t have the moon cutie mark, does he?” Celestia said, folding her arms.

Luna didn’t break eye contact. “Discord told me to.”

Celestia leaned forward and pressed her hooves together. “Mom and Dad told me that you’re grounded to your room for three days.”

Luna’s jaw dropped. “Huh? They did not!”

“Yes,” Celestia said, wondering if there was something else she could add to that to make it more of a complete punishment. Her mind wandered to her date that night, and she had an idea. “And they also said to take away your journal.”

“What? Why?” Luna stood up.

Celestia shrugged. Mom was to blame for this, not her, and Mom wasn’t even at home. “Mom said I was in charge. You have to listen to what I say. I told you not to raise the moon. You didn’t listen.”

“But you said it was because my magic wasn’t strong enough. And look!” Luna levitated her spoon, then her fork, then the candelabra in the middle of the table. “Look! I can do it now!”

“I don’t care, Luna,” Celestia said, stiffening her jaw. “I’m the sovereign ruler. Raising the sun and moon is my responsibility, not yours.”

“But, Tia—”

“SILENCE!” Celestia erupted in a full Royal Voice. No, Celestia, count to ten. Count to ten. She counted up to ten, relaxing her shoulders and clearing her throat. “Do not call Us Tia. As princess of this castle, We command that thou must finish thy breakfast and depart to thy room at once and fetch the journal.”

Luna gawked at Celestia. Never had she expected things to go this badly. She looked down at her half-eaten toast, losing her hunger, but eventually finding the courage to speak. “You used the Royal Voice. On me.”

Celestia lifted a spoonful of oatmeal to her mouth, chewing slowly, like a princess. She swallowed, looking back at her sister and waving her spoon in the air as she spoke. “If thou should choose to act like a subject, then thou shalt be treated as such.” She jerked her spoon toward the hallway. “Go to thy room and fetch thy journal.”

It was Luna’s turn to shiver in anger. She threw her toast down on the plate, then picked up her spoon in her magic and slapped that down, then rose from the table, then picked up her toast and threw it down again for emphasis. She stomped out of the room, her stomps eventually getting quieter as she went to her room and the Royal Dining Hall growing silent.

It was then that Celestia noticed the sound of scribbling. “Scribe,” she said.

Sweating, Clover stopped writing, hoping she could hide behind the ensuing silence. Celestia was mad, though, so Clover didn’t want to further anger her by delaying a response by too long. “Yes?”

Celestia stared at her, overwhelmingly tired from a sour date, barely any sleep, and having to use the Royal Voice on something other than decrees. She seized the scroll from Clover, tearing it in half five times. “Thou art fired.”

Clover nodded, fleeing from the room. Once the rest of the staff heard of this, they arranged a meeting to discuss unionizing. One mare pointed out that the daughter of omnipotent beings was on edge, and so if the staff were to go on strike, the princess may resort to smiting. Nopony knew if such a thing as smite insurance existed, so all agreed that perhaps it would be best not to annoy the princess, and if she became angry, to stay still in case she only saw movement.

Celestia waited in the Royal Dining Hall, tapping her hooves together. She’d never had the power to punish her sister before, actually, and although it did feel right to exert it, she was trembling from it. She now not only had responsibility, but power, and that was scary by itself.

No one was above her, now. No one was here to tell her how she was doing, nor to confirm she had done all her chores today, or even if she’d done them properly. Was grounding her sister for three days a suitable punishment, or would three weeks be more appropriate? Ruling a kingdom was easy, in theory, but now she wished she had some guidance, at least somepony who had done this before. For the first time in many years, she wished Star Swirl was here to guide her.

She didn’t even have a scribe anymore. Celestia was all alone now, and she couldn’t decide if this was liberating or a catastrophe waiting to happen.

Luna came plodding back, Star Swirl’s journal floating above her head. She hurled it on the ground in front of Celestia, then turned around with a ‘hmph’ and stormed out.

Celestia had barely noticed her sister’s behaviour, only seeing the journal now before her. She picked it up, smoothing over the cover with her hoof. This was her ticket to peace of mind.

She didn’t have to be alone. Sombra could guide her. He was the ideal solution. He was experienced, certainly; he’d probably been a king for at least more than two days. Also, not only was he a charmer inside and out, but she could turn to him for help at any time, once they were married and all that.

There was literally no other option: she had to win him over. Thus, there was only one thing left to do at this point, and that was study spells.

She cleared her throat. “Cancel Our plans, clear Our calendar for the day,” she said out loud, then realized that she did not yet have a Royal Calendar. “Scribe, devise a Royal Calendar for Us,” she said, then remembered she no longer had a scribe. In fact, she was completely alone in the room, and had been speaking to no one at all.

Fine. She didn’t need to speak to anypony, anyway. She flipped open the journal to the rearmost pages, filled with the complicated spells. If Sombra was looking for a high something of magical somethings, he was going to witness the highest something of magical somethings she could muster.

Chapter 6: Tragic

“Welcome to my humble abode,” Celestia said, greeting King Sombra at the door. “Please, come in.”

“Thank you,” Sombra said, stepping through the castle doors. He knew she’d be fishing for compliments soon, so he decided to get it out of the way as soon as possible. “I watched you lower the sun and raise the moon on my way here. Splendid work,” he said with a minimum amount of decorum.

“Thank you kindly,” Celestia said, turning to the side to show off her evening gown.

