Family

by Hope Caster

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Drama, Princess Cadance, Spike, Comedy, Prince Blueblood, Princess Celestia
Length: 16024

After a talk with Princess Celestia, Spike learns something about his family from an unlikely source. That source is unfortunately Blueblood.

Spike has always had a shaky feeling when it came to who his parents were and why they seemed to abandon him to. After a small talk about his feelings, Celestia assures him that no matter how uncertain circumstances may seem, there is one fact that remains, she and many others love him. For a brief moment, Spike accepts this to be the truth of the world, until Blueblood came along.

Published 2016-08-16 03:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-06-28 20:13:44 UTC

A Talk with Celestia

Spike sat on the floor, leaning against the bed as he cautiously read through Celestia's book. He took periodic glances towards the door, sometimes even closing the book as he got ready to toss it somewhere out of sight. Earlier today, he had borrowed a few of Celestia’s more personal books. Although what he was doing invaded Princess Celestia’s privacy, he found that he was unable to stop reading. There was something he wanted to know that Celestia couldn’t tell him. How did his egg come into her possession?

When he asked Celestia a question she could answer, she would take the next hour to answer it, giving him every detail. When he asked about Star Swirl the Bearded, for an assignment Twilight gave him, he didn’t just learn what spells he created, he also learned that he was addicted to coffee. But, when it came to questions she couldn’t answer, her responses were short. When he asked her about his egg, she’d say things like ‘I don’t remember who had your egg’, ‘I’m sorry, but I can’t remember what they wanted. It might have been about some job opening I had’, or ‘I don’t know where they found you, they just had you when they came by’.

While never receiving who, a why, or a where, Celestia had always told him the date she received his egg and how happy she was when she received him. Spike hoped that if there was an entry that gushed as much as she did when talking about the noises that came from his egg, it would have every little detail listed, including a description of who had his egg.

Spike stopped and let out a small gasp when he finally came to the fabled date. He felt his heart start to race, showing no signs of slowing down anytime soon. He gripped the diary's cover, leaving just a small scratch behind in his excitement, as his eyes grew wide as if he had just seen a plump ruby just sitting in a field. This one entry could open up endless possibilities for him. Maybe it would help him find his parents, or his flock, or whatever a large dragon group or family was called. He was ready to drink every word, preparing himself for an awesome reveal that he knew would answer every question he'd ever had. Who found his egg? Answered. Where did they find it? Answered! Who was his mother? Could not be any more answered. His Father? Solved, and he would probably beat up Garble if the two ever met. Would he have wings when he grew up? He hoped yes because his parents probably have super giant wings that they use to soar through the sky. However, everything rested on him first finding a description of the pony that found his egg.

He began to read with as much enthusiasm as Twilight had, only to lose it a moment later. The entry had nothing in it save for a list of spells that were all marked off with a slash. He turned back to the entry previous entries and quickly read them again, believing that he must have passed over something or that Celestia got the date wrong, but there was nothing.
There was nothing. The weight of those words seemed to wrap around him as they slowly strangled what little excitement he had left. It was pointless. There were only notes she had taken, nothing that would lead him to his family, or even who gave him to Celestia. With nothing left to do, Spike carelessly tossed the book underneath his bed, thinking that he would return it the next day when Celestia was busy. Shutting off his lamp, he slipped into bed and fell asleep.

Spike’s slumber did not last as long as he would have liked, which was the entire day. If it wasn’t enough that the powerful rays of light assaulted him, Celestia herself entered his room and gently coaxed him out of his dreamland. Although he never liked waking up, he did like the delicate touch Celestia used. Overall, it was more pleasant than what Twilight would do; rip-off his covers and throw him on her back. With Celestia, she would gently rock him as she used a very soft voice to draw him out of his sleep. Today was no exception.

“Spike, it’s time to get up,” She said in almost a whisper.

He rubbed his eyes until they were fully open, moaning as he forced himself to sit up. The first sight to greet him was Celestia, giving him a warm smile. It took him a few moments, but he soon remembered why she was being so cruel as to wake him up. Since his time in Canterlot was growing to a close, Celestia wanted him to help her with her work for the day. Well, it was more along the lines of forced to help Celestia, as he did not have a choice in the matter.

“Can I have some time to get ready?” Spike lazily murmured as he leaned his head on his bedpost.

“Of course.”

While Spike slowly made his way out of his bed, Celestia left the room and waited near his door. She wanted to wait. Today felt very lazy and any excuse to put off work was a good one. She waited patiently, humming small tunes to herself as she thought about how Spike would soon have to return to Twilight and Ponyville. She would need to make sure to have a nice evening with him today and plan something fun for the two of them to do tomorrow; maybe she would even get him a small gift.

She spent her idle time thinking about fun activities they could do the next day until she felt a growing nervousness in her the back of her head. She turned towards Spike’s door and began to wonder just where he was. By her estimate, at least thirty minutes had gone by, and although she was feeling particularly lazy, she was not about to let Spike out of his job for today. Just as Celestia was about to march into the room and coax Spike outside, the drake came out dragging his feet and nearly tripping every fourth step.

Still wishing he could return to his bed, Spike felt Celestia’s aura pick him up and place him on the alicorn’s back. As Celestia trotted through the hallways, Spike noticed something strange; they weren’t heading towards the throne room.

“Princess, where are we going?” Spike asked his voice only slightly above being an incoherent moan.

“To my study. I need some time away from the throne room; it gets too stuffy when you’re trapped in a room with fourteen guards for days on end.”

Coming to the study, which was a room in the south section of the castle, Celestia opened the door led them into a small, but still very comfortable study. All around there were books that rested on countless shelves that decorated the walls. Across from the entrance was a second door that led to a balcony that overlooked the gardens. In the center of the room, a silver platter stacked with muffins lay waiting between two pillows. Besides the larger pillow, which was obviously meant for Celestia, there were several large stacks of papers, a set of fifteen quills, one of which rested in an inkwell, and a stamp. Letting out a long-winded sigh, Spike fell face-first into Celestia’s coat and lazily rolled off her back, falling to the floor with a loud thud.

“You could have just asked for me to bend down.”

“I know. Can I have a Chocolate Chip Muffin?”

Celestia levitated a muffin, setting it down right in front of Spike as she took her seat. “Spike, I’m going to need you to copy a few things for me, can you be ready for that?”

“Do I need to copy down anything now?”

“No, I just need you to be ready when I say.”

Slowly eating the muffin, Spike let out a soft sound of approval before dragging himself across the marble floor to his small, but still very comfortable seat across from Celestia.

“So, besides the letter you sent me, did anything interesting happen the other night? I noticed you wouldn’t stop rubbing your cheek.” Celestia said as she multitasked. Three quills moved about, signing and editing papers, as she stamped a document and placed it to the side of her, specifically her left side. For Spike, that pile could be ignored.

Spike thought back to the other night. While most of the night had been normal, something did happen near the end of it. A filly that he knew from Ponyville had quickly kissed him on the cheek. He didn’t know exactly why it caused him to rub his cheek, all he knew was that it did. However, that was something he was not about to share as it would only end in him being teased. “No, nothing that hasn’t happened to me before.”

While not strictly a lie, Celestia could tell that the comment meant to be misleading. “In what way?” She asked, a grin spreading across her muzzle. “Did you dance with a certain filly? Did you save yet another empire from falling to the forces of darkness? You didn’t lose control of your greed did you?”

Spike shrugged as he took another muffin. “I danced with my friends and then I got some ice cream.”

“Ice-cream? Well, that sounds like a fairly standard night then.” Celestia desperately wanted to know what happened to him that would make him rub his cheek. She could already guess why, but she wanted Spike to say it. However, after listening to a small voice in the back of her head that was telling her to let it go, she decided to give him the privacy he so desired.

Celestia seemed to alternate between stamping and signing documents, before placing them to her left. However, after skimming a document written by her nephew, she shuddered and picked up a muffin. Taking a very generous bite, she swallowed bitterly as each sentence took more and more energy out of her. Turning to the young drake, who she prayed was only resting his eyes, she asked, “Spike, can you search for one of my reference books? I need one that’s marked ‘Outlands’.”

Stammering as he rushed to stand up, Spike asked. “I’m up! I’m up!” He breathed heavily as he looked around the room. “Sorry, what did you need?”

“A book, it has Outlands written on the spine, with a symbol of a white tiger at the bottom.”

Rushing to get a ladder, Spike began to look for the book. He went row by row until he found what Celestia had asked for. It was an aged hardcover, with still intact golden letters on the spine, considerably larger than most of her other books. Spike quickly slid down the ladder and placed the book next to Celestia before returning to his seat and taking another muffin.

Celestia began to quickly skim over the first few sections of the book, letting out uncertain murmurs before finally putting it to the side, and writing something on a blank piece of paper. “Spike, after I finish this I’ll have something else for you to do,” She said, more focused on her work than she was in him. Before Spike could even formulate a response, Celestia said. "I promise, it will be very soon."

Very soon never came. A good two or three hours passed and Celestia was still writing, taking the time to reference her Outlands book every ten minutes, before murmuring to herself and tossing out the paper she had been writing on. She had already trashed thirty-seven drafts and had chewed three of her quills into nothing. However, she assured Spike that his time to transcribe a few notes for her was coming.

