Dear Grandma:
Thank you for attending my graduation ceremony from the Equestrian Guard Academy. Thank you for the gift of this writing set that I am using right now.
I will start my letters right after graduation. As soon as I was sure I was going to graduate, I requested the most difficult posting I could get to get some real world experience and use it to apply to the Wonderbolt Academy.
Our graduation leave was suddenly cancelled and we were sent into real action. Our class was divvied up and sent to our first skirmish.
It was a three day flight to the Northern provinces to Richmane in full armour. I was so proud to wear it I didn’t even notice its weight until the third day. Then another day’s flight north to the outpost. When I think outpost, I think the peak of a mountain or the edge of a territory bordering another territory. Our outpost is deep in the forest.
The corporal gave us the quick briefing. The forest we’re in fits the definition of a northern rain forest. We are between the western ocean and a huge mountain range. It’s very wet and green here. You know how you wake up every morning in Cloudsdale and it's bright sunlight shining through the window with bright blue sky and bright white cloud tops. Well here it's shades of dark green everywhere. I can’t wait to go on patrol and get back into the big blue sky.
Love,
Hook Turn
/]*[\
The clearing is full of life. The clearing is full of love. The clearing is full of the colourful ones.
The ones with hard feet like deer.
The ones with hard feet like the ones that roam the prairies. They laugh, they sing.
They fill our heart with warmth.
/]*[\
Dear Grandma:
I’m settling into the routine here. We sleep in one big green tent except the officers. We’re up at sunrise which is at the fifth hour of the day and it doesn’t set until the twenty second hour. My new friend says it’s the angle of the earth and season or something. But that’s fine because we get to power nap. Some ponies hit the bunk while others sleep outside after lunch. Pegasi are not allowed to sleep on clouds because it would give away our position. I found a huge moss patch where I stamp out a soft nest and sleep. It’s just like sleeping on a cloud.
Dad said that army chow would suck. Oops, sorry. I mean not be very good but here it’s great. For breakfast you get a bowl of oats and you can have it with apple slices and wild berries, sometimes honey. There is oatmeal, but they only have powdered milk. They said apple for lunch. I thought that meant only one apple for lunch. Nope. All the apples you want. ‘Take what you want but eat what you take’. Supper is all of the above plus sweet hay. We can eat fresh grass and anything in the area as long as we don’t wander off. We must be visible to each other at all times.
Love,
Hook Turn
/]*[\
There are three types of the colourful ones. Strong ones like bison. Flyers, like migrating birds in groups, but also like predatory birds, fast. And ones with one horn. Like enchanted spirits, make things happen or appear from nothing. And the one that does not belong.
/]*[\
Dear Grandma:
Today’s morning briefing was on the flora and fauna of the land. There are only a couple of poisonous plants here and they don’t look very appetizing. There is poison ivy. Not poison oak or poison joke. ‘Leaves of three, stay away from thee’. They make it fun. I couldn’t wait to hear about the animals.
Moose are huge and cranky. They’re like a big earth pony with antlers the size and shape of Dad’s wings. There are no enchanted animals here. No dragons, no Everfree Forest-type creatures. Wolves, ordinary wolves and they eat ponies. There are black bears and grizzly bears. But black bears come in all colours, not just black. And my favourite is the cougar. They can be very deadly to a pony because they’re big cats that can climb trees and cliffs and can pounce onto a flying pegasus. Larger animals may be sentient and able to speak. But don’t count on it, and don’t be rude to the locals. Basically, the same rules as growing up. Approach every animal with friendship and kindness. Avoid everything with a sharp tooth.
After the briefing, my new friend took me aside and filled me in on the rest. Glimmer said there are others up north they failed to mention. There are polar bears and windigos and lots of sharks in the ocean.
There is a mule that brings a cart of supplies in every few days. Glimmer says he steals and not to talk to him.
Love,
Hook Turn
/]*[\
They have eyes, they can see, but they cannot see, us.
We easily conceal ourselves with a thought. They walk right by us. We smile.
