Cadance: The Love Arsenal

by IndiBrony

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Cadance, Adventure, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance
Length: 9181

Heart's and Hooves day is coming up; Cadance shows us how she goes about it.

Cadance's duties on Hearts and Hooves day are intense. Spreading love across Equestria is hard work, and Cadance lets us in on her secret weapon. Introducing: The Love Arsenal

Published 2015-02-11 17:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-02-12 17:59:48 UTC

The Love Arsenal

We find ourselves in a magical crystal palace. Light bounces gleefully from each wall, creating a whole spectrum which brightens up the hallway. The light shines brightly through the window, as Celestia raises her sun for the morning. Inside the hallway, a stunningly beautiful pink alicorn walks slowly, meeting with a small pink earth pony. Out of nowhere, she pulls out a device. It looks like a small ear-piece in the shape of the Crystal Heart, complete with a tiny glass screen connected to it. The pink earth pony disappears from view almost immediately, without notice, without sound, after handing (hoofing?) the device over to the Princess.

The Princess clips the crystal heart to the bottom of her right ear, the screen covering her right eye. She taps a button on the side, and hears the faint sound of white noise through her ear. A couple of bleeps are heard, signalling a successful connection.

"Hey, there." Cadance begins, "I am Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. I recently discovered your species through... 'unspecified' means. I had no idea there was such active interest in our culture from unknown entities like yourselves. I also know your world is troubled with war, famine and disease. Make no mistake, Equestria isn't some magical utopia where those things don't exist, but as a society, we strive to rid ourselves of these tragedies above all else, and we do a pretty good job of it."

She reaches to her head-piece once more, clicking another button. The screen flickers. Words appear and disappear, like an old computer booting up its systems. Once the system is completely booted, she is greeted with a HUD - the system is scanning for something.

"What I am communicating to you through is called the Love Scouter. It detects nearby ponies, showing me their Potency Of Will, Emotion and Romance ("POWER") level. Put simply, it detects if a pony is happy, and lets me know what their heart desires most. I don't typically need this device, but it also broadcasts, and has some quirky little optional extras which may come in handy."

Princess Cadance clicks another button, shutting the screen off. The pretty pink pony princess trots elegantly toward a door at the end of the hallway. She utilises her magical horn, popping out a small, red heart, which penetrates the door and opens it. "Today is a day of great importance to me. Hearts and Hooves day has only just begun here in Equestria, and it's up to me to deliver love and happiness to ponies everywhere. It's the longest day of the year for me, and it takes its toll."

The doors open up to a darkened room. A wave of coldness hits Cadance as the air tries to regulate its temperature. The insides of the doors are made of crystal, reflecting light from all sources and focussing it inside the room, causing it to light up as bright as day. Inside the room were a number of crystal shelves, filled with various pieces of equipment, weapons and armour. Cadance steps inside.

"Let me introduce you Bronies" she smiles "to my Love Arsenal."

The Basics

"Okay, so, listen close. In here I store everything I need to get this job done in the quickest and most efficient manner possible. We'll be visiting a lot of ponies today; earth, pegasi and unicorn, from large, crowded events, to the poor lonely souls on their own. Some may think the armour and whatnot can be a little overkill, but believe me, there have been years where I've wished I'd had it. I'll be wearing toughened shoes, a chest plate, a reinforced neck-piece, and my favourites: my horn and wing amplifiers."

Cadance pulls off a couple of glowing pink rings from one of the shelves, placing them on her horn. "With these simple rings, my magic is amplified ten-fold." She extends her wings, levitating two larger rings over her them. "The wing amplifiers help me fly faster, and prevent me from getting fatigued too easily. With my royal duties throughout the rest of the year, I don't get too much flying time, but today is extensive. Think of it like your average pony entering a marathon every year and having little to no practice - it's insanity. I've learned to take measures against injury"

She grabs her armour, placing a shoe on each hoof, lifting her chest plate and neck piece over her head and around her neck. "The armour does exactly what it says on the tin, but the chest plate and neck piece hold special abilities of their own. They hold red gems in them. You may have seen something similar before if you've ever heard of the Sirens. These gems feed off of people's negative energy. However, the Crystal Heart can convert that into love. My magic is amplified further by the Crystal Heart. However, I discovered that when performing love spells with magic from the Crystal Heart, I'm actually taking love from the crystal ponies and redistributing it. Basically, the more love spells I cast, the more unhappy the crystal ponies get as a whole. These gems stop that from happening. The pure, converted energy keeps the crystal ponies happy. It seems a little complex, but that's pretty much how it works." Cadance paused.

"There's one drawback to it all, though. Converting the bad energy comes at a cost... you'll probably see later. For now, though, we've got love to spread!" The Princess beamed, turning to the other crystal shelves.

"There's a reason I call this my Love Arsenal. Back when I first started, I used to carry a simple bow and arrow. It kinda became my symbol for a long time. Technology advances, though. They say love is a battlefield. This is how I fight my war. I have grenades, I have bazookas, I have dynamite, I have pistols, sawn-off shotguns, an axe, a sword, and, of course, the classic bow. I also bring with me a plethora of different items in my utility bag - hopefully I'll get to show you a few neat tricks. Love potions work better when ponies don't know they're under a spell. If they see me coming, the illusion can be broken in an instant. I can't risk being spotted by my targets."

"Are you ready for this? I ask seriously, because whilst I hope this will all be a simple teaching exercise, it can get pretty grim. I wish I could say I'd never had to deal with ponies who had been tipped over the edge, but the world isn't a pretty place, and some just can't deal with the nightmares in their reality, in their own minds, and Hearts and Hooves day can bring out the despair in some ponies. If you're willing to take the risk, fair enough. However, it's not going to be all fun and games today, okay?"