So, Spike waited. As boredom began to overtake him, he began to pace around the room, climb up and down the bookcase’s ladders and even counted to numbers that didn’t exist. He managed to reach brumaty-two before getting bored and moving on to something else.

He soon found himself outside the room, sitting on the edge of the balcony, watching the animals in the gardens below through the safety bars. As he did, he felt a small twinge of sadness. The animals in the garden all seemed happy, almost annoyingly so. Baby birds chirped for a short time before their parents tended to them. A young newborn skunk nursed with its tired, but loving mother as its father stood guard for non-existent threats. Even a newly hatched platypus, what he assumed to be Discord’s prank on Mother Nature, found love with its parents, even though it looked like a half-developed fetus at best.

As sad and depressing as it was, Spike knew why he was growing irritated, but he hated admitting it. It only made him feel that much worse about himself and the situation. He was jealous. Ever since he could remember, there was always an emptiness in him. Most days the emptiness was ignorable, something that he barely lingered on for more than a moment before moving on to his daily chores. On other days, Spike would linger on the emptiness for hours before forcing himself to move on to something of value. However, on a few rare occasions such as today, Spike could do nothing but think about it.

Normally, Spike would leave the room causing him this problem, but that wasn’t possible thanks to Celestia. This was all her fault. If she had just mentioned something, anything about his egg in the diary he had borrowed, he would have something to think about, something that he could talk to Celestia about, something he could plan with Twilight when he returned home. Instead, he had nothing. Feeling overwhelmed, Spike fell on his back and let out a frustrated groan. Although he never really asked himself this question, today it wanted to be heard, “Why does suck so much!?”

“Spike, you covered for one of your friend’s wrong doings, and so you’re being punished for it. Take my word for it; getting Discord to assist with anything does not come without its costs. I expect you to live with the decisions you’ve made and consequences you’ve earned,” Celestia stated as she crumpled another piece of paper and tossed towards a wastebasket that was overflowing with crumpled letters.

Spike smacked his forehead when he realized he’d spoken aloud. He could just apologize, leave it at that, but maybe it was better to talk. If there was one thing Celestia was, it was a good listener.

“It’s not the punishment that stinks,” Spike admitted as he reentered the room. “It’s just every time I want something, any answers on being a dragon, or natural dragon instincts, or a way to polish my scales in a way that won’t turn me into a walking mirror, I don’t get them!” Spike’s voice began to rise steadily, earning him a skeptical look from Celestia. “And when I do, it’s after I terrorize a town, mistakenly sabotage some diplomatic event, or learn a lesson I should have inherently known. I want to know more about my own kind? I join a bunch of teens wanting to kill a baby phoenix. I want to hoard everything I come across because it feels right? It turns out that’s bad and it will make me turn into a monster! And this just keeps on happening! I try to find out who gave you my egg, there’s nothing about who found me or where!”

Celestia’s breath became funny for a moment as her quill hung in the air. “Your egg?” Celestia drifted off into thought before continuing. “Spike, I’m so sorry, but they didn’t mention where they found you, if you were alone, or anything. The day they came to me, they just wanted a job opening I had and they offered you for it. I don’t remember much, but I do remember putting my ear up to the egg, hearing you move, and hearing the little rhythm of your little heartbeat. After that, everything went dark. The next thing I knew, the job was theirs and I was hugging you close to my chest in my bedroom. I spent every night for the next month trying to hatch you, going through every spell I knew, but nothing worked.”

Spike sighed. “Yeah, the spell list you wrote was pretty long.”

“Spell list? Where would I have written a spell list down? The only place I’ve written egg hatching spells was….” There was a loud clatter as the quill that she had suspended in the air fell to the ground. Spike felt a sharp pang of regret as he felt the gears in Celestia’s head turn. “You read my journals?” Celestia asked, inadvertently correcting Spike.

“Oh, I did not know you called them journals. I thought they were diaries. You know, it’s funny how gender can affect how a young, impressionable dragon views certain things like books.” Spike stated, praying that the look she was giving him was one of intense disappointment, and hopefully not a blinding rage.

“Don’t try to change the subject, Spike.”

Spike let out a sigh and decided to come clean, praying he’d only be grounded for a short time. “Yes, I borrowed some of your journals…. I didn’t get far on the last one, I promise!”

“And by last one, I assume you mean the blue one?”

Spike nodded.

“And how far did you get?” Celestia asked, levitating Spike up by his tail and placing him in front of her.

Spike had his head downcast, trying to avoid her glare. “I got to the part where you got my egg and tried to hatch me.”

Celestia’s eyes narrowed before closing.

Spike held his breath, waiting for Celestia to make a move. Would he receive lecture? Maybe. A harsher punishment than helping her work? He prayed to whatever higher power he could that she wouldn’t resort to such means of torture. Spike grew calmer when he heard Celestia let out a disappointed, if not exhausted sigh.

“What am I going to do with you?” She asked herself as she removed her shoes. She began to massage her temples. “Why were you reading those books?”

Seeing her look so hurt by just reading a few books did something to Spike. He’d never seen Celestia look so betrayed. Her eyes just wanted to know why. Avoiding eye contact, Spike mumbled something, earning him a raised brow from the princess.

“Spike.” she said sternly.

“I just got a little curious. It turns out Scootaloo has a family, and that got me to think of mine,” he answered, thinking back on that short-lived conversation he had with Scootaloo in the castle gardens. “I mean, look at me! I’m almost eleven and the closest pony I have to a parent is Twilight, and it took Zecora to tell us about that one little fact that if I get too many things, I go on a greed fueled rampage! I thought that maybe your diaries… journals… whatever you call them, might tell me something, or at least give me one measly clue, but I got nothing! I get it, you were more focused on me, and I’m about that. But still, was it too much just to get their name or remember what the job you gave them!?” Spike cried. Realizing that he was speaking to the ruler of the nation, he calmed himself down before continuing. “I know I shouldn’t be looking around in your journals. I’m just… I feel lost.”

Celestia began to tremble just a little bit, though Spike didn’t notice it in the slightest. “Spike, how long have you been feeling like this?”

“I’ve always felt like this,” Spike answered, huddling into a ball.

“Spike? About this filly, Scootaloo-”

“Don’t get me wrong I’m happy she has a family that loves her,” Spike interjected. “I just thought that maybe if I ever needed to talk to somepony about everything, I had her. I know that’s a little selfish, and I know that some foals have it worse off than I do. I live with a Princess and know the most powerful pony in Equestria. I know I have no right to complain, but it sucks! It sucks that I don’t have a family! It sucks that I can’t talk about a stallion like Shining Armor does about Night Light, or Apple Bloom talks about Big Mac. It sucks that I can’t plan something stupid for my parents when it’s Father’s Day, or Mother’s Day, or their anniversary like Sweetie Belle does or Twilight and Shining Armor did! It sucks that when it comes to a family tree, the most I get is Twilight! I just… I just want to know who my family is.”

“Spike,” Celestia cooed, using her wing to bring him closer to her side.

Spike sniffled before pushing himself away from Celestia and wiping his eyes. “I know I have a family,” he hiccupped, struggling to control himself. “I know that Twilight loves me and that I have her, her family, Cadance, and everypony in Ponyville. I know that they’re my family. I know that they’ll always be there for me. It’s just hard.”

“Is that everpony that’s there for you?” Celestia asked crossing her forelegs.

Spike had to think for a moment. Was that everpony that he was close with? It took a short time, but soon Spike remembered a name. He clenched his fists and cursed at himself for forgetting it. “You,” he murmured as Celestia brought a tissue over and wiped a few of his tears away. “You’re always there for me…. I’m sorry.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for. Just promise me you’ll never forget that last part, ok?” she asked, wrapping Spike in a hug. “Is there anything else you want to talk about?”

Reluctantly, Spike asked a question that has always been on his mind. It was a small question, but it possibly put the most burden on Spike. “Do you think they-” Spike paused before asking a more direct question. “Was there something wrong with me?”

Celestia shook her head, shocked that the question was even on his mind. “Spike, no. No, of course not. Why would you ever think that?”

“Why did they abandon me then?” Spike asked.

Celestia sat silently as the question hit her at full force. She had to think about it for a few moments before finally answering, “I don’t know if they did, Spike. I like to think that they didn’t, at least, they didn’t mean to. Maybe they thought that they could leave you in their cave, a place where you should have been safe, but then somepony found you, thought you were alone, and just took you. Maybe they thought they were doing the right thing, maybe they thought you were worth something, or maybe they just didn’t know what they had. When your parents finally came back, wanting nothing more than to see you, you were gone.”

Spike began to shake. He didn’t know if it was anger or sadness, but he felt like yelling, crying, ripping a book to shreds, anything that would allow him to release his emotions. However, through sheer force of will alone, he managed to control himself and ask, “Then where are they? If somepony kidnapped me, shouldn’t my parents be searching? Couldn’t they have just picked my egg up and taken it with them? ”

“I don’t know if you were kidnapped or not. And maybe they could have brought you with them.” She paused for a moment, thinking back to the countless mistakes she made. With a shaky voice, Celestia corrected herself. “Spike, they should have kept you with them. Losing you was probably the biggest mistake they ever made. Just look at you, you’re almost eleven and you’ve done so much. You’ve grown so much. They missed so much. Honestly Spike, they probably still berate themselves for losing you.”

