Princess Rainbow Dash, or An Alternate Ending to How Rainbow Dash Got Her Cutie Mark

Chapters

How It Happened
Breaking the News...and Blueblood's Ego
Friendship is Magic...also, Princesses aren't Wonderbolts
Blueblood's Greatest Freakout Ever/The Ticket Masters
House Hunting, Pranking, and Griffons...oh my!
When there's something Great in your NEIGHborhood...
The Chapter with a lot of Acronyms (TCwaloA)
Alicorn Princess Slumber Party! Hurrah!
Rainbow's First Stalker
Rainbow Dash Discovers her Catchphrase
Diplomacy is Magic: Hostage Negotiations
Rainbow Dash: Princess of Pet Problems
That's So Rainbow! ...and Pinkie, too.
Sonic Raindoom: Best Name Author Could Come Up With. Pretty clever, right...? No...? ...yeah, she didn't think so.

How It Happened

Princess Rainbow Dash

Celestia's sun burned in the afternoon sky. Several Pegasus fillies and colts stood on clouds above Ponyville. Rainbow Dash stood at the starting line with two colts: Hoops and Dumb-Bell. They had picked on her friend Fluttershy for the last time, and she challenged them to a race. She glanced one last time at her competition and licked the sweat from her brow. “You’re going down!” Hoops smirked.

“In history, maybe!” Rainbow shot back. “See you boys at the finish line!” Fluttershy waved the starting flag, and the three racers were off! The speed of the three fliers knocked Fluttershy off of her cloud and sent her falling to the ground, screaming, but no one seemed to notice.

Rainbow and Hoops cleared the first section of the race without any problems, but Dumb-Bell swerved off the path and crashed into a cloud pillar.
She had never flown like this before! And she loved every moment of it: the speed, the adrenaline, the wind in her rainbow mane...what was there to NOT love? She gathered speed, zipping through the cloud rings of the race. There was a wide grin on her face, which was knocked off when Hoops knocked her off of the track.

“Haha! Later, Rainbow Crash!” He taunted before he flew to the next checkpoint in the race.

“Hey!” Rainbow protested. She gathered up more wing power and dashed down after him. She was so fast that she ended up blowing him away! But Rainbow didn’t notice. Her eyes were watering. She could barely hear anything, and there was an intense pressure building up around her, inside of her. As she flew through the cloud ring, all of these symptoms cleared, but Rainbow felt like her head was on fire. She looked behind her and saw that a rainbow was forming, following her up from the ground and towards the sky. Rainbow knew that whatever was happening to her was amazing and awesome, but her mind was mostly focused on the race. She flew over the finish line, but she didn’t stop there, not even when she heard the cheers of fillies and colts. She kept flying, forming a complete rainbow that ended at the ground. As the rainbow faded, she landed on a patch of grass and puffed her chest out with pride. As her heart slowed, her eyes began to water again. When she shut her eyes to blink, all she saw was a flash of white light...then everything faded.

When she opened her eyes again, she was in a realm of nothingness. There were blue and white light orbs for as far as the eye could see, and there was a strange feeling of peace within her, but Rainbow still felt apprehensive. “Where am I? Uh, hello? Anypony here?” Rainbow called out. Her voice echoed back in response, and Rainbow groaned. “Great. How am I going to get out of here?” She squinted her eyes. The world around her seemed to be foggy...no, misty. And there was something emerging from the mist. Was it another pony? No, it was too tall to be a regular pony...but as the being moved into plain sight, Rainbow realized it was--

“Princess Celestia!” The Pegasus filly gasped as she dropped into a bow, her wings spread at her sides. “What’s going on?” The Princess smiled.

"This is an astral plane. Only a few ponies apart from myself have been here before, and all of them have been special and gone down in history as being such. So, you must have been doing something special in order to enter this realm,” she concluded. Can you tell me what you were doing before you came here, little one?" The Princess asked in a gentle voice.

"My name is Rainbow Dash, and I’m a camper at the Cloudsdale Flight Camp. Today we were having a competition!” She gasped. “The race...I think I won!" Rainbow flew up and pumped her hoof in the air. "I think I beat those guys!" She landed on the translucent, possibly nonexistent ground and tilted her head to the side. “But...is that all I had to do to get here? Win a race? What’s the big deal? Aside from saving my friend Fluttershy’s honor, I mean.”

“Tell me more about this race.” The two ponies began to walk along the starry path together. Rainbow chattered most of the time about what had happened.

“...so, when I looked behind me, I could see that there was a rainbow forming...but it was sort of a part of me, too, like my mane was creating it as I flew up! Then I landed on the ground, and there was this bright flash, and...well, here I am! So what happened?”

“Hmm…” The Princess placed a hoof to her chin in thought. “Tell me, Rainbow Dash, have you ever heard the story of the Sonic Rainboom?”

“That’s just an old mare’s tale.”

“No,” Celestia corrected. “The Sonic Rainboom is the stuff of legend, something said to be impossible. And today, you made the impossible happen. And that is why you are here.”

“But, what happens once ponies end up here? What does it really mean?”

“It means that it’s time for them to fulfill their destinies.” As the Princess said this, a cyan cloud of light shot out of Rainbow’s chest and began to swirl around her, gradually gathering size. As it did, she felt herself being lifted into the air. There was another bright flash, and everything faded...again…

As this happened, another bright light appeared in the sunny sky over the Cloudsdale Flight Camp. It lowered itself to a cloud, and when it faded, Rainbow Dash stood in its place, her back to her friends.

“...I guess you won, Rainbow Dash,” Dumb-Bell spoke, kicking his hoof at a cloud puff. “But where did you go?”

Rainbow Dash turned to face her peers. As she did, they all got a clear view of her brand-new Unicorn horn. Everypony gasped.

"Uh, Rainbow Dash, there's something on your face!" Hoops announced.

“Is it my awesomeness?” Rainbow boasted, touching her hoof to her face. Much to her surprise, she felt a Unicorn horn there. “What the…?”

“You’re a Pegacorn!” Dumb-Bell said.

“They’re called ALICORNS,” Rainbow Dash corrected. “And...don’t get me wrong, this is awesome and all, but...how did it happen?”

“You look just like a princess!” Fluttershy commented. She had flown back up to the camp grounds, and now stood in admiration and awe of Rainbow Dash with her fellow camp members.

“That’s because she is a princess,” a serene voice announced. Everypony gasped as the Sun Goddess appeared. Rainbow Dash’s mouth fell open.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hang on a second! I can’t be a princess!” Celestia opened her mouth to say something, but then a watch beeped from...somewhere. The Sun Goddess gasped.

“Oh, no, I forgot to be at the exam for potential new students! I’ll be back...later,” she promised Rainbow Dash before she teleported away in a bright light.

“Wait, don’t go, I have to ask you--” Rainbow Dash’s voice trailed off when she realized that the mare was gone. She touched her new horn with one hoof. “Well, buck me in the key hole…I’m an Alicorn.”

Half an hour passed before anyone pointed out that she had also gotten her cutie mark.

Author's Note

This is just a random idea I've been toying with for a while. Don't worry, there's more to come! The next chapter will focus on how Rainbow Dash's childhood would have been different because of her royalty, and then we'll get into the show's story with the Elements of Harmony!

Breaking the News...and Blueblood's Ego

Princess Rainbow Dash

Rainbow Dash stood outside her living room, biting her lip and dragging her hoof in a circle. "I don't understand why you're so nervous," Princess Celestia sighed, placing her hoof on Rainbow's shoulder. "Isn't it every filly's dream to one day wear a tiara and be the envy of other little fillies everywhere?"

"...nope. I want to be a Wonderbolt!" Rainbow replied. She sneaked a peek into the room. Her father, Rainbow Blaze, was drinking a glass of cider, imported from Sweet Apple Acres. Rainbow sighed. "Well, I have to tell him at some point, so here goes nothing." She took a deep breath, walked into the center of the room, cleared her throat, and announced with careful deliberation:

"Hey Dad, I'm an Alicorn."

Rainbow Blaze looked at his daughter and choked on his cider. "Holy buck!!" He gasped between coughs. "H-how did this happen? Who did this to you? When were you planning on telling me about this?" He gasped. "Your mother...I always suspected that she had a thing for Unicorns...but never THIS!" He got to his hooves and began to pace. "Oh, the things I'll say to her the next time I see her at court-ordered therapy..."

"I love you too, Dad," Rainbow said. She rolled her eyes, left the room, and looked up at Princess Celestia. "Whaddya think?"

"See, I told you that he'd take it well," Celestia said. "Of course, it probably would have helped if you were an orphan, like that last Pegasus filly I made an Alicorn..."

"Wait, WHAT? I'm not the first to become an Alicorn and a princess?" Rainbow gaped. Celestia laughed.

"Of course not! A filly a few years older than you entered the astral plane last week! I've taken the liberty of scheduling a dual coronation ceremony tomorrow!"

"TOMORROW?" Rainbow's eyes widened. "Who is this other Alicorn, anyway? Is she just as awesome as me?"

"Of course she is," Princess Celestia smiled. (Rainbow was starting to wonder if this pony ever frowned.) "Her name is Princess Mi Amore Cadenza."

Her name was Mi Amore Cadenza.

Every time Rainbow heard that name, she wanted to punch the parents of this filly. But then she'd remember that Cadance was an orphan and feel guilty for wanting to punish her dead parents. Mi Amore Cadenza (mental punch) was a pretty teenage filly with pink hair, a pink coat, purple and white hair streaks, and a heart-shaped cutie mark. Rainbow mentally gagged at how girly this pony was. She was NOT as awesome as she thought that she would be. "Soooooo...how'd you become an Alicorn, anyway?" Rainbow asked her.

"I defeated a villain named Prismia."

"SWEET! How'd you do it?" Rainbow flashed a toothy grin, excited to hear more.

"With the power of Love. See, Prismia had this necklace that corrupted her, but for some reason it amplified my love and freed her from the necklace. Then I was taken to the astral plane."

"...cool!" Rainbow Dash said through her toothy smile, although it was no longer genuine. DEFINITELY not as awesome as she thought she'd be.

"Come now, we need to get you both into your coronation dresses!" The stylist mused. Both Rainbow and Cadance were forced into itchy, uncomfortable blue gowns. Cadance looked lovely in her attire, but Rainbow looked and felt foolish. But she completely forgot about that when she and Cadance were lined up outside of the grand hall. Princess Celestia was making a speech about Cadance and her accomplishments. Then she'd make one for Rainbow Dash, and the two new Alicorns would walk in together and be crowned.

"The Princess Rainbow Dash and Princess Mi Amore Cadenza cometh, behold, behold..." The choir sounded rather tired...of course, they only had a day to practice the same song with a ridiculous amount of lyrics! Rainbow Dash wanted to shoot them a look of sympathy, but she concentrated only on walking down the aisle, Princess Celestia stood waiting. A golden crown with a ruby shaped like Rainbow Dash's cutie mark was placed on her head, and then she turned to face the crowd of onlookers. All of the ponies gathered were older than her. As she stared into their faces, Rainbow Dash realized that her whole life was going to change forever. She would never go back to the Junior Speedsters flight camp. She and her father would probably be forced out of their old house in Cloudsdale so that they could live in Canterlot. And this is why she looked up at Princess Celestia and beamed.

"This is the best day of my whole life!"

"So then I said to him, 'In history, maybe!'" Rainbow Dash finished. Cadance broke out in another set of giggles again. After the coronation ceremony, the two fillies had a few moments to play together and get to know each other. Cadance was girly, sure, but Rainbow liked her sense of humor and her own share of adventures. She'd grown up in an Earth pony village and had never met any Pegasus ponies until a few days ago.

"Can you believe I've never been to Cloudsdale?" Cadance said, wiping a tear from her eye. "It sounds incredible!"

Rainbow's mouth fell open. "You've never been to Cloudsdale? Oh my gosh, that has to change...TOMORROW! Tomorrow you and I will go to Cloudsdale and I'll show you everything! The weather factory, the Wonderbolts arena...it'll be TOTALLY AWESOME!"

"Oh, yes, 'totally awesome', I'm sure," a male voice drawled. Cadance and Rainbow Dash jumped and looked for the source. A white Unicorn colt, maybe about Cadance's age, stepped out of the shadows and faced the two new princesses. Rainbow examined him. She didn't like this guy. She didn't like his perfectly-shampooed blond mane, his look of arrogance...

"Who the hay are you?" Rainbow demanded. The white Unicorn's lip curled up in a sneer.

"I'll have you know that you are addressing Crown Prince Blueblood, the great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great--"

"What's so great about you?" Rainbow cracked. Cadance tried to hide her own laughter with her hoof. Blueblood raised an eyebrow.

...cousin of Princess Celestia."

"So where's your wings?" Rainbow asked. "How come you're not an Alicorn?"

"Because I was born into royalty, not created an Alicorn!"

"...jealous much?" Rainbow taunted with a sly grin. Blueblood's face became as red as...well, blood!

"I am not jealous!" He harrumphed. "One day I shall have wings of my own, wings that are bigger than yours, wings that are just like Auntie Celestia's! Then we'll see who is jealous of who!"

"Will we?" Rainbow's smirk increased in size. "That'll be fun. Maybe I'll be the one to give you flying lessons!" Blueblood growled in anger, then Princess Cadance stepped between the two.

"Let's try to get along," she suggested, the hint of a plea in her voice. "We'll be seeing a lot of each other from now on. Let's try not to get off on the wrong hoof."

"And what are YOU so smiley about?" Blueblood growled. "Careful, or I'll wipe that smile off your face!"

"Hey!" Rainbow cried. "You don't talk to my friend like that!"

"Commoner!"

"Snob!"

"What is going on here?" The three foals stiffened and turned to face Princess Celestia, who was standing in the doorway. Prince Blueblood sniveled and ran to her.

"These new fillies made fun of me because I don't have wings!"

"What? No, we didn't!" Rainbow Dash insisted. "He insulted us both! He started it!'

"I want to see them punished!" Blueblood whined. "They shouldn't have dessert at the banquet tonight!" A sly look appeared in his eye. "We wouldn't want them to go down in Equestrian history as the first FAT princesses of Canterlot, anyway!"

"WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? C'mere and say that to my face, you coward!" Rainbow challenged, flaring her wings. A spark came from the tip of her horn, but she had no idea what magic she possessed at that moment.

"Children, please," Celestia sighed. She turned to Blueblood. "We've discussed this already. Alicorns don't get fat. We're too busy being flawless. I know that this fact upsets you because you swell up like a little angry marshmallow whenever you look at a donut...and let's face it, you have been doing some looking lately." Blueblood's eye twitched and he slowly backed out of the room. Celestia watched him. "Oh dear, did I say something to upset him? He's so sensitive." She turned to the two new Alicorns. "I'd like to introduce you both to my new student, Twilight Sparkle." A small lavender Unicorn filly about Rainbow's age appeared from behind the tall Alicorn, gazing at the other two princesses with wonder. "Twilight needs a new foal sitter, and I was wondering if you, Princess Cadance, would be interested in that position for the present."

"I'd be happy to," Princess Cadance said with a smile. "When do I start?"

"Right now," Celestia replied. "Twilight will be spending more of her time here in the castle, so I thought that maybe you could explore it with her." Cadance nodded and left the room. Twilight started to follow her, but then Rainbow Dash zipped up to her side.

"Hey, what's this book?" The cyan filly yanked the book from Twilight's saddlebag. "Understanding Medieval Equestria...you really ARE an egghead, aren't you?"

"Hmm!" Twilight used her magic to get her book back. "Reading is fun. You should try it sometime. I personally recommend Modern Spellcasting for starters!"

"Are you coming, Twily?" Cadance called. The Unicorn hurried after her new foalsitter, and Rainbow finally had a chance to get some of her questions answered.

"Will I be living here from now on?"

"For the most part, yes," Celestia answered. "But you are not tied to Canterlot. You are free to come and go as you please! ...except for the dangerous parts of Equestria. Princesses aren't allowed to go there. Not even me!" She laughed to herself. "Anyway, there is time before the royal banquet. I must attend to my own duties, but you are free to explore if you wish." She trotted out of the room...giving Rainbow Dash the perfect opportunity to break out into a song!

"Life in Equestria shimmers, life in Equestria shines, and I know for absolute certain...that nothing can possibly ruin my parade!" Rainbow paused and let out an uncharacteristic squee. "I'll be the first princess to become a Wonderbolt! It's not like there are any rules about royalty not being able to join sports teams, right?"

Princess Celestia sat in her empty throne room and thought of the double coronation. "Two new princesses," she mused. "Two replacements for Luna..." Her eyes filled with tears. "...so why does the hole in my heart still feel empty...like it can never be filled until she returns...?" Her lip quivered. She would have burst into tears, but then a potential solution came to her. "CAKE BINGE!" She clapped her hooves together. Within minutes, a selection of the finest cakes in Equestria was brought to her side. It's a good thing Alicorns don't get fat, she thought as she nommed on a slice of chocolate cake...

Author's Note

Okay, just want to get this out of the way: in my headcanon, Celestia and Luna are the only immortal Alicorns because they were the only natural-born Alicorns (that we know of for now). Yes, for those of you who don't know, Cadance was born a Pegasus and became an Alicorn later. This is stated in Twilight Sparkle and the Crystal Heart Spell and was confirmed by Amy Keating Rogers...soooo....yeah! :rainbowlaugh:

Ohmygosh, you guys, thank you all SO MUCH for the likes and favorites and encouragement! *tacklehugs everyone* You guys rock!

This chapter was so much fun to write because I don't think Rainbow and Cadance have had any real interaction on their own. (Not even the Imposter Cadance met Rainbow Dash...) And we all know that Blueblood and Rainbow Dash NEVER spoke to each other once, so I just thought, "Hey, what the heck, let's see what they would have said to each other as kids!"

Friendship is Magic...also, Princesses aren't Wonderbolts

Princess Rainbow Dash

The years passed. Cadance flourished as a princess, having found a place where she felt loved. She mastered her own magic, found a coltfriend, and became best friends with a pony super model, Fleur-Dis-Lee. Rainbow Dash, on the other hoof, became miserable when she was told that members of royalty could not, in fact, become Wonderbolts. She became bitter whenever she was asked by Princess Celestia to perform a Sonic Rainboom. What was the point of it all? Who was she trying to impress anymore? Ponies looked up to her for her feats, but the ponies she had wanted to notice her now noticed her for the wrong reasons.

She only felt comfortable sharing this problem with two ponies: Princess Cadance and Twilight Sparkle. Cadance had never dreamed of anything as big as joining the Wonderbolts, but she understood what Rainbow felt. "We just need to accept that this is our life now," she once said to the cyan mare.

"But why do I still feel like that there's more I can be doing? More that I'm capable of doing? That there's something more outside of Canterlot and the fancy-shmancy royal things?"

"UH DUH, we're princesses! All princesses feel like that! The only way to get rid of that feeling is with a husband! ...unless you're Celestia."

"...thanks, Candy."

Twilight, meanwhile, was more sympathetic, but not as understanding. She wasn't a princess. "Things could always be worse," she said.

"How?" Rainbow Dash demanded.

"You could be Prince Blueblood."

There was ONE good thing about being Prince Blueblood: he could spend his days lounging around and doing nothing. No one liked him, so no one asked for him to make any public appearances. Rainbow Dash and Cadance were incredibly popular and made public appearances with Celestia all the time. Rainbow Dash was required to perform a Sonic Rainboom at almost every fancy event, including the Summer Sun Celebration. "It's always nice to start off the longest day of the year with a bang," Celestia told Rainbow Dash during her first Summer Sun Celebration.

Every year, the celebration was held in a new location. During Rainbow's first year as a princess, it was held in Manehatten. The year after that was in Fillydelphia. This year it was in Ponyville, a small town where mostly Earth ponies lived. Rainbow Dash decided to fly there the day before the celebration. Before she left, she thought she'd drop by Twilight Sparkle's apartment and ask her and her pet dragon, Spike, if they would be at the celebration...but when she arrived...

"It's imperative that the princess must be told right away! She'll respond as soon as possible. In all the years she's been my mentor she's never once doubted me." The lavender Unicorn was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't even notice the cyan Alicorn hovering outside of her apartment window.

Spike belched and began reading the newest letter from the princess. Rainbow Dash always thought it was awesome that Spike could send letters through his breath and burp out notes from the princess at a moment's notice. "'You must stop reading those dusty old books! I'm sending you to supervise the preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration in Ponyville. I have an even more essential task for you to complete: make some friends!'"

Rainbow left before Twilight could have a panic attack. As she flew, she thought to herself. Why can't Cadance ever have a role in the celebration? Is it because I'm more awesome than her? Well, yeah, duh, that's obvious, but she needs to do SOMETHING aside from smile and wave from time to time...she isn't Twilight's foal sitter anymore...

Rainbow Dash was settling in for a nice nap on a cloud when Twilight and Spike arrived. "Ugh, I ate too much pie," Twilight grumbled as they walked.

"Pie? Where was the pie?! I want some pie!" Rainbow poked her head through the cloud and stared at her.

"Princess Rainbow Dash!" Twilight gasped, dropping into a bow. The cyan mare sighed.

"Don't call me that, please," she mumbled. "My name is Rainbow Dash!"

"Princess Celestia didn't tell me that you would be in Ponyville! What are you doing here...um, may I ask?"

"I'm supposed to do a Sonic Rainboom when Princess Celestia raises the sun."

"You don't sound too excited about it..."

Rainbow sighed. "I know. I have to perform a Rainboom at pretty much EVERY fancy get-together...except for the Grand Galloping Gala, Nightmare Night, Hearth's Warming Eve...what's the point of all of this if I can't be a Wonderbolt?" She sighed again. "Anyway, I figured that I would make myself useful before tomorrow and clear the weather today."

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Not unless you can make me a Pegasus again. Or change the rules of the Wonderbolts." Rainbow saw that Twilight was uncomfortable, so she flew down and gave the Unicorn a gentle hug. "Twi, you're one of my ONLY friends, and I love ya. You've done a lot for me already."

"Like what?" Twilight grinned.

"Remember that one time I tricked Blueblood into going to a petting zoo?" Twilight laughed. "You totally saved my flank that day," Rainbow continued. "I owe ya one!"