We want to reach out, to touch and pet. We must not interfere.
/]*[\
Dear Grandma:
Let me tell you about a typical day here. We wake up to the sound of the bugle. But sometimes it’s a flute. Or somepony singing a rousing wake-up song.
Eat, exercise, not always a morning briefing. I’m usually on morning patrol, my favourite. I’m going to spend an entire letter just describing the view. As I said, the ocean is to the west. So bright and blue and the mountain tops are always topped with snow. The blue ocean, the white mountain peaks and the green far below remind me of the view from Cloudsdale. We’re in a valley with a small mountain range between us and the ocean; then there are the Great Rocky Mountains to the east. Glimmer says to be careful near them because of downdrafts and volcanos can shoot molten rocks at us.
Oh yeah, my day. After patrol, eat, stretch and nap. Clean the camp, check equipment, supper. There are no drill sergeants here. Glimmer says I’m going to polish right through my armour. And my favourite time of the day. Okay, the whole thing is my favourite but the best is the camp fire. Ponies bring out their instruments and play. I’m learning so many new songs. Some songs Grandma, are pretty naughty. The girls don’t seem to mind, and they always have songs to counter the bawdy songs and put us guys back in our place. Glimmer usually sings the last song of the night. A sad lament about lost love.
Last night we heard a scream. It woke us all up. Then at the campfire, Glimmer told us about the Sasquatch. It’s a primate that’s four ponies in height. Covered in brown fur and is camouflaged or invisible most of the time. It’s an omnivore that will eat anything, including us!
I think I will cherish these moments for the rest of my life and that Glimmer is going to be my best friend. The other day he said that I should tidy up my locker because we were going to have an inspection and sure enough, full inspection. Our Commander gave me a nod. Thanks, Glimmer.
Turns out the inspection was in preparation for a visit from the Commander of all the outposts in this area. You might have noticed I don’t use many names in my letters. We’ve been told not to for security reasons. Sorry, the Area Commander is a big pegasus with a brush cut mane and big jaw. His lieutenant is a griffin. Our commander unrolled a scroll and read the following:
From Princess Celestia herself.
My loving subjects,
It is with a heavy heart that I must call my warriors into action.
I know you are far from home in a strange land but you are crucial to stopping a changeling invasion. A northern swarm has emerged from its icy cave and has moved south in an attempt to conquer territory and feed off the love of the residents. Our own intelligence has informed us that the city of Richmane is their prize. They must be repelled, for I say ‘Let tyrants fear’.
My sisters and I have placed our strength and safeguards in the loyal hearts and love of our subjects.
I ask that you follow Princess Apricity as you would follow me. Please take the time to read her letter to her subjects.
Her Royal Majesty,
Princess Celestia
The Area Commander spoke, “You are hereby on high alert! All pegasi will fly no higher than tree-top height and not over exposed areas where they may be visible. Unicorns will use bright flashes of magic sparingly. The changelings will either probe this area before an attack or they will swarm over it. These distant northern outposts will be the silent eyes and ears of the Equestrian Guard. Your leaders have more detailed orders for you.
“This is the point where we would shout, ‘For Equestria and Celestia’, but from now on let’s say it together, quietly.”
“For Equestria and Celestia.”
Wow, that was excting. This is why we were posted here. Our officer’s gave us our orders. We are all to get to know each other even more. We are all divided into groups of three. And each one of us will get to know one other pony in another group. Our group will be known by clicking sounds. We each have a special click and my contact in the other group will know it and vice versa. And best of all I’m in a group with Glimmer and a girl I graduated with. Her name is Tail Dragger. That might get censored so I code name her ‘Third Wheel’. I’m sitting here writing this letter and I told her what I just wrote. She rolled her eyes. Ha ha.
We didn’t sleep well that night. The excitement and the pack of howling coyotes kept us up.
Love,
Hook Turn
/]*[\
The colourful ones sleep under big leaves or cocoons. They do not disturb the land.
Our hairless ape cousin burns and scrapes the land.