“How do you know? How do you know they didn’t just leave me in some dark cave?”

“Because I know you, and I know that any parent, whether they be a Dragon, Pony, Griffon, or even a Changeling, would love you more than anything.”

“How do you know?” Spike asked.

Smiling, letting out a small chuckle at the thought of having to answer such a silly question, Celestia answered, “Because I love you.”

How did he not know that? Today had to be an off day for him. Aside from Twilight, there was always one mare that always made sure that he was safe, fed, and cared for even when she wasn’t around. It was the same mare that if he needed any help, especially if it regarded Twilight, she would drop everything and go to him. Spike slowly walked to the front of Celestia and pressed his head against her chest.

Celestia wrapped her forelegs around Spike and pulled him close. “Spike, don’t ever think that there is something wrong with you.”

“I won’t.” With what little room he had, Spike quickly enacted the steps of a Pinkie Promise, forever solidifying the vow.

They two stood there for a short while before Celestia finally asked. “Feeling any better?” She felt Spike nod his head.

“I’m sorry for getting us so far off track,” Spike apologized as he gave Celestia a small hug before going back to his seat.

“Don’t be.” There was a short silence as Celestia looked at Spike with a growing smile. Maybe he could use a break, maybe even a walk around the castle. However, as well intentioned as his snooping was, she was not about to let Spike off the hook. “Spike, might I suggest something?”

Spike nodded.

“If I was a certain dragon right now, I would sneak away just for a few moments and put back any books that aren’t mine back where I found them. And maybe, if somepony knew about what I did, I would be very grateful if I were only to be grounded from any comic books for two weeks.”

Spike felt a chill run up his back. He’d forgotten about how he reached this point. It all started when he let it slip that he read Celestia’s journals. And two weeks? Two weeks of punishment was too much to bear. He had to think of something, fast. Then it hit him. Celestia had no idea where the journals were. All he needed to do was lie for now and put them back later while she was having one of her giant slices of cake with her dinner. “What if you were the dragon, and already put them back? If you did, then maybe you shouldn’t be grounded,” Spike suggested, giving Celestia an innocent smile that could only belong to a child with a pure heart.

Celestia cocked her head and pretended to think for a few moments. “Well, if I was a dragon, and I was honest enough to do so, you’d be right, I shouldn’t be grounded. I would then think that it would be okay for the pony he stole from to check and see if the books are in their proper place. If they were at least in the room they should be in, then I would not expect a punishment. However,” she began, her voice turning slightly more ominous, if not playfully so, “if it turns out that I told a little white lie, then I think it would only be fair that two weeks turns into two months and comic books into spending time with a mare named… Rarity.”

Spike’s ears folded while his pupils shrunk and mouth fell just a tiny bit open. “On second thought, if you were that dragon, you should probably check your room, because I-you might have left one there by accident.”

“If that’s the case, then I would hurry, because who knows when that mare will decide to check her room. And if even one of those books were missing,” Celestia leaned in so that their cheeks were almost touching, “no Rarity for two months.”

Spike jumped to his feet and ran out of the study back towards his bedroom. Celestia was very impressed with his speed and enthusiasm. Who knew Rarity had that type of effect on him?

Author's Note

Finally finished this sucker. a little over a year to write around 5000 words. Unbelievable. Hope everyone enjoys.

Blueblood

Today was not a good day. Of course, this was nothing new. Blueblood never really had good days; his days were only less terrible. On some days, he might venture to say that his days were adequate, but not today. Today he was exceptionally peeved, as today was an exceptionally bad day. He recalled going into his personal workroom to get some audits done for a local non-profit. In the room, there was a couch, a couple of his favorite books, and a fireplace. When he arrived to the room this morning, there were signs that undesirables had entered. Strands of purple and pink hair were all over the couch, along with several violate scales that no doubt his aunt’s visiting pet had shed, and crumbs from what he assumed were from cake.

He had had talks with Celestia about how the Dragon was to stay out of his rooms, but she ignored him. Common practice when he talked about the little lizard. He decided to try something new. He would go to the Dragon himself and gently tell him, via loud, angry yelling, why he was to stay out of specific rooms in the castle. He once tried posting guards outside his rooms, but none of them dared to stand in the Dragon’s way thanks to his aunt’s threats. In his opinion though, how long was ten years in the dungeon?

Blueblood entered the bedroom that his aunt had on continuous reserve for the Dragon, in case he ever wanted to visit and escape the hick town that Princess Twilight Sparkle currently resided in. The dragon was nowhere to be seen. At least Blueblood knew that he was in the Dragon’s room. The bed was unmade and littered with scales, and the bookshelves housed his garbage comic books. The Dragon was going to rot his brain reading those.

“Disgusting,” Blueblood muttered. Being in the room seemed to only sour his mood further. Before he could turn to leave, something caught his eye. Under the bed was a small twinkle. Trotting toward the bed, he got down on the floor so that his horn just barely entered the darkness. Igniting his horn, Blueblood cast a small ray of light under the bed. There he found a blue book, which he bitterly dragged out from its hiding place. Seeing the decorative cover, he became confused. He personally had read dozens of books with a similar color, albeit the scratches were new.

The book was one of Celestia’s many personal journals, a newer one by the looks of it. He had half a mind to go to Celestia and show her what the Dragon was currently hording. Maybe she’d actually punish the lizard for once instead of just giving him some excuse like she always did. However, some part of Blueblood couldn’t help but wonder what this journal had written in it that caught the Dragon’s interest. Was there a reason he had taken it? Curiosity perhaps, Blueblood did the same when he was younger, and if he was being honest, he was starting to feel that same curiosity now. Maybe he would just take one quick look inside. Yes, just a peek. One small peek wouldn’t change his life, nor how he viewed or treated anyone.

Celestia was comfortable. Her seat was soft, she had her gofer fetch her a slice of cake, because all that was left on the muffin platter was bran muffins, and she would sooner have the food outlawed than eat such a disgusting snack. Best of all, a majority of her work had just been disintegrated by a random blast of sunlight magic. It was probably one of Discord’s pranks, as she would never disintegrate documents. However, something was missing.

She looked towards the empty smaller seat that sat beside her. Spike was off returning her journals, Luna was in her room sleeping, despite it being eleven in the morning, and Blueblood would rather die than make small talk with her nowadays. Blueblood. Some small part of her missed the little prince that ran about the halls causing trouble for servants, reading his adventure books, and playing with various action figures he’d collected, all of which had long since been abandoned.

What happened to him? The answer was obvious, he got older. It was a fact of life that he would change, move on, maybe start a family. But still, part of her hoped that Blueblood would come in and talk to her, no matter the subject.

Her ear twitched when she heard the doorknob jiggle. There was a rising warm feeling in her chest. Maybe today, fate was smiling down on her and she would get an excited Blueblood who was willing to talk to her for hours on end about whatever little thing he was interested in that day, like he used to when he was young.

The door swung open and Blueblood took several steps into the room. He wore a plain expression, but the look in his eyes suggested that he had something on his mind. Blueblood closed the door, and locked it. Strange to be sure, but there certainly weren’t any red flags yet. That was when his horn ignited. Instantly, every wall was coated in a barrier that blocked sound from entering or leaving the room. Very calmly, Blueblood cleared his throat. “Aunt Celestia, I think I need to talk to you about the Dragon.”

Celestia rolled her eyes. This happened every time Spike came to visit. She never understood Blueblood’s hatred for Spike, she just knew that it was there. “Very well Blueblood, air your grievances.”

“I was hoping you’d say that, it makes this a lot easier.” Blueblood took a very deep breath. “You consider Spike your son!?” He cried, dropping a familiar blue book on the ground.

Celestia’s eyes grew wide as her heart came to a sudden stop. Every part of her was now desperate for this conversation to end before it went any farther. “How far did you get?” She found herself asking.

“Far enough to know that you consider Spike your son!”

“Blueblood, you don’t understand, I….” Celestia paused. Blueblood called Spike by his name and not the Dragon. She knew that it annoyed Spike to be called Dragon, and she knew he did it only because it annoyed Spike. She had urged Blueblood to stop, but he was unmoving. Was being the optimal word. “Did you just call him Spike?”

“Yes! It’s one of the many changes I would have made years earlier if I knew about… This!” He cried levitating the journal. “Honestly, if I had known he and I were basically cousins, you can bet I wouldn’t have tried to sell him to the circus when he was thirteen months old!”

“You tried to do what?!”Celestia shouted, her eyes glowing yellow in pure rage at the statement.

“Please, I didn’t get far. In case you don’t recall, you assigned a bodyguard to him after the Twilight Incident. The brute stopped me the moment I tried to leave the castle grounds with Spike.” The reaction was typical of Celestia. She was an emotional Princess to be sure, but she lacked the logic to let some bygones be bygones. After all, he could have tried worse.

He was originally thinking about selling Spike to a foodie he once knew in Griffon Stone. The fat old bird had wanted to taste dragon for a long time, and was offering a handsome price for a whelp or an egg. Why a whelp? Because a whelp was likely to be much more tender, and flavorful, than adults, not to mention much easier to put down, and Spike was pleasantly plump in his younger years. However, Blueblood decided against the idea once he heard Spike giggle, reach out for him, followed by something that sounded like Blueblood’s name. Something also went on in his chest. After doing some research, he discovered that either his heart skipped a beat, or he had arrhythmia.