Celestia had picked the simple blue dress last night because she thought it would convey modesty, but Sombra was obviously more interested in a mare with power. So for tonight, she picked a long and full red dress, with a large brooch pinned on the chest. The brooch was in the shape of a sun and had a hefty ruby in the centre, and even though it chafed a bit against her skin, she knew it’d be worth it.

Which it was. She noticed Sombra’s eyes wander to her brooch frequently. “It was a gift from my mother,” she said.

“Ah,” Sombra said. If there was one thing going for this moron of a princess, it was that she had powerful parents with a fine taste in jewels. The ruby was plump and full, and looked quite delectable, but he was not here for the ruby. He let a guard take his cape. “Will Luna be joining us this evening?”

Celestia shook her head, bowing it a little to pretend she was disheartened. “I’m afraid not.”

“Are you certain?” Sombra could tell by Celestia’s feigned disheartenment that Luna was, in fact, present. He knew that with a small push, he could convince Celestia to bring her sister after all. “Her absence would be such a disappointment. Couldn’t we make it a family affair?”

“She’s currently preoccupied with another…” Celestia glanced down the hall, wondering just what Luna was up to in her room. “…preoccupation.”

“Is that so? Well then, let me put it this way.” He took his coat back from the guard holding it, threatening to put it back on. “If Luna doesn’t come to dinner, neither will I.”

Celestia clenched her teeth behind her lips. All he could talk about was Luna, Luna, Luna, but never her. As long as she could get him to stay for dinner, though, he’d see. “Fine,” She said, smilng, then turned to a guard. “Please escort our guest to the Royal Dining Hall.” She turned back to Sombra as he hoofed his coat back to the guard. “Luna and I will join you there.”

“Wonderful,” Sombra said, grinning.

Smiling and nodding, Celestia turned away and walked down the hallway towards Luna’s room. Sombra still insisted on seeing Luna perform magic, but Luna wasn’t princess material—why couldn’t he see that? Celestia tucked her chin and quickened her pace, but slowed as her anger subsided.

Luna tagging along made for a hitch in the plan, but it wasn’t the end of the world. She could have her cake and eat it, too; all she had to do was distract Sombra from Luna. Luna was good enough at magic now that she could raise the moon, so as long as Celestia kept her from performing any tricks or Sombra from making any requests, everything would turn out just fine.

“Good evening, your highness,” Discord said, swirling up beside Celestia as she made her way down the hall.

“Evening to you, too,” she said. She glanced at him, noting his outfit: a large fur cloak over a royal blue surcoat, topped off with a glamorous velvet hat. “You look dashing.”

“Thank you,” he said. He folded his hands, wondering if Celestia was intentionally dodging the question on both of their minds. “Will I be joining the three of you at dinner tonight?”

“Not tonight.” She bit her lip, remembering Discord wasn’t always as annoying as he tried to be. “I’m sorry. Tonight is important to me.”

“Exactly! That’s why I’ve planned the whole evening with all sorts of important activities!” He unrolled a scroll and cleared his throat. “I figured we could play a two-versus-two game of chess during the meal, with little shrunken-down guard ponies as game pieces. Then, perhaps a game of go fish with real fish, complete with an innovative slap-based game mechanic.” His eyes travelled further down the scroll. “Oh, and I was hoping we could pair off and take turns having some real heart-to-hearts. I’ve always wanted to tell Sombra how much of an uninspiring dearth of a friend he is. I’m sure you have something equally reassuring to say to Luna.”

And yet, sometimes he was exactly as annoying as he tried to be. “No,” Celestia said, eyes forward as she walked down the hall. “You may not interfere with us this evening.”

His clothes and scroll poofed away, and he folded his arms. “Very well. I suppose I can live on leftover Royal Table Scraps for the time being.” He floated up to the ceiling and vanished.

Celestia kept walking, trying not to let Discord faze her. As immature as he was, he would understand. This was the most critical date of her life (and the second date of her life, incidentally). She had enough to worry about tonight than to let Discord distract her.

Most of that worry stemmed from Luna. Celestia dreaded inviting her to dinner, but if this was what would make Sombra stay, so be it.

She opened the door to her sister’s room, and was immediately overwhelmed by what smelled like a bouquet of assorted flowers shoved into her face. Luna lay in the middle of her room, eating her designated dinner—a grilled cheese sandwich, leftover from last night.

She didn’t bother to look over at Celestia, as she was quite content where she lay. Ever since she’d realized that she didn’t need the journal anymore, she’d been trying spells all day. Now, after making three frozen trees, a room smell like a full garden, and a stack of magically copied books, she lay on her back, levitating her sandwich into her mouth and chewing with contentment.

Celestia frankly didn’t care for the pungent floral fragrances. “You’re coming to dinner. Put on something decent. If you don’t come, you’re grounded for three more weeks.” Slam went the door.

Luna savoured the bite of grilled cheese in her mouth, then slowly got up and looked at the dresses in her suitcase. She didn’t feel like wearing a dress, especially not for her sister, but if she was going to at least try and avoid three more weeks of grounding, she might as well throw on something. Surveying her options for the evening, she initially picked the easiest one to put on: a short white frock. However, the lace and frills made it look too girly.

She cast her dresses aside, noticing something odd at the bottom of her suitcase. It was her black collar, which was part of her Royal Regalia, but there was something new: a crescent moon, her cutie mark, imprinted on the front.