"Ready, then? Allons y!"

Cupid's Arrow

We arrive on the outskirts of the Crystal Empire. Cadance hovers above the air, observing the scene below. Everything seems relatively normal, bar one young colt. Cadance switches on the screen of her scouter.

"Okay, so we kick things off at home. The crystal ponies are amongst the happiest in Equestria. In olden times, all ponies were crystal. Unfortunately, harmony whittled down, and they lost their glow. Even one thousand years ago when Celestia sunk their last kingdom, the crystal ponies were a rare breed. They are much more in-tune with nature than your average pony, even Earth ponies struggle to match up against them. When a crystal pony is down in the dumps, they lose their glow. Other crystal ponies notice this change, and do their best to help out. It seems this little colt needs a little extra push in the right direction."

The scouter bleeps as it detects the colt. "So we're looking at a colt named 'Lightning Dash'. 'POWER' levels are measured in a way that combines the deficit of a pony's love, desire and drive. The higher the number, the more I need to do to help. This little guy has a power level of 19. That's not so high; it just seems like he's really nervous over something rather than being genuinely unhappy."

"Let's see what it is he desires." Cadance clicks the button on the side of her scouter, switching perspectives "Seems like he's fretting over whether or not a filly will like him. 'Cherry Blossom'." Lightning Dash begins trotting over to a table at a nearby fast food place. An adorable, peachy-coloured crystal filly skips over toward him. "This must be her" Cadance predicts, moving her scouter to scan her. A couple of bleeps later, her information appears. "Yep, that's her. Power level of 5. That's in a relatively safe zone; I guess she's not as nervous about this little get-together. Let's see what she wants more than anything."

The scouter bleeps over to the relevant information "She wants a caring young colt who will love her unconditionally" Cadance gleams. "Well your interests are compatible. Now let's see if you are compatible with each other." The Princess of Love draws out her bow, "We have to time this just right. She needs to be looking at him when this hits or it won't work, and even if she is looking at him, they need to have the right compatibility with each other, or the spark won't ignite. There are so many variables in love that this level of magic seldom works. I can't just make ponies fall in love. What I do is plant the seeds, ignite the spark, or whichever idiom you prefer to use."

The Princess kisses the tip of an arrow she had drawn from her quiver. Cadance begins drawing back her bow, taking aim at Cherry Blossom, "Cupid's arrow... fly!" she sings, releasing the arrow. It soars through the air, leaving a trail of translucent hearts floating up gently into the sky. The arrow arrives directly at Cherry Blossom's chest and simply disappears! Cadance promptly consults her scouter, "Cherry Blossom's power level is down to 2. Lightning Dash's is down to 4!" The pink alicorn seems pretty happy, "I rarely use Cupid's arrows anymore, as they so rarely work. This one seems to have done the trick, though. Lightning Dash seems more relaxed, Cherry Blossom seems almost smitten. I don't think I could have asked for a better result here."

"Done, done, and I'm onto the next one!" she smiles gleefully.

Harmony Hoof Grenade

"Know how I said it's not all sunshine and rainbows over here in Equestria? Well, you're about to witness some of that first-hand because we're off to a protest. It was supposed to be our first task this morning, but I just couldn't overlook little Lightning Dash. The big stuff is obviously important, but sometimes the little stuff even more so. Who knows, maybe that was a turning point in Lightning Dash's life - he could grow up to be king, or he could have grown up to be a criminal. It often takes a while for me to see the results of my influence, and it doesn't always turn out so well, but I like to think it helps to spread as much love as I can, especially today."

Cadance spots a large crowd of ponies in the distance, just on the boundaries of Canterlot, being confronted by a large group of Celestia's guard. "In every walk of life, you'll have people who disagree; it's just the way of things. Life wouldn't progress, we wouldn't evolve or thrive if we all settled into the same mindset. Ponies aren't meant to all be the same. Sometimes that creates friction, conflict and pain. It's never nice, but it can be civil - we can always settle our differences peacefully and respectfully. We're here to ensure nothing goes awry."

Cadance disables her scouter. "Having this on is pointless. You can feel there is tension between the group of protesters and the royal guard." She pulls out a couple of grenades. They're white with gold plating, and complete with the Equestrian coat of harmony. "This is what we call the Harmony Hoof Grenade. It has a blast radius of about five metres and helps to calm the nerves of large groups of ponies. We don't need to hit every pony in the crowd with these, just enough to prevent them from fighting each other. We prefer peaceful protest, but it doesn't always work like that. We need to hit this crowd before they turn into a riot; the sooner the better, because even a good hit won't guarantee it'll work. It's important to remember that whilst we can influence each other with our actions, we can't alter their paths, that has to be down to them."

Cadance pulls the pin on her grenades, throwing one down near the front of the protesters, and another one near the front of the royal guard. Just as the grenades hit the floor, the first act of violence is instigated by the protesters. A handful of bricks are thrown at the Royal Guard. The grenades go off. The guard lift their shields to protect themselves from the projectiles. "This could be bad. They started fighting before the grenades went off..."

The Royal Guard keep their shields up, refusing to move. Calmness temporarily washes over the protest. "This is it. We've got another opportunity. We have to make this one or else we've got a riot on our hooves." Cadance quickly levitates three more grenades in front of her, pulling the pins and throwing them down to the rabble. Each go off almost simultaneously. Unfortunately, it's not enough to stop the protesters from advancing and kicking things off properly.