“Look I can tell by the twitching eye that you’re upset, but need I remind you that Spike is currently here in the castle and not part of the freak show?”

“You were going to sell him to the freak show?!”

“Where else would he go? I mean, I guess the petting zoo would work for the first few years. Actually, he would have made an adorable assistant, perhaps he could’ve help with stage magic….We’re getting off track. Why did you never say anything to me or to him for heaven’s sake!” Blueblood began to pace about the room mumbling to himself. “Celestia, I’ve been treating him like an animal in need of housebreaking. I should have been treating him like a boy in need of housebreaking! Damn it, he should know the fundamentals of being a Prince!”

“Like you?”

“Of course like me!” Blueblood snapped. “Who else? Shining Armor? We both know Cadance settled hard! Besides, he’s more whipped than that Changeling we have in the dungeon. ‘Like you?’ Like there’s another Prince as sophisticated as I.”

“Don’t forgot humble, Blueblood.”

“I appreciate the compliment, despite the blatant sarcasm. Honestly why didn’t you say anything?”

Celestia, in all her wisdom, needed to think for a moment. Why did she never say anything? It was a loaded question to be sure. Not to say she didn’t have any answers, in fact she had countless answers. The first of which was one of her favorites. Because he’d hate her for not being honest. What mother just hoofs him off nearly every chance she gets to a student that has trouble accepting that she got a ninety-seven instead of a ninety-eight? Another was because he’d pity her. She was such a lonely, unfulfilled mare that she had tried to fill that hole inside her using a whelp that she couldn’t even hope to hatch, who had to rely on ten year-olds to do it for her. Maybe if she were likeable, she could actually have a real family. One that she dreaded was that because he’d know she failed him. Where was she when he went on a rampage? Where was she when he stared down Sombra? Where was she when she sent so many letters she physically injured him? That last one kept her up late a few weeks after she’d done it.

As Celestia sat deep in thought, Blueblood sat annoyed as he waited for an answer he knew he would probably never receive. It was strange, his aunt could stare down the Spirit of Chaos just fine, but saying ‘Spike, I’m your mom!’ was just a step too far into the danger zone. Then again, the latter couldn’t be solved with friendship rainbows. “You know what Celestia, I’m just going to go,” Blueblood said, flipping through the book and folding the corners of several pages. Dissipating his barrier, he turned and began to march out of the room.

“Blueblood, where are you going?”

“I’m going to enact a master plan called Blueblood Solves Everything.”

“Where is it!?” Spike cried as he tore through his room, looking for the last journal. When he began his search, he found all the journals save for the blue one he’d been reading last night. He looked under the bed where it should have been, but found nothing. He looked through his sheet and blankets and found nothing. He looked through every draw that he could remove, only to find the emergency gemstones he kept in case he got hungry.

There were only two explanations for what could have happened. The first was that he’d somehow lost the journal. The second, and frankly more logical answer in his mind, was that Sombra had risen from the grave and enacted a dastardly plan to separate him from Rarity. Without Rarity, how was he supposed to harness the power of love to defeat him? Either way, when Celestia looked to see if all the journals were in her room, he’d be banned from seeing Rarity for two months. What was going to happen after that? Would she move on to someone that wouldn’t treat her as well as he could? Without that last journal, the answer would probably be yes, and with his luck, the stallion that would win her affection would be Blueblood.

Perhaps with some convincing, Celestia would go easy on him. She could take away dinner and snacks for about two years. He didn’t need food when he had Rarity. Then again, Celestia wouldn’t dream of doing that. She constantly told him that as a growing dragon, he needed to eat right and get to bed on time. Spike’s train of thought came to a halt as a voice called out to him.

“There you are; I’ve been looking everywhere for you, Spike!”

The voice’s deep and regal tone echoed in the room, sending a small chill up across Spike’s scales. Praying a prayer that he knew would go unanswered, Spike slowly began to turn towards the door to see a white unicorn with a flowing blonde mane.

“Blueblood.” Spike growled. Blueblood and Spike had never been on the best of terms. At best, they hated each other more than Discord hated saying Friendship is Magic. Blueblood saw Spike as nothing but a nuisance, and Spike saw Blueblood as that jerk who mouthed off to Rarity and used her as a meat shield.

“Did you honestly just growl at me?” Blueblood asked. “And what on Earth did you do to this room?”

Spike looked around the torn up bedroom. It wasn’t that bad. Sure, every draw was torn out of its slot, emptied, and thrown in a random direction, blankets and sheets were tossed haphazardly on the floor, and the mattress had been pushed up against a wall, but there wasn’t a fire this time.

“I lost a book.” Spike admitted. “Princess Celestia really wants me to find it.”

“She wanted you to find a book!” Blueblood scoffed. “Well, I guess that makes this mess okay then. What book could you have lost…” Blueblood paused, shaking his head as if realizing what it was that Spike was looking for. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and counted to ten. It was a stress reliever that Cadence had thought him long ago, and he could say with absolute certainty that it worked. But that was beside the point. Lighting his horn, Blueblood lifted a blue book from behind his back and calmly said, “Here, I marked a few pages I think you should read.”

Spike let out a small gasp. He jumped up and grabbed the journal from Blueblood’s aura. He was saved, and it was thanks to Blueblood. He didn’t know why Blueblood was helping him, but it didn’t matter. All Blueblood was asking him to do was read a book as thanks. Spike paused for a moment. For some reason, Blueblood wanted him to read the journal. The thing that started this entire debacle. Blueblood, who hated Spike more than anything, wanted him to read the journal. Spike’s eyes narrowed. “Why should I?” he asked, holding the book close to his chest.

Blueblood leaned in and whispered something to Spike.

Spike’s eyes grew wide. “Are you serious?” He asked, a small smile breaking across his face.

“Yes.”

“No take backs?”

“No take backs,” Blueblood confirmed.

“Why?”

“Because you really need to read that book.”

Blueblood Solves Everything was something that Celestia never heard often. There was only one thing Blueblood could solve, and that was tensions between nations. Despite being egotistical and a bit shallow, Blueblood was an excellent negotiator, and could sell venom to a snake along with a new pair of fangs. The fact still remained that this was not what Blueblood was used to. Spike was not Prince Rutherford, nor was he the Griffon King, the Queen of the Outlands, or even a local politician. It was fair to say that Blueblood was out of his depth on this, and any action he chose to take might very well end up backfiring. Part of her was worried about what Spike would find out, and where it would lead the both of them.

Celestia’s ears perked up as the door to the office opened with a small creak. She turned her head to see Spike, slowly shuffling into the room.

“Spike?” she asked, receiving no response. Instead, for some reason unknown to her, he sat next to her. “Spike?” she repeated. Remaining silent, he leaned to his left and rested his head against her side. “Spike?” She asked one last time.

“I read the journal,” He finally stated. There was no emotion in his voice. It was almost as if everything in his brain that made him Spike was off. “I didn’t read what I read last time. Blueblood marked a few pages.” He twiddled his thumbs for a few moments. “Was I bad growing up?” He asked, simply for the sake of asking.

“No!” Celestia answered forcefully. She cleared her throat before continuing, using a much more calm and dignified voice. “No, you were perfect. A little adventurous during parties, but still perfect.”

“Adventurous?”

“You got around when you were little,” Celestia said calmly. It was an understatement. When he was a baby, Spike constantly managed to escape most of his carriers, his crib, and even magic force fields that Celestia put around him to try to keep him contained for five minutes. It was when he escaped that trouble would start, normally taking herself, Cadence or Blueblood to end his rampage. His rampage normally consisted of chewing on a guard’s tail and crying when it was pulled away from him, finding nice warm places to sleep, or pulling a tablecloth off a table. Spike would normally end up covered in food when he did that. Celestia scolded him for making a mess of things, but the laughter that he elicited from her and bystanders seemed to make it moot. Not Twilight or Blueblood though. They could scold Spike something fierce, and normally reduced him to tears.

“Did I cause trouble?” Spike asked.

“Not as much as some ponies I could name.”

“Blueblood?”

“Yes, but there were others. There was a filly that needed constant supervision when she was younger, and then there was Twilight. Spike, know that I love Twilight more than anything, but never forget that she did some questionable things when she was younger.”

“Like what?”

“She had trouble leaving precious cargo where it was supposed to be, like her brother.” The last part carried some bitterness to it, though Spike could not pick up on it.

The two sat in silence for a short while, neither knowing how to proceed. There was one question in particular that Spike wanted to ask, but he was unsure of how to ask it. In fact, part of him did not want to ask it, simply because the answer could be something that he regretted hearing. However, if he had let fear stand in his way when Blueblood had told him to read the book, or when he was slowly entering the room, he would not have come this far.

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?” He finally asked.

There was just the smallest change in Celestia, she twitched, as if something had been driven into her chest. Tilting her head down, and using her magic, Celestia picked Spike and his seat up and placed them in front of her. Wrapping her wings around him, she pulled him close to her chest. She breathed heavily for a short while before finally finding the words to speak.

“I was scared,” she said softly. “I’m not the best mother, just like how I wasn’t the best sister. I just kept thinking, 'maybe it will solve itself.' That’s what I thought with Luna, and that’s what I thought with you.” Celestia trembled as she let out a soft giggle, “And then, probably because he was annoyed with me, somepony else had to solve the problem. Just like with Luna, just like with Discord, just like with Chrysalis, and just like with Sombra.” Her legs wrapped around Spike as her entire body began to tremble.