Her parents had infused it with magic to match her cutie mark, whenever that came, and she’d totally forgotten about it. Now she actually felt proud to wear her Royal Regalia. Moreover, it would be even easier to put on than the white frock.

She slipped on her Royal Regalia—the collar, some blue glass shoes, and a little dark blue crown. It wasn’t all that regal. According to her sister, royalty normally wore extravagant jewelry and dresses and all that stuff. Luna didn’t like that, though, and this getup would be good enough. It was still technically royal. It was decent, too, as per her sister’s demands. Plus, it wasn’t like there was anypony else to impress tonight but her sister.

~ ~ ~

Except for King Sombra. She rather disliked the thought of impressing him.

Celestia had said nothing about Sombra being at dinner too. But there he was, standing next to Celestia at the middle of their long marble dining table.

Sombra waved a hoof to the seat across from him. “Please, help yourself to a seat.” He smiled in a way that made Luna want to be anywhere but sitting across from him.

Luna started to turn around, but met Celestia’s piercing stare. She kept turning.

“Three months,” Celestia said.

Okay, fine. One meal couldn’t hurt. Just one night, and then maybe when her current grounding was over, she could visit her parents and request to move to another kingdom, one where Sombra wasn’t their neighbour.

Luna walked over to the chair and sat down. She was five feet away from both her sister and Sombra—much closer than she’d rather be to either—but it was only one night. She could do this.

“Good evening,” Celestia said to Luna.

“Good evening,” Luna said back, trying to avoid eye contact from Celestia and Sombra by staring at the candelabra between them that served as the centrepiece.

Sombra moved the candelabra with his magic. “Good evening,” Sombra said. He raised his eyebrows. “So, Luna, was it you that raised the moon last night?”

“Uh huh,” Luna said, squirming. With the candelabra gone, she just stared down at the marble tabletop now.

Celestia tossed her hair, turning to Sombra. “And as it so happens, it was I who not only raised the moon but also lowered the sun tonight.”

“Yes, I did see that earlier and have already pointed that out,” Sombra said. “So tell me, Luna, how long have you been practicing magic?”

“Well, only about—”

“Not nearly as long as I have,” Celestia said. “I’ve been casting spells for decades.”

Sombra smiled, staring at a beaming Celestia for a moment. This was how it would be for the rest of the meal, then. Hopefully the food would make up for Celestia’s achingly desperate pleas for attention.

A guard cleared his throat to get Celestia’s attention, then presented a bottle to her. Once she noticed the word ‘wine’ on the label, she nodded enthusiastically to the guard. Being able to drink wine was a coming-of-age, a mark of maturity. It seemed fitting to mark such an occasion: a new chapter in her life, as well as her first glass of wine.

The guard exhaled in relief. It had been debated amongst the wait staff whether or not to actually serve wine at tonight’s affair. Everypony agreed that Celestia looked right around sixteen (though the age she acted was another matter, and her actual age likely another one entirely), so they settled on a bottle of grape juice with a fancy wine label transplanted onto it.

The culinary staff tested their limits that night. The appetizer was (fresh) grilled cheese sandwiches, garnished with a parsley leaf to make it look fancy. Dinner was vegetable soup, cooked in a vegetable broth. Dessert was cake at her highness’s request.

Sombra enjoyed the unconventional appetizer. However, he couldn’t have cared less for the soup. The vegetables were all varying degrees of cooked. He could tell that the chef had thrown them all in the pot at once. It was a clear sign of incompetency, but he knew better than to blame that on Celestia. She had her own shortcomings, after all. Like how she talked about little nothings the whole time, barely giving Sombra a chance to speak with Luna.

The meal dragged on. Dessert came, and it couldn’t have come sooner. Celestia had been on edge all evening about the spell she wanted to perform, but her nerves gave in to cake. It calmed her and gave her a chance to relax.

The cake also calmed Luna, because it meant this evening was almost over. She’d been waiting for a chance to leave, and she’d already tried to get up three times, but then Sombra would shoot a stare at Celestia and Celestia would throw that stare at Luna, and then she’d have to sit back down. But now that the cake had arrived, she’d be even closer to returning to her room and escaping Sombra’s prying questions. In three bites, she wolfed down the cake and waited intently.

Once they had all finished their dessert, Celestia wiped her mouth with a napkin and stood. Now that she had eaten the cake, it was time to have it. “I would now like to perform a spell on you to further demonstrate my magical someth—I mean, my abilities.”

Luna stood up too, hoping this cued the exchange of farewells, but sat back down at Celestia’s declaration. She could excuse herself after a magic trick.

Sombra huffed. “If this spell makes me smell like lilacs, I’ll have no choice but to take that as an insult.” He shot Luna a grin. Luna would’ve laughed had any other pony than Sombra said it.

Celestia cleared her throat to reclaim Sombra’s attention. “This spell will grant you power. Stronger magic for unicorns, stronger wings for pegasi, stronger hooves for earth ponies, and so on,” she said, almost directly quoting the journal with the exception of the “and so on” bit.

Sombra shifted. The spell appealed to him, and he had spells like that cast on him before, but only by practitioners of magic that he trusted and that, well, actually practiced. “Have you performed this spell before?”

“Yes,” Celestia said, with honesty. Somewhere out in the forest, there hopped a frog with significantly more developed quads and glutes than his frog brethren.

