Fallout Equestria: The Fallen

The best way to ruin a nation is not through war, but through economics.

"Well, you certainly did not disappoint." Royally Rich said as we arrived. Already the abundance of weapons, ammo, explosives and armors were being offloaded the overstocked wagon.

"Never have, and never will." I stated proudly.

"And I see you brought a friendly." She added, looking over at Sticky Note.

"Yes Ma'am. I was actually hoping you'd have a job for me. I spent some years in the MOM special ops so I know combat and can easily teach your staff." Sticky Note stated.

"Well I won't refuse a trained and qualified combat instructor for our security forces. If you'd follow me Soft Spot, I believe a Membership and your rewards are in order." Royally Rich stated.

"Looks like everything's looking up for once." I chuckled.

I followed her to the room where I got my picture taken and given a level one membership card. She then took me to her office where I was given a bag packed with still sealed, never been played with foals toys. Even some stuffed animals. "I hope you become a repeat client and customer. That level one membership will get you in and buy some of the common things, but our more exclusive items are sold to members with a higher ranked membership."

"And I just have to keep doing jobs to get a higher membership?" I inquired, already thinking of what business I'll have to deal with for better deals and trades.

"That or spend a certain amount of caps, but the jobs option is easier. Simply put, a level one membership grants you access to the supermarket, and common foods and medicines for purchase. For level two, you gain access to fresh produce, nothing major just some apples, potatoes and such grown here in the stable, Level three gains you access to the liquor section as well as some appliances. Level four grants you access to all produce, foods and medicines and the like as well as all the appliances and parts. Lastly, level five grants you the ability to buy bulk shipments of products at a rather discounted price. With Luck we can incorporate weapons and ammo into the mix now that we have the means for self protection."

"Sounds like a good system." I nodded.

"It has kept us secure, all we ask that when you come in to check your weapons at the entrance. They will be kept safe in a storage bin and will be returned as you leave."

"Understandable." I nodded. "I'll endeavor to follow that rule…even if I might get a little uncomfortable without it." I said, so used to having a weapon on me that sometimes it felt weird not having it on me.

With that I decided to walk around, see what level one can get me for myself. The section labeled Level one, displayed to me shelves, and shelves, and shelves of boxed, canned and preserved pre war foods. Some toys and decorations were around too. It amazed me just how… new, everything looked too. The storerooms here must have kept this stuff air tight.

"So much stuff…" I muttered. "They're both going to be super happy about this."

I only spent about a hundred caps on some snack foods I was actually surprised to see, and a few more baby items for Lucky. With that I was making my way out.

"Hey, Soft Spot!" I turned, seeing Sticky Note rush up to me. "Glad I caught you before you left. I wanted to give you something."

“Oh? What you got?” I inquired.

"Here." He replied, handing me a Holotape. "The Holotape here has the coordinates of the last known locations of the other Advanced MOM agents before power was lost. I figure since yours got bricked you can grab their stuff and maybe use it for yourself. Oh, and there's a few MOM laboratories marked there too. Places we usually went when our gear needed repairs."

“That’s fantastic.” I nodded, very thankful for this boon as I pocketed it carefully.

"Let me know if you want help if or when you decide to hit those areas. I know the security codes so I can deactivate a lot of the automated turrets.*

“That would be amazing.” I nodded. “Thank you Sticky Note, you have no idea how much this’ll help.”

We talked for a bit longer but I had to go. Heading back was a fair walk but I made it just before dark.

Walking inside, Autumn was reading a book on her bed, Lucky sound asleep in her crib. "You're back." Autumn said as she put the book away and sat up. "Any luck at that Stable?"

“All the luck was had, cause I found a Stable that’s also Barnyard Bargains.” I said happily. “Plus I got a lot of other goodies because of it.”

"Barnyard Bargains… that's an old world store right?" Autumn asked as I placed the bags down and she went through them. "Holy- Soft Spot, this looks new, like, pre war new. I've never seen anything this clean and shiny, even up above the clouds." She said, amazed at the condition of the foals toys and snacks.

“Yeah, I was also surprised by that, they probably got some magically sealed stuff to keep it this great.” I said honestly.

"Maybe, still, this is… incredible." She said, finding the stuffed animals and quickly putting them in Lucky's crib around her. "And these." She lifted a box of snack crackers. "Not any wear or tear on the cardboard. I didn't think magical preservation was that good."

“All I know is that Royally Rich is taking it extraordinarily seriously, and is hoping for some business with others and a whole lotta guards.”

"Hm, well, it's still weird." She shrugged, opening the box and taking a bite. "Wow, they even taste fresh."

We sbacked some before going to bed.

That night I was having a dream. Nightmare? I couldn't tell. All I know is that I was in some, no, this was stable 6, but everyone is… missing. The staff and all the residents are missing?

“Alright…so what the hell am I supposed to do from this nonsense?” I muttered, trotting around to see why everyone was missing.

The goods were all stocked and lined the shelves. I walked around and tried opening the Level 2 doors, but they wouldn't. With a sigh, I kept looking around. What kind of weird dream is this? I've never been so…aware, in my dreams before.

“Hello?” I called out carefully, wondering if there was anyone here.

I walked out and up into the main store and was surprisingly greeted by a fully restored Barnyard Bargains SuperStore. Looking around I spotted… something. Sleeping on a chair next to a Register was some… bipedal thing, wearing what looked like a red hoodie, pants and shoes of all things. The Fuck?

“Uh…hello?” I asked carefully.

I walked closer to it, trying to look at it's face, but either it didn't have one or it was covered by a rather weird mask. It then let out a rather loud snore… a strange creature is sleeping in my dream… maybe the rot is finally getting to my brain?

“Can you wake up and tell me if the rot got to my brain finally or if I’m actually gone insane?” I asked the strange creature, trying to wake it up.

It snorted and woke up spooked, looking around, though if it's wearing a mask it shouldn't be able to see given it's just a flat, curved mask thing, and if that's it's face… how'd it snore or is I'm assuming looking at me. "The hell? You… should not be here." It said, yawning a bit before standing. Woah, it's pretty tall…

“And you shouldn’t be in my dream, so we’re kind of at a stand still on ‘what shouldn’t be happening’.” I said. “And I’m a Ghoul so this is even more weird.”