/]*[\
Dear Grandma:
The mood of the camp has changed a little. We are now professional Guards of Equestria, not campers. Someponies are a little edgier, but that’s good.
Great day for tree swerving, as I call it. We’re practicing flying through the forest at high speed and avoiding the tree trunks and branches. Sometimes we play leapfrog. The last pony must pass the other two and take the lead. It’s great fun and I’m good at it. Everything we do we do as a team. The sun shines through the tree canopy like sunbeams through a cloud. It’s a magical place.
Today’s briefing was on changelings. The Commander told us all he knew about them. Queen Volucris is the Queen of the Arctic Changelings.
“They are changelings, none the less. Shape-shifting insectoid ponies. Just as you were taught at the academy, they are locusts that feed on positive emotions like love. They have attacked outposts in an almost straight line towards Richmane. Their first attack was repelled, but they are still sending out scouts and probing for locations of outposts like this. We believe that the changelings will enslave the populated south and live off of the love that resides there. They are the same size and shape as the ones that attacked Canterlot. That is all the new intelligence I have. I will entertain questions.”
Glimmer is so smart. He asked lots of good questions.
“Are they black or white?”
Answer: “Both. We believe that as they come south they switch from white to black.”
“Do you know how many there are?”
Answer: “No. They swarmed Canterlot in black clouds. Again numbers can be deceiving.”
“What was it that repelled them?”
Answer: “The power of love. They feed on it but Princess Cadance and Shining Armor’s blast of love overwhelmed them. But we expect that they can adapt and learn. Changelings are masters of espionage.
“If any of you see a magical green smoky flash. Attack! Kick, fight, and lash out. They can’t morph if they’re wounded or exhausted. You see your reflection and you’re not looking in a mirror or pool, kick it!”
The camp fire is more subdued now. We can’t be so loud. We talk more. Glimmer brought up a good point. If we are supposed to give the changelings love and tolerance, why do we de-ponyise them? Calling them insect swarms. An older veteran said it always happens in war. It makes fighting the enemy easier if they are thought of as less than ourselves.
Love,
Hook Turn.
/]*[\
The colourful ones bring with them their own harm.
/]*[\
Dear Grandma:
Today I saw my first raven. The guide book said a raven is a big crow with a slightly different tail. Not this guy. He sat in a tree and gave me the one-eye stare. He has a black hooked beak, black, beady eyes and long, black, shimmering oily feathers. If I were to design an Everfree Forest crow, it would be him. I named him Screetcher.
Speaking of oily and shifty, the mule still makes his rounds. I keep my eye on him. I help unload his cart and count the supplies. He puts the empty crates and barrels back on himself. I almost fell over when I saw him pick up the outgoing mail. It’s not just our letters home, Grandma, but the correspondences to the Area Commander.
Glimmer filled me in on mules. If a pony and a donkey have a baby, the baby will be a mule. A mule can never have babies. In most places a pony can't marry a donkey and only a mule would marry a mule. I feel kind of naïve. I never learned that growing up in Cloudsdale.
The old mule stays overnight here, then heads off in the morning. He sits by the fire near us. I thought I would show him some tolerance and invite him to tell us about himself since we’re learning all we can from each other. His name is Gallipoli. He grew up west of here. His kinfolk tan the skins of animals to make leather products. Most of us pulled our ears back when he started talking, but when he said that, well, nopony has spoken to him since.
Hook Turn
Dear Grandma:
It’s supper time and I have the time to write. Let’s see, I’ll write what I see. I’m sitting at the table observing the line of ponies getting their grub. Commander Leading Edge stands in line like the rest of us. He doesn’t like to be treated differently. Oops, I wrote his name down. Well, save this letter Grandma, I want to see how they censored it.
It’s Red Tail’s unicorn squad turn to serve the food. He is the most un-camouflaged pony in the world. His fur is bright red with a yellow-blond mane and tail. I know right, blond tail, named Red Tail. His cutie mark is a firework, although he calls it a fire flower. I guess Yellow Tail may have sounded a little weak for a stallion. His best friend is Clover. He’s tan coloured with a scroll for a cutie mark. Clover is an expert at telekinetic rope tricks and often smiles at Tail Dragger.