"Thanks, Rainbow Dash," Twilight smiled. "I better get to my other jobs. I'll see you later!" She started to trot away.

"Wait!" Rainbow called after her. Twilight stopped and looked at her. "I kinda knew you were going to be in Ponyville today. I dropped by your home today to ask if you wanted to go to Moondancer's party, but you were having another episode."

Twilight blushed. "So...you heard what Princess Celestia said I should do..." Rainbow nodded. "Great..." Twilight sighed.

"My lips are zipped!" Rainbow Dash promised, making a zipping motion across her face.

"Do you PINKIE PROMISE?" A high-pitched voice asked. A pink pony's head popped out of a nearby flower pot. Rainbow Dash yelped, and Twilight saw this as an opportunity to get away. She and Spike were gone within moments.

"Who the buck are you?" Rainbow gasped. The pink pony grinned and hopped out of the flower pot, and Rainbow saw who it was: an Earth pony with three balloons for a cutie mark.

"Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie, and I'll be in charge of the celebrations for the Summer Sun Celebration! We're having a party at the Golden Oak Library, and it's also a surprise party for the three new arrivals! Except that you're one of the three, and I'm talking to you now, so it's not really a surprise for you, but you can come with me anyway and I'll introduce you to my other friends!" She dragged Rainbow Dash by the tail in the direction of the library.

"...I can walk, you know..."

Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle spent most of the night hiding in Twilight's room. Princess Celestia had arranged for her student to stay in the Golden Oak Library, and the living accommodations had already been taken care of. "The ponies here are CRAZY!" Twilight whined, burying her face in a pillow.

"I thought we'd never get away," Rainbow agreed. Pinkie had introduced her to pretty much everypony in Ponyville. This included Rarity, the white Unicorn with a passion for fashion, Applejack, the caterer for most of the town's events, Fluttershy, the timid Pegasus animal caretaker, Lyra, the Unicorn obsessed with humans, her roommate Bon-Bon, Colgate, the town's dentist, and Derpy, the cross-eyed delivery pony. But now it was almost time for the sun to rise. "Just a few more hours of this crud and then I can get the hay out of here," Rainbow Dash repeated to herself as she got into position for the Sonic Rainboom. The ponies were gathered at Town Hall, waiting for Princess Celestia to make her grand entrance. Fluttershy stood next to Rainbow Dash, ready to give Celestia the music her grand entrance needed. (Fluttershy had a little choir of birds...Rainbow Dash didn't know what to think about this.)

"Fillies and gentlecolts, as Mayor of Ponyville, it is my great pleasure to announce the beginning of the Summer Sun Celebration!" The silver-maned Earth pony announced as Rarity pulled open the curtains...but Princess Celestia was not standing behind them.

"She probably overdosed on cake and coffee again," Rainbow Dash muttered to herself. "Now she's having a caffeine crash on a couch somewhere...and her private physician is back at the castle..."

"I'm sure there's a more reasonable explanation than THAT!" The mayor hissed. Rainbow Dash stiffened. Buck a bag, did I just say that out loud...?

"She's GONE!" Rarity gasped. She had checked behind the curtains, but there was no sign of the princess anywhere! I hope she's having a nice nap while we panic about this... Rainbow sighed. Her thoughts were interrupted as a dark blue sparkly mist began to form where Princess Celestia should have been standing. Within moments, the mist became the mane and tail of an Alicorn mare with a coat as black as the night. She wore battle armor and faced the ponies with bitterness in her cat-like eyes.

"Why, hello, my beloved subjects. It's been so long since I've seen your precious, sun-loving faces. Am I not royal enough for you? Does my crown no longer count now that I have been imprisoned for a thousand years?" The mare sneered. "Did no one recall the legend? Did no one see the signs?" She noticed Rainbow Dash. "Or have I already been replaced?"

"I know who you are!" Twilight Sparkle cried. "You're the Mare in the Moon! Nightmare Moon!"

"Well, well, well, somepony who remembers me...then you also know why I am here."

"You're here to..." Twilight gulped.

"Remember this day from now on, ponies, for it was your last! The night will last FOREVER!" The tall Alicorn began to cackle as all of Tartarus broke loose inside the Town Hall. Twilight Sparkle galloped away with an unconscious Spike on her back. Rainbow looked at the Alicorn. Such a drama queen... She followed Twilight back to the library.

Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie were already inside the library with Twilight. Rainbow flew through an open window and tackled Twilight. "Twilight, why didn't you tell me about this?" Rainbow asked, shaking her friend by the shoulders. Twilight's head drooped in defeat.

"You know why. Princess Celestia said that this was all an old mare's tale. Now she's gone, and it's all my fault..."

"Simmer down, Sally, that's just stinkin' thinkin'," Applejack claimed in her thick country accent. Twilight calmed down slightly.

"The only objects that can stop Nightmare Moon are the Elements of Harmony...but I don't know where to find them or what they do!"

"Elements of Harmony: A Reference Guide!" Pinkie Pie handed Twilight the book that she had been looking for. "It was under 'E'!" She explained in a sing-song voice. Twilight flipped through the pages of the book.

"Only five of the six Elements are known: Honesty, Kindness, Generosity, Laughter, and Loyalty. The sixth is a complete mystery...and the book says that they should be located in Celestia's old castle in the Everfree Forest..."

"You mean one of the places I'm not supposed to go EVER because I'm a princess?" Rainbow asked.

"...I understand if you don't want to come with me, but..."

"ARE YOU KIDDING? Let's go right now!" Rainbow shouted, zooming out of the library.

The journey through the Everfree was difficult. They had faced dangerous cliffs, manticores, spooky trees, and an outrageously flamboyant sea serpent. Now Rainbow Dash was going to help them with the one thing that stood between the ponies and the abandoned castle: a broken bridge! She had flown to the other side of it to tie up the ropes that held it up when she heard a voice. "Rainbow..."

"Show yourself! I'm not scared of you!" Rainbow shouted. From the darkness, three Pegasus ponies dressed in Wonderbolt outfits with darker color schemes appeared.

"We're the Shadowbolts," one mare announced. "We're the best flying team in the Everfree...but we'll soon be the best in Equestria. We just need a captain...the best flier in Equestria...you."

"But I'm a princess," Rainbow said, pointing to her horn and fluttering her wings. "Princesses can't compete in sports teams."

"That doesn't matter if you're a Shadowbolt," the leader smirked. "We need you."

"WOOHOO!" Rainbow Dash cried, pumping her hoof in the air. She couldn't believe it! They weren't the Wonderbolts, but she'd take just about anything given her current situation...and the rules of sports teams and royalty... "I'm in! Just let me tie up this bridge real quick, and then we've got a deal!"

"No!" The mare shouted. "It's either THEM, or US!"

From the other side of the bridge, Rainbow heard Twilight call to her. "Don't listen to them, Rainbow Dash!"

Rainbow Dash looked at the Shadowbolts mare. "You...thank you for the offer, I mean! But I'm gonna have to say no!" With that, she resumed securing the bridge. The other ponies rushed across it to join the princess. The Shadowbolts were long gone by then.

"...so I'm just saying, all Alicorns seem to have a special spell, but I don't know what mine is," Rainbow concluded as they entered the empty castle. Twilight began to place the orbs which contained the five known Elements in front of her.

"Well, that's because you were born a Pegasus, sugar cube," Applejack said.

"So was Princess Cadance!" Pinkie Pie reminded her. Applejack blinked.

"Who?"

"Shush! I need to concentrate..." Twilight Sparkle's head was bowed as she charged a spell for the five orbs. But then...she and the orbs vanished in a bright light!

"Where did she go?" "What's going on?" "What happened?"

"YOU KNOW, I'M GETTING REALLY SICK OF ALL THESE BRIGHT, FLASHY LIGHTS!" Rainbow Dash shouted, waving her hoof in the air. And as she spoke, yet another bright, flashy light appeared in a tower in a different part of the castle. The ponies hurried there as fast as they could...but they weren't fast enough. Rainbow Dash was disappointed because she missed most of Nightmare Moon's epic villain monologue and Twilight Sparkle's heroic actions. They also missed the part where Nightmare Moon destroyed the orbs that contained the Elements...but once the ponies arrived, Twilight Sparkle countered Nightmare Moon with a speech of her own! So awesome...

"Applejack, who reassured me when I was in doubt, represents the Element of Honesty! Fluttershy, who tamed the manticore with her compassion, represents the Element of Kindness! Pinkie Pie, who banished fear by giggling in the face of danger, represents the Element of Laughter! Rarity, who calmed a sorrowful serpent with a meaningful gift, represents the Element of Generosity!" As she spoke, the fragments of the broken orbs began to swirl around the ponies, forming necklaces with gems shaped like their cutie marks. "And Princess Rainbow Dash, who could not abandon her friends for her own heart's desire, represents the Element of Loyalty!" The shards of the Element began to swirl around Rainbow Dash, forming a tiara almost identical to the one that she had worn at her coronation all those years ago.

"You still don't have the sixth Element! The spark didn't work!" Nightmare Moon protested.

Twilight grinned as she turned to her companions. "I felt it the very moment I realized how happy I was to hear you, to see you, how much I cared about you. The spark ignited inside me when I realized that you all...are my friends! You see, Nightmare Moon, when those Elements are ignited by the spark that resides in the heart of us all, it creates the sixth Element: the Element of...Magic!" As she spoke, a bright light ignited above her and lowered itself, manifesting itself into a crown on her head.

There was no more talk. The Elements of Harmony and their bearers joined together, and the magic from them formed an awesome rainbow which totally shattered Nightmare Moon and left her feeling weak and helpless...at least, this was Rainbow Dash's interpretation of events. The magical shock after using the Elements for the first time left the bearers scattered around the room.

"My head...also, my leg..." Rainbow groaned.

"Is everypony okay?" Applejack asked.

"Marvelous! Look at our necklaces!" Rarity gasped.

"Gee, Twilight, Ah thought you were spouting a whole lot of hooey," Applejack admitted.

"So did I!" Rainbow added.

"Me too!"

"I did as well!"

"I thought so..."

"But Ah reckon we really do represent the Elements of Harmony!" Applejack finished.

"Indeed you do," the all-too-familiar, annoyingly serene voice announced. The sun was starting to rise. It was a few hours late, but hey, they were all a little too busy defeating the villain to really care about the lack of natural light. As the sun rose, a bright light (Shocking, right? Rainbow thought) appeared in the room, along with the glorious Princess Celestia. Everypony bowed except for Rainbow Dash and Twilight. They rushed to her side and embraced her. "My most faithful student, I knew you could do it," the Alicorn said to the Unicorn.

"But you told me that it was all an old pony's tale," Twilight said.

"I told you that you needed to make FRIENDS, nothing more. I saw the signs of Nightmare Moon's return and knew that you would be the one to defeat her, but you could not unless you let friendship into your heart."

"Wait, wait, why couldn't you have just told her all of this BEFORE she came to Ponyville?" Rainbow asked. "Or couldn't you have been the one to defeat her? Just another wave of the Alicorn horn and BAM, she's back to the moon for another thousand years!"

Princess Celestia ignored her. "Now if only another will accept friendship...Princess Luna!" The ponies turned to where Nightmare Moon's body had been flung. Instead of the dark, imposing mare, a blue mare, perhaps in her teen years, lay in a circle of shattered armor. She gasped at the sound of Celestia's voice. The white Alicorn stepped towards the smaller, frailer one. "It has been a thousand years since I've seen you like this. Time to put our differences behind us." She knelt next to the defeated pony. "We were meant to rule together, little sister."

"SISTER?" Everypony, including Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle, gasped.

"Will you accept my friendship?" Celestia asked as she stood. The blue Alicorn bowed her head before she stood and ran to the white Alicorn.

"I'm so sorry! I missed you so much, big sister!"

"And I missed you, too," Celestia said back, tears spilling from her beautiful eyes.

"There's another immortal Alicorn? WHAT ELSE DO I NOT KNOW?" Rainbow Dash shouted. She looked at Celestia. "May I ask why the Elements were in the Everfree instead of in your new castle in Canterlot? What kept you from using them yourself? And what if Twilight didn't find friendship after all? Then we'd all be bucked in the flank, wouldn't we?! Does...anypony...realize...that I'm talking...?"

"You know what this calls for? A PARTY!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed.

...yeah, no one knew she was talking.

Back in Ponyville, the celebrations continued as planned, only with one more Alicorn to spare. But Twilight Sparkle, despite the discoveries she had made, still seemed down. "Why so glum, my faithful student?" Princess Celestia asked. "Aren't you excited to return to your studies in Canterlot?" Do you even know Twilight Sparkle's name, or are you just gonna keep addressing her as 'my faithful student'? Rainbow wondered.

"Just after I learned about how great it is to have friends...I have to leave them," Twilight sighed. Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. What do you think it was like when I became an Alicorn? But Celestia had other thoughts.

"Spike, take a note, please." She cleared her throat. "I, Princess Celestia, hereby decree that the Unicorn Twilight Sparkle shall take on a new mission for Equestria. She must continue to study the Magic of Friendship. She must report to me her findings from her new home in Ponyville." Okay, she knows her name, that's good, Rainbow acknowledged.

"It stinks that I have to go back to Canterlot after this!" Rainbow huffed, shooting Twilight a jealous glare.

"That's not exactly true," Celestia corrected. "Remember what I told you when you first became a princess: you are not tied to Canterlot." Rainbow Dash's eyes widened.

"You mean...?"

"Yes, you may stay," Celestia smiled. "Ponyville could use a royal presence...starting in two weeks!"

"TWO WEEKS?"

"Yes! Who do you think will be the ones to fill Luna in on all that she's missed while she was on the moon? You and Cadance, of course!" Celestia beamed.

Rainbow facehoofed.

As soon as Celestia was safe in her royal chambers, she collapsed on her bed and buried her face in her hooves. "I almost had a relapse..." She moaned. "That coffee crash kept me from confronting my sister...I endangered my little ponies...I'm a terrible ruler..." She reached under her pillow and began to nibble half-heartedly on her emergency cake rations. "I don't...deserve...this cake..." She moaned between bites. "I don't deserve my magnificent mane or super perfect body...I'm a horrible pony!" She reached for another slice of cake...

Author's Note

PHEW...the balance between comedy and seriousness is hard sometimes! Also, this chapter was very, very long... *collapses* Gimme...a few minutes...I'm so...loyal to my reviewers that I had to get this chapter finished today... *collapses on bed, snoring*

The next chapter should hopefully be an even divide between the antics of three princesses and the following episodes: The Ticket Master, Applebuck Season, and Griffon the Brush Off. How will Rainbow Dash's Unicorn horn change the events of those three episodes? DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN...

Also, in other news, my mom totally called Fluttershy by the wrong name today. She called her "Shutterfly"... :fluttercry: Don't worry, Flutters, I still love you! :hug:

Blueblood's Greatest Freakout Ever/The Ticket Masters

Princess Rainbow Dash

Princess Cadance, Princess Rainbow Dash, and Princess Luna sat in the royal sitting room. Rainbow Dash thought that it was hilarious: Luna was over a thousand years old and was about her height. Cadance, who recently celebrated her twenty-first birthday, was the tallest pony in the room. She was taller than her adoptive aunt. Rainbow was going to point this out, but Cadance cleared her throat. "Soooo..."

"So," Luna agreed.

"Aunt Celestia never told me that I had another aunt."

"And she never told us that we had another sister," Luna nodded. Rainbow Dash tilted her head to the side.

"'We'? 'Us'?"

"Isn't it still traditional to use 'we' when you speak in the royal Canterlot tongue?" Luna asked, confused.

"No..."

"Oh...well, I can drop that formality! Huzzah!" Luna cheered.

"Anyway, you don't have another sister. I'm adopted," Cadance explained. She and Rainbow went on to explain their exciting backstories, which seemed really really boring to them now because they had only shared their backstories A MILLION times.

"So...are you really only this tall?" Rainbow wondered when she was finished speaking.

"Rainbow Dash, be nice!" Cadance scolded.

"No, we...I mean, I used to be a lot taller. My mane was just like Tia's: super perfect and wavy," she said with a wistful sigh and a flip of her mane. "I hope that I gain my full powers back soon...then I'll look flawless once more."

"And do you like coffee and cake, just like 'Tia'?" Rainbow asked with a smirk.

"What's coffee?" Luna replied. "Is that some kind of truffle?" Rainbow's smirk grew wider. She clapped her hooves together.

"SERVANTS!" She shouted. "I need three cups of tea STAT!"

Half an hour later...

"I'M PRINCESS BUCKING LUNA AND I CANNOT FEEL MY BUCKING FACE!" Luna's eye twitched. Rainbow Dash was rolling on the ground, laughing her head off as the blue Alicorn coped with her first encounter with coffee. Cadance watched them both with a small, wry smile.

"This is why I switched to tea..." She remarked to herself, sipping from her teacup. As she spoke, a soaking wet Unicorn stomped into the room, his blond hair clinging to his furious face. And yet...was that a note of fear in his eyes...?

"Which one of you commoner princesses put a frog in my bathtub?" Prince Blueblood demanded. He noticed Luna for the first time and gasped. "Oh, buck! There's THREE of you?" He ran from the room, screaming.

"And who the buck, pray tell, was that?" Luna asked with mild interest as he left.

"That was Prince Blueblood, your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grand cousin," Rainbow said in one breath.

"Why is he so great?" Luna wondered. "His character seemed...mediocre. At best." Rainbow Dash laughed.

"He gets worse! Trust me! It seems that he only exists for us to give him his just desserts for being such a royal pain in the flank!"

"You know what he hates?" Cadance giggled. "Being watched! He knows that we can use his tantrums against him!"

"How epic are these tantrums?" Cadance and Rainbow Dash giggled.

"Seeing is believing!" Cadance said, standing up. "Come on, we'll show you!"

Meanwhile, Prince Blueblood had just entered his room and was pacing back and forth, fuming. What proceeded was the greatest tantrum in recorded history. He grabbed his bed sheets and crumpled them into a ball, sobbing and shrieking and making noises that weren't possible for equines to make. "I'm going to run away and never come back!" He wailed, thrashing around his bed. He paused when he heard three voices.

"So he shoves it up his plot!" One said.

"No! Surely you jest!"

"No, no, no, we don't say 'surely you jest', Auntie Luna," another voice interrupted. "We say, 'You must be joking!' Or 'You're not serious!'"

"Very well...you must be joking!"

"No, we're totally serious!" The first voice laughed. "He shoves it up his plot!"

"Does anypony have more popcorn?" Blueblood froze and flung open his closet doors. Three princesses sat in lawn chairs with binoculars, refreshing snacks, and the biggest grins on their faces.

"GET THE BUCK OUT OF MY ROOMS, YOU STALKERS!"

"You only have one room," Rainbow Dash corrected. "That's because you're the least favorite pony in the castle!"

"BURN!" Cadance shouted, giving the younger Alicorn a hoof-bump. Blueblood picked up a spare horseshoe from his closet and began to smack his face with it.

"IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT?" He shouted.

"Nay, foalish nephew," Luna interrupted. "We simply wanted to see thou lose thy bucking mind. We shall leave now." She stood and trotted out of his room, followed by the other two Alicorns. Cadance looked over her shoulder at the pissed prince and asked:

"How come you don't have a crown again?" She slammed the door to his room before the horseshoe he threw could hit her in her pretty pink face.

"Out of curiosity, who put the toad in Blueblood's bath?" Luna wondered.

"I did!" Rainbow bragged.

"I applaud you," Luna commended, and Rainbow wrapped her arm around Luna's shoulders.

"Luna, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

In her royal chambers, Celestia was restocking her emergency cake rations (ECR) and giggling like a lunatic at Blueblood's sufferings. "I don't know exactly how he's related to me, but I feel like he exists solely for our entertainment." She laughed as she bit into a slice of delicious-looking red velvet cake...only to spit it out. She gasped and used her magic to calculate the expiration date of the ingredients. "January 21st...14 BLC*?" She hesitated for a minute, then took another bite...and another...

When Rainbow Dash returned to Ponyville, she spent a day helping Applejack and Twilight Sparkle with some of AJ's chores. "Ah made a bet with Big Mac. If Ah win, he has to walk down Stirrup Street in one of Granny's girdles!" The farm pony guffawed. Spike burped up a letter from the Sun Princess, which he began to read.

"'Hear ye, hear ye, Her Grand Royal Highness, Princess Celestia of Equestria...'"

Wow, pretentious much? Rainbow cringed.

"...yadda yadda yadda..'.to Princess Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle and one guest'!" He fished out three golden tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala, the most exclusive party in all of Equestria. It was held once a year in Canterlot. When Rainbow Dash was an Alicorn filly, she enjoyed meeting her heroes. As the years passed and members of the team came and went, she liked meeting the new recruits. Some day I'll be one of these ponies, she'd think to herself. But then, the day came when Celestia told her the truth: princesses can't become Wonderbolts. From that day forward, she dreaded attending the Gala and seeing the ponies that she could never become.

"I've never been to the Gala," Twilight giggled. "It must be so nice!"

"NO, it isn't!" Rainbow Dash corrected. "It's horrible! Just throw away the three tickets! Save us all some trouble!"

"But Rainbow Dash, Ah'd love to go and make some money selling apples! If enough ponies bought mah apples, Ah could afford to do some serious repairs around Sweet Apple Acres and fix Granny Smith's old hip!"

"Ponies don't go to the Gala for the food," Rainbow Dash replied. "I'm really sorry to tell you that." She snatched the three tickets from Spike's claw. "I'm going to destroy these and save an evening of our lives!" She flew away, creating a wind that knocked several apples off of their trees. As she entered Ponyville, the tickets flew from her hooves and into the face of Pinkie Pie.

"Wait...these are tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala! The GGG! The Triple G! The most superly amazing party! Rainbow Dash, are you taking someone this year? Take me with you! I WANNA PARTY!" The pink Earth pony begged, wrapping her hooves around Rainbow's legs and dragging her to the ground.

"NO! The Gala is the WORST party I've ever been to! You do NOT want to go, Pinkie!" As she said this, Twilight and Applejack, followed by Spike, trotted up to them, along with Fluttershy and Rarity. Rarity was the most impressed with the tickets.