He didn’t know exactly what is was that fell on his head, but Spike felt the tiniest drop of water splash fall on him. Shifting himself around, Spike wrapped his arms around Celestia’s neck.

“I’m so sorry Spike,” she whimpered, her hair, obscuring the top part of her face. "I'm so, so sorry."

Spike buried himself into her chest. “Hey, Mom,” he said softly, “it’s okay, you don’t have to apologize. I’m sorry for seeing it sooner.”

She let out a broken laugh as two stream of tears became visible. He didn’t see a need for her to apologize. He called her mom. He was apologizing to her for doing nothing wrong. Why was someone like her blessed with the world's most kind hearted boy? “Spike,” she said, fighting back her sobs, “don’t think you need to apologize to me. You have nothing to be sorry for.” The two held each other for the longest time until a knock came at the door.

“Did we have our moment of clarity?” Blueblood asked, peeking into to the room.

Wiping her eyes and regaining some of her composer, Celestia said, “Yes, I think we did. Thank you, Blueblood.”

The Prince smiled a smile that he only smiled when he had officially solved everything he could. “That is marvelous. Come Spike, you and I have work to do.”

“Wait, what?” Spike asked as he was lifted up in Blueblood’s aura. “But I just called her mom, we just connected! You can’t take me away from this!”

Blueblood thought for a moment. “Well, Spike, there seems to be a problem with that statement, because I can, I did, and Aunt Celestia, I need you to fill this out,” Blueblood said, sliding a form with the titled XJ795. “We’ll see you at dinner!” he said, winking at her as he left the room with a protesting Spike.

“Where are we going?!” Spike shouted as he thrashed around in the aura.

“Oh, well, you see Spike, since you now know that your mother is the ruler of a nation, that makes you a prince.”

“And?!”

“Spike, do you know the first thing about being in a high class soiree?”

“Sneak away and go to the doughnut shop?”

“And that is the type of thinking we are going to fix.”

Author's Note

Special thanks to Inferno Demon Dash for helping me. If you like this story, then you should check out his work here.

Pianos and Letters

If there was one thing that Blueblood knew was true, it was that ponies all had something inherently special about them. He himself not only had amazing looks, but also a silver tongue made of gold and studded in diamonds. Sure, he was not a talented singer, nor was he excellent with magic, but he had an air about him that carried confidence. Of course, he was not sung praises outright; he had to make ponies praise him, unlike Cadance and Twilight, who ponies gawked at just for being alicorns. He’d be lying if he said it didn’t make him bitter when he looked in the mirror and noticed a distinct lack of wings, despite being of royal blood.

He was special, there was no doubt, yet for some reason, he wanted to believe that Spike had some sort of talent as well, despite it not being obvious as it was for ponies.

Blueblood paced about his room while Spike laid on his bed. He had only just recently discovered that the dragon was his cousin, but he was still working hard as if he'd known since the day he was born. The dragon was absentmindedly staring at the ceiling as his tail slowly swung back and forth. Blueblood was not trying to torture the young lad; he just wanted to know if Spike could do anything that could be considered interesting. After all, if he was present at one of the many regal events hosted at the castle, Spike would need something to talk about. At the very least to start a conversation.

“Do you know anything about painting?” Blueblood asked taking note of the large oil painting of his parents and him that hung above his bed.

“No,” Spike answered.

It was a long shot, and Blueblood knew it. After all, he’d seen Spike’s drawings, and he had no skill in art. Especially that white unicorn from the gala that he despised.

“Are you well versed in politics?”

“No.”

“Damn,” Blueblood silently whispered. Another long shot, but maybe he at least had a faux knowledge in it. Every one well off he knew didn’t really know what they were talking about, and they were turning out fine. Blueblood began to massage his temples as a pressure started to build in the front of his head. “Think, Spike. Twilight has her organizational skills, Celestia and Luna can move celestial bodies, Cadance has-” Blueblood paused and thought back to high school, remembering all the ways the boys described her various talents. “-She has a lovely singing voice.”

Singing. The mentioning of singing forced Spike’s mind to wander. How was Sweetie Belle now that she was back in Ponyville? If she were still in Canterlot, perhaps they could have spent today with each other. At the very least, he could tell her about him and Celestia. How would she react though? Surprised? Maybe. He didn’t understand why, but thinking about her brought just the smallest smile to his face. It was safe to say that the two had grown closer as friends over the past five days. Of course, there had been the occasional misadventure, as misadventures and accidents were not strange to such a pair.

One such incident was Sweetie Belle tripping and accidentally pressing her lips against Spike’s cheek. Now from the viewpoint of a random bystander, what Sweetie Belle did might have looked like she kissed him. Nevertheless, Spike was certain that she merely tripped and accidentally pressed her lips against his cheek. She did not kiss him. She did not like him like that. They were simply friends.

“Spike can you sing?” Blueblood asked, ripping Spike from his daydream.

“Wh-what? Uh, yeah, talent,” Spike stole a quick glance at the clock that hung on the wall only to see that “Blueblood, not that this isn’t interesting, but can we do literally anything else?” A thought popped into his head. “Oh, oh! Let’s go to the House of Enchanted Comics! We can actually go into the comics there! And get this, because there were mountain of lawsuits last month, if we die in the comic, or use the comic’s safe word, we’re immediately ejected from the comic’s story!”

“No,” Blueblood deadpanned. “We’re princes, Spike. Princes do not read comic books. Now focus. Can you play an instrument?”

“Do royals do anything fun?”

“We have small talk and read novels like ‘A Rose Blooms in Winter’.”

“But that’s a romance novel!” Spike whined, knowing of the title from the hours Rarity, Twilight, and even Sweetie Belle spent talking about it. “Romance novels suck! Everyone acts stupid and the bad-guys are usually just jerks that you’re practically forced to hate!”

“We’ll argue that later. For now, answer the question, do you play an instrument?”

“Yes, Twilight, Mom, and Cadance made me learn the piano.” Spike heard Blueblood let out a gasp, but ignored it. What was so important about talent? What did talent ever do to help Blueblood? All Blueblood had was a title, and a job that sometimes ended wars before they started. Other than that, he had nothing, except for extreme wealth, and respect, and magic, and authority, and mares literally lining up to meet him.

Spike shot up from the bed, smiling widely. His eyes lidded as his innocent smile turned into a dark smirk. “Hey Blueblood, mares like you, right? Do you think you could teach me a thing or two about talking to them?”

Blueblood let out a disgusted groan. “Dealing with the leeches comes later Spike. For now, let's focus on the piano.” Blueblood’s horn ignited and lifted Spike up into the air and placed him on his back.

Blueblood traversed the halls of the castle and went down several flights of steps.

“Where are we going now?” Spike asked, as Blueblood weaved through the halls.

“Ballroom 2B,” Blueblood said, opening a door to a spacious room. Near the back, across the marble tile, was a grand piano that was well polished with an open cover. Spike had become acquainted with the instrument quiet well before he moved to Ponyville, though he was always bitter about it. At the time, Piano lessons lasted for about an hour, which to Spike was as long as a million years. Pulling out the seat, Blueblood placed Spike down and scooted him closer to the instrument. “Spike, I just want you to try, hear me when I say try, to play a song for me. Just so I can gauge where you are.”

“Okay, let’s get this over with,” Spike said with a sigh. Spike shifted through the music sheets until he came to the one page he was familiar with, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Spike cracked his knuckles and began to play.

There was nothing on Earth that Blueblood could name that sounded as bad as Spike’s playing. Each stroke of the keys was halfhearted at best, and the general enthusiasm Spike emitted through his playing was nearly zero. When Spike hit a few wrong notes, the dragon’s enthusiasm dipped to about negative seven.

“Stop, just-just stop, Spike.” Blueblood let out a sigh as he shook his head. “That was terrible.”

“It’s been awhile,” Spike grumbled. “Besides, the last time I played was when there was a war about to rage between the ponies and the buffalo, and I’m pretty sure the song only made things worse!”

“Spike, pause really quick.” Blueblood tried to remember if he ever received a letter alerting the capital of a possible war. None came to mind. “Buffalo, like the ones in Appleloosa?” Spike nodded in response as Blueblood shook his head. “There was a situation arising in Appleloosa with the buffalo, and you did not contact Celestia because?”

“Because we had everything under control!”

“When you say 'we had everything under control', do you mean the friendship brigade?” Blueblood's eyes narrowed. If there was one thing he knew, it was that things tended to escalate quickly when his aunt's student tried to fix things. The nod he received from Spike caused a pit to form deep in his gut. “Yet, a war nearly broke out, and according to you, your piano playing only made things worse. Pray tell, how did you stop the war from breaking out?"

“We didn’t. Pinkie Pie sung a few lines from her ‘You Gotta Share’ song and then the fighting just erupted like a volcano. Luckily, the head buffalo tasted this one mare’s pie and everything turned out okay!”

“There is so much wrong with what you are telling me.” Blueblood said as he shook his head. He and Celestia were going to have a very long conversation about the correlation between her student and her friends, and the tendency to have things hit the fan later that day. For now, he would focus on Spike and the piano, not because he wanted Spike to know how to play, but to mitigate his growing migraine.