"Eh." He said, looking me over. "So how did you get here? Something about a dream?" It asked as it circled me.

“Yeah, I went to bed and appeared here in Stable 6…then I saw you here and got more confused as to both what you are, who you are, and how either of us got here.”

"Huh." It replied as it stopped and kneeled down, looking me in the face. "Well, you aren't one of their works, and you definitely aren't a bug…"

“No idea what either of those mean…” I said, honestly worried I got myself into something way bigger than my new paygrade.

"Welp… guess we'll never know." The creature said, standing up with a shrug as I deflated a little at that. Gave up kinda easily… "So, what's your name?"

“Soft Spot, and who are you if I may ask?”

"Shopkeeper. Welcome to… this place." He waved a rather half assed motion across the empty Barnyard Bargains.

“Thanks.” I nodded. “Nothing like a dream version of Barnyard Bargains.”

“Sure, dream, let’s go with that.” Shopkeeper replied as he started walking off and I followed. “So, you’re one of those Ghouls, right? How’d that happen?”

“Magical Radiation.” I shrugged. “Right place at the wrong time during the War.”

“Ah, sounds about right. So, what have you been doing with your undead life?” They asked as they looked up and down the shelves on this isle.

“You know, traveling, trading, trying to help out where I can.” I shrugged. “Just got done helping out a Barnyard Bargain’s Stable get some set up for their reamurgence…still not sure how they had all those toys and food so fresh and pristine…”

“The ones that this place is modeled after?”

“Yes actually.” I nodded.

“Huh… Ah, that explains it, but anyway, the question is what the fuck am I going to do with you?” Shopkeeper asked as they suddenly spun around and looked down at me.

“Well I’m a trader…you're a Shopkeep…” I started. “At least, I assume so due to the shop and your literal name.”

“Well, yeah duh, but as I stated, you should not even be here yet you are and I have no idea what to do with you.”

“Not yet?” I asked. “When was I supposed to be here? Also where is ‘here’ anyways? Cause you’re making it sound like I’m in a different dimension or something.”

“Look, I can’t tell you all that crap. Not my place. Ironic given I used to break those kinds of rules all the time but, not this time. This hasn’t happened before either which… is weird. But, I digress, I’m gonna go make some calls or something, you just… wait here…” Before I could ask, they were gone in less than a blink.

“Uh…huh…” I started. “This…is really weird…”

I ended up doing exactly that, I sat there, reading over the ingredients of whatever was on the shelf next to me. I don’t think I can even pronounce that, let alone should it even be in food. Yeesh, no wonder all the pre-war food is still edible. Stale, but edible at least.

After whatever passes for time here, they showed back up. “Alright, so, long story short, something happened that wasn’t supposed to happen.”

“Glad we got the obvious out of the way.” I nodded. “So, what’s the solution?”

“That’s the best part, there isn’t!” They said rather enthusiastically. “See, long story short you somehow gained something that was, for lack of a better word, removed, from existing. But, it’s alright. It just means you end up here when you sleep. When you fall asleep here, you’ll wake up back where you were.”

“Hold the fuck up what?” I asked, completely flabbergasted at what I just heard. “What do you mean I gained something that was ‘removed from existence’? How do you even do that?”

“Look it’s not a perfect system, if it was we wouldn’t have shit like that remnant roaming around or people like you gaining powers they really shouldn’t be getting at random, yes this happens but yours is the only one that was gained that doesn’t even exist anymore. At least not in this place. We did kinda use it elsewhere for something similar but frankly we removed it from here because, honestly, it was… broken. Look, just know that it’s not harmful.”

“I’d also like to know what the fuck your talking about.” I said, so beyond confused at my current situation I’m glad I was sitting in the first place. “Cause you’re saying a lot of words that would make sense for people…probably massively outside my paygrade right now…”

“It does but relax, none of that concerns you. All you need to know is that when you sleep here, you’ll go home, and when you sleep there, you wake up here. It’s gonna be a thing with you from now on. Also, try not to hold onto anything you didn’t come with.”

“Right…” I said. “So…I’m just kinda stuck in this place until I sleep?”

“Yes, so until then just… hang out, maybe take a walk or something.”

“Uh…huh…” I started. “Well…it’s just this entire area I can walk around?”

“Heh. Check the front door.” He said, his tone gave me the impression he was smiling.

I raised a brow but looked over to the front entrance door. I walked over to it and opened the door and saw… a… city? No, these buildings are all… stores? All around for as far as I can see are just… stores. So many stores.

“What in Celestia’s Tits is this?” I asked in awe.

“Well, I like to call it The Mall.” Shopkeep said as he walked up next to me. “Every store that exists, has existed and will exist, has a replica of it here.”

“But…there’s so much…” I said. “And…I don’t have any money…or if I could even bring it back home…”

“Well ya see…” Shopkeep started. “This place isn’t normally even supposed to be accessed. By people like you especially, so there’s actually just fully stocked stores with endless resources, and no employees. I just come here a lot to check out stuff to sell in my shop.”

“So…it’s just free reign?” I asked. “Well…I suppose that makes sense…what in Tartarus did I get myself into?”

“You can, but again I don’t recommend it. Maybe a small thing here and there but nothing like, a thousand water bottles or a tank or some shit, You might end up attracting the attention of my… associates.”

“And I’d rather not do that if I’m already doing shit I’m not supposed to.” I nodded.

“But feel free to walk around, explore, mess around, I honestly don’t care.”

“Alright then.” I nodded, starting to walk around this…giant mall I’ve somehow stumbled across.

Walking from Barnyard Bargains Superstore, there was a lot of places here. Some smaller locations of Barnyard Bargains, some more ‘modern’ shops selling weapons, bullets and healing potions and all that. Some places that were completely alien to me. The fuck is a Wal-Mart and why would you have a huge store to sell walls?

“Seriously, the fuck is a Wal-Mart?” I frowned, trotting over to that weird ass place.

Walking inside I was suddenly greeted by automatic doors sliding open and showing me that this… was kinda like a Barnyard Bargains… but more… alien. Lot of clothes, food and even a pharmacy were here. Huh. This place is kinda cool.

“This is an interesting store, not gonna lie…” I muttered, looking around this weird place and finding it pretty interesting.

