Mares are trouble. A few words get whispered over crimson lipstick and the next thing you know you’re in deeper shit than you ever imagined possible. If you’re not careful, they’ll drive you nuts—wrap you all the way around their left hoof and then step on you.

Yeah, mares. I think I miss mares more than anything.

They tell me Celestia herself will come down into this musty armpit of a dungeon to pass sentence on me, so I guess I’ll get to see one more mare even if it’s the last thing I ever do.