Sombra gave it a good amount of thought. Celestia may have been a dimwit, but she was an alicorn, and she seemed to be more magically inclined than most unicorns. She could lift the sun, after all. Perhaps she truly was skilled enough to pull this spell off. Plus, he could always escape her magic manually if the spell went haywire. Might as well give the puppy a chance to bark. “Go ahead.”

Celestia nodded, taking a few steps away from Sombra. Planting her hooves on the floor and tightening her core, she breathed out. She’d practiced this spell. She’d performed it before, and she could do it again.

She brought magic into her horn and dug into the darker parts of her heart. Slowly, she felt something like a spoon scooping out a small piece of her soul. The piece of soul-energy shifted into her horn, her head feeling heavy.

Sombra was lifted into the air, enveloped in a full aura of yellow magic. He was surprised at what he saw, the sparks and magic undulating from her horn. This didn’t seem like simple levitation, but something more, something advanced. And, as he noted from the shadows leaking from her eyes, something dark. This might be interesting.

Multicoloured ribbons of magic swirled around Sombra, spinning faster and faster. Celestia allowed herself to smile—the spell was working! Of course, she’d tried it before, but not on a pony. She could only hope that the spell would work.

But what if it didn’t? The spell would just stop, right? Nothing would happen to Sombra. Although, the spell did come with some sort of warning that she hadn’t bothered to read. Celestia’s smile faded. What if Sombra was permanently damaged by this if it didn’t go well?

She tried to put that out of her mind as she funnelled more energy into the spell, but she realized the spell was beginning to wane. The ribbons became thinner, and the glow of Celestia’s horn grew dimmer. She gave another push of magic as hard as she could, but that wasn’t enough to rejuvenate the spell.

Then, with a pop, Celestia’s magic fizzled out and Sombra dropped to the ground. She felt her energy return to her body, the spoonful of soul rushing back in. She scanned Sombra for any damage. There was none, but he didn’t look any more powerful, either.

A smile crept across his face. “It didn’t work.”

Celestia paled. Well, she would’ve paled if her fur wasn’t already white. She ran a hoof through her hair and straightened out her brooch. “It almost did.”

“So what?” Sombra sighed and leaned on the table. “ ‘Almost’ doesn’t cut it, child. I’m not ‘almost’ a king. Wars aren’t ‘almost’ won. You had your chance, and you know what? You almost made it. But you didn’t. What a shame.” He turned to Luna. “Now, Luna, would you like to try a spell for me?”

“No!” Celestia said. “I can do it. I did it before.” She teleported Star swirl’s journal into her hooves, which she had hidden behind one of the tapestries in case of a situation just like this. She hadn’t gotten the spell quite right, and she needed a reference. Skimming through the pages, she searched for the section on the power spell.

Luna watched, having already memorized the page that Celestia was looking for. It was one of Star Swirl’s last spells. “I think I might know what went wrong,” Luna said.

“Shush!” Celestia said, frantically searching the book. “I just need a minute.”

But Sombra was much more interested in what Luna had to say than Celestia. He leaned forward on the table. “Please, tell me, what went wrong?”

Luna instinctively leaned back a little, and glanced more at Celestia than at Sombra. “Well, he makes a note that your emotions can affect some spells,” Luna said. “Like if you’re nervous, the spell might not work.”

“I see,” Sombra said, turning to Celestia. “So you were nervous, then. Were you lying when you said you have performed the spell before?”

Celestia snorted. “I wasn’t lying, I did the spell on a frog, can you both please shut up now?”

“A frog? Dear me,” Sombra said, grabbing the book from Celestia and flipping through it. Celestia tried to pull it back in her magic, but Sombra held fast. Frightened that she’d break it, she teleported it to her bedroom, staring at Sombra.

Sombra glared back, then turned to Luna. “What else did it say?”

Luna swallowed. “It said that dark feelings can poison the spell.” She turned to Celestia. “Please don’t cast it, Tia.”

Celestia whipped at Luna. “Shut up! You’re not casting the spell, I am!”

“That’s what’s I’m worried about,” Sombra said.

Luna leaned forward. “If you do the spell, I’ll tell Mom and Dad.”

“Mom and Dad are gone!”

Luna stared at Celestia, brows furrowed. She didn’t believe her sister at first. Sometimes Celestia’d lie to her parents to make herself look better, or to blame her sister for something, but this was a stretch for her. What did she mean by “gone”, anyway? She couldn’t mean… dead gone, right? Luna gulped. “Wh-what do you mean?”

“I went to their house yesterday. They’re gone,” Celestia said. “They vanished. I don’t know where they are, but they’re not here. They just left without even saying goodbye. We’re on our own.”

“What? But… Where did they go? What happened to them?” Luna watched her sister, looking for some sign of sympathy. Celestia couldn’t be taking this as well as she seemed to. This frightened the daylights out of Luna—why wasn’t it frightening Celestia?

Celestia had no time to console Luna; she’d already had all night and all day to process this. “It doesn’t matter. I’m in charge now.” She set the journal down, readying the spell in her horn. “I’m perfectly capable of ruling a kingdom.”

Now was the time for Sombra to put his hoof down; Celestia simply wasn’t ready. He sent a cancelling spell to her horn, but the darkness in her magic deflected it. Then, he infused darkness into the cancellation spell to counteract her dark magic, but by that time, he already found himself lifted into the air, enveloped in her magic and unable to use his horn.

