Dear Princess Celestia,
It had been seven years since she had sent a report to Celestia but Twilight Sparkle always started her journal entries with this address—some habits just felt right.
It was Pinkie Pie and Cheese’s five year anniversary today so of course there was a giant party. I have no idea how those two manage to get all those balloons so quickly or where they keep those party cannons! Pinkie told me they planned on having the party indoors but that their daughter Cocoa always gets upset when confetti gets on their floor. “I asked her if it would be alright if we had the party outside. I told her she could help me shoot the cannons and she said that would be fun. I don’t know why she didn’t want to be inside but she’s a funny filly and she was right it’s perfect party weather!” Cocoa loves confetti and was cheerfully playing in it on the grass when she told me this so I couldn’t thing of why Cocoa would be upset before. It kept bothering me so I asked Cheese about it and he said Cocoa cleans things off the floor often and gets distressed whenever it gets dirty. He seemed worried about her. “Pinkie can hardly get her to smile when we are at home. I think it’s upsetting her too. And now with Grape Jelly crawling around and getting into things, Pinkie and I have our hooves full.” I told him I’d do anything I could do help. Those two ponies make great parents and it’s hard to picture there being a sadness in a house where Pinkie Pie lives!
Princess Twilight lowered the quill to the desk; the purple glow of magic disappeared letting it drop to the wooden surface. She wished Spike was here but he was away in Manehatten supporting Rarity in her fashion show. He would know exactly where to start investigating Cocoa’s strange behavior. School started in a week and it would be Cocoa’s first day.
Twilight walked out of her study and into the throne room. It was strange. When the castle had been first created, Twilight had pictured the six of them here together. She had thought that that was how things would always be. But life had moved forward. She could still count on her friends to help her with any problem, using their different gifts to create the magic of friendship. However, it wasn’t often the six of them all met in this room. They all had their own individual lives to live and though she felt in her heart that their friendship would last forever, it made Twilight a little sad.
“You’ve got something heavy on your mind Princess.” Came a voice from behind Twilight making her jump.
“Flash you scared me!” Twilight scolded before nuzzling her husband.
“Twi, what is it? You’ve got that look on your face.”
“I don’t have a look.”
“Of course you don’t.” Flash Sentry nudged her playfully with his orange hoof. “I just read minds. So are you going to tell me or not?”
“If you read minds I shouldn’t have to.” Twilight retorted nudging him back. But she answered him anyway, “I was just thinking that with all of us drifting our own ways, I’m not sure how much I should be involved in my friend’s lives. I mean I know they know I care about them and we’ve always helped each other but—“
“You don’t want to be intrusive.”
“Exactly and what if I get too involved and then do something wrong or just get in their way. I don’t want to mess anything up but I also don’t want to let our friendship fade away...”
“Twilight Sparkle, do you honestly think that friendship—friendship that literally saved the world multiple times is going to just fade away? I’ve seen you girls do incredible things together and I hardly think that will stop just because our circles are expanding. Do you care less about Rarity or Apple Jack because you love me?”
“Of course not—“
“And would you be hurt if they thought we needed help and support even if we didn’t?”
“No because I’d know they were just worried because we were friends.”
“Exactly.”
Twilight smiled. She loved the way Flash always made her feel calm. She knew she was a worry pony and Flash always helped her realize she already knew the answers to her own questions half the time. And if she didn’t he always seemed to know where to start finding it.
“You’ve still got that look. What is it specifically that is bothering you?”
“Well you see it’s Cocoa.”
“Pinkie and Cheese’s filly?”
“Yes you see she has been acting odd and I think it might be important. I want to help but I’m not sure it’s my place. They’re her parents and I don’t want to stick my nose where it doesn’t belong. I’m just not sure Pinkie knows what to do. She acts all smiles but she wouldn’t have brought the subject up if it wasn’t bothering her.”
“Did she or Cheese and for your help?”
“Cheese sort of did and I told him I’d look into it but I don’t want to overstep anything.”
“Well…you are the Princess.” Twilight shot him an angry glance. This was a touchy subject between the two of them.
Flash believed that Twilight had a royal duty to help everypony, especially her friends, and that other ponies would expect her to be involved in their lives. Twilight thought that was ridiculous, she wasn’t better than anypony else—especially her friends. Besides, didn’t they all have thrones too? Sure they weren’t official princesses but weren’t they equal pieces of the power of friendship that gave Twilight her title?
“You know it doesn’t work like that! I’m not better than anypony, I can’t just walk into other people’s lives!”
“I’m not saying you’re better, I’m saying you’re different. I know you think that Princess Celestia and the Tree of Harmony intended for all of you to rule together but just look around.” Flash gestured to the empty thrones. And again Twilight felt a pang of sadness. “All of you are doing wonderful things: Pinkie Pie’s raising a wonderful family that makes everyone in Ponyville smile, Rainbow Dash has been flying with the Wonderbolts for three years now, Apple Jack inherited her part of Sweet Apple Acres and raising her son there, Rarity’s fashion career has taken off with Spike’s help, and Fluttershy…” Flash faltered for a moment and neither pony could meet each other’s eyes for a moment before Flash continued.
“The point is all of them are doing great things but those things aren’t being princesses. For you it is; you’re an alicorn. Your magic protects the kingdom—yes with their help—but it’s still YOU. I think your friends will always be there to help but it’s your royal duty to help all ponies, including your friends.”
Twilight looked around her at the empty thrones and thought hard. She wanted to disagree with Flash but he was right—her friends did move on in a different way than Twilight had. She felt the weight of the crown on her head—a crown she had stopped taking off. Her friends had never seemed to mind that she was a princess and they were not. They also never doubted she was one. Maybe it was okay, maybe they could do great things without her and she could without them. She never doubted it was Applejack’s job to harvest and tend her beautiful apple trees, never doubted Pinkie Pie’s party planning for everypony, so why did she doubt herself? Using her magic and knowledge of friendship to help ponies was her job so why did she question it?
Because what if I mess up?
There it was. That old insecurity she’d always had. No matter how many lessons on friendship she learned, nor how many years she lived. It was always there: that paralyzing fear of failure. She could feel her eyes burn with tears of frustration.
She felt Flash’s mane brush tickle her ears as he leaned in, comforting her.
“Trust me. Do what you feel is right and you can’t fail.”
Twilight took a deep breath gathering her confidence. Then she turned to her husband her eyes sparkling with spirit. He gave her that sideways grin she loved so much.
“Okay so where should we start to help Cocoa.”
Flash grinned wider, “I’m guessing the library.”
“It’s like you read my mind.”