I took a look around. There were some weapons, they looked a lot like guns from, well, home, but built for these aliens to use. There was also some weird electronics. A whole lot of movies, books and such here too. Even their batteries were different, they weren't semi radioactive or all that big. Smallest ones I saw were smaller than a bottle cap.

Their computers were incredible! They displayed color images and we're so small, some were big but even they were smaller than some government computers I've seen, takin up whole rooms or buildings.

“What creatures created all this amazing shit?” I asked in awe.

I walked back around to the food areas. It was actually amazing how similar and different food alone could look, cereal, pasta, bread- Bread?! I haven't had real, pre war style bread in a while. Hard to grow the grain and get enough to make flower alone, then the other stuff, forget it.

But here, lined up before me was alien baked bread, and a whole lot of it.

I wasn’t sure if I was drooling or not, but I felt like I was in heaven at the sight of all this wondrous bread. “Am I in heaven?”

"Please," I jumped, seeing Shopkeeper suddenly next to me, with a mop as he was cleaning up the drool I did leave. "Only Idiots believe that this place would be heaven."

“I’m sorry.” I said, quickly wiping away my drool. “But…all this bread! I haven’t had bread in absolute years and…it’s just lined up with a crap ton here…”

"So, eat some." He said as I looked back up at him. "Everything on the shelves is infinite. Watch." Shopkeep displayed this by taking off a bread loaf from the shelf, tossing it to me and when I looked back at the spot where he took it from there was already another loaf there in its place. "See, this place is my playground, well, one of them, so shit here just restocks automatically."

“Oh…my Celestia…” I said in awe, before opening the package and taking out a piece of bread and eating it happily.

Of all the parts of my body to decay and rot over the last two hundred years, I was always thankful my taste buds were not one of those things. Most ghouls lose some or all their sense of taste within the first year, I thankfully never did. Though sometimes I wish I did when my meal was basically shit.

I ended up eating the whole loaf and found a trash can to toss the wrapper in. After that, I walked around the pet section. It was all canned and bagged food, frozen foods, frozen fruits and veggies too.

“Jeez, there is just a lot of food here.” I said in surprise. “I…know I shouldn’t bring anything…or too much…”

I did want to test that though… something small, just one thing and that will let me know if I've gone nuts or not. I found a candy bar, some peanut cups or something and waited.

I woke up with a yawn as I stretched on my cot. I got up and off, hearing a soft thump hit the floor. Any sleepiness I had vanished as I stared down at the candy I remember picking up from that dream… guess… that wasn't a dream…

Shit! Okay, relax. Just… Don't do that often, like, at all, and maybe don't tell anyone. I mean, hell who'd believe me anyway?!

“Uh…right…” I muttered worriedly. “So that was…an experience.”

I looked over, seeing that Autumn was still asleep so I quickly put that candy in with the snacks. With Luck she won't question it.

I decided to check up on Lucky, the little foal was cuddling a stuffed butterfly almost twice her size. Cute.

“This is nice.” I muttered with a smile, just glad to see Autumn and Lucky both safe and sound.

I covered Lucky with her blanket a bit more and then headed out, grabbing my gun and deciding to check outside, make sure it's all safe still. Once outside I made it to my small perch atop the rocks around my cave. From here I can see New Appaloosa in the distance, Ponyville way down south of here. Thankfully those raiders don't travel up here often, few times they did, I used this spot to snipe them. I also put a few traps up along the road this way, keeps them at bay. Bastards are so drunk and high all the time they can barely shoot straight let alone disarm most simple traps.

“How in Tartarus did my life get this…complicated all of a sudden?” I muttered to myself.

I shook my head. All that… crap, Shopkeep and that 'Mall' and all that, just… don't think about it, I'm home now. And as dangerous as things are here, at least it makes more sense than all that crap. With a deep sigh I picked up the rifle I kept up here and looked through the scope. Whole lot of ruins, rocks, and broken up roads. Same old wasteland.

“At least this makes…some modicum of sense…” I muttered. “EVen if it’s just a wasteland…”

While I was up here I had myself a quick smoke, not like it will kill me. Once that was done I headed back down, finding Tazer Fang by the chariot, which I kept hidden between another set of large rocks. There's so many rocks here, huge, convenient, bullet proof rocks.

“And how’s my favorite cyber kitty doing?” I asked, trotting over and lightly petting the synthetic cat.

"Meow." Tazer replied, purring slightly. Looking over I spotted a small pile of dead rats and what looked like a very crispy bloat sprite corpse all in a corner.

“That’s a good Tazer Fang.” I said happily.

"Meow." They replied.

"Maggot!" I jumped, spinning as I spotted that Mr. Gutsy robot from the army base here now. "Awaiting orders Sir, Maggot, Sir!".

Did… did it follow me from that base, to stable six and back?!

“Hold on…did you follow me, all the way from the base, to stable six and back?” I asked in shock.

"Of course Maggot!" It replied loudly. "You are my designated handler, and now that the armory is empty, my programming dictates receiving new orders from my handler!"

“Well first, can you tone it down? You don’t need to shout everything.”

"Yes I do, it's in my programming!"

"Meow." Tazer gave an annoyed meow.

"Shove it up your ass tiny stripe!"

“Oi! You do not shout at my cat.” I frowned. “But…great…well, what are your capabilities?”

"I come fitted with a nine millimeter, fifty yard range plasma blaster, an enchanted diamond tipped buzz saw capable of cutting through steel, stone, concrete and Zebra skulls, and lastly a high powered flamer capable of reaching two thousand degrees!"

“Good…now what are you capable of doing besides your weapons?” I asked.

"I have many blank storage drives ready for multiple program installations, and I have a repair program for all Equestrian made weapons!"

“That’ll help a bit if I can find some storage drives for things other than military.” I nodded.

"I am all military, always!"

“Great…” I muttered. “Well anyways…you can be good for security.”

"Directive confirmed! Keep the area secure!" It said, giving a half salute with their Buzz Saw appendage and floating off.

“That’s probably not going to end well…” I muttered to myself.

With a sigh I headed back inside. I saw Autumn at the stove, half asleep and making some coffee. "Mornin…" She muttered.

“Morning Autumn.” I nodded. “How you doing?”

"Sleepy." She said, rubbing her eyes.

“Fair.” I nodded. “So, we got ourselves a bodyguard by pure accident.”

"How?" She asked, pouring out the coffee into a mug she immediately started drinking from.