Celestia once again felt a spoon scooping out a piece of her soul, except this time the spoon felt hot and quick. This drove jitters through her body, and she felt afraid because of it, but this fear only seemed to further drive the magic.

Her yellow magical aura became stained with black and dark red streaks. Wind rushed about the room, blowing out most of the candles on the chandelier, and the hall became steeped in shadow. Luna backed away from the ordeal, the wind chilling her skin, giving her all sorts of bad feelings about this.

The magic coming out of Celestia didn’t feel natural. This was something outside of herself, something evil and malicious. However, the spell was already in motion. Celestia’s heart dropped as she saw the fear in Sombra’s face match hers.

The ground rumbled as smoke gushed into Sombra’s mouth and eyes. He kicked about in the air, suspended by Celestia’s magic, and tried to fan the smoke away with his hooves. “Stop!” he cried, fixated on Celestia. “Stop!”

“I’m trying!” Celestia said, and in truth she was, mostly because her lover had told her to. She tried to cut the magic off on her horn, to reel it back in, but the magic kept flowing. She couldn’t make it stop.

The Earth opened up, tiles breaking apart as a fissure formed directly underneath Sombra. Losing all composure, he screamed as he kicked harder, sinking down into the crack. However, as he kicked, his hooves felt lighter. He brought one up to his eyes, watching it melt, eventually dissolving into smoke. In that moment, his only method of coping with this development was to scream louder.

“Sombra!” Celestia wailed.

She watched in horror as magic streaming from her own horn sent her disintegrating lover deeper into the abyss. He descended, his body dissolving in shadow, his face growing darker as he went further out of reach of the light above. The fissure shortened, closing in over a screaming Sombra, until he disappeared in the black void.

Then, the earth closed back up and silenced the room. The tiles formed back as they were, without a single crack, as if nothing had happened. The room became bright once again as the chandelier lit up, filling the Royal Dining Hall with cheery light.

Celestia stared at the ground, just about ready to break down and either sob, roar, down a bottle of wine, or eat two dozen more slices of cake. Either way, the breaking-down part was guaranteed.

Luna froze, thinking about what was about to happen. Celestia was going to get really mad, the maddest she’d probably ever been. Then, Celestia was going to somehow blame her, and would probably ground her for much more than three months. And with no parents to hold her back, well…

Luna could run, since she was halfway to the door right now, but that might make Celestia madder. She could teleport, but she hadn’t practiced that spell yet. Maybe, if she didn’t say anything, if she didn’t move, perhaps Celestia would take the time to calm down. Count to ten and all that.

Celestia did try counting to ten, but she didn’t get past two. She turned to her sister, eyes wild and nostrils flaring, and roared, “You little brat!”

Luna broke into a run, but before she could escape, Celestia hoisted Luna in her magical grasp and slung her out an open window.

Celestia didn’t think much of her heaving breath, her boiling blood, nor her oncoming stomach-ache from eating her cake a little too fast. Only that the spell had ruined her life and it was Luna’s fault. All she had wanted was Luna out of the room, preferably her life too, and she felt she had succeeded.

To her, it wasn’t really all that difficult of a throw. And really, she hadn’t meant to catapult her like she did; she merely meant to toss her out of the room. Quite frankly, if Luna wasn’t guilty in some way, she wouldn’t have run away in the first place, so it’s not like she didn’t deserve it anyway.

However, considering her levitation was powerful enough to propel a massive heavenly body, it shouldn’t have surprised her that she had thrown her sister with enough speed to exceed the Earth’s escape velocity. Yet it did surprise her, and at the same time it didn’t.

She approached the window, slowly, hoping that she had miscalculated her own strength. Perhaps levitation speed was constant, and Luna had only been thrown a hundred feet or so. Perhaps the air resistance had been enough to slow her speed, and she had come to land on a cloud or in a bush somewhere out in her forest. Perhaps she had the mind to use those wings of hers and stabilize her flight.

But no. Up in the sky was a distinct black dot. It was distinct because the moon illuminated it directly from behind, and the dot was getting smaller. Celestia watched the dot disappear, but kept staring, asserting she had probably imagined the dot, but she knew that wasn’t the case.

…What had she done?

“I don’t believe it either.”

Celestia jumped at the voice. Discord curled next to her, staring up at the moon just like she was. Celestia felt her face grow hot as she found another reason to be mad. “I told you not to come here!”

“You told me not to interfere. You never said I couldn’t watch.” Discord stroked his beard, gazing up at the night sky. “So you sent your sister… to the moon? Bwahahaha!” Discord rolled onto the ground, laughing as his hands wrapped around his sides. “That’s priceless! What a riot!”

Celestia found it hard to swallow, as her throat suddenly dried up. “You saw?”

“Oh, you know I saw the whole thing. I was sitting up in the Royal Rafters, snacking on some Royal Popcorn, watching the Royal Drama.” He made a small golden statue of a pony appear, and handed it to Celestia. “An absolutely wonderful experience. Oh, I was on the edge of my seat the whole way through. Five stars. Terrific special effects.”

Celestia looked up at Discord, his face bearing a smug grin. “This is not a joke!” she said, throwing down the trophy.

“Oh, it’s no joke,” Discord said, his grin immediately vanishing. “I had a soft spot for Luna, and you’re going to get your comeuppance, parents or no.” He crossed his arms, his tone darkening as he brought his face two inches away from Celestia’s. “Perhaps I’ll send you hurtling towards the sun. Wouldn’t you like that?”