"Oh, Twilight, Princess Rainbow Dash, I simply MUST go to the Gala! It's where I'm destined to meet...HIM."

"Him?" Twilight and Rainbow asked in unison.

"Yes, HIM! Him. I would stroll through the Gala, and everyone would wonder, 'Who is that mysterious mare?' They would never guess that I was just a simple pony from little old Ponyville. Why, I would cause such a sensation that I would be invited for an audience with Princess Celestia herself, and the princess would be so taken with the style and elegance that she would introduce me to him, her nephew: the most handsome, eligible unicorn stallion in Canterlot. Our eyes would meet, our hearts would melt. Our courtship would be magnificent. He would ask for my hoof in marriage, and of course I would say, 'Yes!' We would have a royal wedding, befitting a princess, which is what I would become upon marrying him, the stallion of my dreams."

"RARITY! DO NOT MARRY PRINCE BLUEBLOOD!" Rainbow Dash flew so close to her face that her horn almost poked one of Rarity's eyes out. The only thing she poked was Rarity's thought bubble. "He is the biggest jerkwad I have EVER met!"

"Oh, Rainbow Dash, you are so selfish!" Rarity huffed. "You're just telling me this so I won't want to go to the Gala!"

"No, I'm not! If you want to go to the Gala, that's fine, but avoid Bluebrat at all costs! He's the worst! And I don't even WANT to know why you want to go to the Gala!" She continued, pointing her hoof at Fluttershy. "But whatever reason it is, I PROMISE you, there's more of it out there...outside of the Gala! In fact, just take my ticket!" She threw it in the air. "FREE TICKET! I don't care who goes. But may Celestia have mercy on your soul..." She, along with her friends, watched as the ticket fluttered to the ground. Nopony reached for it.

"...on second thought...Spike, take a letter." Twilight cleared her throat as Spike began to write on a piece of parchment. "Dear Princess Celestia, I've learned that one of the joys of friendship is sharing your blessings, but when there's not enough blessings to go around, having more than your friends can make you feel pretty awful. So, though I appreciate the invitation, I will be returning the tickets to The Grand Galloping Gala."

"PHEW, all of our problems are solved!" Rainbow Dash sighed as the letter vanished into Spike's green fire breath. But only a few moments later, the dragon burped again.

"It's a letter from the princess!" He gasped. "'My faithful student Twilight, why didn't you just say so?' And there are six tickets to the Gala!" He pulled them out, one by one.

"Great...now we can all suffer..." Rainbow shook her head and sighed as the rest of her friends cheered...and as she watched them, she couldn't help but wonder...

"How come Cadance is never invited to the Gala?"

"You can have my ticket to the Gala if you say the following: 'Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and Princess Rainbow Dash are the best princesses ever. So is Princess Luna, my aunt. If I ever insult them again, then a thousand Parasprites will attack my armpits.'" Princess Cadance flew above Blueblood's head, her ticket to the Gala just out of reach for him. Blueblood was too distracted by the shininess of the ticket to even consider using magic to take it from Cadance's hoof. So he swallowed his pride and repeated what the pink princess told him. She fluttered down, the ticket almost in his hoof...only to yank it away at the last moment. "Now...go and tell all of your servants that you appreciate them and their ability to put up with you, a stubborn pompous prick." Cadance grinned wickedly. "This ought to be good..."

Author's Note

...I've written a parody of the Greatest Freakout Ever. I QUIT. My life is complete! There's nothing left for me to write! I have fulfilled my destiny! *becomes an Alicorn princess* Okay, maybe not...anyway, if you haven't seen the Greatest Freakout Ever videos, here's a link to the one that started it all...

...what did Blueblood shove up his plot? ...I'll let you decide.

Happy Hearts and Hooves Day, everyone! Or, if you're me, Single Awareness Day! SINGLES OF THE WORLD UNITE!!!

*BLC=Before Luna and Celestia

Next chapter will definitely have the events of Griffon the Brush-Off. I'm unsure about Applebuck Season...I'll probably have to watch that episode again and see if there's enough of Rainbow Dash in it, or if she contributes enough to the story for there to be any large differences if she was made a princess...meh, we'll see what happens!!

House Hunting, Pranking, and Griffons...oh my!

Princess Rainbow Dash

Rainbow Dash woke up and stretched her wings. She trudged down the wooden stairs to the main room of the library, where Twilight sat with a cup of coffee and an open book. "Morning, Twi," the cyan mare mumbled.

"You do know that it's the middle of the afternoon, right?" Twilight replied, turning a page. Rainbow sighed. She loved Twilight to death, what with them being friends, enemies of Blueblood, and Elements of Harmony, but she was tired of crashing with Twilight in the Golden Oak Library. Twilight never wanted to do anything fun, and she always insisted on a certain level of noise. Anything higher than that level interfered with her concentrating on her studies. And Spike snored. "Got any plans for the day?" Twilight asked, glancing up from her book.

"You betcha!" Rainbow said. "I'm going...pause for dramatic effect...HOUSE HUNTING!"

"What's wrong with you staying in the library?" Twilight asked, somewhat hurt.

"Twi, no offense, but it's boring here. I'm not an egghead like you, so I'm not immediately entertained when I'm in a room SURROUNDED by books."

"...none taken..." Twilight said.

"So I gotta find my own place where I won't be bored! The next time you see me, I'll have a place of my own!" She promised, zipping out the door.

"Who knew that house-hunting would be so hard?" Rainbow lamented, slumping against a tree. She had been to EVERY house that was for sale, but none of them suited her. As she pondered her next move...she couldn't go back to Twilight and the library without a new home...an orange Pegasus filly with a purple mane zoomed by on a scooter. She braked when she noticed the despondent princess, and her eyes widened. Rainbow noticed that she was being stared at, so she raised her eyebrow at the filly. "Can I help you?"

"Can I help you? You look down."

"I don't know if you can. I'm trying to find a new home for Ponyville, but nothing stands out! I need a place that's as awesome as I am!"

The filly smirked. "I think I have what you're looking for..."

It was EXACTLY what Rainbow Dash was looking for! It was a Cloudimonium with old-fashioned columns, rainbow streams like the ones at Rainbow Falls, really spacious bedrooms, and a great view of the neighboring mountains! "I'll take it!" She said to the filly (who had dragged along a real-estate agent). "Wait until Twilight gets a load of this beauty! She's gonna be SO JEALOUS!"

She was on her way to find Twilight when the annoying voice of Pinkie Pie distracted her. "But, but Rainbow Dash...!"

"I said not now! I'm in the middle of something!" Then Rainbow Dash crashed into a mountain and fell to the ground, groaning.

"I was gonna tell you to look out for that mountain," Pinkie said matter-of-factly.

"My leg...also, my head..." Rainbow groaned.

Some time later...

"Princess and Pinkie Pranking Palooza: Day One!" Pinkie said, jotting notes down on a notepad that she pulled from her poofy mane. The day consisted of painting all of the apples in Sweet Apple Acres, delivering a bouquet of flowers with sneezing powder to Rarity, and replacing Twilight's regular ink with vanishing ink. Rainbow hadn't had this much fun in a long, long time. And she was pleasantly surprised when Pinkie managed to prank her a few times! Nopony had pranked her in YEARS. Pinkie wasn't nearly as annoying as Rainbow thought she was...but she did have a lot of energy, and the princess was happy to get to her new home for some much-needed rest and relaxation. But then...

"Knock knock," a voice said, causing Rainbow to jump. When she turned, she saw that she had a visitor: a Griffon. "Is this the house of Princess Rainbow Dash?"

"Ohmygosh, is that you, Gilda?" Rainbow tackled her old friend to the ground and hugged her. "I missed you so much!"

"Hey, watch the feathers, RD," Gilda laughed, standing up and straightening her feathers. "I missed you, too! I was in the neighborhood and I thought I'd look you up! Somepony mentioned that there was a PRINCESS living here now!" She teased.

"Whoa, drop the princess thing here, 'k? I'm not a princess with my friends, I'm a friend with my friends!"

"Sure," Gilda said, admiring Rainbow's horn. "So, got any new spells with that thing?" Rainbow's ears drooped.

"Not really," she admitted. "Just the basics like levitation, which I don't use, teleportation, which I don't need, and...yeah, that's about it."

"It's still awesome!"

"Right..." Rainbow said, uncomfortable. "How long are you staying in Ponyville?" She asked, eager for a subject change.

"As long as you want me to!" Gilda replied.

"Sweet! You can spend the night here!"

Rainbow Dash's first night in her new home was completely and totally awesome. It ended when the sun rose in the sky, and the toots of a party horn could be heard approaching the cloud home. "Rise and shine, Rainbow Dash!" Pinkie Pie called up. Gilda poked her head out and her pupils shrank.

"Morning, Pinks!" The Alicorn landed next to the Earth pony. "Hey, Gilda, this is my gal pal, Pinkie Pie!" Gilda landed a few feet away from Pinkie.

"S'up?" The not-pony asked, looking away.

"Pinkie, this is my Griffon pal, Gilda!"

"What's a Griffon?"

"She's part lion, party eagle!" Gilda spread her fantastic wings and flew closer to Rainbow.

"And all awesome! RAWR!" The two friends hoof-bumped...or sort of hoof-bumped. Griffons don't have hooves.

"Gilda's my best friend from Junior Speedsters Flight Camp," Rainbow continued. "Hey, remember the chant?"

"Yea, they made us recite it every day. I'll never get that lame thing out of my head."

"Sooo..." Rainbow gave Gilda a half-hopeful, half-devious smile. Gilda rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Only for you, Princess Dash." They flew up for the air and began to recite their old words, Rainbow with excitement and enthusiasm, Gilda with boredom.

"Junior Speedsters are our lives, sky-bound soars and daring dives, Junior Speedsters, it's our quest to someday be the very best!" Pinkie giggle-snorted at the end, which Rainbow smiled at, but Gilda seemed annoyed by.

"That WAS awesome! And it gave me a great idea for a prank! Gilda, you game?" Pinkie asked.

"Well, I groove on a good prank as much as the next Griffon, but Dash promised me that we'd get a flying session in this morning," Gilda shrugged, flying up.

Did I? I don't remember... "Gilda just got here! We'll catch up with you later!"

Later...

"Wow, you guys almost got away from me that time!" Pinkie had followed Gilda and Rainbow Dash around Ponyville, trying to join in on their fun. Rainbow Dash was amused by Pinkie's antics, but Gilda kept trying to get rid of Pinkie. Now Pinkie was using a crazy flying contraption to fly in the air with her feathered friends.

"Hey Dash, got any new flying tricks, or has the princess life made you one hundred percent old school?" Gilda smirked.

"New moves?" Rainbow Dash beamed. Alicorn wings were bigger and stronger than regular Pegasus wings, which opened a new range of possibilities for the princess. "Sit back, G. This is gonna take a few!" She launched into an awesome routine, but when it ended, Pinkie was nowhere in sight. She missed my routine? Aw, man... "Where's Pinkie Pie and her crazy contraption?"

"Meh, she left. She said something about being as 'busy as a bee'."

Gilda and Rainbow Dash spent the whole afternoon catching up. It was just like old times! But as they flew into Ponyville, Rainbow Dash remembered something. "Ugh, I gotta take care of a few weather jobs. It shouldn't take too long, so just hang out here and I'll come find you!"

"That's cool! I'm gonna go chow down!" The Griffon laughed, and Rainbow left to do her job. It turns out that one of these jobs was bursting a few dark clouds on the outskirts of Ponyville. No biggie. But...the Pegasus filly from before was watching her...

"Hey, squirt! You wanna come give me a hoof with the weather?" Rainbow called down to her. The filly jumped and blushed a little.

"I'd rather watch you!" The Pegasus filly called up. Rainbow smiled down and proceeded to clear the sky in...ten seconds flat. The filly applauded and cheered. Rainbow bowed.

"Hey, I didn't catch your name. What was it again?"

"Scootaloo!"

"Cool name!" Rainbow grinned, tousling the filly's mane. "Maybe I'll see you around later. Later!" She zoomed away, leaving Scootaloo starstruck.

One day I hope to be an Alicorn princess of awesomeness...

"So who's this Gilda Ah've heard nothing about?" When Rainbow Dash returned to town, she saw fliers posted everywhere advertising a new party to be thrown in Gilda's honor. Pinkie Pie's work, of course. It was the day of the party, and Applejack and Rarity were exchanging bits of gossip about the guest.

"I heard she's a friend of Rainbow Dash's! A Griffon! So rare!" Rarity claimed.

"Actually, Rarity, Griffons are quite common in other parts of the world," Twilight corrected.

"Well, I've never seen one!"

"...that doesn't make them rare..." Twilight turned to Fluttershy. "You've met Gilda, right? What's she like?"

"Oh, um, well...I'll tell you later, Twilight." The shy Pegasus approached Pinkie, who was greeting guests as they entered one by one. "Pinkie Pie, are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Don't worry your pretty little head about mean ol' Gilda! Your Auntie Pinkie has everything under control!" Pinkie promised, patting Fluttershy's head.

"I'm a year older than you..."

Gilda and Rainbow Dash arrived at the party then. "C'mon, G, I'll introduce you to some of my other friends!"

"Vanilla lemon drops," Gilda smiled. "Don't mind if I do!" Rainbow Dash bit her lip to stop herself from bursting into laughter. She had snuck into Sugarcube Corner hours before the party started and set up pranks. She had coated each lemon drop with a generous amount of pepper. She had expected Pinkie Pie to fall for this trick, but...now Gilda was looking for a drink to extinguish the burning sensation in her mouth. Which reminded her...

"Quick, Gilda, the punch!" Rainbow giggled. She had replaced the regular cups with dribble glasses, so that the victim of the lemon drop prank would have to suffer a teensy bit longer... "And look, presents!" Everypony had brought a small gift for the princess's guest, but Rainbow had placed a gift of her own: THIS prank was meant just for Gilda. It was a container full of fake, spring up snakes! They all jumped into Gilda's face, messing up her feathers and making them poofy.

For a while, the party was relatively calm. Then Pinkie Pie brought out the cake. "Can I blow out the candles?" Spike asked. Rainbow smirked. She had planned this prank for Spike! But...

"Why don't we let Gilda blow out the candles? She is the guest of honor after all," Twilight reminded the dragon. But when the Griffon blew on the candles, the flames would just reappear.

"Relighting blowing candles! I love that prank! What a classic!" Spike chuckled.

The last straw for Gilda came when she slipped when playing Pin-the-Tail-on-the-Pony. She exploded and totally snapped. "THIS IS YOUR IDEA OF A GOOD TIME? I'VE NEVER MET A LAMER BUNCH OF DWEEBS! And Pinkie Pie, you are QUEEN LAME-O with your weak little party pranks! Did you really think that you could make me lose my cool? Princess Dash and I have TEN TIMES as much cool as the rest of you put together! C'mon Dash, we're bailing!" Rainbow didn't move an inch.

"You know, Gilda, I was the one who set up all those 'weak party pranks'. I guess I'm 'Queen Lame-o'." Everypony gasped.

"WHAT? C'mon Dash, you're joshing me!" Gilda gave an innocent smile.

Sheesh, I thought Princess Luna was the one who was outdated. Who talks like this anymore? Rainbow raised an eyebrow. "They weren't all meant for you specifically," Rainbow continued. "It was just dumb luck that you set them all off!"

"I should have known! That dribble cup had 'Rainbow Dash' written ALL over it!" Pinkie said to Spike.

"NO WAY. It was Pinkie Pie! She set up this party to trip me up! To make a fool out of me!" Gilda claimed.

"What? No! I threw this party to improve your attitude. I thought that it would turn that frown upside down!" Pinkie craned her neck back, looking up at Gilda.

"And you sure didn't need any help making a fool of yourself! This is NOT how I thought my old friends would treat my new friends! If being cool is all you care about, then maybe you should go find some new, cool friends someplace else!"

"Dash, are you kidding?" Gilda gave a forced grin. "There's nothing cooler than a princess!" Rainbow's eyes narrowed.

"And if you're only friends with my BECAUSE I'm a princess, then you should really leave," The Alicorn finished. Gilda grit her teeth with rage. Wait, do Griffons have teeth?

"You are such a...a flip-flop! Cool one minute, lame the next!" Everypony gasped again.

"How can she talk to a princess that way?" Lyra wondered.

"I don't think she can!" Carrot Top said.

"Let's get her! CHARGE!" Derpy screamed, flying at Gilda. The Griffon panicked and soared from the bakery, but half a dozen ponies led by Derpy pursued. They returned two minutes later. "She got away..."

"Eh, it's alright," Rainbow shrugged. "Everypony, I'm really sorry for bringing Gilda here. I had no idea how rude she was." The other ponies began muttering in agreement. "And Pinkie Pie, I'm really sorry that she ruined that awesome party you threw! Are we cool?"

"No, I'm warm! There's a lot of ponies in here!" Pinkie giggled. Then she pulled the princess in for a hug. "But we are cool! There's still a whole lot of partying left to do!" And as Twilight enjoyed herself, she began to draft a letter to Princess Celestia...

Back in Canterlot, Princess Celestia read the letter and began her reply. As soon as she finished her note, she headed to her secret cake chamber to partake in an afternoon snack. But as she approached the cake vault, she heard obnoxious lips smacking as they chewed cake...her cake...her eyes blazed with fury as she charged towards the intruder, her horn glowing with magical light. And the light revealed the intruder to be...

"A-Auntie Celestia! This isn't what it looks like! The cake was too delicious! I couldn't resist it!" Prince Blueblood's royal lips were smeared with strawberry frosting. Celestia charged her horn with more magic, preparing to send the cake thief to the moon...but then she remembered that he was a mortal and wouldn't survive the lunar conditions. And she was a merciful, loving princess...no, she would not bring physical harm to her nephew...

"Forget it," she shrugged. "Your massive gut will be your punishment in a few days. Good luck fitting into your suit for the Gala now," she smirked.

...but she could not say the same for his pride.

Author's Note

NEVER COME BETWEEN A PRINCESS AND HER CAKE.

Yes, I did omit Applebuck Season because I went back and watched the episode again, and it had less Rainbow Dash than I remembered. To make up for it, I decided to add the house-hunt and Scootaloo's introduction to Rainbow Dash. The next episodes, Boast Busters and Dragonshy, should be...interesting to write about.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie has beaten an Alicorn Princess in a magic duel! MWAHAHAHAH!"

Ahem...whenever I think of Griffon the Brush-Off, I think of this song!

When there's something Great in your NEIGHborhood...

Princess Rainbow Dash

Life in Ponyville was calm for about a week or so. Then the next bit of excitement came in the form of a travelling show pony. Rainbow had been passing by Town Hall one morning, and she saw the large crowd the portable stage...and it's performer. She was a stunningly pretty blue mare with a silver mane, lavender eyes, and a long horn, almost as long as an Alicorn's. "Come one, come all! Come and witness the amazing magic of the Great and Powerful Trixie!" She shouted, rolling the "r" in her name. The ponies in the audience "ooohed" and "aahed". "Watch in awe as the Great and Powerful Trixie performs the most spectacular feats of magic ever witnessed by pony eyes!" The mare continued as she set off fireworks on the stage.

"My, my, my! What boasting!" Rarity scoffed as Twilight Sparkle, Spike, and two Unicorn colts named Snips and Snails arrived. If you don't like her performance, you can leave. Nothing's stopping you...

"There's nothing wrong with being talented, is there?" Twilight asked, seeming worried.

"Just because one has the ability to perform lots of magic does not make one better than the rest of us!" Rarity said. "Why, all of the ponies have magic within them. It's what makes Earth ponies strong and fast, what gives Pegasus ponies the ability to fly...just because Unicorns can harness the magic and influence the world around them does NOT mean that they're superior!"

"Especially when ya got me around being better than the rest of us!" Rainbow interrupted, laughing. Her friends shot her a glare. "Uh, I mean...boo! Magic, schmagic!" Rainbow flushed, going back to her inner turmoil: she was an Alicorn. She had the heart of an Earth pony, the wings of a Pegasus, and the horn of a Unicorn. What was her special spell? What could she do with her Unicorn horn to show that she was special with magic? She couldn't raise the sun or moon or spread Love whenever she wanted to...so what was it?

"Well, well, well, it seems we have some neighsayers in the audience!" Trixie sneered. "Who is so ignorant as to challenge the magical ability of the Great and Powerful Trixie? Do they not know that they're in the presence of the most magical Unicorn in all of Equestria?"

"Why do you think you're so Great and Powerful?" Rainbow asked, raising her voice so that Trixie could hear.

"Heh, why, only the Great and Powerful Trixie has magic strong enough to vanquish the dreaded Ursa Major! When all hope was lost, the ponies of Hoofington had no one to turn to, but the Great and Powerful Trixie stepped in, and with her awesome magic, vanquished the Ursa Major and sent it back to its cave deep within the Everfree Forest!"

"That settles it!" Snips declared.

"Trixie is the most talented Unicorn...no, pony...in all of Ponyville..." Snails continued.

"No, Equestria!"

"It's true, my enthusiastic little admirers. Trixie is most certainly the best in Ponyville." The sound of crickets chirping could be heard in the audience. How come crickets are always attracted to silent crowds, even during the day? "Well then, I hereby challenge you, Ponyvillians." Ponyvillians? Seriously? "Anything you can do, I can do better. Any takers? Anyone? Hmm? Or is Trixie destined to be the greatest equine who has ever lived!? What about you?" She pointed her hoof at Twilight Sparkle. "Is there anything you can do that the Great and Powerful Trixie can't? Well, little hayseed?"

"That's it! Ah can't stand for no more of this!" Applejack declared, coming to Twilight's rescue. She stepped up to the stage.

"Yeah, show her, AJ!" Spike shouted.

"Can your magical powers do this?" Applejack tied a rope to the end of her tail. She launched into a rodeo routine, jumping in and out of the rope as she twirled it in perfect circles. The audience applauded at the end, but Trixie only smiled.