“So I found a military bot in one of the Stables I was searching for a Job for Royally Rich, and now I’m…it’s commanding officer.”

"Wow, well, that's nice. Those military robots can take a lot of hits." She said, the coffee clearly helping her wake up already. "So, what's on the agenda today?"

“Well, was probably going to go back to Royally Rich and see if she had any jobs for me, maybe tell Ditzy about Barnyard Bargains and see if she can’t get a partnership with them to boost her business.” I shrugged.

"That would be best, oh, I was also hoping you can find maybe some educational stuff. Normally in the Enclave education starts pretty early, simple memory games and such to show how quickly a foal can learn before they get into the main schooling. Since I'm down here and I kinda doubt many places have much in terms of a school, I think some basic mathematics and literature books will be enough. Odds are they have them in that stable too."

“Alright.” I nodded. “I’ll see if I can find anything.”

"Thanks. Oh, also I remembered something last night when I was working on the terminals, there are some Enclave Caches and hidden bases around they keep with some stuff for restocking or long term ground missions. I figure, Fuck it, that gear will go better for us than their once every ten years bullcrap."

“Sounds good, also I was given a Holotape with coordinates to MOM special operatives, I could go scavenging for those and maybe see if others are weirdly alive somehow.” I shrugged. “Got it from a new friend I made while helping Royal.

"Nice, at least you have a fair checklist. I'll mostly be fixing some weapons and a few other items Ditzy dropped off. Kinda weird to use Radroach blood as a gun oil substitute, but it works so I won't question it."

“When you’re in the Wastelands, you’ll learn a whole lot of things can be pretty good substitutes.” I shrugged.

"Fair. So, where are you going to go next?"

I decided to check my map, the locations of those marked places from Blown Fuse and the MOM labs and agent locations were all marked. Wow they are all over the place… hmm, well let's see, where is closest? Ah, perfect. This MOM base is in a radiation zone half a day's walk from here. With luck any ghouls there won't bother me and all I'll have to worry about is some worn down automatic security. Best bring Tazer Fang.

“Alright, so the closest MOM base is only a half day’s travel from here, though it’s in a Radiation Zone so it’s gonna be me and Tazer this time.”

"That's good, I'm guessing areas with radiation don't get a lot of scavenging?"

“Unless they have really good Rad suits, or just a Rad Suit, or a special Ghoul like Myself, nobody goes there.” I explained.

"Wow, that's pretty useful. How long can you stay in an irradiated area?"

“Radiation heals me.” I said honestly. “Being a Ghoul has a lot of perks, and not only being immune to Radiation, but being healed by it in some capacity is also great.”

"Ah, so that's why your water is radioactive. Well, stay safe."

Having this carriage made walking slower, but it was worth it to have both a bed and storage with me. There's only so much saddlebags can carry. Tazer sat on my back, watching the land go by as we began reaching the edge of the radiation in the area. The pipbuck said it was five rads per minute.

“Not as high as I thought it would be, but still enough to make many people stay clear…” I hummed to myself.

The further I got the MOM base the higher the rads were getting. Ten, fifteen, thirty. By the time I saw the base, it was one fifty rads a minute.

Ministry of Morals Happy Funtime Robotics Party Factory!

That's what the once neon sign still read, long since faded images showed bits of the Pink mare herself, and lots of robo pinkies all painted on the wall. Oh right, she did make a bunch of foals party locations. Basically giant arcades made with a lot of robot staff members, candies, and sweets enough to make any dentist cry in horror.

“Well…it might all be irradiated to shit, but I might as well see if there’s anything I can salvage…” I muttered.

I unhooked the chariot from myself and headed inside, opening the doors I was greeted by grime, dirt, and a lot of broken, even melted, robots.

It especially creeped me out because these bots were built to look kinda lifelike, Ponies, Griffons, even a Minotaur model was made. How Pinkie afforded this I'll never know, nor will I ever want to.

“All these mysteries I’ll never figure out…” I sighed out, going around the melted bots carefully in search of something.

The hulls were all pretty bad, but the insides were pretty good. I took out the gems, batteries and wires and Tazer did the same, ripping out what his metallic jaw clamped on, unless he desired to eat that bit of metal or gem. As I emptied out the first robot and was moving to the second, I heard something in the distance. Turning, the Pipbuck read nothing was there.

“Alright…now this is getting a bit creepy…” I muttered, walking over to where the noise was, readying my weapon just in case.

As I walked down the hall, I heard small creek's and the moans of old metal. As I was walking I spotted something that surprised me. Etched into the wall was a single word. Run.

“What horror movie bullshit is in this place?” I muttered, starting to panic a bit that there was a monster in this place of a 150 rad’s a minute and also survived a nuclear explosion.

As I was considering getting the hell out of here, I spotted Tazer Fang running down a doorway leading downstairs.

“Well…shit…” I muttered, running after my cyber cat in worry for it’s safety.

When I made it down the stairs some old lights came on and a half dead speaker began talking with a static filled background. "Welcome Guests! This is the Funtime Robotics testing and display room!" The Voice said, more old lights coming on and illuminating the room. Various old and grimy robots all standing in small set up displays.

“How the hell is there any power here?” I frowned.

I walked around, taking a look at each of these robots. It was… weird. The closest one was a Griffon, once a shiny gold and blue, now dirty and faded paint.

It wore a top hat and tie that was part of it's outer casing. When I got close, it's eyes glowed, opening and showing their rather realistic green colors as it looked over at me. "Well hello there party guest!" It spoke, a feminine voice speaking from the robot. "My name is Goldie Griffon! Is it your birthday today?" It asked, their movements slow, but… oddly, natural looking.

“Uh…no…” I answered carefully. “Uh…do you know where you are?”

"Why, the Display room of course!" She answered. "I've been waiting for this set up to get started, two hundred and nine years, four months, three weeks and two days! Those delays must have been t-t-t-t- terrible!" That was a small glitch, but she seemed good, still.

“Uh…yeah…” I said carefully. “So uh…how would you react if I were to say that…the world has become a semi irradiated wasteland?” I asked nervously.

"Why, I'd say it looks like the foals of today need parties more than ever if the world is a wasteland!" She replies with a smile.

“So I have a very important question to ask…how do you still function? As you said it’s been over two hundred years.”