"Great." Cadance sighs. "I need something a bit more heavy-duty." Out of nowhere, the Princess pulls out about a dozen shotguns, levitating them in front of her. "This could get messy." The Princess swoops down, using her magic to fire off shots at protester and royal guard alike. As each shot is fired, she discards a gun, pulling out another from her Arsenal. Each shot visibly calms the ponies caught in the path of the shells. Cadance focuses her efforts on those who are creating the most violence on both sides. "If we take out the ones causing the most trouble, the riot should cease sooner rather than later."

Cadance continues her onslaught, swooping in and out of the fight, observing the progress of the riot, calculating the best course of action to take to end it. As she swoops down back into the rabble, she's struck down by one of the protesters with a plank of wood to one of her wings. The Princess' magic is knocked out of whack momentarily, causing her to drop her weaponry. Acting quickly, she takes a gun and strikes an incoming protester across the face, dropping the gun to the floor as it strikes. The pink alicorn pants as she regains her composure. "We call that a 'love whip'. Heh."

Gathering her senses, Cadance takes off, collecting her shotguns along the way. Utilising her magic, she fuses the guns together, creating one giant rifle. "Coup final!" she yells as she pulls the trigger. The force of the shot sends both her and the rifle flying into the air as a huge bullet rockets down into the brawl. Upon connection, the whole area is filled in a pink haze. Both groups settle down. Arrests are made, some protesters are taken away, and some guards are helped to receiving medical attention, but overall, the fighting ceases.

Cadance observes the scene from a distance. "That didn't go so well. You'd think with being the Princess of love, I'd know how to deal with that better. As I said before, though, you can't force ponies to do what you want. That got a little too sketchy, though. Let's hope I don't have to do that again..."

Focus

Cadance sits down to examine her wing. "It's not broken or anything, but it's a bit sore. Guess I'll be scouting on the ground for now" she sighs. "We'll scout Canterlot for now." Equestria's proud home of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna gleams in the daylight, but it appears Cadance's search is in vain. "I didn't expect much from trotting around here. Everypony here is wealthy, in great health, with little to no worries." The Princess clicks on her scouter. It searches for nearby ponies, but each pony it finds reads minuscule power levels that she deems need no tampering with.

The pretty pink alicorn looks up to the royal castle which overlooks the city. "Let's see if Celestia is home." she states, cantering effortlessly to the front gates. Cadance approaches the guard on the gate. "Is Princess Celestia here?"

The guard shakes his head. "Unfortunately not, Princess Cadance. Princess Celestia is on official business in the Griffon Kingdom to discuss international relations."

Cadance smiles. "Not to worry. Thank you." Just as she turns away, her scouter bleeps, grabbing her attention. The guard's power level is 55.

The guard stares at her, pondering her hesitation.

Cadance shifts her attention away from the scouter "What's your name?"

"Uh, Princess?" the guard isn't sure how to respond.

"Your name. What is it?"

The guard stands to attention. "Archer, Your Highness"

"Archer? That's an unusual name for a pony... I like it." Cadance looks the guard up and down "and where are you from, Archer?"

He's nervous, stumbling across his answer. "C-Cloudsdale."

Cadance clicks her scouter with the least amount of subtlety. It reads his heart's desire: he wants to thrive at his work. "Tell me; why did you join the royal guard?"

"To serve and protect, Your Highness."

Cadance shakes her head. "That's not what I meant." she smiles. "You seem nervous."

Archer grows more tense. "No. Not at all, Princess"

The pink alicorn chuckles politely "But you're all tense. Relax a little. I don't bite." she grins at Archer as she glides around him, stroking his armour with her hoof. The two ponies share a silence. For her loyal guard, the silence seems long and awkward, but Cadance seems entirely relaxed. "Have you ever spoken to royalty before?"

Archer shakes his head nervously. "No"

"No...?" Cadance smirks slyly.

"No, Y-Your Highness!" he stutters, correcting himself.

"You're still tense, dear." she looks him deep in the eye. "Relax, Archie." Cadance pulls out a canned beverage. "Here, take this. Drink it, it'll help you loosen up" she floats a blue can in front of him. He takes it from her, cracks it open and takes a sip. Within seconds, his trembling ceases, he lets out a sigh and his posture becomes more at ease. "Better?"

Archer nods "Yes, ma'am."

"You're welcome. You're doing a good job. Keep it up."

"Thank you, ma'am."

Cadance turns her attention to the gate. "May I enter the castle now?"

"Of course." Archer scuttles off and lowers the gate for the Princess.

As she trots inside, she acknowledges her scouter. "Sorry I couldn't talk you through that one very well - it needed my strictest attention. You see, the scouter's information is limited. It can tell me some basic things, but it doesn't tell me everything. Archer's pretty new to the guard... well, new compared to some of the others, anyway. I think my presence took him by surprise. It's not too often Royals trot up to the gate unannounced..." she explains, clopping through the palace toward the throne room.

"...but he just wanted to be sure he was doing his job right. The drink I gave him, I call that the 'Blue Bovine'. It relaxes and focuses the mind. It works almost instantly, and one sip can last weeks. He's going to have that flowing through his system for a long time. By the time its effects wear off, he'll be in the groove of things and it should come more naturally to him."

Cadance arrives at an empty throne room, choosing to gaze at the stained glass windows as she talks. "I suppose you may have been hoping for something more interesting in this instance, but let me tell you that when all you care about is doing a good job, simply being acknowledged for doing so can mean the world. All he needed was a compliment from a pony he holds in high regard; in this case, me."

"Maybe the next pony will be more interesting for you..."

Twilight

Twilight comes bursting into the throne room, carrying documents. "Cadance!" she shouts, panicked. "Cadance! Where's Princess Celestia?"

"Isn't she visiting the Griffon Kingdom?"