"Oh, ye of little talent." She cast a spell over the rope, making it dance like a charmed snake. Applejack watched one end of the rope, distracted, while the other end wrapped itself around her legs, tying her up. "Once again, the Great and Powerful Trixie prevails!" Trixie shouted, triumphant. Okay, MY turn...

"There's no need to go struttin' around and showin' off like that. That's MY job," Rainbow announced as she stepped up to the stage. "They don't call me 'Princess Rainbow Dash' for nothing!"

"When I'm finished, the only thing they'll call you is 'Princess Loser'," Trixie snorted. The ponies in the audience gasped.

"Can she talk to the princess like that?"

"ATTACK!" Derpy shouted again. The ponies began to swarm around the stage. Rainbow Dash held up a hoof, remembering the incident from Sugarcube Corner. The angry mob stopped in its tracks.

"Whoa, whoa, calm down, everypony. There's nothing wrong with a little friendly competition. Besides," she grinned. "I've always wanted to make a living out of being awesome. If you're just as awesome as me, then I won't stop you!" She proceeded to launch into an awesome flying routine, finishing it with a small Sonic Rainboom.

"It figures that an ALICORN would use her wings to triumph over a Unicorn!" Trixie sneered. "You're an Alicorn. You may have an advantage with those wings, but let's see if you can perform a simple magnetism spell!" Trixie charged up her horn. As it glowed, ponies in the audience cried as their metal objects started to move away from them and towards Trixie's horn. A few moments later, all of the metal objects in the audience were clinging to Trixie's horn...even old Hayseed Turnip Truck's false tooth. Rainbow Dash gulped and charged her horn. Think, magnetism spells, think...I know this... She closed her eyes and concentrated. She could feel the presence of metal in her surroundings...now, all she had to do was make the presence come to her...and she could feel it...she could feel it!

...she could feel it because Granny Smith's walker hit her in the head. She tumbled off of the stage and landed on the ground, rubbing her head and gritting her teeth from the pain.

"Seems like any pony with a DASH of good sense would think twice before tussling with the Great Trixie!" The Unicorn laughed, and few ponies in the audience giggled. "Maybe the Great and Powerful Trixie should become an Alicorn princess of her own! She'd be more magnificent than Princess RainBORE Dash! Perhaps she'd mentor the other princesses with their magic skills!" More ponies in the audience laughed, and Rainbow Dash felt her cheeks burning with anger...and embarrassment.

"We need a Unicorn to go and show her who's boss!" Spike shouted. "Someone with some real magic of her own! ...uh, no offense, Rainbow Dash..."

Ouch...that hurt...

"Enough. Enough, all of you," Rarity interrupted. "I take your hint, but Rarity is above such nonsense. Rainbow Dash and Applejack may behave like ruffians, but Rarity conducts herself with beauty and grace." She paused. "Um...no offense, Princess Rainbow Dash," she said with a smile. "When I said that you behave like a ruffian...I meant it in a positive way." Rainbow rolled her eyes. She's starting to sound like Trixie! She's referring to herself in the third person! DOES ANYPONY ELSE NOTICE THIS?

"Ooooh, what's the matter? Afraid you'll get a hair out of place in that rat's nest you call a mane?" Trixie taunted. THAT got Rarity up to the stage.

"You may think you're tough with all of your so-called powers, but there's more to magic than your brutish ways. A Unicorn needs to be more than just muscle. A Unicorn needs to have style!" Rarity used her magic to take one of the curtains from Trixie's stage and fashion it into a rather beautiful dress. But Trixie's horn glowed, and Rarity...

"GET ME A MIRROR! I NEED A MIRROR!" She screamed. "WHAT DID SHE DO TO MY MANE?"

"There's nothing wrong with your mane," Twilight lied.

"It's fine! It's gorgeous!" Applejack added.

"It's green," Spike blurted. It was true: Rarity's mane had been turned the most unattractive shade of moss green.

"Ugh, no! Green hair! Not green hair!" She ran off the stage, sobbing. "Such an awful, awful color!"

"Well, I never!' Carrot Top exclaimed. She had just dyed her mane green. Granny Smith, a green pony, looked up and glared at the retreating Rarity. Apple Fritter and Daisy, two green-haired ponies in the audience, shot Granny comforting glances and went to comfort Carrot Top.

"Ha! Once again, the Great and Powerful Trixie has proven herself to be the most amazing Unicorn in all of Equestria!" The stage mare declared. "Was there EVER any doubt?" She turned her back to the audience.

Rainbow frowned. That's it. Show off your skills, fine. Beat me and my friends in some competition, okay. Have ponies laugh at me? Red flag. Make my friends cry? Bigger red flag. Take pleasure from their tears? Oooh, there ain't a flag big OR red enough... She narrowed her eyes. I think I'll have a little talk with her...

Rainbow Dash stayed long after the show and waited to catch the magician alone. Snips and Snails stayed the longest, bringing Trixie a milkshake and asking for her to tell more stories. But then Trixie dismissed them, and Rainbow approached her. She cut straight to the chase. "Just because we knew each other at Canterlot Academy does NOT mean that you can talk to me like that in public...or talk to my friends like that." Trixie's eyes widened.

"You remember me?"

"How could I forget?" When Rainbow Dash and Cadance became princesses, they continued their regular school studies at Canterlot Academy, the second most exclusive school in Equestria. The first was Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. It was at Canterlot Academy where Cadance and Shining Armor fell in love. Rainbow Dash made less than memorable memories at the school, but the one that stood out the most to her was the day she met Trixie Lulamoon. The silver-maned pony had strut through the halls and approached Princess Rainbow Dash.

"Give Trixie your lunch money, princess," she had demanded.

"No way," Rainbow had snorted.

"But Trixie wants to buy peanut butter crackers," she had whined.

"Go find your own!"

From that moment on, the two had been the best of frenemies. They graduated the same year and went their separate paths and had not seen each other since...until now.

"If you remember Trixie so well, you should also remember why she was in that school in the first place!" The blue mare huffed. Rainbow Dash placed her hoof to her chin and thought. She remembered that Trixie had transferred to the school late during the spring semester of junior year...Cadance and Shining Armor had graduated by then... "I was thrown from Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns!" Trixie snapped. She was so upset that she forgot to use the third person. "It was the most humiliating moment of my life!"

"But you seem to be doing well now!" Rainbow pointed out. "Vanquishing an Ursa Minor...but seriously, you need to rein it in a little. There's a line, and you crossed it today with me, Applejack, Twilight Sparkle, and Rarity."

"Oh? Look who's talking! 'There's no need to go struttin' around and showin' off like that. That's MY job!'" She mocked. Rainbow blushed, and Trixie scowled. "Don't throw stones if your house is made of glass, Princess Rainbow Dash. Now, if you'll excuse me, Trixie is exhausted and will rest now." She closed the door to her caravan, and Rainbow Dash sighed and trotted away.

Rainbow returned to her Cloudimonium and began to reflect on what Trixie had said. I've been to Hoofington before...but no one EVER talked about Trixie...hmm... She picked up a piece of parchment and a quill and began drafting a letter. "'Dear Mayor Draft, How are you? I'...okay, good start! Let's see...let's change that to 'It was such a pleasant surprise to see you at the last Rainbow Falls Trader Exchange. I believe that I will be next year's hostess, so maybe we'll see each other there.' Good, sounds diplomatic and stuff! 'I am writing to ask about a certain event that may have happened in your town. A travelling magician by the name of Trixie has come to Ponyville, claiming that she single-hoofedly saved Hoofington from an Ursa Major. Is this true? I have not heard of such an incident. Please respond soon! And say hello to the little ones for me! Yours truly, Princess Rainbow Dash.'" Rainbow took a step back and admired her work. "Who says that I'm not eloquent? Now to actually send it..." She looked out of her window, looking for Spike...but then she spotted something MUCH better! "DERPY! DERPY HOOVES! UP HERE!" She shouted, waving. The wall-eyed pony looked at Rainbow and flew up.

"What can I do for you, princess?"

"Have you finished your regular mail route today?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Great! I need you to make a speedy delivery to Hoofington! Can you place this in the hooves on Mayor Cream Draft when you get there?" Rainbow handed her the letter.

"No problem, Rainbow Dash, but...aren't you the fastest flier in Equestria? Couldn't you do it much quicker than I could?"

"Well, yes, it's all true," Rainbow said, sleeking her mane back. "But...I have duties here. Royal duties. And if you can do this in record-breaking time...I'll put in a good word with Mayor Mare and get you promoted to Head Delivery Pony!" Derpy's eyes widened and she was off! "That was easy," Rainbow smiled. "Now...to that royal business..." She flumped on her bed and was asleep within moments.

Rainbow Dash slept all afternoon, dreaming of flying, Sonic Rainbooms, and finding her special magical spell. Maybe it was something powerful enough to cast every storm cloud within a fifty mile radius away! Maybe it was creating something bigger, better than a Rainboom! Maybe she could banish an Ursa Major on her own and send Trixie flying from out of town to the moon! All of the ponies would watch and cheer for her. "Rainbow Dash! Rainbow Dash!" Her dreams were interrupted, along with her sleep, when there was a knock at the door. She jerked awake and glanced outside. Whoa, slept all day. Buck it, I'm a princess, I deserve this. She went to see who it was: Derpy, clutching the mayor's reply. "Thank you, Rainbow Dash! I sure hope I get that promotion!" She beamed. Rainbow nodded and opened the letter and read it aloud.

"'Dear Princess Rainbow Dash, It's always a delight to hear from a member of royalty, unless it's Prince Blueblood. Speaking of him, did you ever make copies of his diary? I would very much love to read it. Anyway, I have not heard of anypony by the name of Trixie, and nopony in town has seen an Ursa Major. We intend to keep it that way. I think that the next time somepony hires entertainment for you, they should check his or her credentials and references. Yours very truly, Mayor Cream Draft.'" Rainbow looked at Derpy. "So she is a liar! Trixie never banished an Ursa Major."

"...that's kind of a problem," Derpy mumbled, one eye looking down.

"What do you mean?"

"Look." She pointed down to where her one eye was looking. There, in plain sight under Luna's full moon, was an Ursa Major, rampaging through town and creating chaos.

"Oh, no!" Rainbow and Derpy flew down. The Ursa had cornered Trixie, Snips, and Snails, but Trixie was shouting at the two colts. Rainbow moved in to hear, and she noticed that Twilight was on the scene with Spike, too.

"Are you out of your little pony minds?!" Trixie cried, addressing Snips and Snails.

"What happened?" Rainbow asked, landing next to Twilight.

"We brought an Ursa to town to watch the Great and Powerful Trixie vanquish it!" Snails announced.

"You what!?!" Twilight shouted.

"Oh, I can't, I never have! No one can vanquish an Ursa Major! I just made the whole story up to make me look better!" Trixie confessed, bowing her head in shame. The Ursa was close now, and Spike looked at Twilight and Rainbow Dash with panic. Rainbow was worried. She knew NOTHING about Ursas or how to deal with them...but Twilight did. Rainbow and the rest of the town watched as Twilight used her to magic to SOMEHOW get the monster to sleep and back into it's home in the Everfree. (Rainbow forgot the important details in the panic and shock of the moment, but all that mattered was that Twilight had saved the day by being AWESOME!)

"Please don't hate me..." Twilight whispered as the crowd cheered for her.

"Hate you?" Rainbow echoed, confused.

"I saw how much you hated Trixie's showing off, and..."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Magic's got nothing to do with it. Trixie's just a loudmouth, even for a travelling show mare," Rainbow explained. "AND she's a liar. I sent a letter to the mayor of Hoofington today to ask about the stories...and she says that she never even heard of Trixie!"

"That brings up another point...Trixie's stories intrigued me so much that I did some reading on the subject. Turns out that it's not possible to vanquish an Ursa Major, or if it is, no one has recorded it yet! THAT was just an Ursa Minor!"

"Well, if that was an Ursa Minor, then what's an Ursa Major like?" Spike asked.

"...you don't wanna know," Twilight replied.

"Hmph! You may have vanquished an Ursa Minor, but you will never have the amazing, show-stopping ability of the Great and Powerful Trixie!" The blue mare sneered, threw a smoke bomb to the ground, and was last seen galloping away as the smoke cleared. Derpy looked ready to chase her, but...

"Ah, let her go," Rainbow waved it off. "If she REALLY causes trouble again, I'll just issue a royal decree prohibiting her from performing in Ponyville! Now...about you two..." She turned to Snips and Snails, who cowered in fear.

"Have mercy, oh Awesome Princess Rainbow Dash," Snails begged. "We'll do anything you want!"

"...well..." Rainbow stroked her chin, pretending to be deep in thought. "I do have some ideas...for starters, you can repair Sassaflash's roof." She pointed to a house. The Ursa had bitten into the roof of it during the rampage. "And we WILL talk to your parents and teacher about this. They'll have to punish you, too. And...Twilight, do you have any ideas?"

"Number twenty-five!"

"...I have no idea what that is, but okay!"

Rarity had restored her mane to the proper color and gotten a good night's sleep after that nasty business with the Ursa Minor. She woke up now, stretched, and began to think of the work she had for the day. She had just gotten some magnificent ideas for a new collection! They came to her in a dream. She smiled and removed her sleeping mask, only to see...

"WHO THE BUCK PAINTED MY HOME GREEN?" Everything was painted green. The walls were olive green. The furniture was forest green. The carpet was lime green. When Rarity ran from the bedroom to her work room, she saw that the mannequins had been painted sea green. All of her fabric was missing...except for the green ones. Rarity ran outside of her home and saw that the exterior was now various shades of emerald green and spring green. She threw her head back and screamed to the heavens:

"WHY?!?"

Back at Sweet Apple Acres, Apple Fritter's ears perked up as she heard the wails of a certain Unicorn. "Did you hear something?" She asked Granny Smith.

"Must have been your imagination, dearie," the elderly pony replied, and Apple Fritter turned and winked at Carrot Top.

Author's Note

Thank you guys SO much for all of the positive feedback and constructive criticism! You guys are super helpful and give me the desire to become a better writer!

The Mayor of Hoofington, Cream Draft, is my OC...I think...I mean, I just grabbed a name from the list of horse breeds...and do we know if Hoofington has a mayor? If it does, what's his/her name? Anyway, I think I'll incorporate Cream Draft and her history with Rainbow Dash into the story!

Also, did Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy do anything important in Boast Busters? Did they even have a line?

Rainbow Dash's time at Canterlot Academy will be explored more in this story!

The Chapter with a lot of Acronyms (TCwaloA)

Princess Rainbow Dash

Dearest Diary,

My rather clever method of keeping my entries on various scrolls to avoid discovery of my secrets has been thwarted. The scrolls have all gone missing, and although I suspect foul play, I have no evidence to support my suspicions.

I was pleasantly surprised when Princess Cadance overheard my wailing understood my dilemma and offered a solution: this journal. The ink disappears after I write in it, but will reappear at my will. I suppose I should thank her. But I'll probably forget.

Today was uneventful, for the most part. Auntie Celestia was right: I shouldn't have eaten that cake. My suit for the Gala is too tight and I must lose the weight before the party. I asked my council for advice. Mr. Fuzzy Bottom thinks that I should eat less at every meal. Sergeant Snuffles agrees. He thinks that perfect control over my calorie intake will keep me from swelling up like a marshmallow.

Sometimes I hate my life. And my servants. They are SO annoying. So, I had to carry my OWN bed sheets to the washing room. And I got there, and the servants are washing THEIR things so I turn to one of them and I'm like, "May I throw in my sheets with your one handkerchief?" And she's all like, "No!" And I'm all like, "Whatever."

Maybe my special talent is washing...yes, dear diary, I have a confession. You've known me for many years and I finally feel comfortable sharing this with you: I have no cutie mark. I've had a servant paint one on me every morning ever since the day after Princess Rainbow Dash's coronation. Le sigh...I'm too tired to think about it anymore. I'm going to get some royal beauty sleep.

I love you, Diary,
Prince Blueblood

Back in her bedroom, Cadance sat on her bed with her own magical book in front of her. She laughed and watched as Blueblood's hoof writing appeared in the pages of her book. "Oooooh, he's going to HATE me for this!" She giggled. "I had no idea he had a collection of stuffed animals!" She closed the cover of her book when Prince Blueblood appeared in her doorway.

"The new book isn't working. The words aren't reappearing after I write them."

"Oh, you need to write A LOT before the words start reappearing," Cadance explained. "You must have written only a little bit. Try it again." Blueblood left, and Cadance opened her book again, reading the words with sadistic glee.

In Ponyville, Rainbow Dash was suffering from a severe case of "Princess Wanting More" Syndrome (PWMS). She decided that the best way to express the symptoms and reach a cure would be to write to Princess Celestia...and sing along as she wrote the words! "'It isn't that I'm ungrateful for all the things that I've learned...blah blah blah...I'm not a great songwriter or whatever...I want to have a magical contribution...I want to have a pretty castle of my own...by which I mean a pretty awesome castle! Not that the Cloudimonium isn't awesome, but a castle would be cooler...' Hey, I almost hit that note!" She observed with glee. She placed the letter in an envelope, stuck her head out the window, and called for Derpy. Derpy had gotten more than just the promotion she wanted: she was now the Official Messenger for Princess Rainbow Dash (OMPRD)! Derpy would not rest day or night until Rainbow Dash's messages were sent, read, and replied to. This was why it took her less than an hour to make the trip from Ponyville to Canterlot and back to Ponyville! "Oh, two letters?" Rainbow observed when Derpy appeared.

"Yep! One of them is from Princess Celestia. See you later, Dash!" Derpy waved before continuing on her normal mail route. Rainbow tore open the first envelope and read the Sun Princess's hoofwriting aloud:

"'You're not ready for a solo song or a castle of your own. Cadance isn't, either. You both must be patient. As for your special spell, you must wait and discover it on your own time.'" How did she know I was singing? Is she spying on me? Creepy... She placed that letter aside and opened the second letter. A more relaxed smile appeared when she recognized Cadance's informal signature.

"'Dear Rainbow Dash, enclosed are copies of Blueblood's latest diary entries. Use them well. Love from Candy.'" Rainbow grinned. "I gotta show these to Pinkie Pie!" She flew from her Cloudimonium and headed for the park about a block away from the Town Square...but when she arrived, she saw that the ponies looked concerned...Twilight was making a speech of some sort...no, an announcement?

"Smoke is spreading all over Equestria!" Really? All over Equestria? "But don't worry, I've just received a letter from Princess Celestia informing me that it's not coming from a fire!" Why didn't she just tell me this in the letter she sent me? "It's coming from a dragon!" WHAT?

Later, at the Golden Oak Library...

"What in the name of all things cinnamon swirl is a full-grown dragon doing in Equestria?" Applejack wondered. All of the Elements of Harmony had been gathered together for this...mission? Does she want us to use the Elements of Harmony to send it to the moon or something? That kinda makes sense...I guess...

"You DO know that dragons ARE commonly found on the outskirts of Equestria, right? That they fly over Equestria yearly? That several dragon eggs are abandoned every year, making it easy for ponies to take spare eggs and study them once they hatch? It's KIND of related to how Twilight ended up with Spike!" Rainbow facehoofed.

"...this doesn't answer mah question..."

"Sleeping," Twilight replied.

"Huh?" WHAT?

"According to Princess Celestia, he's taking a nap. His snoring is what's causing all the smoke," she explained.

"He should REALLY see a doctor. That doesn't sound healthy at all!" Pinkie said.

"Why didn't Celestia tell us this sooner?? I mean, how many ponies are down here? We could have evacuated and relocated a long time ago to prevent the stress AND keep the dragon happy! Also, why has he JUST started snoring now? How long has he been asleep?" Rainbow demanded, folding her arms.

"At least he's not snoring fire!" Rarity pointed out. "But what are WE meant to do about it?" Are we just going to ignore my questions? ...okay...

"I'll tell you what we're gonna do! We're gonna give him the boot! TAKE THAT!" Rainbow kicked a bust of a horse's head. Twilight hurried to straighten it up with her magic.

"We need to ENCOURAGE him to sleep somewhere else. Princess Celestia has given us this mission, and if we fail, Equestria will be covered in smoke for the next hundred years!" Which brings me back to my original questions...how long has he been asleep? Why has he JUST started snoring? Oh, maybe I'm thinking too hard about this...I should get in the spirit!

One awesome preparation montage later...

"It looks cold up there..." Applejack observed, gazing at the mountain. The ponies had gathered back at Twilight's library with supplies, including food rations, party favors, assorted gloves and scarves, and protective gear. Rainbow Dash only brought one thing with her: her awesomeness! And Twilight had the map, which she was examining now. Rainbow looked at the mountain and smiled.

"You bet it is! The higher you go, the chillier it gets!" She said, shivering. The great thing about Pegasus ponies was that they weren't easily affected by heat or cold. They had a high tolerance for both. Rainbow always suspected that her tolerance increased when she became an Alicorn, but now would be a great chance to find out!

"Good thing I brought my scarf!" Rarity chirped, wrapping herself in a pink article of clothing. Rainbow snorted.

"Yeah, THAT'LL keep you nice and toasty." She noticed Twilight examining the map of the mountains and Fluttershy chasing after Spike and some of her animal friends. Spike would be in charge of the wildlife while the Elements were on this mission, and Rainbow thought of at least two ponies who could take care of the animals better than Spike: Big Mac, who had experience with animals from being a farmer, and Carrot Top, who knew which carrots rabbits liked the most. Anyway, Rainbow decided to approach Twilight and ask:

"Hey Twilight, how come YOU get to lead this mission? I'm the princess, so shouldn't I be leading?"

"Princess Celestia said I'm the leader," Twilight shrugged.

"I mean, I'm not upset or anything, I'm just wondering..." Rainbow cocked her head to the side, lost in thought for a moment. "Anyway, are you sure you want Fluttershy to come along? I mean, that pony IS scared of her own shadow...she's just gonna slow us down, and I don't want to put her in a situation where she feels like she's being forced to do something she doesn't want to do..." Rainbow's voice trailed off.

"Oh, she's just a little nervous. Once we get going, I'm sure she'll be fine!" Twilight chirped. She turned to the rest of the group. "All right girls, move out!" They galloped towards the mountain, carrying a screaming Fluttershy with them.

Later, at the mountain...