"My internal batteries are built to last and hold a charge for three hundred years! That's a Pinkie Promise!" Goldie said, giving me a thumbs up.

“Hold the fuck up I don’t remember anything like that being a thing.” I said in honest shock.

"It's experimental, just like me." Her happy go lucky attitude was… oddly refreshing, given the Wasteland. Even if she was some weird robot.

“Well…all in all, you’re about as much of a breath of fresh air as can be in this place so…there’s that.’ I shrugged.

"Lovely! Well, shall we take a tour and I can introduce you to my friends here?"

“If any of them are still working and not broken in some way shape or form than sure.” I nodded.

With a nod Goldie began skipping, yes, skipping and making rather heavy and loud thuds as she did, to the next nearest of the four bots nearby. This one was a pony, unicorn with clown makeup painted on its face. The body was all white and the mane and tail a poofy pink. All of that was dirty and faded though.

"This here is The Magical Magnolia! Say hi Magnolia." Goldie asked her robot friend. Magnolia simple flickered her eyes, static escaping wherever she speaks from before stopping. "Oh no! Magnolia! Are you alright? Do you need to visit Parts and Services again?" Goldie then leaned in next to me. "Her horn uses up a lot more magic faster than the rest of us, so she uses up her batteries fast, even in standby." She whispered to me.

“That seems like a…very terrible design flaw…” I stated honestly.

"Well, while Magnolia sleeps, let's check up on the others!" Goldie said as she lead me to the next robot. This one was a large, towering minotaur. His colors was a bright violet and he wore a chef's hat and apron. "This is Cook-Cook! He's our chef and resident strong pony! He can make Pizza, cakes, cupcakes, cookies, milkshakes, ice cream and dispense soda! Got anything ready Cook-Cook?"

The Minotaur robot's eyes lit up, a bright yellow as it stood up, made some shakes and heat radiated from it before his chest popped open and from there came a tray with three chocolate chip cookies.

“Uh…huh…” I started in surprise.

I took the cookies, trying them. Huh, not bad. Ingredients are old but that's common.

"Thank you Cook-Cook!" Goldie said as the Minotaur bot nodded. "He doesn't have a voice box yet, with everything else they built him with, there wasn't enough room for it." Goldie informed.

“Fair.” I nodded.

The next bot she brought me to was a dragon, not that huge but thin and oddly still quite shiny even with the grim and dirt on her bright orange scale like casing. "This here is Gemrock, good morning Gemrock!"

The robot Dragon's eyes lit up with a ruby red color as looked over at us. "Oh, good morning Goldie I must have entered standby mode."

"Yup, talk about a delay, we've been waiting for two hundred years!" Goldie informed.

"Oh, oh my. Well, are you one of the guests?" Gemrock asked me.

“Uh…technically?” I said nervously. “Honestly I was just seeing what I could Salvage as…well the entire world went to shit.”

"Oh my, those poor foals…" Gemrock said.

"I know, now show our guest here your roar!" Goldie said.

With a smile and a nod, she opened her maw, and out came confetti, bubbles, small balloons, silly string, and all while Happy Birthday was playing. When she stopped she then pulled some paper from a sleeve on her and used her claws and cut up some paper silhouettes.

“Uh…huh…” I started. “Right then…”

"You… didn't like it?"

“It was neat.” I said. “I’ve just been…effectively a walking corpse for the past two hundred years.” I pointed out. “Which uh…seeing actual joy and party stuff is…extremely rare.”

"So you didn't like it…"

"Oh no…" Goldie said. Before I could question, Gemrock started crying, then ran off into one of the doorways on the wall. "Gemrock! Wait, he didn't not like it, it's just not his birthday!"

“What the hell did I get myself into?” I groaned, rubbing my temple for a moment before trotting off after them.

Goldie put a hoof to my side. "Just give her some time. Her programing is recycled from an empathy bot and was stitch programmed with some other old AI personality module so… she's extremely emotional. If the guests aren't happy when she preforms she gets like this. She just needs to calm down for a bit."

“She’s not going to like the outside world at that point…” I sighed out.

"Well, that's why Cook-Cook, Magnolia and I are her friends! We help one another with our faults. That was Pinkie Pie's idea after all. Now come on, one last friend to show!"

I followed her to the final area. This bot was under a sheet and was very short. She pulled the sheet off and I was genuinely shocked. They were… a zebra. A small zebra foal robot. "And this, is Little Acorn!"

“Oh no one’s going to like this kid…” I muttered sadly.

Goldie sighed. "That's what all the technicians and business ponies and mean beta testers all said. Well, they said mean words but it was basically that." Goldie kneeled down some, getting to Little Acorn's level. "Time to rise and shine Acorn."

The little zebra bot's eyes began to glow, their color a bright blue. His paint and everything was still pristine. "Good morning Ms. Goldie." Acorn said, a very organic and realistic foal's voice with a zebricain accent spoke.

"Morning Acorn, this is our guest. I'm sorry, there's no foals here though…"

"Oh, alright. I'll go play with Cook-Cook!" He said dashing off towards the Minotaur bot like, well, a foal.

“Dear Luna’s flank…” I sighed out. “I feel sad for the kid but…the war makes it really hard…”

"Yeah… Well, that's everyone. Well, technically not but the others were all still in storage. Well, I just realized, I haven't gotten your name Mr. Guest."

“Soft Spot.” I nodded. “It’s nice to meet all of you…I honestly didn’t expect anything to survive here pre war.”

"Well, we are robots so, it makes sense we'd survive well enough. I guess the question is, what now?"

“Well…there’s a lot of people that need cheering up.” I said honestly. “Only problem is that all of you might be…hold on a moment.” I said, bringing up my pipbuck and trying to see how many rads Goldie was emitting.

I was still at 150 a minute. Damn, background radiation is all over this place.

“Crap, there’s way too much radiation here to get a good reading…” I muttered.

"Well, maybe check in the offices? They keep our blueprint and such up there. I'd follow but without an Admin Remote we aren't allowed to leave beyond this and parts and services."

“Alright.” I nodded. “And where would the offices be?”

“Just go back upstairs and look for the stairs that go up."

With a nod I headed back up, then I remembered. Shit, Tazer!

“Tazer? Where are you?” I called out to my robokitty.

"Tazer? What and who is a Tazer?"