Cowering under his fierce gaze, Celestia tried to back away. “Uh,” she said, shivering. “N-n-no. Please no.”

“We’ll discuss it later,” he said. Then, his tone reverted to cheerful again. “But in the meantime, boy, do I love the chaos you’ve created!” He leapt into the air, fireworks exploding around him. “Not only have you sealed your dreamboat boyfriend in the Earth forever, but you hurled your own sister at the moon? What a night!”

Discord’s commotion was becoming loud enough to alert the rest of the castle staff, or even the village. “Shh,” Celestia said. “It was an accident!”

“Oh, but a glorious accident, at that!” Discord mused. “Luna on the moon-ah! A true mare in the moon!” Out of nothing, he willed into existence a bard’s costume, complete with a lute and a hat with a big, poofy feather. “Songs will be sung! Tales will be told of the selfish, short-sighted Princess Celestia who sent her innocent little sister to the moon.”

“Stop, please.” Celestia could feel her heart tighten. If Discord really did what he was threatening to do, her life of royalty and decrees and fine wine would be over. “Please don’t tell anypony about this.”

“Oh, believe you me, I will.” He shook his head in disappointment as he tuned the lute. “What you did to Luna has proven that you are simply too young to rule. You have lessons yet to learn, my child. Someone’s gotta do Mommy and Daddy’s job now that they’re gone.” Finished tuning the lute, he strummed a few chords. “Now, on with the show! They’ll call this little ditty ‘The Ballad of Celestia, the Irresponsible, Spoiled, Wicked Little Child’.”

Celestia could feel tears forming, her face twisting in hurt and surprise, then fear, then anger. She would not stand to be belittled by Discord. With her telekinesis, she grabbed the journal from across the room and whisked it to her hooves. She flipped through the pages until she found the section she had first read out of. If the spell that could turn Sombra to smoke was in this chapter, perhaps there was a freezing one, too.

Discord straightened up and assumed his singing pose, plucking away on the lute. “Oh, poor young Princess Lun-a, banished to the bright white moon-ah, gone away oh so soon-ah, with no warning and no reason why.” He danced around the room, twirling his long, snake-like body. “Sent there by her sister Celest-ia, heart cold as a stone in her chest-ia. Minimal sadness expressed-ia, for a sister she’d rather let die.”

Celestia found the passage on freezing. She skimmed over the instructions and prepared it quietly, taking in a cool whiff of air through her nose.

“And that’s just the chorus—wait till you hear the verses, too!” He tossed the lute away, which exploded when it hit the wall, and he jumped onto a decorative pillar. “Oh Celestia, stone heart colder than an arctic tundra, who would much rather suck face with her lover Sombra—”

Celestia cast the spell. It shot a beam straight into Discord’s heart, and he flashed as bright as the sun. Celestia squeezed her eyes shut, covering her face with a hoof. When it was no longer too bright to see, she looked.

There Discord stood atop that pedestal, frozen in place. In wonder, Celestia approached the statue and touched it, just to make sure it wasn’t another one of Discord’s pranks. But no, it was real. His bard costume had disappeared, and he was entirely encased in stone.

Huh, stone, not ice. She may have to edit that passage in the journal, but later.

She stared at him for a minute, wondering what to do with him now. No tapestry was big enough to cover him with. Glancing out the open window, she levitated Discord outdoors, hiding him under a tree just outside. She’d deal with him tomorrow. With her magic, she closed the glass doors of the window and flipped the latch shut.

She took a look around the empty room, still lit up bright as ever. It was emptier than ever, too, though it didn’t feel that way at all. The air she breathed felt stuffy. It wasn’t just the candles; it was her thoughts, moving as fast as the room was still.

This was real. She had thrown her sister to the moon, and she had no idea how she would get her back from here. Also, she would have to look up a spell on de-stonification for when she might have to free Discord.

Then again, what were the consequences of leaving them be? There was nopony around to punish her anymore. No parents, no Discord. She was in charge. She had that power, and though she wasn’t the brightest of candles, even she knew that she didn’t have to punish herself.

The chink of metal resounded in the hall. Celestia whipped her head around, and saw the two guards standing by the door. She surveyed the room, noting that they were the only ponies in the room with her.

Celestia stared at the guards. They had witnessed everything that had happened. She feared that they would run out and tell the rest of the staff, or worse: the village. She couldn’t have witnesses. Celestia took a step towards the guards.

Perhaps no one had authority above her, but that wouldn’t stop ponies from trying to reprimand her if they knew. Rumor might spread that the princess of the land was out of control, turning creatures to stone, tossing sisters to the moon. Panicked mobs would rush in with their torches and pitchforks, outing her as the ruler of the land, trampling all over the Royal Rugs with their dirty, indelicate hooves.

Celestia stopped walking towards the guards. Perhaps these guards could be persuaded to believe that nothing took place this night. She had money, probably. What else could she offer? Well, a promotion. Stallions surely liked having prominent roles. Perhaps the positions of Royal Bodyguards would be incentive enough.

Or perhaps there were no guards in those suits of armour. Celestia smiled to herself as she trotted. Maybe there was nothing worth worrying about in the first place, that these were just statues, here as a decoration or a symbol of presence or something.

Celestia lifted the visor of one guard. Wide blue eyes stared back at her, the suit of armor rattling as the guard shook. Nope, there was definitely somepony in there.