Wow, this episode does jump locations a lot, doesn't it?

Pinkie Pie, get out of the fourth wall! Ahem...later, at the mountain...

Earthquakes and other strange tremors shook the ground as the Elements reached the mountain. The ruckus was almost frightening. "What is that?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Is it the dragon?"

"THAT'S what it sounds like when a dragon snores," Twilight confirmed.

"...even Spike?"

"Yes, but not quite THIS loud...and when he snores, he doesn't breathe smoke."

"I should hope not!" Rarity replied.

Fluttershy was looking up the mountain. "It's...it's so...high..."

"Well, it IS a mountain," Rainbow said. "I'm going to fly up there and check it out!" She started to move upward, but Applejack grabbed her tail.

"Whoa, hold up there, sugarcube. Ah think we should all go up there together. Safety in numbers and all." Sheesh...I thought I was the Element of Loyalty?

"Fine..." Rainbow groaned.

About an hour later...

"I hear that the only things that sparkle more than the dragon's scales are the jewels they use to decorate their nests!" They had barely made any progress climbing the mountain, and Rarity was fawning over the dragon already. "If I play my cards right, I might be able to convince him to part with a few!"

"'Welcome to my cave, Rarity,'" Pinkie Pie said in her gruffest voice. "'Care for a diamond? ROAR!'" The other ponies, including Rarity, laughed, but Twilight took charge once again.

"This is no laughing matter! Fluttershy, you're the expert on wildlife. What do you think the dragon will be like?" No response. "Fluttershy?" The yellow Pegasus was still at the base of the mountain, looking up at her friends.

"Hey! What are you waiting for? An invitation?" Rainbow Dash demanded.

"Ooooh, I think I have one in my bag!" Pinkie Pie said, digging through her saddlebag. The rest of the group heard pops and whistles and kazoos coming from the party pony's supplies. What does she have in there? A supplies party? Heh...a SUPPLIES party...I made a pun!

"It's so...steep..." Fluttershy trembled.

"You could just, oh I don't know, FLY up here?" Rainbow rolled her eyes.

"Come on, Fluttershy, you can do it. Flap those wings!" Pinkie cheered. Fluttershy groaned and arched her back upwards, but her wings remained stuck to her body, like they had been glued there.

"We don't have time for this!" Twilight groaned.

"Here, watch this." Rainbow's horn sparked, and Fluttershy was surrounded by a light, brilliant red magical aura. "See, Twilight? It's called 'levitation'. I use this to lift ponies and objects off of the ground. Oooooooooh..." Rainbow waved her hooves, pretending to be mystical. Twilight rolled her eyes. "Don't worry, Fluttershy, I'll put you down once we're on a steadier place on the mountain," Rainbow promised.

"Yay..." Fluttershy whispered.

A little while later...

Wow, this chapter also goes through long time transitions! Don't you ever wonder what they talked about on the trip? What discoveries they made about each other?

NO, PINKIE PIE. GET OUT OF THE FOURTH WALL.

I'LL NEVER LEAVE! NEVER! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Um...anyway...

"Ah have to admit, Princess RD, you were right," Applejack said after a while. "Carrying Fluttershy did save us a lot of time..."

"It would have been harder if you guys went around the mountain," Rainbow nodded. They reached a small gape in the road. Twilight, Rarity, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie jumped across it. Rainbow Dash flew across, then looked behind at Fluttershy. She had placed Fluttershy down a short while ago. "Do I need to float you over again?" She asked when she saw that Fluttershy was quivering in fear. Don't tell me she's scared of heights, too...sheesh, I should have remembered all of this from our days at camp... She charged her horn up and levitated the yellow Pegasus across the ledge.

"Aw," Pinkie Pie pouted. "I had a whole song planned out for her! Want to hear it anyway?"

"No thanks..."

"It's not very far, just move your little rump, you can make it if you try with a hop, skip and jump!"

"Oh, no..." Rainbow groaned.

"A hop, skip and jump, just move your little rump, a hop, skip and jump, a hop, skip and jump, a hop, skip and jump, a hop, skip and jump, a hop, skip and jump!"

"Be quiet!" Twilight hissed. "According to my map, we're entering an avalanche zone. The smallest peep could cause a huge rock slide." The others nodded and proceeded in silence. Rainbow Dash was still flying, and she brushed against the top of a small tree. She must have done that millions of times before all over Equestria, so she thought nothing of it. She also thought nothing of the small leaf that floated down and landed on Fluttershy's rump.

"AVALANCHE!" The startled Pegasus screamed. Applejack shoved her hoof in her mouth, but it was too late. The scream echoed throughout the mountain. But that wasn't what caused the avalanche. It was the collective sigh all members of the group gave when they thought that the danger had passed.

It started as just a few pebbles falling from the higher parts of the mountain. Then the pebbles became rocks...then boulders...giant boulders... Applejack tackled Twilight Sparkle to save her from being crushed by one of the larger bits of debris, and Rainbow Dash swooped in and picked up Rarity and Pinkie Pie to keep them out of harm's way. When it was all over, there was a large, dirt-brown pile standing in the middle of the path.

"Whoo-hoo! Let's do it again!" Pinkie Pie cheered. Rainbow facehoofed.

"This is why a girl ALWAYS packs extra accessories!" Rarity exclaimed, wrapping her scarf around her neck and brushing the dirt off of her perfect white coat. "Oh, PLEASE tell me that I brought the tiara that matches this..."

"Uh, I think we've got bigger problems than making sure our hair bows match our horseshoes," Rainbow said, pointing to the avalanche aftermath.

"Oh, please, you're just upset because you forgot your tiara!"

"...I never wear my crown!"

"This isn't a big deal," Twilight said, focusing on what Rainbow Dash had said. Wow, someone actually realized I was talking? That feels like a first... "We'll just have to...climb over..."

"OR I could just carry us over, one at a time!" Rainbow Dash suggested.

"Nah, don't worry, sugarcube, we've got it," Applejack said as she started to climb. Well...I guess it was too good to be true... Fluttershy stumbled over her own hooves as she climbed up, and during the climb down, she tripped and caused Rarity and Pinkie Pie to bump into each other. Rainbow sighed and flew ahead to talk to Twilight.

"Still think it was a good idea to bring Fluttershy along?"

"We're about to find out!" They had reached the source of the smoke: the opening to the dragon's home. "Rainbow Dash, do you think you can use your wings to clear some of the smoke?" Rainbow nodded and flew up into the dirty air. Alicorn wings are the best! "Rarity and Pinkie Pie, you'll create a diversion to distract the dragon if things get a little hairy in there." Rarity nodded, and Pinkie Pie pulled a squeaky rubber chicken out of her saddlebag.

"...where do you get these things, Pinkie Pie?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Well, Mr. and Mrs. Cake are about to have a foal, so they have a bunch of these toys lying around the nursery! I thought I'd bring one with me! I never know when I'll be needing one!" Well, that answers one of my questions... Rainbow thought with a shrug.

"Applejack, you're ready with the apples in case he decides to attack. But it shouldn't come to that, because Fluttershy will do what she needs to do to wake him up, and between the two of us, we should be able to get him to understand why he needs to go. Is everypony ready?" Twilight concluded.

There was a chorus of "ready"s.

"Okay then, we're goin' in," Twilight announced as she trotted into the cave. "So, what is the best way to wake up a sleeping dragon without upsetting him? Fluttershy?" The yellow Pegasus hadn't even entered the cave. She just trembled outside, her face buried in the dirt. "Come on! We have to do this!" Twilight grunted, trying to push the Pegasus up. The others joined in, but Fluttershy wouldn't budge an inch.

"I...I can't go in the cave..." She confessed.

"Oh, great. She's scared of caves now, too," Rainbow groaned.

"I'm NOT scared of caves. I'm scared of dragons." Of course she is...

"Oh, come on! We've seen you walk up to a horrible Manticore like it was nothing!"

"Yes...because it wasn't a dragon..."

"Spike is a dragon! You're not scared of him!" Pinkie grinned.

"Yes, but..."

"So just pretend that you're talking to Spike! Peace of cake, right?" Rainbow said with false enthusiasm.

"No! Spike isn't a huge, gigantic, terrifying, enormous, teeth-gnashing, sharp-scale having, horn-wearing, smoke-snoring, could eat a pony in one bite, totally all grown-up dragon!" Fluttershy cried.

"Listen, we're all scared of that dragon," Applejack reassured her.

"I'm not!" Rainbow boasted.

"...ALMOST all of us are scared of that dragon," Applejack corrected. "But we've got a job to do!"

"I...I just can't..." Fluttershy trotted away, her head bowed in sadness and defeat. The others watched her go with a mixture of pity and disappointment.

"Don't worry, we can still do this," Twilight said, trying to stay optimistic. "Let's stick to the original plan. I'm going in to talk to the dragon." She walked into the cave, still talking, but mostly to herself now. "He... probably just doesn't realize what he's doing. Right?"

"Right!" The others agreed from their safe positions outside of the cave. Maybe one of us should go in with her...maybe it should be me, Element of Loyalty and all...but I gotta stay here and clear out some of the smoke! Rainbow flapped her wings above the ground, listening to Twilight's interaction with the dragon.

"Oh, good, you're awake." How can you POSSIBLY sound so nonchalant? "Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Twilight..." The dragon groaned, and Rainbow caught a whiff of smoke. Twilight got hit with the dragon's breath more, because she started coughing. "...Sparkle, and my friends and I are residents here in Equestria. Ponyville, to be exact. We've come her to ask that you find another spot to take your nap. It's just that you seem to be doing an awful lot of snoring, and every time you do you send out a terrible cloud of smoke." Could have phrased that a LITTLE more delicately...I mean, I wouldn't like it if anypony came up to me and started criticizing MY snores...wait, do I even snore? Or talk in my sleep? Or sleep-walk? See, this is why I need a roommate... "Equestria simply can't survive a hundred years in a dark haze. You understand, don't you?"

"So much for persuading him..." Rainbow coughed.

"This just calls for a little pony charm!" Rarity said with a dismissive wave of her hoof. She trotted into the cave, and the others listened in horror and intrigue as she spoke to the dragon. "But I couldn't possibly head back home without mentioning what handsome scales you have! And those scales have to be hidden away in some silly cave for a hundred years?" Rainbow Dash smirked. Maybe I should try this tactic to get out of some boring thing around the castle... "Personally, I think you should skip the snoozing and be out there, showing them off!" Wait, don't encourage the dragon to wake up...just make him sleep somewhere else... "Obviously, I would be more than happy to keep an eye on your jewels while you're gone!" NO! NO! BAD RARITY! BAD ELEMENT OF GENEROSITY! This OBVIOUSLY made the dragon angry, and he sent Rarity running from the cave with no jewels. "I was THIS close to getting that diamond..." Rarity pouted.

"You mean, getting rid of the dragon?" Twilight asked.

"Oh, yeah, sure..."

"What in tarnation?" Applejack gasped. The others looked at Pinkie Pie, who had balloons sticking out of her tail and mane. She wore a ridiculous pair of red sunglasses and blue swim flippers. Most of her body was hidden by a large green box, and she blew on the party horn in her mouth.

"Darling, you look ridiculous!" Rarity declared.

"Exactly! Sharing a laugh is a sure-fire way to get someone on your side!" Pinkie said as she waddled into the cave. She only said one word to the dragon: "Hi!" But there was a crash, and Pinkie waddled out, defeated. "I guess he doesn't like laughter...or sharing..."

"All right, that's it! We tried persuasion, charm, whatever it is Pinkie Pie does. Applejack, do you have any ideas?" Rainbow groaned, turning to the Earth pony. Let's consider all of the options before I use my Awesome Alicorn Abilities (AAA) on this dragon...

"'Fraid not...Ah don't think dragons really like apples..." Applejack shrugged. "And Ah'm not about to provoke it."

"Well, then it's my turn! It's time to stop wasting time! I'm going in!" Rainbow zoomed into the cave. "GET. OUT!" She shouted, charging her horn and summoning a freaking enormous storm cloud. A bolt of lightning shot from the cloud and struck the dragon in the face. The dragon blinked, sneezed, and glared at the princess, growling. "Uh...sorry...?" Rainbow offered a sheepish smile. "You know, I do have some connections over in Canterlot, have you heard of it? Maybe we can all get a cause together and find a new place for you to sleep..." The dragon roared and sent Rainbow flying from the cave. Okay, he's not interested...note to self, NEVER use royalty in the presence of a dragon. They won't be interested! As soon as Rainbow got to her hooves, she saw that her friends were running and screaming, and they had a good reason to: the dragon was leaving his home. He gave another mighty roar, which sent all of the ponies backwards, crashing into a rock. The rock split in half, revealing Fluttershy hiding on the other side of it. So you were just gonna sit here and watch us potentially get hurt? Thanks, Element of Kindness... But then Fluttershy's teal eyes narrowed...

"How dare you...how dare you! Listen here, mister! Just because you're big doesn't mean you get to be a bully. You may have huge teeth, and sharp scales, and snore smoke, and breathe fire. But you do not...I repeat...you do not! Hurt! My! Friends! You got that?" She was literally up in the dragon's face, perched on his nose, inches away from his eye, glaring into the pupil. Wow...remind me to never get on her bad side...

"But that rainbow one hurt me..." The dragon pointed out in his grumbling voice. Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. Yeah. You think? You mess with Equestria, you taste the PAINbow...was that another pun? He began to cry.

"There, there. No need to cry. You're not a bad dragon, you just made a bad decision. Now go pack your things. You just need to find a new place to sleep. That's all," Fluttershy cooed. With that, the dragon spread his wings and took off. Dragon wings are so much cooler than Alicorn wings...how come Spike doesn't have wings?

As soon as the dragon was but a speck in the sky, the ponies cheered. "I knew you could do it, Fluttershy!" Twilight said, grabbing the Pegasus for a hug.

"I'll admit that I had my doubts, but you did good, Flutters," Rainbow said, joining in the hug. "From now on, you're going on as many royal missions as possible!"

"Yay..." Fluttershy whispered.

Author's Note

Cadance: What? You thought that the magical books Celestia and Sunset Shimmer used were the only ones in existence? Do you know how it easy it was to make copies of books like that?

So Rainbow Dash has sung her own versions of "Life in Equestria" and "You'll Play Your Part"...okay! :applejackunsure: What do you think her magical talent is? Is it creating rainbow colored lightning bolts? Creating a new color of the rainbow? Spreading awesomeness to other ponies? Giving ponies the ability to fly? WHAT? What could it be? Share your thoughts!

...speaking of stuffed animals, my dog decided to sneak into my room today and play with my Mane Six plushies and Build-A-Bear Celestia...and my little Funrise Octavia...thank goodness I don't have Woona and Candy for her to ruin... :raritydespair:

In good news, though...the next episode is Look Before You Sleep. I'm not a big fan of this episode, and Rainbow Dash isn't in it at all, and we all know what this means, right? ALICORN PRINCESS SLUMBER PARTY!

I'm also planning a chapter based on one of the comics with Rainbow Dash and Trixie...I think you know which one I'm talking about. The one with the Diamond Dogs~

Alicorn Princess Slumber Party! Hurrah!

Princess Rainbow Dash

Rainbow yawned. As a government official in Ponyville...or at least, a royal figure...she had to be on top of things like the weather scheduled for the week. On this particular week, a strong thunderstorm was planned. Rainbow Dash was looking forward to it. The sun seemed to shine all the time in Ponyville, and a little bit of rain would be refreshing. She stretched her wings and flew from her house, headed for the Town Square. Then...

"Hey, Rainbow Dash!" It was Derpy, dressed in her mailpony uniform. "I've got a letter from Princess Celestia!" She reached into her saddlebag and procured it, giving it to the princess and flying off. It was Tuesday, one of her busier days of the week. Rainbow watched her fly away before she opened the letter and read:

"'My dear Princess Rainbow Dash, the annual Alicorn slumber party is upon us, and this year we are joined by my sister, Princess Luna. We look forward to seeing you tonight. Yours truly, Princess Celestia.' She didn't even ask if I could make it!" Rainbow groaned. "Guess I'm gonna have to miss the rain showers..."

When Rainbow Dash arrived at Canterlot Castle, the first thing she did was head to Cadance's room. The pink Alicorn was there, along with Fleur-Dis-Lee. "I couldn't have done it without you," Cadance was saying.

"Anything for my favorite princess," Fleur replied with a wink.

"I thought I was your favorite princess?" Rainbow laughed as she stepped into the room. Fleur's eyes widened.

"Oh, hey Princess Rainy!" She giggled. "I was actually thinking about you when I brought this over!"

"Brought what over?"

"You'll see," she said with a wink. She waved one last time at Cadance before she took her leave. As soon as they were alone, Rainbow Dash turned on Cadance.

"I thought we weren't supposed to use nicknames for each other in public!"

"I don't!" Cadance replied, her eyes wide and innocent. "I only call you 'Rainy' when you and I are alone...or when Fleur and I are alone!" She giggled. Rainbow rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you have any idea what we're going to do for the sleepover? And what did Fleur bring over that was so important?"

"I thought you'd never ask!" Cadance grinned. Using her magic, she levitated two things over to the cyan mare. The first was a large, but elegant box containing hoof polish in every color imaginable, lotions, hair curlers, and towels. Rainbow groaned and looked at the second object: a sheet of parchment with the following written on it:

Slumber Party To-Do List:
Watch Luna raise the moon
Spa Treatment and Makeovers
Catch Luna up on more things she's missed
Sleep (?)

"Twilight Sparkle told me that she wants to have a slumber party at some point," Cadance informed Rainbow as they walked to Luna's chambers. The pink Alicorn had her lovely mane pulled back in a ponytail. She looked younger, more relaxed than she did when she wore her formal attire. Rainbow hated her own royal regalia: the tiara, the fancy horseshoes, the necklaces. It made her feel too superior and fancy...and taller. Alicorns were already taller than their peers."I sent her a book about the basics of slumber parties," Cadance continued. "I hope she skims it...she never had any parties when she was just a filly..."

"Knowing her, she'll probably have an essay ready on Saturday," Rainbow joked. Cadance laughed, and the Lunar guards opened the doors to the chamber of the Moon Princess. Rainbow stepped inside. The room was beautiful and dark. The only lights came from the ceiling, where a replica of the night sky and all the constellations and planets was painted. Several of the stars seemed to glow and twinkle, and Rainbow wondered, briefly, if the light of the night sky was what gave life to this replica. She shook her head and looked away and at the rest of the room. There was a large, lavish bed for the princess, but three queen-sized inflatable mattresses had been brought in for the guests. Celestia lounged on one of them.

"Hello, niece and Rainbow Dash," she greeted with her trademark warm smile.

"Hello, Auntie Celestia," Cadance replied.

"S'up?" Rainbow smirked.

"Hello, everypony!" Rainbow spun around to see the last Alicorn to join them, and her mouth fell open. There were only a few traces of the weak, defeated mare from the Summer Sun Celebration. This Princess Luna was taller than Cadance by at least an inch. Her coat was darker and her mane, although still the same shade of light blue, seemed to sparkle in a certain light. Luna smiled.

"I know, isn't it wonderful? Tia has been so helpful...I might have all the properties of my old mane back in a fortnight!"

"Maybe even sooner!" 'Tia' said, approaching her sister. She nuzzled the top of her head for a brief moment, then pulled away to address the other two guests. "Are we all ready for the spa treatment?" She clapped her hooves. Masseuse ponies entered the chambers. "Sit down," Celestia said to the other princesses. "We've earned this break. It's so exhausting, being a princess."

"You don't have to tell me twice," Rainbow said, stretching out on one of the mattresses. "I'll have the Hummingbird Herbal treatment on my wings, please," she said to the pony awaiting her orders. "But NO HOOFICURE." There was only so much pampering and makeovers that she could take!

"I haven't had a hooficure in a thousand years," Luna sighed, her eyes closed. She was at peace as one pony massaged her back and another began to apply a coat of polish to her hooves. "This is the life..."

"So, Luna, what have you been up to?" Rainbow asked, tilting her head to look at the blue Alicorn.

"Regaining my strength," she replied. "I'm a little out of practice with raising and lowering the moon...but I think I have enough strength to do so in a few days. And I shall continue to explore the dreams of the little ponies."

"Ooooh, you HAVE to watch this, it's super cool!" Celestia giggled. She brought her hooves together. "Servants, leave us!" She said to the masseuse ponies.

"We don't work for you," one muttered under his breath as he left. Rainbow and the others didn't hear him; they were too focused on Luna, who had opened her eyes. The pupils and irises were gone. An unearthly white glow shone there instead, and she began mumbling to herself in various tones of voice.

"No, I don't think he's going to leave you...yes, that is a painful boo-boo, but I think that can be fixed...well, why don't you turn on the light? Thanks, Silver...bring me that plant over there...you need to sign your name up first...oh, for the love of me...that's not going to happen!" The bright light faded from her eyes. She blinked, registering her surroundings, then scowled. "Why are you all looking at me like that?"

"Anything interesting?" Celestia asked, using her hoof in an attempt to cover her laughter.

"Just a few nightmares and wet dreams," Luna yawned. "Nothing too serious. Twilight Sparkle seems to be suffering from a recurring nightmare about being sent to magic Kindergarden...."

Cadance snorted. "That's Twilight, all right...also, I can't believe you didn't raise the moon tonight..."

"Twilight is such an egg head!" Rainbow laughed. Luna cocked her head to the side.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Oh, it's just an expression!" Cadance explained.

"It means someone is nerdy!" Rainbow added.

"...what is 'nerdy'? And why would you make fun of the shape of someone's head? Especially if it is an egg...? Are eggs humorous?"

"No...but...erm...why do we say 'egghead', Candy?" Rainbow asked, a slight blush creeping onto her face. She had used this playful insult so many times, but never once did she consider the origins of the expression! Doing that would make HER an egghead!

"How should I know?" Cadance shrugged.

"You're the one who spent pretty much eighty percent of her princesshood foalsitting the egghead!"

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I know everything there is about eggheads!" She gasped. "Are...are you implying that I'm an egghead?"

"Well, when you put it like that..." Rainbow shrugged and smirked.

Cadance gasped again. "I just realized something..."