“It’s the cyber cat that’s running around here.” I said, looking around for the silly thing.

"You have a kitty, awh. Well, the only places they could have run off too is Parts and Services, and storage."

“Well, hopefully they don’t eat everything.” I said nervously. “Where’s Part’s and Services and Storage?”

"That's to the right there, it's where Gemrock ran off to."

“Alright.” I nodded, running off to Part’s and Services to find Tazer.

Entering the old doors, I was greeted with the scent of old oil and rust. Turning on a light nearly felt my heart give out, or start? On the floor in front of me was what I can only call a skeleton of metal and wires, on the floor with an appendage reached towards the doorway, a single eye in it's metallic 'skull'

“What in the fuck!?!”

"I heard a swear!" Goldie said, rushing through the doors. "No swears! Oh." She looked down at the thing. "Is that what spooked you?"

“Yes, yes it did.” I answered. “Also I’m a grown stallion, I can swear as much as I’d like.”

"It's just an endoskeleton. We all have them." Goldie said, pushing a button under her chin and her face popped off, revealing the same horror of metal underneath. She then popped her face back on. "They were built to be highly customizable, adaptable, and strong and durable. That way they don't have to make each of us so unique parts wise."

“Uh…right…” I said, shivering as even in my undeath I was really creeped out by this.

"It is weird that this one is here. Guess one of the employees must have set it up like this as a prank. They did that a lot with our Endoskeletons."

“Uh…curious question…has any of these ever…moved on their own for some weird reason?” I asked nervously.

"They shouldn't. The Endoskeletons aren't supposed to have batteries hooked up to them. Without the casings and other parts they move weird without them."

“Now I know you said that they need batteries to move…but I’m concerned when you said ‘they shouldn’t’....”

"Well, I know our batteries are similar to fusion cores, which are radioactive in nature so maybe the radiation around might trigger something? I'm only going off the bits and pieces of stuff I've heard the technicians say when they worked on me."

“Oh…okay.” I said worriedly. “Now where did my cat go?”

I looked around, finding more bits and parts of the Endoskeletons and other casings for the group outside. It was honestly… so, so creepy.

“Two hundred years of walking around irradiated wastelands…I’ve seen mutans, ghouls, and deathclaws…but somehow this is the creepiest thing I’ve seen in all my life…”

"It's because of the way they display them. It's why they were very strict on not letting customers into the back rooms like here. Lot of nightmare fuel."

"And I can understand why…"

I continued through, looking around and I ended up spotting a large workstation. Several holotapes, a terminal, and an earth pony skeleton were here.

"Uh-oh. Looks like somepony got a fatal boo-boo." Goldie said, giving the skeleton a poke.

“He’s dead.” I said carefully. “And it looks like he’s been dead for a long time…most likely radiation poisoning all things considered.”

While Goldie kept poking the skeleton, I picked up the five Holotapes. With nothing better to do, I played them.

"Technicians Log 1. My name is Misty River and this is test one of the prototype Endoskeletons for the Ministry of Moral's Project Equality. This is a very early project Ministry Mare Pinkie Pie has had planned but due to red tape and the war, will be followed through in secret here at the MOM main robotics development lab.

"Test one. The materials for the Endoskeletons has proven expensive but they allow the Endo to move and flex almost exactly as organic muscle. Without a casing to house then however their movements can resemble that of a snake or squids and octopi. It would seem based on these Blueprints, they were made using prototype Power Armor materials, which explains why they use Fusion Cores are used as a power supply rather than the standard Spark Batteries most robots do.

"The Endoskeletons are well built and definitely show they were made with Power Armor components. The base endoskeleton without modifications seem to be able to lift sustainability over two thousand pounds with minimal wear on the battery. They also seem to last far longer than typical Power Armor, which can use up a fusion core in a day or two depending on use, these Endoskeletons can last hundreds of years, the typical lifespan of the Fusion Core when used for powering a building.

"Making them easily modifiable and customizable was the hardest part but thankfully this Project has some extra funding from the Ministry of Image. I guess Pinkie Pie and Rarity get along well if they want a project like this to really get off it's hooves."

“Huh…” I started. “That’s…very interesting.” I muttered. “All these robots as strong as prototype power armor?”

I played the next tape.

"Technicians Log 14. Misty River, again. After months of testing and development the finalized Endoskeletons are ready. Now we're onto variety and design. Pinkie Pie sent down she wanted one of every race as one of these Robots but that's gonna take a while, so, we're going to start off with some more familiar designs, Pony, obviously. Getting all that done was fairly easy and frankly the hardest part is the AI. Pinkie Pie have explicit orders to make them as realistic and alive as possible. Which, frankly, will be the hard part. The Ministry of Image sent their own 'AI expert' to work on this with us but I frankly do not trust or like him. He gives me the creeps everytime I see him and he looks a little ill. What he has, I don't want it.

"But, alas, my complaints are to myself. There's a lot of money in this project and I can't afford failure. So, I'm working with the creep. Says his name is Teddy Dunwich. I have yet to see him type on a computer, he just keeps submitting forms for auditions for voice actors to be used for the robots rather than machine generated voices. It would help their believability but frankly I think he's just wasting resources."

"That's…really creepy…" I said worriedly.

Next tape.

"Technicians Log 44. Misty River. So far we've completed three of the robots bodies, we got Goldie the Griffoness, Magnolia the Magician, who's artificial horn uses up those Fusion Cores faster than even Power Armor does. Which is a major downside given she's supposed to make music with her magic and yet when she uses her horn it lasts maybe an hour. And lastly we have Gemrock the Dragoness. The last two are a Minotaur Model who Pinkie has us putting everything from the kitchen but the sink into, and, oddly but fittingly enough, a Zebra foal bot.

"Frankly, I can see why, these robots are meant to lessen the bigotry and hate towards the other races amongst foals and I can see a lot of parents up for it… but a Zebra… that's just too fresh and I'm worried some ponies will up and destroy it. But, still I have to work on it so, I'm working on them.

"As usual, Teddy Dunwich is still doing his voice casting. I'm pissed at how picky he's being. He wants a real dragon to voice Gemrock, a real Griffon to Voice Goldie. And you get the picture. I'm actually amazed he even found some."

“Well that’s…interesting…” I muttered.