Twilight stops in her tracks, accidentally dropping her papers. She hurriedly attempts to pick them up. "Oh no. I forgot. Why did I forget? Surely I couldn't have overlooked a date as important as this one! I couldn't! And now with Celestia out of town, and Luna asleep, working the night shift, I have nopony to help me with this..." she stumbles over a few of her papers, trying to collect them up in a pile.

"Woah, woah, Princess, calm down." Cadance interjects. "You're flustered."

"Flustered?!" Twilight interrupts. "I'm losing my head is what I am right now!" she groaned, throwing the papers back to the floor. "I've had my appointment with the foreign council pushed back, I've had the media in my face over this riot earlier today..." Cadance's scouter started bleeping "...Celestia is dealing with the Griffon Civil War, I had to make the adjustments for Daylight Savings Time myself at two in the morning, or one in the morning, or whatever, and now I've got this insufferable mare lobbing me with calls..." Twilight's power level increased as she continued to talk "...some ridiculous proposal for some 'revolutionary' new 'technology' she calls a 'wind farm'..." two hundred, three hundred "...all my plans have just fallen apart since I got this briefing about a new wave of parasprites coming in from the west. Crops are going to be ruined across Equestria unless we prevent their spread and our economy will absolutely crash!" the Princess of Friendship grunted angrily.

Cadance whistles loudly, stopping Twilight's moaning in its tracks. The Pink Princess yells for the guard just outside the doors of the throne room. He enters. "What is it, Princess?"

'Oh crap' Cadance thinks to herself. The guard at the door was Flash Sentry.

"Cadance?" Twilight enquires.

'Screw it, he'll have to do' Cadance continues, internally.

"Come here, Flash."

He trots up alongside Twilight. Cadance pulls out two revolvers, aiming one at Twilight and one at Flash. 'I'm going to regret this' she sighs to herself, unloading a round into both ponies.

"I have an important engagement, Twilight. I'm sorry. I have to go."

Cadance storms out of the room, leaving Twilight and Flash alone.

"I know." Cadance sighs "It's a bad ship. It's a sucky, sucky ship. Those were two 'lust' rounds I just fired off. Anypony under its spell will be heavily attracted to another pony shot with the same type of round. The effects last until both ponies affected achieve sexual climax."

"Like I said, I'm sorry... but some mares just need a good bucking."

Love's Touch

Cadance quickly and quietly closes the doors of the throne room behind her, sealing it with a little magical lock. "Lets leave them to it, ey?" the pink princess sheepishly suggests, gesturing a hoof down the corridor. "Let's go up to the tower."

A quick trot up the stairwell and the Princess of Love is atop the tower, overlooking Equestria. "Such a romantic view, and so appropriate for the day..." she pauses to soak in the atmosphere; the clear blue skies, the bright sun, and calm, cooling breeze "...I never thought about it until now, that the Princess of Love would witness more hurt and heartache than most other ponies in Equestria, ironically on the day where we celebrate our love." A short silence sweeps by as Cadance ponders the meaning of the day. "It's my duty to spread love. Without my influence, the world might not be such a lovely place."

The scouter begins to bleep as she stares off into the distance. It reads several above average power levels on the other side of Canterlot. "Looks like something's going on over there!" she exclaims as her horn glows a lush fuchsia. She wanders toward a metal case across the balcony which seems to have appeared from nowhere. Inside the case is a dismantled sniper rifle, and a small plastic box. The Princess opens the box, revealing a small pill, which she bites into and swallows. She then assembles the pieces calmly, clicking and sliding each component into place.

"If you're wondering about the pill I just took; it was a small dose of Valium. It's a drug that can be used to calm yourself down, to put it very simply. However, as a responsible Princess, I have to inform you that the pill I took was a controlled dose, built for purpose. There are some ponies out there who might try and sell you Valium on the streets. Don't do it. You never know what's inside those drugs, and you don't want to risk overdosing as you can easily end up in a coma or even dying. In short; drugs are bad, okay?"

The pink alicorn turned to the case containing the ammunition. The bullets are .30 calibre rounds, all encased in yellow gold and decorated with hearts made from rose gold. On top of the rifle, she attaches a sniper scope. "Right, let's see what's going on over there..." she says softly as she steadies the rifle on the floor, taking off her scouter. "I hope you'll still be able to hear me from over there. I can't take aim with the scouter on my face. Luckily, I designed this scope to contain the same software as the scouter." she explains as she flicks a switch on the scope, peering through the sights at her targets.

"Of course, it's the Equestria Cup game today between Canterlot Rovers and Trottingham Hotspur. There's some dirty tackles flying around, seems tensions might boil over. Unfortunately, we're too far away to make use of anything more effective, so we're going to have to calm things down with this rifle. As it happens, I'm one of the best sharpshooters in the Royal Guard. Sniping is a little out of my comfort zone in terms of range, but I've used this baby enough times now that I'm fairly competent with it. I'm shooting into a crowded area, and it doesn't matter who I hit, really. As long as I land enough hits in a decent enough time, things should calm down."

The Princess of Love wastes no time in shooting down her targets, firing rounds at the players and into the crowd. As the rounds hit, the impact causes them to explode violently, hitting several more targets in the process. The rifle kicks back into Cadance's shoulder with each shot, flinging out the casing onto the castle's roof and sending the explosive bullets on the way to their targets. Each round is loaded into the rifle individually; the pink alicorn reloading at incomprehensible speeds, ensuring the highest firing-rate possible.

In spite of her efforts, things look hopeless as a few ponies in the crowd start pushing others into causing trouble. The Princess and her steady aim ensures that within minutes, most of the players and a decent portion of the crowd had been hit. However, tensions were still rising. She switches up her aim and targets those who look to be the most trouble. One. Two. Three. Four. The rounds keep coming, and certain portions of the crowd become visibly calmed.