Celestia looked to the other guard, throwing open the visor, and seeing yet another scared pair of eyes. These two didn’t look like they could be persuaded. Oh well.

Picking both of them up in her magic, Celestia trotted over to the window, reopened it, and flung the guards at the moon. Witnesses had to be dealt with one way or another.

Once the guards were taken care of, Celestia walked around the room, just to make sure nopony else had seen what had happened. She checked under the table, behind the tapestries, under the plates… everywhere.

When she had finished conducting her seventh once-over, she stood in the hallway, looking at the long, splendid dining room table. The dishes were all still there, yet to be cleaned up by the guards, though they were on the moon by now. Celestia yawned. Somepony would take care of them tomorrow, certainly. The plates, not the guards.

She walked out of the room, through the hallways, up a set of stairs, and into the Royal Bed Chamber. After brushing her teeth for half an hour, she walked over to the Royal Bed and stumbled into it, alternating between sobbing herself to sleep and waking up crying from vivid nightmares.

Author's Note

Thanks to NotSoSubtle for prereading.

Epilogue

“Princess?”

The word bounced around Luna’s head, just a sound in the black fuzziness of her mind. She tried to place that word, what that word meant, or if that even was a word.

Then she felt pain. A deep throbbing in her head, like her head was wrapping tighter around her brain. She squirmed, trying to bring her arms up to block out the pain. It certainly wasn’t helping her figure out what that word was.

Her vision came. On her left was a big sheet of black, and on her right a big sheet of grey. Both were very blurry, but they were slowly coming into focus, as was a white blob standing out against the grey.

Oh, right, ‘princess’! She was one of those.

“Yes?” she tried to say. The white blob moved. She eventually recognized it as pony-shaped, and she could make out blue eyes and a blue mane. Mild Vigil, she realized, without his armour. She smiled. “Hi Mild.”

Mild smiled back. “You all right, Princess?”

Luna found herself nodding. The pain in her head hadn’t gone away, but she was more than happy to see a friendly face. “I keep telling you, you can call me Luna.”

“Right, sorry,” he said, helping her up.

Luna could see now, and though she was a bit light-headed, she was pretty much awake. She looked around. The grey sheet turned out to be a large rocky landscape, and the black sheet was… the night sky, peppered with way more stars than she’d ever seen before.

Then her memory came back, and the hurtling through the air with strong wind and confusion and having no control over her body and then calmness. She had looked at her hooves, a stark blackness in the background. And she had looked behind her, and there was a giant, blue and green wall, which she realized was the Earth, and then she had turned around and coming at her much faster than she expected was—

“The moon,” Luna said aloud. “We’re on the moon.” She couldn’t quite believe her own words. She looked to Mild Vigil.

He nodded. He looked down at his hooves, then lifted up a few sparkly blue shoes. “You lost these,” he said.

She accepted the shoes. Part of her Royal Regalia, she realized. She looked back at Mild Vigil. “We’re on the moon.”

Mild Vigil looked down again. “Yes, Princess. I’m sorry—”

“Isn’t this the coolest?” Luna said with a wide smile. “We’re on the moon! We’re actually on the moon! We can explore the moon now. I mean, how many ponies have been up here before? We’re probably the first. This is awesome!”

“I suppose so. Maybe,” he said, watching her jump up and down. Then she jumped up and gave him a hug.

“I’m really glad you’re here, Mild,” she said, nuzzling against his neck.

Mild returned the hug. “As am I, and I’m glad you’re okay.” He backed away from the hug, then pointed with his hoof. “Here comes Keener with your crown, by the way.”

Another guard walked up to them. This guard had orange fur with a curly yellow mane, and in his hooves he held Luna’s little dark blue crown.

“Princess Luna,” Mild Vigil said, then cleared his throat. “Er, Luna, this is Keen Motley.”

Keen Motley stooped in a grand bow. “A pleasure to make your acquaintance, your highness.” He offered the crown to her, his head still bowed.

Luna accepted the crown, smiling. “Thanks, but you can call me Luna, and you don’t have to do all the bowing and stuff.”

“Oh, cool,” Keen said, straightening back up and shaking her hoof. “You can call me Keener. You don’t have to bow to me either.”

“Okay,” Luna said, chuckling.

They stood around for a minute, taking in their surroundings. The moon was pretty bare. Plain, grey rock stretched out in every direction. They had all taken in the moon before, staring up at the night sky in awe, and wondered just what it’d be like on the surface. Luna was excited to find out. Keener was expecting more cheese, as well as magical spirits or genies or slumbering mythical beasts. He also had a running theory that the moon was the fabled Tartarus. Perhaps that was on the other side of the moon, or even the inside of it.

Mild Vigil was surprised that it was habitable. “Well, it’s not as cold as I was expecting.”

“Yeah,” Keener said. He jabbed Mild in the shoulder. “You might even say it’s mild weather.”

Mild smirked. “Lay off, Keener.”

Luna smiled, then looked up at the Earth. Her magic was good now, but she didn’t think she’d be able to get them all back to Earth at the moment. It wasn’t nice of Celestia to send her hurtling up here like that, nor the other two guards. Hopefully, Discord could give her a talking-to, and he and Celestia could get them down from here eventually.

However, she knew might never again get the opportunity to be on the moon, and she might as well enjoy her time up here. “Wanna go see what the moon is like?” she asked the guards.