If Celestia bought him lessons, Blueblood was certain that Spike knew how to play. If Spike knew how to play, then that meant he knew how to play with emotion. The problem was that Spike was utterly bored. The way the dragon looked at the ivory keys made that obvious. So all Blueblood had to do was get the little dragon in the right mind. But what would motivate Spike to play? The only thing he seemed passionate about was that filly and her sister.

Blueblood’s eyes went wide as he recalled that fit of bravado the dragon had not too long ago. If there was one thing that fueled his little cousin, it was girls. Not just any type of girl, cute girls. Even he had to admit that if that one unicorn he met at the gala didn’t seem like a complete and utter gold digger, he might have fallen for her based on her looks alone. And then that little filly he encountered roaming around the castle, given a few years, she would be one of the most gorgeous mares in Equestria, and Spike was getting to her early. His little cousin was shaping up to be quite the playboy.

He looked towards Spike who mindlessly tapped away at the keys. “You know Spike, maybe we should just move on.” Blueblood said with a deep sigh.

“That’s what I been saying!”

“And you were right. It’s just, I can't say that I’m not disappointed. After all, this was one way that us princes really attract mares, I just thought I could impart such knowledge onto you. I don’t know why, but they love a colt that can play the piano body.”

Spike’s ears perked up. “Mares like guys who play the piano? R-really?” Spike asked. He looked back at the instrument, this time with Rarity in mind. It was strange, the keys seemed to glisten and shine with a new glow that he’d never noticed before.

“Indeed, mares, fillies, unicorns, pegasi, earth ponies, and everything else in the world.” Blueblood said with a courteous nod. “I don’t understand it myself, but mares swoon at the mere sound of a played piece, especially if it’s Moonlight Sonata. Why, I remember that my playing amazed my first girlfriend whenever that piece came up. Maybe it’s that dark and brooding thing that goes on, but I am not a mare so I can’t say for sure. But I see that you are unable to play, so why bother? We’ll just do something else.” Blueblood turned to leave, only to have Spike grab his leg. Blueblood smiled.

“W-wait! That was just me warming up!” Spike quickly grabbed Blueblood’s tail and attempted to pull him back towards the seat. “Watch, I promise that it’ll be good this time.” Spike shifted through the music sheets until he found a song that had a nice sounding title. He loosened his neck and cracked his knuckles, telling himself just why he was playing. Filled with the fire of love, he began tapping each key with perfect precision, timing, and best of all emotion.

Blueblood had never heard a more beautiful song played.

Celestia tapped her hooves against the stone floor. She had tons of work to be doing, yet, she was unable to pick up even a single sheet of paper. She couldn’t help but wonder what Spike and Blueblood doing.

Was it good that Blueblood was spending time with Spike? Of course it was. It was something she had only dreamed of happening. At the same time, the thought didn’t bode well with her. After all, Blueblood was spending time with Spike. Celestia felt a small pang of guilt in her heart, but she could not deny that her family and loved ones were prone to making less than responsible choices when it came to pursuing a goal. It was not too long ago that Twilight herself brainwashed the whole town in order to learn something about friendship. For all she knew, Blueblood was teaching Spike that the young dragon was better than everyone else was, simply for being a prince.

Then again, her nephew had an impeccable work ethic that anyone would benefit from. If that was all Spike inherited from Blueblood, she would consider it a win. Yes, he would become a little Blueblood in work ethic alone. That was all that would happen.

Celestia let out a groan as she laid her head on the floor. If anything, Blueblood was going to try to turn Spike into a miniature clone of himself, which probably included turning the dragon into a unicorn pony. Not that Spike would mind that, it would probably aid him in his quest to woo Rarity. Rarity. There was a pony Spike made sure she knew about. Celestia wrinkled her nose at the thought of him dating a mare that was considerably older than he was. She was probably going to have a very long talk with him when he inevitably had his fragile little heart shattered.

Celestia shifted her head towards her paperwork and let out a huff. She had so much to do, and such little desire to do any of it. She still had to fill out form XJ795, finish her regular workload, and then, if she couldn’t get some royal official to go in her place, visit a school fundraiser. Maybe she could put off work for five minutes and visit Spike and Blueblood. Maybe if things weren’t going as well as they could have been, she could push the two in the right direction.

The white alicorn let out a silent sob as she counted every way that wouldn’t work. She couldn’t just pop in and start interfering with their lessons, she owed Blueblood a favor. She owed Blueblood a favor. The thought made her stomach upset. It was a position that Celestia never liked being in.

While Blueblood rarely held any power over her, he’d be milking his earlier accomplishment for the next week in order to keep her at bay. That was when a devious little thought popped into her head.

Blueblood only had power over her. She could call on three other Princesses for help. Technically two since Twilight was avoiding Blueblood until he gave up on trying to turn her into “a true princess” and “Unlocking the secret of turning into an Alicorn”. In all actuality, only one was available as Luna was sleeping soundly as she fought nightmares and dream demons. That left only one Princess: Cadance.

It was the mid-afternoon in the Crystal Empire, yet, not a single guard or employee had seen either of their rulers, Prince Shining Armor and Princess Cadance. Many thought that they were hard at work planning for the first annual Festival of Freedom. The festival was to celebrate the day that the former ruler of the kingdom, King Sombra, not only blew up like a sack of fireworks, but to also celebrate the hero that saved them all. His name was Honorable Spike the Brave and Glorious, and his six sidekicks that kinda just sat around and played games.

Others believed that they were planning a secret meeting with the Yaks, so they may teach proud race pronouns such as we, I, us and anything that could substitute the word Yak in a sentence.

In truth, none of these things was happening. When their princess returned from a secret trip the other night, there was only one thing she requested. It required her husband, their bedchamber, and a locked door.

Cadance let out a soft moan as her husband’s hooves pushed deep into her back, pinpointing every tight muscle without fail. She still didn’t understand why her husband didn’t have a masseuse cutie mark, nor why it was only after they were engaged that she learned of his hidden skill. At the moment, such questions didn’t matter. All that mattered was the fact that Cadance had him, and more importantly his hooves, all to herself.

“Babe, you’re carrying a lot of tension. What happened?” Shining Armor asked, moving his hooves down his wife’s back.

“Discord, Discord happened,” Cadance nearly wept at the thought of the spirit. “Turns out he has a demon spawn of a filly. Then Twilight made everything worse while trying to make things better, and then I had to listen to Rarity's argument for why I should make her sister and Spike fall for each other. It was all just awful.” She let out a deep-seated moan as Shining moved down her back, pushing in-between her wings. “I swear, an alicorn gives you Princess of Love as a title and everyone thinks you’re Cupid.”

“Oh, Cadance, let’s not talk about that I can already feel your knots tightening.” Shining Armor quickly moved back up her back, redoing the spots he’d already loosened. “But while we’re on the subject, does anyone ask that you put their wife in the mood?” Shining whispered, drawing small circles in-between her wings.

“Shining, if you give me an hour of this, we can do whatever you want tonight.” Cadance murmured. “And yes, even that is on the table.”

Shining Armor leaned forward a bit as his mind struggled to process what his wife had just said to him.

“D-does that also include the-”

“Yes, it includes the outfit.”

Shining struggled to find any words to use. Anything that came out of his mouth was an inaudible squeak, before he finally said, “I’m gonna get more oil.” He dashed out of the room, leaving behind a trail of dust in his wake, as he called after a passing servant.

“Hurry back!” His wife called, whimpering and she rotated her still stiff wings. Cadance still wondered why her aunt had released Discord from his prison. After all, not much had changed; he was still one of the rudest creatures in the world, and he was no stranger to causing trouble. Just last week he tried to declare the Everfree Forest as the sovereign nation of Disco-Topia, where chaos and dated music reigned supreme. It took several tubs of pudding, a promise that Fluttershy would not put him in his time-out corner, and the promise that April Fools would be renamed Discord Day, but they were able to get him to give up his fruitless endeavor. Part of her felt that the real reason any of that took place was so Discord could change the name of April Fools Day.

She let out a whine as her back tightened once again. She needed to stop thinking about Discord; the mere thought of him wound her up like a toy soldier. Her husband’s hooves though, sweet mercy, they were a godsend. As soon as Shining Armor got back with the oil, she would be able to relax, and later tonight, she would give her husband a nice treat. As Cadance thought of the coming bliss her husband would provide, her horn began to feel warm. Any previous knots that her husband had undone were instantly wound back up. There was only one reason that her horn would be warming up, and that was if Celestia was sending her a letter, not just any letter, an emergency Blueblood letter.

“No,” she whispered to herself. Her horn began to vibrate just the smallest bit, as a small tingle began to rise in the horn’s base.

“No, I need this massage!” She tried desperately to suppress the letter, or perhaps even send it to Spike. It was futile though, only the sender could cancel out the delivery, or change it, and if Blueblood was involved, there was no way that Celestia was giving her any choice in the matter. A mist seeped forth from her horn, taking form of a letter bearing the royal seal of Canterlot before it fell to the floor.

Shining Armor trotted, with a bottle of oil balancing on his back. He had received various responses. A few ‘My stallion!’ from some guards, a “You dawg!” from others, and several high-hoofs from various guards. There was a noticeable skip in his step, as he approached his room, which had two guards on standby. They did their best not to give their prince a congratulatory smirk and nod. They failed miserably.