A few rounds later and Cadance ceases fire. The crowd is still tense, but not as aggressive as before. Cadance picks her scouter up and puts it back on. "Hey. Sorry I didn't talk much through all of that, but I should explain. Whilst my powers and weapons are strong, I can't force ponies to love and tolerate one another - that's ultimately up to them. I stopped firing because I feel I've done enough to stop this spilling over. The crowd seems more manageable and the stewards should be able to do their job of kicking out the troublemakers."

The Princess begins to dismantle the rifle, pulling her cleaning kit from the case. "We'll finish up here and head out of Canterlot. We've got so many places to explore, yet we've barely gotten out of the back yard." Cadance explains as she looks down the barrel of the disassembled rifle to inspect its cleanliness. "These things are a pain to clean; the love powder gets everywhere, making the shaft all white and sticky. I wouldn't recommend eating it, either. I did that once by accident - had the taste in my mouth for days."

Author's Note

Credit goes to Willfire for the inspiration behind this chapter.

Heart's Surprise

"I hope you're enjoying yourself so far," Cadance speaks to the scouter. "it's still quite early in the day. We've still got plenty of time to explore, and this is only a taster of the kind of weaponry I have at my disposal. I think it's time we went a bit further afield." explains the Princess as she trots back down from the tower, entering the throne room.

She leapt immediately back out of the room, having accidentally stumbled upon Twilight and Flash. "Completely forgot about those two..." she gasped, her eyes wide open and her pink face turning a bright shade of red. "...and Flash... was that his, uh...? Wow. I didn't realise it was so... and on Celestia's throne, too..." she nervously chuckled.

The Princess got a sudden shiver up her back as she heard panting from the throne room. The panting quickly subsided, replaced by a bit of loud shuffling and then the galloping of hooves toward the door. Cadance leapt to the side of the door as it came crashing open, capturing a glimpse of Flash's embarrassed face as he trotted off.

Twilight came barrelling out soon after. The Princess of Friendship caught Cadance's eye. Her face scrunched into one of pure rage. "You!" Twilight bellowed to Cadance. "I was supposed to be attending talks between the Griffon King and the head of the Rebellion this afternoon, but because of your meddling, I can't go. So guess who I'm sending in my place, Princess Mi Amore..." she snorted angrily. "Their whole kingdom is falling into despair and they've called on us to help them."

"I knew I'd regret this..." Cadance whispered to the scouter.

"You have to go. Now. The chariot is waiting outside. If you're not there in three hours, we'll miss the talks and the Griffon Kingdom could end up in even more trouble. The official paperwork is in there, I suggest you read up on what will be discussed and how we plan on handling it." Twilight moaned "This is an absolute disaster!"

"In hindsight, it doesn't seem like the revolver was enough." the pink alicorn whispered.

"Now excuse me. I need to...clean up..." she explained as her face shifted from an angry shade of red to an embarrassed one.

Now left alone just outside the throne room, Cadance perks up from her scolding. "Well, this seems to have put a dent in our plans for the day..." Cadance sighs "Don't get me wrong, the situation in the Griffon Kingdom is serious and all, but Twilight is much more adept to dealing with this kind of thing. That said, it looks like I'm in for a long, boring journey." the Princess of Love frowns "Let's see if we can make this journey more exciting, ey?"

Princess Mi Amore turns to where Twilight ran off to. "Let's deal with Twilight first."

Trotting along the castle's hallways to the restroom, Cadance pulls out a flat, round device with a heart-shaped button on top. "Heart's Surprise is the cute name I give to my very trusty love-mines. We can't just go in guns-a-blazing with Twilight again, because she'll be aware of it and it won't work. This one needs something a bit more indirect."

"These little babies are designed to calm and focus the mind. Definitely what Twilight needs to see her through the rest of her busy day. Let's go set one down in front of the restroom; she'll come out, then *boom*, instant relaxation!" Cadance chuckles to herself.

Cadance pulls up outside of the nearest restroom and puts her ear up against the door. She hears incoherent mumbling from inside. It must be Twilight. The Heart's Surprise is planted in front of the room and Cadance quickly makes her escape. However, cantering around a corner, she tumbles as she smacks full force into something. Picking herself up, she realises she's stumbled into Princess Twilight.

Confused, Cadance wonders who was about to take the love mine intended for the purple alicorn, but before she has time to react, she hears her Heart's Surprise claim its victim. She looks back down the corridor she came from to find Flash Sentry slicking through the halls like he owns the castle. "Well it's, uh, definitely taken effect..." Cadance smiles, amused by Flash's reaction to the spell.

"Cadance! Why haven't you left yet?" Twilight yells. Yet, before Cadance has a chance to respond, Twilight spies an orange stallion and turns her attentions to him. "You!" she bellows.

Flash isn't rustled by the screeching of Princess Twilight. Instead, he just keeps his Sentry Swagger going as he approaches the two Princesses. Twilight, however, is very rustled. She starts bearing down on him, but is stopped in her tracks as another explosion rocks the halls.

Twilight's anger ceases almost immediately. She locks gazes with Flash before pulling out her magic, slamming open the nearest door, levitating Flash and throwing him into whatever room the door concealed. Twilight seemingly follows him in, using her little teleportation trick. Cadance goes to check the situation, but only manages to catch a glimpse of Twilight standing over Flash before the door magically slams in her face.

Cadance speaks to herself, staring through the closed door "Go, Cadance. Just go...you can't fix this."

Author's Note

Credit goes to Willfire for the inspiration behind this chapter.