Glimmer is schmoozing with the ponies in line. We’re supposed to learn all we can from each other and he’s a master. Glimmer will often give away his treats for a chance to hear a story. I don’t think he likes the food as much as I do. He says he prefers the creek water over the tea but tea is safer because it is boiled. I don’t think you would like the tea here either, Grandma. It’s brewed in a big vat. Not in little tea pots.
Leading Edge is swearing at Screecher because he can’t get a moment’s peace and quiet. He follows the Commander everywhere. Screecher thinks he is Leading Edge’s pet. We’re all tired of his noise. At least he shuts up during nap time. I have learned words I could never say in Cloudsdale.
Love,
Hook Turn
/]*[\
The colourful ones are friendship and kindness and love and harmony.
What kind of a creature would spoil such beauty?
/]*[\
Dear Grandma:
You’re the hero of the day. The package of cookies arrived. There were enough for everypony. They were like currency. Tail Dragger got one from her secret admirer. More on that later. It’s very hard to keep secrets when we’re all so close. You would be proud of me, Grandma. I gave a cookie to the Mule. He refused at first, and then took it. I still watched him eat it.
Love,
Hook Turn
Grandma:
I’ve kinda lost track of time here. I have no idea what day of the week it is but it doesn’t matter. Low clouds, light rain and humidity. It’s not good for moral. It makes us grumpy ponies. Tail Dragger looks so miserable. There is nothing gloomier than a wet pegasus. The earth ponies seem obsessed with keeping dry themselves. They are always checking their fur. And we’re reminded to preen our feathers often. Most unicorns can make telekinetic shield umbrellas and or make a hot dry puff of air to dry off.
Hook Turn
/]*[\
The colourful ones work with the land. They are of the land and the sky. They do not damage it.
Yet, they pollute their own thoughts.
/]*[\
Grandma:
I hate the fog. At first it was like a cloud had settled on us in the morning. It would burn off and we could fly. Lately it lasts all day. It's wet. It makes everything wet. We must groom and dry everything we have.
Let me tell you Glimmer’s story. He grew up on a gem farm near the Crystal Empire. He had a strict upbringing. As I have said, he is very intelligent. He thought joining the Equestrian Guard would be a good way to get away from that life and see the world. His only fault is he can be a tad lazy. And if I super nit-pick, the only rule he has ever bent is the ‘take all you can eat but eat all that you take’ rule. He always puts the food back that he doesn’t eat or gives the good morsels to his friends. I should be more positive when talking about my best friend. We’re all getting jittery.
Sleep has become problematic. There are always mosquitos in the tent. The unicorns use their magic to push them out but they always miss a few. They love to buzz my ears. The mosquitos, not unicorns.
One unicorn uses a spell to wake herself just before dawn. Then she starts a chain reaction of waking every pony quietly. We hear predators every night, coyotes, wolves and unknown creatures walking by our tent wall. We just fall asleep near morning and the Sasquatch screams.
We live for nap time. I collapse in my moss nest and flop my tail over my nose. As I closed my eyes today, I swear I saw a face in a tree trunk looking back at me. I dreamt of a line in a story you once read to me.
"You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you…"
Hook Turn
/]*[\
I smiled at one of the colourful ones today breaking my own rule about remaining unseen. He soon fell asleep. Our strategy remains intact. They will need help when the time comes.
The one that does not belong is hurting them and they don’t deserve it.
/]*[\
Grandma:
Fog, then low cloud. We're grounded again. But on patrol. We stomp through the forest like earth ponies. We see some deer. I talk to them but they don't answer.
Worse news. A squad of unicorns returned, missing a team member. We all searched. A team found her. The unicorn medics brought her back to camp. A changeling got her. She was just a husk. Her skin was drawn tight and shrivelled. All she could do was move her eyes. The medics and the commander insisted we give her as much love as we could. I am a terrible pony. I went through the motions of hugging her but she was so ugly. Forgive me, Grandma; forgive me, Celestia. I had no love to give her. I buried my face in the moss and cried myself to sleep. I hate what I have become.