Just as Shining was about to grasp the doorknob, a sharp scream tore through the air, shattering all nearby vases and windows, and even managing to crack the very walls of the castle. The three stallions stood shocked for but a moment, before Shining armor issued a single order. “On my mark.”

Throwing the door open, Shining rolled forward as the two guards rolled to the side to surround whatever may be waiting in the room. “Cadance what’s wrong!? Is everything okay? Are you hurt?” His wife stood huffing as she stood over a torn letter on the floor.

Her head seemed to twist completely backwards as a fiery gaze landed on the three of them. She opened her mouth to yell at them, only to have the command come out as a roar.

“Cadance?” Shining asked. His voice was weak, his words coming out as mere whimpers as his wife turned herself towards them and slowly marched forward, each step shaking the room and their very souls.

“Sir, I’ve seen this before,” The first guard said, taking a step back. “It was two years ago when my brother ruined my wedding.”

“What is it though?” Shining asked, trying to think of something that could have turned his wife into the feral beast she now was.

“Sir, your wife is pissed, and you are her husband. It won't matter who she’s pissed at, it’s going to be taken out on you. We might be paid to lay our lives on the line if anything threatens the Royal Family or this kingdom, but that right there,” he said, pointing to the savage beast that slowly came towards them, “that is above our pay grade.”

“Princess,” the second guard said, raising a hoof, “it looks like you’re super busy. Should we wait outside while you and the prince hash things out? I feel like I’m reading the room right when I say that me and Steel Soldier should leave the room.”

There was an approving growl as both guards bowed to Cadance, slowly backing away from the area.

“Thank you, my liege,” The second guard said. “Prince Shining Armor, I wish you luck. Also, if you die, dibs on your sister.”

“Excuse me!?” Shining shouted, facing the private.

“Hey,” The blue haired pegasus raised a hoof to silence the prince, something that would have gotten him killed had Sombra still been alive, “don’t hate the player, hate the game. Speaking of games, you’re up against a super boss.”

Shining turned back to his wife and nearly let out a whimper. For now, he would focus on the love of his life. Afterwards, he would find that pegasus, and give him a very long talking to later that night. The talking to would involve the torture chamber, a pair of pliers, a rusty scalpel, a towel, several buckets of water, a rack, and a poorly written IDW Comic arc with art by one Hay Fosgitt. Shockingly, the last one was the most controversial to use.

Shining took a deep breath as he tried to work up the courage to face his wife head on. He was going to need a crystal wine glass, a bottle of wine, and a bottle of 208 Proof Chaos Falls Vodka when the wine proved too weak to calm his wife’s nerves. He still wondered where his friends found such a concoction, but considering the alcohol content was not physically possible, something in his gut told him it had everything to do with Discord.

“Honey, baby-doll, is everything okay?” He finally asked in a soft, assuring voice.

Cadance let out several roars and snarls before finally growling out in an understable voice. “There’s a problem in Canterlot. His name is Blueblood and twenty-eight years ago he was born. Then, about ten years ago, Spike was hatched. Finally, maybe an hour ago, he abducted Spike. In about an hour, I am going to snap Blue’s neck, get arrested, and incur the death penalty. I have a feeling that when the noose or axe destroy my neck, my only thought is going to be ‘Totally worth it’.”

Beads of sweat began to form on the prince’s forehead. Things were taking a very dark turn, and that was never good. “I’m guessing you are feeling very tense right now. I still have my magic hooves, I can make you feel so much better.”

Cadance took several moments to think over the offer. “No, no I need to go.”

“Do I need to set up a train to take you to Canterlot?”

“No, I’ll just teleport.”

“Teleport? But that takes so much out of you, and you’re so stressed. Won’t it be easier just to stay here and rest and then head out tomorrow?”

“Shining I would love to, but Blueblood is probably torturing Spike, and no one talks him down better than I do.”

“Celestia does! Can’t she take care of it?” Shining asked, putting a hoof on his wife’s shoulder.

“If Celestia could take care of it, she wouldn’t have sent the letter.” Cadance let out a sigh as she massaged her temple with her wings. “He probably has leverage on her. Ugh, someone should have put that brat in his place years ago. But no! Just because he’s our top diplomat, and the ‘good foal’, he’s basically untouchable!”

“The ‘Good Foal’?” Shining raised a brow as he tried to picture the most egotistical, narcissistic, selfish, and mean senior in his high school as the good foal.

“It was total crap!” Cadance’s voice raised in pitch as her expression twisted to that of a spoiled teenager. “Just because he averted like two or three wars, and always got straight A’s, and never drank unless Celestia gave him permission, our aunt treated him like he was a prince!”

Shining mulled over the statement for a short time. There was something about the complaint that didn’t sit right with him. “Babe, when you mention the first part, I’d be more shocked if he didn’t get special treatment. Also, he is a prince.”

Shining Armor suddenly felt a chill crawl up his spine as his wife’s eyes narrowed.

“Shining,” she hissed, “I don’t think that is on the table for the foreseeable future.”

“No! Come on, can’t you take away the outfit instead?”

“I can, but you won’t get that back.” Cadance took a deep breath and counted to ten to try and relieve some stress. If she got too angry, she would take her spitefulness out on Shining, who hardly deserved anything. “Look, I need to handle this. I’ll be back in two days, and when I do, get ready to rub me down. And if all goes well, then maybe we might have some fun. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

Cadance’s horn ignited and she vanished in a flash of light, leaving her husband alone in their room with the bitter knowledge that Celestia had ruined their night. Lighting his horn, Shining Armor dragged the Pegasus guard from before back into the room.

“Dibs on my sister?” Shining Armor glared daggers at the Pegasus as he dragged the guard towards him.

“Is it too late to say Happy Discord Day?”

“It’s June.”

“I’m not hearing a no.”

Perspective

It had only been a few hours since she started her work, but to Celestia, it had felt as if months had passed. She could only imagine what Luna’s job was like, how easy it must be. Come to think of it, she hadn’t seen her sister for the better part of the weekend. Perhaps she’d have to look for her before dinner tonight.

There came a sudden knock on her door, filling her with equal parts relief and apprehension. “Princess, I need to talk to you about something,” a familiar voice said. The voice belonged to a stallion named Earth Trotter, a private contractor she’d hired some months ago.

“Come in,” She said, holding her breath. There was a soft creek as Celestia lifted her head from the pile of papers as she struggled to keep her eyes opened. “What do you need Earth- Sweet Faust, Spike!” The alicorn wasted no time in rushing over to the dragon who was covered in scratches and a light amount of blood. “What on Earth happened?”

“Isn’t that a funny story,” Earth Trotter said. “You should ask Dumb and Rich, and Dumb and Hot.” Behind him was Blueblood and Cadance respectively, Cadance had a large read marks all over her body both and Blueblood himself sported a black-eye.

“What did you two do?” Celestia growled, glaring at the Prince and Princess, holding Spike close to her chest.

“Things, they did things” Spike whimpered. “I did learn something today. It turns out the squirrels in the gardens are territorial, but slightly less than the bunnies, but more than the porcupines and skunks.”

“Why were you in the gardens?” Celestia turned to her nephew. “Blueblood, what did you do?”

“Nothing! Ask the alicorn!” Her nephew said, pointing to Cadance. “She’s the witch that attacked us!”

Celestia was taken aback by the statement, as the worst thing she’d ever done when living in the castle was buy new shoes every other week when courting Shining Armor. She was forbidden from even looking at a shoe store until she found a way to keep her shoes from getting destroyed via overuse. “Cadance, is this true?” Celestia asked, giving her niece a look, she normally reserved for Blueblood.

“I was completely innocent in-” She paused and glanced at Spike. “I was almost completely innocent in all of this.”

From a nearby cabinet, Celestia took out some rubbing alcohol and a folded cloth. She poured some on the cloth before pressing it against Spike’s scratches, earning a small yelp of surprise followed by pained hisses. “Really? You’re almost completely innocent? For this?”

“Let me explain.” The alicorn cleared her throat and came forward. “You see, it all started an hour ago. In fact, it happened right after someone sent me a letter.”

“I think she’s talking about you,” Blueblood said to his aunt.

I had just teleported from my home in the Crystal Empire, where my husband was giving me the best massage I had ever had in my life. It was needed too, after dealing with Discord and his demon filly. Anyway, Being the graceful alicorn that I was, I calmed myself as I approached the castle and went to find Blueblood to sit him down and talk to him about Spike. ‘Surely, this was all just one big misunderstanding,’ I thought to myself. It took some time, but when I finally found him, he was torturing poor Spike! It looked as if he took such joy in it to. And Spike, poor Spike, looked so lifeless. I almost thought he was a changeling, but then he began to go over the suits and what material Spike should look for when he went shopping. So, I rushed in to demand an explanation, and Blueblood cackled an empty cackle.

“I’m molding Spike into what he should be!” He said with a horridly cracked voice. “An egotistical twat that so devoid of love, he mere presence would starve a changeling hive!”

I gasped, appalled at his antics as he tried to turn Spike into a loveless husk of person that views the world so very bitterly! “Blueblood, how could you do this?” I asked, not wanting to believe Blueblood could be so cruel and vicious. His response was a laugh most foul and dark, it chilled my very soul. I tried desperately to reason with him, but my words could not reach such a heartless, uncaring individual. My mere presence seemed to escalate the situation, and he attacked me! In order to defend myself, I had to resort to violence and sucker punched him. This seemed to break the spell Spike was under, who rushed to stop the violence.