Love Less

The afternoon is beaming down sparkling sunshine all across Equestria. Cadance flies low, heading in the general direction of the Griffon Kingdom. "We have to fly low for a while. My path takes me over a small desert town known as 'Heart Acre'. There lives the most heartless pony in Equestria: a stallion named 'Love Less'."

"Love Less is a rotten pony. He's an inventor who uses rare metals to construct his obscene creations which he uses to spread fear and loathing in Las Pegasus. I've tried my hoof at converting him into a loving, caring pony for years but no method seems to work. He truly is the embodiment of hatred. I'll have to be cautious heading over his airspace as the year prior he had installed a new radar system that attempted to shoot me down mid-flight." and unfortunately for Miss Cadenza, this year is no different, for as soon as she utters those fateful words she is met with two huge anti-love rockets screeching toward her.

The Princess tries her best to outsmart them; flying around rocks, looping back over herself, and doing barrel rolls (pressing 'z' or 'r' twice on a small control panel on her armour sends electrical pulses through to her wing amplifiers allowing for quick and agile manoeuvres such as barrel rolls), but more drastic measures need to be taken to shake off these anti-love rockets.

Cadance calls on her trusty bow, drawing out special arrows with rainbow-coloured ends. "Explosive rounds." she smiles, pointing an arrow at the vessel. Unfortunately, the princess misjudges the speed of the missile and her arrow explodes just meters from her position, sending her barrelling toward the ground.

An on-looker in a wheelchair observes the Princess slamming into the ground and slowly wheels his way over to her. Cadance, still conscious, recognises the familiar squeaking of the wheels and bolts herself up off the floor. She hovers only slightly off the ground as she peers into the eyes of Love Less.

"Mi... Amore... Cadenza..." he grins slyly, wheeling himself closer to her.

"Love Less." she snarls.

"Now tell me, Princess, what it is that brings you to this here neck of the woods?"

"I have an important engagement in the Griffon Kingdom... and it's a desert, Love Less."

Love Less chuckles insincerely at the Princess' quick wit. "Indeed it is, Princess. Indeed it is," he wheels himself slowly around Cadance's side, keeping his distance, "but you mention the Griffon Kingdom. Now, as you know, I'm quite familiar with that place. I was, myself, an ambassador to the Griffon Kingdom many years ago, as you know, until there was a little... 'incident', shall we say."

Cadance lowers herself to the floor, breathing heavily, never unlocking her eyes from Love Less. "An unfortunate incident it was..."

"Who'd have thought the 'Princess of Love' could harbour such jealousy?" Love Less taunts.

"It wasn't jealousy!" The Princess snaps.

"Oh, ho, ho!" Love Less chuckles. "You're quite angry, aren't you, Princess? You know as well as I the events which unfolded that day did so in such a manner as to ensure your own rise to power. Did you ever consider the cost, Mi Amore?"

Cadance remains silent.

"No! Of course not! Had you considered the full consequences of your actions that day, I may still have had my legs!"

"You may have had your legs, but your heart would have remained as cold as ice, Love Less."

"Of course, but we both know who is at fault for that, don't we, Princess?" Love Less pulls out a device; a simple small square cage with thick black bars, barely large enough to house a small rabbit. A magical aura surrounds it.

"What's that?"

"A little project I've been working on. It is a machine designed to capture, and is also impervious to alicorn magic!" he laughs.

"How could you possibly know that?"

"Because it's already been tested!" he cackles manically, pushing a button on the remote control for his device.

The black cage springs into life, flying at an unbeatable pace toward the princess. The pink Princess turns to flee, but the cage magically grabs her and holds her still. The cage grows in size and the bars simply phase through Cadance before solidifying her inside her apparently impervious prison.

Cadance attempts to use her magic to escape, but true to Love Less' word, the cage is completely unaffected. Love Less pushes more buttons on the control, sending the cage hurtling through the air. The Princess of the Crystal Empire lands heavily, face-down beside a wall. She shakes it off and corrects her body's orientation, yelling Love Less' name.

Minutes pass before Love Less eventually wheels himself around a corner into view. "Love Less!"

"Come on, Princess!" Love Less smiles, 'playfully' ignoring Cadance's screams, "It's been so long, I thought you'd be happy to be in my company! It's so rare we get such an opportunity." he grins as he taps more commands for his device.

The wall judders and shakes before separating itself. Dust and debris fall, and warm air rushes out from inside what appears to be a darkened stairwell. The cage lifts Cadance once more, levitating her down. On the wall is a rail upon which Love Less places and fixes the back of his wheelchair to. With a touch of a button, the wheelchair glides gently down the rail. The wall closes in behind itself.

The only light left is emitted by the aura of the cage. It's pitch black, otherwise, and nothing can be seen bar Cadance inside the cage, and the faint reflection of the aura upon Love Less' face as they continue their descent.

Arriving at the bottom seems to take forever, but it eventually comes. Cadance is placed on the dusty, sandy floor by another cage. Love Less seemingly disappears.

"Hello?" The Princess of Love calls out quietly to the other cage. There was no answer.

Suddenly, torches hung on the wall light up in a blaze. Cadance's eyes adjust to the light and can now see what is in the cage beside her...

Princess Celestia!

Love Letters

Celestia is unconscious inside her cage. "Celestia?" Cadance calls out, "It's me, Cadance. Are you alright?"

The Princess of the Sun was completely unresponsive. Cadance's shouts become louder and louder as she attempts to awaken Celestia, but her efforts are entirely in vain.

Giving up, Cadance speaks into her scouter, "I'm sorry, guys. I had the whole day planned out for us, but it seems Love Less has other ideas. I need to figure a way out of this." The Princess lays down, pondering a way out. She pulls out a piece of paper, an envelope, a bottle of perfume and a quill and begins writing. "Talking it out might not work with Love Less, but it's a well-known fact there is much more power behind the written word."