Hook Turn
G:
Boredom is our new enemy. The fog is a weight on us.
I wonder: what are The Heroes of Equestria doing right now? I worry about Fluttershy but I imagine that Rainbow Dash will be at her side. I hope. They were two classes ahead of me in Cloudsdale. But still I wonder and worry. Please give their families our best wishes.
I know you and mother thought my armour was gold, like the Royal Guard. It’s brass. We polish it to a golden hue. We used to. Now we let it tarnish so it doesn’t reflect light and give our position away. But I polish my spear blades with fine stones to a razor’s edge. Not a speck of rust on my weapons.
The damp air has given us feather blight. We preen as often as possible, but it's not healing. The earth ponies have mange. The unicorns, well nothing is bothering them. We want mosquito nets because they aren’t getting the bugs out of the tent at night. We can't sleep. One night we were kept awake because of one pony's teeth chattering.
The food is monotonous.
I hate it here, Grandma. My perfect feathers are splitting. Every pony suspects the other of being a changeling spy.
The Mule’s cart now contains a locked box. When he arrives, the commander comes and unlocks it and takes another locked box into the command tent. He takes out the correspondences and mail and puts in the outgoing mail. The commander talks to the Mule in private for a few minutes. We assume to check passwords. It still doesn’t seem all that secure to the rest of us.
H.T.
/]*[\
The harmony of the colourful ones is shattered.
The one that does not belong has stolen their love.
/]*[\
G:
We snap at each other. ‘Who's your third cousin?’ ‘Who won last year’s egg caring game at your kid’s picnic?’ We know everything about every pony and we test all the time. All is suspicion.
I must sit in the middle of the compound to write my letters. Nothing hidden. Every pony walks by and looks. No secrets. Wet paper.
Tail Dragger stays close to me. She stutters when she’s nervous, and she’s afraid that she might make a sound or a hiss like a changeling and get attacked. Even though we don’t know what a changeling sounds like.
Speculation: Unicorns have medicine and spells to stop the mange and feather damage. Perhaps they are having problems with their magic and are saving it for emergencies or the officers. We are forgotten.
Our threesome (squad) talking to a unicorn squad:
“How easy is it for a unicorn to change colour?”
“I’m not a changeling, Glimmer. Get lost!”
“I didn’t imply that you were. Is there a colour-changing spell?”
“If there was a spell, I would have to learn it first, then practice it. Probably one colour first then maybe two, then three colours. Why?”
“I was just thinking. If changelings can easily transform, then it would be very easy for them to change colour.”
“What of it?”
“They could make themselves sky blue and fly right over us without our detection or at night make themselves black and invisible. Maybe when they fly over, they block the stars for a second and all we see is a star twinkle.”
We all looked up.
“We have some questions for you pegasi, as well. If a weather pegasus can easily push a cloud, and a flock of them can push a weather system over a drought. Then it should be real easy for a swarm of changelings to push a fog bank right over us. Swarms of changelings could fly right over us every time it’s foggy or cloudy. Right?”
Our morale is down the latrine.
H.T.
We’re finishing lunch. I can’t wait to nap. To collapse into oblivion as some say. Our only escape from this dull, damp, mouldy misery.
Tail Dragger eats slowly and quietly. Tomorrow is our turn to stand guard during coma time. It’s very difficult to stay awake during this period when we can’t sleep at night. Some have fallen asleep on guard. Our biggest dishonour. We all fear it, but it is somewhat forgivable because we are all sick and exhausted.
Glimmer gets up and walks away to talk to somepony. He left his plate for me to take back. He didn’t eat his food. He never did. He never ever did! He would put it back, or he gave it away, or he left it for me to return. I finally realize who he is. And I realize I just lost my best friend. Grandma, I am Equestria’s biggest fool. I can’t write anymore, my eyes are burning.
* * *
Hook Turn sets his pencil down and stands. He picks up a plate of food and throws it at a tree. The food falls off in flight. The wooden plate breaks on the tree.