Mild Vigil watched as the sun crept behind the moon in the distance. “I think it might be about time to sleep. It’s going to get dark soon.”

Luna rolled her eyes. “Fine. But tomorrow, we’re going to explore.”

Looking around at the three-pony committee, Keener raised his hoof in the air. “I second this notion.”

“Right.” Mild smiled.

~ ~ ~

Celestia sat on her throne. Though, it was more leaning than sitting.

She’d been up most of the night, researching all sorts of ways to get Luna back from the moon. She only looked through one book so far—Star Swirl’s journal—and the only viable option seemed to be teleportation. She couldn’t teleport herself, because the journal told her it’d be too far. Nor could she teleport Luna because she couldn’t see her from this distance. That was as far as she got through her bouts of sleeping and jolting awake.

Of course, there was no real hurry to get Luna back. She could fend for herself. Celestia just needed to figure out a way to get her back, just in case her parents returned or Discord un-petrified himself or something.

In the meantime, she needed a plan for if she couldn’t get Luna back on Earth. She had had an idea, and it involved rehiring her scribe. As soon as the guards served her breakfast (which was cake and wine at her request), she asked one of them to fetch the old scribe from the village and offer her her position back, with potentially more than double the wages.

The doors to the Royal Throne Room swung open, and Clover was escorted inside. She shrunk under her cloak, having never been in this room before. And there, at the other end of the room, was her old boss, Princess Celestia. The guards had advised Clover that the princess was very tired this morning and quite cranky.

“Scribe,” Celestia boomed.

Clover jumped. She wished her minty green hair was longer so she could hide behind it. She stood still, calling out from the other side of the room, “Yes, your highness?”

“Come closer,” Celestia said in her Royal Voice, which was strained and a tad raspy by now. She turned and ordered a guard to fetch her a glass of water.

Clover obeyed, shuffling closer to the princess. She stopped when she was a few pony lengths away and sat down.

“Good,” Celestia said. “I don’t have to yell now.” She licked her lips, her mind fuzzy and as tired as her body. “I have heard that you like books. Is this correct?”

Clover nodded.

“Have you ever written a book?”

Clover shook her head.

Celestia stroked her chin. “Well, what kinds of books do you read?”

“Oh, all kinds. Books on ancient history, books on magic and spell casting, tales of romance, epic adventures—”

“So, like, fiction?”

“Yes.”

“And history too, right?”

“Right.”

“Pull out a scroll.”

Ready for such an occasion, Clover whipped out a scroll and quill from her cloak pockets. She watched Celestia carefully, waiting for further instructions.

The guard returned with Celestia’s glass of water. She grabbed it from him, downed the glass, then gave it back. She wiped her mouth. “I need you to write a contract. That you won’t repeat anything that I share in confidence with you, and that you’ll help me write a book. And if you do, you’ll be rewarded with lots of riches and fame and stuff.”

Clover raised her eyebrows. The prospect of fame and riches was all right, and writing her first book would be spectacular, but she had some doubts about working for Celestia. She seemed… unstable. But, as long as she was paid for her work, she could do it. It certainly beat being unemployed and homeless.

Clover read the contract aloud as she wrote it. “ ‘I, Clover, won’t repeat anything that Princess Celestia shares in confidence with me.’ ”

Celestia gestured for her to go on.

“ ‘I will help Princess Celestia write a book. I will then be rewarded with “lots of riches and fame and stuff”.’ ”

“Good,” Celestia said. “Sign it.”

Clover signed it.

Celestia blinked, realizing it might not be a good idea to leave a paper trail for this sort of thing. “Now, uh, tear that up.”

Clover raised her eyebrows. “Are you sure?”

“No, wait!” There was nothing to hold Clover to the contract if it didn’t exist. Celestia pursed her lips. “Here, I’ll just keep it.” She grabbed the contract in her magic and set it down beside her. She’d just have to remember to hide that forever.

“So,” Clover said. “I’m writing a book.”

“Yes. Several, if that’s what it takes.” Celestia scanned the room again to make sure they were completely alone together. “So I accidentally sealed King Sombra in the Earth, petrified Discord, and sent Luna to the moon. Just in case I can’t fix those things, we’re going to make up a different story and call it history. You’re going to help me make it believable and stuff.”

Clover’s eyebrows raised higher than she thought possible. “What?”

“Oh, and if you tell anyone the truth, I’ll call treason on you and have you executed.”

Nope, they could go higher. “What?”

“Hey, you signed the thing,” Celestia said, holding up the contract. “Now, uh, I think the first chapter should start with Luna turning super evil, and, like, she did those other things I mentioned, and I banished her to the moon to punish her. What do you think?”

Clover couldn’t think. Luna, sent to the moon? Why? How? It wouldn’t be permanent, would it?
Then again, why else would Celestia jump to rewriting history so fast? Why did she think that was ethical, or even plausible?

Celestia rubbed her eyes. “You look really puzzled, and I’ll answer any questions or whatever later, but for now, could we just get something written down? I’m really tired.”

Clover’s eyes were glued to the contract on the ground next to Celestia. As much as she wanted to protest, to plead that Celestia forget worrying about rewriting history and just bring Luna back, she would’ve rather not risked execution. She took a deep breath in, let it out, then closed her eyes. Hanging her head, she touched the quill to the scroll. “ ‘Chapter 1’,” she said aloud as she wrote.

Author's Note

Thanks to NotSoSubtle for prereading.