It takes her just a few moments to write her secret note. Cadance levitates the envelope, sprays the paper with the perfume, slips the paper inside the envelope and seals it before hiding it away. Celestia finally begins to come around. Cadance notices and leaps up, "Princess!"

Celestia is disorientated, taking a moment to get her bearings right and mustering up enough of basic functions to formulate a response. "Cadance?"

"Yes, it's me. Are you alright?"

"I think so. Where are we?"

"We're in some kind of dungeon, I think."

"How did you get here?"

"Twilight sent me out to the Griffon Kingdom in her place. She ran into a few... 'scheduling problems' and asked me to go."

"I was on my way there, too, but the chariot was ambushed by Love Less and his potions. He disabled my magic and sealed me inside this cage. My guards were also captured, though I'm not sure where they are."

Cadance attempts to brew up a magic spell. Her horn glows, she lowers her head and fires a beam of intense magic directly at the bars. The cage merely absorbs the blast. "My magic is useless!"

"Sadly, yes. I've tried myself to escape, but the cage is impervious to magic and the bars are simply too strong to break with brute force."

"So how do we get out?"

The two princesses are startled by the reappearance of Love Loss, "You don't!"

"Love Less!" Cadance cries, "Let us out!"

"No."

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Please?"

"I said no!"

"With a crystal cherry on top?"

Love Less stops himself, opting to avoid allowing himself to be wound up by the Princess, "You may find yourself quite amusing, Miss Cadenza, but I will not have you make a mockery of me!" Love Less reveals a small bottle, "See this? This is my latest creation-"

"Really? I'm not sure, I mean bottles have been around for quite a while"

Cadance's tomfoolery makes Love Less flare his nostrils in agitation, "-it is a poison which corrupts the magic of the consumer. The negative energy manifests inside its host until it is strong enough to take over. It then transfers itself via aura radiation (see notes) to other ponies. Unfortunately, it also has a few side effects including, but limited to: nausea, vomiting, spontaneous magical discharge, blurred vision, headaches, joint and muscle pain, heart palpitations, shortness of breath, dizziness, slurred speech, numbness of the horn, hallucinations, paranoia, partial or complete paralysis and even death!"

"Yeah that's sweet and all, Love Less, but can it regrow a pony's hind legs?" Cadance taunts.

"And with that remark, my dear, you have just volunteered yourself for a sample!" he cackles, rolling his way towards the cage. Cadance figures this is the best time to utilise the power of the written word, revealing her letter and handing it over to Love Less. "What is this?"

"Well you said your poison can cause a severe case of death; I wrote a letter for you and I wanted to make sure you got it before you killed me."

"My dear, our relationship is far beyond the point of reconcile via childish 'love letters'. Now prepare to have your life stripped from you in the most agonising fashion imaginable!"

The mad earth pony takes the remote for his contraption and slams his hoof down on it. The cage springs into life, stretching and contorting to create a gap large enough for Cadance to simply trot through. "Thank you. That's much nicer than being in the cage. See, even you can show some love, even if it is considerably less than others."

"Jest all you like, Princess, but we will see who has the final laugh soon enough!"

"You're just so full of little clichés, aren't you? The crazy scientist vibe, the cackling, the one-liners, it's like you've come straight out of an old movie."

"Well then, I guess it is in this scene, Mi Amore, where I exact my revenge on you, and your story comes to a sad, tragic end!" Love Less takes the letter from Cadance and offers her the poison in return.

"Well, technically, if this were a movie, this would actually be the scene where I kick your sorry ass after you attempt to make me-"

"Drink the poison!" Love Less interrupts.

"Yeah, that one." Cadance pulls her head back as Love Less pushes the bottle to her face. "Wait! Aren't you supposed to give me some kind of last request or something?"

"I'm not honour-bound by any such nonsense."

"I just want you to read my letter."

"Absolutely not!"

"Please, Love Less?" the princess flutters her eyelashes at the crazy stallion. He begins to back down slowly.

"Fine." he holds out letter, opens it, and begins reading. Within seconds, Love Less drops the letter, his face awkwardly slumps down onto the floor and falls asleep.

"That should buy us some time." Cadance quickly gets to work on removing the wheels from his chair and taking away the controls to his magic cages. She places him in the corner as she ponders what to do next. She stares at the controls for the cage, but is baffled when she discovers there is only a single button. The Princess approaches Celestia's cage, "I'm sorry, I don't know what to do; there's only one button. There must be some special way of using it."

"Perhaps it's magically powered."

"But Love Less is an Earth pony, not a unicorn."

"Yes, but he's a very smart stallion. We've seen that it works; I guess we'll have to wait until he wakes up to find out how..."

Author's Note

'Aura Radiation':-

A pony's natural magical power emits a constant aura not visible by the naked eye. Auras are applicable to all races (earth, pegasus, unicorn).

Ponies traditionally struggle with facial recognition (exceptions include family and close friends), making Aura Radiation one of the primary ways for ponies to identify each other (alongside Cutie Mark identification and scent).

Each aura is unique - like a fingerprint - and undergoes changes depending on a pony's health (physical and mental), mood, and other factors. Changes in aura do not affect a pony's ability to be able to identify them, and is as obvious as a physical injury; noticeable enough that they understand something is wrong or has changed, but not so much as to make them unidentifiable.

Aura Radiation also has the ability to affect other ponies in such a way that if one pony feels exceptionally happy, their mood will literally radiate to others, and likewise any negative effects, such as sadness and even illnesses such as Magic Flu.