Everypony turns to look.
“Glimmer! Why did it have to be you!?”
A blue white pegasus looks back over his shoulder, “What?”
“I said, I challenge you!”
“He he. Go ahead. There is no question I can’t answer. I know everyponies’ favourite food, sports team and relative they have ever mentioned.
“You there, Pinto, everypony in your family is named after a bean plant or a bean recipe. Clover, you have a crush on Tail Dragger and your clan uses names of ancient heroes.”
“My question is: why can’t you eat? Why can’t you eat our food?”
“You all have seen me eat. So what? Listen to what you are saying. I thought you were smarter than that, Hook Turn. I know the where, when, and why each of you got your cutie mark.”
Hook Turn kicks an apple to Glimmer. “Please eat the apple so we can go back to being best friends.”
“That’s it? That’s all? Okay then.”
Glimmer picks up the apple with his teeth and bits into it. He sucks it dry. The apple shrivels and turns brown. Glimmer spits out the husk.
“There! I drained it of its nutrition. Just as I’ve been doing to you. You stupid talking food!
Hook Turn, did you thank your Grandma for those cookies I hawked into the forest? Thanks for showing me her picture.”
A flash of smoky white light washes up over Glimmer and an elderly female pegasus appears.
“We are more than shape shifters. Let me sing you a lullaby.” The old pegasus howls like a wolf then yipps like a coyote. “Or, your favourite Hook Turn.” She whines like a mosquito, “Buzz, buzzzzz, zzzzzzzz.”
Hook Turn squeezes his eyes shut. “Sorry, Grandma. Sorry, Grandma. Sorry, Grandma.” He walks forward and head butts the elderly pegasus.
“How dare you! Is that all you got?”
The old Mule advances. Bobbing his head, grinning.
“Look at this dim-witted thing! Too stupid for even a pony to believe that he could be the conspirator,” Glimmer chuckles.
The Mule bows his head and sighs. He crosses one foreleg over the other to turn away. Gallipoli pivots on that forehoof, twisting his body around swinging his hips forward kicking the old pegasus across the face with each back hoof. When he lands, Gallipoli gives Glimmer one more forehoof across the face.
“Deception!” Glimmer staggers as he wipes the blood from his mouth. “Where did you learn such a technique, motherless one?”
“Training!” The Mule stands up straight and tall. “Royal Guard training, bug face! I’ve been waiting a long time to do that. Now show us your true self.”
“Very well. Behold the form of your new masters!”
Another white flash and an Arctic Changeling appears. Off white with blue at the edges. An icy blue mane and jagged tail. Its horn is a twisted broken icicle. Translucent insect wings with veins like cracks on a frozen pond. Glimmer jumps into the air. Three pegasi intercept him and knocks him back to the ground. Glimmer lands on his side breaking his wing. A pegasus follows Glimmer down and crushes his other wing. The platoon surrounds the changeling and glares down at him.
“Foolish gullible food. I am Gríma the Grimmer or Grimmer the Gríma in your backwards language. I am superior, even for a changeling. And a changeling is as an alicorn god to you!”
The arctic changelings’ wings mend, straighten and turn leathery. His head lengthens with hard ridges as his mouth fills with fangs. Grimmer’s skin becomes scaly with overlapping shards of black ice. His tail lengthens as a serpent’s with a sharp glass blade at the tip.
The dragon roars flames into the sky.
Gallipoli yells, “Harry, beat out the fire!”
A shaggy brown arm appears and reaches out from a tree. A big primate hand grips the dragon’s throat. The dragon reacts by grabbing the arm with its claws and whips its tail at the tree. The bark shimmers and a face and body appear in front of the tree. It hammers the dragon against the ground then strikes its head on the tree again and again.
The dragon goes limp. “What the buck is that?”
“Oh, Arctic Changelings don’t know about Sasquatch?” Gallipoli answers. “You said you did. You’re so full of manure.”
The dragon shrinks back into a white changeling. It retreats into itself then shoots into the air.
