I’m pretty sure you’ve had one of those moments before. One of those moments in which you have not the slightest idea what is going on, and the only thing on your mind is ‘What the hell just happened!?'
In most cases those moments are related to a certain event that has occurred shortly before, and you probably found yourself either laughing if the preceding event was of funny nature, or shocked if it was of a more horrifying nature.
In any case, chances are you were speechless, baffled, flummoxed, whatever you may call it. You were unable to digest what you had just witnessed or were witnessing in that very moment.
I had one of those moments just recently, and I still can’t seem to make any sense of it up to this day.
It was early in the morning – the sun hadn’t risen yet, and I was still lying in my bed in a deep sleep when it happened.
The first thing I heard was a muffled voice, coming from somewhere outside my bedroom. It was male, sounded somewhat croaky, and I couldn’t help but notice that it felt familiar, as if I’d heard it before.
This was indeed a little odd since I was the only one living in my apartment and didn’t have any neighbors that normally were awake at that time, but I didn’t give it a second thought since, well, there were quite a lot of possible explanations for this sudden nuisance, and I was way too tired to worry my head about petty things like that.
“Probably just the mailman…” I muttered to myself and rolled over, determined to enjoy the few hours of sleep I had left.
However, just as I was about to drift back into dreamland and forget about this little incident, the noise from outside grew louder, the voice now got accompanied by a full set of drums and electric guitars.
I slowly opened my eyes, laboriously lifting my left arm and looking at my watch: it was 4.40am – too early for the sun to rise, too early for me to get up, and definitely too early for some antisocial jackass in my neighborhood to blast his damned punk rock music.
You should know that I’m not an aggressive person, neither am I looking for trouble, but I can’t stand it when people wake me up at the dead of night, especially not on a Monday morning.
I remained silent for another moment, hoping for the music to just die away so that I could get back to sleep, but it felt like it would just grow louder with every second that passed.
So I reluctantly sat up in my bed, freed my feet from underneath my blanket, and stood up, determined to put an end to this unjustified nuisance.
I opened the door to my bedroom, and the music got both, a good lot louder and clearer in the second I stepped into my hallway. Yes, it definitely was a rock song that had interrupted my night's rest; I was pretty sure I even knew the artist, but my still drowsy mind wouldn’t let me put my finger on it.
However, as I left my bedroom and walked through my darkened apartment, aiming at the exit door, I noticed something. The music didn’t seem to come from outside, neither did it seem to come from somewhere above or below my apartment. No, on closer examination, it seemed to come from somewhere near me. I turned my head, letting my gaze wander throughout the small hallway, until it stopped on the door that led to my bathroom.
It was by then that I noticed the thin beam of light that escaped the room through the small gap between door and doorframe – it seemed somebody had gained access to my bathroom without my permission, then turned all the lights on and the music up.
I felt my heart beat inside my chest as the thought of a burglary came to my mind. But why would a burglar search for valuables in my bathroom? And more importantly, why would he play music, thus maximizing the risk of getting caught?
There were way too many questions running through my mind, and only one way to answer them all. Without thinking further, I stepped forward, reached for the handle of the bathroom door, and stepped inside in one swift motion. What I saw was, well, I told you about those moments before, right?
In front of me was standing not a human but an animal. One I’d never seen before. It was a little more than a third of my size, had a coat of light blue fur and a mane that consisted of a white and a blue stripe of hair. Furthermore it appeared to have a tail in the same two colors, as well as two equine-looking ears, four legs with hooves, and something that must have been a horn protruding from its forehead.
While it is impossible to describe the creature in front of me with one word, I suppose the term ‘horse’, or rather ‘pony’ was the best approach, even though the mammal shared considerably little similarities with the equine beings. If I hadn’t known better I’d have said it was taken from some kind of cartoon, at least concluding from its somewhat surreal anatomy – the slightly oversized eyes, the head that seemed to make up about a third of its body, and of course, the horn that made it look like one of those mythical creatures called unicorns.
However, as if all that hadn’t been enough, the equine being appeared to have something in its muzzle – something I could quickly identify as my toothbrush. It made circling movements in the creature's mouth while being held by nothing but a light blue aura that surrounded the instrument like a cloud of fog; a bit of white froth in front of its mouth gave away the existence of toothpaste. As ridiculous as it may sound, the ‘pony’ appeared to be brushing its teeth – in the middle of the night, in my bathroom, with my toothbrush.