Lyre Heartstrings

Love Less eventually awakes from his slumber, drowsy and unaware.

"Love Less..." Cadance calls to him. The legless stallion struggles to focus his eyes or his mind on anything. "Love Less!"

The embodiment of hatred suddenly whips his head up and makes an attempt to look the princess in the eye. "Wh- What happened?" the cold-hearted pony tries to wheel himself forward, but is shocked to find the wheels of his chair have disappeared, "Give me those back!"

"Not until you release the Princess."

"I will do no such thing!"

"Then forget it. Stay down here. I'll find some other method of releasing Celestia."

Love Less chortles, reaching for the remote, "There are no other methods! The control I-" he quickly realises the remote for the cages is no longer in his possession, "Where is it?"

Cadance waves the device in his face, "Tell me how to use it."

"That control is magically linked to me. It responds only to my desires."

"I had a feeling that would be the case." Cadance takes out baseball bat from her arsenal. It looks like a standard wooden bat, complete with red heart-shaped borders around the handle and a single, large pink love heart at the end of the bat. Cadance thrusts the bat underneath Love Less' chin. "Do you desire to release Celestia?"

Love Less laughs at the suggestion, "It's going to take much more than your silly little Love Arsenal to make me release her."

Cadance taps the scouter, taking a reading of his power level. The Princess gasps, "Fifteen-hundred."

"You look shocked, Princess. Who'd have thought that someone like me could harbour so much hatred?"

The Princess of Love takes the bat, pulls it to one side and slams it across his face. From the connection, an explosion of hearts burst out and fill the air, but as they settle, Love Less merely laughs at her. In response, she strikes him again, and again, and again, catching only glimpses of his smug face through the endless flurry of hearts. The scouter fuzzes as it struggles to take a reading.

"Cadance!" Celestia pleads, "Restrain yourself!"

The Princess pulls herself back from the senseless beating, allowing a moment for the air to clear. The scouter blips and bleeps as it struggles to find a coherent reading for Love Less. Cadance is met by surprise as the first reading creeps up and beyond twenty-three hundred. "What? His power level, it's rising!"

The reading from the scouter increases exponentially with every passing second with no signs of slowing down. She observes Love Less as his mental health visibly degrades in front of her eyes. Three thousand: his mad cackle has turned into a quiet hysteria. Four thousand: his arms recede inward and he begins to cry through his laughter. Five thousand: He begins to rock slowly back and forth. His laughter ceases completely. Six thousand: Love Less locks eyes with Cadance, tears streaming down his face. Seven thousand: He stops blinking, stops moving, and stops crying, but continues to stare directly into Cadance's eyes. Eight thousand: Complete unresponsiveness. His stare becomes lifeless. His entire body remains deadly still as the scouter's readings still increase. Eight thousand five hundred. Eight thousand, six. Eight thousand, seven...

The Princess of Love slowly removes the scouter from her face. Celestia observes the fear in her eyes. "Cadance, what does the scouter say about his power level?"

The sight of Love Less' beaten and broken heart sends floods of memories into the mind of Mi Amore Cadenza. She recalls with extreme clarity the day she met Love Less, the days they spent together, and the way they parted. Strong emotions of grief and sorrow flood over her as she continues to recall the events of the past. The Princess drops the scouter as she stumbles over to Love Less, falling down onto her knees and embracing the emotionally damaged stallion. Her heart becomes heavy, she struggles to catch her breath, and her eyes well up with tears.

"I'm sorry." Cadance mutters. "I'm so, so sorry, Lovemore. It's my fault. It's all my fault. I've passed the blame onto you for everything that transpired between us, but you're not the one to blame." the tears of Cadance's pain drop down onto Love Less' shoulder, "You loved me with all your heart, but I never loved you in return. I thought I was helping you, but my 'help' has turned you into the heartless monster you've since become. Love is the source of your sorrow, which is why my attempts to cure you always backfired, and it's taken me all these years to realise that. I just don't know how to fix you."

Celestia stares on at the unfolding emotional outbreak, "Cadance, you're no more to blame for this than he is; you had no way of knowing how he would react. You saw a pony whose life was without love and strived to change that. What you couldn't have foresaw was that the only thing he loved was power. Love Less strives to control others."

"But he loved me."

"He only loved the power he thought he could acquire with you at his side. He would have used you like he used everypony else he ever met. He's a monster."

Cadance picks herself up and dries her tears. She kicks the scouter out of the middle of the floor and settles herself down on the ground. Her head hangs low and she takes a moment to compose herself. As her horn glows, the room is temporarily fills with a bright light. Out of the light comes a golden lyre, drifting downward until it settles into the hooves of the Princess.

The Princess of Love slowly begins to pluck at the strings of the lyre, creating a beautifully sad tune. The sounds reverberate around the dimly lit room as she starts to sing;

Oh, how it is, this face I see,
These battle-scar lines and eyes of green,
These hooves beating down a lonely road,
With a treacherous mind and a heart of stone,
Lay waste to the lives of the souls who pray,
For his mind to be freed from this damned decay.

For years without care, without joy or love,
No sense to be found from the stars above,
Driven to hate, and strive to feed,
On the kindness of others to fuel his greed,
But here through madness I now descend,
To bring all this pain to its rightful end.

As the melody plays, the words of Cadance's song creates a soothing harmony fuelled by her powerful magic, and sprawls its way across the room, piercing itself directly into Love Less' heart. From there, it spreads throughout his body, slowly but surely bringing him back from the brink of insanity. The scouter blips, prompting Celestia to reach from her prison to grab it from the floor. She awkwardly pushes it over her ear and observes the reading as it gradually declines. "It's over nine-thousand," the Princess mutters, "but it's working."