"What? What is it?" Rainbow still had the smirk on her face.

"YOU'RE the one who realized Twilight was an egghead. Doesn't it take one to know one?" The pink Alicorn smirked back. Rainbow frowned and charged up her horn, levitating a pillow.

"Take that back!"

"Nope!"

"TAKE. THAT. BACK!" She yelled, tossing the pillow. She aimed at Cadance, but it hit Celestia instead. "Oh, no..."

"PILLOW FIGHT!" The white Alicorn proclaimed in her Royal Canterlot Voice.

Rainbow Dash's Log: Day 310

When will the feud end? The pillows have caused more casualties than any Equestrian war. It has been many months since I have seen my foals...do they remember their mother's face...?

"You don't have any kids!" Luna hissed. Rainbow yelped and crumpled up the sheet of parchment.

"I was just creating a comedic effect! Also, don't read over my shoulder, okay?"

"Fair enough," Luna shrugged, launching a pillow over the Fortress of Fluffiness at Celestia and Cadance's Great Wall of Pillow. "Incoming projectile on the port side!"

"I'm on it!" Rainbow shouted, leaping to the front of the lines, blocking a pillow and saving a large portion of the fortress.

"Time out!" Celestia shouted, raising both of her hooves.

"Do you surrender?" Luna grinned.

"No, I said 'time out'! There's a difference! I'm tired and need my beauty rest. Can we sign a truce or something until the next sleepover?"

"...oh, very well...does anyone have a large piece of parchment, or did Rainbow use all of it on her stupid war log?"

"Hey!"

A few hours later...

Half of the Alicorns were asleep. Luna dozed in her own bed, and Celestia snored from her mattress next to her sister's bed. Cadance and Rainbow had shoved their mattresses against the wall so that they could have a conversation facing each other. Rainbow opened her eyes and tapped Cadance's head. "Hey."

"Hey," the pink princess said, shifting to face Rainbow.

"I can't sleep."

"Me neither. Remember our first slumber party?"

"You betcha!"

Flashback Time...

Rainbow clutched a pillow in her mouth as she stood outside of Cadance's royal chambers. The weather had been beautiful for at least a week...Celestia had arranged this for the coronations and excitement...but now there was a terrible thunderstorm. Rainbow Dash was spending another night in Canterlot. Her bed was large and soft, but as she lay in the dark, she became aware of how large the bed was and how there was plenty of room for monsters...normally she felt like she could handle the monsters...but that only applied if she was in her bed at home. Canterlot Bed Monsters might be totally different from Cloudsdale Bed Monsters! She needed help...and that was why she was in the teenage Alicorn's room. She tiptoed over to her bed and poked her until her eyes opened. "What is it, Rainbow Dash?" She yawned.

"I can't sleep. Can I stay in here for tonight?" Cadance nodded, and the cyan filly climbed into bed with her.

"Are you afraid?" Cadance whispered.

"Who said I was afraid of monsters? I'm not afraid of nothing!" Rainbow said, raising her voice.

"No, no, that's not what I meant!" Cadance hissed. "I meant...aren't you scared about what happens to us now? Are we going to live forever? I don't want that to happen..." Rainbow couldn't see her tears, but she could hear the pink Alicorn sobbing, so she reached her hoof out and placed it on the older pony's shoulder.

"I don't think we will...we just got these horns, right?"

"Right..."

"I think we're really more of 'winged Unicorns' than we are 'real Alicorns'," she shrugged. "Anyway, we're princesses now. If we end up being immortal, and I don't think we are, then we can do something to change that."

Cadance sniffled. "I hope you're right..." She pulled Rainbow into a hug. "Thank you..."

"No problem," Rainbow yawned. "I'm gonna get some shut-eye now..." She closed her eyes and turned over. She couldn't get to sleep. It was the horn! It was too distracting!

"Ugh, it's no use!" Cadance groaned after trying to sleep with a pillow over her face. "These horns are the worst!"

They had found out the next morning that Rainbow was right. They weren't real Alicorns, so they didn't have immortality. "Good times, huh?" Rainbow chuckled, remembering the relief on Cadance's face.

"Yeah...I've been thinking..."

"Hmm?"

"When I became a princess and an Alicorn, I got my cutie mark, but I don't know what it means. Aunt Celestia says it means something about my purpose as a princess, but what if I never find out?"

"I know that feeling," Rainbow sighed. "You have your fancy Love spell and the other two can control freaking planets...I have no idea what special magical powers I have!"

"We'll figure it out if we dream a little harder...I think that's usually what princesses do, anyway," Cadance replied, but something in her tone said she wasn't sure about her own solution. "We should get some sleep...you're going back to Ponyville tomorrow morning and I have a date in the afternoon."

"Shining Armor hasn't proposed?"

"Not yet."

"Goodnight Candy."

"Goodnight Rainy."

Both mares closed their eyes and fell asleep to the sound of Celestia singing in her sleep:

"...trust me when I say that when you dream a little harder, you're sure to muddle through...because if you're good and you're attractive, no need to be proactive, good things will just happen to you..."

Luna chose that moment to sit up and lightly slap her sister. "Wake up and go to sleep..."

"Wha? What's going on?"

"You were singing in your sleep."

"Again?"

"Again."

"Buck, I should really see a doctor about that..."

Author's Note

I have caught myself talking in my sleep before, and some of the things Luna said were things actually said by me (the plant and the name). :rainbowlaugh: Anyway, what's the next episode?

...oh. Bridle Gossip. One of my least favorite episodes... *sigh* I guess I should go rewatch it...

Thank you all so much for your support! You guys are the best!

Oh, and the song Celestia sings is from Twisted: The Untold Story of a Royal Vizier!

Rainbow's First Stalker

Princess Rainbow Dash

"...well, it was very nice to meet you, Zecora! Feel free to visit Ponyville anytime!" The cyan mare waved at the retreating zebra. Apparently the ponies in Ponyville were racist...or xenophobic...because they hid from Zecora the zebra whenever she came to Ponyville to do her shopping. Sure, it was a LITTLE weird that she lived in the Everfree Forest, but Rainbow Dash thought that made her cooler! Zebras can travel and do whatever they want...I'm not even supposed to go in the Everfree Forest! "Hey, everypony, come out now!" She shouted, cupping her hooves to her mouth. Ponies began to emerge from their houses and stores, cautious looks on their faces and in their eyes. Twilight was the only other one who didn't appear to be bothered by the mystery visitor. In fact, their day had started with her walking with Twilight and Spike to Ponyville's shopping district.

"Nice job on the weather today, Rainbow Dash!" Twilight had complimented.

"Oh, thanks, Twilight!" Rainbow had smiled. "It's nice to know somepony appreciates the work...seriously, though, where is everyone? I haven't seen anyone today except for you and Spike!"

"It's not a holiday, is it?" Twilight had asked.

"Not that I know of..." If it were up to me, every day would be Relax Day! Or Wonderbolt Appreciation Day...or Make Rainbow Dash a Wonderbolt Day...

Her thoughts had been interrupted when Pinkie Pie beckoned to them from the door to Sugarcube Corner. The princess, the bookworm, and her dragon were practically pulled inside by the pink party planner. Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy were also inside. They proceeded to explain to the Ponyville newcomers that they were hiding from the mysterious zebra Zecora, who would venture into Ponyville every so often and "frighten" the townsponies. Rainbow Dash had rolled her eyes after Pinkie Pie sang a song about her being an "evil enchantress", then trotted outside and up to the zebra. They talked for fifteen minutes or so, and the only thing that Rainbow Dash really found unnerving about her was the fact that she talked in rhyme. Does she plan this out in advance? Or is she a mind reader, so when a pony is talking, she's already planning out her well-versed response?

Now the ponies were back and doing their normal routines. Rainbow Dash had reunited with the other Elements. "I can't believe you didn't know that zebras came from Equidia, Twilight!" The princess said. "I thought you read books about this sort of thing!"

"And how did YOU know where zebras come from?" The lavender mare's eyes narrowed.

"...when I was in Canterlot Academy, I knew the daughter of the ambassador to the zebras," Rainbow sighed.

"Oooh, that must have been exciting!"

"...that's one way of looking at it..." She bit her lip and closed her eyes as a stream of painful memories came flooding back into her mind...

Many years ago...

Rainbow Dash yawned as she opened her locker door. The halls of Canterlot Academy were bustling with chattering students. How can anyone talk this much so early in the morning? She leaned her head against the cold metal of the locker door and gazed at her friend, Cream Draft. Cream was (of course) a cream-colored Earth pony with inky black hair. Her cutie mark was a piece of parchment being placed inside of an envelope. She was a little dorky compared to the princess, especially with her frizzy mane, glasses, and braces, but Rainbow hung out with her because she wasn't stuck-up and snooty, like so many of their classmates. "Check out the new girl," Cream whispered, her eyes flicking over to the lockers opposite theirs. "Her father is THE ambassador to the Changeling Hive and Equidia!"

"Oh, I can see the resemblance!" The filly, like her father, had a light pink coat and deep purple eyes. Rainbow Dash and Cadance had been forced to sit in on boring diplomatic meetings with Celestia and the leaders of neighboring nations. Rainbow Dash had seen this ambassador many times. His name was Lucky Jinx and he seemed eloquent and intelligent. As Rainbow stared at the new filly, she remembered that Lucky had talked about his family once or twice...yes, he did have a daughter! What was her name again? Milly? Marie? No, Mimi! Mimi Jinx!

"Oooh, did someone say 'new filly'?" Trixie Lulamoon had joined Rainbow and Cream. Her locker was further down the hall (the lockers were assigned alphabetically by the students' last names), but she always made time for her two friends before class started. "Let's see if she can pass my little test!" With that, she strutted over to Mimi and said:

"Hey, fresh meat! Trixie wants your lunch money!"

"Well, tell Trixie, whoever she is, that she will NOT have mine," the new filly snapped.

"....I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE!!" The blue mare boomed in her "stage" voice. Several students stopped what they were doing and looked in her direction, giggling.

"Do you mind? I'm trying to find my class in this filthy labyrinth of a school!" Mimi said in her lofty voice. Great, another snob, Rainbow observed from across the hall. Her dad is so much nicer.

"Whatever," Trixie huffed. "When you decide you want to survive this school, let Trixie know." She stormed over to the lockers across the hall. Mimi's eyes followed her. Her gaze lingered on Cream for a few minutes before focusing on Rainbow Dash. It only took a second, but then the new girl crossed the hallway, just giving off an air of confidence. Then she stood before the cyan filly and said:

"You're Princess Rainbow Dash..."

"Oh, please, call me Rainbow Dash!" The Alicorn smiled. Mimi also grinned.

"Hello...Rainbow Dash...I wasn't aware that you were enrolled in this school! This changes everything so much! Tell me, are you the elected class president?"

"Um, no, Cream Draft is really more of a LEADER leader than I am," Rainbow laughed, pointing to her friend. Mimi glanced at the Earth pony, offered a lukewarm smile, then turned back to Rainbow Dash.

"Whatever. Do you think you can show me around the school today? Give me the ROYAL tour, so to speak?"

"Uh, sure, I guess!" Rainbow shrugged. "Can I see your schedule?"

"Mm-hmm!" The filly handed the list of her classes over to Rainbow Dash. As the princess skimmed it, Cream and Trixie read the list over her shoulders. It turns out that the four of them only had one class together: fourth period Equestrian Law.

"Oh, that class is an easy A," Trixie informed her. "The teacher literally doesn't do anything. All he does is sit and talk about how Princess Celestia defeated her foes...literally. None of them were on trial! I think that our legal system is bucked!" She raised an eyebrow at Rainbow Dash, who offered a playful punch in her shoulder. The bell rang, signaling the start of the first period was upon them.

"We better go," Rainbow said to Mimi. "It was nice to see you, though. See you in class!"

In class...

"You know what the great thing about having a substitute in this class is?" Trixie whispered to Rainbow. She sat next to the Alicorn and Cream sat in front of her. Mimi was on the other side of the room. All of the students were putting effort in listening, but only a few of them managed to understand the teacher's lesson. Other students weren't bothering to hide that they weren't studying. They were busy chatting, preparing spitballs, or napping. And now one student stood up and crossed to Rainbow's desk. Oh...it was Mimi...

"Hello, Princess Rainbow Dash, I was wondering if you read any of the new books out?" She asked with a toothy grin.

"No, I'm not a big reading pony..."

"Oh, that's too bad, I think you'd like it. Hey, what are you working on?" Rainbow Dash, in an attempt to busy herself with something, had grabbed a Sudoku book off of Cream's desk and was staring at a random page with fascination.

"I'm just working on some Sue-doe-cue..."

"Huh, let me help!" Oh, no, just go away! Please! GO AWAY!

"Mimi, please sit down," the substitute teacher called. Rainbow breathed a sigh of relief and mouthed Thank you to the teacher when she was sure Mimi was back on her side of the room. Once the bell rang at the end of the class, she gathered her belongings and made a mad dash for the door.

"I want my Sudoku book back, Rainbow Dash!" Cream called after her.

Good Goddess, what a day! Rainbow mentally sighed as she climbed into her enormous fluffy bed. Mimi had followed her around the whole day and had talked about getting her schedule changed to have more classes with the princess. I hope that doesn't happen...there's only so much fan-filly-ness that I can take! The cyan princess turned off the lights and shut her eyes...only to snap them back open. There was someone else standing in her room... "Oh, no...Mimi, is that you...?"

"Hey, Princess Rainbow Dash, I was wondering if I could borrow your text book? Also, how did you know it was me?" The psycho filly grinned, stepping out of the shadows. A window was open, and the moonlight served as the only light needed to reveal the stalker. "I mean, duh, we have our classes together, but we've only known each other for less than a week!"

"...HOW THE BUCK DID YOU GET HERE?"

"Canterlot Castle is open to the public at all hours. And it wasn't easy to find out where your room was, but I did it! So, can I borrow your book?"

"GET THE BUCK OUT! GUARDS! GUARDS!"

"Wait, before I go, I needed your opinion on this dress! What colors do you think it is: blue and black, or white and gold? I think that it's white and gold."

"GUARDS!!!"

"You're right; it's probably blue and black," Mimi replied as two Pegasus guards charged into Rainbow's room and seized the intruder.

This was THE ONLY time Rainbow used her authority as a princess to throw someone out of the castle. And Mimi did NOT take the hint. She continued to follow Rainbow Dash around the school.

"Hey, Princess Rainbow Dash!" She called one day as she followed her to their fourth period classroom.

"H-hey," she replied, burying her face in her textbook.

"Are you alright? You seem tense."

"Yeah, I'm totally fine..." Go away go away go away go away...

"I get the idea that you don't want me around."

"Heh-heh, how'd you get that idea...?"

"I mean, ever since I went into your room, you've been running away from me..."

Oh my Celestia kill me kill me kill me kill me...please kill me...bake me into a cupcake just kill me...

This was the last day that Rainbow Dash ever spoke to Mimi. That day in Law class, the teacher mentioned something that solved her problem. "...in the modern Equestrian era, following the coronation of Princess Amore, the first recorded political assassination attempt was recorded. Princess Platinum intended to seize the throne of the Crystal Empire by murdering Amore. After many failed attempts to get an audience with Amore by herself, the first restraining order was applied. Platinum was forbidden to be within a fifty mile radius of Amore, which made political gatherings and princess summits extremely awkward."

That's it! A restraining order!

As soon as school ended, Rainbow Dash headed for Canterlot Castle and walked into the throne room. Celestia was sitting on her throne, sipping a cup of tea. "What can I help you with, Rainbow Dash?"

"I need your help writing a restraining order!"

"Against who?" The Sun Goddess frowned.

"...Mimi Jinx..."

"...you mean Lucky's daughter?"

"...yeah..."

Celestia sighed. "You do know that there are serious consequences to this decision. Political consequences." She stepped off of the throne and trotted towards the younger Alicorn. "Lucky Jinx is an important diplomat, one of the most skilled in his field. He has kept the Changeling Hive at peace with Equestria for many years and has brought us one step closer to understanding the traditions and customs of the zebra culture."

"I thought you might say that..." Rainbow smirked. She didn't like playing dirty...but she had to play her trump card now...

Half an hour later...

"And so, it is with a heavy heart that I relieve Lucky Jinx of his duties as a diplomat and sentence him to early retirement in Manehatten," Celestia said, concluding her council meeting. "His daughter, Mimi Jinx, shall continue her studies in the Manehatten Institute for Ponies Who Can't Read Good and Wanna Learn How to Do Other Things Good." Lucky Jinx was speechless, and his daughter was livid.

"How could you do this to him? We've done EVERYTHING you asked for! And now you're going to send me to that yucky school!?!" The members of Celestia's council muttered in agreement, shooting each other confused glances. Celestia raised her hoof, silencing everyone present.

"Please, my subjects. My reasons for this are logical and just. Would I fire him for a million bits? No! A billion bits? That's absurd! A room full of banana cream pie? Yes, you've got yourself a deal!" With that, the guards dragged Lucky and Mimi from Canterlot.

"...and that's why we don't know as much about zebras as we like to think we do," Rainbow Dash finished. Her friends stared at her, their mouths open with horror. "What? We don't know a lot about Equidia! No big deal. And the Changelings haven't been bothering us at all! It's not like they're planning a major invasion or anything!"

"Or ARE THEY?" Pinkie Pie asked with a dramatic face.

"Look, if there IS an invasion, Princess Celestia will be on top of it! Nothing will happen!"

Back in the Banana Cream Pie Room of Canterlot Castle...

"...and I want guards positioned in here to protect the pies," Celestia ordered. "Mice have been infiltrating every corner of this room, and they must be terminated!"

"...are you sure that's necessary, Princess?"

"You DARE question my wisdom?!"

"No, no, no, we'll get right on that!"

"That's right, you will...no one is going to come between Mommy and her banana babies..."

Author's Note

So, I went back and watched Bridle Gossip...yeah, it's still not one of my favorite episodes...also, Rainbow Dash didn't have a lot to say. So I played around with how a princess would know diplomats to "faraway lands" and their relatives, and this chapter got started.

The diplomat, Lucky Jinx, and his daughter, Mimi Jinx, are my OC's...but some of the experiences with the stalker are based off my own experiences with a stalker...yeah, I don't really want to go into much detail about him...

Anyway, thank you guys so much for the positive feedback! You all rock!

Pinkie Pie: ...you know that they're all going to get that Zoolander reference, right?

Me: ...yeah...

Rainbow Dash Discovers her Catchphrase

Princess Rainbow Dash

"Good CELESTIA, what a week!" Rainbow grumbled as she threw herself into her bed, her face buried in the pillows. The last few days had been a living nightmare. First, there was the Parasprite infestation, which had been made worse by the stress of Celestia's planned visit to Ponyville. When it was all over and the Princess arrived, she announced that she had only come to say that she couldn't stay. Then she left for Baltimare, leaving Rainbow and her friends in charge of Ponyville's cleanup and repairs. THEN, there was the Winter Wrap-Up. Rainbow Dash had been placed in charge of the weather management, so she had no time for relaxing! After that episode, she decided to help Apple Bloom in a quest for a cutie mark, but the only thing this experience did was waste Rainbow's time and bring Apple Bloom no closer to her cutie mark. THEN there was the Running of the Leaves, and all Rainbow could think about was why fall happened immediately after winter! It didn't make sense! They might as well be living in a world where seasons lasted for years instead of months! But really, what kind of world would that be?

Now these events were behind her. Now she could turn her focus to something very important: relaxing. All she wanted to do was go soaring through the sky, feeling the air in her feathered wings, the sun shining on her, the adoring eyes gazing up at her, the giant pesky tree branch that she always managed to overlook...

OUCH!

"Look out belooooooooooooooooooooooooooow!" Rainbow hollered as she fell from the sky and crashed through the ceiling of Carousel Boutique, Rarity's home and shop. She landed in a pile of fabric and knocked over some mannequins. "Sorry," she said sheepishly as she pulled some of the cloth off of her. "New trick. Didn't quite work. Don't worry, I'll clean it up, Rarity!" Twilight and Applejack were also in the workroom. They waved at the princess, but Rarity only gave the Alicorn a scrutinizing look. Since when does Rarity wear glasses?

"Idea!" Rarity chirped, flashing a smile. "I'll put together a fashion show...starring us! Oh, and Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy, too! It'll be so much fun!"

"Oh, I love fun things! I'm just not sure if fashion is really fun..." Rainbow smiled as she got to her hooves.

"Don't you worry, Rainbow darling, I'll make sure that you look royally fabulous in your Gala gown!" Rainbow flinched. She had almost forgotten about the upcoming Gala...she hadn't even taken the time to consider what she would be wearing! Rarity would be doing her a favor, but still...

"Making six dresses in such a short amount of time is a lot of work, Rarity!"

"Oh, please, it'll be my pleasure!" The Unicorn smiled.

"Well...okay, you can make me a dress, but only on one condition..."

"Oh? What is it?" Rarity had already levitated several rolls of fabric over to her work table.

"You're doing something for me, so I'll do something for you...I'll fix the Boutique while you work!"

"Really?" Rarity gasped. "A princess doing construction? Are you sure?"

"Oh, calm down, Rarity, it's not a biggie!" Rainbow grinned. "I should be finished before the fashion show!"

"Well, if you're gonna do that, Ah'll help, too!" Applejack said to her. "Ah didn't see you during the Running of the Leaves!"

"I never doubted that you'd come in first place for that race, AJ," Rainbow replied. The Running of the Leaves race was one of Ponyville's traditions. By racing through the White Tail Woods, the ponies could get the leaves off of the trees for winter and have fun! Applejack enjoyed the racing aspect more than anything, and Rainbow Dash was happy that her friend had won. I just wish that I could enter some races every now and then...

With Applejack's help, Rainbow had the roof to the Boutique fixed in less than a day. She was sure that she could have worked faster, but that was made impossible by Rarity. Whenever they had to go inside the Boutique, the Unicorn would drop everything she was doing and shoo the intruding pony away from her work space. "They're not ready yet! You can't see the dresses!"

"Are you having a musical number?" Rainbow asked.

"...maybe."

"...why can't we join in?" Applejack frowned.

"Because it's not time for the reprise!"