It didn’t notice me right away – the loud music had drowned out every kind of noise I might have caused, and the creature itself seemed to be a little too absorbed in the music to take note of me, moving its body and throwing its head back and forth to the rhythm of the song and –at least going from the movement of its lips- passionately singing along.
I blinked at the scene a couple of times, wondering when exactly my dreams had not only become that weird but also begun to feel so real. In fact, I could’ve almost sworn I was awake, despite the dream-like scene that presented itself to me.
However, before my dazed mind could make any further assumptions, my right hand reached for what I had identified as the source of the nerve-wracking racket –a stereo on a shelf opposite to the sink the pony was facing- and hit the Pause-button, making the music die away in the blink of an eye.
The blue creature didn’t seem to notice the lack of playback at first since it continued to happily sing along with a surprisingly human, female voice. However, it suddenly cut itself off, freezing in its movement as it realized that there was something wrong.
Its head span around, looking at me with its blue eyes widened in shock, the dripping toothbrush still hanging in its mouth. “H-hello there.” It hastily spoke up, “Uh, sorry if I woke you up.”
I numbly blinked at the pony, not with all the will in the world able to bring out something other than incomprehensive muttering.
It took a step forward, holding up its right front leg as if it wanted to shake hands with me. “My name is Colgate.” It introduced itself with a friendly voice and a smile that looked just a little awkward.
Once again, my body acted before my mind could react as I slowly crouched down, grabbed the blue hoof with my right hand and gently shook hands –or hooves, for that matter- with the equine being. “Hello, Colgate. Pleased to meet you.” I said without thinking about what exactly I was doing.
The blue aura placed my toothbrush in the sink, and Colgate gave me an apologizing look as she said, “Sorry for using your things without asking, but I forgot to brush my teeth at home this morning, and I’ve got a surgery scheduled in an hour. Nopony would trust a dentist with bad teeth, am I right?” she explained herself with a bright smile that revealed her admittedly well-groomed choppers.
“Uh, yeah, no, probably not.” I muttered, “I-i-if you don’t mind, how did you get into my-“
“I’m sorry, but I’m running out of time … got a little carried away with the music.” Colgate cut me off with a slightly embarrassed smile on her face, wiping her mouth with a towel that hung next to the sink, “I should leave now if I don’t want to be late.” She said, then walked past me and out of the bathroom, stopping in front of the exit door of my apartment. I walked after her and stopped next to the door, having given up on every attempt whatsoever to understand what was going on.
“Again, thanks for letting me borrow your toothbrush, and sorry for bothering you this early.” Her horn lit up and seemingly out of nowhere, a piece of paper and a black pen appeared in front of her, surrounded by that very same blue aura I’d seen her use before.
She scribbled a longer number on the paper, then handed it to me and said, “Here, if you’re in need of any dental services, I’ll gladly make you a special price.” She assured me with a friendly smile, “Oh, and you have good taste in music, just saying.” She gave me a cheeky wink, then stepped through the door into the darkened staircase.
“Y-yeah … you too…” I stuttered dumbfounded.
“Well, thanks again. I hope we’ll meet again soon.” She said, shooting me another smile over her shoulder, then used her horn to softly close the door behind herself.
I could hear the sound of hooves trotting over the marble stairs, shortly followed by another door getting opened and closed, then there was silence.
I stood still for at least another five minutes, my still sleepy mind going head over heels in a hopeless attempt to understand what had just happened.
However, my look soon got caught by a wall clock hanging next to my bathroom door, and I realized that it was almost five o’clock already, meaning that I had to get up and go to work in less than an hour.
So I drew a long, slow breath, placed the piece of paper on a bookshelf in my hallway, and slowly trudged back into my bedroom.
Truly, those moments can occur anywhere, anytime - even in your very own house, and even in the form of a sentient, small, blue horse that intrudes into your bathroom, uses your toothbrush, and wakes up the whole neighborhood by blasting Rise Against songs.
I laid back down in my bed with another deep sigh and allowed my eyes to gently drift close.
We sure live in a crazy world.
Author's Note
Not really my best work, but the best I could come up with to get over a nasty case of writer's block.
Basically just a combination of several heacannons and some other random ideas I could come up with at 4am.
Feel free to leave some feedback if you liked or disliked it.