Unfortunately, sensing that someone was approaching, my instincts kicked in, and I fired a beam of magic. It was only after it was too late that I realized that I hit Spike, launching him into the animal garden. I was so ashamed, that I shut down, and then I woke up, smashing my hooves against a shield conjured by Blueblood. Not long after, the guards came, called me a menace, and began to separate the two of us. Obviously, they were truly loyal to Blueblood alone, and not truth or justice. And that’s what happened.

“Is that all true?” Celestia asked, as she began to wrap bandages on Spike’s body.

“Yes.”

Celestia turned to Blueblood. “How much did she lie? I feel like she was too innocent in her story, but then again it wouldn’t be that out of character.”

“So much of that was a lie, it’s not even funny,” Blueblood deadpanned as he cast a glare on Cadance. “And I can’t help but feel personally attacked. Something she left out was the fact that she punched me for almost no reason. Also, I didn’t hit her in anyway shape or form. Those red marks on her forehead? That was all her. Isn’t that right, Spike?”

“She did kinda lie.” Spike assured his mother, trying to move away from her as she readied another cloth dabbed in rubbing alcohol. He was disheartened when he felt her grip tighten. “Though, It’s not big lies, just a few embellished details.”

“She blatantly lied about the guards. We’re neutral to Blueblood,” The guard said.

Celestia looked towards and lifted a brow causing her to sink her head downwards. “If that’s the case, what actually happen, Blueblood? Spike stop moving, I don’t want anything getting infected.”

“You see, much like that fantasy Cadance told, it started an hour ago. Well, maybe two hours ago. I was already molding Spike since earlier this afternoon.”

After I expertly solved your problem, Celestia, I took Spike to test his talents. Turns out we plays the piano really well. We should consider getting him a piano instructor. But anyway, after hearing the beautiful sound of my cousins playing, we retreated to my study, but only after I rewarded him with a small bit of ice-cream. Positive reinforcement and all. There, I began to explain to him the importance of suits for high class galas and other such functions. He seemed to be entranced, so interested, so enlightened, that he could hardly look away from me. Even the heavens themselves sung of my poise and grace as I lectured to him, obviously becoming someone he’d looked up to. I was just starting to explain to him the difference between a double-breasted suit and a single, when the door was kicked open! The winds began to grow cold, as beast approached us. Upon closer inspection, much to our collective horror, Spike and I realized that this snarling, bitter, anger monster was none other than Cadance.

“Blueblood!” She shrieked as she marched towards me with murderous intent. “What the hell did you do!?”

I quickly got in front of Spike to protect him from what Cadance might do. Lifting my head high I said, just as the sun hit my mane perfectly, giving me a halo of light, “I’m doing what Celestia could never do, and teaching Spike about, his partial birth-right! Something you were just handed randomly, while, out of shame and bigotry, it was hidden from him!”

Cadance began to contort and sputter, as she let out a beastly wail. “How dare you, how dare you!?” She screeched. Before I knew anything, I was punched. Next thing I know, Spike is desperately trying to reason with this, this uncontrolled beast of an Alicorn! But sneering at how disgusting he was by dint of being a dragon, she unleashed a strike that launched Spike through several walls and into the gardens. There I assumed he’d either snapped his neck or was swarmed by animals.

Seeing that this beast was a threat to all that apposed her, I realized that I had to take a stand against my once dear cousin. And so, I erected a barrier between me and her until someone with a better skill set could come and handle the situation.

Silence hung in the room as Blueblood finished his tale. Celestia had several questions, most of which revolved around the validity of the claim that Spike was flung through several walls. If everything he’d said wasn’t a lie, then the whole story from start to finish was likely a monstrous exaggeration. But first, she had to clear up the air around one subject. “I did not hide the fact that Spike was my son out of shame and bigotry,” she finally said.

“And pray tell, what was your reason that you hid such a fact from Spike?”

“Reasons.” Celestia looked down at the one person that could shed perhaps a bit of unbiased light on the current situation. “Spike, what actually happened?” Surely Spike would tell her a true, slightly abridged version of the previous events. Since there was no mention of Rarity, there was likely to be almost no embellishments.

Spike let out a pained groan as he turned to face his mother. “It started right after Blueblood started to lecture me about suits.”

I was sitting in Blueblood’s study looking out the window, because I was not even remotely interested in listening to his talk. Bored, I went to my happy place and began to think about Rarity. Rarity relies on me from time to time, so I couldn’t help but wonder what she needed today. Did she need me to hold her close and lovingly stroke her mane? Take her garbage out? Did she need her loyal pincushion?-

Spike was immediately silenced as Celestia forced her hooves against his lips. “Stop, stop right there,” She demanded, giving Spike a concerned look. “Ignoring the former two statements, what does the phrase ‘Did she need her loyal pincushion’ even mean?”

Spike shrugged his shoulders, unaware as to why his mother would be so upset at the fact that he was sometimes a stand in for Rarity’s pincushion. Removing the hoof from his mouth he said, “She sticks needles into my back, and I wait until she calls me. Then I go to her and she takes a pin and puts it in a dress.”

Celestia’s vision became blurred for a moment as she struggled to keep herself sitting up wards. The guard quickly came and had the princess lean on him for support.

Discord could have released every villain in Tartarus, Twilight could have been assassinated by a villain, Cadance could have gone in to labor, and Celestia would have written them all off. All she could think about was the word pincushion as her wits returned to her. “Sweet Faust, where did I send you with Twilight?”

Meanwhile, for reasons known only to him, Blueblood was grinning from ear to ear, as if a wonderous miracle was about to occur. Although his outlook on Spike had changed for the better, Blueblood was only mortal and therefore, held grudges. One particular grudge was against one Rarity Belle. Simply knowing that Spike had landed her in hot water made his injuries and demeanor all the more pleasant.

“Anyway, back to my story?”

All Celestia could do was nod, looking at the dragon with a worried look in her eyes. “Just keep it relevant to why you’re covered in scratches.”

Oh yes, Blueblood thought to himself as his grin grew even wider. Do tell us more.

As, I dwelled on the thought of Rarity, remembering her sweet scent, her soft fur, her sparkling sapphire eyes, and her sweet voice, the door was thrown open and there stood Cadance.

“Blueblood!” She shrieked as she marched passed me and towards Blueblood. “What the hell did you do!?”

“Sweet lord, Cadance!” Blueblood cried. “You look so tense! You really could use a massage.”

I don’t know why, but Cadance just hauled off and punched him after he said that. That’s when I did my best to de-escalate things. I ran to get you. I took one step and the floor creaked. The next thing I knew, Cadance blasted me through two walls and into the animal garden. The animals did not like me being in their home. After about fifteen minutes of screaming the guards saved me.

“Again, I was running on instinct when I did that,” Cadance clarified as Spike’s story came to an end.

There was only one thing Celestia could say in response. “A pincushion.” Celestia took her son by his shoulders and gave him a serious look. “Spike, tell me that a grown mare does not use you as a pincushion.”

“Of course! She even lets me take out her trash, be her fitting dummy, and a bunch of things! Gotta play the long game.”

“I don’t mean to interrupt, but I made that mare he’s driveling on about have the worst night of her life,” Blueblood said. “And as a side note, Cadance was the villain here, I was just a bystander.”

“Blueblood, not now.”

Blueblood frowned at the declaration. “Why?”

“Because I’m more focused on the pincushion aspect of this conversation.”

“Why? She needed my help,” Spike said as if were a simple matter of fact.

Celestia’s mouth went dry for a moment, as she tried to comprehend the moral negligence of using a child as a pincushion. “Spike, you and I are going to have conversation about Ponyville later today. Earth Trotter, how did this all end?”

The stallion, who had been waiting for the command to continue with his day, obeyed with a nod. “Here’s what happened. We found those two fighting,” He said, pointing to Cadance and Blueblood. “I use the term fighting loosely here. It was more like the crazy one was trapped in a shield while the spoiled one hid inside another shield. We had Blueblood lower Cadance’s shield and we subdued her. While this was happening, another group dispersed the animals attacking the boy, and here we all are ten minutes later.”

“So, Blueblood did nothing?” Celestia asked.

“He might have put a hoof in his mouth the moment that Cadance showed up, but if that happens, it’s a day that ends in Y.”

“Amazing.” Celestia began to rub her forehead as an aching pain began to spread. She took a deep breath before turning to Cadance.

“Cadance, I am sorry for disturbing you, I should have made this entire ordeal optional. Do whatever you need to do to calm down and relax. And if you slip up again, I am going to snap that horn off of your head. Also, I cannot promise you that I am not taking your first-born trick or treating for their first Nightmare Night.”

"I understand. Thank you, Celestia." Cadance could breathe easier now. She was expecting much more than a scolding for what she did, but she was not complaining.

Celestia turned to her nephew. “Blueblood, I’m very happy you were not yourself when this happened. And Spike,” she said as she stood up. “You and I are going to the medical wing.” She placed Spike on her back and left the three remaining ponies alone. Hopefully, today would be the end the insanity that had been spreading throughout the city, and Celestia could just relax. Little did she know, that her sister had other plans.