Omnomnipotent

by All of the Above

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Other, Equestria Girls, Sunset Shimmer, Twilight Sparkle, Random, Crossover, Sonata Dusk, Aria Blaze
Length: 949

Cookie Monster is the God of the Equestria Girls universe.

For no rhyme, nor reason, Cookie Monster is now the God of the Equestria Girls universe. Twilight, Sonata, Sunset Shimmer, and Aria must now face the consequences that He might bring.

Co-written by Doom Trot.

Now with a reading by Astro-Brony!

Published 2015-02-11 18:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-02-11 18:20:02 UTC

Omnomnipotent

Author's Note

Doom Trot and I sat down and wrote this in under an hour.

Omnomnipotent

They looked up to the sky. The brightness of the sun made them shield their eyes. Aria almost teared up at the sight. Sunset Shimmer nearly threw up. Twilight didn't really know what to think. Nothing really seismic or terrible was really happening, nor has anything changed. Except for, you know, the obvious. The sun was now a cookie.

Nothing besides that has really changed.

"Should... should we... do something?" Aria asked with a look of pure confusion on her face.

The great and mountainous figure in the sky was perched atop his mighty cumulonimbus throne. He stared down upon them with googly eyes, and they stared right back with not so googly eyes.

"I have... not a single clue."

Again, Twilight Sparkle didn't really know what to think. She just looked up at the sky, both in awe and in terror of the fuzzy being up in the sky.

“Cookie!” bellowed the glorious blue deity in the heavens.

The very earth shook at the deity's mighty voice of thunder.

"Me like cookies!"

"We figured!" Aria shouted.

"Would you like cookies?" the monster asked.

"I would love some!" Sonata gleefully responded.

"Well too bad!" The monster laughed! He then speedily turned away and floated away with his throne. He threw a lightning bolt at a nearby building. It became a monumental stack of cookies.

"Hey, that's not very nice! You said we could have cookies!" cried Sonata.

Cookie Monster paused, a deep, godly thought passing over his googly eyes.

"You're right. Me sorry. Cookie Monster share."

Cookie Monster raised his hand above his head. In it energy began to swirl around like a beater stirring cookies. It began to glow hot white, and with a mighty Zeusian throw, Cookie Monster cast his gift upon the school, practically obliterating the entire structure.

Aria, Sonata, Sunset Shimmer and Twilight collected themselves after the apocalypticookie meteorite. Not a single thought passed through any of their brains. But they saw, lying in the wreckage a torn and battered (lol, batter-ed) version of Applejack. Along with Adagio.

"Oh God, Applejack!" Sunset cried.

"Yes?" Cookie Monster asked.

"Oh no, Adagio, noooo," Aria cried.

As Twilight and Sunset attempted to pull Applejack from the wreckage, her torso pulled away from her waist. As Sunset and Twilight screamed in horror, they saw that her entrails were suddenly cookie dough.

They weren't sure whether to laugh or cry.

"Cookie Monster sorry."

"You better be sorry! You killed our friend!" Twilight sobbed.

"I'm still cookie y'all!"

Twilight sobbed even more.

"What's with you and your cookie obsession?!" Aria snapped.

"Cookie great!" explained Cookie Monster. "Would you like another?" He raised his hand above his head once more.

"No, stahp! This one is enough!"

"Okay."

Sonata nibbled a piece of the meteorite cookie much to the chagrin of Adagio, who was still alive and in pain.

"A little help here," Adagio requested.

"Oh... Adagio are you okay?"

"Me sorry if I hurt you."

"... Apology accepted."

"Hooray! Would you like more cookie?"

"No, we're good."

"You sure?"

"I want more!"

Cookie Monster flicked a cookie of normal size in proportion. It landed on the earth with such force that it split the earth. A tsunami of cookies erupted forth.

A stray chocolate chip shot forth from the wave. It made tasty impact with Adagio's head, killing her instantly.

Sonata didn't care, she just kept eating cookies like a madwoman.

"We have more than enough cookies, thank you!" Sunset shouted.

"No more cookie?"

"No! I don't even like cookies!" Aria shouted.

Cookie Monster froze, his plastic, googly eyes suddenly turned into hyper-realistic eyeballs. Their pupils narrowed like a long hallway as they focused intently on Aria.

Aria instantly regretted everything she had ever in her life, ever.

"You," Cookie Monster said with a quiet, almost saddened voice, "You don't like cookie...?"

Aria trembled. She quivered in her boots, almost sorry that she was about to end her life right here, right now.

"No," she said without hesitation.

Cookie Monster shook with a great godly rage. He reached a hand down, pointing a hand towards the heathen. On his command, a lightning bolt shot forth from his cloud throne like a speeding bullet, striking Aria where she stood.

When the Lightning passed, Sunset, Sonata, and Twilight beheld a giant cookie where Aria had once stood. Before they could react, the cookie God bellowed, "Cookie!" He bent down and picked up the cookie with his omnomnipotent fingers. He tossed the cookie in his mouth, eating it rather rigorously.

"Now we feast, loyal disciples!"

Centuries passed. Twilight, Sonata, and Sunset recorded the legacies of the great cookie God. Many interpretations of these records led to future wars. Some claimed that Aria was a martyr stricken down by a wrathful deity. Others claimed that Aria was a traitor to Cookie Monster, rightfully devoured by her baker. And no one really cared about Adagio.

The end.

"So Scoots, what did you think?" Pinkie said, slamming the book closed.

"What are you doing in my house?" Scootaloo said, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"I just wanted to read you a bedtime story."

"Please leave."

"Okay." Pinkie said jumping off Scoot's bed. And out the window.

Pinkie screamed as she pretended to fall to her death.

"It's a one story house," said Scootaloo.

"Oh, right. Goodnight!"

Scootaloo, annoyed and slightly amused by Pinkie's intrusion rolled to the other side of the bed.

Staring her straight in the face was Cookie Monster. She dared not say a word.

He spoke one word, and one word only.

"Cookie."