"Technician log 67. Misty River. Honestly these Logs are becoming more like Diary entries but, whatever. The Minotaur Bot, Cook-Cook, is completed. Took only forever. He is prone to overheating given all his… internal additions but so long as he has an hour break between baking or whatever he'll be fine. The Zebra foal bot, named Little Acorn is fairly simple but has a vast data library on Zebra culture and history. Still, no AI's yet.

"Teddy Dunwich insists on waiting to hoof them over until after his cast is complete. What's worse is that now that all that's left is Acorn and Magnolia, he's requesting that all unicorn staff apply for the voice casting role. Frankly I'm glad I am an earth pony, but I do feel sorry for all my coworkers.

"I actually got to meet one of his 'cast' a few days ago. The dragon one. She's a teenager, named Smolder. Apparently she opted to leave the dragon lands cause she saw the war as just being pointless. I liked her immediately. She said she only took the job cause it's easy bits and all Teddy Dunwich has them doing is recording seemingly random voice lines into a microphone for hours a day. I'm beginning to wonder if the Ministry of Image sent the wrong pony after all, cause it sure doesn't sound like he's making those AI's and the deadline is fast approaching."

“Well that’s good to know.” I nodded to myself, honestly fascinated by what this guy’s going through and also wondering who the hell this Teddy Dunwich is cause that does not sound like a Pony name.

"Technician Log 94. Misty River. It took him way to fucking long but Dunwich finally delivered those AI programs. They were on some special data drives and looked kinda funky but once put in they worked as hoped. Better even actually. Hell Acorn I almost forgot he's a robot!

It's incredible. I had my doubts but I guess the guy was doing something after all. Kinda weird to be hearing Melody Storm's voice coming out of Magnolia, but it fits and she did always have a good singing voice. Kinda sucked that she got fired, she would have loved to see these things in action!"

“Well than, that’s rather…interesting…” I frowned, thinking about how the hell they would have needed to make a robot so…life like…

Next was the terminal. It wasn't locked and was just full of some repair logs and shipment orders. With nothing of value there I went back to looking for Tazer, eventually finding the cat clawing at the door leading to storage.

“There you are you silly cat.” I said, trotting over to Tazer. “What are you looking for in storage?”

He kept clawing at it. It was a heavy metal door, ment to slide open. With some effort and against my better judgment, I opened it. Inside w- what in the name of hell…

Inside I was greeted by Ghouls. Some were the glowing kind, and there was a lot of them, but that's not what shocked me. Melted and fused into their bodies were Endoskeletons. Some had multiple, some had parts, but in the center of it all was an unholy amalgamation of ghouls and robotics pulsating and moving.

“WHAT IN CELESTIA AND LUNA’S UNBORN LOVE CHILD IS THAT!?!” I shrieked in fear

I rapidly shut the door. I'm hyperventilating. Fuck I haven't done that long since before I became a ghoul.

"Another swear!" Goldie said, rushing back up to me. "Oh, you found your kitty? Yay!"

“Shut it Goldie, we need to leave, now.” I said in honest fear. “There’s…something in there, and I don’t like it at all…”

"In what? In there?" She asked, pointing at the door. "Is it a surprise?"

“No, it’s a horrid abomination of machinery and mindless irradiated ghouls.” I told her bluntly. “It’s not a surprise, it’s a horror show…”

"Oooohhhh… well that's not fun. Or foal appropriate."

"We need to leave this place…”

"But I can't. Not without an admin tool to override our travel area, and Magnolia needs new batteries! Oh wait, here they are." She said, picking up a box filled with Fusion Cores. What the Steel Rangers wouldn't kill for that…

“Merciful Discord…” I groaned. “Fine, let’s go find that Admin Tool so we can all get out of this hellhole.’

"Swear~" Goldie said as I huffed and walked with her out back into the main room. Tazer in tow. To my surprise Gemrock was back in there too. "Well, if there wasn't one in Parts and Services, then there should be one in the upstairs offices."

“Alright…so we better get up there and leave…after also making sure that door is locked forever…”

"I can't go upstairs either. Our last travel area was set to this floor and Parts and Services. We try and go out and we shut down until an official MOM technician comes and hauls us back and boots us back up."

“Well then I’ll do it, where is the place?” I asked carefully.

"Upstairs." She said simply.

I sighed. Right, She's never left this room so… right.

I went back upstairs and found the stairway up. My inner scavenger and my need to get the hell out of here were currently at odds on whether or not it would be worth looking through the other places… well, might as well look everywhere just to be safe.

The second floor seemed to consist of offices and such. Some bottle caps in the trash, so that's helpful… hmm, company terminal? Well, might be something here and it's…

To: Staff
From: Manager Cheese Sandwich

Hello everyone! We've got a guest from the MOI coming so make sure to set up office J9 on the ninth floor for them!

And as always make sure they're welcome and happy! Happy ponies are the best ponies!

“Well…that’s probably this Dunwich guy…” I frowned.

With nothing else useful I ended up just scavenging as normal. Lots of tossed bottle caps and some extra irradiated sparkle cola was a nice haul. It went like this for all the other floors until I got to floor nine. The atmosphere here was… definitely different. There were a few skeletons around, a makeshift recording booth set up here too and finally room J9.

“Alright…so what horror’s am I going to see here?” I frowned, walking over carefully to the room and knocking on it.

No answer. Makes sense. Door is locked too. Well, time for a lock popper.

A small explosion later the door was open and inside was… oddly, not much. A terminal, a suitcase, and a table with two odd data drives on it. They were odd because they were imprinted with the MOI logo on them and seemed to use ports I sure as Fuck have never seen.

The terminal was locked and the suitcase had a single Holotape in it.

“Alright…let’s see what the Holotape has for me.” I muttered.

I popped it in and hit play.

"Entery number 462. My name is Teddy Dunwich, and recently, Ministry Mare Rarity has tasked me with a special project, a form of collaboration with the MOM. Apparently Miss Pie wants to make robotic, lifelike versions of various creatures to try and lessen the rapid growing fires of bigotry and racism growing because of the war.

"She expects this to fail, but a chance to test my theories has been given and I won't waste it. I'm one of just a few she trusts with the knowledge in her recently acquired asset, and I plan on taking full advantage of this opportunity. This facility is just one of many I will be visiting on this sinking ship of a project the MOM is working on, but they will provide me will all I shall need.