"NO ONE BREAKS THE FOURTH WALL BUT ME!" Pinkie Pie's head had appeared randomly by a window, glaring in at the other three ponies. Applejack had blinked and reached over, pulling the curtains over the window.

Anyway...the roof was fixed and Rarity was now ready to reveal the dresses to her friends! She guided them into the workshop, instructing them to keep their eyes closed until the right moment. "Okay, you can look now!" Rainbow opened her eyes and faced the set of five unique and elegant dresses. "Oh, Princess Rainbow Dash, it took me forever to get the colors right on this one, but I did it, and it turned out beautiful! Aren't they all amazing?"

There was a pause.

"They're...um..."

"Something...?"

"Yes, something!"

"Oh, I love something! Something is my favorite!"

"They're...nice..." Fluttershy whispered.

"Mine's just not as cool as I was imagining!" Rainbow blurted. Applejack and Twilight glared at her with scrunched up noses. "What? She asked!" Twilight cleared her throat.

"I guess that they're not what we had in mind..." Oh, so it's okay for HER to say that, but I can't? Why do I live in a world of hypocrisy? Why can't we just pretend that I don't have this stupid bucking horn and move on?! I just...UGH!!! Wait, hold on, it looks like they're making an important decision. Oh, and we're leaving now...alright...where are we going?

"...thank you again, Rarity," Twilight said as she led the group out of Rarity's home.

"Wait, did I miss something important?" Rainbow asked when the door closed.

"Uh, YEAH, Rarity's going to make our dresses so that they're exactly what we wanted! Isn't that great? Weren't you listening?" Pinkie Pie bounced up and down in place.

"I wasn't listening, I was thinking of something else."

"Well, at least you're honest," Applejack chuckled.

"Maybe I should be the Element of Honesty! Or the Element of Magic! Can I trade?"

"NO!" Applejack and Twilight responded in firm unison.

"Well, excuse me for asking..."

A little while later, Rainbow was summoned back to Rarity's work room. The designer's hair was a frazzled mess. "Aren't you going to tell me to change something?" She asked the princess.

"No! I just want my dress to be cool!" Rainbow shrugged. She was more interested in checking herself out in the mirror at the time.

"You don't like the color?"

"The color is FINE! Just make it cooler!" But the more Rarity asked...

"It needs to be about twenty percent cooler!" At this sentence, Rarity slammed her head into the mannequin. "What? What did I say?" Rainbow asked.

"I just had a mysterious feeling...like a thousand T-shirts across a nation suddenly had your words printed on them..."

"...Rarity, you need to relax. I was just thinking that my dress should have a more...battle-like theme to it!" She announced.

"Battle like? Are you serious?"

"I know! I think it would be totally awesome!"

"...an awesome mess..."

"What?"

"Nothing!"

"Do you ever get the feeling that Ponyville is a town of clones?" Rainbow asked as she stood behind the curtain. It was the night of the fashion show, and it looked like everypony in town had showed up for the small event. Even the renowned fashion designer, Hoity Toity, was set to make an appearance as a guest of honor. Rainbow wasn't feeling nervous about showing off her gown, but she was unnerved as she gazed at the ponies in the audience...too many of them seemed identical...

"What do you mean?" Fluttershy whispered.

"I mean, look! Isn't that Derpy over there?"

"Oh, yes..."

"But there's another one of her right there!"

"Oh, well, I suppose that..."

"Shh! It's about to start!" Twilight hissed. The lights had dimmed and Spike, acting as the announcer, had taken over the microphone.

"Since the beginning of time, the elite of Equestria have longed for pony fashions that truly expressed the essence of their very souls. Patiently waiting decades...no, centuries...for the perfect pony gown. Today, at long last, Equestria, your wait is over! Let's hear it for the breathtaking designs of Ponyville's own Rarity!" Now the ponies took to the runway, and Rainbow's mind got lost in her own thoughts. Okay, first of all, there was no fashion at the beginning of time! There was only Celestia and Luna! THEN, once they got bored of playing hide and seek, other life emerged, and then once the life emerged, FASHION happened! Ugh, why am I even thinking about this? It's way too lame! Also...why is everyone looking at me like that? Do they hate the dresses?

"...those outfits are the ugliest things I've ever seen, and they disgrace the beauty of the radiant Princess Rainbow Dash! Who is responsible for this? Who has dared to make Rainbow Dash look tacky? It's TREASON! HIGH TREASON!"

"ATTACK RARITY!" Somepony shouted, and the crowd swarmed closer to the runway. During Hoity's speech, Rarity had managed to sneak away and lock herself inside her shop.

"EVERYPONY CALM DOWN!" Rainbow Dash shouted, raising a hoof in the air. Everyone froze. "These designs were submitted to Rarity by US," she continued. "I was the one who told Rarity to make this dress. It was MY idea." She glared at Hoity Toity. "So I guess I really am tacky, right?" The gray Unicorn gulped. "The original designs by Rarity were beautiful. If you want to see REAL fashion, come back in about a week to see for yourself! I dare you!" With that, the princess soared away, leaving her discarded dress on the runway.

A few days later...

"Rarity? Come on out!" Twilight tapped her hoof on Rarity's front door for the fourteenth billionth time (or so it seemed). Ponyvillians were no longer determined to hang Rarity for high treason, but the designer refused to leave her home. She had been locked inside for days.

"NO! I'm never coming out! I can't show my face in Ponyville ever again! I used to be somepony! I used to be respected. I made dresses. Beautiful, beautiful dresses! But now everypony is laughing at me. I'm nothing but a laughing stock! Leave me alone! I want to be alone! I want to wallow in... whatever it is that ponies are supposed to wallow in! Do ponies wallow in pity? Oh, listen to me, I don't even know what I'm supposed to wallow in! I'M SO PATHETIC!"

"Rarity...?"

"WHAT?"

"Is it...that time of the month...?" Rainbow giggled at how absurd and insensitive she sounded. But this WAS the only possible explanation for why Rarity was even more dramatic than usual!

"Rainbow Dash, that's not funny!" Twilight snapped.

"We need to get Rarity outside, or else she'll become a crazy cat lady!" Pinkie added.

"But what can we do?"

"...I could always try to finish that dress..." Fluttershy spoke up. The others looked at her. "I do like sewing little outfits for the little critters...and Opal and Angel..."

"But are you willing to do it?" Twilight asked.

"...if it means that we'll see Rarity again, then yes, I'll do it!"

"Then hang on while I steal the dress!" Twilight said, charging her horn.

One complicated burglary and catnapping later...

"Rainbow Dash! Did YOU put my Opal in that tree?" The princess and the cat were perched on a branch of a large tree. The cries of the spoiled cat were all the motivation Rarity needed to step outside the confines of Carousel Boutique.

"Well, yeah! How else would we get you out here to see this?" Rainbow pointed down. When Rarity's Gala dress had been taken from her home, it was still a work in progress. Now, thanks to Fluttershy, it was a gorgeous masterpiece. And Hoity Toity and the rest of the town were approaching, ready for the second take of the fashion show. They entered the store and took their seats in front of a small stage that Rarity kept just for emergency fashion show occasions. The models dressed themselves and took to the stage one at a time.

"This can't be the same designer!" Hoity Toity protested. "These are incredible! Brilliant! Encore, encore! Oh, Rarity, you are a genius!" As the ponies took a bow, he approached the stage and grabbed the designer by the hoof. "How honored would you be to have your couture featured in my Best of the Best Boutique in Canterlot?"

"EXTREMELY!" Rarity squeed.

"Excellent! I'll need you to make a dozen of each dress for me by next Tuesday!"

"And we'll all help this time!" Rainbow announced, joining the conversation. She smirked. If my theory about the clones was true, Rarity could make five more of herself and have these dresses ready in no time! But I don't know cloning magic, and I don't think Twilight does, either...does cloning magic even exist...?

Meanwhile, in the Everfree Forest...

"Oh, Mirror Pool, you are our great provider..." Dozens of Derpy ponies were gathered in a circle around the surface of a common pond. They bowed to it, chanting a mysterious rite of honor. A few feet away, one Derpy stood, dressed in fancy attire, a crown of muffins upon her head and a wicked grin on her face.

"Yes...yes...great Mirror Pool, you are the answer to all of our problems...it is you who gives life to my clones! It is you that makes it possible for me to deliver mail across Equestria so efficiently! Nothing can stop us from delivering mail! Not rain, snow, hail, or Rainbow Dash's strange, paranoid filled glance at the fashion show! NOTHING!"

Author's Note

PHEW! I am SO sorry for the delay in this chapter, you guys! I just graduated from high school, so HURRAH, more free time on my hands! *dance party* Meanwhile, season five has dropped a lot of new ideas on me! I have to admit that I struggled with which episodes to work with for a long time, and eventually decided to just skip to this particular episode. Anyway, the chapter that I've been looking forward to publishing the most is the one about the events of A Canterlot Wedding. I've already gotten a lot written! That section of the story is going to be my little writing baby... *cradles it*

Okay! Next chapter should be easy! It's based on a mostly Rainbow Dash episode, after all: Sonic Rainboom! (I'm skipping Feeling Pinkie Keen because I don't like that episode and Rainbow didn't have a lot to do with the plot.) Will she win the competition, even though she has that pesky horn and technically can't enter the competition because royalty? TUNE IN TO FIND OUT!

Diplomacy is Magic: Hostage Negotiations

Princess Rainbow Dash

Things in Ponyville were calm for a few weeks following the Best Young Fliers Competition. Rarity and Rainbow Dash were getting along like the incident had never happened (as they were both more than happy to forget about it). Sure, there was something about a cockatrice and another thing involving a talent show, but Rainbow Dash wasn’t too concerned about these, as they had worked out well without her involvement or knowledge.

But then, Mayor Mare declared a holiday in Ponyville: National Stand Idly Around Town Hall And Do Nothing Day. Rainbow Dash decided to go with the flow and turned up for the event. And for a while, things went smoothly...because nothing actually happened...because they were just standing around, doing nothing…

...well, except for Spike and Rarity. Rarity had a new client: the Pony of Pop, Sapphire Shores. The outfits that the singer needed required several gems, which Rarity was running low on. She took a very eager dragon with her out of town to hunt for gems. So they weren’t participating in the holiday. In fact, Spike had to RUIN it. After about an hour or so of standing around idly, he ran up to Town Hall, screaming at the top of his lungs. He stopped in front of Twilight, Rainbow Dash and their friends and explained, “Rarity...woods...jewels...dogs...taken...SAVE HER!” He had dashed off in the direction he had come from. Rainbow looked at her friends, shrugged, and followed the dragon. The others did, too. Spike gradually regained his breath and explained, “They called themselves the Diamond Dogs. They grabbed Rarity and disappeared into a hole in the ground while we were looking for gems.”

“Well, this sounds mighty easy. All we gotta do is go down the hole and save Rarity!” Applejack declared.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, are you kidding?” Everyone stopped and stared at Rainbow Dash, who was normally the first pony to leap into action. “We can’t do that! We need to negotiate!” Wait, WHAT?! Everyone gasped.

“Rainbow Dash...are you feeling okay?” Twilight asked.

“Yeah, where’s the REAL Rainbow Dash, the one who always acts without a plan?” Pinkie Pie teased. Rainbow Dash scowled.

“This is a KIDNAPPING. Our friend is a HOSTAGE. Just...just let me do the talking, okay? I’m gonna go get backup. You guys find the hole but don’t do anything that would freak them out!” She flew back to Ponyville and headed for her home. Once there, she rummaged through trunks, drawers, chests...pretty much everywhere for gems and bits. She found enough of each to fill two saddlebags, which she carried with her as she flew back to rejoin her friends...and when she arrived, she found them in a pile by several mounds of dirt, exhausted and gasping for air. She scowled at them. “I thought I told you not to freak them out! Ugh…” She charged the tip of her horn and used her magic to amplify her voice. She approached the hole in the ground and called down, “Alright, hello...Diamond Dogs, I’m gonna need to talk to your leaders regarding the hostage.” There was silence, then the sound of hushed arguing and then one voice spoke up:

“Um...this is Fido. And I have my brothers Rover and Spot, too. We have a pony here. Is...is that the hostage?”

“This is Princess Rainbow Dash, don’t worry buddy, I’m on your side.”

“Princess Rainbow Dash?!”

“Oh buck, oh buck, oh buck…” A second voice gasped.

“Calm down, calm down, oh my gosh, stop freaking out!!!” A third one hissed. Twilight and the others were looking extremely antsy and anxious, but Rainbow didn’t notice.

“Listen, if I’m gonna help you, you’re gonna have to help me...so let’s cut to the chase and talk about your demands.”

“Oh, um...well, gems, we guess…” The first voice, Fido, said.

“Alright, here’s what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna get you your gems. And you let the pony go, okay? And we’ll just go our separate ways, never talk about this again, never mention this in subsequent seasons...of our lives...at best, we’ll just make cameo appearances, no speaking roles, sound good?”

“What the hay is she talking about?” Applejack asked Twilight.

“I have no idea.”

“Whew, I thought it was just me,” Fluttershy sighed with relief. She gasped. “Look, they’re coming out!” Indeed, three canine faces appeared out of the hole. One by one, the Diamond Dogs stepped out. The tallest of the three held Rarity in his arms.

“Um...okay, we’re here...we have the pony…” He said. “Um…” He glanced at his comrades. It was clear that they had no idea what was going on and that nobody had expected or prepared for a situation like this.

Rarity looked bemused.

“Let’s stay cool, I have the gems right here...let the hostage go and they’re all yours, ‘k?” Rainbow Dash waved the bag containing the gems around. “Let Rarity go, and they’re all yours.” The dogs hesitated, then whispered to each other...and then they released Rarity. The white Unicorn stood frozen with confusion for several moments before she began to approach her friends at a careful, slow pace. When she was halfway between the Diamond Dogs and her friends, Rainbow Dash levitated the bag of gems over to the Diamond Dogs. “There we go. You’re free to go.”

“Just like that?” The shortest dog asked. “You’re not going to arrest us?”

“We go our separate ways, dude. As far as we’re all concerned, this never took place. Let’s keep it like this. We’re going to go now. You’re free to go home.” With that, Rainbow Dash trotted away and didn’t look back. After a few minutes, her friends caught up with her.

“That was incredible, darling!”

“Shucks, I didn’t know you could do that!”

“And to think, I was going to blast them to next season...of our lives...with the party cannon!”

“I’m glad it didn’t get violent, yay…”

“I can’t wait to write to Princess Celestia to tell her about what you taught me!” Twilight Sparkle beamed. Rainbow cocked her head to the side.

“What? What did I teach you?”

“Just because someone is prone to dashing into action doesn’t mean that they aren’t capable of analyzing a situation and handling it in a calm way.”

Rainbow Dash smiled. “Well, uh duh. Not EVERY situation can be solved with friendship!” Haha, finally, a lesson not connected to friendship!

“I just have one question,” Twilight said. “How did you get so good at hostage negotiating, Rainbow Dash?”

The cyan pony hesitated. “Well…”

“FOR EVERY MINUTE THAT I DON’T HAVE A SLICE OF THAT CAKE, I KILL A HOSTAGE!” Princess Celestia was in one of those moods again. Her horn surged with magic as she pointed it at Princess Cadance and Prince Blueblood, both of whom trembled with fright. The royal guards ran in circles around the palace, screaming in panic.

Rainbow Dash sighed. “Looks like it’s up to me to save the day again…”

“Oh, no reason,” the princess smiled. “No reason at all.”

“...if I had known about all those extra gems you had lying around, then this whole episode...of our lives...could have been avoided,” Rarity muttered.

Later, in Canterlot…

“I knew that those...problems...I had in the past would be useful to Rainbow Dash one day! And thank me that I erased the memories involving said incidents from the minds of Cadance, Blueblood, and the guards!” Celestia said aloud as she looked over Twilight’s letter. She glanced over at her pet phoenix, Philomena. “And between you and me, Rainbow Dash only has all those gems and bits so that she can keep quiet about it without me having to erase her memory!”

“Squak?” The bird asked. Celestia huffed.

“Because, Philomena, if there wasn’t at least one responsible pony around who knew about my problem, then I most likely WOULD kill innocent ponies with my awesome goddess powers!” She sighed. “I really have a problem...a serious, serious problem…”

Author's Note

What's this?! Two chapters in less than a year?! It's a pony miracle!

Even though I'm not a Brony/Pegasister anymore, I'll confess one thing: I've been going back and listening to classic Brony fan songs. You know what I'm talking about: Eurobeat Brony, Aviators, all those musicians! And they've been helping me write, so that's good!

Next chapter will cover Over a Barrel, followed by one of my least favorite episodes of the first season, A Bird in the Hoof...but I'll try to make it funny! Also, I'm probably going to move May the Best Pet Win up so that the events take place at the same time as Owl's Well that Ends Well...

Alright, I'm out! Until next time!

Rainbow Dash: Princess of Pet Problems

Princess Rainbow Dash

“I don’t know why you were so worried,” Rainbow Dash said to Twilight for the eighteenth millionth time as they headed to Fluttershy’s cottage. They had just finished having brunch with Princess Celestia over at the Sweet Shop...well, THEY were finished eating. Celestia was still nomming on cake and trolling poor Mr. and Mrs. Cake with tea pranks when they left to talk to Fluttershy about “how proud they were about how good of an impression she made on the princess despite them sort of meeting before”, blah blah blah. Twilight was being dramatic, as usual, but Rainbow decided to humor her friend.

They arrived at Fluttershy’s cottage in no time, and Rainbow noticed as they approached the front door that the animals seemed a little...on edge. They weren’t acting startled, like they had heard a loud noise, but like they were trying to hide something and trying not to act suspicious. Rainbow wondered what it was all about...and then Twilight opened the door to the cottage. “Hi Fluttershy! I just wanted to drop by and say thanks for making a good first impression on the princess…”

“Even though she’s already met everyone before,” Rainbow muttered, but no one heard her over Twilight’s gasp.

“What is Celestia’s pet doing here?!”

“Well, I couldn’t leave the poor thing like this!” Fluttershy replied, gesturing to Philomena, Princess Celestia’s phoenix. Rainbow Dash had known Celestia for years now, and she had known Philomena for just as long. She didn’t know if all phoenixes liked to literally “play dead” as much as Philomena did, but...the bird was mischievous. Rainbow, as another prankster, respected that. But...given that Fluttershy, one of the most sympathetic ponies in Equestria, didn’t know that, this probably wasn’t a good time for the “sick and dying, pity me” routine.

“Relax,” Rainbow smirked. “It’s no big deal.”

“No big deal?!” Fluttershy gasped.

“Rainbow Dash, how can you stay calm at a time like...this…” Twilight’s voice trailed off as the bird squawked, then crumbled into a pile of ash. The Pegasus and the Unicorn stared at the smoldering pile...then broke into mass hysteria.

“Oh my gosh, I killed her!” Fluttershy gasped. Her teal eyes were swimming in tears of sorrow.

“Fluttershy, we have to make this look like an accident! Do you know what could happen if Princess Celestia finds out? You could be banished to the moon!” Twilight Sparkle panicked.

Rainbow Dash facehoofed and approached her hysterical friends. “Um...you guys know that this is a phoenix, right? And...that this is normal for phoenixes…?”

“What do you mean?” Fluttershy sniffled. Twilight also looked perplexed.

“Phoenixes live and die, like, every week...they get ready to die, they burst into flames, then become a pile of ashes...then they pop out of the ashes, good as new!”

“Huh...I didn’t know that,” Twilight admitted.

“You’ve been Celestia’s student for how long now and you never noticed the random singe marks on the castle carpets?”

“Well, yes, but I…”

“And you never questioned where they came from or how they kept popping up? For that matter, you never saw a fiery bird flying around?”

Twilight blushed. “I thought it...the scorch marks...it was marks from...you know...when she was…”

“When she was what?”

“...having that time of the month…” Twilight mumbled. Rainbow Dash cringed so hard that she was sure she was going to have muscle cramps. How can someone be so smart and yet so clueless?! For that matter, how could Fluttershy, one of the most experienced ponies when it comes to pets and animals, NOT know this? Okay, phoenixes ARE unusual pets, but I don't know...

“Just...just get her back to Princess Celestia and explain what happened. I’m going home to enjoy a facial.” She trotted towards the door.

“Since when do you do facials?” Twilight asked, surprised.

Since you gave me muscle cramps in my face...is what Rainbow Dash wanted to say. Instead, she forced a grin and replied, “Since when has your first reaction to something sick been ‘we have to hide the body’?”

Twilight blushed again. Rainbow Dash flew away before the Unicorn could reply. And as she flew, she pondered her parting words to Twilight and wondered...but then she decided:

I don’t want to know. I don’t want to know. I don’t want to know. I don’t want to know…

“...okay, I kind of want to know. Who’s this guy?” Things became uneventful following “incident Philomena”...except for the fact that Rainbow Dash started getting terrible migraines at seemingly random times. She realized that the best way to avoid them was to not think about them, and flying usually cleared her mind. She had been out stretching her wings when she noticed her friends crowding around Twilight, and so she went to investigate. She was surprised to see that there was a newcomer to the group. Twilight had a new pet owl.

“This is Owlicious! He came to me last night and helped me in the library while Spike was asleep. I think he’ll be great to have around the library!” The Unicorn explained.

Spike rolled his eyes and muttered under his breath as the other ponies admired the feathery newcomer and showered him with praise and compliments. Eventually the dragon huffed and stormed away. “What’s he all saddle sore about?” Applejack asked.

“Maybe Spike feels worried that Owlicious will replace him?” Fluttershy suggested.

“That’s crazy!” Twilight said in a dismissive tone. “He knows he can’t be replaced!”

Rainbow Dash gasped. “Wait...are we seriously comparing Spike’s worth to the bird’s worth?”

“What do you mean?” Pinkie Pie asked.

Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes. “...since when has Spike been a pet? He’s a sentient creature like ponies and zebras...I mean, he’s Twilight’s assistant, for crying out loud!” Rainbow gritted her teeth as another migraine attacked her. As she massaged her temples, she continued, “And it’s not like he’d be seen or treated as a DOG in another world or anything...why am I saying this, of course he wouldn’t! It wouldn’t make any sense! Because if dragons were dogs in another world, what would that make the Diamond Dogs? Would they be dragons, or…?” She realized she was rambling when the nonplussed gazes of her friends started to get to her. She cleared her throat. “What I’m trying to say is: Spike isn’t a pet, he’s Twilight’s assistant and our friend! And he deserves to be treated like that! And Spike...if he feels like we love this owl more than we love him, then we all need to step back and examine the way we treat each other…”

“Rainbow Dash, are you feeling okay?” Twilight Sparkle asked.

“You’re acting very...unusual,” Rarity agreed.

The Alicorn blushed. They’re right! Something’s changing! I don’t know what it is! “I...I don’t know!” She stammered. “I-I have to go!” She flew away, destination unknown, trying to think about what was happening while ignoring the painful headaches...

Meanwhile, in Canterlot…

Celestia was devouring a particularly yummy ice cream cake and contemplating the ethical implications of using animals like cows and chickens for their produce without them getting compensation for the work they did…

...but then she froze and narrowed her eyes. “She knows. I can sense it.” She turned to one of her Pegasus guards. “Summon the pink one. We must overreact immediately!”

Author's Note

Woo! Sorry it took so long...I was originally going to have Rainbow Dash get Tank as a pet in this chapter, too, but then I thought, "No, that's too much." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanywaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay...thanks for being patient, you guys are awesome! The next chapter already has a few paragraphs written, hopefully it'll be ready soon! Leave some feedback if you wanna...or not! Do whatever, it's cool!
...I'm gonna go now. :twilightsheepish:

That's So Rainbow! ...and Pinkie, too.

Princess Rainbow Dash

The migraines continued. The doctors over at the Ponyville Hospital chalked them up to “stress”, “head trauma”, and other boring possibilities, but Rainbow dismissed them all. She hadn’t been in any major accidents...she hadn’t been in ANY accidents recently. And she was the most relaxed pony around, so it couldn’t have been stress.

But then things started getting a little weirder...Pinkie Pie had always been close with Rainbow Dash, especially after “the Gilda incident”, but she started becoming a lot more chummy. She followed Rainbow Dash EVERYWHERE and always kept a close eye on her. At first, the princess didn’t mind, but after a little while, it became somewhat creepy. One day, Rainbow decided to ask her about it. “Pinkie, is there a reason for why you keep following me around town every day?”

“Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo,” Pinkie said with a toothy, but seemingly genuine, grin. “I’m just wondering, that’s all...if you’re feeling okay!”

How did...does she know about the headaches?! Rainbow decided to play it cool. “What do you mean? I feel fine!”

“Are you suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure? No itchy knees? Floppy ears? Twitching tails? Achy shoulders? Eye flutters?”

“...those are specific symptoms,” Rainbow noted, biting on her lower lip as a migraine attacked her again.

“The thing is, I get these symptoms ALL the time! It’s part of my Pinkie Sense!”

“Your what?” Rainbow asked, confused.

“My Pinkie Sense! See, certain symptoms I get mean that something specific will happen in the future! Like when my back gets itchy, that means that I’m about to have a lucky day! Or when my knee gets pinchy, that means that something scary is about to happen!”

“What about headaches?” Rainbow asked, trying to probe without giving the truth away.

Her plan didn’t work. Pinkie Pie’s face contorted into an all-knowing, smug smirk. “You’ve been having headaches, haven’t you, Rainbow Dash?”

“Pffft, what?! NO! I’m not...yes, I am,” Rainbow admitted with a defeated sigh. “How did you know?”

“Well, I didn’t, but someone else did! And she knew about my Pinkie Sense, so she told me to find out as much as I could about what’s been happening with you!”

Rainbow narrowed her eyes. “Who sent you?”

“Well, it was Princess Celestia! And she sent a letter telling Twilight to tell me, so because they communicate through Spike, that means that he knows about it, too…”

Rainbow sighed. “Let’s go find Twilight and Spike and send a note to Princess Celestia.”

About three hours later…

Princess Celestia had arrived in Ponyville as soon as she had received the report from Pinkie Pie. Even though Twilight and Spike now knew what was going on, Celestia requested that they leave the library so that she could talk about this with just Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash. “...but I live here…” Twilight protested under her breath as she obeyed Celestia’s order.

Once they were alone, Rainbow looked up at Celestia. “So, what’s going on? Why am I getting all these headaches? What do they mean?”

“This is something that very few ponies have…” Celestia began to pace back and forth.

“...okay!” Rainbow Dash said, somewhat impatient.

“I’ve known for a while that Pinkie Pie was clairvoyant…”

“...uh-huh…”

“but in all my years of knowing you, Rainbow Dash...I never picked up on this power that you have…”

“Yeah, can we get back to that for a second, or…?”

“...could it be developing now that you’re in Ponyville…?”

“CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT’S GOING ON?!” Rainbow shouted as she pounded her hooves against the floor. Celestia huffed and rolled her eyes.

“Fine!” She sighed. “Way to ruin the dramatic tension…” She stopped pacing and looked at the younger Alicorn. “It’s like...you have a certain amount of knowledge about Equestria, but you don’t know how much you know or what you know until you have to know, you know?” Celestia said.

Rainbow blinked. “Nope. I don’t know.”

The white Alicorn sighed as she tried to think of another way to explain it. “It’s...like...well, you basically have the ability to see things in the way the world works...things that normal ponies can’t see. And this power might even be connected to worlds, dimensions, outside of Equestria.”

“...you mean I could talk to aliens if that was a thing?” Rainbow’s eyes widened.

“Yeah, sure, let’s go with that…” Celestia answered half-heartedly, but Rainbow was already celebrating.

“This power is AWESOME!!!” She cheered. “So...what should I use this power for? To stop wars? To make contact with new creatures? To contact new creatures to help them stop wars?!”

“Nah, you’ll mostly just be using this to communicate feelings of exasperation that beings from another dimension may feel towards us or our actions. In other words, it’s a gag.”

“...SERIOUSLY?!” Rainbow Dash groaned. “I have this AWESOME power...and I’m supposed to use it as a running gag!”

“Well, sort of...sometimes the power will show up for an episode...of our lives...and then disappear for the remaining seasons...of our lives,” Pinkie continued in a chipper voice, oblivious to the cyan Alicorn’s growing confusion and anger.

“NO! I REFUSE!” She stomped a hoof down and glared at Celestia. “I REFUSE to go by this bullshit logic!” She began to back away from the older princess in a dramatic fashion. “You’ll see! I’ll use this power for something more important than stupid laughs! Someday! Someday…” She paused. “There’s...not a door behind me...it would have been cooler if there had been a door behind me...now my dramatic exit is ruined…” She sighed. “Just pretend that I backed out of the room dramatically, okay?”

“Okay!” Pinkie replied.

“Uh-wha? Oh! I totally wasn’t listening just now, I was thinking of something else!” Celestia admitted with a sheepish grin.

“What were you saying, Dashie?”

“...never mind. I’m going to go over here now.”

“And that’s how I found out about Rainbow Dash’s new power!” Celestia said as she finished her story to Luna over some tea and biscuits.

The blue Alicorn cocked her head to the side, deep in thought. “A very interesting story...but I just have one question now…”

“Yes?”

“...how DID you find out about Rainbow Dash’s ability? You said that you ‘sensed it’ when you were here in Canterlot,” Luna pointed out.

“Oh! That’s simple! I have ‘Deux Ex Alicornia’,” Celestia explained. “It’s the condition where I have impressive knowledge, unstoppable powers, and basically the ability to stop any or all threats with a wave of my horn...but only when an outside force deems it necessary.”

“...that sounds really contrived and stupid.”

“...I know.”

“...are you sure you didn’t know about this for a long time, but didn’t want to do anything about it because that would mean leaving your cakes behind? And when you did have the opportunities to address it, you totally forgot about it?”

“...yeah, you’re right.”

“And how did you find out about Pinkie Pie’s sixth sense?”

“Pinkie Sense,” Celestia corrected. “And Luna, think about. She’s an Earth pony who can play six musical instruments at once. If THAT isn’t an indication that she’s a pony with one-of-a-kind abilities, then I don’t know what is!”

Luna shrugged. “Okay, fair enough.”

Actually, it was a lucky guess, Celestia thought as she sipped her tea. But there’s no need for anyone to know about that...

Author's Note

LE GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASP

So much chapters so soon

It's too dope I can't cope

...I need to stop pretending to be cool. *le sigh* Just to clarify: Rainbow Dash has headaches whenever she sees a flaw in Equestrian logic. This power first started showing up in earlier chapters, but it's developing because of...well, you'll see in a later chapter!

So, without spoiling too much for you guys...I'm gonna give you a tiny taste of what's coming up...just a tiny little bit! *clears throat* One: There will be a chapter in which Cadance and Rainbow Dash go back to the village where Cadance was raised. Two: We're in the final stretch. There's only one episode left of season one, "The Best Night Ever". (And yes, I'm skipping over the episodes that don't really involve Rainbow Dash/wouldn't make a difference/wouldn't be funny, blah blah blah.) Three: I'm looking forward SO MUCH to "The Return of Harmony", "Luna Eclipsed", "The Last Roundup", and "A Canterlot Wedding". They're going to be amaze-balls! Four: There will be a chapter in which the other princesses sit down with Celestia and have an intervention regarding her cake addiction.

I'm gonna go over here now...later!

Sonic Raindoom: Best Name Author Could Come Up With. Pretty clever, right...? No...? ...yeah, she didn't think so.

Princess Rainbow Dash

The Best Young Flyer Competition was an annual event held in Cloudsdale. Pegasi from all over Equestria would come to the city in the clouds to compete for the title of “Best Flyer”. Princess Celestia was always a judge, but after Cadance and Rainbow Dash were crowned princesses, she would always bring one of them along as a guest judge. This year, it was Rainbow’s turn. She always liked sitting in a fancy throne amongst the clouds with the Wonderbolts next to her (three of them were always judges), but she wanted to compete...she wanted to perform the Sonic Rainboom in a routine and impress her idols. “It’s how I became a princess! Shouldn’t I start the event off with it, at least?” She once begged Celestia.

“You don’t want to be seen as a show-off by your not-royal peers.” Oh, so why do I have to do the Rainboom at every stinking Summer Sun Celebration?!

This year was no different. As the date of the event drew closer, Rainbow felt the familiar desire to compete take hold of her. She went to Celestia and asked to not be a judge. “Can’t you bring Luna instead?” She asked.

“No,” Celestia laughed. “She’s going to inspect all of the cafes in Manehattan to determine which one has the best coffee!” Rainbow had sighed and given in.

It was the day before the big event and Rainbow Dash found herself wandering over to Twilight’s library, where the rest of their friends had gathered to help Twilight organize the books. “Would you believe me if I told you that I’d rather clean the entire library than go to the stupid contest tomorrow?” Rainbow asked them.

“Um, yeah, that’s crazy talk! Like, cuckoo goes boing-boing!” Pinkie Pie said. Rainbow ignored her.

“But why?” Twilight asked. “You’ll get to be near the Wonderbolts! Isn’t that cool?”

“No, because they won’t be recruiting me for their team or applauding my awesomeness,” the Alicorn complained. She sighed. “I know that I’m one of the best fliers in Equestria...I’m sorry if this sounds conceited, but it’s true. It’s WHY I became a princess. And...if I don’t get to show off the skills that brought me this far in life, then what’s the point?”

“Would it help if I came with you to the event?” Fluttershy asked. “I normally don’t like large crowds, but I wouldn’t want you to sit through the competition all by yourself…”

“Sure, I guess,” Rainbow Dash shrugged, secretly grateful for her shy friend’s offer. I guess having a friend there will make me not being able to compete a little more bearable…

“I wish that there was a way for ALL of us to come and see the show,” Rarity said. “I would LOVE to visit Cloudsdale!”

“But only Pegasus ponies can walk on clouds, Rarity,” Twilight Sparkle reminded her. The purple Unicorn was starting to reorganize the books in the library, and Rainbow Dash saw this as a perfect opportunity to slip away. It’s no big deal, Rainbow Dash thought. I’m probably making a bigger deal out of this than I need to. It’s not like they’d enter the competition to show off knowing how upset I am that I can’t compete, right?

Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy arrived at Cloudsdale a day early for nostalgia’s sake. But they weren’t expecting to run into three familiar faces...actually, Rainbow Dash was the one who approached them. She had spotted them, nudged Fluttershy with a smirk, and then led her across a cloud to talk to them. “Hoops, Score, Dumb-Bell. Is that you?”

“OMFC, it’s Princess Rainbow Dash!” Hoops bowed before his former campmate and groveled. “Oh, great and magnificent Princess Rainbow Dash, you honor us with your presence…” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and smirked at Fluttershy.

“That’s one perk that I’ll never get tired of,” she whispered to her shy friend. “Having these two kiss my hooves is awesome and totally what they deserve for everything they put you through back at camp!”

“Actually, I’ve moved on past that and learned to deal with my negative feelings associated with the experience by channeling the energy towards…” Fluttershy started to say, but the princess ignored her and addressed the former bullies in a grand voice:

“Yes, ‘tis I, Princess Rainbow Dash, the First of Her Name, Mother of Rainbooms, Element of Loyalty. You may kiss my hooves if you so wish.” The Pegasus stallions dropped to the ground and began smooching her hooves. They continued doing so until a familiar voice rang through the air:

“Yoo-hoo, Rainbow Dash!” Was that voice...Rarity’s?! Rainbow and Fluttershy turned in the direction of the speaker and their mouths dropped. It WAS Rarity and she was flying towards them with a set of majestic butterfly wings.

“Twilight did this, right?” Rainbow Dash smirked.

“Well, yes, of course, darling! We couldn’t let you go through this without us to support you!” As she spoke, a large hot air balloon appeared behind her, and the passengers were Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Twilight Sparkle. They waved at Rainbow Dash and then stepped onto the clouds. Instead of falling through them, like non-Pegasus ponies usually did, they remained and began to walk around.

“How are you doing this?” Rainbow Dash asked. “Only Pegasus ponies can walk on clouds!”

“There’s a spell that allows Earth and Unicorn ponies to walk on clouds,” Twilight explained. “I never needed to use it before, so I didn’t know about it! But it’s a pretty basic spell…much easier than the one I used to create those gossamer and morning dew wings for Rarity!”

Rainbow Dash smiled. “To be honest, I was REALLY dreading going to the competition…”

“We couldn’t tell,” Applejack said in a wry tone.

“...but now that you all are here, I really feel a lot better!” I may not be able to compete, but at least I’ll be not competing with my friends! What could go wrong?

But as Rainbow and Fluttershy led their friends on a tour through the weather factory, Rainbow Dash couldn’t help but notice how...Trixie-ish Rarity was acting. “What, these old things? They’re fabulous, aren’t they? Go on, photos ARE encouraged!” She began to attract a flock of fans from the Weather Factory workers...honestly, Rainbow Dash wouldn’t have minded too much until one of them said:

“Here’s an idea! Why don’t you enter the competition?”

“Yeah, you’d knock away the competition!” Another pony added.

“Oh, what a marvelous idea! I think I will enter the competition!” Rainbow Dash’s mouth fell open, as did Twilight Sparkle’s.

“But Rarity, you know that Rainbow Dash wants to enter!” Twilight protested. “Isn’t it a little mean to enter yourself in front of someone who can’t?”

Rarity rolled her eyes and shrugged. “I can’t imagine how many Earth and Unicorn ponies dream of being able to fly with wings and enter a competition like this. I shouldn’t let them hold me back! And no one can really use their wings like I use mine!”

Rainbow Dash’s conversation with Trixie suddenly came back to her.

“There’s no need to go struttin’ around and showin’ off like that. That’s MY job!”

“Don’t throw stones if your house is made of glass, Princess Rainbow Dash.”

Rainbow Dash grinned at Rarity, trying her best to hide how upset she really was.

The next day…

“Please welcome our beloved Princesses Celestia and Rainbow Dash and our celebrity guest judges, the Wonderbolts!” The announcer’s voice boomed throughout the stadium. Rainbow Dash and Celestia entered their private box of the Cloudsdale stadium and waved to the crowd of ponies.

Rainbow Dash hadn’t spoken a word to Rarity since the latter announced that she was entering the contest. Rainbow Dash didn’t deny that Rarity had made a valid argument, but at the same time, she felt betrayed and jealous. Is it selfish of me to not want her to enter the competition? Am I the bad guy here? And then...Rarity entered the stadium, wings and all, and Rainbow Dash’s mouth dropped. Oh, are you bucking kidding me...what is she wearing?! It was a ridiculous, gaudy costume unlike anything the other contestants had been wearing. And the fact that she had applied three times as much makeup as usual didn’t add to her appearance. This is a flying competition, not a beauty pageant! Despite her shock, Rainbow Dash watched as the white Unicorn soared through the clouds, drawing “oohs” and “ahhs” from the crowd. Yeah, I’m having Trixie flashbacks...and I think I’m the only one...

“Look upon me, Equestria, for I...am...RARITY!” The white pony proclaimed with a grand flourish as she flew close to the sun so that it might serve as a spotlight…

...and then her wings burst into flames and turned to ash. She lingered in the air, motionless, as she processed what had just happened to her. And then, the moment of realization hit her...and she began to plummet towards the ground. The crowd gasped and began to panic, but the only ones who went to help were the Wonderbolts...unfortunately for them, they did not factor in Rarity’s flailing hooves, and soon they were plummeting with her. Rainbow Dash couldn’t believe this was happening. “Are you going to do something?!” She shouted at Celestia.

“I can’t, I’m still eating cake!” The older Alicorn snapped as she used her magic to levitate a slice of chocolatey goodness to her mouth. Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and flew into action.

“Hang on, Rarity, I’m coming!” She shouted. She zoomed down, concentrating only on the thought, the goal, of getting to the ponies on time, gathering up wing power as a pressure seemed to increase inside of her and around her, making her eyes water...for a few moments, everything around her went silent; even Rarity stopped screaming. But then, in the blink of an eye, there was an explosion of color, and Rainbow Dash grinned as she gathered her friend and idols up and charged back towards the clouds, knowing that she could look Celestia in the eye and say:

“Ha! You can’t tame this awesomeness! I did the Rainboom, I did the Rainboom~” She chanted in a sing-song voice, dancing around the hot air balloon that Rarity occupied. Celestia sighed.

“Yes, you did. Congratulations. What do you want, a cookie? Because I ate the last one…” She slapped a hoof to her forehead as Rainbow Dash continued to sing over her. “Okay, I’ll stop telling you when and where you can do the Rainboom if you stop singing now, okay?” Rainbow Dash became quiet, but she continued to aim a smug smirk at the white Alicorn.

“Well, I certainly learned MY lesson,” Rarity declared with a small smile. “From now on, I’m going to take my friends’ feelings into account before I start doing something that they wanted to do but weren’t able to do. Instead, I should keep my hooves on the ground and be there to support or comfort my friends.” She blinked. “I really am a horrible pony, aren’t I?”

“No, it’s okay, Rarity,” Rainbow Dash grinned. PLEASE, PLEASE don’t become like Trixie. PLEASE. “If anyone knows the first thing about getting carried away, it’s me. I’m like, the champion of showing off. So...just forget about it! Let’s move on!” Hooray for taking the high road! She turned to Princess Celestia. “And I guess I’ve learned that there’s more to being a princess than just the Rainboom...and that I don’t need a trophy to prove that I’m awesome...something something friendship something?” She sighed. Why does it feel like I can’t have a normal episode...of my life...without having to learn something that ultimately connects to friendship? Is the universe playing a prank on me?

“Hey, Princess Rainbow Dash!” Rainbow turned to face the leader of the Wonderbolts, Spitfire. She and her fellow Wonderbolts had walked over sometime during the friendship lesson technobabble that seemed to make Celestia content. “That was pretty awesome flying back there,” the golden Pegasus complimented. “You totally saved our flanks! Think you can teach us some of your moves sometime?”

“Maybe,” Rainbow Dash said with a coy smile. Her eyes widened as she realized something. “But...who won the competition?”

The next day, in the Everfree Forest...

“Oh, Mighty Muffin Mistress, I present to you and our society the trophy for the Best Fliers Competition.” Several ponies, all with derped eyes, blond manes and tails, and seven bubbles for cutie marks watched as a pony stepped forward and crowned another with the trophy for the Cloudsdale competition. The newly-crowned pony was obviously the leader of the others: she had a scepter with a muffin for the crest.

“Excellent work, Derpy Number Fifteen,” the leader smirked. “Soon the prophecy will be complete and Rainbow Dash will notice us!”

“Hasn’t she already done that?”

“NOT IN THE PROPER WAY!”

Author's Note

...yeah, this chapter wasn't worth the wait. *le sigh* I'm sorry, I know you guys deserve better, but this was a surprisingly challenging chapter to write.

I don't know how many of you read my blog that explained what I was going through IRL at the time this story was first published, but here's a summary: breakups, best friend death, bullying at school that the teachers participated in, emotional and verbal abuse from my father regarding my autism, love of ponies, and anything else he could find wrong with me.

But in case you don't care about my personal life, here's the main thing to take away: for several reasons (the biggest one being the introduction of Flurry Heart), I am no longer a Brony/Pegasister. However, I refuse to leave this story incomplete. The story will cover the events up to Twilight's Kingdom and Rainbow Rocks and an epilogue. Everything beyond Twilight's Kingdom and Rainbow Rocks (with very few exceptions) is where the series began to decline in quality for me. The Crystalling and Friendship Games were the straws that broke the camel's back.

So...stay tuned for new chapters, which will hopefully come out at a quicker rate! The next chapter will cover either A Dog and Pony Show or Over a Barrel.

THANKS FOR LISTENING TO MY RANT AND THANKS FOR BEING PATIENT I LOVE YOU GUYS OKAY BYE

Edit 10/21/2017 (11:00 AM) Um...I don't know if this is right or not, but I think this story got featured on the homepage of the site...? Probably because it just got updated. Anyway, before I forget: I've also been working on the chapters for A Canterlot Wedding, Magical Mystery Cure, The Return of Harmony, and Equestria Girls. All of those chapters are going to be AWESOME. Look forward to those!