“Harry, throw!”
Gallipoli jumps into the Sasquatch’s hands and is thrown straight up. He grips the changeling’s back leg and smiles. The changeling is taken by surprise by the sudden weight and can’t fly. They fall out of the sky together. Harry catches Gallipoli and lets the changeling hit the ground hard.
“You will all suffer unspeakable pain. We planned a paradise for you. To corral you in your beautiful cities. You will be our livestock. We trade your misery with the Windigo.
Clover’s horn glows as he uses his magic to pull a poison ivy vine from a bush and wraps it around the changeling’s mouth tying him up. “Anypony not heard enough from this guy?”
Commander Leading Edge steppes forward. “Gallipoli, are there any more?”
Harry cradles the mule in his arms. The Sasquatch looks sideways up into the branches.
An oily feathered raven screeches and takes flight.
Leading Edge yells, “Capture that thing at all costs, but don’t touch it!”
Hook Turn grabs Clover and flies after the bird. They return a moment later with the black bird in a magic net.
The commander smiles, “Well done everypony. I am so glad to be rid of that greasy changeling familiar following me everywhere, even the latrine.
“As for you changeling, we were going to end your charade tomorrow but it seems a rookie saw through your manure.”
The changeling struggles to talk.
“I want them muzzled and in magic ropes at all times. I don’t want any more metamorphosing in my platoon.
“Everypony say hello to my old dear friend Gallipoli and his friend, Harry.”
The Sasquatch puts the mule down and starts petting all the ponies he can reach. Harry picks up an earth pony and hugs her.
Leading Edge yells, “We're bugging out! Pack your kit were marching to Richmane. Do not polish anything we're returning battle hardened with a trophy. We are going on leave!”
The herd cheers.
The earth pony in Harry’s arms absentmindedly bites at a patch of mange. The Sasquatch cups the ponies head in his giant hands. Harry stops smiling and shakes his head at her.
“Everypony listen up! Earth ponies do not have mange. There is no feather blight. Unicorns don’t have dysentery! These are all poisonous seeds bug boy planted in our heads to make us sick and weak. I knew he was lying to my face about it and I still got the trots. That’s how persuasive he was. Everypony will stop over grooming and worrying immediately! I am buying the first round at the tavern and Gallipoli is buying the next two! Now I want to hear some singing as we march.”
Hook Turn walks with the mule as he pulls his cart.
“Mr. Gallipoli sir. Why does the Sasquatch scream in the early morning?”
“He doesn't. I do. I'm older than I look. Yes that's possible. I've been around for a very long time. I've seen too much. Princess Luna was working with me on my issues and nightmares when I was recalled. We’ve all have been on high alert for far too long. It's not healthy for a pony.”
“The officers knew about Glimmer?”
“Just Leading Edge and myself. Harry told me in his way. We were feeding Glimmer disinformation to send back to the changelings using that greasy bird of his. We allowed the changeling spy read the false correspondences during siesta. We let him think he had full run of the camp after lunch. Our little ploy on him. Glimmer was making the platoon sick. We were going to end it tomorrow but you saw through it. Good lad. It may have worked out better. We didn't foresee that dragon trickery. Harry also made it known to me that he wants one of your grandmother's cookies in a big way. You'd better make it happen, lad.”
* * *
Dear Grandma:
It's me. I'm back. I am myself. And I couldn't be happier. I'm up for a commendation or even a medal but I don't care because I'm happy again and that's the most important thing in life.
Glimmer or Gríma had the utmost contempt for us. It was the only way he could do his job. Some changelings have defected and come to our side. Gríma couldn't do that. He was too dedicated. They say it’s easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend. I miss my friend though.
We all had to write reports. They were very impressed with my writing skill. The specialists said it kept me centred.
I'm going back with my platoon. Back to our forest clearing and my new friend, Harry.
Screw the Wonderbolts and their tacky uniforms.
Thank you for the gift of this writing set that I am using right now.
Love always,
Hook Turn.
Hook, 1991. TriStar Pictures.