"With luck, in the near future, this will all have been worth the cost of… clean up."

Teddy Dunwich's voice sounded sick. Like, actually sick. Weak and fragile, as if he was ill with a petal illness.

“That’s…really weird…and also clean up?” I frowned.

With the terminal locked, I picked up Tazer. He eyed the computer before his little dish popped out again. This time the terminal's screen flash by a rapid series of code.

While Tazer did… that, I pocketed those weird Data Drives and after a few minutes, Tazer was done and the terminal was unlocked.

He immediately dug into my bags and began eating some gems.

“Must have took a lot out of ya huh?” I asked, gently petting my robokitty.

While Tazer ate I examined the terminal. More audio logs?

Gabby's Audition. Smolder's Audition, Melody Storm's Addition, Cast Iron's Audition, and Zeike's Audition.

“Alright…let’s start with Gabby…” I muttered, clicking on Gabby’s audition log.

"Alright Miss Gabby, speak your lines."

"Oh, uh, alright. Ehem. Greetings, and welcome to Pinkie Pie's Funtastic Funland! Where games and toys and treats are all for your delight!"

"Perfect."

"So… I'm hired?"

"Yes."

"Hooray!"

Well, this Gabby Is definitely the voice actress for Goldie. Definitely kinda freaky.

“I…really hope I’m not going to learn this asshole shoved her into that robot…” I muttered worriedly.

Alright, next tape, Smolder's Audition.

"Go on, say the lines."

"Okay, Okay…Happy birthday little Princess."

"Embarrassed?"

"Kinda… yes… I've always wanted to come to Equestria, and being a dragon is not like being, well, a pony. Socially the weak pick on the strong so the younglings typically don't get along with older drakes. Feels weird saying this."

"I suppose it would. They raise you to lack emotions but all these lines require is Emotions."

"Basically… sorry for wasting your-"

"I didn't say stop. We can… work around some issues, help you get back in touch with your own emotions."

"You're… serious?"

"Like Scale Rot."

Well, that's definitely Genrock's voice.

“Huh…that’s pretty interesting.” I said honestly.

Next, Melody Storm.

"Now Miss Storm, please sing the first line."

"Fine. Ehem. Deep in the meadow we lie, wishing and waiting for sunlight. Oh to see the dawn breaking through the cold of the night."

"That was perfect."

"So, what I get the part?"

"It will pay about as much as your normal rate but less hours for the same pay."

"Sold."

Wow. So that's what Magnolia is supposed to sound like, that's one amazing singing voice.

“This is pretty good actually…” I muttered. “Wonder how he managed to find all these people?”

Well, next up, Cast Iron.

"So, you've made pastries and such before?"

"Yes."

"Quite the culinary resume honestly. What brought you here?"

"Ponies are racist and I need money."

"Fair enough. This part doesn't require much in terms of vocal lines. But the pay is the same as everyone else. Might even have you help program in recipes."

"Works for me."

“Sounds about right…” I sighed out, knowing Ponies were…rather racist way back when.

Even now… still a lot of hate.

Finally, Zeike.

"And you're sure, it will work?"

"It will, but you'll be throwing away all your family, your people, believe in. Once you accept there is no turning back."

"My people… the Zebra's, just as *cough* blind as ponies in this war. I hate them both…"

"Hate is a strong word, especially for a foal no older than ten."

"Hate is all they gave me for being a Zebra, and hate is all the Zebra's are giving in return. *Cough, Cough*."

"So, you pick not to hate either, but to leave it all behind?"

"Better than to live the rest of my life, however long that is, hooked to this… thing, unable to play or be free."

"Alright then Zeike, as you wish. I will be back tomorrow with the supplies."

“Dear gods…” I muttered bitterly. “Even a foal is sick and tired of it all…to such a degree as to abandon everything just for some voice lines…”

It was just voice lines… right?

I checked the desk, finding an item the Pipbuck told me was the Admin tool. With that I went back downstairs.

“I…really don’t like what I’m thinking about…” I muttered. “What am I going to do?”

When I got back to the display room, the bots were packing up some boxes with… parts. Lots of parts. "Hey, you're back!" Goldie said, rushing over to me. "We're mostly done. Also Magnolia is operating again."

"Hi." Magnolia waved, packing an endoskeleton head into a box. "Thanks for the batteries. I hate running out of juice."

“No problem…” I said. “So uh…question, do you know who you’re voices…came from?”

"Uh, voice actors." Goldie said.

"Yeah, save for Cook-Cook, his voice box didn't have room." Magnolia added. Cook-Cook just shrugged.

“Alright…” I said carefully. “Do you know what happened to your voice actors after they were hired?” I asked, getting a little dangerous with my questions here.

"Nope!" Goldie informed.

“Alright…” I said carefully. “So uh…yeah this place is a massive horror show, and there’s many things I really hope some deranged madman didn’t do so we’re all getting out here.” I said while bringing up the Admin Tool.

"Oh yay!"

"You know how to use it?" Magnolia asked.

“Nope, but all I know is that we need to get out of here before those animatronic ghouls break down that door.” I said carefully. “If they even know where they are or what’s going on…”

"You mean like that?" Gemrock asked, pointing at the ghoulmateonics limping their deformd bodies out from Parts and Services.

"That is nasty! Endoskeletons don't go inside ponies!" Goldie yelped.

"Speak into the device then push the button on the side." Little Acorn told me, rushing under me for cover.

“Oh come on!” I shouted in panic, pulling up the device. “All fully functioning animatronics, Goldie, Little Acorn, Cook-Cook, Magnolia and Gemrock are now able to roam freely.” I said while pressing the button after I said those words.

Goldie, Cook-Cook, Gemrock, Magnolia and Acorn all had their eyes flash for a bit. They then picked their parts and everything up and ran upstairs with me. Once we made it to the chariot, I hooked myself and-

Or Cook-Cook picks me up and pulls us all by himself. Wow he is fast. I turned back to the robotics lab. Goodbye forever!

“Is there anyone else back there we needed to help?” I asked, holding onto Tazer Fang nervously.

"Hmm, nope! That lab was just developing us. Don't know about the other labs though."

Oh great, there's more places like that one…

“Discord’s teeth, what nonsense did MOM get up to with this garbage?” I grumbled.